Narcissistic parents cause us to over focus on them and obsess too much

[@nsloane5384]

You’ve described me and my life PERFECTLY!!! I’m now 71 yrs; Mom died 2yrs ago; I still struggle w/my past life/difficult situation. SO SO SO HARD TO CHANGE!!!

[@tomsaint-leger1297]

This hits far too close to home... it's very difficult to deprogram but being aware is half the battle

[@ssrat69]

My schizophrenic (diagnosed at 65) and narcissistic mother had a stroke 2 years ago and all of her dysfunctions are gone, she is in a nursing home now. My (55yr old) brother has somehow become the focal point of the narcissistic family and loved text bombing arguments about news stories and politics. I had to tell him to leave us alone after he sent his girlfriend to text my husband to destroy our marriage. I’ve gone full no contact with him last week, and the funniest part of all is it made me cherish the decision I made in 2003 to move 900 miles (1500km) away and settle. It’s peaceful away from mine and my husband’s toxic families😊

[@hanady3209]

I like this video it is really validating about being groomed to use our energy to obsess and worry about them. I found the story you told about your experience extremely relatable. About parents have a conflict and issue and you can’t focus on whatever is going on in your life at the time. If you ever consider making a similar video would have liked to hear you go into that closer to beginning of video instead of halfway through. And maybe talk about the other thing, making mistakes etc towards the end

[@LaylabMm]

What are some affirmations to challenge this ?

[@CourageCoaching]

'It is not my job to fix my parents', 'I will not feel guilt about putting myself first' 'I deserve to be happy and set boundaries, even if this means that I don't speak to my parents anymore'

[@nsloane5384]

@@CourageCoaching I was programmed from age 3 or 4 onward to NEVER, ever think or feel these ways!! At age 4 my parents had a fight and my father packed a bag to leave (probably to his parents). I laid myself over his lap and laid there, preventing him to move as we watched a Disney show on tv. I had to pee really bad but I wouldn’t get up to go to the bathroom! I was afraid that if I did, he’d leave. How’s that for unfair pressure and expectations on a naive little girl? That was the beginning and basis of me thinking I had to keep my parents together for my sister and me. Keep them together and somewhat happy, at the dinner table, on family trips, anywhere we all went. Keep my dad from blowing a gasket at the stupid, immature, narcissistic, lazy, selfish ways she “ran the house”. And protect her feelings and thoughts from my “angry dad”. She’d spent much of her childhood in an orphan’s home so it was my duty to make everything up to her, keep “poor Mom” happy, after her sad childhood.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

Help!

[@jans724]

Any advice for a father who has his daughter 50 % on how to counter the narcissist mother (covert narcissist)?

[@CourageCoaching]

It is very tough when you co-parent with a narcissist. Just provide stability, unconditional love and allow your daughter to express her feelings. She will hopefully value these things, if her mother hasn't affected her too negatively already!

[@jans724]

@@CourageCoaching Thankyou! She is only four so so far all seems fine. She's a wonderful little girl and we have great connection. She has a stable and safe home with me half the time. My main concern is whether 50 % will be enough.