my trich

i watched almost every video i could find on people that have struggled with trichotillomania- i decided to share my story. no hate mail please!!

[@SarahKienker]

Great video and info. It's really not so rare and youtube has made me realise that too! I've had trich 12 years now.... half of my life! and even though I've managed to stop biting my nails I can't seem to stop pulling out hair. it's a pretty bad need- heightened anxiety makes it worse for me, so does boredom. I've learned to crochet to stop me doing it as often, which really helped and I keep hands busy with baking, writing in my calendar/diary/making lists, and doing lots of cleaning !!

[@xxdeadbeforealivexx]

That's such a strong saying "Normal girls cry over pimples ,and normal girls cry over boys and fights with their parents and I was in my room crying becasue I was bald." It really makes a person who doesn't have Trichotillomania understand how a person with it feels. I don't have it, I'm just intersted in learning about it. But what I do do is I pick at my scalp till it bleed, I know it disgusting but it feels good and I'm scared that it's really bad

[@recrdholdr]

@xxdeadbeforealivexx Picking at your skin obsessively is called Dermatillomania. It is very similar to Trich, in fact many people that have some form of Trich also have Derm.

[@m4rygold]

I have had trich for 12 years now because of my anxiety. When I pull it calms/ relaxes me. Only a few people know I have this, its like a huge dark secret of mine because Im embarrassed. I see a therapist for my anxiety and disorder and I can honestly say thats the best thing I could of ever done. As of 06/01/13 I have decided not to pull. Its a huge goal of mine, but Im going on 6 days of being pick free, SO EXCITED!!!! I GOT THIS :)

[@savannah6275]

head. she asked me if i got a brush stuck. all i could say was no. when she was done, she turned me around and handed me a mirror and made md look at it. i think stylist need to be more aware. i havent gotten my hair cut since. tbat happened on mine and my husbands anniversary. i pull my hair until i get the "right" one. then i keeping puling and pulling and pulling, like im in a trance, until i realize what i have

[@mickeyheiser6897]

I have had trich ever since i can remember and im 15 now. I pull my eyelashes out and i use to pull my eyebrows out. Its become so frusterating because now that im in highschool, when people are close to me and look at my eyes they say " whao you dont have eyelashes" and its so embarrising to me. they are my friends and they dont quit understand y but i noticed i do that when im stressed or sad or bored. your video helped me feel not so alone thank you

[@hinesrozetta52]

Hey, I am 24 almost 25 and I have pulled since I was about 2. Growing up I had very, very short hair, cause I pulled it out. There was one year that I had close to no hair, I was literally bald. I went to therapy, I tried hypnosis when I was about 10 I think. Nothing worked, I figured that there was no way to stop and I still feel that way. I always got made fun of, ppl would call me names and mock me. I did it in school cause I didn't know any better. But anyhoo, thanks for sharing your story!

[@juliamyllykoski8067]

...and when i started to read about trichotillomania and also dermatillomania i was happy to find a reason for everything but at the same time really disgusted. I also eat the hair everytime i pull.. Last year, i started to see a psychologist for trichotillomania and she also for generalized anxiety disorder. It is helpful to have a psychologist to whom talk to, but the heir pulling hasn't really decreased. It's so irresistible. :/

[@talkblackcat]

I am 22 years old, and I haven't been doing it nearly as long as you have. I had no idea of the condition until I googled it, b/c I was experiencing it myself. The only link I can think of to it's sudden cause, is that I experienced a bout of severe depression a little more than a year ago. I mostly slept during that period until I started a drug, that thankfully happened to work for me. Next thing I know, I'm doing the things I mentioned before. You've inspired me to make a video of my own.

[@talkblackcat]

I cried watching this, because I can feel your pain... I felt like it was ME talking on my computer screen, not you. I have only just recently developed this, maybe a year? & actually I also pick at my skin (dermatillomania) mostly my legs, b/c it's an area that is easily hidden. I have bald spots, all in the same area of my head. I'm not a masochist, and I don't really know why I do it. The best way I can explain it is just as you did, "a simple pleasure". (cont.)

[@MannequinEyes]

talkblackcat this is really sad to hear, only because this was 7 years ago. I genuinely hope that you’ve found recovery since, and I can’t help but to hope that you’ve since found peace, and found tools necessary to quit. I didn’t mention this in the video, but I too struggle with picking at my skin. Seems they go hand in hand. Just know that you are in control, and it is beatable. I am locked out of my original account, and am posting this from my new one. Thank you for sharing and being so open. It’s hard to do, and it takes a lot.

[@isabellemccauley6711]

our stories are so similar... thank you for this!

[@savannah6275]

tried blaming it on wearing my hair up. that worked for a little bit. until i got and bed rest when i was pregnant with my twins. thats when it got worse. i hate going to get my hair cut. my excuse after bed rest was, cuz i was on bed rest. but that only lasted so long. then last year, i went to get my hair cut. i was gonna tell the stylist but her daughter was right there so i didnt. when she started cutting my hair, she asked me what happened. i had regrowth and bald spots on the back of my

[@savannah6275]

done, throw the hair in the trash and start all over again. i have a hard time doing my hair. it makes me sad. i wear my hair down if i can get it just right to cover it. im in therapy now and a support group that i start in a couple days. i was so surprized to hear how common this is. i felt like i was watching my story. to hear

[@prnd21zinman37]

Oh, I did remember something, maybe of no importance but when i was very young, maybe four or so, I had a blanket that had on it many strands of yarn all along its outer area and I vividly remember enjoying combing them with my fingers. This makes me think that trich might be something we re born with or something we learned to enjoy at a very young age. Maybe not. I do think think trichsters tend to be pensive individuals. We think a lot. Just a theory. I've known only two others and we re kinda alike in personality.

[@xxdeadbeforealivexx]

@recrdholdr But thanks I'll look into Dermatillomania and Trich and I do realize I keep losing a lot of hairs lately but idk if it's just me or if it's anything serious. But again thanks and good job with the perfect timing lol.

[@MeganJeffH]

my big thing is eyelashes. it sucks. thank you for the video!

[@ginadeal]

I've pulled my hair for 8 years now. I kept it a secret and didn't tell anybody for a while. I thought I was the only one in the world who pulled their hair out and felt like a freak. I would spend hours trying to fix my hair to disguise my hair to look normal. I have two big bald spots behind my ears and one on the top of my head. They're continuing to get worse..I told my parents about my pulling and they blew it off like it was no big deal. I feel helpless and so frustrated! :/ Ugh.

[@prnd21zinman37]

Mine started at ten. As far as I remember. For me, it seems to have lessened in severity as I get older, maybe because I'm busier in life, trying to pay bills, further my career, clean the house, etc. I used to play a mind game with myself and pull on areas besides my "focus areas'' which happens to be my parting line on both sides of my head and this helped just to prevent baldness. As a male, it must be easier than for a woman i think because I can just buzz my head and then I stop even trying to pull. Weird huh. But, i did have long hair in my twenties and the urge to pull was there. So wearing a headband or a cap helped a lot. My focus areas have taken a beating though and there are permanent thin spots so pulling on the same area too much may cause permanent hair loss contrary to what some others may have said. For me, definitely keeping busy and working towards a goal has almost eliminated the ulling though it has by no means cured or ended it. Dont think it ever will but maybe the best course of action is just awareness and reducing the moments in life that allow the pulling to occur. Than you for bringing this topic to discussion.

[@xxdeadbeforealivexx]

@recrdholdr funny thing is like almost after a year just a few minutes ago I was looking up something like scratching my scalp feels relieving and some websites about trich came up and I read a little into them. Then I go on to check my email and I get something about trich and I was like o.O was not expecting that.

[@talkblackcat]

.... I want to help in raising awareness of this. I've told only my mother & a few close friends, & even though they deny it, I can tell that they don't relate or understand it at all. It feels like I'm a freak.. & nothing else is different about me except for this. I never wear shorts, dresses, a bathing suit is out of question, & I spend hours on my hair trying to cover up the bald spots. I will send you a link to the video I make (if I can be courageous enough). So don't desert this account!

[@MannequinEyes]

talkblackcat I sincerely hope that things have improved, and that you’ve found the confidence to wear what makes you feel good. I did not intentionally desert the account, instead was locked out of it. I’ve spent years trying to retrieve it, only to be locked out of it. I dealt with a lot of shame even making this video, and didn’t expect the outpouring of affection and support. I deeply appreciate your story, and if you would like to talk about this more, I’d love to hear from you. It’d be great to see where you’ve come since then. I’m posting this from my new account. Thank you for your story, and contribution to this cause. I still feel very passionately about helping other people not feel like freaks... wishing you the best.

[@juliamyllykoski8067]

I started pulling my hair when I was about 9-10, I don't remember the exact age. I also have this other 'habit', I bite my hand when I get angry or anxious, I don't do it infront of others, except for my family members.I have had similar feelings that you told. For many years I didn't really nderstand what I was doing and I think I just. Ignored the pulling. I'm now 17 and about a year ago I started to search on google about hair pulling and biting.

[@MannequinEyes]

This is my new channel, pls check out our short films! You can also find me on my fb page 'Ashley Nicole' All sorts of my crazy life content will be there. That being said, I'm making an individualized shout out bid to all that shared

[@savannah6275]

i have been sruggling with trich since i was 12 years old. im now almost 23. i hid it from everyone until a couple years ago. i thought i was a freak, and who would want to hang out with someone who pulls out their hair, u know? so i didnt tell anyone. when i was 13 i was sitting in class, and i had big bald spots on the side of my head. this girl looks at me and says, oh ny goodness, why r u bald? i didnt know what to do. we

[@nadiashoman410]

It takes months to grow back lashes but it only takes minutes to pull them out! I'm trying but I never seem to win

[@TheSpydra]

wow you look great

[@MannequinEyes]

Spydra Webb thank you :)

[@talkblackcat]

I sometimes spend hours picking at my legs in the bathroom, and I just constantly rub, scratch, pick, and pull out hair on my scalp throughout the day. I don't care at the moment & don't think too much about it as I'm doing it. But, immediately after, I look at the hair pulled out, or the previously almost healed scabs turn into a fresh wound... & I instantly feel guilty, & mad at myself.

[@MannequinEyes]

talkblackcat So sorry for late reply thank you so much for your input, my new channel is Ashley Höppner

[@YenusV]

@mamamogy is that working for you? its harder to pull out when its wet. I cut my hair like boy short becoause I thought that'd stop it. but it didn't it just made it worst and now everyone cam see my bald spot and a few people have began commenting n it's humiliating.

[@MannequinEyes]

I am so very sorry for this obscenely late response. I have read each and every one, and am touched by the openness of these stories. In regards to what helps, I'm in the process on a video about it, because I have completely stopped pulling. It's so freeing. One habit I can say is to reverse the obsession. Instead of (for my instant) pulling that satisfying wirred hair, I would think about having thicker fuller one...'every one counts' There's a few things that helped me, but it has to be deliberate. I hope your hair is full and gorgeous as it should be. As you deserve to feel. Trich doesn't define you.

[@MannequinEyes]

My new channel is Ashley Höppner, link will be given below. PART TWO: HOW I QUIT- 7 YEARS LATER: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJ-5g41qacmFoLc

[@b4rkietb]

Its so imbarasing huh

[@MannequinEyes]

b4rkietb absolutely.