My Sister Wants To Borrow $5,000!

[@kimberlyf.4130]

One of the best pieces of advice my Dad ever gave me was never give any money you expect to get back.

[@caroldorsett8170]

Exactly, exactly,exactly!!

[@stephengamber6233]

Yup! I agree. Never lend more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift anyway. And if they ask for more money, remind them of their earlier unpaid loan

[@sharons5714]

My sister “borrowed “ a lot of money from our mother, and now I am helping to support my mother

[@deborahblackvideoediting8697]

Oh my gosh, do you mean that your mother lent your sister so much money that it affected her retirement income? If so, that's terrible!

[@michelejohnson6459]

Mother should have had boundaries. No means no. It's ok if family doesn't speak to you. 🙄

[@BusArch42]

This is the problem with helping out family. My MiL will ask us for money and turn around and give money to someone else. It’s a endless pit

[@kschrop]

If you're a high earner, never brag to your family about what you make or will be making....

[@missj5564]

Exactly.

[@michelarosier1918]

I agree 💯. Keep to yourself.

[@jml9550]

But they do know that type of job I have and the average income and many house I own. Either way, I won’t give them a dime unless they are disabled and starving. If they are able to work, don’t expect my handout because they choose to be lazy.

[@gooserich3970]

You are correct…Learned that one the hard way

[@Howdy762]

my wife and i are both 24yo. were kinda learning this now.

[@maryanneviola752]

My dad always used to say "I don't borrow money, I don't lend money and I don't co-sign."

[@murdoch1717]

Such a wise man.

[@MuzicTunes-lk6np]

Smart!! 👍

[@donaldmcgee6334]

Facts

[@mr90210]

I've done two of those and I have had no problems.

[@murdoch1717]

@@mr90210 Do what works for you but heck no, I won't go.

[@d.taylor3760]

My brother wanted to borrow $5k from me so I asked for his wife's diamond engagement ring as collateral. I'd put it in my safe deposit box and they'd get it back when the last payment was made. Never heard back from him regarding borrowing any money after that.

[@Lakhesys]

Good idea!

[@dortheay7361]

That’s a great idea !

[@richardw3470]

And, was the ring worth $5K? Bet not. Which tells a lot.

[@Jeff-sp7bg]

That's pretty cold and slimy. Ew

[@maryshannon4444]

Great idea. It's a loan and when its paid give back the ring.

[@PhilipMarcYT]

I let my sister borrow 5k and she never paid back. Money and family don't mix.

[@PInk77W1]

My sis borrowed $1000. Off me and never paid me back. I didn’t even care. LoL It’s just gone.

[@marietaylor5174]

You probably knew deep down that that money was gone for good.

[@PhilipMarcYT]

@@marietaylor5174 yes, but I thought she'd be responsible.

[@annie4horses]

Same with friends.

[@gmarie3053]

Older family member took 600 from me when I was 16 and working in fast food 10 hours/week while at school. It was a lot at the time

[@richricogranada9647]

If the couple has 500K they should never tell anyone that-EVER!

[@deeznuts7061]

Hard to hide it if they are driving nice cars, live in nice house, hold good occupations, take vacations.

[@gmarie3053]

I do all these things and act broke. People assume I’m a bad spender with no savings and I let them 🤷‍♀️

[@kieferzenko]

You can do what you want, but I have heard Dave say pretending to be broke to avoid setting boundaries with friends and family is cowardly.

[@zesolodar]

i mean i dont care if my family knows what i have because my family isnt filled with entitled leaches

[@AndElite]

@@kieferzenkoagree, don’t live outside your budget but don’t go out there bragging about what you have. Hiding from your own family and friends is weird, just learn to say no.

[@88happiness]

I just finished paying off my sister. I appreciate the loan, and she was cool loaning it to me, but I never want to be there again. It didn't feel good to be there.

[@Carib6855]

Hope you started your emergency fund.

[@SemajRaff]

You should feel good knowing you took responsibility and saw fit to pay back. Plenty of siblings would have taken the money and acted like it didn’t happen and continue to get into a mess

[@aaunyea4799]

My sister just paid me back the last $800 she owed me from a 3k loan I gave her. She hates owing me money so she pays me back fast 😂 I'd never loan my brother money, because he'd never pay it back

[@kristinaadams1889]

I had to borrow from my brother in an emergency. I have paid back 63% in about 10 weeks. I never want to do this again so I started listening to Dave Ramsey stuff and reading his books in hopes to change how I manage my money.

[@ajossi]

I grew up poor and when I turned 18 I joined the military and have lived my entire adult life debt free. My family has not stopped begging for money my entire adult life. I rarely talk to them or visit because of it.

[@RavnerRavner]

You're such a good soul.

[@treelover1050]

YOU HAVE A GOOD HABIT OF LIVING DEBT FREE.

[@terri6584]

If you grew up poor it sounds like your family needs good knowledge Ex. Dave Ramsey’s program. Possibly, you can keep redirecting your family to D.Ramsey’s program & actually HELP your family. It sounds like the truly need to & would benefit from it. Never assume anything.

[@leisure057blank3]

I don’t blame you one bit.

[@nunyabidnes6010]

Suuuure

[@dreesaad6151]

I just tell people I'm broke. I had to cut ties because my sibling said I'm the reason he can't pay his bills because I didn't co-sign a $20k loan 🙄

[@bobrange4773]

How absurd! Honestly, I shook my head . . . the logic of a child. Pray God he comes to the realization how asinine that sounds.

[@d_all_in]

Good thing you didn't

[@NovatusRSGaming]

I borrowed money from my mother to help with closing costs on my first home. Was about $4000. I paid the agreed $150 every month, on time. Yet she still holds the loan over my head and tells my other family members about how she “had” to loan me $4k when I didn’t even ask for it….. money and family definitely do not mix.

[@moreiscomingeasy6710]

I'm so sorry for you. Parents do such things from the Heart. I'd raise the monthly amount, and get it over with as soon as possible

[@xoxrazzyxox]

Yeah that’s a long time to pay that off. I paid my mum back £7000 over seven months by pickling extra work for a while

[@Mac-pluto]

Terrible. Would never loan someone money and hold it over their head

[@wtech758]

Roughly 2 yrs to pay back $4k is poor tbh

[@jeannet7443]

@@Mac-pluto Not unless they refuse to pay it back, when they signed an agreement to do so.

[@David-sc2ir]

I remember something Ann Landers said in a column years ago and I've stuck by it. Never loan money, if you can afford it then give it as a gift and if you receive it back then you accept it as a gift. Good advice!

[@kwd57]

Just don't lend money, unless you don't expect to ever get it back.

[@nathanmitchell2827]

Yeah I learned that the hard way.

[@ivanvargas2425]

Exactly but people never learn

[@terriesmith2616]

Exactly. 💯💯💯 When I lent money to my siblings, in the back of my mind, I counted that money as gone and I'll never get it back. If my siblings paid me back, then great, but if they didn't, that's also fine by me because I've already accepted that I'll probably never get it back.

[@kennymartin379]

Ant that the truth

[@t6667778]

Aaaaaaa Men!!

[@Columbus1152]

Been there, done that, lessons learned. We've followed Dave's advice for years now, if we can't afford to give you the money, we don't have it. No loans!

[@georgewagner7787]

Just say no. My aunt and uncle tried to borrow 5k from my widowed mother because she already sold and was in assisted living. They had a 900k house but no money management skills. We put a stop to it.

[@jml9550]

I wouldn’t give her a dime. They can sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.

[@RogerPack]

"Borrow" it...right...

[@karlabritfeld7104]

Family. Users.

[@georgewagner7787]

They didn't sell. Aunt worked until 80 and both moved to heaven.

[@LovesLakes]

@@georgewagner7787🤣 You’re “ assuming” they moved to heaven. Unscrupulous people like that might have been moved to a much hotter place! 😂

[@juliah3230]

My parents always say if the bank won’t lend them the money neither should you. If you do be prepared to lose the money and damage the relationship

[@dtom1145]

You either just give it away with no expectation of ever seeing it again or just say no.

[@stephengamber6233]

Yup, my philosophy is Never lend more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift anyway. And if they ask for more money, remind them of their earlier unpaid loan

[@Lil-Whiskies]

Someone saying no to you can be freeing. The finality of that answer forces you to step up and take control of your life.

[@anthonys.8569]

Agree with this take. Dont loan her the money. Give it if you can but only pay what she owes directly. And you need to see financial improvements first.

[@andronickmartusheff4036]

completely agree. she never gets the money, you pay in checks to whoever she owes money to

[@TheMarshalOfLeague]

I disagree with Dave on many things especially on politics. But he's spot on here 100%.

[@haeshaw]

Uuu u uguhy

[@realcheshirewags1965]

I have a sister who never seems to have money. But everytime I give her the money, she ends up In debt again. It’s a vicious cycle

[@gracieferguson1653]

Yep ive got several of those family members. Always looking to borrow money. Still have a brother that owes me $2,500 from the early 2000’s. And, to this day, he’s still broke. Always is. Always. My new policy is….when I talk to family members and tree ask for a loan, just won’t talk to them again.

[@PistacchioIceCreamSucks]

This mans situation is a mirror to mine. My brother is likely the most irresponsible and angriest person I have ever known to this day. Consistently in debt. 2 failed marriages. Always asking for money; resenting those who do not help. The world owes him a living. He's the victim in this world and these are the hands he was dealt. He screwed me over at out of $1800 at a younger age, I never forgot! He eventually failed one of his marriages and had to move in with me; I let him move in but this time under certain conditions... "Sign this contract and pay me rent for simply living in my house" Oh how he despised me. Word... for... word... "I should be living here for free!". I kicked him out and haven't spoke to him for over a year. I plan to continue that until death.

[@chillaxin813]

I mean, you have to pay someone rent, right?

[@78town]

Great advice from Dave. The end goal of the Ramsey plan is to be “outrageously generous”. Do it out if love.

[@Mr_Fairdale]

When my family used to ask me for money I started to refer them to my “financial advisor.” They don’t ask me for money anymore. I don’t hear from them much either lol

[@austintomkewitz3981]

Yeah just write them a letter of recommendation with an affiliate link hahahaha

[@michelarosier1918]

🤣🤣🤣

[@katiejon17]

This is so sad. My older brother is single and without children and *very* well off (and he works his tail off as well!). I’m married with children, and we successfully live on my husband’s teaching salary (although my 70 year old father lives with us so he does help). I cannot imagine feeling that my brother’s money is mine to access. I love my brother so much, no amount of money is worth putting him in a difficult situation (and we don’t need it anyway because we purposefully live within our means).

[@annasimons389]

@@katiejon17 you've got a very level head.

[@tande0822]

Sounds Familiar

[@randomutubr222]

Yeah, I loaned my brother 2k a few years ago. He still loves paycheck to paycheck and can’t pay me back. I basically told him not to worry about it and I don’t need it back (I make pretty good money and I’m not gonna lose sleep over 2k over my brother). My brother and I are very close and I’m okay with it. But if _you_ won’t be able to get over it and it’s going to cause a rift, then don’t do it. Basically I look at it as gambling. Only put in what you are willing to lose and hope for the best. I was fine never seeing that 2k again and helping out my brother. Your mileage may vary.

[@erikhopkins9488]

you're a cool brother!

[@daisy9910]

Or sister @@erikhopkins9488

[@nancygamez7087]

You don't owe your sister anything because you are financially able.

[@rebeccachambers419]

I have learned to tell my family that I can’t loan money anymore but I will set them up a budget and show them how to get out of debt.

[@missj5564]

I have said that and some get offended. I am still not loaning and giving money especeially to the ones that refuse to get a better job or work full time.

[@Bob-yh7ir]

Yep. No handouts to family. They just become leeches once you put a crutch under them so instead they don't learn to walk on their own feet.

[@charlesg7926]

@@missj5564 and I’m all about having fun, and excitement… I’ll drink w/ friends sometimes, I like adventures & scuba diving… but you GOTTA LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS and STAY HEALTHY!

[@rebeccachambers419]

@@missj5564 Oh yes. There will be those who get offended. I just say “ I’m sorry. Are you mad at me because I won’t give you MY money?”

[@carolverdin6391]

I also offer help set up a budget with them and when one family member did that, I knew they were serious. When others didnt they simply asked other family members who ena less the bad behavior...

[@TheRoeshow0324]

Never lend money to family. You give a 1 time gift. That’s it. And never speak of it

[@Georgemorales5559]

I don’t lend anyone money I’ll buy them food if they are hungry

[@SusanMarie3]

Right - I’m buying groceries if the pantry’s bare and the kids are hungry

[@DD-sc9bu]

Am doing that now, though my human nature is looking at those carts thinking these are expensive bad food choices

[@rnt45t1]

Dude is swimming in money, and the sister knows it. This is how you stop talking to relatives for the rest of your life.

[@chukuemekaoje1015]

Agreed! And because of that, it's all but guaranteed that the sister is gonna throw a huge fit when the caller attempts to put strings on the money.... since "he has the money" and that "he should look out for family".

[@robloxvids2233]

The simpleist way to answer is with the fewest words possible: "No." The longer answer is "No, my money is for my children." Dave's answer is controlling and patronizing. Just say No.

[@antionneanderson9721]

You should never ever tell a person how much money you have.

[@jml9550]

@@antionneanderson9721 exactly but my family know how many houses I got and job I have. But that doesn’t mean I hand out money. Unless they are disabled, they can work two job 12 hours a day. They won’t starve.

[@sblijheid]

@Antionne Anderson You don't have to tell them. If they know what job you do or where you live, they can do the math.

[@deanjames1179]

Lent my sister £13k in total and never saw a penny back. I subsequently found out she had a gambling addiction. Lesson learnt

[@dummgelauft]

Don't give her the money. Pay her attorney, or her rent or another bill directly.

[@King_TuTT]

I just love it on how Dave demands to get into the persons business on where that money is going. I think its a great idea. Make it painful for the person if you are going to give them money by getting into their business. that way there is less chance they ever ask for money again. also giving the money directly to the bills, not the person.

[@karlabritfeld7104]

Yes

[@melissasikhosana9573]

@ Rob T exactly 💯 . I know of people who lie about being destitute just to get money from people / family members. Nope!! Ask them tons of questions & get in their business. If they make it a habit (constantly coming back) try teaching them how to budget their money. Cause some folks are ridiculous. I know people who are high earners but will be out here borrowing money from people who earn way less than them. I will never understand

[@mmp495]

Absolutely! 💯

[@stephengamber6233]

Never lend more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift anyway. And if they ask for more money, remind them of their earlier unpaid loan.

[@stephengamber7000]

Never loan more than you would give. So when they don't pay it back, it was always a gift.

[@LASKANDUDE]

Up front she will agree to anything it takes to get your money. Afterwards she won’t follow through.

[@av8tor261]

I get off the hook by telling everyone (especially family), "If I had the money I would give it to you but, I'm bust."

[@SarahR2D2]

🤣🤣🤣

[@stevemyopinion423]

How do rich people say that. Bill gates get ask for money and he like I broke

[@Cookieboy70]

That seems a bit hard especially for family, unless you are hiding your lifestyle from them.

[@canadianjatti]

Wouldn't work for me. everyone knows I earn a lot and spend very little LOL so I always have money.

[@AmandaHugenkiss2915]

If they see your big house and fancy car just say you see all this? I have payments! Ain't got no money, sorry!

[@garyclark6427]

I’m on board with what Dave says. Everyone needs a budget. It does not cost any money, and makes it possible to manage your money.

[@analogguy5548]

Most people don’t change - 20+ years ago I went through a brutal divorce; In order to avoid “lifetime alimony”, I gave my wife virtually all our assets. Today she is essentially broke, living in a trailer park and depending on our children for financial help. Two years ago she came to me asking to borrow money to pay medical bills, promising to repay me “as soon as I receive payment from a pending inheritance”. My head said no, my heart said let’s give her a chance. I paid a couple of substantial medical bills for her, said payments understood to be loans - For me the sum lent was easily affordable - a tiny percentage of my net worth. After learning that my ex had indeed received the expected inheritance, she informed me that she had no intention of repaying me as much as “one dime”. I was disappointed, but not surprised. 😁

[@GDuncan8002]

After giving her everything, and knowing how she is, your heart told you to give her some more? That's wild.

[@Sin-D_]

@@GDuncan8002 i can understand why. Probably bc many years had passed. And bc he’s always had a connection through their children as the kids grew up and became young adults. Therefore, his heart probably thought “why not help her?” But now she KNOWS that he will NEVER help her again. So she better hope it was worth it.

[@PrexXyx]

I hope your children understand how big of a rat their mother is

[@xchino0427]

​@Sin-D_ 5 10 years will pass and chances she'll do it again and next time come of as desperate or convincing she will repay. Up to the guy how he would judge her again though

[@Sin-D_]

@@xchino0427 He wont do it again. I just said she better hope it was worth it bc he’ll never do it again by the sound of his comment.

[@FearhandWinner]

Kevin O’Leary has a great answer to this: I will give you the money on one condition: that you never ask me for money again

[@marietaylor5174]

That's not going to stop them from asking again.

[@asucena5575]

@@marietaylor5174 yes that’s true but now it’s easier to say no.

[@charlesg7926]

@@marietaylor5174 Unfortunately human nature is different

[@jimhandler1129]

@@marietaylor5174 You just mention the one condition again.

[@gmarie3053]

Easier to just say no

[@Irene1208Lano]

I agree. If you are a high earner don’t tell your family members.

[@mrbushlied7742]

My sister wanted to borrow $5K. I said no. We no longer communicate. That's fine with me.

[@jasonk446]

It's almost like you get punished for being financially responsible...friends and family want your money and make you feel guilty if you don't give it to them.

[@lisadearing5960]

I agree 100%! It’s wrong on so many levels. God forbid you ever hit the lottery! That’s when the real crazies come out of the woodwork!

[@COOLDUDERBALD]

People just need to learn the word No. Oh you’re mad? You never want to speak to me ever again? Good, that’s your choice.

[@johncameron4194]

Never loan family money. You will never see any of it back

[@dampierstucco5778]

Anyone else catch the part where the caller said that his sister had been through divorceS but I didn't hear where Dave & cohost brought up that fact. To me it's a very important point, one thing for a sibling to go through A divorce but this not being her first rodeo seems important especially given the rest of the call.

[@sunshine3bby]

I stopped loaning money out when people stopped paying me back. I love these people Too much to let money get in the way. ❤

[@tashinaking3198]

My grandmother always told me, "Don't loan money. If you can't afford to give it to them, you can't afford to help." This reasoning has saved me many hard conversations I've seen people have to have. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@elcheekoful]

Don't loan her the money. Pay the attorney directly! That is fine, I think.

[@kurts6741]

You pick your friends, not your relatives.

[@brad885]

Right Dave. Pay the attorney not her.

[@Nepthu]

This caller sounds haunted and sick over this. My parents always shamed my older brother who borrowed money, so the rest of us siblings viewed borrowing as shameful. None of us do it.

[@WeBeatMedicare6969]

Yeah, it’s really tough having all that money

[@nycdweller]

I just loaned my sister $8,000. If she pays me back, then great. If not, that is ok too. I love my sister & am very close to her!

[@BOSTONROCKFAN5150]

Money changes a family relationship into a business relationship. Thanksgiving dinner will never taste the same if he does this. Bad idea

[@Primitive_Code]

Stay put. We're going to send you a copy of Dave's book The Total Money Makeover. Thank you for tuning in.

[@alinatamashevich3354]

@@Primitive_Code And, free tickets!

[@jackpalczynski7884]

She doesn't make enough money to pay her daily expenses, never mind the past bills. How is $5,000 going to even help?

[@m.m.6336]

I was reluctant to do so but i did lend my sister money and she has been very good about paying me back with interest.

[@texdevildog9174]

I had a family member ask to borrow money. I gave them the money and said if you repay it ok, it you don't it is ok. They repaid it and told them to keep it for an emergency fund.

[@1tommyday]

I was buying a condo once and my mother told my brother about it. I received a $2400 check in the mail from my brother. I asked him what was it for and he said Im giving it to you for your condo. 17 years later that $2400 turned into a 10k loan that I never paid back. This along with other big reasons is why I dont speak to him anymore

[@dennisdupuis1567]

Wow. My brother helped me buy a condo by adding his name to the loan. I paid every cent and did him many favors over the years. When I sold the condo he claimed he’d put in 20k toward the purchase

[@carlosbrito8147]

Both of my parents borrowed a lot of money from me when I was a lot younger and naive, unfortunately I never saw a dime back. If your friend or family loves you they would have never asked in the first place. Don't lend money out and cut out the people who are asking you, just say no and bye!

[@lilstink86]

I would love to get John's reaction to this call. Seems like her money problems are just the tip of the iceberg. Walking beside someone like this could be excruciating without professional help from a therapist. You can hear the reluctance in his voice because he knows in a year from now it will be a repeat situation

[@bjthedjdutchdude1992]

I loaned my sister €2480 a few years ago. we made a monthly plan. I kept track of it. And she is now debt free.

[@groofromtheup5719]

it really depends on the people. There are some family members I would loan to, but more I would not.

[@cathyandresiak1975]

My parents never loaned us money, if we were in a jam they would give us money and trusted us to do the right thing with it and we always did!!

[@lynnallen1315]

Don't give her the money; pay the lawyer or the light bill or whatever.

[@itchyisvegeta]

I remember one of my sisters used to ask to borrow a hundred bucks all the time. Told her no every time, even though I felt guilty at first. Thank goodness I didn't have money to give her at the time, cause I was too nice enough to do it. The more she asked, the easier it got to say no.

[@annasimons389]

you can't give your own blood a hundred bucks?

[@itchyisvegeta]

@@annasimons389 Nope! Why would I? If I did, she would have expected it when she asked again, which may have turned her into the type of person this caller is calling about.

[@annasimons389]

@@itchyisvegeta dude not even once or twice and then you say no more? I can understand being hesitant about thousands of dollars... but a hundred bucks here and there? That's cold.

[@derekd1510]

@@annasimons389 No. Taking advantage of family and using them for money. That's cold.

[@jimroscovius]

We used to buy the ticket for my wife's mom to visit. Not all of the time, just once in a while. But she never asked. She has also never asked for money. If this lady needs food, buy some for her. But don't just give money.

[@katiejon17]

I would add that the caller and his wife need to be crystal clear that more money from them in the future is absolutely off the table, don’t even ask. Be clear with the sister that this is a “one time good deal”, but that when (or if) she is ever ready, you will pay for her to go through Financial Peace University. But this is the end of the road when it comes to money, otherwise she’s going to get a taste for brother’s wallet.

[@StenellaFr]

My brother supported me in my college years with 20k$ and I didn't paid him back after finishing college. He didn't say a word. After 4-5 years, I thought about giving him back would make sense because he has also a family that he needs to take care of. So I gave him back 20k, and he took it, not saying much.

[@GeorgiaMostly]

That’s lovely on both sides.

[@lovecats6856]

If you lend money, be prepared to consider it a gift. You will never be paid back.

[@southernequestrian]

The only person who I ever lent money to is my mother when she was buying her retirement home. That was only because I knew when she got the money from the house she just sold was going to pay me back. It was a matter of a 24 hour time period or she would have lost that home that she now lives in.

[@LoveLife-oo9cz]

That was so nice of you. When my in-laws purchased a house, the lender asked for the down payment and they couldn't come up with in their bank so they had to borrow from us. It was a thankless gesture from them after I wrote a check to them. They did pay back. Family and money never mix well together.

[@TheSupervillain316]

Never lend a friend or family member anything you wouldn't give them. That way, when it's not returned, it can't upset you.

[@markb2007]

Not only do I not loan money but I don’t give it in situations like this. I have in the past and they come to expect it because they haven’t learned anything to change their behavior.

[@bernadinetinker3028]

Relocation to cheaper housing may be a tremendous help.

[@Whateva67]

My big brother had a new business back in the 90s and needed some help,I lent him 17 thousand dollars, I never got it back. I don’t know what it is with family members.

[@Theguys1]

If you can give it as a gift, go ahead. If not as a gift….don’t.

[@user-xp9ry8yh9z]

This is the answer. He already knows she can't afford to pay a loan. There is no need to even consider it a loan. If he doesn't want to give her the money, then just don't.

[@bethanyb4478]

My family has a history of lending money among ourselves. It works for us, though, because we are all sane, stable people who set it up to be beneficial to both parties. The interest rate is set to be lower than a bank's lending rate, but higher than a savings account's. That way, the borrower saves money and the lender gets a little bonus.

[@Bertuzz84]

Yes it can work, that is my own experience as well. But from this show and peoples comments it appears to be rare.

[@thelimey351]

I don't always agree with Dave Ramsey but this is brilliant advice.

[@2023Red]

I agree with Ramsey and his cohost. Do NOT lend her the cash. But help her by paying her bills directly providing she makes the observable changes in her behavior. Start by keeping rent current and utilities, then the lawyer but monitor the lawyer who might be a buffoon. Do not lame her ex husband because he is the dad for those children. But cooperate and get it done. But she has to cooperate. She will be unwilling as her ego will protect her against everyone.

[@JoeyNYSDnomad]

People should think of it this way, if they have no means to pay it back then its not worth lending. If they never held a job or have any assets, do not lend them anything.

[@buckybarnes3803]

I have a buddy like this, falls under the enabling category because he never improves. For 5-10 years now. He looks towards family and friends he can mooch from and is always crying poor. So I don't enable

[@bettermetal8306]

Never loan money to family or friends. If you are gonna give someone money don’t expect to get it back

[@tande0822]

Don’t ever lend money to anyone if you can’t afford to live without it as there’s a chance you may not ever get it back!!

[@anneangstadt1882]

In my family decades ago, an inheritance was distributed very unfairly with the bulk going to the "favorite" (who was also the executor) and the least to the sibling who had a family and needed it most. So the executor agreed to "loan" a substantial amount to the shortchanged one, and of course it was never repaid. If only they had been able to discuss the situation frankly and made a gift instead, recognizing the issue of fairness. The bad blood lasted until all passed.

[@joeking2850]

My sister needed to borrow $10,000 and I know I'm the last person she would ask . 10 seconds in, I told my wife to write the check no questions asked BUT under one condition. You tell me the payment plan(your decision) so we both know how and when it is to be repaid so there are no hard feelings. She agreed and I sent the check right away. Months later, asked what the payment plan was , she yelled "I'm working on it!" and "I told you that I'd pay you back!) She eventually paid me back but I NEVER got a payment plan. Not because of this but We are no longer on speaking terms.

[@missj5564]

Tell her to get a loan from the bank. You already said she has no budget, you wiil not get the money back.

[@robloxvids2233]

Seriously, if a bank won't loan her money why would you? Banks are literally in business to loan money. Go to them.

[@carolynthompson1895]

You can't be a crutch for your family. Love your family and provide financial advice. Help out if she needs food or shelter, but don't support the negative patterns.

[@TallyDrake]

I would have said send me the lawyer's bill, I will pay that as a gift, but one time only. I don't see how any conditions are enforceable, they only become so if she asks for more money and hasn't done what was asked of her in the first instance. I know the sister will keep coming back asking for money if it's gifted to her, but they will just have to say no if they don't want to help.

[@ricardo9817]

When I let people borrow I just tell them don’t pay me back take it as a blessing

[@08baby25]

My husband makes this mistake of always tell people how much he makes🙄Then get surprised when people ask for money.

[@freedomworks3976]

I’m not a bank so I don’t loan money. Conversation over.

[@Usamamohamud]

I would give family money easily and feel happy giving it if it would help. I dont think id ever loan family money, expecially if i cant live with losing it

[@TORITHEGUMMYBEAR]

This is exactly why no one in my life knows how much I make and how much I have saved. I live like I'm a broke 23 year old.

[@quichawnabryant]

It’s not like it’s a moral failing to need $5000. I think most people need that amount of money. Life happens, and everyone doesn’t have it together. Things can get rough. If I had that situation, I would definitely give them the money. It’s not harming me. It’s benefiting them. It’s a win. Especially if it’s a one-off.

[@ep1929]

DO NOT LEND MONEY TO ANYONE, they are coming to you for money because either.... They don't intend paying it back The bank won't touch them (they have history)

[@alinatamashevich3354]

BINGO

[@genxretiree]

Gifting it to family without the expectation of payback is one thing. Loaning money to family with the expectation of payback is another thing entirely...and staying 100 miles away from that is the way to go.

[@PInk77W1]

I had a brother 10y older than me. He called me one time and asked to Borrow $3k. I said I don’t have no $3k. He said u can use your credit card? I said no.

[@MuzicTunes-lk6np]

Or you can use your credit card or even go to one of those Pay Day loans.

[@PInk77W1]

@@MuzicTunes-lk6np I slept in my car

[@xerxes8632]

The way I handled a coworker wanting to borrow money, was to tell him, I couldn't loan him money because he is a bad risk. He said wasn't a bad risk. I said, then get a loan from a bank. He said the bank won't loan him money. I replied, because you are a bad risk.

[@PInk77W1]

@@xerxes8632 Pretty much. I hate banks. But it’s all good

[@clarifyingquestions]

Never lend money to people who ask. Also give or offer to give money to those who never ask.

[@marietaylor5174]

First of all, I would not let family or friends know that I have money. Period.

[@WeBeatMedicare6969]

Kind of hard to hide a certain income level or living situation

[@jdogsenior5886]

My dad gave me a good piece of advice when I was a kid when a coworker asked him for $50. He told me that if you are ok with losing it, lend it accepting the fact you will never get it back. If they give you the money back then you know they can be trusted, if they don't then they can't. This situation is with family and alot more money, but in their financial situation I think they should give the money expecting to not see it again.

[@nodramamomma2777]

Give freely or dont givevat all..

[@thomasmazsa606]

He could afford to help her out

[@user-mv9tt4st9k]

Yes he could. She could also see his prosperity as a revolving line of credit. The bigger picture is that givingher the money will not help her. Offering to pay her utilities or go to the grocery store with her and pay for her groceries might be more of a help, however, experience tells that most people want the cash to do whatever with. 🙄

[@Mike137dd-v4r]

A good ending story about loaning money - Long before I met my wife, back when she was a struggling single mom, she loaned a friend $1,200 to help her with her mortgage, bills... After 20+ years she had never asked her friend for the money nor did her friend offer to pay back. One day her friend called and wanted to get together for lunch. They had a nice lunch and before they went their separate ways afterward, her friend handed her a card and told her to open it when she got home. It was a heartfelt letter thanking my wife for her help long ago when she was about to lose her house. With the letter there was a check for $5,000. That was several years ago, and my wife still has the check. We're pretty well off. The sincere thank you, and knowing her friend is OK is good enough with her.