My Sister Wants To Borrow $5,000!

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Жыл бұрын

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Пікірлер: 649
@maryanneviola752
@maryanneviola752 3 ай бұрын
My dad always used to say "I don't borrow money, I don't lend money and I don't co-sign."
@murdoch1717
@murdoch1717 8 күн бұрын
Such a wise man.
@d.taylor3760
@d.taylor3760 4 ай бұрын
My brother wanted to borrow $5k from me so I asked for his wife's diamond engagement ring as collateral. I'd put it in my safe deposit box and they'd get it back when the last payment was made. Never heard back from him regarding borrowing any money after that.
@Lakhesys
@Lakhesys 3 ай бұрын
Good idea!
@dortheay7361
@dortheay7361 3 ай бұрын
That’s a great idea !
@richardw3470
@richardw3470 3 ай бұрын
And, was the ring worth $5K? Bet not. Which tells a lot.
@Jeff-sp7bg
@Jeff-sp7bg 2 ай бұрын
That's pretty cold and slimy. Ew
@maryshannon4444
@maryshannon4444 2 ай бұрын
Great idea. It's a loan and when its paid give back the ring.
@kschrop
@kschrop Жыл бұрын
If you're a high earner, never brag to your family about what you make or will be making....
@missj5564
@missj5564 Жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@michelarosier1918
@michelarosier1918 Жыл бұрын
I agree 💯. Keep to yourself.
@jml9550
@jml9550 Жыл бұрын
But they do know that type of job I have and the average income and many house I own. Either way, I won’t give them a dime unless they are disabled and starving. If they are able to work, don’t expect my handout because they choose to be lazy.
@gooserich3970
@gooserich3970 Жыл бұрын
You are correct…Learned that one the hard way
@Howdy762
@Howdy762 Жыл бұрын
my wife and i are both 24yo. were kinda learning this now.
@richricogranada9647
@richricogranada9647 Жыл бұрын
If the couple has 500K they should never tell anyone that-EVER!
@deeznuts7061
@deeznuts7061 4 ай бұрын
Hard to hide it if they are driving nice cars, live in nice house, hold good occupations, take vacations.
@gmarie3053
@gmarie3053 4 ай бұрын
I do all these things and act broke. People assume I’m a bad spender with no savings and I let them 🤷‍♀️
@kieferzenko
@kieferzenko 3 ай бұрын
You can do what you want, but I have heard Dave say pretending to be broke to avoid setting boundaries with friends and family is cowardly.
@zesolodar
@zesolodar 3 ай бұрын
i mean i dont care if my family knows what i have because my family isnt filled with entitled leaches
@kimberlyf.4130
@kimberlyf.4130 Жыл бұрын
One of the best pieces of advice my Dad ever gave me was never give any money you expect to get back.
@dreesaad6151
@dreesaad6151 Жыл бұрын
I just tell people I'm broke. I had to cut ties because my sibling said I'm the reason he can't pay his bills because I didn't co-sign a $20k loan 🙄
@NovatusRSGaming
@NovatusRSGaming Жыл бұрын
I borrowed money from my mother to help with closing costs on my first home. Was about $4000. I paid the agreed $150 every month, on time. Yet she still holds the loan over my head and tells my other family members about how she “had” to loan me $4k when I didn’t even ask for it….. money and family definitely do not mix.
@moreiscomingeasy6710
@moreiscomingeasy6710 Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry for you. Parents do such things from the Heart. I'd raise the monthly amount, and get it over with as soon as possible
@xoxrazzyxox
@xoxrazzyxox Жыл бұрын
Yeah that’s a long time to pay that off. I paid my mum back £7000 over seven months by pickling extra work for a while
@macsc5497
@macsc5497 10 ай бұрын
Terrible. Would never loan someone money and hold it over their head
@wtech758
@wtech758 10 ай бұрын
Roughly 2 yrs to pay back $4k is poor tbh
@jeannet7443
@jeannet7443 9 ай бұрын
@@macsc5497 Not unless they refuse to pay it back, when they signed an agreement to do so.
@PhilipMarcYT
@PhilipMarcYT Жыл бұрын
I let my sister borrow 5k and she never paid back. Money and family don't mix.
@PInk77W1
@PInk77W1 Жыл бұрын
My sis borrowed $1000. Off me and never paid me back. I didn’t even care. LoL It’s just gone.
@marietaylor5174
@marietaylor5174 Жыл бұрын
You probably knew deep down that that money was gone for good.
@PhilipMarcYT
@PhilipMarcYT Жыл бұрын
@@marietaylor5174 yes, but I thought she'd be responsible.
@annie4horses
@annie4horses Жыл бұрын
Same with friends.
@gmarie3053
@gmarie3053 Жыл бұрын
Older family member took 600 from me when I was 16 and working in fast food 10 hours/week while at school. It was a lot at the time
@88happiness
@88happiness Жыл бұрын
I just finished paying off my sister. I appreciate the loan, and she was cool loaning it to me, but I never want to be there again. It didn't feel good to be there.
@Carib6855
@Carib6855 9 ай бұрын
Hope you started your emergency fund.
@SemajRaff
@SemajRaff 3 ай бұрын
You should feel good knowing you took responsibility and saw fit to pay back. Plenty of siblings would have taken the money and acted like it didn’t happen and continue to get into a mess
@nancyskilton136
@nancyskilton136 3 ай бұрын
My dad borrowed $2,000 from me with the understanding that he would pay it back when he received his tax refund. He insisted that he sign a promissory note. He paid it back as promised. Years later, when we were cleaning out his apartment after his death, my sister asked why my dad wrote me a check for $2,000. I told her it was to pay off a loan. She said she found that hard to believe and that I should pay the $2,000 into his estate. Fortunately, I had kept the promissory note.
@tande0822
@tande0822 Ай бұрын
😮what in the world is wrong with your sister?!
@carolr7823
@carolr7823 10 күн бұрын
Your sister sounds like a nasty person.
@Jane-rh7tc
@Jane-rh7tc 6 күн бұрын
@@tande0822 she most likely thought she can get more inheritance this way, thinking her dad has $2k more cash 😂
@sharons5714
@sharons5714 Жыл бұрын
My sister “borrowed “ a lot of money from our mother, and now I am helping to support my mother
@deborahblackvideoediting8697
@deborahblackvideoediting8697 Жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh, do you mean that your mother lent your sister so much money that it affected her retirement income? If so, that's terrible!
@michelejohnson6459
@michelejohnson6459 4 ай бұрын
Mother should have had boundaries. No means no. It's ok if family doesn't speak to you. 🙄
@nancygamez7087
@nancygamez7087 Жыл бұрын
You don't owe your sister anything because you are financially able.
@PInk77W1
@PInk77W1 7 ай бұрын
I had a brother 10y older than me. He called me one time and asked to Borrow $3k. I said I don’t have no $3k. He said u can use your credit card? I said no.
@ajossi
@ajossi Жыл бұрын
I grew up poor and when I turned 18 I joined the military and have lived my entire adult life debt free. My family has not stopped begging for money my entire adult life. I rarely talk to them or visit because of it.
@RavnerRavner
@RavnerRavner Жыл бұрын
You're such a good soul.
@treelover1050
@treelover1050 Жыл бұрын
YOU HAVE A GOOD HABIT OF LIVING DEBT FREE.
@terri6584
@terri6584 Жыл бұрын
If you grew up poor it sounds like your family needs good knowledge Ex. Dave Ramsey’s program. Possibly, you can keep redirecting your family to D.Ramsey’s program & actually HELP your family. It sounds like the truly need to & would benefit from it. Never assume anything.
@leisure057blank3
@leisure057blank3 Жыл бұрын
I don’t blame you one bit.
@nunyabidnes6010
@nunyabidnes6010 Жыл бұрын
Suuuure
@kwd57
@kwd57 Жыл бұрын
Just don't lend money, unless you don't expect to ever get it back.
@nathanmitchell2827
@nathanmitchell2827 Жыл бұрын
Yeah I learned that the hard way.
@ivanvargas2425
@ivanvargas2425 Жыл бұрын
Exactly but people never learn
@terriesmith2616
@terriesmith2616 Жыл бұрын
Exactly. 💯💯💯 When I lent money to my siblings, in the back of my mind, I counted that money as gone and I'll never get it back. If my siblings paid me back, then great, but if they didn't, that's also fine by me because I've already accepted that I'll probably never get it back.
@kennymartin379
@kennymartin379 Жыл бұрын
Ant that the truth
@t6667778
@t6667778 Жыл бұрын
Aaaaaaa Men!!
@Georgemorales5559
@Georgemorales5559 Жыл бұрын
I don’t lend anyone money I’ll buy them food if they are hungry
@SusanMarie3
@SusanMarie3 3 ай бұрын
Right - I’m buying groceries if the pantry’s bare and the kids are hungry
@DD-sc9bu
@DD-sc9bu 2 ай бұрын
Am doing that now, though my human nature is looking at those carts thinking these are expensive bad food choices
@rnt45t1
@rnt45t1 Жыл бұрын
Dude is swimming in money, and the sister knows it. This is how you stop talking to relatives for the rest of your life.
@chukuemekaoje1015
@chukuemekaoje1015 Жыл бұрын
Agreed! And because of that, it's all but guaranteed that the sister is gonna throw a huge fit when the caller attempts to put strings on the money.... since "he has the money" and that "he should look out for family".
@robloxvids2233
@robloxvids2233 Жыл бұрын
The simpleist way to answer is with the fewest words possible: "No." The longer answer is "No, my money is for my children." Dave's answer is controlling and patronizing. Just say No.
@antionneanderson9721
@antionneanderson9721 Жыл бұрын
You should never ever tell a person how much money you have.
@jml9550
@jml9550 Жыл бұрын
@@antionneanderson9721 exactly but my family know how many houses I got and job I have. But that doesn’t mean I hand out money. Unless they are disabled, they can work two job 12 hours a day. They won’t starve.
@sblijheid
@sblijheid Жыл бұрын
@Antionne Anderson You don't have to tell them. If they know what job you do or where you live, they can do the math.
@Mr_Fairdale
@Mr_Fairdale Жыл бұрын
When my family used to ask me for money I started to refer them to my “financial advisor.” They don’t ask me for money anymore. I don’t hear from them much either lol
@austintomkewitz3981
@austintomkewitz3981 Жыл бұрын
Yeah just write them a letter of recommendation with an affiliate link hahahaha
@michelarosier1918
@michelarosier1918 Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@katiejon17
@katiejon17 Жыл бұрын
This is so sad. My older brother is single and without children and *very* well off (and he works his tail off as well!). I’m married with children, and we successfully live on my husband’s teaching salary (although my 70 year old father lives with us so he does help). I cannot imagine feeling that my brother’s money is mine to access. I love my brother so much, no amount of money is worth putting him in a difficult situation (and we don’t need it anyway because we purposefully live within our means).
@annasimons389
@annasimons389 Жыл бұрын
@@katiejon17 you've got a very level head.
@tande0822
@tande0822 Ай бұрын
Sounds Familiar
@anthonys.8569
@anthonys.8569 Жыл бұрын
Agree with this take. Dont loan her the money. Give it if you can but only pay what she owes directly. And you need to see financial improvements first.
@andronickmartusheff4036
@andronickmartusheff4036 Жыл бұрын
completely agree. she never gets the money, you pay in checks to whoever she owes money to
@TheMarshalOfLeague
@TheMarshalOfLeague Жыл бұрын
I disagree with Dave on many things especially on politics. But he's spot on here 100%.
@haeshaw
@haeshaw Жыл бұрын
Uuu u uguhy
@georgewagner7787
@georgewagner7787 Жыл бұрын
Just say no. My aunt and uncle tried to borrow 5k from my widowed mother because she already sold and was in assisted living. They had a 900k house but no money management skills. We put a stop to it.
@jml9550
@jml9550 Жыл бұрын
I wouldn’t give her a dime. They can sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.
@RogerPack
@RogerPack Жыл бұрын
"Borrow" it...right...
@karlabritfeld7104
@karlabritfeld7104 Жыл бұрын
Family. Users.
@georgewagner7787
@georgewagner7787 4 ай бұрын
They didn't sell. Aunt worked until 80 and both moved to heaven.
@user-gj1pq5zm4l
@user-gj1pq5zm4l 24 күн бұрын
@@georgewagner7787🤣 You’re “ assuming” they moved to heaven. Unscrupulous people like that might have been moved to a much hotter place! 😂
@dtom1145
@dtom1145 Жыл бұрын
You either just give it away with no expectation of ever seeing it again or just say no.
@rebeccachambers419
@rebeccachambers419 Жыл бұрын
I have learned to tell my family that I can’t loan money anymore but I will set them up a budget and show them how to get out of debt.
@missj5564
@missj5564 Жыл бұрын
I have said that and some get offended. I am still not loaning and giving money especeially to the ones that refuse to get a better job or work full time.
@Bob-yh7ir
@Bob-yh7ir Жыл бұрын
Yep. No handouts to family. They just become leeches once you put a crutch under them so instead they don't learn to walk on their own feet.
@charlesg7926
@charlesg7926 Жыл бұрын
@@missj5564 and I’m all about having fun, and excitement… I’ll drink w/ friends sometimes, I like adventures & scuba diving… but you GOTTA LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS and STAY HEALTHY!
@rebeccachambers419
@rebeccachambers419 Жыл бұрын
@@missj5564 Oh yes. There will be those who get offended. I just say “ I’m sorry. Are you mad at me because I won’t give you MY money?”
@carolverdin6391
@carolverdin6391 Жыл бұрын
I also offer help set up a budget with them and when one family member did that, I knew they were serious. When others didnt they simply asked other family members who ena less the bad behavior...
@David-sc2ir
@David-sc2ir Жыл бұрын
I remember something Ann Landers said in a column years ago and I've stuck by it. Never loan money, if you can afford it then give it as a gift and if you receive it back then you accept it as a gift. Good advice!
@TheRoeshow0324
@TheRoeshow0324 Жыл бұрын
Never lend money to family. You give a 1 time gift. That’s it. And never speak of it
@av8tor261
@av8tor261 Жыл бұрын
I get off the hook by telling everyone (especially family), "If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm bust."
@SarahR2D2
@SarahR2D2 Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@az21bob666
@az21bob666 Жыл бұрын
How do rich people say that. Bill gates get ask for money and he like I broke
@Cookieboy70
@Cookieboy70 Жыл бұрын
That seems a bit hard especially for family, unless you are hiding your lifestyle from them.
@canadianjatti
@canadianjatti Жыл бұрын
Wouldn't work for me. everyone knows I earn a lot and spend very little LOL so I always have money.
@robertbell525
@robertbell525 7 ай бұрын
If they see your big house and fancy car just say you see all this? I have payments! Ain't got no money, sorry!
@78town
@78town Жыл бұрын
Great advice from Dave. The end goal of the Ramsey plan is to be “outrageously generous”. Do it out if love.
@ShaneRM878
@ShaneRM878 Жыл бұрын
Kevin O’Leary has a great answer to this: I will give you the money on one condition: that you never ask me for money again
@marietaylor5174
@marietaylor5174 Жыл бұрын
That's not going to stop them from asking again.
@asucena5575
@asucena5575 Жыл бұрын
@@marietaylor5174 yes that’s true but now it’s easier to say no.
@charlesg7926
@charlesg7926 Жыл бұрын
@@marietaylor5174 Unfortunately human nature is different
@jimhandler1129
@jimhandler1129 Жыл бұрын
@@marietaylor5174 You just mention the one condition again.
@gmarie3053
@gmarie3053 4 ай бұрын
Easier to just say no
@LASKANDUDE
@LASKANDUDE Жыл бұрын
Up front she will agree to anything it takes to get your money. Afterwards she won’t follow through.
@King_TuTT
@King_TuTT Жыл бұрын
I just love it on how Dave demands to get into the persons business on where that money is going. I think its a great idea. Make it painful for the person if you are going to give them money by getting into their business. that way there is less chance they ever ask for money again. also giving the money directly to the bills, not the person.
@karlabritfeld7104
@karlabritfeld7104 Жыл бұрын
Yes
@melissasikhosana9573
@melissasikhosana9573 Жыл бұрын
@ Rob T exactly 💯 . I know of people who lie about being destitute just to get money from people / family members. Nope!! Ask them tons of questions & get in their business. If they make it a habit (constantly coming back) try teaching them how to budget their money. Cause some folks are ridiculous. I know people who are high earners but will be out here borrowing money from people who earn way less than them. I will never understand
@mmp495
@mmp495 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely! 💯
@randomutubr222
@randomutubr222 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, I loaned my brother 2k a few years ago. He still loves paycheck to paycheck and can’t pay me back. I basically told him not to worry about it and I don’t need it back (I make pretty good money and I’m not gonna lose sleep over 2k over my brother). My brother and I are very close and I’m okay with it. But if _you_ won’t be able to get over it and it’s going to cause a rift, then don’t do it. Basically I look at it as gambling. Only put in what you are willing to lose and hope for the best. I was fine never seeing that 2k again and helping out my brother. Your mileage may vary.
@erikhopkins9488
@erikhopkins9488 Жыл бұрын
you're a cool brother!
@daisy9910
@daisy9910 3 ай бұрын
Or sister @@erikhopkins9488
@Lil-Whiskies
@Lil-Whiskies Жыл бұрын
Someone saying no to you can be freeing. The finality of that answer forces you to step up and take control of your life.
@freedomworks3976
@freedomworks3976 Жыл бұрын
I’m not a bank so I don’t loan money. Conversation over.
@analogguy5548
@analogguy5548 Жыл бұрын
Most people don’t change - 20+ years ago I went through a brutal divorce; In order to avoid “lifetime alimony”, I gave my wife virtually all our assets. Today she is essentially broke, living in a trailer park and depending on our children for financial help. Two years ago she came to me asking to borrow money to pay medical bills, promising to repay me “as soon as I receive payment from a pending inheritance”. My head said no, my heart said let’s give her a chance. I paid a couple of substantial medical bills for her, said payments understood to be loans - For me the sum lent was easily affordable - a tiny percentage of my net worth. After learning that my ex had indeed received the expected inheritance, she informed me that she had no intention of repaying me as much as “one dime”. I was disappointed, but not surprised. 😁
@GDuncan8002
@GDuncan8002 3 ай бұрын
After giving her everything, and knowing how she is, your heart told you to give her some more? That's wild.
@Sin-D_
@Sin-D_ 3 ай бұрын
@@GDuncan8002 i can understand why. Probably bc many years had passed. And bc he’s always had a connection through their children as the kids grew up and became young adults. Therefore, his heart probably thought “why not help her?” But now she KNOWS that he will NEVER help her again. So she better hope it was worth it.
@PrexXyx
@PrexXyx 3 ай бұрын
I hope your children understand how big of a rat their mother is
@xchino0427
@xchino0427 3 ай бұрын
​@Sin-D_ 5 10 years will pass and chances she'll do it again and next time come of as desperate or convincing she will repay. Up to the guy how he would judge her again though
@Sin-D_
@Sin-D_ 3 ай бұрын
@@xchino0427 He wont do it again. I just said she better hope it was worth it bc he’ll never do it again by the sound of his comment.
@katiejon17
@katiejon17 Жыл бұрын
I would add that the caller and his wife need to be crystal clear that more money from them in the future is absolutely off the table, don’t even ask. Be clear with the sister that this is a “one time good deal”, but that when (or if) she is ever ready, you will pay for her to go through Financial Peace University. But this is the end of the road when it comes to money, otherwise she’s going to get a taste for brother’s wallet.
@kurts6741
@kurts6741 Жыл бұрын
You pick your friends, not your relatives.
@Sexy40baby1
@Sexy40baby1 Жыл бұрын
giving someone money to help them with their expenses when they don't make enough to cover their expenses each month will only keep them coming back for more money. they have to go out and make more money to be able to take care of themselves
@Howdy762
@Howdy762 Жыл бұрын
exactly.
@DougAlesUSA
@DougAlesUSA Жыл бұрын
Sort of like paying off student loans when there is no attempt to prevent the problem from reoccurring.
@realcheshirewags1965
@realcheshirewags1965 Жыл бұрын
I have a sister who never seems to have money. But everytime I give her the money, she ends up In debt again. It’s a vicious cycle
@elcheekoful
@elcheekoful Жыл бұрын
Don't loan her the money. Pay the attorney directly! That is fine, I think.
@stephengamber7000
@stephengamber7000 10 ай бұрын
Never loan more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift.
@mrbushlied7742
@mrbushlied7742 11 ай бұрын
My sister wanted to borrow $5K. I said no. We no longer communicate. That's fine with me.
@BOSTONROCKFAN5150
@BOSTONROCKFAN5150 Жыл бұрын
Money changes a family relationship into a business relationship. Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same if he does this. Bad idea
@front331
@front331 Жыл бұрын
Stay put. We're going to send you a copy of Dave's book The Total Money Makeover. Thank you for tuning in.
@alinatamashevich3354
@alinatamashevich3354 Жыл бұрын
@@front331 And, free tickets!
@COOLDUDERBALD
@COOLDUDERBALD Жыл бұрын
People just need to learn the word No. Oh you’re mad? You never want to speak to me ever again? Good, that’s your choice.
@PistacchioIceCreamSucks
@PistacchioIceCreamSucks 3 ай бұрын
This mans situation is a mirror to mine. My brother is likely the most irresponsible and angriest person I have ever known to this day. Consistently in debt. 2 failed marriages. Always asking for money; resenting those who do not help. The world owes him a living. He's the victim in this world and these are the hands he was dealt. He screwed me over at out of $1800 at a younger age, I never forgot! He eventually failed one of his marriages and had to move in with me; I let him move in but this time under certain conditions... "Sign this contract and pay me rent for simply living in my house" Oh how he despised me. Word... for... word... "I should be living here for free!". I kicked him out and haven't spoke to him for over a year. I plan to continue that until death.
@Nepthu
@Nepthu Жыл бұрын
This caller sounds haunted and sick over this. My parents always shamed my older brother who borrowed money, so the rest of us siblings viewed borrowing as shameful. None of us do it.
@endofquoterepeattheline7516
@endofquoterepeattheline7516 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, it’s really tough having all that money
@brad885
@brad885 Жыл бұрын
Right Dave. Pay the attorney not her.
@katysummer9418
@katysummer9418 4 ай бұрын
It goes by the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" sad but true. Lending money to family creates nothing but problems.
@dampierstucco5778
@dampierstucco5778 Жыл бұрын
Anyone else catch the part where the caller said that his sister had been through divorceS but I didn't hear where Dave & cohost brought up that fact. To me it's a very important point, one thing for a sibling to go through A divorce but this not being her first rodeo seems important especially given the rest of the call.
@garyclark6427
@garyclark6427 4 ай бұрын
I’m on board with what Dave says. Everyone needs a budget. It does not cost any money, and makes it possible to manage your money.
@johncameron4194
@johncameron4194 10 ай бұрын
Never loan family money. You will never see any of it back
@carlosbrito8147
@carlosbrito8147 Жыл бұрын
Both of my parents borrowed a lot of money from me when I was a lot younger and naive, unfortunately I never saw a dime back. If your friend or family loves you they would have never asked in the first place. Don't lend money out and cut out the people who are asking you, just say no and bye!
@texdevildog9174
@texdevildog9174 Жыл бұрын
I had a family member ask to borrow money. I gave them the money and said if you repay it ok, it you don't it is ok. They repaid it and told them to keep it for an emergency fund.
@jaaxoon
@jaaxoon 10 ай бұрын
I can’t imagine asking my siblings for money. Just wouldn’t do it. I want to be the “strong” one.
@OTOWN2STOCKTOWN
@OTOWN2STOCKTOWN Жыл бұрын
Co-host really doesn't have a clue what it is like to struggle with(out) money, yet makes it seem like knows everything about it
@J.Anita24
@J.Anita24 Жыл бұрын
Right lol
@emanmar70072
@emanmar70072 Жыл бұрын
Maybe she knows what it is like having people ask her dad for money and seeing how it impacted him once the family recovered. I also suspect that people have asked her for money too especially for people who know who she is and who her father is. Dave used to hide his net worth and finally acknowledged it in the past few years.
@wildbikerbill6530
@wildbikerbill6530 4 ай бұрын
My observation is most people have no idea what they spent the money on, have no budget, weekly or monthly, poor discipline regarding impulse purchases, just shock that it is all gone. I can remember starting work back in the 1980's and my co-workers being shocked that I had a fixed modest amount of cash I withdrew from the bank as my weekly allowance. By contrast, I had a co-worker who said "if there's anything left over at the end of the month, I feel like I must of missed out on something". And the hard cold fact is The Broke REFUSE TO LEARN until they are at that rock hard life changing moment when either they get their act together or things really fall apart. I don't think it's much different than treating an alcoholic.
@markb2007
@markb2007 Жыл бұрын
Not only do I not loan money but I don’t give it in situations like this. I have in the past and they come to expect it because they haven’t learned anything to change their behavior.
@Theguys1
@Theguys1 Жыл бұрын
If you can give it as a gift, go ahead. If not as a gift….don’t.
@thelimey351
@thelimey351 Жыл бұрын
I don't always agree with Dave Ramsey but this is brilliant advice.
@lovecats6856
@lovecats6856 Жыл бұрын
If you lend money, be prepared to consider it a gift. You will never be paid back.
@itchyisvegeta
@itchyisvegeta Жыл бұрын
I remember one of my sisters used to ask to borrow a hundred bucks all the time. Told her no every time, even though I felt guilty at first. Thank goodness I didn't have money to give her at the time, cause I was too nice enough to do it. The more she asked, the easier it got to say no.
@annasimons389
@annasimons389 Жыл бұрын
you can't give your own blood a hundred bucks?
@itchyisvegeta
@itchyisvegeta Жыл бұрын
@@annasimons389 Nope! Why would I? If I did, she would have expected it when she asked again, which may have turned her into the type of person this caller is calling about.
@annasimons389
@annasimons389 Жыл бұрын
@@itchyisvegeta dude not even once or twice and then you say no more? I can understand being hesitant about thousands of dollars... but a hundred bucks here and there? That's cold.
@derekd1510
@derekd1510 Жыл бұрын
@@annasimons389 No. Taking advantage of family and using them for money. That's cold.
@jimroscovius
@jimroscovius Жыл бұрын
We used to buy the ticket for my wife's mom to visit. Not all of the time, just once in a while. But she never asked. She has also never asked for money. If this lady needs food, buy some for her. But don't just give money.
@missj5564
@missj5564 Жыл бұрын
Tell her to get a loan from the bank. You already said she has no budget, you wiil not get the money back.
@robloxvids2233
@robloxvids2233 Жыл бұрын
Seriously, if a bank won't loan her money why would you? Banks are literally in business to loan money. Go to them.
@adaelmo8915
@adaelmo8915 3 ай бұрын
It blows my mind how people are comfortable asking to borrow money from family/friends
@southernequestrian
@southernequestrian Жыл бұрын
The only person who I ever lent money to is my mother when she was buying her retirement home. That was only because I knew when she got the money from the house she just sold was going to pay me back. It was a matter of a 24 hour time period or she would have lost that home that she now lives in.
@LoveLife-oo9cz
@LoveLife-oo9cz Жыл бұрын
That was so nice of you. When my in-laws purchased a house, the lender asked for the down payment and they couldn't come up with in their bank so they had to borrow from us. It was a thankless gesture from them after I wrote a check to them. They did pay back. Family and money never mix well together.
@susanmarie4891
@susanmarie4891 Жыл бұрын
I would give money to my family if they really needed it and I had it - family is family
@perryh.5306
@perryh.5306 Жыл бұрын
Right. ..My sister is my queen....and I give her whatever I can afford! I'd give her the world if I could!
@lilstink86
@lilstink86 Жыл бұрын
I would love to get John's reaction to this call. Seems like her money problems are just the tip of the iceberg. Walking beside someone like this could be excruciating without professional help from a therapist. You can hear the reluctance in his voice because he knows in a year from now it will be a repeat situation
@cathyandresiak1975
@cathyandresiak1975 Жыл бұрын
My parents never loaned us money, if we were in a jam they would give us money and trusted us to do the right thing with it and we always did!!
@Irene1208Lano
@Irene1208Lano Жыл бұрын
I agree. If you are a high earner don’t tell your family members.
@bethanyb4478
@bethanyb4478 Жыл бұрын
My family has a history of lending money among ourselves. It works for us, though, because we are all sane, stable people who set it up to be beneficial to both parties. The interest rate is set to be lower than a bank's lending rate, but higher than a savings account's. That way, the borrower saves money and the lender gets a little bonus.
@Bertuzz84
@Bertuzz84 Жыл бұрын
Yes it can work, that is my own experience as well. But from this show and peoples comments it appears to be rare.
@2023Red
@2023Red Жыл бұрын
I agree with Ramsey and his cohost. Do NOT lend her the cash. But help her by paying her bills directly providing she makes the observable changes in her behavior. Start by keeping rent current and utilities, then the lawyer but monitor the lawyer who might be a buffoon. Do not lame her ex husband because he is the dad for those children. But cooperate and get it done. But she has to cooperate. She will be unwilling as her ego will protect her against everyone.
@mikespain8655
@mikespain8655 Жыл бұрын
Well put Dave! I concur.
@DanielGarcia-zz9eg
@DanielGarcia-zz9eg Жыл бұрын
Family never pays back
@buckybarnes3803
@buckybarnes3803 Жыл бұрын
I have a buddy like this, falls under the enabling category because he never improves. For 5-10 years now. He looks towards family and friends he can mooch from and is always crying poor. So I don't enable
@bjthedjdutchdude1992
@bjthedjdutchdude1992 Жыл бұрын
I loaned my sister €2480 a few years ago. we made a monthly plan. I kept track of it. And she is now debt free.
@groofromtheup5719
@groofromtheup5719 Жыл бұрын
it really depends on the people. There are some family members I would loan to, but more I would not.
@nycdweller
@nycdweller Жыл бұрын
I just loaned my sister $8,000. If she pays me back, then great. If not, that is ok too. I love my sister & am very close to her!
@celpaz4584
@celpaz4584 Жыл бұрын
Very good advice!!!
@bettermetal8306
@bettermetal8306 10 ай бұрын
Never loan money to family or friends. If you are gonna give someone money don’t expect to get it back
@jasonk446
@jasonk446 4 ай бұрын
It's almost like you get punished for being financially responsible...friends and family want your money and make you feel guilty if you don't give it to them.
@lisadearing5960
@lisadearing5960 2 ай бұрын
I agree 100%! It’s wrong on so many levels. God forbid you ever hit the lottery! That’s when the real crazies come out of the woodwork!
@JackyHapy
@JackyHapy Жыл бұрын
Great advice 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@humilis42
@humilis42 3 ай бұрын
I lent my sister $500. She didn’t know that I gave it to her because I knew she couldn’t pay me back. She talked about paying me back that money for years. It was so annoying. The good thing about this scenario is that she can never come to me again for money because in her head, she owes me. Why have her think any different? 😂
@bernadinetinker3028
@bernadinetinker3028 3 ай бұрын
Relocation to cheaper housing may be a tremendous help.
@dummgelauft
@dummgelauft 4 ай бұрын
Don't give her the money. Pay her attorney, or her rent or another bill directly.
@tashanapink7688
@tashanapink7688 6 ай бұрын
This scenario could easily turn into you all funding her life and her brother becoming her unofficial second husband. She’s used to not having to do much so it may take a while for her mindset to catch up after the divorce is finalized.
@BusArch42
@BusArch42 4 ай бұрын
Yup. My MiL did this to my husband
@clarifyingquestions
@clarifyingquestions Жыл бұрын
Never lend money to people who ask. Also give or offer to give money to those who never ask.
@anttucc9646
@anttucc9646 Жыл бұрын
Lent a family member a five-figure sum a few years ago. They were supposed to make small monthly payments. Never received a dime back, and never heard a single word about repayment. I wish I had just made it a gift.
@ps-yk8su
@ps-yk8su Жыл бұрын
I wish you never loaned them anything
@tande0822
@tande0822 Ай бұрын
Don’t ever lend money to anyone if you can’t afford to live without it as there’s a chance you may not ever get it back!!
@ep1929
@ep1929 Жыл бұрын
DO NOT LEND MONEY TO ANYONE, they are coming to you for money because either.... They don't intend paying it back The bank won't touch them (they have history)
@alinatamashevich3354
@alinatamashevich3354 Жыл бұрын
BINGO
@bertgeneray5954
@bertgeneray5954 Жыл бұрын
Great advise.
@letsbefreeletsbefree7183
@letsbefreeletsbefree7183 Жыл бұрын
My brother asked for 1000 dollar loan from me I said i would never lend him money but I give him the money. In the end of the month he still paid it back to me even if I didnt want the money back. I dont know about you but for me my brother is always welcome to my house and can eat here sleep here he will never be homeless while im alive. Now hes thriving but no one now when life gives you a kick in the balls.
@LoveLife-oo9cz
@LoveLife-oo9cz Жыл бұрын
We loaned his sister money and never get paid back. Instead, she resented me for bringing it up. I'm tired with all the lies. Now the relationship is sour. I don't want to tell my parents I don't have a good relationship with his sister's family but I don't like them at all for all the entitlements. By the way, we paid a lot for her family including almost every time we go dinner today, they don't pick up their own tabs in a decade. We stopped paying for her family's meals and entertainment. I'm not even sure if I want to attend the Thanksgiving dinner this year or not. Probably not.
@Jane5720
@Jane5720 Жыл бұрын
Be done with that love life
@gunarssonbilly.
@gunarssonbilly. Жыл бұрын
If I didn't take risk I wouldn't have been this rich, Stock trading really pays when you get it right. working with adequate resources and accurate strategies is the key
@jk.5803
@jk.5803 Жыл бұрын
That's great just started watching videos on stock trading would love to get some insights into stocks
@elizabethrichard7133
@elizabethrichard7133 Жыл бұрын
I've been doing it all wrong for so long will appreciate any tips and recommendation
@philemon.
@philemon. Жыл бұрын
You must be indeed rich to give such testimony on stock
@gunarssonbilly.
@gunarssonbilly. Жыл бұрын
My nephew wanted a loan to go on vacation but I had to invest $23k for him on stock now he is happy
@johngebrial4835
@johngebrial4835 Жыл бұрын
I have found stock trading difficult, I will appreciate any help
@genxretiree
@genxretiree Жыл бұрын
Gifting it to family without the expectation of payback is one thing. Loaning money to family with the expectation of payback is another thing entirely...and staying 100 miles away from that is the way to go.
@lynnallen1315
@lynnallen1315 3 ай бұрын
Don't give her the money; pay the lawyer or the light bill or whatever.
@thomasokeefe3081
@thomasokeefe3081 Жыл бұрын
Don't do it!!!. If you do she will keep coming back and play on your emotions.
@ironjohn5914
@ironjohn5914 6 ай бұрын
After i made my first million i told my family i did it im at my first million this was 30 years ago and now that i have grown a lot more wealth i get asked for money on the monthly from family i need to stop loaning out money because now i feel im just being used for money...
@dv8mr226
@dv8mr226 4 күн бұрын
I did this same for both my sister and my son. Both were put on payment plans at nearly 0% interest. They still paid interest less than a bank, both paid the loans back entirely. They know I have a few million, but won’t “give them” the money, if they don’t pay it back, it will cause problems ( and I write it off as if it was a donation mentally and never give again). Both learned the family was more important, and understood if they paid back the loan, they could come back for another (my son did). So it’s depends, some people will see it as a hand out, some see it as a hand up. All depends on that person.
@ytr8989
@ytr8989 Жыл бұрын
There are a lot of remote (work at home jobs) she can find now. Some pay $20-$30 an hour.
@NovelNovelist
@NovelNovelist 4 ай бұрын
I get that there are good intentions here but...WOW, the advice is to way way overstep. Lending, or giving, someone money doesn't give someone the right to tell the other person how to live. It's her business where she lives and what she does for work. By all means, the caller is under no obligation to lend/give her money, but acting like by doing it he's entitled to stick his nose into her business is REALLY obnoxious. It's interesting because the advice to give and not lend is spot on because lending certainly could breed resentment based on the expectations associated...but um, the expectations/conditions being suggested here for the "gift" are WAY more intense and would likely breed much more resentment. Give people money without ANY strings attached, or don't give them the money at all.
@carolynthompson1895
@carolynthompson1895 4 ай бұрын
You can't be a crutch for your family. Love your family and provide financial advice. Help out if she needs food or shelter, but don't support the negative patterns.
@LoubinaA
@LoubinaA Жыл бұрын
I would never hesitate helping siblings during tough times - its interesting to see how other cultures handle these matters
@shabanaansari3545
@shabanaansari3545 9 ай бұрын
Same! I think we might be from a similar culture. Amazing how money is most important to these folks
@Yungwalt
@Yungwalt Жыл бұрын
“She makes money, but it all goes to bills, and living expenses” uhhh, welcome to life.. lol smh
@michaelloranger3681
@michaelloranger3681 Ай бұрын
Most people who need money like that. Don't pay it back or make excuses and getting any money is a pain and n the ass. Don't lend people.
@whitebroccoli694
@whitebroccoli694 Жыл бұрын
Makes me glad my sisters make more than me
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