🏢 My (Theoretical) Adventure While "Buying a MALL!" (Whisper) 🏢

NOTE: The story that may or may not have happened begins around the 9:45 mark.
This is a bit of storytime relating to my most recent April Fool's Day video. I'll talk about the video itself first, and then we'll get into the alleged adventure that took place behind the scenes. Any story that has me saying "Oh sh!t I'm goin' to JAIL!" qualifies as an adventure in my book.
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[@meliadiamond7265]

I’ve lost all concept of time at this point and didn’t realize it was April fools when you posted that video so I thought it was real

[@cjwalthall11]

Same here

[@sebastianmcphee8590]

Same

[@jacob2813]

You are literally the most relatable and iconic person. Period.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Thank you! :)

[@UncleMarco]

PERIODTTTTT

[@guillaumenadeau]

yaaas

[@angelagaming3659]

I fell for your prank 😅 I was so confused and the comments didn't give it away so I was confused but it was a good April fools joke 😂😂😊

[@user-su9py5qm6f]

Glad I'm not the only one. I believed it up until the lotto tickets😂

[@angelagaming3659]

@@user-su9py5qm6f Even with the lotto I was wondering if she was serious but she had a straight face so I thought She is serious 😅😅

[@grammaticalchainsaw7318]

She really DID have me in the video for a second. When she showed up in the business outfit I was so shook

[@SamaraMoores]

“It’s for my brother he moved to Japan” I CANT WITH YOU, THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGH!

[@pointydogs35]

Japan is lacking in crusty old malls and he is homesick 😂😂

[@kate1194]

Omg, I legit thought you'd lost it when you said the lottery tickets (you hadn't scratched) were going to pay for renovations. 😂

[@daniellea1946]

Kate LeBlanc I KNOW SAME i was like 🤔😧🤭

[@laurenlutzel1280]

SAME!! I absolutely lost it when I saw that

[@vivianna8046]

me too!! i was like "yeah she really went crazy this time lmao"

[@chloemoyer420]

Girl I searched and searched for comments about it being an April fools joke! When I saw there was none I didn’t even bother saying anything because I didn’t want to ruin it for others haha! I believed it until I saw when it was posted, nice one!!!

[@fiorellaberti7718]

There was mine!!😂

[@MegaMagicGoat]

@@fiorellaberti7718 and mine haha

[@youparejo]

And mine lool

[@hanh9982]

Mine

[@robochels]

I was the jerk who posted a few times under some peoples comments that's it was a april fools joke. I didnt say it flat out but said to check out the date (and she also said it was a joke at the end lol)

[@myrazumba]

hey. i had a really bad day at work today. there was this lady in drive thru who was absolutely going mad and yelling at me for missing one cent. it took forever to come to the window because she dropped one penny and then ranted that she gave me changed and should get one dollar. i really don’t know what the whole thing was. i was just hazed. i just got so stressed out and started crying and walked away to the bathroom. i then got sent home and was just sad that this lady was the last of this built up anger, sadness, etc that i had with school, work, and home. i know this is unrelated but i needed to rant. thank you Mary for calming me down.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. I've worked in retail, and I know that even under normal circumstances, customers can be real jerks sometimes, taking out their stress and anger on the most convenient target. I'd give you a big hug if I could! I really hope tomorrow is a better day for you! ❤️❤️

[@AG-kr1my]

Everyone should be required to work retail or restaurant industry so they learn how to treat people with understanding and compassion! Hang in there friend!! ❤❤☺️🌈🌞

[@HeySarahGurl]

I remember my first job was at McDonalds and I gave this lady the wrong amount of change, I accidentally gave her one five instead of a ten back, I was just nervous and it was a mistake. I told her how sorry I was and I said I can’t open it without my manager and it’ll just be a moment and I’ll throw in an extra fry for making her wait. I just wanted to be like by everyone but this lady really broke me my first day. She started screaming and yelling and everyone started looking and she said I should be in the bathroom mopping up vomit. I was so embarrassed I just broke down in front of everyone. I didn’t get sent home but I sort of wish in that moment I was, but my manager did tell her to get out and she wasn’t allowed to come back. I’m so sorry that happened to you, that’s rough especially with how crazy things are nowadays. It sounds cheesy but tomorrow is always better. Sending you big hugs ❤️

[@Sarah_Pratt]

myra zumba My heart breaks for you! The service industry brings out the worst and best of humanity. For every 10 customers the one that is nasty is usually remembered, right? At least that’s what I dealt with in working customer service at two different retail chains. Hang in there❤️

[@orntelove]

One of my first jobs something similar happened and it triggered me really bad. He also made me cry. I still think about him 15 years later but more like I feel bad dor what his life must have been like to treat someone like that.

[@laurenlutzel1280]

He was definitely being shady. The flip phone, asking who sent you, asking your business there. He’s doing some shady business in that mall and is tryna save his own behind!!

[@lilly3920]

Mary: I'm going to jail!!!!!! Also Mary: Who is gonna pick up my son from school??!!!! Mary, you kill me.

[@childof83]

Mary you should Have told him you were with the pipline LOL

[@Memorare87]

BRILLIANT! And make a "tipping of the hat" motion and say, "Have a nice day, Sir."

[@darrazo5845]

Hahahahaha

[@BabyBlue-um3li]

😂😂😂😂 yessss for real

[@malmal3892]

Hey Mary! On March 11th I had my first child, a beautiful little girl. For these last few weeks all of my spare time has been spent trying to learn how to care for her. It has definitely been a fun adventure, but I'm just now able to get back into a semi-normal routine, which includes watching your videos! I have definitely missed your videos! Now it's time to play catch up lol! Great Video!!!

[@NobodyUknow444]

I think this prank was the best prank I’ve seen on the internet so far 😂 I really thought you lost your mind an when you read the graffiti an was like “how sweet” I was like awe this woman is mad ahah then you pulled out the scratchers I lost it I couldn’t stop laughing but I was SO confused at the same time 😂 that was such a great prank very well thought out

[@vivianna8046]

me too!!

[@wiggbrig]

It took me ages to realise that it was a joke! I was thinking it was risky but figured that real life ASMR experiences are happening now and that you could probably make it happen. It twigged for me when you said that you maxed out your credit cards 💳! You would never!

[@kaitlintolbert8038]

I love the repeated “theoretically” and “hypothetically” for some reason it’s soo tingly. I love your sass Mary. It reminds me of my family and totally elevates my adoration of you and how effective your videos are for me. Thank you

[@rubenarielalvaradorodrigue4851]

Seriously, though. Are we all even watching your videos because of the relaxation or tingles anymore? Or have we become long-distance friends and we just want to know what’s up with our Southern Queen? 😂 😂

[@slugonrock5236]

I was honestly convinced you bought a mall and I was like "well, I didn't expect THAT" (i was honestly sad that you were going to stop making videos! I'm pretty gullible I guess lmao)

[@arlo.giovanmi]

Ugh that janitor sounds like such a creep! It's a public place. You're allowed to film

[@chickwithaface101]

This story is crazy! You should've been like "Sir, you seem stressed, have you ever heard of ASMR?"lol

[@SacrificeTheVeggies]

chickwithaface101 😂😂😂

[@gracefulbarbie]

the question is why did that "janitor" get so freaking defensive over an abandoned mall🤨🤔 sketchy af.... edit: the flipphone is a dead giveaway he's a drug dealer😂

[@bambooisgr8]

Mary!! This theoretical story cracks me up. You're the best 😭 no other youtuber could *dare* to get on your level of dedication!! Especially for an April fools video! 💖💌 hope you and your family are doing alright in these times ♥️

[@celestialstar6777]

Should've told that janitor you were with the pipeline and walked away😂

[@bb-bc7pk]

Omg, that woulda been awesome! 🤣

[@ShugaAnnSpyce]

You got me at first because you are so unconventional and a free spirit. While I was perplexed, it didn't seem far out that you would have done that. And I'm not easily fooled.

[@aussieskates]

I totally fell for your April Fool's Day joke. When I was watching, I kept thinking to myself, SouthernASMR Sounds must see something that I don't in this mall.

[@kaitlynremy584]

Lol when you said you were buying the mall I was like “SIS NO MALLS ARE DYING” but I had faith in you that u would find a way to make it a profitable business lol and then u said u were kidding and I was like 😅

[@emma122002]

this made me feel so much better i have had a horrible day thank you for making me both smile and sleep well ♡

[@theskellyboi]

Mary is such a legend

[@13crystalsister]

Oh My! That was epic! I'm so glad that you shared that (hypothetical) adventure. I can so picture janitor dude coming after you! Im also glad that you didn't get arrested! What a great story. You videos are a pleasant distraction from what's going on and I appreciate your work. Have a great weekend! See you soon.😊😴

[@mpenate516]

yaaaaaay I’ve been waiting for this after that video! can’t wait to listen to this one 😭💕

[@chelsmarie981]

Good Lord he’s one of those people that’s elected themselves as a security guard! LOL Also...he sounds like an old grump that was actually lonely and very NOSEY

[@claudiamooney5489]

The whole way through the mall video I just kept saying "...but HOW?!?" And "she must have had money already surely, who can just go and buy a mall" hahaha! I believed you the whole way through😂 I'm a gullible person as it is, I was about to plan a trip over to the states for next year to try out the personal experience ASMR 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

[@brittanynicole3311]

your hair looks so pretty! hope you and your family are doing good and staying safe!!! ❤️

[@daniellegreen4982]

"If you don't pay my bills, I don't care about what you think" *QUEEN*

[@lovelyorchid2948]

im honestly just relieved you aren't gonna stop making videos

[@rachell7318]

Thank you for providing us with content during this time ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Laura.v.b]

hmmmmm i have a feeling something shifty is going on with that mall....like why are they so paranoid. But go you for following through to make a excellent april fools video for us all!

[@eoinfitz3335]

I would just like to say I’m one of those people who didn’t know it was a joke and I’m quite proud that I can feel that ppl can achieve anything such as buying a mall.

[@leslieromero9489]

I love youuu! 😂 27:39 had me laughhhhinggg!! The little impersonation of the guy walking was hilarious!

[@wonhoe1926]

oh my gosh I fell for your most recent april fools video and went down a rabbit hole researching about the pennrose mall and then I found the old one from 2020 and watched until the end when you said it was a joke. I was soo stressed for you because the mall was just in such bad shape and the whole money drying out I was so concerned 😂 well done truly

[@koriandrr2233]

if i was you i would got in the car while he was distracted by talking on the phone and pulled off lol 😂😂😭💀

[@treygodsey]

Jakori X as soon as I saw him come out and walk to the car i would have just got in and drove off.

[@susanp.4781]

Intro on I bought a mall, I noted it right away, same reason. I also grew up,with 3 channels,😀🌸

[@noahalila4094]

Well... did u end up winning anything with the scratchers???

[@nowaylolwha]

Noah Alila for real 😂

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Nah

[@Thegreenjelousy]

I always look thru the comments while im listening and i didn't see anything that gave the joke away and it seemed like genuine comments and i literally did think you lost your mind til the very end haha. Nicely done

[@meowiies]

I always come back to your "I bought a mall!" Video when I need a good laugh. You are so funny and awesome!!

[@user-xm4zc6ez2g]

The real question is why were a bunch of people just sitting in a car outside an abandoned mall lmaooo

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

It was probably the most exciting thing they could find to do.

[@babagooey7835]

Yay! Just in time for bedtime! Thank youuuu!

[@hgfgghffghhgfghhjhhh]

We love you Mary! You’re an amazing mom and wife, and youtuber! ❤️

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

I have three ex husbands that I left in my wake, so I don't know about the wife part, but I appreciate the sentiment! ❤️

[@susanp.4781]

I had seen the dead mall series and that was why I kind of knew! I can’t believe someone thought you would give away your channel. Such interesting back stories!! And funny. You rock.

[@penelopep.maggie5976]

Poor janitor.. that mall is the only thing he has to live for haha. Its like that old neighbor that thinks he’s in charge of the neighborhood watch, but nobody wants to tell him there is no neighborhood watch 😥

[@TheBeautifulDisaster]

The ASMR Kidnappings was *gold*

[@theskellyboi]

I'm so glad Mary shared this (hypothetical) adventure. It's (allegedly) hilarious 😂

[@asmrsounds9605]

I didn’t clock onto the joke until you started talking about the ‘personal ASMR experiences’... it was very funny, well done!!

[@katieleannbaker7776]

You’re nicer than me. I couldn’t handle being spoken to like that.

[@HeySarahGurl]

Ok I just left a looong comment on your Mall video because I completely miss April Fools 😂 girl you really got me! Well I’m so happy you’re here still lol!

[@ari-io7yn]

so much respect for you mary. keep up the great work!♥️

[@Megan121481Anderson]

I just went to Dan's channel, and hypothetically, he got a shot of your janitor. I about rolled out of bed.

[@lesleysimpson5793]

I'm curious as to how much a mall would cost.

[@ReunionMana]

The average price for a medium-sized, 56k sq ft. shopping mall not including land purchases is $25 million dollars. It's like being a landlord but for retail locations and several orders of magnitude more difficult and expensive. You pretty much just take care of the building and the outside of the building (ex. the parking lot, the outer walls, the entrances, etc.) and the tenants who rent the storefronts take care of the space they buy. The sheer cost alone means that pretty much the only people who build or purchase malls aren't people at all but rather large, successful real estate businesses. Plus, you need the tax breaks that being a large business offers--you can't realistically, as an individual, buy a mall. The sheer amount of money in taxes you'd be required to pay on the money you do have and make in order to fulfill a multi-million dollar purchase would be obscene, with at least 40% of your income being taxed if not more. Even if you were doing multiple payments and didn't have all the money all at once, it would be practically impossible to do as an individual.

[@erinbertini2037]

The way that janitor treated you is absolutely absurd. I would have contacted the mall staff and let them know that he was following you and harassing you. That is unacceptable behavior on his part! I am a super peaceful person and even I would have told him off, at least "you're making me uncomfortable and I need you to stop following me." No wonder that mall is abandoned, jeesh, if it isn't the lack of stores, it's the janitor running people off.

[@dasistliana5151]

I fell for your joke. You are hilarious! Thanks so much for the much needed laugh! I adore you! 💜

[@normalu24]

Oh my gosh I didn't even bother looking up your channel after the mall video. I just figured you'd be so busy working on the mall 😂 Gosh you got me good! Glad I checked on you today. Now I have quite a few videos to catch up on. Wooohooo.

[@gaylechristensen6285]

You're literally the coolest lady ever. I enjoy all of your adventures.😂😊❤

[@andikitten]

I big time fell for the farm video last year and was so bummed at first but quickly was happily bamboozled when I found out it was a joke. I’m glad you did it again this year for the newcomers!

[@oliviadetwiler5731]

I was so shocked at the end when you said it was an April fools joke😂 This was the BEST April’s fools that has happened to me!

[@DeezN00tz99]

Mean mall washer roleplay when? I love lynette gets in a fight with him. Also Im so sorry someone you knew passed from the virus, you're right it feels like its not even happening until its right up in ur face.

[@thevampqueenyt8782]

You got me for years 😂 just found out now and the story behind it was so funny. Lol thanks for the laughs.

[@user-wr6up3tg1m]

When I watched that video a small part of me knew that it was fake, but the other part of me really thought for a moment that she was buying a mall😂 and I was like “damn, I’d be down for a tapping room!” I’m so fucking stupid 😂😊🤣😅 great April fools prank though Mary. Your the best!

[@novalydia4528]

So much thought in that video. Thats so amazing. Thank you so much!

[@ThisIsntClaire]

Think of all the different ASMR vids you could do from jail... 😂 Food tray tapping...

[@chriswhitt6685]

And the oscar for best female in a dramatic role goes to ....😂😂✌️

[@NotXias]

oh my god, i got recommended the mall video and watched most of it before i had to do classwork and because I was new to the channel i believed every second of it,,, and i was stressing out over the fact for a few days that she bought a mall and even told my mom about it. THEN TODAY, I get recommended this video and I found out it was an April Fools Joke !!! OH MAN YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB, ITS THE FIRST APRIL FOOLS JOKE THAT I FELL FOR IN A LONG TIME.

[@Kimdor83]

The April fool's day that you did the video in the car and was mad and offended and leaving KZbin...like 3yrs ago.. was my favorite one. 😁 You got me on that one!

[@Impossible998]

So sorry to hear about your loss, Mary. This is truly a terrifying time and I’m glad we all have ASMR to bring us some sense of normally and calm.

[@allyamv]

Wow...Not gonna lie, I think I probably would have broken down in your position 😂 You've got a lot of guts, Mary. That's one of the things I admire about you!

[@alexsasmrchannel]

the video was so funny 🤣🤣 at first when I scrolled down I thought people in the comments were playing along 😂

[@aegyoox]

' Can the FBI investigate me?' omgg😂😂😂😂

[@GeneSavage]

This may be the funniest ASMR video I have EVER seen!!! I love your devotion... thank you for the laughs!!! You couldn't make this stuff up... Wow!

[@ashleyrichardson8631]

Love your videos Mary! Stay safe out there❤️

[@LifeIsInteresting1]

You have the best sense of humor, thank you so much for making us laugh! 💜 Sorry for your lost 🙏🏽

[@Olgadeni19]

my queen Mary out here finessin the janitor haha. ICONIC!

[@courtneybarker5539]

As a born and bred native of the area but one who doesn't have an audible southern accent (West Coast mom) I can tell you this is an authentic Reidsville/Rockingham County experience. I am constantly asked "where you from?" me: "I grew up on a farm 15 minutes up the road in the Virginia" them: "huh, Virginia you say?" me: "yup, 15 mins away" [awkward silence while I'm thinking, I live closer than some restaurants you go to on a weekly basis] them: "all the way up in Virginia?" me: "would you like to see my passport?"

[@itsbella7351]

Ohhhh I just left a comment because in the last video I thought you were being serious until you said you were relying on lottery tickets for the renovations lol. One of the best pranks I have ever seen even if I am a little late haha

[@justmekim6767]

Hahaha OMG !!! Barney fife ...thats sooooo funny .....I laughed so hard.....I think he really wanted to be a mall cop LoL ....but considering how bad penrose is he was probaby afraid of some sort of liability because seriously that place should be shut down but I truly enjoyed this video ...I was looking for asmr but this was better LOL subscribed ...your awesome !!

[@ludmyllasanchez1036]

It might sound disrespectful but i would just answer, "I'm not doing anything wrong and its none of your business" ! You're really patient to answer to someone who's just asking things like you're a criminal when you haven't done nothing wrong

[@pribeli]

To the Valentines day stuff. Last year here in Hungary where easter decoration in a not so fancy store chain (Kik) two days before Christmas... This Mall looks very sad. It should deserve a much better future. After your video I've read about this Mall, how it got in this situation. Ive never seen a Mall in such a condition. Hope someday its will have a new golden era. You are very brave to get this video done! Thank you for it! Great work!

[@heloise.]

Oh god I've been feeling sad about it for a while now 😂 I didn't have the time to watch it all the way through and just read the ~selected~ comments 😭 Glad you will be posting more videos 😂🙏

[@wildboyz5736]

Honestly love watching your videos keep up the great work/asmr !

[@christopherw1272]

Everytime you said you thought you were going to jail omg that is so funny to me 😂 I love your dedication and I really appreciate you and your channel!

[@jackiesixtysixtyjackie]

I legit thought you were serious for the first 3 minutes...i swear to god ur the judy garland of asmr

[@itsmebri5001]

In the original video when you pulled out the lottery tickets i was just like 🤦🏽‍♀️ oh dear Lord. I was scared for you!! haha

[@malistone3889]

i thought the video was hilarious 😂 even funnier is hearing about the comments!! what a crack up! also i have to say thank you for being cautious of sensitive topics, i am someone who actively avoids social media on april fools due to people “joking” about one of the ‘off-limits’ topics you mentioned, as it is so painful for me. super thankful that yours are intentionally thought out to be clean, funny & not offensive to anyone! love it!!!

[@noimkat]

wow i already knew you were dedicated to your videos but oh my goodnessssss. thanks for going through what you do for your videos lol it’s much appreciated

[@Zavendea]

This sure was an adventure!! This video was incredible - I LOVE your storytimes

[@prettynpink4849]

No wonder the mall is shutting down!! You’ve got creepy janitors questioning why people are there!!

[@SacrificeTheVeggies]

Oh Mary I’m sorry for your loss. This too shall pass ❤️ In the meantime, we’re all here to laugh and tingle along through this weird time

[@ACGNikki]

Shoot, I'd call the cops on HIM. lol

[@paint_freckles]

You had me last year with that farm!

[@NobodyUknow444]

True story: so I dated this guy who took me to an abandoned mall there was literally only like 2 stores open an in the middle of the mall was a giant carousel it was a two story mall an the carousel was on the bottom an they were shutting that mall completely down all the stores were packed up there was nothing really left. Fast forward an about 2 years later I go to the local mall in the town I live in an that same carousel is in the middle of our food court 😳🤯 I kinda was thrown off a bit .... an something in me just made me have chills for a second it isn’t scary or anything but it really was like an off guard moment.

[@abbierose92]

Thank you for the videos and all you go through to make them!!

[@idontknowwhatimdoinghere9267]

Omg I knew it! I was like there is no way this sweet woman thinks she can pay for renovations with a lottery scratcher😂

[@rose281396]

Your hair has gotten so long, I love it!! Also, I am glad that it was a joke and that you weren’t leaving us.