Narcissist's Wife-Deanna

Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Deanna, the ex-wife of a narcissist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
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#survivorstory #narcissist #interview #documentary #softwhiteunderbelly #marklaita #florida

[@itsjust_deanna]

I just wanted to take a moment to thank Mark so much for allowing me to share my story. The week since this was posted has been an emotional rollercoaster. I had no idea how many people would see this video and the response that it would get. I've tried replying to as many comments as possible to thank all the kind, supportive, amazing people and survivors who have left encouraging words and shared their stories with me as well. I want to continue sharing, growing and learning from my past. As well as bring awareness to these issues and help others that are going through similar situations. It's ok to talk about what you have been through, it's ok to ask for help, it's ok to forgive yourself and others. Most importantly it's never too late to change your life for the better. Thank you again ❤

[@cleancarasmr83]

We’re all here for you! My heart is with you. I’ve been divorced from mine for 7 years, but we have a child so I’ll never be rid of him. Much love!

[@reneebandfamily]

Got me wanting to be a better person 🥺🫶🙏🏽🫂

[@JTLeyva]

❤❤❤

[@teeners8889]

Powerful interview. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are so proud of how you turned things around. Wishing you and your daughter nothing but the best ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@teeners8889 Thank you so very much 💖

[@karenrollins9578]

If you’re gonna leave a narcissist - it’s almost always something you have to prepare for. You play stupid, you play helpless, you play naive. And you plan. Then once you’re out - NEVER LOOK BACK

[@yassiej8]

Agreed.

[@kerstieamiya4880]

It’s so hard not to get emotional & frustrated then in* anger etc you yell out everything you’ve been planning then said plan is ruined & you have to start all over & try even harder

[@SW-Lopez1980]

Karen Rollins: I agree! And people after you leave, Never look back entails NOT calling them, STAY AWAY!!!! Many blessings to you🙏

[@palladium607]

Yep

[@Aperson-ki2hl]

💯💯💯

[@kyliebaby1391]

She’s the definition of the lotus flower, she fought through all the mud and shit, through elements designed to kill her, to grow into the most beautiful (inside and out) flower the sun could shine its light on. You’re incredible and deserve all the happiness in the world ❤

[@citizenbeeswax7985]

Omg, that is so beautiful! Will you please marry me?

[@grottoserpentina9342]

@kyliebaby1391 Before reading your comment I was going to write something similar; then I said nope; Your comment/words are the most beautiful..and poignant. I hope Deanna reads your comment.

[@hitzoneproductions7858]

You don't know her. You watched an hour of a story that she told you only her side of.

[@kyliebaby1391]

@@grottoserpentina9342 they came to mind watching her. She could be so angry at the world but instead shows her beauty.

[@kyliebaby1391]

@@hitzoneproductions7858 I’m sorry was there a video with all the ppl who abandoned and abused her? I must’ve missed it. I’d almost think this channel was for us to take a glimpse into someone’s life. It’s easy to show outward beauty but hard to come across as authentic when your faking internal beauty. I stand by my initial thought and if I’m wrong I’ve hurt nobody. Here’s a hug you obviously need it 🤗

[@libragal1750]

She's telling my story. I'm 4 years narc free and still healing from the trauma. So happy she found the strength to break free as well. ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m so happy for you 🙏🏼♥️

[@Ms-Jones]

"You have to learn to forgive ppl who aren't sorry." Powerful words

[@rppope1006]

I've actually learnedand listened to God. He does not forgive narcs and neither should we. Some unintentionally hurt others. They can be forgiven. Narcs seek to destroy you. Ask me how I know

[@httohot]

@@rppope1006 god forgives everyone.......god is beyond human and not bound by the same petty rules. Human find it hard to forgive, god does not. Do not make god out to be as petty as the average human...... You can just as easily be a narc and not know it, thats how being a narc works....

[@mr_dunne_author]

​@@rppope1006facts

[@PrinceAmir206]

💯💯💯💯💯💯RS

[@tammys8711]

@@jacobus57…that’s reconciliation, its different. Forgiveness isn’t transactional at all. From God, it is freely given through Christ, when we do it, it is with humility and to imitate Christ….and it usually takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

[@asia1360]

NEVER tell a narcissist that you are leaving. Just leave quietly.

[@itsjust_deanna]

That’s what I tell everyone now. Never let them know your plans.

[@karkar106]

That's what my mother had to do and my cousin's mom

[@desireegonzales6600]

That’s what I had to do, but he continues to try to make my life hell 1 year later…

[@Zara-r5m1r]

Why?

[@monysugardogs8959]

How he managed to convince her she isn't beautiful is beyond me. Even with her childhood and her mindset, the very first thing I noticed in this video was how gorgeous she is. I thought it throughout the whole video, she's so so pretty. Everything about her is beautiful, and I'm so glad she can see that about herself now.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you. Most importantly I’ve learned there is so much more than that. ❤

[@monysugardogs8959]

@@itsjust_deanna Absolutely there is, your inner strength is the most beautiful thing about you, it shines through and makes your surroundings lighter. Congratulations for getting yourself through everything, it sure wasn't easy.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@monysugardogs8959 Thank you 🙏🏼

[@WillBlindYouWithLight]

Everybody tells me this too, but I disagree. That's what men like that do. They always pick the most beautiful, strong, intelligent, creative, and talented, good hearted women. That's their specialty. And they play mind games, gaslight, and twist all we say because they can't communicate, and tell us we're the problem. It's all our fault. They hate our whole family and we're just like them but they only love us. I never was taught that people can and will do this to people they"love". Nobody taught me, that the one person you trust me than anyone else, and are supposed to be protected by could do things like that. Now I know the truth. And you can only recognize these things in others if you've been through it all yourself. I hate this world, not just because of the greed, the hate, and the broken systems. It's because for some reason, a person can be screaming at the top of their lungs in a crowded place and nobody cares to help. They only point, laugh, and judge, and join in with the abusers. Treat us like we're crazy. And he always used the word, "dillusional", which was not in my vocabulary. Now I know, the only people that do have that word in theirs and use it, are the type that traits attention from themselves, and then it to others. 😢 There are famous women this happens to also. Sharon stone. Shania twain. Sandra bullock. And they also cheat and bring stuff back to us, when we're being loyal and not cheating. 😢 it's the hardest thing to keep yourself, I'm but a shell now. Just because the outside is gorgeous, doesn't mean we're not tainted. Please remember this. ❤❤❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@WillBlindYouWithLight I completely get what you are saying. It’s all so true especially the part about people watching instead of helping. That’s why I keep speaking out about all this. I want people to be aware of what is going on and how deeply it affects people. The more educated people are the more they are willing to help. Unless they are part of the problem too of course.

[@kategilpin5982]

My mother was a malignant narcissist. I was probably 60-something before I began to realize how ill she was, and what the effects had been on me. I was 56 when she died, and my reaction was sheer relief.

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that type of parent. I completely understand how you felt when she passed. I hope you have been able to heal ♥️🙏🏼

[@slofty]

Malignant narcissism is not an illness. A psychiatrist cannot treat it. Still, I am sorry what you went through.

[@LisaLisa0624]

​@@sloftyIf you don't mind...What do you think or know narcissistic personalities to fall under then? If not a mental condition? Deliberately Abusive? Intentional Harm & Hate ? Just Simply Evil? That sure is what it feels like ... just curious...

[@SanctifiedLady]

@@sloftyit is a mental illness… what do you mean it’s not an illness? Some cancers are malignant and aren’t treatable

[@SanctifiedLady]

It’s sad my mother just passed this year and I found out a few months before she passed that she was covert and she didn’t even know why she was the way she was…. I believe it is a demon.

[@TBRCHUD]

This was great. If you've never been with a narcisist it's almost impossible to describe how insane you feel, and how hard it is to know whats real.

[@itsjust_deanna]

So are 100% right!

[@jessicaliltxn3295]

💯💯💯💯

[@johnpeters1053]

Narcissist = a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. I guess I’m an narcissist. This word is used by bitter women who couldn’t control an man

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@johnpeters1053 That’s exactly what a narcissist would say. Congrats on exposing yourself 😘

[@jessicaliltxn3295]

@@itsjust_deanna 🤣😂😂🤣😂 Exactly

[@hollyd2040]

It’s time to start holding these adoption agencies accountable

[@merriferrell2818]

I was privately adopted. Records sealed. Decades later my mother said if I was a boy, the doctor would keep me, if a girl, he'd give me to them.

[@christonpo2336]

This 👏 there is something deeply wrong with this system.

[@tschell89]

Amen

[@doctordef324]

​@@christonpo2336 yeah MONEY!!! ALL FOR THE MONEY!!!!!

[@itsjust_deanna]

Couldn’t agree more 🙌🏽

[@katie3569]

Anyone who has dated a narcissist understands. Stay strong! You are amazing!

[@itsjust_deanna]

I appreciate your kindness 💖

[@dawwilliams8024]

Melania Trump?

[@HeedGodsWord]

I dated a narcissist when I was 18-21back in the 90's. I was very naive and also low self-esteem. He was handsome, outgoing, told me I was pretty, etc... but he was very possessive, took my virginity, played games, always accused me of lying (when he was the liar), threatened to commit suicide if I left him, hired people to watch me, etc... He made me believe that his happiness was wrapped up in me. I was able to get out of the relationship finally when some friends did an intervention. It's a miracle that he didn't show up with a gun to kill me because he was capable, I shudder to realize. I was so naive. My friend took me for group counseling at the battered woman's shelter. That's how I began to heal from it because I was learning that this is not all that uncommon for people to suffer from abuse in relationships.

[@teressamckinnie6878]

@@HeedGodsWord thank God you got out! Best of luck to you. I really hope you can finally find some peace and contentment now that you are free. Just keep going, keep believing in yourself and never give up on yourself. Try to remember the manipulative ploys that were used to gain favor and get things, whatever it was that he took from you. Whatever it was, you can get it back and more. Take care of yourself. First. 💛🥀💜

[@HeedGodsWord]

@@teressamckinnie6878 Aw, thank you for your kind words! That is so true that I should not forget the manipulative ploys because I have encountered it a few times in people and my red flags go up. Thank the Lord, because I am very happy to say that I have found healing in Jesus Christ. Took me 20 years to finally surrender to the gospel that saves. I never knew I was lost until the Lord convicted me by His word and He delivered me....I mean, He really delivered me from all the junk I was carrying for years that cost me a divorce and never having kids. Now, I have a godly husband who knows he has to answer to God for how he treats me. (And the same for me too!) God's been very good to me. You seem wise, I bet you've experienced a few things. Take care!

[@bindibud23]

While listening, I kept thinking: if I'd had a child with my narc husband, this is what my life would have been. You are so strong, Deanna! I am cheering for you!

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much! Yeah having a child definitely makes things harder and more complicated. I’ll never regret having my daughter as she is my entire world. But I never recommend having a child wish this type of person.

[@gamigam2718]

so you do have a narc husband? leave!!!

[@bindibud23]

I did! Thanks!@@gamigam2718

[@mschellylove3588]

@@gamigam2718it's not your place to tell someone to leave a relationship.

[@gottogoalltheway]

​@@mschellylove3588 And it's not your place to tell someone they can't say what they want. So there's that Lefty

[@missmyoldhandle24]

I am a PTSD therapist at a domestic violence/sexual assault crisis center and your story is one that I will share with my clients. You so eloquently describe how people become vulnerable to abusers. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your bravery. and thank you for fighting to leave so your daughter and the child in you can heal. You are amazing

[@missmyoldhandle24]

@@itsjust_deanna Wow...that is extremely thoughtful. I sent you an email

[@winros]

Can people just have traits of narcissism? Sometimes it rubs off from The narcissist who is in your life. That's what happened to me! It took a long time to heal however, I did pick up a lot of his narcissistic traits and I have to be very mindful because that's not who I am.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@winros Absolute everyone can have narcissistic traits. But the difference is that a true narcissist has almost all the traits and it’s the core of who they are.

[@winros]

@@itsjust_deanna Thank you! ✌🏼

[@missmyoldhandle24]

@@winros everyone can have symptoms of most disorders, but for a diagnosis, the person has to have a certain number of symptoms/criteria that the DSM-V lists. Also, what most don't know is that cluster B personality disorders, like npd, are usually a trauma response from childhood and sometimes is treatable. The therapist, though, almost always has to be very skilled in DBT before progress can be made

[@ka_r_ma7572]

For anyone who's never been sucked up into the net of a narcissist, it's almost impossible to understand why people "fall for it". Dating a narcissist is a whole different experience that scars you and changes you for ever.

[@MeenaHarlow-kx4fz]

Professor Sam Vaknin breaks it down very well.

[@FLJ777]

💯

[@jsopar]

!!!!!

[@TimDwg]

Amen! My ex wife did massive damage to my mental state and I’m still working on putting the pieces together. The scars she left behind will last a lifetime. It’s difficult to imagine you’d ever be in that place until you’re in it. Then you wonder how you got there.

[@ashleaa8195]

Thank you for that statement... I was married to a narcissist for 10 years. It was hard, and still is.

[@candice446]

Thing is, narcissistic abuse from a partner is so bad that words can’t even describe it. As sad as her story is, it doesn’t come close to what she actually went through.

[@sussybaka551]

Facts... because it's NOT just the narcissist... the system continues to re-victimize those of us who have already endured more than what most would imagine is "too much". Hence suicide uptick which isn't just about the biased idea of "mental issues" or "addiction". Victims of narcs don't inherently have mental issues. Crazy world... but I love this channel because it SHOWS from personal accounts, the veracity of variables.

[@karenemoug]

You're absolutely right. I ended a 5 yr relationship with a narcissist and moved back to my home town. He had never met most of my family so he couldn't find me. I haven't dated since. It's been 9 years.

[@LoLuvLo]

That's the truth, you're lucky if we can even explain everything we have went through etc she did an amazing job but her story is barely even half of it you're absolutely right

[@80sbaby90]

True

[@petiteTana]

So very true

[@Simouno]

As someone who stuck by a narcisist girlfriend for almost decade, stealing all my teen age years and the early part of my 20s who only recently is recovering, I can say that the worst thing about being with a narcissist is the constant guilt you feel while you are the one being victimized. Narcissists are so selfish and evil that they won't even allow you to pull yourself back up since you are in a constant swing between the pain they cause you and the suffering they make you go through thinking you are the one hurting them and so they justify their behavior. Thanks Deanna for making me feel less lonely while I go through my journey hoping to fully heal one day ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

You describe it so accurately. You definitely aren’t alone. There are so many in these situations or healing from them. You will get there in time, just keep moving forward and never look back. Wishing you the best.

[@Simouno]

​@@itsjust_deannaThank you so much for giving me strength throughout your story. You are a wonderful human being that didn't let her terrible experiences overshadow everything awesome you had inside. I will try my best to use my own trauma to become the best version of myself too. Wish you and your daughter the best, you deserve it ❤❤

[@DING1o1]

I just away from mine, same situation. All my teens and early 20s. She’s a soulless monster

[@Nezukokjyuro]

Finally left my extremely narcissistic ex so grateful..

[@Everythingisworkingout4me]

Deanna is breaking generational curses and setting a new course for herself and her daughter. I hope her life just keeps getting better and better❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m trying to 🙏🏼

[@lisahillman943]

​​@@itsjust_deanna nothing in this world is going to stop you. I'm sorry about so many things. I hope one day you get to know the true Christ. A toxic church can be very destructive and a good one can be very healing. You are so intelligent and beautiful. I hope one day you can use these horror stories to help others heal. Thank you for sharing.

[@jessicabalderas3720]

You can do this your so beautiful and God has a plan for you

[@studiscool88]

It's hard

[@Attached764]

​@@itsjust_deanna ❤❤❤

[@priscillasimpson6070]

The worst part about sharing one’s narcissist encounter is how difficult it is to explain to others. Especially those who have never had a relationship with a narcissist. In the end your still the one that sounds crazy.

[@itsjust_deanna]

I couldn’t agree more.

[@rv706]

Was your abusive ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@rv706 Are you speaking to me or the person who left the original comment?

[@Alaitha]

​@@rv706noone gets formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder unless they seek out therapy themselves AND their narcissism is objectively ruining their own lives (that they can't keep a job, they mess up their finances, they're unable to sustain relationships with other people etc). Most narcissists will never admit to being "the problem", as being unable to even think of that as a genuine possibility is part of the diagnose. They will not seek help for their own sake. They will only use therapy as a weapon against their "loved ones" if they ever decide to go. They will also easily manipulate psychologists who are not specifically trained to spot narcissistic traits and spot narcissistic abuser-victim dynamics in couple's therapy. Check out Dr Ramani on youtube if you'd like to learn more about narcissism from a clinical point of view.

[@Bubblesrv81]

Right 😔

[@chioma2983]

She is so grounded and strong. Dealing with a narcissistic partner is extremely exhausting. Especially when children are involved.

[@80sbaby90]

Tell me about it its absolute madness 😫

[@L8bloomerr]

Currently there are no issues because I haven't started dating and trying to heal first. But I know once I do start dating it's gonna go downhill

[@PardonMyPresence]

But you CHOSE your partner!

[@L8bloomerr]

@@PardonMyPresence maybe look up info on narcissists

[@PardonMyPresence]

@@L8bloomerrIt always takes 2. You should look up vulnerable narcissists as well.

[@bellarose6218]

Such a beautiful, well-spoken lady. I hope she has found peace and happiness ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you, I truly have ✨♥️🫶🏼

[@LaurieMarian]

@@itsjust_deanna💕🙏🏻💕

[@MsTweakk]

It's so wild to me how you truly can never tell somebody's struggles. This woman is perfect, she looks perfect, she speaks perfect. And to know when she was a child she was sad, scared and isolated just breaks my heart. Ultimately these struggles must have really created a diamond because I can't see how anybody wouldn't love this woman. I love her.

[@jonnylevy1181]

This is the comment I was looking for. I agree. Love her

[@krimezofkolor4683]

Nobody is perfect that’s the only thing i disagree with

[@paulalowery7411]

Yes, she is very well read and seems very articulate in her speech to have not been educated. I see her parents hiding them inside to cover up the abuse...not wanting the kids to speak to anyone. I don't think it was "racism", or why adopt kids of other races? In this case it sounds like the boyfriend and his parents were the ones who were the racists..

[@leeanne1457]

​@@paulalowery7411sounds like she adopted these kids of different races so that she looked like a Saint "helping the poor black babies"...it was for attention.

[@abigailhoward9312]

she’s a soldier for not telling her mom so that she wouldn’t feel bad. i would have done a whole monologue. like girl you left me to the WOLVES

[@Dammielola]

Me too 😂

[@jimmychoo0]

OMG girl yes, she said they lived on a lake too. Seems like they were in a better situation. “Mama, save me”.

[@Jae-by3hf]

no but same! lol! Deanna is such a sweetheart! Thinking of everyone but herself!

[@jabrown1978]

😂 Right! And I’m bringing ALL the receipts too 😤….TF lol

[@nicoleclavel3876]

it shows how empathetic she is. caring about her moms feelings more than her own 🥺❤

[@rachelb315]

Her trauma kept her waiting for someone else to rescue her every time she was hurt and abused. I am glad she finally came to her own rescue. Well told story!

[@elenisiopi2033]

Absolutely spot on

[@latinfly1977]

💯% and she seems like a beautiful person who's been through some of the ugliest things.

[@amymoore1512]

I've been there and I think her brain was pretty much scrambled. I left after being in her situation. I got through it by hanging out with positive people and watching comedy. I filled my time with laughter. I still don't date because a narcissist will never stop

[@verityhermawan4031]

I had an affair w/ someone I believe to be narcissistic. I feel for you just as I felt for his wife. He made me feel like we had a special connection but really when push came to shove he wasn’t going to leave his wife. I feel u r that wife and I am not in competition or envious of u. I pray from both of u to grow…. To know when people r loving u in a possessive way vs a unconditional way. And for the narcissist, to know the difference between attention and true love.

[@KeyonnaD]

This is so key!

[@carliek3568]

Sounds JUST like my ex boyfriend. He cheated on me all the time and started to become abusive. He left me for another girl after 4 years who was my friend and I tried to warn her, I’m just happy I got away. It was always a weird compliment and then a stab like “you’re book smart but you’re not common sense smart” or “you’re pretty but you’re too skinny”. I FEEL for this woman, I can only wish her and anyone else who has been through this HEAL ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m sorry you ever had to deal with anyone like that. You are smart because you got away and now you know what to look out for. ❤

[@aspire2begreat938]

I really hate when a person tells me I lack common sense it's really the deepest dig

[@callalilly1988]

Girl, did we date the same guy? That book smart comment, word for word, exactly what he said to me.

[@Kanooodledoodle]

I started crying when she was speaking about meeting her biological mother and telling her that her life was good, just to protect her mothers feelings. I wish her all the best in life going forward. She deserves it. ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you 💖

[@lessismore6549]

I know, such a heartbreak of a story. I hope she finds happiness ❤ She is such a sweet person and gorgeous looks

[@cierawilcox4651]

same here, you are so strong and I hope that you stay with with people who make you happy 🥰🥰🥰

[@FlowerGrl20]

@@itsjust_deanna that moment when you mentioned not hurting your biological mom really hit home. I have a good relationship with my mom… and I would never want to be cause of her pain. Like her ended up with a narcissist and thought abuse was normal. To this day I just want to protect her and not let her know any hurt.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@FlowerGrl20 No matter what we always get to protect those that we love ❤️

[@myjavacrown]

‘You have to forgive people who aren’t sorry’. Wow. No truer words spoken.

[@itsjust_deanna]

If not you will never be able to move forward.

[@nataliasantamaria6817]

This made me cry when she said it but it’s so hard

[@yanna1993]

For me that seems impossible. But the older I get, the more this statement is true

[@maryelyearick7572]

Easier said than done 👍

[@krisquigley4497]

@@maryelyearick7572 For sure.

[@natalyazhd8608]

How does someone turn out to be so nice after going through such horrible childhood and younger years is beyond me. I am wishing her all the best ❤

[@brwynn]

I would say GOD!!! Just like everyone no the difference between night and day! Just like Satan exist GOD does as well. He created everything and everyone. He has no beginning or ending. The Alpha and Omega. Jesus is coming soon.

[@craigslist6988]

it might be pessimistic, but tbh I think she's a narc. She shaped the story to avoid certain things you can infer she was doing. The same way she describes the husband and mother doing when talking to others. A key to me is looking from the daughter's perspective. Did she ever do what was best for her daughter? f no. Oh I'm staying with this abusive narc because of my daughter? Remember before the daughter was born she used a different excuse? She cares about her daughter in so far as it affects how she looks to other people. She wanted things from that relationship and didn't care if it affected someone else so long as she could make it appear she wasn't being selfish. Like any narcissist. So the answer I would guess is she's not such a nice person.. she is a narc, a product of other narcs, and unless she is self aware and counteracting that behavior she is as bad as any of them. The irony on narcissism is that narcs hate other narcs more than anything, and they completely miss the irony because everyone believes they're a good person. That's why there's so much evil in the world, all humans are innately blind to their own evil. Even if people claim to want to be good, how can they be.. as far as they know, they are.

[@christinaslate1865]

Nah . Don’t bring a sky daddy into it

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@brwynn Daddy God has and continues to help me through so much. He got me to safety from a narcissist. A junkie who had physical abused me.

[@taylordicaprio-zeppetelli6918]

Because you don’t want to be anything like the son of a bitch who abused you. But in the end it screws you to be so empathetic and you have to learn a bit of the coldness that you’ve never wanted to be or have in your life again. And you honestly feel sorry for the miserable ppl who do this to you because you know they are sick. It’s a real weird dynamic. All you want to do is give & feel love that you never got.

[@happyinscarolina]

The fact that you endured so much with your adopted parents but didn't blame your biological mom shows what an amazing women you are. You could have been bitter towards her, but you chose to show her grace and kindness. It speaks volumes about you as a person. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. 🙏🏾💛

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much for listening to my story and for your kind words ♥️😊

[@kitanochapo22]

I like how you worded that. I cannot type what I think because I am very empathetic for adoptive children although I am not. Good job. 😂❤

[@vwbeep]

I've been nodding my head the entire time she described the narcissist. Spot on.

[@theshytshow2159]

Her childhood groomed her to be abused. Even though he was horrible, it was familiar to her. I’m so happy she got her life & she’s still working on herself.❤

[@diesto-vg5jz]

Yup the right wing Christians are the real groomers despite them screaming that word at everyone else

[@sweetcaroline7107]

Can you please explain how?

[@theshytshow2159]

@@sweetcaroline7107 most times we marry people with similar characteristics (unconsciously) because it feels familiar & we grow comfortable with the feeling quickly

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@theshytshow2159 You hit the nail on the head. It wasn’t until I was out of it and looking back that I realized how normal the dysfunction was.

[@YAHUAHsgoldtrim]

You put it perfectly. Her childhood did groom her to be abused. I have lived that life a thousand times and I still struggle. It’s the utter disbelief that your flesh and blood could be your biggest enemy and downfall. It’s a hard pill to swallow and a heavy load to bear.

[@mylifeasamber3655]

Mark please bring her back & keep us updated on her story. Well spoken ❤ love this

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you ❤️

[@shawandaswayzer2161]

​@@itsjust_deanna I can relate to all this, in one way or the other.

[@mylifeasamber3655]

@@itsjust_deanna your welcome 🙂 we loved it

[@mikestiglic1880]

One of the most beautiful people you have interviewed both inside and out. A truly inspirational story for so many people to learn from. Thanks for sharing Deanna

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so incredibly much for those kind words 🙏🏼✨♥️

[@jonathanburgess1957]

She is so beautiful. You never know what people go thru. I’ve learned a lot from this channel. Deanna has a heart of gold.

[@Finasteride007]

Hahahahahahahahahaahah you are so stupidly naive 😂

[@uglyfetus1]

She is absolutely stunning! Serious natural beauty. The assholes in her life were most definitely jealous. 💯

[@eleanorhammond]

This woman is an amazing storyteller. I was hooked the whole time. She is extremely inspiring.

[@mememe217]

DITT0 !!!!❤❤❤❤

[@SallyRyder777]

Me too. I thought I'll check it out for few minutes but I watched her whole story.

[@cruzin54321]

Mark, no lie, this is one of your best interviews. You hardly had to aak anything but you gave this strong, intelligent, beautiful woman a platform to share this compelling story of her life, her survival and her outlook for the future. Well done! This is why I keep coming back to your channel. I never know who you will meet that will teach us something new, give us hope, or help us process. Thank you, Deanna, for sharing with us your heartbreak, your triumphs and your fortitude. You are an inspiration and I hope we see more of you as an advocate and as a leader in the coming days, your light can be a positive influence in this dark world. All the best to you and your daughter, always.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so, so much for your encouraging and kind comments. They are so appreciated and mean so much 🙏🏼

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@infinitejest.4994 Thank you so much. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this interview. When I discovered this channel and ones like it and heard other people’s stories I didn’t feel alone anymore either. I sometimes felt like I was the only one with a story like mine. But hearing from others who went through the same and made it out and are happy and healed inspired me so much. I wish you so much love and continued healing ❤️

[@theredqueen6911]

Just left a 6 yr relationship with a NPD I’m so damn messed up. Never thought I’d let myself just disappear. More attention needs to be put on this type of abusive relationship

[@itsjust_deanna]

It truly does. I’m so glad you made it out. I hope you are able to heal and move on to have a beautiful life 🙏🏼♥️

[@brendamallard7313]

You hang in there; You will over come and be ok 😏

[@CBaller2020]

The fact that I see Deanna replying to almost everyone in the comments tells me what a beautiful, sweet, kind soul she is!

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you! I love interacting with everyone and so many people have shared their stories with me as well ❤️

[@NoBoxingNooLife]

Or maybe shes a narcissist too

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@NoBoxingNooLifeReally, how so?

[@NoBoxingNooLife]

@itsjust_deanna since u asked I'd say your more of the vulnerable narcissist.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@NoBoxingNooLifeNo I asked how so. I am a complete stranger who you don’t know from a hole in the wall. So what evidence do you have to support such a claim?

[@RubyWilson777]

Nothing's more beautiful than seeing a woman who's been through narcissistic abuse, shine

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you! I agree and I celebrate them so much!

[@CookMeredith777]

💯

[@TallulahBelle3276]

Well said. 👍🏽💯💝🌹 Sadly, you only know this when you know the abuse yourself. For you to recognize the absolute beauty in this means you’ve probably experienced it yourself. You are probably a badass woman warrior too, Ruby.

[@kokoniqueful]

She’s dressed like a soldier and she is a hero to her daughter.

[@nicoleclavel3876]

it feels like being reborn again 🥹

[@jasminea7828]

I can relate to being in a relationship with a narcissist. After 23 domestic violence cases, 6 trials, 6 restraining orders, and he was sentenced to 5 years in prison, I left. The final year was the hardest because I had to file police reports against him contacting me via phone calls, letters, his family contacting me for him via emails and text messages. That final year I had to testify in 4 trials. He still continues to harass me. Because of the physical abuse I took gun safety classes. It’s not easy but getting out is worth it. My saving grace is my parents. You’re a strong mama and I’m proud of you for walking away and sharing your story.

[@sarahs5340]

Congratulations on getting out and on the chance for a new and better life.

[@MegaLadylove2012]

Wow I can’t imagined. I’m pleased with you I tend to substitute the word ‘proud’ with please bc of my faith. I’m happy for you tht you got out

[@GratDuForloradeArgumentet]

why do you women choose men like that then? is it hard to just choose a guy who is nice? smh, always the same with women.. you admire k1llers as well. it's pathetic

[@hollig9963]

At this point I hope he kills me, 9 police reports with photos, tro and all and it still won’t end. I’m tired. My heart sings for your happy ending.

[@GratDuForloradeArgumentet]

​@@hollig9963 Im sorry to hear that, don't you have someone you can reach out to? Move somewhere else or such... what is stopping you from leaving? if police doesn't do anything, contact organizations that work with such cases, as well as churches or politicans - so they may give you shelter or help. No man should act like that towards their partner.. or don't you have those type of organization in US?

[@YumMum150]

I was raised by a narcissist, then spent 26 years married to one before finally getting out. Then quickly found myself in a relationship with another one. I’m finally narc free, and alone. The healing needed from living with a narcissist is an ongoing process, and I expect I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life. I found the best answers came from HG Tudor’s channel, here on KZbin. I highly recommend his videos, they were most helpful to me beginning this journey. Narcissists are just the WORST people, and they destroy so many lives. Thank you for this video, I’m so happy for this lovely lady now that she’s out. ☮️💖🙏

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much for sharing and your kind words . I’m sending you so much love and continued healing ♥️🙏🏼

[@YumMum150]

@@itsjust_deanna right back atcha! 💖😊🙏

[@silvio.r8443]

The number 1 thing when leaving a narcissist or abuser: Dont tell them that you are leaving! Make a plan, protect money, keep evidence of abuse before they know what you plan to do! Leaving is the most dangerous time in these relationships. It is when they snap and could even kill you.

[@ivyvelez2167]

Yes because if not they will make u react record keep track of your reactions and use it against u

[@KrishnaPatel-fv1lt]

Agreed

[@Nyc99]

Thats how i left w 6$, i realized i dont need nothing just me alive for my son

[@cameronbrady82]

❤

[@ReadyNowStayReady]

Don’t tell him that your daughter told you things.

[@theadwshow6415]

When she said the nice woman from the adoption agency broke rule, and reached out to her grandmother... I teared up. Cause I knew, that was a huge, positive turning point for her... to know her origin....and I just wanted her to win so badly... Her story touches my heart so much. Thank you, Young Lady. Thank you for sharing your Truth

[@jeremyivy2753]

As an adoptee with abusive adoptive parents, this really resonated with me on so many levels. The isolation, the constantly being torn down, the church garbage, one parent covering for the other's abuse. Even not feeling bad when my dad passed, and getting caught up in a narcissistic relationship.i understand so much of this

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m so sorry you also experienced this. I hope you are at a place of happiness and healing now.

[@julz7753]

I hope things are going good for you. you deserve it. get yours.

[@movingonandup322]

I so get that. Both my bio parents are dead and there's not a day that oes by that I actually miss their presence. I was abused, gaslit and conditioned into constantly trying to connect to them and tolerating their spirit crushing abuse until the day they died. It took years after their deaths to even begin the "deprogramming" stage of life and start to see them in their truth... a process that is excruciatingly painful to go through. Imo, there's no shame at not feeling sad, and even feeling legit happy, when an abusive parent (finally) dies.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@movingonandup322I felt every bit of this in my soul. I’m so sorry for what you must have endured. I wish I could give you a hug ❤

[@movingonandup322]

@@itsjust_deanna Awwwww... thank you so much Deanna! That means the world to me. If what I posted resonated with you due to your own abuse and/or neglect, then I am sorry for what you have gone through as well. In any event though, big virtual hugs to you Deanna and thanks again for your loving and supportive post to me!💗💟😊

[@olivrose9226]

My goodness, she is stunningly beautiful! Edit: that was just my initial thought in the beginning of her story but wow! She's been thru SO SO much! Strong and beautiful. Impressive she can still stand so tall n have such a strong presence and speaking voice. The confidence

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much ♥️🙏🏼

[@kristenyoung2086]

This was my favorite one . I was raised by a narcissist and I kept dating narcissistic men until I stop the cycle by going to therapy… I can relate just like Deanna I’m beautiful inside and out but with a lot trauma to work through… may God bless her beautiful soul❤

[@MrBritt216]

You like what you like..may god give you a man you can handle.

[@Miragecreate]

Sending ❤

[@vt1764]

What is the 1 thing you can suggest to stop attracting narcissistic men to me?

[@Kipgirl]

​@@vt1764 I've dated narcissists and they often manipulate you into thinking they are "nice" guys . I've even had them put me in a pedestal. Read about the characteristics and when you see the first red flag ....run . They tend to run after you and stalk but just keep running and get a restraining order if need be .

[@Amy-oy5hk]

@VT, learn to love yourself. I believe this is key. We may be magnets to this disordered kind, due to being raised by them. But you will no longer fall prey to these predators once you begin to have boundaries, and self love and respect the minute they try to cross your boundaries or disrespect you. Another thing I’ve learned to do is, watch and see if a persons actions match their words. If not, that’s enough for me to move on.

[@kelb6073]

Videos like this are important. This is so common. People need to learn what to do when in these situations. Being with a narcissist is dangerous and you can't just leave like it's with a normal person.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you. I just wanted to share so I can help bring awareness about these things.

[@lisapizza6494]

​@@itsjust_deannayou did a great job. Very relatable

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@lisapizza6494 Thank you ❤️

[@janiahhill7758]

@Broski Snowski how do you tell

[@panheadbob2926]

@@janiahhill7758 Brosick Sosick is Trolling, just ignore him.

[@PhoenixRisingEra]

Being raised by a narcissist will lead you to being a magnet to spouses that are narcissistic. So many echos in this story. You are beautiful and this is so brave of you to share with the world. Thank you! I learned so very much from this.

[@sinceresong9907]

Same, we even look alike

[@vt1764]

For myself it was emotional neglect. Took me a long time to understand td and parental rejection sets you up to meeting narcissistic people.

[@80sbaby90]

True. I did this myself

[@ananonym1617]

To the lawyer who listened to this woman, and helped her, thank you.

[@itsjust_deanna]

He’s an angel in disguise truly 🙏🏼

[@rubysiete5174]

She’s so beautiful inside and out. The fact that she still had grace while describing her adoptive parents.

[@erincoatney5151]

I’ve been waiting for soft white underbelly to cover narcissism. Please more narcissistic content. It’s so prevalent and the source of a lot of the issues that people on the channel face, narcissistic abuse. I’m so thankful for this brave women sharing her story.

[@kred2286]

Yes! I have some narcissist abuse to share as well. 5+ years…

[@Kiara6896]

I’m so glad she’s forgiving and chose not to be a product of her environment. I’m rooting for you!

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much! ❤

[@Okayseelee]

She mentioned at one point she didn’t leave him because she was too weak at the time. I think we so often see our survival instinct as weakness. But every single moment of her story shows her incredible strength and resilience.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so incredibly much. I honestly never looked at it from that perspective.

[@militran]

Say it sister.

[@cristohv]

How is being "weak" and excuse? She deserves everything she got for her bad decisions, she had several people tell her to leave including the first wife he had which she knew and stole him from her, they went to a professional counselor and told her to leave him, she refused.....no no no, women once you're an adult woman and make the choice of staying with an abuser even after multiple people warned you and offered help....you deserve what you get.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@cristohvThe fact that you would leave such a vile comment like this says a Lot about the kind of person you sadly are. To say someone “deserves” abuse because they made bad decisions is absolutely disgusting. But guess what? Without those bad decisions I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter, I wouldn’t have an amazing friend like his “first wife” who wasn’t his wife but you missed that part and I would be the incredibly strong woman I am today who is sharing her story and trying to help others. I learned from everything I went through so I can teach others not to make the same mistakes. I’m thankful for every lesson and I’m thankful for the life I have today. I want to help and be a light to others. What kind of legacy do you think you are leaving behind with this behavior? Do better

[@cristohv]

@itsjust_deanna I never said you deserved to be abused, but nice play on words. You consciously made choices that affected your life in a positive or negative way. Repeating those bad choices throughout "Adulthood" and then using the excuse that you were "weak" and that's part of why you didn't leave is no real excuse. Any man that goes through what you went would be called a dumbass plain and simple. But when a woman does it she can always hide behind the fact that she got kids and those are blessing, meanwhile ignoring the point which is as an ADULT you made bad choices so own up to them, all I heard was I was abused, no you were abused as a child and that is terrible, but once you grew up honey ain't no more excuses for picking a horrible guy and say but he was a charmer....but you're right I'm sure I'm a horrible guy for pointing out what I see.

[@eljeepi]

This story was so deep and necessary to hear. Would definitely appreciate hearing more narcissistic survival stories.

[@wikilee8928]

She is pretty inside and out. Also, her mind is clear, and her speech is coherent, and that makes her more intelligent than many college grads I've met. When her birth mom asked her if she had a good life, she responded with yes, that really touched me. I wish her a very happy life, and she WILL!

[@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet]

Eh… that’s debatable. Her eyes look like they’re going thru a separation.

[@wikilee8928]

@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet Wow! Beauty is debatable? lol

[@ronniebonni3]

@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmet let’s see what you look like

[@Ash2beauty]

@@TruthHurtsSoGetAHelmeto it’s not debatable, it’s subjective, your opinion doesn’t matter move around hater w/ your “not even a hint of picture”having behind 🙄

[@wikilee8928]

@@Ash2beauty Exactly! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[@karicoleman3548]

Deanna, this is a Masterclass in what a narcissistic spouse does. Except for your earlier years, you described what I experienced nearly Word. For. Word. It is bizarre when you recognize the very textbook behaviors and finally realize your situation is not unique. You are not alone. Never forget that. ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much! I think I’ve become an expert on their behavior now. That’s why I want to speak out so that people know they aren’t alone and aren’t crazy. Listening to other survivor’s stories helped me immensely and now I want to to my part to help 🙏🏼

[@stuartewoldt1513]

The way you describe your mom is exactly how my wife's behavior is. I've tried hard to protect my kids. Very hard to leave a person

[@Tina-g5m]

EXACTLY! I went thru lots of the same with my EX. All I can say is THANK GOD he's dead! Yep, I found out he O.D'd/Suicide about 4 years ago. He was up on charges for another DUI and had struck his elderly mother (he was mad because she wouldn't give him money and multiple witnesses saw he do it) so he was up on charges for Elder Abuse. He can't stalk me any more!

[@tanyaporter1262]

I just finished watching your interview. I don't know how I ended up with a narcissistic husband the first time around, because I grew up with parents who treated me VERY well! They were so proud of me, and let me know how precious I was to them; that they loved me dearly, (despite the fact that initially, my mother wanted to abort me. I was "Oops baby" #3). I didn't know what a Narcissist was, but I knew I was in a mostly miserable marriage. I was emotionally and verbally abused for over 20 years. I didn't even know I was being abused, because the abuse was insidious and covert. My self esteem dwindled down to very little over the years but it's back, and I'm re-married to a man who values me, treats me right and is NOT a Narccissist ~:0). I didn't have to deal with my husband having multiple affairs, but I dealt with his jealousy, manipulation, and insecurities. I lost myself as I was guilted into giving up friends, activities and jobs that I loved. Then one day a parent of a child that I cared for gave me the book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, written by Christian Author, Patricia Evans. We seemed to be on every page! Thank you for sharing your story. I want EVERY young girl/woman to watch it and learn from it. Narcissism and abuse should be discussed in schools, starting at the Middle School Level. And in regards to your childhood, SHAME on Social Services for allowing those so called, "Parents" of your's to adopt at all! They didn't deserve you, nor your siblings. Your daughter is blessed to have you for her Mama. And your boyfriend is blessed to have you for his companion. I pray you get to enjoy the rest of your life and that you NEVER end up in a similar situation again!

[@latricelockett1610]

As I sat here listening to her story it shook me to my soul. Brought tears to my eyes. So glad to see she's in a better place now. I've been there and I'm still on my journey back.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much, I’m glad you are as well 🙏🏼

[@codyweeter1156]

She's had it so tough and you can tell she's nice person with a lot of hurt, I just really hope that she gets to live happily and peacefully from now on. Be extra kind to her if you ever meet her she deserves it!

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you I truly appreciate your kind words ❤

[@blackopal3138]

I believe that's how we should treat every person, because we simply don't know who they are, or what they have been through, or going through.

[@blackopal3138]

@@itsjust_deanna You, my friend, are a diamond, in a mountain of rock. You're beautiful, you sparkle, I can't stop looking at you, and I know first hand how hard narcissism makes a person. I wish I could offer hope about meeting someone, I know it is possible, but it sure feels like standing on the sidewalk in front of the Empire State building, and looking up, when the only place worth getting to, is the very tip. And, I'm just talking anyone, friends even. I don't want to talk to anyone in my family, I went dark on all my friends, overnight, any work I am experienced in is surrounded by people, so I feel I can't do those jobs, and that leaves me with no work value.... ALL narcissists. .... It's our culture. I think NOT being a narcissist is a personal spiritual achievement. The only advice I can give, is to really learn what it means to be comfotable in your own skin, to not need anyone else to validate you, to not need a person you can be coupled with and say you love them, in order to feel love. You are from nature, that's where your healing will start and end. And, only Truth shall set you free. Something a narcissist never experiences. Good luck, princess. Lots of love. Peace

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@blackopal3138 Completely agree ❤️

[@jasminepantoja7586]

A A

[@misterhideous920]

Thanks again, Mark. I could listen to Deanna tell her story for hours. What an amazing woman. Her daughter is so lucky to have such a brave mother that loves her so much.

[@mememe217]

Right!!!! I DIDN’T WANT HER TO STOP!!!!!❤❤❤❤

[@guycalgary7800]

I always try to prepare myself to hear an absolute horror story as soon as the person says they went into foster care or was adopted. The system is either totally overwhelmed or run by absolute perverted pedophiles. I think its 50/50.

[@ItsFreshItsAnne]

I think its unfortunately both. Lackluster foster parents are accepted at this point because our society has gone through such moral decay, more and more (women especially, which is sick) are caring less and less about babies and children..Which creates broken adults who bave no good coping skills. So, we end up with a world full of instant gratification wrapped addiction just trying to feel better at all! If you didnt have abuse, you cant truly understand why someone would throw obvious warning bells out the window just to have a break from your head.. This is how we create addicts, abusers, murderers....Its infrastructure gets built between 0-5 yrs, then crafted through the rest of adolescence...Its a moral and family unit issue. But look... We've pissed on the truth and value of family unit roles and angrily ripped God from everything. Its pretty clear what the problem is. But, have we become too selfish to change it?

[@flowergirl1984]

@itsfreshitsanne I completely agree. My brother and I were adopted and we were the very lucky few who got a great home and loving parents. It breaks my heart others weren't given this opportunity, but its due to many factors including what you stated. I hope to one day adopt children and give them all the home they deserve.

[@teresarenee3829]

Correct. I was in foster care back in the 70s, and my foster father always had his hand down my pants...

[@alexish8183]

I work in social services. Social workers are overwhelmed, there isn’t adequate funding, many of the people drawn to fostering and adoption have ulterior motives, and the few people that really care for the wellbeing of the children are quickly burned out.

[@teresarenee3829]

@Alexis H I believe it...there needs to be a fully funded system with extremely high oversight. It can happen if you have the right people in place...

[@glassytea3315]

The fact that she cared about her bio mom’s feelings. That gets a wow!!!

[@mariebecker3129]

6 minutes in and I am ptsing myself. Sounds a lot like my childhood growing up. I also ended up with a narcissist but broke free. Love and strength to you.

[@itsjust_deanna]

So many of us share the same story. I hope you are happy and healed today ❤✨🙏🏼

[@General_Gaddafi]

Same

[@Lav3nd3rForest]

It was the first time for me to hear someone else's experiences so hurtfully relatable to my own

[@jlcmsw]

Deanna’s story hit so close to home with me. My mother and ex husband are both narcissists and I’m cleaning up the emotional mess they both made of my life. I don’t know how Deanna has the courage to be in a relationship because I’m so traumatized that I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again. I’m terrified to get close to anyone. The hard part with being a victim of narcissistic abuse is that most people don’t believe you since the narcissist acts like an innocent angel in front of others. When a victim tells you their story please believe them no matter how much of a good person the perpetrator is.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Such a strong message here. I’m so sorry for everything you have endured. If you aren’t in therapy already, it truly does help. I’m sending you so much love and wishes for healing ❤️‍🩹

[@jlcmsw]

Thank you so much for the well wishes Deanna and I send them right back at you. I’ve been in therapy for 10 months now and I don’t know what I’d do without it. The catalyst that got me into therapy was finding out my husband was a fentanyl addict. A narcissist under the influence of fentanyl is scary and it turned him into an absolute monster. I don’t miss him one bit and have realized how precious peace is. You are very courageous to have come forth to tell your painful story, but it’s not all painful. You seem to be on the right track to living a life free of toxicity.

[@ZFern9390]

Same , Narc mom and Narc recent ex husband. He also acts like the good guy. He makes me feel crazy but so does my mom.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@ZFern9390 I’m sorry. Just know that you aren’t and what you are experiencing is real and your feelings are valid.

[@rv706]

Were your mother and ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?

[@Checker222]

I thought this young lady was around 25 years old, and she's in her 40's? If she ever sees this- honey: your genetics are amazing, there is nothing in your lineage to be ashamed of- you're a sensitive articulate and beautiful woman! I hope you have a great life!

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much ❤

[@CurlsandThings]

Absolutely! I was thinking the same. Such a beautiful and resilient lady.

[@brwynn]

Wow she is in her 40’s!?? I thought she was 27. Genetics no matter the race always plays a factor. And not living a fast life. Eating right and going to bed at a decent hr. You’re beautiful Deanna!!! I hate that you had to endure a lot of this. Or any child for this matter.

[@jaminakess7037]

​@DeAnna omg! Your story is so riveting, sad, and brave. I pray for continued strength amd confidence.

[@telissahwilliams1418]

Yeah I thought she was 25 too! She’s my age!

[@malblack72]

What an amazing inspiring woman. Sounds like she has broken generational trauma and I wish the best for her and her daughter. ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much ♥️

[@barbloft]

This is one of my FAVORITE interviews!! Deanna, you are an inspiration.... and I hope you know that. All the bullshit that others did to you was just fertilizer for the beautiful growth that you've seen in your life. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@kokoli1669]

God Bless you and your daughter and thank you so much for sharing your story is so inspiring and you are definitely stronger than you fault.Continue to shine always❤.

[@dawnnicholson6703]

She is a strong person.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so, so much 💖

[@spb8039]

The PTSD of narcissistic abuse runs deep. Causes us to make poor decisions based on a false reality. Narcissistic people make their victims dependent on them. The victim relies on the narc to stop the pain that the narc created. Its a twisted co-dependency that is difficult to break.

[@cupcakesimbamoyo]

SOOOOO DEEP 😢UGH

[@cupcakesimbamoyo]

this is so true and my reality 😞right now 😊

[@successfulperson3304]

@@cupcakesimbamoyo ❤❤❤

[@niseejae2495]

True facts

[@itsjust_deanna]

That’s what people don’t understand. That’s why it’s so damaging when people victim blame or say Why didn’t you just leave? To domestic violence victims and survivors.

[@wakeup24_notableexception25]

This girl is telling my story, I feel her pain. Bless her for learning from everything and escaping alive.

[@itsjust_deanna]

I hope you are ok now too ❤

[@matildabutler5817]

This! No one believes it because it is so crazy you literally can’t make it up….

[@marshielee82]

Same here sweetheart

[@tanyaviacrucis3499]

Just a note for Deanna- I want you to know I believe you for what it’s worth. Every word of your story is 100% relatable to me from adoption, a bi-racial background & being put down such a long time it makes you wonder who you’re looking at in the mirror. Listening to you, I recognize that tone, I could hear the stress in your voice re-experiencing the madness to find your words & I was right there w/ you on the details. I know that feeling of searching for the right words to explain the unexplainable b/c what is felt is so much more horrific than words can convey. For me, explaining & explaining, not believed, invalidated, triangulated & then totally isolated is such a nasty additional layer to psychological abuse. You did a great job telling your story. I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer. All I know so far is narcissistic abuse is uniquely punishing, de-stabilizing, soul crushing in ways I never could have imagined & the damage caused isn’t discussed in relatable terms nearly as much as it needs to be. I wish you all the very best.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my story. I’m sorry for everything you have also endured. But I’m glad you were able to relate to my story. I think knowing you aren’t alone helps with healing too. That’s why I wanted to share my story. Sending you love ❤

[@NEBSpecialEdition]

When you’re done with a narcissist NEVER announce it to them! Behave as if nothing has happened and ESCAPE AND GO TOTAL NO CONTACT to another state if possible (there, I just described my escape fantasy to you)

[@itsjust_deanna]

The best thing to do if possible.

[@MrCpete84]

You can escape!!

[@goblinfood9786]

Yup. That’s exactly what I had to do myself years ago. He was going to end up k*lling me, or I was going to unalive myself. He was horrible and obsessive.

[@sciencenotstigma9534]

@@goblinfood9786. I married someone like that. I had family who seemed to think I should just wait for him to die, so I could get something out of it, financially. They didn’t know that the chances of surviving the abuse and someone squeezing you for all your energy and labor are low. By the time I got out, I didn’t even know who I was. Getting out of the black hole was the best choice I ever made! He was not about to let me get out alive, with “his” money, none of which he would ever have had without my labor and endless support. If someone doesn’t value you, leave if it can. It’s not worth it!

[@yolandalatrice1]

Unless theres a child invovled and the plot thickens 😢

[@Dolomite2011]

People like her deserves the world

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@No-sv6mu]

The fact that she is so level headed, well spoken, and emotionally mature is amazing considering the trauma she has been victim too. Proof that the support of a good therapist can really do wonders. I'm so happy she is living a healthy life and breaking that cycle of abuse for her daughter. ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much for your kind comments ❤

[@sciencenotstigma9534]

Yes! So true…working with a good therapist worked wonders in my life. I talked to many who didn’t understand my situation and where I was at, but I’m so glad I kept reaching out. There are excellent mental health providers out there who can help people heal from anything!

[@blissbased]

I would give all the credit to the Lady and not the therapist.

[@No-sv6mu]

@MindchangerDee she gets a ton of credit. There is no shame in having a support person to help guide her in her recovery from past trauma. This lady has a great outlook on life and it shows how hard she is fighting to be a good healthy mother. But we should also give credit to those helping her on her journey.

[@coryd2668]

@@No-sv6muyou’re absolutely right!!

[@DK-sg9kf]

My ex made me crazy and turned me into a drunk. Since I escaped, I’ve been sober and so healthy and happy

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m very happy for you. Continue on that path of happiness and peace.

[@kristenbingham6664]

I'm going through a separation with my husband who I always suspected as being a narcissist but could never tell. Some of her testimonies took my breath away with how it felt like she was telling my own story. 😢 I wish her only the best! ❤

[@Chasitywesr]

You can do it. Don't go back. Don't believe what he tells you.

[@infinitebeing211]

I hope you are strong enough to leave him. You deserve PEACE

[@GratDuForloradeArgumentet]

You cannot tell if someone is a naracissist? They literally praising themselves all the time or make themselves out to be important all the time.. and if someone disproves them lying, they get very very angry especially if it has to do with their ego

[@gentsuthern8827]

How do you know he’s a narcissist?

[@candyking380]

If you think someone is a narcissist. They are

[@OfftheRecord2021]

Deanna's story of surviving a marriage to a narcissist offers a glimpse into the psychological abuse and trauma victims endure, and highlights the importance of healing and self-love. This is an inspirational content, this should be featured on Off the Record.

[@Saoirse-xt7mi]

Oh Deanna, I am so proud of you! You shared your story with the world. and I know doing this took a lot of determination and courage. You have overcome more than most of us could bear, but despite it all your beauty, strength, and courage still shine through. I hope you never doubt yourself, ever again! You did the best you could before you left your narcissistic ex, but you did summon the strength to finally leave and make a better life for yourself and your daughter. What an achievement! Bravo, Deanna, bravo! I wish you all the happiness this world has to offer, You deserve so much peace and happiness. I hope the coming days will bring all good things to you. Be safe, be well, and have a beautiful rest of your life! Merry Christmas, beautiful lady!

[@genesis9087]

My mother was a social worker for LA county and state of CA and the horror stories I heard was ridiculous. Its always the super religious people that are the most abusive! Wishing her all the best!! She’s gorgeous ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Unfortunately that’s been my experience hearing these stories as well. I know that not religion doesn’t equal abuse so I don’t want anyone to think that’s what I’m saying. But I would be blind to say it’s not a common theme. I know your Mom’s job wasn’t easy and thanks so much to her for what she did ❤

[@genesis9087]

@@itsjust_deanna I’m SO proud of you!!! Sending love to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us all. You’re beautiful hun and keep going!!!

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@genesis9087 Thank you so much!!!

[@Mehki227]

I watch a lot a of true crime and as soon as I hear they came from a religious household I know I'm going to hear about abuse and the worst crimes.

[@CozyRozeBudz]

🎯

[@Saria87Love]

Never heard anyone tell a story like mine. Almost everything relates to my own story in some way. Being an adopted, homeschooled kid raised by a narcissistic mother is certainly not a tale commonly shared. Thank you for talking about this

[@paulettek8973]

Facts narcissists make us feel worthless or like a betrayer if we called out their wrongs

[@Lauren-vw3cn]

Right?! I finally feel less alone to know I'm not the only homeschooled person raised by a narc mom.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@Lauren-vw3cn You are not alone! I felt that way too until I started seeing stories like mine. That’s why I wanted to share.

[@PatDaBakerz]

I am also adopted, homeschooled, raised by a mother with narcissistic traits and a victim complex. She wasn’t horrible, but she did have a habit of weaponizing our vulnerabilities as kids and love had a savior complex attached to it. Even though is was not nearly as extreme as this case, not by a long shot, I still find myself having trust and self esteem problems, and have a difficult time talking about my feelings.

[@Saria87Love]

@PatDaBaker just being adopted is traumatic. You could have the most loving, wonderful adoptive parents and still have severe abandonment issues. Then place on top of that your parent is not loving and is just making all of the abdomen trauma ways worse whole adding more complex layers of trauma and then in my case being trapped with that mother 24 hours a day with no relief or ability to go anywhere and just be her own personal narcissistic supply farm. Your mother didn't have to be as bad as hers to still cause you harm. Just the foundation of the situation is harmful itself. I was adopted by my step grandmother. She took all of her hatred for her husband's ex out on me. All of the details may be different in each of our stories but the harm and the pain is the same ❤️

[@loveandwhimsea]

A true testament to human resiliency and strength of spirit. Narc abuse is especially difficult to recover from. Wow, what an inspiration.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you ❤

[@dcat3510]

What a lovely human being this woman is. Beautiful soul

[@goodtalker]

What a sharp, first class woman. Much respect.

[@maxybuddy1913]

This woman helped me connect the dots for the person in my world who i believe has this disorder and so I will continue to steer clear of that person's influence for my own wellness. Thanks Deanna.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you ❤

[@HoneySuckle123]

​@@itsjust_deanna Your bad experiences with the "cult" churches is so different than your relationship with your Creator❤ True love Deanna

[@lindsayobregon5456]

Quite honestly the best interview I have ever seen on here..and I've seen a lot. I think just her honesty and communication is amazing. It lets me understand that forgiving yourself is part of growing up.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so incredibly much 💖🙏🏼

[@katiejo6792]

I was lucky enough to have great parents and a wonderful childhood. But, my life mirrored Deanna’s from the point of meeting her husband. I was with a narcissistic abusive man for 16 years who did so many of the exact same things. I now have PTSD. Thank you for sharing this!

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m so glad you got out of it though. I hope you are able to heal and have love and happiness in your life ♥️🙏🏼✨

[@ModernSunlight]

I hope Deanna's story can inspire you the way she inspires me. Stay strong.

[@janbeck7989]

When you are raised by a narcissist, you're primed to be married to a narcissist. You know nothing else. The "love" is very familiar. And, once it's exposed, you'll never forget, and you'll never go back. I wish the best for you Deanna!

[@MissNyPeachJerseyAppleBottom]

Or havr kids by them

[@NycRamona]

BINGO - People rather victim blame than educate themselves on this exact thing you just said.

[@hikikomori5]

So true, it is crazy. Once you know, you know. You can't even gave traits and be around me. I guess that's why I stay to myself.

[@itsjust_deanna]

I couldn’t agree more. Thank you ❤

[@LC_H]

​@@NycRamonaNarcissist or not, when you except abuse from a person, or constantly go back to the person abusing you, you're not a victim anymore, but you're actually a participant. A victim can't control their environment, but a participant can (by leaving the person). The day a person abuses you and you decide to remain with them and not leave (unless you're a child), then you are no longer a victim. Most people stay because they are familiar with the abuse (due to how they were raised). They know the treatment is not right, but they would rather not leave the abuse in an effort to keep the fairytale (that's not real) alive.

[@theblackphoenix447]

I’m so happy that her therapist saw through him because many don’t & encourage women to remain in abuse. My therapist saw through my Narcissistic husband and he also stopped coming to therapy because “she was bias” Save yourself ladies! ❤❤❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

A good therapist always sees through people. It’s so funny because the first therapist we went to together we were trying to do couples counseling and she’s the one that told me that if I wanted to leave him she would help me. It was during a solo session because we did sessions apart and together. I should have taken her up on that offer, but I just wasn’t ready yet. But we stopped going to her because he decided he didn’t like her. Probably something that happened in a solo session. He probably saw that he couldn’t charm or manipulate her. But many many years later after our divorce, I tried going to therapy with him just so we could coparent because I couldn’t have a conversation without him, being aggressive and verbally abusive towards me. After a few sessions that therapist also told me That he will never change and to not bring him anymore. So 2 therapists saw right through him. But, I hope you are in a place now, where you are happy, healed, and at peace. ❤

[@theblackphoenix447]

@@itsjust_deanna thanks for sharing! Not yet, the divorce process has just started for me. Also, now we have to figure out how to coparent 3 kids🙄. I’m glad all of your therapists saw through him!!!!!

[@rv706]

Was your abusive ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?

[@Choosingthebetterme]

@@rv706being narcissistic and having NPD are separate- :)

[@moniquefleming3738]

​@@Choosingthebetterme@rv706 has been asking multiple people on this thread that exact question. I think he's gaslighting and insulting people's experiences.

[@karenknight7476]

If you’ve never experienced it, then you can’t REALLY understand. Hugs and prayers from a fellow survivor ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you! Sending you lots of hugs as well ❤

[@adrianne7274]

I know it’s been over a year since you shared your story. I don’t know where you are, but I really hope you are in a wonderful place. In spite of all of your setbacks and emotional turmoil and trauma you have been through, you blossomed into a very beautiful woman. You deserve the best of everything you desire and then some! All peace all joy all happiness and all of the love your heart can carry. Hold on to your daughter , love her unconditionally. I was fortunate enough to have my mother all of my life and she is still here, my best friend 76 years young. She means the world to me. I hope you become as close to your daughter as I am to my mother. It’s your time to smile… it’s your time to laugh and be carefree… it’s your time to bask in the sun….never lose sight of who you are and always remember - you deserve the Best!!!!!God Bless you! And thank you for sharing your story! For sure, someone will blessed by words!❤❤❤❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my story and leave such kind words. You and your mom are so blessed to have each other. It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship. My daughter and I are incredibly close and we are both in a much better place today Thank you again! ♥️

[@deemcswain9929]

I just ended a 3 year relationship with a narcissist it was mentally emotionally and physically abusive. I didn’t realize he abused me mentally and emotionally until I left. It was like being in a black whole you can’t get out of. Thank God He saved me and my daughter

[@Mag_mine]

You are such a strong and beautiful person. Keep being a bad ass survivor!

[@somethinggood9267]

Jesus loves you

[@tishg6053]

This is wonderful news! Please know they always need their "supply " and will try to get you back, don't do it. A Narcissist DOES NOT change. Stay strong!!

[@gingerlancaster3033]

I was a foster parent for years. We "kept" the first one. Not legally adopted. But he is my son 30+ years later. Lots of foster parents were in it strictly for the stipend and the kudos. The more kids, the larger the stipend each month. No real thought or care for the kids under their care

[@babybluecheeks]

I'm from the UK, my multiple Foster parents were so horribly abusive, especially if they had their own children. The trauma I have from these Foster parents makes it so very hard to live my life, my PTSD is very painful. If you're a good Foster mum then thank you, you are few and far between ❤

[@taylordicaprio-zeppetelli6918]

@babybluex I was beaten bloody by my father. EMDR helps with the PTSD if you can find a therapist who specializes in this. So difficult to live with PTSD. Sending good vibes to you. ❤

[@babybluecheeks]

@J C I'm going to, I adore reading, it is the ONLY thing that chill my ass

[@debbiepowers4743]

@@taylordicaprio-zeppetelli6918 what is EMDR Taylor? So sorry you had to endure that. Sending you a big virtual hug.😢

[@taylordicaprio-zeppetelli6918]

@@debbiepowers4743 I’ve been to so many therapists that just listen to me talk. I could do that with my best friend. More therapy needs to be interactive and offer tools for healing. Not one talk therapist has ever helped me in any way, unfortunately. I know they mean well, but it isn’t going to cure everything.

[@lucillem2639]

Mark, this is probably the best interview you've ever done. The other one that stands out is the guy who was molested as a kid, overcame his demons and ended up marrying his childhood sweetheart. Please do a part 2 with Deanna. Very inspiring! Her story gave me much needed hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can't stop looking for the switch.🙏♥️

[@vickiefalcon1]

I have seen several videos Mark has put out and I have never commented on any of them until now. Your story resonated with me because I too had a narcissistic parent and then a partner who I was with for 13 years. Unless someone who has been with a narcissist, they will have no idea how hard it is to leave. I commend your bravery and resilience and wish you and your daughter the best in this life!! ❤🙏🏼 Namaste

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so incredibly much. Wishing you all the best ♥️🙏🏼

[@Lowdermoomoo]

I hear a lot of these stories and I think like “oh my abuse wasn’t that bad compared to this” and but this one, this one triggered me. I wasn’t adopted but my actual parents were like this, we are Hispanic, and my brother came out fair skinned with straight hair, like my mom, and I came out tan with very thin curly hair, my mom didn’t know how to manage it, and I always had tangled matted hair, and when my mom would get fed up from my crying when she would aggressively rake a brush through my hair, she would cut it all off, and I always remember when she would grab the scissors and I would be horrified and plead with her not to cut off. She also would call me the “dark one”, and my “family” would make fun of me for my hair and complexion. My “mother” would also sleep in, was a borderline hoarder and I had to make food for myself on a gas stove at about 5 years old, my dad was always working and my mom locked in the room. my brother and I would acaba he for food, we’d make “pizza” with white bread, ketchup and Kraft single slices in the microwave. To me that was normal, my teenage years, my bedroom looked like prison cell that I hated leaving, I’d spend all my time in there. I had a box tv, a twin mattress on the floor, 7 shirts, 2 light jackets, 2 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of shoes and a hamper. I’d get a bottle of VO5 3 in 1, a toothbrush, a hairbrush, a tube of toothpaste and a stick of suave deodorant. Mind you my mother made almost 6 figure during my teen years and there was only my brother and I. She spent all her money on Disney themed things like stuffed animals, jewelry, and the rest went to nice cars, and fast food she would get for herself and proceed to lock herself in her room. Any time I’d ask for basic necessities like toiletries, she would get really angry and say “AGAIN?! I JUST BOUGHT YOU SOME LAST MONTH! YOU NEED TO MAKE IT LAST LONGER AND STOP USING SO MUCH!” My showers were also timed, and our utilities would be shut off due to lack of payment, I had to pretend to be my mother over the phone and use my birthday/babysitting money I kept in a joined bank account she made and would steal money out of to get our utilities turned back on. The straw on the camels back was her telling me that being a victim of DV and SA from my abusive ex husband. They said that was my choice and that it made them look like victims to the community and “how would the church see them if they knew I had been abused?” While my father backed my mom up by saying “take your trash family (my amazing husband and 3 year old) and don’t ever step foot in my house if you are going to challenge us, we are your parents and we have the right to say and treat you however we like” I finally said “I don’t give two flying fucks about what the community or the church think, I do not have to subject myself and my family to your abuse, you are both dead to me”. This one hit so close to home. From the hoarding, neglect, abuse, false appearances. It’s awful. Some people are just monsters and should never be allowed around children.

[@carolinecheatham1087]

Wow, your parents are awful. I’m so happy you cut them off. Good luck to you!

[@briauny]

❤❤❤❤ the veil has been dropped. A lot of parents have lost their adult children because the parents are narcissist and will never hold themselves accountable for hurting their children. Kudos to you because I know it wasn’t easy to cut them off. From one survivor to another, We got this!💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾❤❤❤❤

[@Born2resist_]

I just wanted you to know - you are beautiful, you are worthy of love, of nice things, care, and respect, your hair and complexion are wonderfully made, and I’m so glad you have created a loving family of your own away from your so called ‘parents’ ❤ some elements of your comment really struck a chord with me, I remember my Nan being horrified when at 13 I didn’t have any bras or deodorant, and my school shirts were all yellow instead of white - she took me straight to the shop and got me everything I needed, meanwhile my mum had so many trinkets, jewellery, and ‘unnecessary’ things that she would buy (whilst we lived on the breadline), also was emotionally/physically unavailable too. It may seem trivial, but these small things can make a huge impact to your sense of self worth and belonging, especially during formative years, it leaves you feeling not worthy, and growing up with a mentality of lack left me with issues I’m still struggling with today. She always seemed to wonder why my nan (dads mum) held such a special place in my heart and would say awful things about her in front of me…

[@TheGrmany69]

South America is ridden with people like this.

[@AyeAsh444]

Her Adopted Mom sounds like my damn Dad. A covert narcissist, who was super kind in public but behind closed doors he was my first Bully. God Bless you Deanna. It’s tough but you’ll heal through this. ❤

[@itsjust_deanna]

I’m so sorry you went through this. Thank you for your kind words ❤

[@tinawindham6958]

Same with my mother. Such a bully.

[@thatguyjimmie]

My birther to a tee.even the religious part.

[@shankaroont4959]

You do not just leave a narcissist. Truer words were never spoken. Spot on

[@patrickosullivanauthor]

This woman has the heart of a lion and should be so proud of her herself for surviving and coming through such a hell. An inspiration.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so incredibly much ♥️✨

[@JATM509]

She looks like an Angel even how she talks … crazy how the worst things be happening to the most beautiful souls.

[@t.w.8174]

Right?!

[@t.w.8174]

@@allstarbleeder and the narc in the comments section has officially identified himself! welcome, sir. please remove your shoes, and be sure to check your bag of manipulations at the door😊

[@dajawillis6214]

@@allstarbleeder are you one of the people she’s talking about in this video?👀

[@leahmoonbeamflower333]

@@t.w.8174 😂😂😂😂 very nice comeback ❤.

[@80sbaby90]

Evil seems to reign

[@deefly63]

Being w/ a narcissist myself for 23 years… Deanna’s story hit hard on my heart. I wish her and her daughter all the very best. May God bless and keep them both safe always.

[@griffinmaxwell2016]

Wow! This one was very relatable to me. The PTSD is evident. That need created by your trauma to relay every event in perfect detail... EVERY MINUTE DETAIL. As though you are playing back scenes from a movie, one you're familiar with because it leaves its resonance. Only, IT"S YOUR MOVIE! Deanna, don't be ashamed of anything you are! Embrace yourself fully. Nurture yourself & unravel the complexity of your pain through continued therapy. Even after trauma we can & will become the best version of ourselves despite the harm inflicted upon us by others. Wishing you continued healing.

[@jaykay415]

I didn't know that - but it's interesting to me, because I find myself doing that when thinking about a current problem that's been deeply bothering me.

[@mystic6587]

Thank you so much for telling your story! I lived with a narcissist for 33 years before I saw the light. Comes from my mom, my childhood. Bullying at school, no self-esteem and then meeting this man that i looked up to. Toxic from the start but I thought if I try really hard things get better. They didn't. Tension and stress all the time. And when I was about ready to leave he would change instantly and become the nicest man again. Looking back I still wonder how I got sane out if this. My biggest regret is not sticking up for my kids more. They grew up like I did and worse. My oldest went into addiction to forget and I almost lost him. He is clean now for 8 years and my other son 6 years. So proud of them! But the thought of what my kids went through is the only thing that gets me to cry every time. I am proud of getting my life back after him and at 50 years of age I met this beautiful man. Which was scary at first because I was never used to someone being so nice. I emigrated and literally left my old life behind me. Have great contact with my boys and love them to the moon and back. I forgave everyone that caused me harm, including him. Forgiving doesn't mean you don't hold them responsible, but it allows you to move on.

[@itsjust_deanna]

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s all so relatable. You truly feel like you are crazy at times. I have the same regret of not protecting my child more. But all that matters is that we are no longer in those relationships and we have better lives and relationships with our children. I hope you continue to grow and be happy 🙏🏼♥️

[@neomacchio4692]

Classic

[@ryannabozniak6349]

Deanna, not sure if you'll read this or not, but I want to thank you for your bravery in telling your story. Like you, I am a male survivor of almost 25 years of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, administrative etc.). I still haven't found my 'happily ever after' and have two children that live with my ex...I don't see them much and she uses her power to limit my ability to be with them. I hope more people come forward like yourself, to tell their stories. Those that have never lived it have no idea the level of courage it takes to talk openly about what happened to them. For male survivors, we are simply not believed. Having lived through alot of what you went through yourself, it's hard to say you're making it up. You aren't. Regular society simply doesn't realize the crazy stuff we experienced to get to where we are. God bless you, and thank you again!

[@itsjust_deanna]

I wish I could give you a hug. People really have no idea the toll it takes and how hard it is to get out of these relationships. I wish you the best and hope you find your happiness.

[@ryannabozniak6349]

@@itsjust_deanna I appreciate the sentiment. The only way things change though is if enough of us come forward and talk about it. Thanks for doing so. Feel free to connect with me, there's a group of us that are trying to do more.

[@Rosebud62492]

​@@ryannabozniak6349 I can also relate..😢

[@texastea5686]

My brother in law got tired of his wife's crap (my husband's sister) he gave her the world, and yeah, at the beginning they looked like the perfect couple and she would always rave openly about him. Over time it went from "I'm so proud of my husband he got his Masters" to: "Shut up, X! no one's talking to you" with disgust in her voice. She would pay the bills, so he couldn't buy anything. A mutual friend told me she was there visiting and my brother in law asked, "Hey, X, can I go buy a couple of breakfast tacos?" And she said no! I mean, she wouldn't even let him buy $2 tacos! He would get the kids ready for school every morning, cook, clean, wash, buy groceries .... he'd buy her expensive purses, etc. Yet she was absolutely ugly to him. Well, it turns out he had been planning this for months, but for her, it was a total surprise when he ended up filing for divorce. It's been a rough road. The kids don't really want to be with her (they share custody), but then she'll tell the kids "you don't love me? I do everything for you, why do you want to be with your dad" Anyway, we knew she was pretty rude to him, but we didn't know HOW bad it was for him and his self-esteem. After the divorce she has ridiculed him even more: his looks, his manhood, his finances...anything. So yeah, if it was a woman EVERYONE would be supportive and giving hugs and words of support. But it seems that people don't want to believe men. Oh, and she hasn't spoken to us (her brother - my husband) because she made us choose: "him or me" Well, we were like "but he hasn't done anything. dont make us choose" so she got upset and cut us out.

[@itsjust_deanna]

@@texastea5686 That’s really such a shame and I’m sorry. Unfortunately people don’t realize that men also go through this type of abuse and speak up about it. It shouldn’t be that way as they need support too. I hope him and his children are doing much better today. Therapy helps so much too 💖🙏🏼