My Name is John Wellington Wells - The Sorcerer

The D'Oyly Carte Opera Company Performs Gilbert & Sullivan's The Sorcerer
My name is John Wellington Wells,
I'm a dealer in magic and spells,
In blessings and curses
And ever-filled purses,
In prophecies, witches, and knells.
If you want a proud foe to "make tracks"--
If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax--
You've but to look in
On the resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!
We've a first-class assortment of magic;
And for raising a posthumous shade,
With effects that are comic or tragic,
There's no cheaper house in the trade.
Love-philtre--we've quantities of it!
And for knowledge if any one burns,
We keep an extremely small prophet, a prophet
Who brings us unbounded returns:
For he can prophesy
With a wink of his eye,
Peep with security
Into futurity,
Sum up your history,
Clear up a mystery,
Humour proclivity
For a nativity--for a nativity;
He has answers oracular,
Bogies spectacular,
Tetrapods tragical,
Mirrors so magical,
Facts astronomical,
Solemn or comical,
And, if you want it, he
Makes a reduction on taking a quantity!
Oh!
If any one anything lacks,
He'll find it all ready in stacks,
If he'll only look in
On the resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!
He can raise you hosts of ghosts,
And that without reflectors;
And creepy things with wings,
And gaunt and grisly spectres.
He can fill you crowds of shrouds,
And horrify you vastly;
He can rack your brains with chains,
And gibberings grim and ghastly!
Then, if you plan it, he
Changes organity,
With an urbanity
Full of Satanity,
Vexes humanity
With an inanity
Fatal to vanity--
Driving your foes to the verge of insanity!
Barring tautology,
In demonology,
'Lectro-biology,
Mystic nosology,
Spirit philology,
High-class astrology,
Such is his knowledge, he
Isn't the man to require an apology!
Oh!
My name is John Wellington Wells,
I'm a dealer in magic and spells,
In blessings and curses
And ever-filled purses,
In prophecies, witches, and knells.
If any one anything lacks,
He'll find it all ready in stacks,
If he'll only look in
On the resident Djinn,
Number seventy, Simmery Axe!

[@DustWarden]

I memorized this song in order to use it as a personal sobriety test. If I CAN sing it, I've had too much to drink.

[@BFBCFTW]

I did the same thing with I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General. I started uni not knowing any of it, and by then end could sing it all perfectly when drunk as a lord!

[@charlietuba]

Try the Nightmare song from Iolanthe.

[@DustWarden]

That's a challenge, all right - and one with disturbing personal relevance - but as a Dungeons & Dragons player from way back, it doesn't have the same appeal for me. I did, in fact, create John Wellington Wells as a D&D character, and he was a total badas... well, he quite held his own, let's say.

[@ivanrorick]

Try it with "My Eyes Are Fully Open" from Ruddigore.

[@karsonbollinger8412]

JCKDKSKGKGKDKKDJCKSKDJGKSPSKFKGKOSP

[@derricgreene]

As is my habit of learning Gilbert and Sullivan patter songs, I must devote the next month of my life yo this.

[@benk6737]

It's a hard habit to break.

[@Aneokame]

+Derric Greene Same, man. Same.

[@theobolt250]

So, I'm not alone in this. Ah, a fellow sufferer. Quite the relief. 😁

[@janetr7470]

We had a set of G + S patter songs on 78s when i was a kid. This is the one several of us chose to memorize (lyrics included!). I know most of the others, but this is the one! Also, the one no one has heard of 😂

[@rks581]

"Simmery Axe" refers to No. 70 St. Mary Axe, a street in the City of London. It's one of those clipped pronunciations Londoners use: "S'M'ry Axe". There is now a building at this location -- the last building on the short street. The Gherkin, probably London's best candidate for a sorcerer's tower, is on St. Mary Axe.

[@topherbrink2078]

I never knew what this meant! Thanks!

[@Heartborne7thSeeker]

Midsomer murders brought me here because it is being used in the episode with the magic circle.

[@jayjames3643]

Oh, my name is John Wellington Wells I'm a dealer in magic and spells In blessings and curses And ever-filled purses In prophecies, witches, and knells If you want a proud foe to "make tracks" If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax You've but to look in on our resident Djinn Number seventy, Simmery Axe We've a first-class assortment of magic And for raising a posthumous shade With effects that are comic or tragic There's no cheaper house in the trade Love-philtre, we've quantities of it And for knowledge if any one burns We keep an extremely small prophet, a prophet Who brings us unbounded returns For he can prophesy with a wink of his eye Peep with security into futurity Sum up your history, clear up a mystery Humor proclivity for a nativity He has answers oracular, bogies spectacular Tetrapods tragical, mirrors so magical Facts astronomical, solemn or comical And, if you want it, he Makes a reduction on taking a quantity Oh, if any one anything lacks He'll find it all ready in stacks If he'll only look in on the resident Djinn Number seventy, Simmery Axe He can raise you hosts of ghosts And that without reflectors And creepy things with wings And gaunt and grisly spectres He can fill you crowds of shrouds And horrify you vastly He can rack your brains with chains And gibberings grim and ghastly Then, if you plan it, he changes organity With an urbanity full of Satanity Vexing humanity with an inanity Fatal to vanity Driving your foes to the verge of insanity But in tautology on demonology 'Lectro biology, mystic nosology Spirit philology, high class astrology Such is his knowledge, he Isn't the man to require an apology Oh, my name is John Wellington Wells I'm a dealer in magic and spells In blessings and curses And ever-filled purses In prophecies, witches, and knells If any one anything lacks He'll find it all ready in stacks If he'll only look in on the resident Djinn Number seventy, Simmery Axe

[@xpickpoke2266]

Lovely day for it

[@davedoom60]

I ♡ YOU JOHN REED ♡

[@begs54]

No that is John Reed. I have a Martyn Green recording of The Sorcerer. I was luckly to meet John Reed 3 times. Once in New York and twice in Boston when the D'oyly Carte was on tour in 1976 & 1978. He also gave a master class for G &S sometime in the early 80's in Nashua NH with the Nashua Symphony. I saw Martyn Green in H.M.S. Pinafore at a summer stock performace in Beverly MA. Met him and was a very engaging person. He WAS G & S of the 20th century.

[@ubet58]

The artist on this recording is Peter Pratt, who played the patter roles after Martyn Green and before John Reed

[@theobolt250]

I bet that somewhere is a modern major-general in this guy's family 😜😁

[@AliceTRoyal]

This song makes me feel out of breath just to listen to it.

[@dragonzrreal]

This is fabulous! I think Richard Seldon would approve. LOL!

[@kingpinkoopa6218]

Whatever you do don"t slow this song down, it sounds like Necronomicon the musical

[@JoshFreilich]

But also don't speed it up too much!

[@paulsmith5752]

Just search "Hey There Cthulhu" by Eben Brooks :D

[@SusannahMacDonald]

This is an excellent recording - another one I haven't heard for years ......saw John Reed as Koko in NZ back in, i think, 1978 with the Doyle Carte company.

[@mbabist01]

Zowie, I just love this one!

[@jellyfishattack]

@TopherBrink You SAW John Reed OBE, you are truly lucky, I was only 5 when he quit D'Oyly Carte.

[@izayahalejo1483]

does any one know where i can find a backing track for this song?

[@josephpanzarella1417]

Popeye took the name of the character J. Wellington Wimpy from Gilbert & Sullivan.

[@jellyfishattack]

@FoxyRoxyProductions Did D'Oyly Carte do anything but G &S? I didn't think they did.

[@yourmom-ir9ze]

No, all productions were by G&S.

[@DerekRoss1958]

For one hundred years, the D'Oyly Carte Conpany WERE G&S! They did perform other material in the 1890s and 1900s but more recently G&S was all they did.

[@PooBah891]

Are you sure it was not Martyn Green? Tragic ending to a great career as, to me, the greatest interpreter of the Patter Songs

[@ubet58]

It's Peter Pratt, who followed Martyn Green, and preceded John Reed.

[@harnett4]

Is there any instrumentals of this song

[@davidpenn8930]

imslp.org/wiki/The_Sorcerer_(Sullivan,_Arthur) if you can play it.

[@ericeinhorn7908]

With a slight change in the name this would make an excellent theme/campaign song for Donald Trump!