How to Trigger a Narcissist's Shame and Shut them down

[@narcabusecoach]

Master Co-parenting With A Narcissist: www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/specialoffer

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Thank you, Danish!

[@fatimaahmed445]

Thank you so much ❤❤ Bless you please make more videos on advice ❤❤ . My narcissist is I think mix of narcissists types please can you make video on it. It is possible that they can be mix c nar and m nar.

[@carmenpeters728]

I would like to know how the deprivation from a narcissistic father affects a female's life and development . Deprivation of emotional support, affection, nutrition, and safety. There was more than adequate financial income . Both parents survived heavy bombardment of WW2. So intergenerational trauma.

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

@carmenpeters728 that's a great topic!

[@fatimaahmed445]

@@carmenpeters728 I think my father is also narc

[@kaavya.krishna16]

Danish, you are doing God's work. The amount of validation and soothing feeling I get by watching your videos is next level. May God always bless you, protect you and you grow more and more in life.

[@KendiArana]

Amen 🙏

[@keithstewart7514]

I fully concur. Thanks Danish, may GOD Bless you for the good that you bring into so MANY people as we transform into the people our family NEVER wanted to see US Thrive much less than to have Survived!

[@maryzourides821]

Indeed

[@ronjaraubertochter971]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@shelleyemond1293]

Agree ❤

[@carparthero]

people who haven’t been in a narcissistic relationship have absolutely no idea about sinister they are. the most common response that i’ve gotten is “he can’t be that bad because he’s always nice to me”. if you reverse engineer that response, it actually makes sense. narcissists will cultivate and maintain a sparkling public image, so that next to nobody will believe you when you say you have been abused behind closed doors. in my lived experience, an excellent comeback i've used with the narcissist... when they make any ridiculous comment...respond with a blank face, no emotion, combined with "i wonder why you feel that way." it's like a tai chi move... they project their words, i dodge it, and their words go right back to them to deal with. another 3 comeback phrases to disarm a narcissist: 1-when they put you down: "that's your opinion of me." 2-when they accuse you of feelings you don’t have: "how you think is not my responsibility." 3-when they twist the story: "we obviously remember things differently." here's one way to call out a lying narcissist, is a comeback like this: "there is no need to LIE if we are trying to FIX what’s going on here! lying simply prolongs the drama." here's some reverse psychology you can try: when a narcissist makes an accusation, comeback with "i don't know what you're talking about, you'll have to explain." cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[@klejjxd]

Exactly! They cant explain anything. I used to ask them for any examples and he didnt have even one for what he was acusing me. He would just quickly change the topic while his body and voice been shaking.

[@helpinyerdasellavon]

Absolutely spot on! Adding to my list. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻💖

[@carparthero]

@@klejjxd agreed. narcissists are insecure bullies and petulant cowards when called out. all the best. -cheers, steven

[@carparthero]

@helpinyerdasellavon thanks for your kind words. wishing you all the best. -cheers, steven

[@weronikaasomsson2404]

⚠️❤️Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is Jesus coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤️🥹 Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤️He loves you like crazy! ❤️🥹 What saves us is trust in what He did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤️

[@prophet1782]

6:30 "They image everything". They also imitate people. Their speech, mannerism, body movements, facial expression, dressing. etc

[@uwenebotha1594]

Yes.They imitate other people.to such an extent.its a joke😂

[@mphok750]

​@@uwenebotha1594He watches someone explaining or commenting on a subject over and over and over...then talk about it like it's his idea or his way of thinking 😂😂😂

[@uwenebotha1594]

Yes.He does the same here😅

[@AsmitaSK-g3u]

V true, I just escaped one such person was absolutely a psychotic experience, initially I didn't understand they copied my accent etc started wearing clothes like mine, shoes but now I understand

[@uwenebotha1594]

Yes.They do.😮

[@gigiarmany]

I found using a knowing smile or a slight smirk without further explanation to be quite effective too.. just glance knowingly & half smile then turn away & never adress the issue...drives them mad🤣😂

[@Tee0928]

Unfortunately smiles or laughter with the particular one drove him to rage. It escalates with some and over the top reaction.

[@MakedaMix]

No one asks whether learning Jiu Jitsu or Taekwondo makes you a violent person or a criminal yourself. But you learn this to defend yourself against a violent person or criminal if you are in a situation you can't walk away from. So thank you Danish you are a blessing. Shalom

[@knittingpassion6106]

Narc has no shame because they are drama creater

[@gianaleah4054]

I completely agree

[@rileysmiley9585]

Yep🌊

[@Divyabaniwal-v8z]

Dear ple answers me kya ye log kud ko alone fell karthe rhthe he kya चाह कितनी be भीड़ क्यों ना हो

[@knittingpassion6106]

@@Divyabaniwal-v8z no they have lots of supply from friends and family

[@DanielleValenca]

So true

[@lauraantic1384]

They have zero shame and the worst is that they think they have every right to destroy if the words are not what they expected to hear

[@greentooth3097]

They are FULL of shame! That's why they need supply every second of the day to cover it.

[@__-fl3yt]

No, they are afraid of shame, they don't want the rest of the people to learn how evil they are is part of their games.

[@Earthether]

I’ve found you trigger a narcs shame they get violent

[@rajnibhatia6581]

Yes

[@abum3thedon]

😫

[@franken-pattern]

Agreed. Mine attempted to strangle me. Psychotic. I was having a serious conversation with him about getting clean off of dr☆gs because it was the hard stuff. I was scared for him. That was how he "repaid" my deep concern. Edit: Yes, we are divorced and live apart. There was law involved, etc

[@AngieDeAguirre]

I think this works with covert narcs...

[@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger]

@@AngieDeAguirre they don’t have respect for anyone.

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

🎯 I will only talk to you when you can talk to me as an adult

[@dsmusicbird]

I’ve tried things like this many times. At first it works, but then he just threw it back at me, and either started an argument or something else. It’s a great idea, but as every good thing with a narcissist, it doesn’t last.

[@Q-hv2cb]

Maybe works in a professional setting with much luck. But any child trying this will get their hearing abilities slapped out of them

[@donnaT-ti8vj]

An often comment from the narcissist is "I am a good person" I always say, if a person is truly a good person, u will hear others say it, not the person themselves

[@Bibleinformationandhelp]

I believe the "grey-rock" method works. Distance yourself from the misbehaving person or be unresponsive. If you do have to contact them, show no emotion. No yelling, arguing, or anything like that. Don't even defend yourself.

[@Jen-nc7fg]

Mine was so nuts that he would follow me everywhere still trying to fight. Then he would start the threats of harming pets, calling my dad to lie to him, evicting me, and on and on until I would have to call the police, who he would then lie to. If I tried to leave, he would block my car. If I succeeded in leaving, he would be even worse when I got back, or he would pack all his stuff and disappear to backup supply for several days, blaming me all the way. He would also leave on the occasions I had to call the police and then blame me, saying I left him no choice because I called the police, when he was the instigator of everything. He was so bad near the end that he started rehearsing fabricated stories he was going to tell the police if I didn't obey him, or if I had to call them. I wish recording without consent were legal in my state, because that would have led to a very different outcome for him. And as I've posted a few times already in other videos, when I told him I wasn't going to participate in his fight, he would often call me a hypochondriac. He had no idea what the word meant but kept using it, thinking it made him sound smart, when it did just the opposite.

[@Bibleinformationandhelp]

@@Jen-nc7fg If you aren't able to record him maybe you could write down notes of all the problems he caused you. Maybe that is permissible in some states. I believe a lot of narcissists truly have low self-esteem. If they behave uncontrollably, it is best to try to stay away from them for long periods of time. Sometimes, staying away for short time periods may do the job. Sometimes, you may have to stay away for a longer time. With some narcissists, they understand action better than words. I'm not telling you are narcissist is like a dog. That is very disrespectful. Please don't misunderstand me. With a dog, it doesn't particularly understand english. Dogs understand repetitive behavior. You can speak to a dog all day long. If you don't train your dog in a particular way, it won't understand you. What I understand, some narcissists understand some consequences. If you keep leaving when a narcissist acts wild, there's a possibility some narcissists will improve bit by bit. We have to understand that many narcissists have low self-esteem. Some may act very childish. One of the best ways to deal with a narcissist is no reaction and distance. No arguing. No defending yourself. No smiling or laughing. No frowning. If you do have to communicate with them, say as little words as possible and go on with your day. I believe doing this will frustrate them so much. It's not that you want to frustrate them. You just want the bad behavior to stop. If you feed into their bad behavior, what do you believe is going to happen? More than likely it will remain or get worse.

[@bellesterbeatty3571]

Grey rocking would not matter in my situation. He had a loud voice and loved to YELL. I used to look at him and think "What a moron!" Oh, he was big and bad yelling at me.

[@lizielita]

The best. Peace and love.

[@crystalmorse7412]

Facts That Has Worked 4 Me Also 💘 Thank u 4 Sharing

[@helpinyerdasellavon]

This is so helpful, Danish. You're so right. Narcissists use shame attacking their victims only to get their supply while we aim trying to stop their abuse defending our personal boundaries, not to hurt the narcissist, huge difference. Because they think they're perfect and know it all, I've also told them: "Since you're perfect and know it all, I honestly wasn't expecting such behaviour from you" with a calm tone in circumstances when leaving or ignoring them was not possible, more than one have shut up and suddenly left the room. The goal is to keep focused on the subject, topic or problem rather than making it emotional or personal as that's what they're after. The least we engage emotionally or personally with them, the better. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@nuggetnoobx7298]

I am a narc magnet and now a narc detector.... I also can't help provoking them haha

[@alectrona1613]

Now that I’m aware, I get a buzz out of saying NO to simply anything they want. In company they’re forced to smile blandly but beware behind closed doors!!😆

[@nuggetnoobx7298]

@@alectrona1613 lol that's funny

[@ElizabethWildy]

It sure is funny.... lolol....

[@lizielita]

My peace has the first priority in my life. It isn't funny to provocate conflict. There're to much of them in the world. I just distance myself from them and if I can't, then I play the grey rock. They need the dopamin fix of conflicts. I don't give them any. No reaction, no games, no provocation. Peace and love.

[@nuggetnoobx7298]

@@lizielita you are right I and 85% with you... I have to admit there id a small element I can't figure out if I want revenge or to show them to the world I think it's a bit of both more to show people

[@tessg5371]

My husband and I live with his elderly parents, his Dad is a vile narcissist. My favorite phrase that my husband employs with his Father when he is spewing rage is," Are you sure this is how you want to handle this?" I have seen him deflate many situations with this phrase.

[@staciesabatino3817]

Danish, Thank You. Today early we were driving to the store ( I try to avoid getting in the car and at one point I was walking 7 miles everyday to buy food) He was doing the normal verbal abuse and I said calmly what would your Father do if he heard you just now? Silence. It's exhausting to maintain calm all the time. Try to master your emotion. I'm 10 years in and it's hard. Wish all the best and love to all of you because you are not alone.

[@OptimisticSaturnPlanet-yz8mc]

Your not alone too😊Just find a way to get away from him please. You CAN do it!!!💪🏾🌹Blessed 🐝

[@helengren9349]

Please 🙏 try to leave! NOT worth giving Your energy & let NEGATIVITY grow! 🤷Try Atlant is SCA LAR . Contact her , she is in yt & has web site as well.. Blessings 🙏🕊️🌟

[@anons090]

You got s decent one then. Because some don't get shamed by that.

[@user-q992]

After nearly running down a poor cyclist, my narc husband blamed the cyclist, the car, the road and finally me, who was completely silent up until the near accident! 😅 When I calmly pointed out that none of this was true and he would have ended up in jail, he went crazy. After parking the car, he locked the car before I could get the shopping out. Then the silly, immature creature with no ego strength bolted up the road. It's bum going uphill at top speed as so comical that I couldn't stop laughing😂😂

[@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger]

😂 😁💕

[@ElizabethWildy]

They rarely miss an opportunity to expose themselves for the truly ludicrous beings they are. Im glad you enjoyed that moment.

[@francesbernard2445]

😀If he has been behaving like that all of his life to people I feel bad for you and the rest of his family. On the other hand after selling someone a vehicle while knowing full well it is a recall given how dangerous it is to drive already at 30 miles an hour speed I am sure both the narcissist and the used car delearship he works for and on top of that the company who built them all too each and every time they find out that someone was almost killed or killed while driving it in the city would be doing the exact same thing concerning the driver, the signs on road and any passengers present in that vehicle at the time instead of maybe the other driver of other vehicle in the accident instead while only at best saying to themselves, "We already told them all so." After some government agent from the crown long ago had insisted that a family man changes both his first and last name if he wants to get a paid job which isn't working in the military all of his life while taking away his children for good to be sent into a residential school until he finds one where nobody knows his true birth name then I am sure all thinking in the same train of thought following in the foot steps of that government agent and the crown long ago when often misdiagnosing the descendants of that family man with this and that might go so far as saying it is the whole fam damily from time immemorial who is at fault not the average guy at 50 during a midlife crisis after losing much of his eyesight to the welding all day lights and the losing a lot of his hearing too at work in the blue colar job he was sent to instead of only ever allegedly being according to the same in the past only a good for nothing gypsy instead. If it is only a midlife crisis taking Danish Bashir's advice while looking after your own health may start making him wonder if he should be for example going for an eye test and a hearing test too. Sometimes after going through a bad relationship for awhile some people in their twenties act like they are already in a midlife crisis for awhile until realizing how much they have to heal from instead of getting a putting them down reaction often from others.

[@CCelia1953]

❤you are só precious in your description! You just described my own husband NArC!!! I dó, and I'm sure Millions of others will appreciate!❤

[@chrisross-fd3fo]

If only there was another person in the car and they said something like ."Dude, you really sh*t the bed on that one...Where did you get your license?..in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box..I ve seen better driving from Muchael J. Fox EDIT :go ahead .. laugh..remember Michael mostly did comedy..yeah I know, i know ,...as opposed to me

[@jasonwood6313]

You name it They will blame it ! 💯🔥❤

[@MC-mk6gs]

💯🔥❤ DITTO

[@AsmitaSK-g3u]

Successful in eyes of others and so insecure.. Was really unbelievable

[@suzipesa2703]

Thank you. It's heartbreaking that I have to deal with a narcissist because we have two children. Can't wait to see them employed and fully independent young adults living their lives away from him. He is such a manipulative jerk that's trying to turn them against each other and both of them against me (a b***ch that dared leave him) but they are clever young people aware of the situation.

[@tabbylove86]

Bro ,finaly broke the traima bond and permanently left the narc.❤

[@flowingenergy7326]

Congratulations bro/sis 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@R73949]

Just permanently left them, this is the only thing we can do

[@mkp240]

"When you know how to talk to me/act like you got some sense let me know". Straight after this walk away Or go into grey rock mode if you cant live until they behave in a suitable way for you. "Besides throwing tantrums and ..... What else you got going for yourself" "If you keep...., im gonna be forced to..." "I will not be disrespected". Then simply walk away for good or until they grovel back to you. Also note that this all should be done with you in mind. Defend yourself internally before you even say any of this stuff externally because they are trying to create horrible Narratives about you internally and externally. So defend yourself internally and externally because if you dont their narrative will dominate yours, which will live you with faulty perceptions, faulty decision making and faulty habits. This is how Narcs keep you trapped So inside your mind your mind you can say "He/she is allowed to have their opinion, i know my truth". Demonize them in your head to keep yourself sane. "I get to decide whats best for me, thats not up to(narcissist name). Do this with all Narcissists/Toxic People In General, Colleagues, Coworkers, Parents, Teachers, Bosses Etc. Hope This Helps.

[@cynthialeahy5225]

Not able to use. This narc I live with, not romantic, is psycho and has come at me with abuse twice. Now have lock on bedroom door, wear key as Safety Necklace - never take off and always lock door. I appreciate you Danish. Another beautiful spirit helping us rising Phoenixs. Bless you 🙏

[@a.williams9]

Amazing advice, Danish. They always feel entitled to disrespect and exploit their victims and we're on our own right to defend our personal boundaries. "I will discuss the issue when you behave like a decent adult" is useful. The calmer you remain, the more it exposes their crappy behaviour. Also avoid explaining yourself in an argument with them as they see it as a weakness they can use against you. Remaining emotionless using short and sharp sentences in 3rd person limits significantly their chance to get their supply. Mindfulness meditation is helpful to gain awareness, focus, clarity, strength and self control. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@cameron.t]

😂😂😂 100%. In my case it was a narc in a professional setting. They freaked out over documentable communication and I quickly responded “due to your emotional and unprofessional response, I request no contact.” I can’t begin to imagine their reaction to being cut off at the moment they let go of any semblance of professionalism and showed their true color (or lack of it).

[@a.williams9]

@@cameron.t there's a lot of them preying at workplaces and that's an excellent response to shut them up in professional settings. Learning communicational skills is really helpful to deal with them. Thanks for sharing 👍🏻

[@YXL36]

​@@cameron.t did you voice/ video record their gaslighting yells & taunts?

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

I agree with you Danish. We must create our internal boundaries and integrity before we can calmly show the narcisist , basically, the truth of how absurd their behaviour is.

[@inakale]

exactly!!! when they come for supply, create pain and break their pleasure game 💯

[@perdidoatlantic]

My narc brother is an empty vessel. His whole being is a mirror of his father. If I say “your father hated you” he’s destroyed. And I get a few weeks of peace.

[@TobiOlorundare]

I called my ex a baby husband and he almost brought down the roof, Danish God bless you am so blessed come across your page

[@kathysmith4986]

Baby husband 😂

[@flowingenergy7326]

😂😂😂

[@xianning]

It is really hard to leave if you share a house with them, first I spend an insane amount of time selling my belongings (computers, games, instruments such as piano, valuables) because I don't want to leave him anything. Also the rent where I live is is not cheap. I am really trying to clean out most of my hard earned stuff before getting out.

[@khayakazidlamini6995]

One Day I will meet you and that is the promise. I don't think you realize how much you have helped me. Since January 2021. I Love you so much and Jehovah brought you in my life. I Thank you...❤❤❤

[@kerrytaggart8206]

Have done the “I wonder what so and so will think about this” and did get an angry but eventual compliance-that was an ex. I never realized that this was a technique. Yes. It did work. My narc sister said in an email after several that were slanderous, belittling, shaming and blaming. “I know that I have been a good sister to you but you do not want to see it that way”. She further went on to say “Your head is spinning out of control…You are so filled with hatred and jealousy…you will not find your answers in a church but when you decide to look into yourself and change.” Huh?

[@ekdaufin1485]

So beautifully explained and complicated! Validating in any case! Everything you say is right here. I would use different words. The narcissists I have had the misfortune to have to have contact with, worse yet rely on, feel no shame only rage. I think the reaction is that they are angry with themselves for not being in complete control, ESPECIALLY if someone is watching that they didn’t notice or think significant. Thank you!

[@Thelifeofchrisj]

I learn to keep like a rock powerful inside and on the outside affirmations and love yourself I have been scapegoated my whole life until I discover I am the goat keep pushing yourself become disciplined

[@Dr.ShaziaHanif-f8l]

Very informative respected Sir!

[@AsmitaSK-g3u]

I just escapee one cause I m pretty independent, talking to a friend who was going thru divorce help me recognize the pattern, listening to you is a relief that I took all the right steps in time. You should really spread it lile an awareness program

[@CORINNATORRES-ut4ug]

I can confirm this works. I use these tactics. Especially the one with the coworkers. It really makes them think. Excellent video! Not everyone can just leave.

[@Dr.ShaziaHanif]

Thanks alot for informing & giving worthy advice.I have been able to decide, divorce monster & protect my lovely daughters who went through so much mental & physical trauma.I have been able to get rid of disrespectful narcissist ex husband who has been destroying us & took custody of my lovely daughters.I have been able to gain control of myself,my daughters ,got out of financial crisis created by narcissistic family,rage environment created by toxic ex husband & in laws through your worthy guidance.May ALLAH pak bless you and our court system esp.my lawyer & concerned judges.It' s really very hard to get rid of such toxic predator.

[@deborahbennett-kagan5793]

Hi Danish, I think my mother was a Narcissist No matter what my sisters and I were going through, the only thing that mattered to her was how it was going to make her look in society. I have since had a narcissistic husband, who I did love, and currently a narcissitsic boyfriend who I do not love. He has made me see more clearly the impacts of narcissistic behavior on me because I don't love him. This is all hitting me like a tone of bricks. People throw around the term, Narcissist, so causally, but they cause such serious damage- how does one heal? D

[@imbalancedstatus8824]

I did that with a narcissist friend..we haven't spoken again...

[@sparkle6258]

Yes, I did this with a narcissistic niece. We, too, have never spoken again, and she then told others that she wasn't communicating with me, because I had "crossed boundaries." Haha. Narcissists know the lingo alright. Too bad they can't walk the talk.

[@Jen-nc7fg]

Congrats. You are better off. Nothing good can come from any relationship with these empty, childish, pathetic people.

[@Kimberley41658]

I as well lost my bff of 50 years from highschool. We no longer talk because of her narcissistic behavior.

[@Angelic102]

That’s God telling u the light has come in and your blessed and protected

[@realitycheck5376]

I have just subscribed today and left a comment on one of your other videos. I am working on having no emotional reaction to the narcissist in order to deal with him successfully. I am speaking of my younger brother and I am his brother. I now realize this is the main ingredient for success. I believe that, if he can't get to me emotionally, then I am free to deal with him as I see fit and his reaction will be powerless over me because I will no longer care about it. This is even considering that when I get myself to this point that I will then even care to be bothered with speaking to or dealing with him at all. So, for me at least, I feel this is the first step I have to take before I can accomplish anything with him, weather it be limited contact or complete separation. I have not spoken to him in many months and plan on not doing so until I know I can emotionally deal with him no matter how he reacts. This is if I decide to do so at all. Thank you for another great video.

[@Angelic102]

Thank u Danish May God bless u always 💖

[@Prudence-ce5pn]

God bless you and your family! I was on my way to this! You helped me so much to love myself the way I deserve! I'm still "testing" (LOL). Everyone here on the comments, to whom are true, my love to you all too! xoxo

[@MelissaCoup]

The Narcissist is always making your life hell. To give some discomfort back to them allows them to experience what we do. Otherwise they'll have no clue. This is the best channel about Narcissists, so sad Danish is the best because of first hand experience. I finally broke free, it's something I should've done years ago. It's my mother who is the Narcissist

[@ElixirOfLife-mm7kn]

You are a real empath who is talking about narc abuse, there are many other doctors and videos available (deep down I feel they are the narcs who is giving all these talks about themselves to lash out their negativity as if they are doing some social service doing those videos - it doesn't feel right and authentic) but yours - hats off!

[@JJ-pf3ok]

Hi Danish. Thank you. Love your work. I couldn't use the above techniques. I gave him a false sense of security. I was so vulnerable, I would never dream of leaving. He felt emboldened and and created a public scene which gave me my way out. He is most unstable. I needed to be patient 🙏 please ladies, don't endanger yourself or your children ❤

[@jennifera777]

Recently, the house manager where I lived sent me a childish text message. I used to respect this woman and apparently gave her too much credit for being a rational person. My response to her text was, "That was very professional of you to make such a statement, you'll eat your words. I used to have respect for you but now I see your true colors." This woman always had a comeback but she didn't that time, lol! I revealed to her that I saw her true self without attacking her and she stopped the behavior. I have since moved, thank God, by my choice. 😊

[@czeketa6140]

Thank you 🙏 for acknowledging that leaving is simply not an option for many people! There is no one online who approaches coaching narcissistic victims from this angle long term as a serious reality check.

[@elizabethmale1773]

Stated differently: trigger cognitive dissonance within the narcissist. I love it!

[@juliocastillo6962]

smooth, clear, and beautiful... Thank you!

[@FlickTh-Blu3]

Treat as you are treated ❤ that's it!

[@lisalasers]

i did your 1st theory one day and filed for divorce two days later. i just did it. all i would say to him was that i’m not going to fight and will talk when he calms down. he eventually became violent and i found my self-esteem to kick him out and protect the rest of my family. After 3 years, we’re still recovering.

[@matthewwozniak9138]

Some people live in an illusion to hide themselves from the truth.

[@rosycunha9671]

God bless you sir for giving the idea of how to be safe from a narciccist I'm completely tied by staying with a narciccist husband i and my son We fall sick every now and then don't know when I and my son will be free from him so painful life its very difficult to stay with with this type of people whole day blames fights have no words how much we are tied

[@HollyMarie72]

I only witnessed my narcissistic ex feel shame maybe three times in the 11 years we were together all three times he did the exact same thing he put his hands over his eyes like a little kid and literally ran out of the room and hid from me it was absolutely incredible

[@cameron.t]

🤣 They put on a big show because they’re children underneath. Once you see the wizard behind the curtain, you never stop seeing it

[@joannturi3968]

I've tried to do it in a logical manner. It seemed to sink in but the side of them, which is that dark side, still resides. It's a side of them that I truly believe that they find conform in. It's like their best friend so to speak. It was the way that they learned to survive. How can we even think that we're supposed to take that security blanket away from them? Perhaps the best thing to do is not to. Lucky the person that's never gotten themselves too deeply involved with such individuals where you can live in your own safe environment. I've established that much for myself in this life. I've seen the red flags when I started dating at an early age. I feel that they are capable of love but as time goes on and certain circumstances arise they then exercise that dark side of themselves more and more as a defense mechanism and also a protective shield to survive. Then after surviving, they use that pain and inflict it others. It becomes a part of their DNA so to speak. It has taken them over, and to even think about shedding that skin would be a total denial of their own existence. So it boils down to only accepting what you know will never harm you. I feel confident that by me being self reliant, I cam easily navigate my own self to adjust and adapt to many situations. There's much more important situations in this life to worry about let alone a troubled person. It's their own troubles that most of the time they will take it out on those who are closer or closest to them. So you are their security blanket so to speak. Just know that you have to put yourself first or else how can you be stronger for anyone else? Stay strong and stay focused.

[@Ericka11111]

Thank you for this information 💛

[@helpinyerdasellavon]

"There's something on yer bum" is a funny way to stop them suddenly 🍑😳😅

[@estherstohler]

The opposite of within is: outside of you or publicly. Without means: "nothing" or "without anything". Nevertheless, your Englisch is really good. ❤

[@pattyrooney1323]

Thank you, Danish.

[@audroniskulbokas4460]

Thanks!

[@rileysmiley9585]

In a calm, soft voice you can also say…”l don’t like your personality”…when they ask what you mean you should say nothing and never elaborate. Ignore them and work out or look at your phone and start smiling. Thanks be to God and Peace be with you.

[@prueaddy-z3r]

Just excellent today. Thank you💚 I was struck by my narcissistic partner, once will be always.

[@Mary-lk8eq]

Nice,video.👍, especially the emphasis with TESTING, EXPERIMENTING, GAGING,etc.Ahead of time.I was forced out of my shyness, by narc,so i can SURVIVE.Every day,their still trying to ruin my life,but i keep to my plans.I engage with strangers a little to network,increase my numbers,in case i NEED a helping bck up hand.This method has already helped me🤗.I learned this from the narcs.Although, Im still in the woods🔥, treading very softly to escape,hoping im not noticed, because they will come after me again.This is Very serious business 😢. Its like playing chess, checker,all the positions in foot ball, Russian Roulette,& being a soilder in war,ALL AT THE SAME TIME, while trying to keep a roof over my head🥵.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

You are so right!

[@lemsip207]

It's like a cat and mouse game. You think you have taken them down, but you have only won a battle, not the war. They will punish you another day for winning. I used to bat off their insults. It was like Alexei Sayle. In his sketch show where he plays a dandy batting off insults from an aggressive skinhead and says, "Better to be conceived by a miss than it is to be disconcerted." If you develop a boundary, they will use that against by insulting you about something completely unrelated so you don't see the connection.

[@טובהשרגא]

Thank you. I am using the sentance: " this conversation ends now! And wake outside to my matters. Also not responding to each Gaslyiting!(gray rock).i wish to learn from you how to stand infront shouting and rage.❤Thank you

[@athenagriego4561]

I just block, ignore and move on with my life as if they've never existed 😊

[@Tee0928]

Thx Danish! These tips are super helpful 😇

[@bostonjackson9384]

Thank you Danish, for all your advice and the time you use o make these videos. You are very helpful.

[@brendamoon2660]

" just leave" isnt good advice because people who were raised by narcissists attract more narcissists to them. The only way to escape abuse is to learn to manage narcissists.

[@DerSpielMann]

Nothing triggered their shame more than when I at one unforeseen occasion cordially shook hands with the brand new supply du jour, and giving away my most charming smile, turned to the ex narcissist and said with a wink "don't worry, I won't go there"😉 --+-+-+ instant uncontrollable rage! 😂😂😂

[@denabaldwin3935]

I have always tired not to embarrass him, maybe thats where I screw up on his constant temper tantrums? I will try this technique when he's having a fit & throwing & slamming doors. Praying this might help! Thank you for throwing me a possible life line😊

[@Pinkchinook909]

For example, I found that my husband was cheating on me. He knew that I knew. This afternoon when he told me that one of his workmate was to be married, I said:” Wish her best luck.” He walked away without a word.

[@ninacuk]

You still have sex with your husband?

[@francesbernard2445]

I found out the hard way that each narcissist has a different value system. Most exist in communal narcissism with that value system of theirs. The difference is how often they can move from one communal narcissism setting to a stated different one as if they did nothing wrong in the last one while leaving a trail of destruction behind them which our Lord called rotten fruits.

[@Michael_Arguello]

Yes, Danish, more videos like this. Tactics on the game.

[@aparna1170]

We loved them for whom they projected themselves as to is. And my narc made me like whom his folks would like. So he can request them to be inclusive of me. He doesn’t like so why he is asking his family and friends to be inclusive of me as I like their stuff. And their stuff also I liked genuine to be able to connect with him. That bondage is not going away.

[@andyserkiz3384]

In other words is about making you up and their down in the relationship dynamic. The opposite of what normally happens.

[@bobsanderz3005]

Fantastic advice, as always

[@uwenebotha1594]

Thank you Danish🙏from South Africa

[@MrRIK325]

Danish Bashir Thank you kindly for sharing. Born and raised in the WEST during 1967 tumult in EAST (Vietnam). My Father born and raised in 1933 Prussia. Long story short, Father became a merchant seaman. In the meantime SHARING such socio-cultural experiences. Per chance from the cosmology of Shinto, to the Philosophy of Confucius, and very similar teachings of Buddha and Jesus; something in between may have been missed? fyi My Father typically found peace and solace in the local Bahai.

[@jeanne7102]

Hi Danish. My problem is meeting narcissistic friends. It will be good if you can talk about narcissistic friends . How to spot their behaviour so we can avoid getting close to them. I have known this person for 40 years and only did I realise that she's a narcissist after listening and learning from watching your videos. It's something she did to me when she came back to my country for a holiday that triggered me she's a narcissist. I hope I am right . Thank you.

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

Ingenious. I will try it.

[@BrianMeeks-pv2xs]

" You name it they'll blame it". 😂😂😂😂 Facts

[@drux1596]

bro ur channel is amazing love u bro

[@robertmueller2023]

Who's ready for round one? Didn't know about the secret mentor/publicists?

[@samiaharb543]

The only way I control my narcissistic husband is to have my cell phone on hand and threaten him to call 911

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

Get out! 😳

[@flowingenergy7326]

Even this doesn't work on mine

[@juliesmith8645]

Brilliant idea. I will use this advice.

[@cindys.9688]

I've handled my narcissistic mother and sister by telling them the *truth*. Oh boy, a narcissist hates that! I'll take it for awhile. The berating or whatever. Fine. But in my mind I'm strategizing. They've been mean to me since forever. I don't say something back all the time. I stay silent. Not because I'm scared or don't know what to say. Oh, I know what to say. I just wait. Maybe it's in the present conversation. Maybe it's in a later one about the same thing. But I'll say something. I make sure I use a low-key voice, concentrate on my body language and remain calm, and make my comment short and to the point. The comment has to be relevant to the subject. No going off on a wild tangent. I use their truth against them. They can't disagree. They have to face it. And thankfully it shuts them up. For the meantime. Might have to do it again. Depends on them.

[@daniellemuaddib8016]

excellent thank you

[@annchege-hq4fy]

l have decided not to travel with him in his car because he gets a chance to ashame me.I have also declared not to do anything for him whatsoever.l am self reliant because l am working.Since he has decided to use money as a weapon I have decided not to ever let him use my money,time and energy.I have decided to love myself.Even if he talk nonsense I just leave.This way I have started healing.I cannot allow myself to go into depression for a third time.

[@christinemunger7054]

Danish, could you please do a video on this: I left my husband of 25 years a year and a half ago. I haven't pursued divorce yet because we have an underage child... I am keeping the peace. I'm getting hoovered ever since he realized the anger and other tactics didn't work. My question: he's being perfectly nice and charming ever since I left. I stay grey or yellow rock and I wonder this: is he feeling resentment because he's having to work so hard for so little supply? He invites me to lunch and pays. He offers to help in ways he never did while we were together. How must he feel with so little payout?! Thanks for all your informative videos! Cheers, Chris

[@Kaal.raatri]

It's not the action.. it's the reaction that seperates normal and abnormal people. And we all know how healthy individuals and narcisstic people react differently to shame as well. Their apologies are the most shallow and hollow things existing on earth with absolutely no purpose at all.

[@gailhare790]

I sent my narcissistic neighbours into hiding, then they moved and rented out thier house during the middle of a court case we filed. We then went back to court and granted an order to send documents to them via email.

[@liezebartsch-wx2wf]

I just listened to a nurse saying she sat by the bed of a dying man. He told her: please put your finger in water and put it on my tongue (just as the rich man in the Bible!) All the nurses ran out. Then he said: My feet are burning as in flames! Then she said to him: You don’t have to go there, please confess your sin while there’s time!! He said: you can pray for me but I have nothing to confess. Then she said there came a very tangible evil in the room and soon he died a horrible death screaming. It’s terrible if someone cannot acknowledge their sin or confess it and yet God is merciful but He is a God of TRUTH!! Pride is what caused Lucifer’s fall and every other Hell bound sinner. Sun is not keeping people out of Heaven for the Lord paid for sin by His blood! It is pride!!

[@MC-mk6gs]

My community including authorities enabled him go Queensland go 👍

[@claudpirros1321]

What a video wow I wish you would have been around during my 17 yr marriage to this crazy man

[@ZoeBlunt]

"How about we talk about this when we both can behave like grown-ups."

[@Fonn-ig1hc]

Set boundary with myself first..learn to .relax. "When-you-then-you" I told my kids. If they yelled at me my parenting instructor told me to withdraw and wait till they got respectful. "How do you get what you want from me?", "Ask-and-wait". I call these 3 "My 3 pronged parenting skill". Kids will try their bullying tactics on a tired single mom. I'm a musician and we went all over and had fun, I read to them before bed...etc. One daughter loves me, but not the other who blames me for her mistakes..."You never warned me if I run away from home I'd be put in juvenile detention! "(You never gave me a coat, you never cared, made me live in the woods)" 😅. Still to this day she's mad I made her tell the judge the truth that she lied about me.😂 She now has 2 girls and she's gone no contact with me 3 times. Parents, kids can be abusive to you as teens because their prefrontal cortex isnt fully developed until mid-twenties, and mom (target) is their excuse for their bad decisions. I told her lets talk on neutral ground. No, she won't. She spreads gossip about me all over town. My turn to go no contact.😊. Have a good day! And ,"Thank you!".

[@macareuxmoine]

I think the crux in this lies in what you say in the end: the technique is best used once your nervous system has healed. I’m afraid most of us are far away from that. How you could master that while still being around the narc is a mystery to me.

[@MrRIK325]

Danish Bashir, Thank You kindly for sharing. Mama is afflicted such disorder, yet I can not leave such as she is a very healthy 84 years old (-narcissim) and I am very healthy 58 "mama's boy". Her "shortcomings" are unfortunately mine as well. HOWEVER if She keeps Striking me with ...