My UTMB 2023 Race Recap (& plans for the future)

[@sdegelaen]

Words like embarrassing and sorry are not necessary, Ben. Take the time you need to find your strength(s) again, and remember you're still a legend and a huge inspiration, both in good and less good times, to other people (runners and non-runners)! 💪🏻

[@georgemarriott2809]

Was about to comment the same! Huge inspiration for the rest of us, well done for making the decision to focus on what makes you happy!

[@bh4560]

100 percent! Inspired me for the last 3 years now. ❤🙌

[@sharonlong8177]

💯 ❤❤❤❤ Well said ❤

[@benjith82]

Totally agree!

[@JdeRooy]

100% agree, your awesome Ben

[@NitrousMiike]

Ben, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Those of us who were following your progress during UTMB were wishing you nothing but the best, but were also knowing how difficult of a task it is for anyone to cross the finish line. You have inspired many of us, and you will continue doing so.

[@MikeSmith-rd9fi]

this. take some pressure of yourself ben. its all about enjoying life.

[@robdevine4361]

99% of the people here just want to support you regardless of finishing position. You do so many amazing things at such a high level. The struggles just show you re human. Being switched on for a marathon or ultra can be a finicky thing. The professional runners often struggle with these distances. Sort yourself out however you feel is best and I’m certain your supporters will be here for you. Can’t wait to see you smash whatever comes next!

[@ldbhood84]

You say that but there have been so many comments on recent videos, with people saying ‘where’s the video’, ‘150k subs and no word’, plus other similar comments as though he has an obligation to explain! Leave the guy alone. Can’t help but feel he was pressured into making this video. People need to get a life. Sad.

[@laurainthehaute918]

@@ldbhood84Yes. It’s so easy for these types to be cruel when they’re not face to face, human to human. ❤

[@jensmith3719]

@@ldbhood84 i still think they are in the minority and probably post because they are lacking something in their lives, most folk on here are supportive, its just sometimes the negativity can seem louder, imo Ben really didnt look too well at the start, i know it is was a very big deal for him and he has searched for answers but anxiety is very draining and he did look very drained, i just hope he can regain some peace with himself, he was the first running youtuber i watched at start of lockdown and he really was a joy even dealing with his broken ankle,

[@taraonatrail]

There are zillions of people making running videos. We come here because you and Sarah are delightful people - funny, honest, vulnerable, supportive, and creative. None of that is directly tied to race outcomes or changes when you DNF or even DNS. Keep doing what makes you happy, and by sharing it, makes others happy too.

[@eddy.beezgames]

Ben, you don't know me from Adam, but you are an inspiration. Don't apologise for the delay in this video and certainly don't apologise for either your mental health or the 'failure' of UTMB. The fact you had that disappointment yet were still there for Sarah at the end of her epic race shows the type of person you are. Using your training plans and bought 2-3 hats (I keep losing them 😆) you've made me realise anyone can really be a runner. Keep getting it done, all the best and let us know how it all goes!

[@melaniebailey7210]

That’s a very brave video Ben, and anyone who has been following you for a while will fully appreciate how hard it probably was to film. I think we can also all appreciate how much pressure you must feel when this is not just your hobby but also your job. I also just wanted to mention that, IMO, you don’t need to do well competitively to make great videos. And in fact, showing the human side of running, including the downs as well as the ups, is of far greater value to viewers (who may also be struggling) than those who only choose to show their successes. Let’s face it, there’s enough of that in social media in general - and it’s not healthy or helpful! I really hope you’ll feel able to share some of your next steps. I for one will certainly continue to follow and like (love) your channel. ❤ 🤗

[@MrsHuntontheTrails]

We were just talking about why we continue to watch you week after week and the word ‘integrity’ springs to mind. You’re not afraid to share your struggles as well as your successes and are all the more inspiring as a result.

[@paulwilliams2814]

Well-put. Incredible integrity

[@francoisnelis1464]

You are real and an inspiration for all of us. You did your best and something unexpected happened. That is running good days and bad days. I was happy to see Sarah finish that was great and you will do it one day just be patient and do not bead yourself up

[@styx85]

I'm sorry to see that this is (and we are) causing you so much stress and anxiety. It's supposed to be fun! Definitely time for a recalibration of something here :) All the best to you, I hope your next run is a positive experience, no matter the result.

[@brennycodmusic]

Oh Ben - very late in catching up on this but on your suspected autism/adhd, all I can say is chase that diagnosis. Your suspicions are a very, very good indicator for this. I did the same 18 months ago, same diagnosis. BEST. THING. EVER. Completely changed my mental health. I no longer fought to be who I thought I should be to others, but embraced all that these gave me in spades. No wonder I’d been burnt out, anxious, depressed. I hope you can find yourself in it too, it will change your life in so many amazing ways that you can’t imagine, and makes it exponentially easier to deal with the aspects that are hard. From one proud neurodivergent to a possible/probable other.🙏🏻

[@desmondchan9766]

Ben, mental health is more important than anything else. As someone who loves to run ultra's, I lost someone that was a trail running mentor to me due to mental health and till this day I cannot run on the trails w/o breaking down. Time heals all wounds but you need to give yourself that time to figure it out and when you have the trails will still be there for you. Take your time, run roads to gain clarity & confidence back. We will encourage you from all over the world!

[@stevenmcfarlane6010]

A dnf is never embarrassing - it’s a part of trail running. Everyone’s dnf’s at some point for myriad reasons. Don’t pressure yourself, 2:25 is phenomenal and you’re in

[@ericvault]

If you never fail at anything, it means you're not challenging yourself enough. Well done for going for it. Don't live small. Keep going. 👍🏻

[@louieee444]

Hi Ben I’m autistic and was only diagnosed last year (at age 28). Good luck with the whole process, and thank you for speaking openly about it 💛🙌

[@MikeSmith-rd9fi]

what made you get tested? best of luck.

[@louieee444]

@@MikeSmith-rd9fi i was struggling with my mental health, and one of the psych doctors spotted signs of autism in me and referred me to get tested

[@lilee360]

Hi Ben, I'm not usually one to comment on things like this. However, you played a role in inspiring me to start running when I was bored during the first lockdown so A) Let me thank you for that. B) As a primary school teacher, I'm often telling my class there's no point them being here if they've got all the answers. The challenges, the struggles, the (quote-unquote) 'failures' are all part of the process. It's very difficult for me to follow my own worldly wisdom on occasion, but it is something I firmly believe in. When I'm out of inspiration, or I haven't run in months I return to some of yours and others' videos and it gives me that boost to get it done. Well done for setting clear goals on how to use this as a learning experience. I'm looking forward to completing a marathon before I turn 30 next year - there's going to be lots of learning experiences with that for sure. See you on the start line! 😅

[@selena4221]

Watched the video, went away, felt the need to comment and came back and post, which I never do.... It's important to remember that the impact of our actions can be achievements much bigger than the ones we were seeking. You make content that inspires a lot of people. You are genuine and real about the process on good days. You're incredibly honest about your struggles on the "less good" days. All of these have a massive impact on a lot of people and that is the opposite of embarrassing. It's pretty awesome. 🙂 Best of luck finding the answers you are looking for and thank you for being who you are. And as a mum to 2 on the spectrum, thanks for being another voice willing to talk about these things. Breaking taboos is another pretty awesome contribution to your online "community" 😉

[@50Something]

Very well said!

[@kimdecker8901]

We haven't all tried to run UTMB; hell, I haven't even run a marathon yet! But we all know how it feels not to perform as well as we'd hoped. And it sucks. But standing here on the other side of the KZbin video, Ben, I can say that we all love and appreciate YOU and the work you do as much as we always have. Taking us through the ups and downs of training AND competition helps us perform better, ourselves--and that's such a gift you give us. So THANK YOU! And know that we'll be just as supportive of you when you hit your next PB as we are now. 'Cause it's YOU we're celebrating here, and you're you no matter how you place!

[@Morfeusm]

Good luck with your marathon! One day…. No pressure! 😅

[@kimdecker8901]

@@Morfeusm Slowlu, slowly, right?!🙌😁

[@petraalma29]

Absolutely not embarrassing, you have my full admiration for speaking out about mental health and about ‘failure’. I met you at the Chamonix shake out run and I was really rooting for you knowing how much you wanted it after last year’s fall and injury. My guess is that alongside some other issues like training and nutrition you could well have had a virus or even COVID, there seemed to be plenty of it about with hindsight. One year your day will come and I wish you every success on the roads in the meantime. As an older female runner my experience is that success in trail ultras can come at any age and the correlation with raw speed is actually pretty weak (unless you really are at the sharp end).

[@lutfizakhour]

Ben, thank you for being so open with your struggles, on the road, trail or in your head. You are by far the most courageous of all the “big time” runners out there, as you push yourself all the time - again physically and mentally - and inspire us by sharing it all. We need more Bens in this world! Thank you! “Keep on keeping on!”

[@keithc1264]

I don’t watch because you’re fast or accomplished, I watch because of your personality, great tips & helps, and your opinions on products. You’re a relatable and likable person. Thank you for sharing your running and some of your life with us. Cheers to you and Sarah.

[@christianbrookes8647]

Well done mate. Getting to the start line and competing like you have done is a big achievement for anyone. I'm not an expert on any of this, so you don't have to take my advice, but I can tell you get incredibly nervous for race day. The pressure must be immense for such a big distance that you've trained so long for, and perhaps that gets to you and affects your performance? The fastest marathon you've done was one where you went out planning to 'run 5k and see how it goes'. Maybe a freedom and lack of pressure is what you need, so working on dealing with the pressure and anxiety could be a good way forward? Anyway, giving UTMB a few years off and focusing on road marathons sounds like a good idea, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's only you who's putting pressure on yourself, nobody else.

[@teetertotter5787]

Nothing more crushing than working hard day after day and then on that ONE day things don't go your way. I had a similar thing happen in my marathon last year. I decided to take a break and focus on shorter faster distances. That helped me relax and take so much pressure off. And then recently the marathon bug got me again so I am heading into another one this winter. The break was so good and I got faster, so bonus all around. Best of luck to you on your journey returning to the roads for a break from trails. And most of all good luck with the mental health journey. You'll figure it out.

[@DannyWyattTV]

Some days it works, some days it doesn't. You need to stop beating yourself up, you haven't done anything wrong at all. You just had a 'no' day with some form of sickness causing it probably, that's all. You don't need to apologise to anyone. And you have nothing to apologise for! My advice is you should do your best to try and stop the negative thinking. Positive minds lead positive lives. Speaking to a professional in this space is life changing. I've been crippled (almost literally, panic attacks etc) by anxiety myself and I've often thought that I suffer with ASD too. Best place to start is to ask for help so you're doing the right thing. Feel free to give me a shout anytime and I'd be only too happy to share my experience and how I've conquered it. It helped me to hear how others have overcome those mental challenges. One thing I am certain of is, you'll come back and smash it next year. Keep up the good work!

[@akamailman6082]

Ben - don't normally comment on KZbin videos but felt compelled to after watching this. I've not been running much over the last couple of years having found things harder since starting a family but watching your videos has been so inspirational as I'm trying to get back into it. Keep up the good work, I and many others really appreciate what you do!

[@paulwilliams2814]

My admiration for you is further enhanced by this Ben. You and Sarah are remarkable content-creators. You are incredibly wise, experienced, skilful and generous. Your modesty is another strength and I hope that this period of reflection is matched with an equal measure of celebration for all the achievements. Please heed all the comments. You've nothing to be sorry for or embarrassed by; nothing.

[@dogsville]

making this video is like going sub 3.30. i know you'd gladly swap them but life's not like that. i've been sidelined with injuries for 14 months, watching content creators setting foot on starting lines. today i ran a trail, only 4km, without pain, for the first time since then. the lucky few get to participate. see you out there ben.

[@Nyelands]

I have this thesis that a lot of runners have mental issues and that is what steered them into running in the first place because running calms the mind. I think the key is to be much more focused on the proces rather than the goals so you don't lose the joy of running.

[@garydover2680]

You are a hero to me and others, as someone who is living with anxiety, running is my release, no anxiety running races, after 49 failed attempts to break 3 hours, it probably won’t happen being nearly 60, but when I need motivation, I just watch your KZbin. Just look after yourself as you inspire so many👍

[@ForeverYoungfitness92]

just did your 50 mile plan and ran my 50 last Saturday... just bought the marry 315-345 plan.. thank you your the truth!

[@ThatRunnerAaron]

This is one of the hardest races on the planet Ben, granted you haven’t had very good luck but this is an incredibly tough thing to do. You should be proud regardless, even just to tow the start line is a hard thing to do!

[@thescottishturd7594]

Its not about the finish line, its about having the courage to start in the first place

[@gingerwhiskyman7032]

Every one of your subscribers and folk who stumble across your channel are and will be humbled by your honesty, Ben. You are an inspirational fella and an incredible athlete - all of us just wish we were half as talented as you are!! Keep at it, stay strong in every way and always be true to yourself! 💪

[@graemeroberts3069]

Yeah, you nailed it at about 4:40 - not specialising and not enough volume of training. That will always come out. No place to hide. Good luck next year! If you were wanting to do a mountain ultra of high intensity and distance like UTMB, you would need to focus now and only on it for the whole year building up and up. (Also, it must be tricky filming and trying to run your best - maybe leave that alone as well...)

[@johnharrison6477]

Great update. Very honest and brave, Ben. Also, very straightforward and candid - others may have chosen to have lame voice overs and footage of themselves looking longingly into the middle distance and prattling on about nonsense. This was totally from the heart and a humble reminder of how tough UTMB is. Great work. Nice to see you've already realised your road running vids are where you want to focus on. Good luck!

[@kimmcbirnie5747]

Ben I could have hugged you watching this video. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for, or feel bad about. I love watching your videos, and it's never ever been about how fast you can run. For yourself, you need to love what you're doing, and don't give a damn about what anyone else thinks. ( I say this from the lofty position of a 51 Yr old slow runner!) Looking forward to seeing future vlogs.

[@jslalleman]

Ben, you showed up. That is something you can be proud of! You mention that we as your YT followers are here to see you perform on race day. Let me just share that I am here to enjoy the authentic and honest content you create because it motivates me in my running journey. I wish for you that you can find your inner peace and enjoyment in your future projects. Keep up the good work!

[@grandcolferret]

Over a thousand runners DNF'd at UTMB this year; every one of them was an experienced trail runner who'd earned the right to be there and probably thought they'd get round the course. Absolutely no shame or embarrassment in having a bad day. We've all been there. I did say hi to you during the race, between St Gervais and Contamines, and it was clear that something wasn't right; it's got nothing to do with your ability or preparation - just bad luck really. fwiw, I have always had nutrition problems at UTMB (2 dnf's in 5 previous runs), but found this year that slowing it down, not worrying about the time spent in aid stations resting & refuelling, and a totally relaxed attitude to any sort of performance goal or target really helped me get round in a fairly modest 41 hours. Was great to see Sarah's finished soon after; I spoke with her briefly in the opening couple of miles so was delighted to see she made the full loop. You should be dead proud of her, which I guess must feel really bittersweet considering your own obvious disappointment. Good luck for the Valencia build up; you deserve a bit of good fortune to see out the year.

[@blainj2]

There are no failures in life, just lessons to learn from. Thanks for Inspiring me to run more. Doing the Dublin Marathon in 5 weeks, my first ever. I think you know the reason it didn't go as you hoped and just so you know 99% of us don't care if you come in the top 10 or last 10, we just want you to enjoy it and show us your experience.

[@susanheneghan5879]

Ben it's so good to see you. You have nothing to be embarrassed or humiliated about. We're just glad you're okay. I admire you talking about your mental health and sharing it with us. Looking forward to you uploading some new videos. We missed you loads.

[@mikeperkis8983]

Never feel the need to apologise Ben. You are a huge inspiration for so many. Keep up the awesome work. Thank you so much.

[@AndyCliffMTB]

Good morning Ben, there aren’t many people who are brave enough to open up the way you do, and that’s part of the reason why you have such a loyal following (I hoped you’d complete UTMB too, but you’ll do it, no question, when the time’s right). I raced 10K yesterday at the Warrington Running Festival (+6000 runners) and I came over the line in my Ben Parkes hat. I’ve also set up my own channel, tiny compared to you but the same ethos, keeping it real and authentic. You’re an inspiration Ben👌

[@johnmiller5630]

Such an honest assessment and you should take heart from that Ben. Be kind to yourself and regroup as you seem to be doing and the way forward will be so much better. As a follower I’m really not bothered about the end result as it’s the journey that I tune in for. Easy for me to say but don’t be so hard on yourself. Onward and upward in the direction only you should chose.

[@ivanajuraga6746]

Ben, I hope you will gather from the hundreds of comments here that you have nothing to say sorry for. I was heartbroken when I saw your dot had stopped moving, not because I wanted better/more/cooler content, but because I knew how much it had meant to you. I am eternally grateful for your vulnerability in sharing your goals and dreams in such a public way. I never even tell my family and close friends that I'm doing a race, because of how scared I am every time that I won't finish. You inspire me to be more vulnerable (and more confident), to share my dreams and goals with loved ones, even when there is a risk that I won't reach them on the first try, and to know that they will be there for me whether I "fail" or "succeed". Thank you for what you do!

[@mattwilliams3696]

Your journaling of your running, and ultimately the experiences of success and/or failures are what make me come back to this channel. Do not apologise or be embarrassed. These real experiences are what we all go through and your honesty is so valuable to everyone who watches. Be well Ben, and thanks for being so candid.

[@MrToshi60]

By accident, I found you few weeks ago and watching your video one by one. I am Japanese and live in Perth, Australia. I am 25 years older than yourself, but still doing marathon and half marathon a lot each year. My focus is not chasing PB. Instead I try to join marathon and half marathon as much as possible. I am 5 hours 30 mins runner, but still enjoying every single race. Enjoy running ! By the way, I joined Edinburgh marathon 10 years ago.

[@pininh0]

Ben, be kind with yourself. I absolutely know that for a performance oriented guy like you this is not what you want to hear, but it is what you NEED to hear: be kind with yourself. There is no humiliation in whatever marathons or ultras throw at us. Thank you for sharing with us and being vulnerable, I absolutely admire you for this! Keep it up and good things will come for you, you deserve it.

[@TasosHadji]

It’s not embarrassing and you shouldn’t apologize. You can’t control weather and how you are feeling that day! That’s running and that’s why we love it so much! You are a legend and we support you all the way! Keep on!

[@ColeRunning]

No apology necessary. One of the hardest races in the world, certainly not humiliating. You know where I am if you need me mate 🤗

[@decram8663]

Ben, don't stop with your inspiring content.

[@davevinton83]

You’re an inspiration to the running community - not only with your positivity but also over the past few years being realistic about the ups and downs. It sounds like a bad day at the office and something in your system that wasn’t identified, so no need to feel embarrassed or apologise to anyone. Diagnosed with ADHD last year at 39, which helped understand how my head works and how to manage myself. Good luck with finding the answers you are looking for: I think all of us care about you doing well first and foremost over race times and KZbin content.

[@Langstonrocks]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Imo the UTMB (and similar events) are massive challenges, and the mental aspects of it are massive as well. My first UTMB last year I felt completely overwhelmed by the atmosphere and spoke to lots of people with the same experience. I teared up at the start line, like every second person, and by the time we actually started running I felt mentally completely drained. It was a lot easier the second time this year. For most people races like the UTMB are not really races but "simply" a challenge to reach the finish line. It's so hard, it will strip any ambition of you and just demands everthing that you have and make you grind to the finish. Long hikes & big mountain adventures in any weather and any time of the year are crucial to build up the physical and mental strength. Good luck with all your goals and dreams, and I hope to see you again in Chamonix at some point, I plan to race TDS next year and definitely want to do UTMB again at some point.

[@JovanPuyo]

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just being there is a feat in itself. Thank you for taking us with you.

[@KellyandDoug]

Your videos are always great Ben! . A great video of UMTB for everyone to watch would be amazing. But it's worth nothing compared to all the incredible videos you have already uploaded. You have not failed yourself or anybody who watches your videos. You have helped millions of runners and I am sure you will go on to help millions more.

[@Colston3]

Haven't really been following your content since you hurt your ankle but always wish you all the best, in the most loving way possible though catching up on your content it does seem like it's a anxiety/mental issue as it always seems to pop up in the races and not in training. The time around and beyond your injured ankle seems to be the catalyst.

[@ukmattj]

A really honest video there Ben. Delighted to be sharing the roads with you in Valencia in December. Let’s shakeout with a massive smile. VAMOS! 🇪🇸

[@rajsaysrun]

Thanks for posting this Ben. Nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about, this kind of stuff happens to us all. However, I can completely understand your disappointment, I’ve watched all your UTMB build up videos and can see how much it means to you. Liking your short, medium and long term plan approach. Looking forward to seeing the very fast GoPro footage in the coming weeks and hopefully see you out in NYC! 🙌

[@Jack_OLanc]

I don’t think I’m the first to say I’ve been waiting for this to drop!! So gutted for you mate but onwards and upwards!! ❤🎉

[@thisisbuzz]

Ben! We are here because we like the content that you and Sarah are producing. We are here for the fun of it. of course we like you to perform well. But so that it is all a joy. You are saying "Racday is what you want to see, that is when the pressure is on. Thats when I need to deliver." We as the community don't want to feel like pressure. We don't want to be a burden on your on raceday. We want to be part of the journey, when we watch your videos. And we alle know that a lot of stars need to align for a good race. Please see us as the cheering crowd next to the trail/road. And nothing more. Just here to support.

[@GregHowesFitnessAndFun]

Absolutely no embarrassment or apologies necessary. You put yourself out there and gave it a go. Given the challenges you've been so open about facing, many people wouldn't have got that far. We can all understand how hard it must have been to make this video. I've had race results I've never been able to even look at, such was my level of disappointment!

[@stickcel67]

Hats off for getting this video and just being honest with your audience and yourself. Excellent idea to get back to what you love most and build from there. When we feel at rock bottom ( never mind that you we may not actually be at rock bottom) , the only way is indeed up. Don’t be embarrassed. Part of putting yourself out there is showing the highs and the lows. And so many shy away from that. We all relate to that. In many martial arts , the focus is on the journey not the destination. Each step . Counts. Well done.

[@staceysparks2599]

Hi Ben. Thanks for being real. I am a very average runner but just love being out there. Not so keen on the races but do them. It’s good to see that elite runners are real people too! I watch your channel all the time. You are an inspiration. And I enjoy seeing you and Sarah just enjoying the sport together. Love it. No need to be embarrassed at all.

[@jameshuff3757]

Very brave to be so honest, this is what makes you inspiring, the races are just a bonus, good luck getting back to the roads 😊

[@davidwatson7305]

Hey, Ben. New to the channel, saw this and wanted to comment and say that - having read the comments underneath - that we're all here for you. Running can be cruel sometimes, but know that there is nothing to apologise for or be embarrassed about. UTMB is a BEAST. The advice and content you're putting out is helping mere mortals like us, regardless of whether you're winning or DNF'ing. Take care of yourself out there, and know you're enough just as you are. Good luck with Valencia.

[@iterato1]

You toed the line and that took a lot of courage. You got far fighting for a chance to keep going. Nothing to be sorry for or to be embarrassed by. This race was so much harder than I imagined, so many opportunities for things to go wrong. Huge respect to anyone who starts it. Looking forward to following as your journey continues.

[@alexanderpope9355]

I said hi in Les Contamine, and despite feeling rubbish you had time for a friendly smile for me. The vibes you put out into the world through strava and your channel are awesome. Thanks for that.

[@ochtysia]

Thank you very much for this message! Take good of yourself 🙏 and never ever apologise. You and Sarah are awesome! Cheers! ❤️

[@BenParkes]

You’re so kind, thank you very much. 🤗 Wishing you all the best!

[@ochtysia]

And BTW, @@BenParkes, this messagr helped me A LOT 🤗 so sorry to know that you recorded it at such a massive cost, but I know you'll overcome what bothers you 💪

[@kimcavill8060]

Ben, I think this is the best video you have ever done. I completed UTMB this year but it wasn't the race I wanted despite an awesome finish. This was nearly a 10 year plan for me so to finish was more than enough. I saw Sarah towards the end too, she did so well. Anyway, this is a monster race and not one to assume you can do off the back of being a super strong UK runner. I have so much respect for you for owning the result and vring honest about you not being ready for it. Hopefully it will help people understand what it takes to complete this! You should do what you love too and if that means no trail for a while then that is awesome. It is easy to get dragged into other people's goals and ideas but if you love marathoning, then why not keep doing it!

[@drewhurst3643]

Big love to you and Sarah Ben. You guys were the first running KZbin channel I found about 4/5 years ago and still to this day my favourite, you advise has helped me a lot over the years so thank you 🙏🏻

[@markbaker7225]

Mate you could feel your energy pick up talking about road running and Valencia! Follow your heart bud, that’s where the magic is. Doing something “to make an epic video” will always come second to doing something epic for you! You’ve given us all so much inspiration bud, thank you 💪🤩🥰

[@jonraw28]

Ben, the fact you tried and didn’t succeed means your human. Since finding your channel, I’ve never been more motivated and driven as a result of listening to your positivity and attitude. The only failure would be not trying at all. Give yourself a break and take a moment to remind yourself of just how many people are in your corner. You’re a good man.

[@mmmay9278]

After going through my own mental health battles with running, it can honestly feel so heartbreaking and frustrating to see people pretending that it's all sunshine and daisies. These kinds of running goals are so incredibly long-term, and I wish more people would be honest about the external and internal factors that can "get in the way" of your running goals. We need more videos like this! Nothing but support from me and my SO, we are inspired by this just as much as all the other vids :)

[@snick1966]

keep doing what you do Ben, don't be embarrassed thats crazy, and no need to apologise. Good luck with the road races coming up. UTMB will always be there for the taking

[@Inordberg]

Just found your channel, but I just have to say I really appreciate your honesty. We all struggle from time to time and I try to stay away from social media because of the very curated content from many creators. So thank you from a Swedish trail runner! 🙏

[@MarcusKjellberg]

You will be back even stronger. Good luck with the marathons and love to see you taking on UTMB in the future. Hope to see you on the trails in the future!

[@robertwortmann2603]

You really don't have to be ashamed, you are a great athlete. Running marathons in under 2:30 is something most of athletes will never achieve. But I do feel you! A week after your UTMB I DNFd at SwissPeaks 100 at the first aid station after 3,5 hours sitting in around position 20. Why? Just couldn't do it anymore. A long and exhausting preparation while having three little kids and a stressful job, was just too much at that moment. I couldn't stand the pressure anymore and dropped out. I never regret the decision, we are all humans.

[@clareofafrica]

We're all behind you Ben! Thank you for such an honest discussion - it's easy to make a video when things go well, but perhaps not so easy to make one when things don't go as well as you'd hoped. Your trail videos are some of my favourite, so can't wait for you to get back on the trails (when you're ready!). I say this as someone who will probably never ever run anything close to UTMB, but it feels like I'm running it with you when I see your videos, no matter the results. ❤

[@DaveOwenEdinburgh]

You continue to show the most resilient of behaviours - acknowledging how things are. You're curious about occurrences and how they make you feel, and you want to learn more about them, rather than denying them and fuelling feelings that can be impossible to deal with. Your mention of suspicions about autism and ADHD prompts me to share that my own such suspicions were confirmed 11 years ago when I was diagnosed with autism. Part of the account of myself that I gave to the specialist at the time was that I was a runner, and habitually recorded and logged my runs, striving each year to better my marathon PB. I think that running as a pastime attracts this sort of people. To run at the level you do, you need to have a brain that drives you to a productively obsessive interest in a particular activity and to want to do it again and again, taking microscopic interest in the outcome. It's all growing. It's all learning. It's all training. Your videos about when things haven't gone to plan are my favourites, because they show you using what's just happened to add to the big map of the road you're on. I'm so relieved you're going to keep sharing your exploration of the map!

[@stephenmorton6732]

Ben you are such an inspiration. Honest, passionate, and caring about running and sharing with the community. I love your channel!

[@iberiksoderblom]

No need to apologize. What you do and how honest you are, is an inspiration. We all have races like that. It happens. Stay well and keep runnig.

[@SoorAurora]

The experience has taught you a lot. Try not to feel bad that you didn't 'succeed' at this - if success was taking away the lesson that you were given and learning from it, then you seem to have made a great success of it. You've reflected and have a new plan going forward on the basis of what you've experienced. Much respect.

[@tmaxtmax9861]

We love you Ben. Can imagine the pressure you feel doing these big races with such exposure. The truth is, we love that you are human and sometimes things go wrong on the big day. Embarrassing it is not, real it is. Keep going. Please.

[@Panasonic-paul]

If you keep being so harsh for yourself and creating your own pressure where nobody is expecting the things you think they are... you will never really fly and reach your potential. Back to the basics, and enjoy running for what it is. Running helped me recover from ptsd, and then when I started to take it to serious it just took all the relaxation away from it and every run became a race with pressure and all. Those days I leave my garmin at home. Hope you bounce back soon man, you are a inspiration to many.

[@RK80_]

Nothing embarrassing Ben! Be proud of yourself and head up. Best races yet to come🤝🏃‍♂️

[@creativechimp03]

Ben I meant to comment on this when I watched it a couple of weeks back. This video really was so transparent with raw emotion and I just wanted to say thank you for being so honest but also don’t feel sorry or that you have failed. With your running you have achieved more than 99% of us and no race defines you. As you put out content, no doubt it puts pressure on your shoulders to feel like you have to perform. Perhaps as you get back into trail running, take a few rare opportunities to not film, and enjoy them without telling us. I’m super proud to have seen your journey dude and I love the content. I’ll keep on rocking my Ben Parkes hats wishing I could only get close to your pace. All the best.

[@andrewjones8891]

You’re an inspiration Ben, your videos have pushed me on ! Don’t give up ! Good luck !

[@nolimitruncoaching9134]

No need for apologies for anything! You stood up to the challenge. No shame in being timed out, either! I know what you mean about processing the event, I couldn't talk about it for days and I only did the OCC! Recognising the elements to work on to be better for the next event and to support us lot! Run for you Ben. You're good enough ❤

[@russamehta]

This is the bravest video I have seen. I am in tears. Please don’t stop doing what you do. I love watching your videos because of YOU.

[@SamHerbert50]

Ben you are amazing!! Never think you’re embarrassing! Ive loved watching your videos for a few years now and you inspired me every time! Whether that be road or trail, you have smashed so many races along the way! Even when you haven’t hit a PB, you’re still teaching yourself and others how we can improve. Keep going Ben, never give up. Can’t wait to watch your next journey and where that takes you xx

[@stevehogg2103]

Don’t stop now, we love it just as it is, all guts and emotion 💙

[@cornellmans6362]

Nothing to be embarrassed about sir! You will still beat this beast. Wishing you all the best.

[@simonsharp]

Dont apologize Ben, your an absolute legend mate. Mental health can really stick the boot in when you least expect it.. it was most likely a mix of head not I right place and a underlying illness. You are one of the people who inspired to start running, its certainly been massive for me invoked positive lifestyle change, so thank you and keep doing what you love..........UTMB will still be there in a year or two

[@jessicalund9269]

Don’t feel embarrassed, Ben. You’re an incredible runner and huge inspiration to so many - your channel is a testament to that. You inspired me to take on the marathon a second time after I completely bombed the first time round, and seeing you ‘fail’ (not a failure at all) a race like this is a great reminder that everyone has their good days and bad days and it doesn’t make you any less of a runner. Keep your head up, don’t beat yourself up, UTMB will always be there waiting for you when you’re ready 💪

[@DeckardWill]

Hey Ben, I've followed your channel since very early on, and as someone who also experiences mental health issues (and has done almost my entire life), let me just tell you you're an inspiration and I have nothing but admiration for you. Regardless of what caused the problems you experienced in this race, it doesn't change our opinion of you. You're only human like the rest of us. If you're anything like me, you do put huge pressure on yourself and competitive as you are, that is unlikely to change. But try to see the big picture - well all KNOW what you are capable of and you have nothing to prove to us. We're proud of you.

[@kj17589]

You owe us nothing Ben. Hope you’re able to get back to your best soon. Good luck for the autumn season.

[@ElisaShaffer]

It's good for all of us to hear you talk through your challenges, frustrations, mental health, and all of the above. It's not at all embarrassing. We love you here! On a side note, have you done all six world majors? That could be fun if you haven't. We love you!

[@CorvusVal]

You don't need to apologise to anyone Ben. Your training in the run up to utmb was great, and you cracked out some great training runs. Sure you can always do more, and devoting proper time to trails will undoubtedly help. But you might have been able to get round if you hadn't had the energy/nutrition issues, and those could just have been a bug, a funny turn, or as you say, the pressure of the situation getting on top of you. Loved watching your training runs in the weeks before. Looking forward to seeing you smash it on the roads. Hoping we see Sarah's utmb story soon too! You don't need to apologise, we only want to see you succeed and hit your goals! Hope you can work through the mental challenges of all this and come out even stronger!

[@Pam-f8f]

I love your honesty here - my coach came back with COVID- so you never know! Your videos are awesome, so inspiring. Here’s to your marathon training going to plan.

[@beejtube1]

I'm 99% sure that I'll never do the UTMB .. I've run a few marathons and 26 miles is quite far enough for me!!! I loved your UTMB training videos and am so glad you made them - I was blown away by the beauty of those mountains, and it has inspired me to organise a group of mates to go hiking in Snowdonia next year, it's also re-awakened my running - I've just got a new pair of running shoes through the post and am going to start up again! So thank you!

[@ADAMBLAZEVIC]

I'm really sorry Ben, it must be devastating. To be honest I'm struggling with races this year, somehow I'm just too nervous and in some races the distances were not right and one time my bib did not work at all so I have one race left and I'm just kind of hoping that I can do what I can at training but I'm really nervous, and it is not like I'm at the front :) I also feel that this is just a mental issue, for me could be that the crowd just gives me anxiety, I feel that for a long time now that I don't really like being around a lot of people.

[@Megzbandini]

So brave of you to be so honest. You can just be proud. Looking forward to the rest, behind you all the way!!!

[@gerardswinley4736]

Ben you're an inspiration keep that chin up!