My Son Got His Girlfriend Pregnant (How Do I Support Them?)

My Son Got His Girlfriend Pregnant (How Do I Support Them?)
Next Steps
📞 Ask John a question! Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or click here: www.ramseysolutions.com/shows/the-dr-john-delony-show/ask-a-question
📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life: bit.ly/3EL5ubR
📝 Anxiety Test: bit.ly/460QXUp
📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future: bit.ly/47q7Skm
❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards: bit.ly/472lIKd
💭 John's Free Guided Meditation: bit.ly/3MAGpEV
❤️ Money & Marriage Event: ter.li/nr4s8f
Offers From Today's Sponsors
- 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp: bit.ly/3seoBCe
- 3 free months of Hallow: www.hallow.com/delony
- 25% off Thorne orders: www.thorne.com/u/delony
- Save up to $250 on the Eight Sleep Pod: eightsleep.com/delony
- 15% off your Apollo Neuro order: apolloneuro.com/pages/delony-lp?
- Save 20% on Organifi orders: protect-us.mimecast.com/s/WDCVCJ692nIQm8xyiVdjH2?domain=organifishop.com
Listen to More From Ramsey Network
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ter.li/3opzgn
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ter.li/iy4cj0
💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights ter.li/3opzgn
💰 George Kamel ter.li/9rrvlr
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ter.li/46pj7d
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ter.li/drmpbx
📈 EntreLeadership ter.li/ux0fyw
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolutions.com/company/policies/privacy-policy
X (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( johndelony/)

[@rebekaheager9518]

My aunt got pregnant at eighteen. She came home to her mom and dad, and told them, and her dad’s response was to take a deep breath and to say, “Well, I’ve always wanted to be a Grampa.” She still tears up when she tells that story. My aunt and uncle got married and have been married now for over thirty-five years, have a total of nine kids, and eighteen grandkids! Their oldest is now a pastor’s wife.

[@unbanaspects7963]

great story

[@ivonned32]

Like if being a pastor's wife is an accomplishment 😂 Bravo to the supporting parents and the lasting marriage of the couple whom started early!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@davisholman8149]

@@ivonned32 It is HARD to be a pastor’s wife. She must be bright, loving, & more organized & able to get a lot done because she has to be. It takes someone special to take on that ‘job’.✌🏼😎

[@mandypdx]

My mother was kicked down stairs 😢

[@TakeOffV05]

Sounds like my pops reaction, I didn’t tell them till the babt was due in 3 months for fear they’d take everything from me, exact opposite reaction, walked into her fam and mine and her and the ultrasound pics. Since then I’ve still been living at home with my parents, I’m 18 and the baby is 2. Mom and dad still together, we’re still together, we both have jobs and are making it work I promise yall. Thank you for being the person you are and for supporting people like us, in a world where everyone is supposed to be included I feel like teen parents are almost forgot about, planned pregnancy is amazing and so are pro lifers, Probobly the only reason we have stayed afloat.

[@lonelyrider606]

Becoming a father is easy, but being a dad is hard...

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Just contacted mine after 18 years to get his grandma’s number. My mom keeps telling me to call her and guilting me like I haven’t tried- (she’s given me the same number three times with one digit off each time in like 6 months..?3 maybe. I’m actively trying to block it out lmao) but he just got back to me. I’m calling her today. ❤️🫢 she’s the only reason my sister and I survived our childhood. It’s hard though. I don’t want read anything else he might say. I just want to tell my grandma that I love her and think of her often. -that I hope to be more like her ❤ I’m fairly certain my mom thinks I’m just going to badmouth her. I wouldn’t weigh grandma down with the details. lol it’s always light hearted conversation. Besides, I’m sure she knows enough.

[@thebiggerreality18]

That's a fact

[@JeromeProductions]

Yep. Goes beyond mere biology

[@Chet_24]

Same with becoming a mom

[@izzywox8246]

@@Chet_24I get what you’re saying, but child birth ain’t easy. Even for lazy, neglectful mothers

[@helenadosul]

This mom is a rockstar, you can tell she respects the couple. Peace and love to them all

[@rosamaundallen1035]

What does your comment even mean? When situations like that arise, it is what it is. The mother can’t do anything about it. The mother is too calm for me. She is not a rockstar. Apparently she didn’t do her job in warning her son about engaging in such behavior that caused this entire problem.

[@SaystheTruth3]

​@@rosamaundallen1035Exactly right! Education is everything.....

[@EduardoHernandez-vv8ey]

Definetly agree. Even though her expectations for her son are no longer attainable she is supportive and willing to help them in this new and unexpected season. I hear mercy and understanding in her voice. God bless her and her family.

[@TonyCox1351]

@@rosamaundallen1035I don’t think that’s very apparent. Are you saying that as long as a parent does their job, that it’s 100% guaranteed their teenage kids will use protection? Not the teens I grew up with lol

[@annereynolds66]

⁠@@TonyCox1351she actually said engaging in behavior, which could mean abstinence. However I believe parents can guide their children but doesn’t mean they will listen

[@GameChanger597]

Love how Dr. John told the college student to shout "Im having a baby" so they could all cheer for her. That moment of positivity probably changed the trajectory of her life forever.

[@eap1983]

That made me cry when he said that.

[@anita77771]

@@eap1983me too!

[@user-ec3rm9wr1n]

I would help 😄🤣🤣

[@aliciabratton3832]

I am 51 and still carry the shame of becoming pregnant at 17. Everyone made me feel shame. I had my baby and I was in love. She is 33 and has severe developmental disabilities and there is not ONE DAY I would trade being her mom. I take care of her- with joy- every day and will until I physically cannot. She is the light of my entire life. I do regret people sucking the joy out of that time of my life. Ive carried that cloud of shame long enough. My baby was and is wanted, through and through.

[@davisholman8149]

ALICIA - I will celebrate your sweet daughter. GOD WANTED HER HERE.😍

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

My sister was a teen mom and it worked out. She got her college degree and has been in law enforcement for 27 years. Her son has been married 11 years and has 3 daughters and his kids are awesome ❤

[@genxx2724]

And your sister will retire soon with a fabulous pension.

[@davisholman8149]

Tell your sister thank you! Had she made a different decision, that great son wouldn’t be here to add to our country w/3 precious daughters!

[@RealRickCox]

This is a hard situation... I wish I'd had someone to cheer for me when I found out I was expecting a baby with someone I wasn't married to. It was scary.

[@davisholman8149]

If I had known you, I would have stepped in to be a positive voice.✌🏼😎🇺🇸

[@abeal49]

there are crisis pregnancy facilities almost everywhere There is even an underground railway to help teenagers run away from home to escape being forced into an abortion. I'm not making this up; I was at a fundraiser for one of the crisis pregnancy centers and the young mom, her now-teenaged daughter, and the older couple who rescued her and took her across state lines to escape her parents who were going to force her to have an abortion, all took the stage. It's illegal to help a minor run away from home, but few parents want to go public and have the rescuers prosecuted. So it goes on.

[@GMAMEC]

It can be done. My parents had me when they were in college. They lived off of student loans, summer jobs, seasonal jobs, and limited family support. The more people told them that it wasn't possible, the harder they worked. They have been married for over 25 years.

[@abizar3660]

Gosh, I was a teen when I got pregnant, and I was so afraid to tell my parents. My mom didn't say much; however, she was with me through the entire process. She was my glue. My mom sadly passed last year from her battle to cancer. So young, sometimes I feel I'm not a good mom without her by my side. Im so blessed to have had the support my mother gave me. Never take it for granted, just be there for them. Years from now they will look back and be so grateful they had such a supportive family even though it wasn't what everyone had expected.

[@livealifeIRL]

How wonderful of your mom. So sorry for you that’s she’s gone x

[@davisholman8149]

Your mom gave you a great memory.😍

[@roseother8306]

How old is your baby now?

[@emmajones8590]

I was absolutely terrified of a pregnancy when I was a teen. I think my parents would have gone ballistic. There was a great deal of shame attatched in those days. I would probably have had to give it up for adoption. I went on the contraceptive pill, which I took very carefully, as soon as I got a boyfriend. And I stayed on it until I married and wanted a child 5 or 6 years later. There are way too many kids who intend to remain abstinent until marriage, but then make a slip up. These girls are usually the ones not using contraception as it was all unplanned and have the greatest risk of starting an unwanted pregnancy.

[@llanearango56]

She sounds like such a sweet and supportive mom ☺️ reminds me of my mom!

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I want to be that mom 🥹

[@rosamaundallen1035]

@@alwaysyouramandaI hope you would warn your child to not engage in such behavior that caused this situation.

[@italkgory99]

@@rosamaundallen1035by “behavior” you mean sex?

[@davisholman8149]

@@rosamaundallen1035 Of course. And I took my kids to church every Sunday where they were taught that also. Mistakes happen - and looking at a beautiful baby, you realize THAT is not the worse that can happen.

[@rosamaundallen1035]

@@davisholman8149 Right.

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

It can work, you got this. Once you fall in love with that baby, you'll support them however way you need to.

[@firefly9838]

Sus thats required but ok

[@TakeOffV05]

@@firefly9838clearly you don’t have kids and don’t know what ur talking about, I saw you comment under another video saying some bs too😭it was the one where the finance almost got kissed by his bsf.

[@TakeOffV05]

@@firefly9838you fall in love with the baby before it’s born, but some “parents” don’t love there kids, and that’s when you get abusive hosue holds, it’s not impossible for a parent to not want there child. It’s just unlikely

[@heatheranderson2618]

Wow this hit home, my husband and I got pregnant when I was 19, after only dating 4 months. We got married while I was pregnant and still have a wonderful marriage 8 year later now. We now have 2 children. The odds were definitely stacked against us. Both sets of our parents were supportive without being enabling. The mom on this call is a rockstar! Yes definitely sit down with your son and his girlfriend to go over realistic expenses. That is tremendously helpful!

[@amandalovestrey]

Same story here. I was also 19 and we are still in love and married 23 years later.

[@holdonC]

I was pregnant at 21 while attending college. My daughter was 2yrs old when I graduated with my BA degree. It is doable.

[@oc2538]

I agree, shame isn't going to help them. I hope the couple can make it. I don't know who will sacrifice what. The first year of a baby's life is hard, it's a huge learning curve. They will need childcare if they both go to school and work. Whose gonna watch the baby. Babies are all consuming and toddlers are so much work.

[@Jeff-gg9ox]

My wife and I were a little older but unexpectedly became parents our last year of college, some thoughts: - They should go to the courthouse and get married ASAP. Already doing married things anyways. - They will likely qualify for Medicaid and WIC. They need to do their due diligence and look into these programs. - We lived in the cheapest on-campus housing for couples. It was not glamorous but utilities (including internet) were covered and we didn’t have transportation costs. - John mentioned this, but our time was either spent in class, studying, or working. No more fun extracurriculars - It will be tough, but you can it make it work. It’s just for a season of life.

[@auemmjee]

Why exactly should they get married? You don't ever know if either of them are good people.

[@Cuntspiracy2.0]

@@auemmjee Because they created a family together; the responsible thing to do at this point is to solidify their union and go forward with the attitude of "We are building our family together; we are in this together" That would be the healthiest, most successful thing for them to do for themselves and that child. If you think that it's better they create this child, give it no family unit, and spend time away from said child dating, partying, engaging in possibly making more children with other people?? Then your brain is broken. To make the automatic assumption these are "bad" people, that really speaks as to how you view life and people; how you view yourself.

[@2okaycola]

Yep

[@2okaycola]

@@auemmjeeso the government doesn’t have a reason to attempt to ruin your life. Marriage is security for everyone but particularly if you are lower class. Sharing assets is part of adult life

[@Jeff-gg9ox]

@@auemmjeeThey could decide not to, but it will make things a lot more difficult. I would recommend trying to work things out

[@Wisconwiggy]

I remember when I was younger and had a surprise. I had hospital bills in collection and just a poor couple. I asked my dad for money he said "I could help you but I can't this is something you need to struggle, pay what you can pay make sure a roof is over both your heads I can't make problems disappear everyone goes through it you both are smart and it's just what you have to go through and you'll make it" I hated him for saying that like beyond hated him but I love him and it's one of the best things he ever did for me.

[@Essentialoils4ujess-weagle]

Currently my life. Daughter got pregnant her senior year of HS. The deal is as long as our daughter is in collage full time we'll 100% support her and our grand daughter. So far my daughter has stayed in college and has done very well! And we LOVE being grandparents. Once you meet that new grand-baby you'll feel such amazing love. The fact that the parents are young is going to feel like a minor issue when you look at that sweet little angle face.

[@patgorham4796]

When my husband and I were in his junior year, I became pregnant, I worked swing shift he had morning classes. He got his master's degree, we made it work. Reality there were a lot of other married students doing the same thing. We did not have any outside help, I worked full time. 😢 We did not have student loans, my husband had a partial scholarship, so after college no student loans to pay back. It can be done!

[@cyoohoos]

1) if they don’t get married she can become eligible for ALL sorts of govt resources. Pell grants, etc. 2) My parents always said, if you are prevented from experiencing the consequences of your actions you will repeat them. 3) the action is done. They are now ADULTS in every way. They need to figure this out.

[@genxx2724]

Government resources shield people from the consequences of their actions. And it’s at the expense of taxpayers. How do you reconcile this?

[@og666]

they probably should get married. they'll both get pell grants because they won't have to report their parent's income

[@lizamarie3472]

​@og666 exactly. Getting married will help each of them get Pell grants by no longer having to claim their parents' income when filling out the paperwork.

[@cyoohoos]

@@og666I won’t argue, but I can only say single mothers get govt resources. DECADES ago when I was a struggling student I knew ladies who would get pregnant for free tuition, govt housing, etc. once you get married…. Baxter Street, across from a major university had a public housing complex…

[@emilymccranie7073]

​@genxx2724 they probably pay taxes too. If not they will after they get their degrees Good lord

[@matthewbrandon931]

Just remember what a precious gift a child is. Hard to remember when you're changing diapers and losing sleep.

[@ivoryivory5424]

It’s kind of concerning that they think they both can still live in a dorm while having a baby. Makes it seem like they haven’t snapped into reality yet. Or they think someone else will take care of the baby. I don’t know but I pray they succeed and I pray for the babies well being 🙏

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Well when you have a mom (and John quite frankly) who aren't striking the serious tone this situation deserves, it's a little wonder why the kids think that. It's the saw reason they got pregnant in the first place. People say don't shams, but at least people understood the severity of their actions. This just makes it worse. They will not get the seriousness of it all and he will get his girlfriend pregnant again

[@cess4089]

It’s so possible though. My husband and I planned our first baby while we were still in college. We figured it out. He’s 15 and amazing. We did undergrad and grad school with 1, 2, and 3 kids. We did have help from family but we also worked hard together and it gave us a great foundation. We don’t have to be terrified of things being hard. Life is hard. Embrace it and use the difficulty to grow. And I’ll just say I’ve been so blessed because we did choose the more meaningful path.

[@Britty0189]

Thanks Dr Delony, I became pregnant with my first over Thanksgiving. Granted I’m in my early 30s and married, but the change is so terrifying to me. The unknown of what to expect, worried I’m going to fail being a mom. I never really been one to hold children, I’ve never changed a diaper. But some of your input definitely helps settles my nerves.

[@mariamaria1939]

Hi! I also wasnt that much into children before having my own. After I got pregnant I asked my friend (with one baby experience ) if she could stay at my place after I give birth and help me with baby care. But at the end I didn't need help at all. Everything came naturally. You will feel the needs of your child better than anyone. PS: breastfeeding helped a lot too.

[@ashleypiper2558]

First, congratulations! I’m currently pregnant too (#2) and due in may. I just wanted to say I know how nerve wracking being a first time mom can be but I promise, once your baby is here you’ll get the hang of things. It’s a learning curve but everything will fall into place. I didn’t have much experience around babies either with my first and I was totally clueless honestly. But she’s alive to tell the tale now at 10 years old! 😂 you’ll do great!

[@karenjones2234]

My youngest son and his girlfriend had my grandson the week of their second year at university. With all grandparents pulling together, My son got a 2:1 in Economics, and my daughter in law to be got a 1st in Psycholgy. My grandson is 2 now. My son works full time in a job he loves and she works part time. They're great parents my grandson is thriving.

[@neisci]

Are they married?

[@karenjones2234]

Engaged to be married.

[@carnivoreRon]

I sat my children down and told them I would Not raise a child they had out of wedlock. They waited until they were married.

[@texasrodeogirl3814]

I did the same thing with my only son. It was the early 90’s and I was divorced and working long hours. There was no way I could raise a child. A lot of parents are in this position. Sometimes adoption is the kindness option for the baby, sad to say.

[@carnivoreRon]

​@dtulip58I had a few moments.😊

[@carnivoreRon]

​@dtulip58I had a good moment or two.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

My mom did the same. Basically sait until you can afford it. That's the tone this conversation really should have taken with the son. A tone of seriousness. Since it didn't and everyone is against "shaming"...then you see the result and you can almost guarantee he will get his girlfriend pregnant again. All because nobody is installing in his the severity of thr situation and not explaining how his action affect others like his parents who won't be able to retire or grow old and care for themsleves for taking care of other people all the time.

[@emmajones8590]

Would you have raised it for them if they were married?

[@joshmurphy4754]

This was me at 19. I dropped out of college and started working. My girlfriend finished high school then college and became a teacher. I didn’t go back to college but worked hard and now have a great job making 6 figures. It wasn’t easy and we didn’t work out but my daughter who is now 22 is graduating from college in may and starting OT School in the fall. We needed lot of support from family especially in the early years but it all worked out. Great advice John

[@AndrewMansfield95]

I Succeeded in this situation...lots of humility and grace!

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

I wish this young couple and baby , all the best, God bless and protect ❤️

[@mirabella2154]

She is pretty calm considering the circumstances...😅

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I kind of imagine it a bit like the idea of a puppy. It’s no noo noo till you see that adorable face. How could you say no to that face-!?

[@SaystheTruth3]

Oh God no..... totally not the same! 😂 Do you have children?

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

Your actin like there 15 there in college there fine

[@monicavandeventer5429]

Children are a blessing regardless of how they are brought into the world. That child has been brought into the world, they just haven’t been born yet. I would probably be calm too.

[@mirabella2154]

@@xsgtxbigboy1655 They ARE in college. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@fire12731]

All the best. I hope everything works out for them.

[@lanirankin9471]

“I’ll be damned if I’m going to have another baby come into the world unwanted.” Preach Brother Delony!!!!

[@whitneyw.7919]

This was super great take and advice, Thank you dr. John!

[@bronwyn117]

John is so good at talking people through these difficult situations.

[@OopThereItIs77777]

She is going to be an amazing grandma. Her family will be just fine! ❤❤❤

[@melaniecharlson1182]

I love your answers! I’m now a fan.

[@millsykooksy4863]

This is really beautiful advice

[@kekejefferson9219]

Check with the school for help with an apt and day care. After delivery get on birth control and condoms.

[@nleem3361]

Great tip. The school services are normally fantastic.

[@pobsarducttapeproducts8763]

This is ridiculous. You conceive a child you get to keep it. Get a job, get up during the night, and be a man. You no longer matter only the child. All the best.

[@SaystheTruth3]

Totally agree!!

[@Dark_Souls_3]

100% correct

[@neededtobesaid4275]

Unfortunately, he has no choice. He gets to keep it unless she decides to have an "A".

[@genxx2724]

@@neededtobesaid4275 that’s not unfortunate.

[@og666]

what ghosts are you fighting? there was no mention of them not being responsible

[@abbytomkiewicz2232]

They need to think hard about how that baby will effect their life! It's not sunshine and rainbows. You need to leave school and get jobs to support that kiddo

[@cloudedcolour5329]

no you dont need to leave school , you can do both work and go to school since it will mean having the platform to get better paying jobs

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Also look how it will affect the caller. No retirement for her!

[@flowerpower3618]

Be grateful they are keeping the baby. What a blessing the baby will be to your family. I agree with him on the dorm thing. That is over. Sex has consequences. They are now adults, no more playing college coed. People have been having babies at 20 forever. He needs to get a job , go to school part time near the parents and man up. She needs to put her baby first , move back home , go to school near by and put her priorities on her baby.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Exactly. The seriousness of the situation has not been covered to the son. That's why he git his girlfriend pregnant to begin with. If it's not understood soon, then he wil do it again.

[@MessyBootz-ex6zl]

Love this - Never thought about it from this perspective to make sure the person to come into to world wanted an loved!!

[@trammietrapgorilla5011]

I just experienced this as a new father at 22. Having a mother and father who took me back into their home, and have helped me financially (and more) made my new family’s life so much better. Being a dad is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

[@jjr6929]

On the college degrees .... To get the degree from that school (applies everywhere) you need the first 60 credits or the last 30 credits to qualify. So they can easily move closer to either set of parents to make this work better by going to a local school with instate vs outta state tuition.

[@raedorin979]

I love that you asked people to do that. I have known some i was like 18 that you should never hear this news from a woman and without celebrating. She's already got enough negative feelings. Give her some good ones, it's no skin off your nose. A friend of mine confided her pregnancy to me at work when i was in my 20s and i squealed and bounced and hugged her, and asked to throw the baby shower before i even let her start saying negative things. Then i let her spill all her negative emotions and i hugged her and said "but you'll be such a lovely mama! Even though it's gonna be hard, you are so lovely, your baby is going to be so blessed in you". She told me later her dad told her to get an abortion but she didn't because of that one interaction. Now she's married to her boyfriend, he's making good money and they are soooo happy. She's still a part time barrista just to help their income and get a little mom adult time. And they have 3 kids. Her daughter is the most beautiful little girl.

[@emmoji927]

I worked with someone who was 17 and didn't know that she was pregnant until going to a regular doctor appointment and found out she was 6 months along (thought she was just gaining weight/missed her period because of stress). I ended up running into her again about 7 years later, was very pregnant and had 2 kids with her. "Remember when I was pregnant, well this is my daughter...." She ended up marrying her boyfriend and they had more kids together. 🥰🥰

[@lilolmecj]

Caller number one…I wish you could hook you up with my friend. Her daughter had a similar situation about 28 years ago. The baby is now working on her Master’s degree and has been a total joy. The young couple was so terrified, and there were probably many challenges, but even though expected she was their greatest gift.

[@KristenS-mu1oc]

This was me. They 100% need to move close to family, go to school only part-time at a community or online school and cash flow it, and get a job asap. Pile up as much money as possible before baby comes. Then when they’re on their feet, they can make choices to redirect their life path.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

Go sell insurance, kid! You will make it! Best of luck to this young family❤

[@genxx2724]

Good advice. There are many very prosperous insurance agents with no education.

[@emmajones8590]

You need to be a particular type of person to be a success in selling insurance or anything of that nature. Pushy, assertive, able to spin a good story, snake oil salesman type of person. A shy, introverted, easily stressed person with a lot of integrity, would be no good at that kind of work.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@emmajones8590 i did it for awhile and enjoyed it quite a bit. I stopped because the crazy hours. I am not pushy or a sales-y type at all, which is why I was pretty decent at it.

[@jamaicaninthekitchen4358]

The world say have sex,.but are you able to deal with the consequences of sex.Waiting does not kill anyone😮

[@ecclairmayo4153]

If you can't afford the consequences of the action, then you probably shouldn't do it.

[@emmajones8590]

A lot intend to wait, but end up not doing so. It is actually the type of girl who believes in abstince only as a method of birth control, who is most likely to fall pregnant before marriage, than her more calculating peer, who goes on the pill and carries a packet of condoms in her bag. If you can't be good, be careful.

[@angelclaire100]

This was such a great call. I was pregnant at 21, no college, the dad was a high school drop out. 22 years later we had 7 more babies after her, my husband is an electrician and taking college classes now, I’m able to stay home. We have an amazing life and the “baby” is about to finish college and start grad school. Not one moment of regret. ❤

[@2009Holleywood]

Before my daughter left for college I put her on birth control implant for this exact reason. I got pregnant with her brother in college and I didn't want the same for her. She a smart responsible young adult however young people make mistakes and sometimes you have to guard them from themselves.

[@kathybrown8026]

It is going to be way hard for this couple and hopefully even with that they can make it happen for the sake of this child. However these young people count too so they need to figure out if they are committed as a couple to bring this child into the world or that they will as parents work together to bring this child into the world and make sure they are loved and cared for. Either way it will be work and it is a beautiful opportunity to find out what you’re made of!

[@vivalabeauty33]

My parents had me in college. It worked out for them and me!

[@tigernotwoods914]

I would do everything in my power to convince abortion. Obviously you can’t force it but I would do everything to encourage it because it’s really the best case scenario in this situation.

[@emmajones8590]

So would I. An early termination followed by good contraception. Unfortunately that choice has been removed in a lot of American states. And if they waited until after the 1st trimester before telling anyone, it could be too late for that option. It sounds like they have decided to keep it, without really thinking it all through. It's a mess and a poor start for a child.

[@laurasephora2013]

unexpected like they don't know how babies happen

[@ecclairmayo4153]

😂😂I've always wondered why people are "shocked " when they get pregnant or get somewhere pregnant. There is no such thing as an "unexpected " pregnancy

[@anglophils645]

If these young people are not ready to be parents, they can always put the baby up for adoption. There are many established and devoted couples in their thirties, who very much desire to adopt a child, and are really ready to be parents.

[@Sigma_Wolverine]

They shouldn’t abandon their child cause they’d be inconvenienced. Life is about accepting the consequences of your actions.

[@emmajones8590]

Adoption is an incredibly unpopular choice these days. I can see why. You have to go through all the discomfort, pain, inconvenience, expense and health risks involved in a pregnancy and delivery and have no child at the end of it. It is a situation very like that of a stillbirth and is usually incredibly traumatic and grief inducing for the mother. Where I live in the Netherlands, there are about 30.000 abortions a year and only about 15 domestic adoptions. There are also about 100 international adoptions, but the process is incredibly unpopular in other countries as well, so very few children become available. There are also some special situations such as surrogacy, or adoption by gay couples, where the pregnancy was planned. I can't find the stats on that. And as for the 'established and devoted couples in their thirties' who would like to take over someone else's child but none is available, too bad. They can foster, adopt a special needs child or an older child, try their luck abroad, become a devoted auntie and uncle or for my part, get a dog. Nobody should be forced to act as an incubater for an infertile or otherwise needy couple, that just happens to have a lot more money.

[@abeal49]

"The apartment is going to cost X." Have you ever taken a serious look about how much it costs to live in a dorm???? I was living in the dorm with 2 roommates in a triple. When we calculated how much that single room with the bathroom down the hall was costing us, plus the dining hall fees, we all moved off campus and prepared our own meals. Dorm life is a total rip-off. They gouge the students

[@sierrasantel5792]

I got pregnant in college, I was a sophomore. The last two years of college my husband and I alternated days we had classes (I went on Tuesday Thursday my husband went MWF so we didn’t have to pay for daycare the first year) I worked on the weekends, my husband was in the guard and worked summer jobs. We rented an 800sf house right down the road from our college campus. My husband went on to graduate school and did ROTC while I finished my undergrad and then I worked for a year while he finished grad school. Once he graduated he commissioned and we all moved to Georgia, gave birth to our second child within a month of being there. We have never wanted for anything since we both finished school! It can be done. I wish I would have worked part time at my son’s daycare when he started going so that it would have been discounted! Our parents were so supportive of us. They always encouraged us to stay in school and would treat us to dinners out when we were absolutely broke.

[@mooneyes2833]

A baby! What a celebration!

[@GameChanger597]

Agreed! No matter the age or prior plans, a baby is never an accident or a mistake. The pregnancy may be a surprise to us but never a surprise to God ❤

[@marilynbrodeur8354]

My parents had me intentionally in college. They managed an apartment complex and my dad had a paper route. They took turns with class schedules to take care of me. One of my earliest memories was standing next to my mom in her graduation gown. It may not be the vision you or your son had. Parenting in undergrad is definitely possible.

[@devadii24]

At least they are keeping the baby and mom sounds encouraging ❤ It will be a huge change for them but can work out if they stay focused on loving eachother and the baby and finishing their education…..it is not the worst thing that could happen… I’d rather my kids keep the baby than have an abortion 😢

[@matthewmatthew3955]

They dont need ur help. They are adults. People been having babies forever

[@marynorth7988]

Worn that T shirt....Wasn't well pleased when my daughter told me a baby was on the way........ Get over it because my grand daughter has brought us GREAT joy . Keep on loving..... bit of cash now and then never went amiss ! Have fun with that babe !!

[@SaystheTruth3]

Fun ?? Maybe for you as being a Grandmother...

[@sapphiya]

At this point, if the young woman decides to keep the baby, all the positive scenarios for success and supportive friends and family are what both young adults need to succeed at being loving and good adults and parents to their child, themselves, one another and their wider community. There are always obstacles. Success depends on optimism, faith, love and hope.

[@debbieminks6175]

I went through nursing school after my daughter was 3 months old. Then I got pregnant again and had our son right before I graduated. My husband was in paramedic school and if he didn't pass he would be fired from the Houston Fire department. It was super hard but we did it!! We had to figure it out and my mom helped when she could. I had to take a semester off but after my husband finished, I graduated when our daughter was 2 and our son was 6 months old. I got pregnant 2 months later. Haha we've owned 2 homes now. My kids are in lacrosse, gymnastics, hockey, soccer and dance plus private tutoring for our oldest (special needs). Nothing has been easy having 3 kids in 3 years that were completely unplanned but we did it!! Seeing how difficult things were, what we had to handle and got through it successfully makes me hopeful for so many others!!

[@emmajones8590]

3 unplanned pregnancies in 3 years, when you were both studying and working hard? That's wild. I am glad it all worked out in the end, but I can't understand why you didn't use birth control. Or did it fail? I knew someone who got pregnant twice with an iud in place and several women who got pregnant on the pill. But it is unusual.

[@sw6155]

Yes, do call again after meeting the other in-laws… 😜👍

[@trentslayton6300]

I had my baby at 18 my wife(now) was 17. I worked during the days and went to HVAC school at night. Now I’m a hvac tech and she stays home with our 2 1/2 year old. It is worth it in the end!

[@nancygross2196]

Very well said

[@Chickenfingers552]

Another option is military. They will pay for the service member to finish up school, or if they do 3 years of service and get out, they can still want to finish school the military will pay them to finish school. Like literally pay their rent to finish school in addition to paying for school in addition to whatever they qualify for disability.

[@paigenicholespeaks6172]

I got pregnant at 16. I was scared to tell my parents. When I did, I was surprised by their reaction. My dad cried. Lol. They were super supportive. My dad and my son was the best of friends. He would get him most nights when he cried and let me sleep. I finished high school and college and so did his father. Having a child may be a bit difficult when young but my son gave me the motivation to continue on my path. They'll be fine as long as they have the right support system.

[@xzBorn_]

Some people would kill for this absolutely amazing opportunity.

[@Kamingo170]

Yeah I definitely would "kill" to have a child while in college, while in debt, while figuring out my life, while starting a career. Are you mentally handicapped or just trolling?

[@JohannyVeigaviolin]

As my mom used to say “old enough to have sex, old enough to be a dad” 😅 with God helps you guys can do it otherwise no even a chance

[@anthill1510]

That`s a stupid saying. There is literally 13 year olds having sex. I am pretty sure they are not old enough to be dads or mums.

[@JohannyVeigaviolin]

@@anthill1510 so maybe they should not be having sex 😅

[@anthill1510]

@@JohannyVeigaviolin Yeah, I think that`s too young. But it doesn`t matter what anybody thinks, it still happens, so the saying is stupid.

[@JohannyVeigaviolin]

@@anthill1510 are you guys stupid? If you having sex of course you might get pregnant 😅

[@JohannyVeigaviolin]

@@anthill1510 sex is made for reproduction if they don't want to get pregnant don't do it

[@Zarih67]

Do you guys not have sex-ed in school? Do parents not teach about sex, std, pregnancy etc? Condoms, the pill combined rarely end up in a pregnancy.

[@OopThereItIs77777]

Rarely isn’t always. How do you know they didn’t use both? Exactly. You don’t. See yourself out

[@stuemler]

Thank you for lecturing college age adults who had consensual s3x through this chat. Sex Ed is taught, condoms are passed out. It sounds like these two decided to take their chances. Now they're preparing for the next. If they were immature when it began, this journey of responsibility will help them grow up a bit.

[@user-cg3gj5ux5r]

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW Walking through this now, this hit home hard.

[@CanadaHasFallen]

"unexpected pregnancy"

[@randompillow5146]

Who knew having unprotected sex could result in a baby? 🤯

[@kristinpruett7733]

​​@@randompillow5146my sister in law has 3 kids all a year apart. She was married and on a different birth control every time. Ya can't always assume there wasn't any. On the other hand if you are having sex then that always has to be an outcome possibility.

[@franziskani]

@@kristinpruett7733 If it failed 3 times she was using something incorrectly, or I suggest she felt the need to justify that she did not use contraception at all (and her partner did not either). Condoms, the pill, the shots, the IUD are fairly safe. A diaphragm needs to be updated after a pregnancy / giving birth, weight gain or loss. And it is not as safe. But not even a correctly placed diaphragm in the correct size does not fail 3 times in a row. Condoms have to be used always and correctly. If the couple "assumes" they know the fertile days (and only then they use contraception) - it is only a matter or time until she gets pregnant. It is highly, highly unlikely that safe methods (over 96 % fail 3 times in a row).

[@franziskani]

@@kristinpruett7733 Most likely she fell for the myth that a woman cannot get pregnant soon after giving birth or that _some_ breastfeeding will suppress ovulation. It is true that a woman that breastfeeds (no other food for the baby) does not ovulate (likely not an absolute, but pretty good protection). That she does not bleed does not mean anything, she can get pregnant again before that ever happens. But for that suppression of ovulating to work reliably she also needs to breastfeed during night. Time in between must not be too long (4 - 5 hours max). The evolutionary scenario: if the baby needs that much food with short break inbetween - then the baby would be malnourished if her resources go into growing the next child (or it harms the next child). If she partially used bottles (during the night), or if the child gets the first solid food - she cannot rely on that evolutionary protection anymore. As her and the example of many other woman prove.

[@kristinpruett7733]

@@franziskani lolol. Ummm nope. She even had the iud in place for one. They were not young and didn't want to be pregnant at that time. She just had the luck of the 3 percent fail rate every time. Her doctor said her husband had super sperm. Lol

[@HangNguyen-ih8rf]

That’s funny 😂 keep living in the dorm

[@jasmynmadison5984]

Ok. I thought I was the only one who heard that. WTH? How do they think that’s gonna work? 😂

[@ForensicsOnTheScene]

People forget you can go online and use KZbin videos to explain just about anything. Even if it's just part time. People do it all the time.

[@KS-cl8br]

be equal to all your kids, dont give him more than the other kids because he screwed up

[@Crew4Life]

Let them figure it out; they chose to do the deed before true commitment

[@reborka]

Please don’t have kids, you sound like the worst kind of parent

[@abeal49]

Going to college while pregnant, I decided, is a good idea. The work is sedentary, the schedule flexible, and nobody cares about your attendance, as long as you get the work done. They'll even let you reschedule exams. so it's an easy time to have a baby. I have been pregnant while a college student, and pregnant while working full time. It's a lot easier to have your babies while going to college. Once you start working full time, it's a struggle.

[@leahtv7778]

There's no excuse for an unplanned pregnancy. Conception is not a secret.

[@wasterdays]

i’m 19 and 4 weeks pregnant!! however I have a 6 bedroom house and my boyfriend works full time.

[@OtisFlint]

Way to ruin your life.

[@szatanowska]

Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉 it's the happiest time of your life! I wish I had baby younger, I'm having first baby now 20 years older than you, I wish I had that strength that you have at 19 ! Baby's only makes you happy it's blessing not ruin. It's best what can happen to you becoming a mom so beautiful experience

[@thorneto2742]

@@szatanowska Meanwhile, several of my friends have mothers who spent their life telling them that they ruined her life.

[@wasterdays]

@@OtisFlint i’m very happy actually!!! my life is just about to begin, i’ve struggled with anorexia for years and now i’m giving it all up to be a mother . have some f$cling respect.

[@wasterdays]

@@OtisFlint i would’ve been dead this year if it wasn’t for me getting pregnant, due to malnutrition I was 94lbs at 5’8… if anything was ruining my life it was that disorder

[@candyce2144]

And to think my mom yelled at me for 700 straight hours and refused to look me in the eyes for years.

[@stephaniegunesch]

He handled this great the only thing he forgot to say was how much she will love this baby! It’ll be worth it. Every family has stories like these- mine included and the baby is 20 now. Greatest joy of our lives.

[@nilsalmgren4492]

At least nobody is pretending to be a Christian in this one.

[@emmajones8590]

Yes, that is refreshing. Especially with a call to the Ramsey Institute. But I find Deloney a lot more sympathetic and positive than old Dave, who seems to be a religious nut case. Told his staff to 'pray covid away' during the pandemic, instead of following government advised precautions. Sacked a woman worker when she became pregnant when she wasn't married and another who came out as a lesbian.

[@nilsalmgren4492]

@@emmajones8590 I just do not care for the hypocrisy. COVID was going to run it's course and only kill off the old and sickly. Really was nothing for people of working age and younger.

[@emmajones8590]

At least it is usually possible these days to keep the baby after an unexpected pregnancy at a young age. I grew up in the 60s and 70s in Ireland. It was before good contraception was widely available and I knew quite a few girls who got pregnant unexpectedly. One got married at about 17 to an unwilling and resentful boy and the marriage was a complete disaster. She was a neighbour and would be seen all the time with bruises and black eyes until she left him and the house was sold. Another married at 19 to a student, who had to drop out of college as a result. I don't know how that went. One girl had rich parents and they were able to arrange for her fly out of the country for an abortion at a private clinic. It was a sobering experience for her. She had been a party girl with her own little flat and flat was sold and the parties stopped. She was about 18. I had a college friend about a decade later, girl of 20, who chose an abortion in England as well. It was legalized there by then. She kept the situation a strict secret from her parents. They were religious and would have been devastated if they knew. Another got pregnant and her boyfriend dumped her. She was more or less forced into having the child and giving it up for adoption. Her parents couldn't or wouldn't help, or she just thought it was best all round, but it was inevidably very traumatizing. That girl was the one I was sorriest for. Then there was a schoolfriend who was luckier, if you could call it luck. She fell pregnant at 15 or 16, no boyfriend in sight. She stayed living at home, continued school and her mother raised the grandchild. But her life was changed for ever. She had far less freedom than her childless teenaged peers, to just fool around, travel, party, study, have fun and just be a kid. She had to grow up way too soon. The most usual course in those days, was a shotgun marriage or a forced adoption after giving birth as an unmarried mother.

[@rochelle-xz8gl]

I would make sure my son got a DNA test to make sure the baby is his😊

[@Suzamini]

In law school, all the students who made law review had taken at least one year off sometime before law school. Real time off can be a benefit!

[@pobsarducttapeproducts8763]

If you have a family you should work. Like actually work. No more selling insurance.

[@franklincheney3653]

They are not starting a business, but a family. Time to get married, mature day by day, doing the math, making sacrifices, and having fun without spending money on extras. Marriage is the bottom line. If either one is not committed, it's time to say goodbye, and consider adoption, lessons learned.

[@emmajones8590]

Adoption is the very last option most women choose with an unexpected pregnancy. It is incredibly traumatizing. The abortion clinics aren't so busy for nothing.

[@nowandthennn]

⁠@@emmajones8590 adoption may be traumatic short term , but abortion is traumatizing long term the older you get the more you feel guilty , feel the loss . You sound really young and haven’t talked to older people that’s had abortions , especially on their death beds when they don’t feel forgiven and don’t know the afterlife. Now , I didn’t say she couldn’t be forgiven. Everyone knows abortion is wrong somewhere deep in their soul . Even hunters won’t kill a pregnant mom or a mom with a baby or a bird that is nesting . Only humans kill their own babies and think it’s ok ,

[@jordanwilliams1546]

Lace them boots 🥾 up son and get to work. You entered Grown Man Territory

[@pamforrester844]

She's not disabled so she needs to get to work also, hoping for the best future for them

[@kencurtis2403]

I feel for her. There is only so much you can do to protect your kids against their own bad choices. My son just married a woman that I would have never picked for him. She’s snarky and immature. Her parents were never married, her dad went to prison for meth, and her mom is a former alcoholic who is now a pothead. Not the grandparents I would have picked for my grandchild. Here’s hoping I can keep my future grandchildren from bad influences.

[@neisci]

It's not your job to keep your grandchildren away from bad influences, that's their parents job. You can only influence their environment at your home.

[@Cyb3rSynaps3]

Supporting them doesn’t mean you have to absolve him of responsibility.

[@liverfailure1597]

Based

[@bc2647]

You should be so excited 😊😊😊😊

[@miketheyunggod2534]

No pregnancy is unexpected. This guy is a dope.

[@Saveahorse82]

Her got her pregnant? I guess she played no part in it lol.

[@bc2647]

I disagree...lets bring Power into the conversation....Tony Robbins

[@genxx2724]

Catholic Church administrator-psychologist on this topic: “ Life is messy.” The problem is that we pretend it’s not supposed to be.

[@ryansack5198]

Kids having kids

[@lexir7504]

college students are kids?? quit infantilizing adults what the hell

[@stuemler]

College age adults.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Man, I was 10 when my mom told me she’d kick me out if I ever got pregnant. 💀

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I’m realizing at 32 that my mom didn’t ever want me to leave her**. 🤮

[@mooneyes2833]

My mom did kick me out when I got pregnant... looking back...thank God she did, I'm better for it

[@genxx2724]

That let you know messing up was not an option.

[@SaystheTruth3]

Same here! Years later having 2 children ❤ I totally get why she said that...

[@mirabella2154]

As she should...