Narcissists Will DESTROY Everything in Your Life

[@RedWolf17]

I lost a great deal of money but more importantly, my health and something I can never get back…my TIME!

[@nernatbentley3778]

THIS!! The amount of time lost AND, the toll on my health… I’ll never fully recover! I spent time in court and calling police to my home, due to that Covert Narcissist. SO MUCH stress!!!

[@lt827]

That is my biggest regret, too. The time I can never get back.

[@qasimshah9009]

Yes ,the biggest regret is that why I doesn't live that place, why I doesn't have a strong heart like other men 😢😢 why why why Why I am a co dependent 😭😖😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@kimgordon3695]

Psalms 37: 10, 11 & 29 💜

[@kimgordon3695]

They will never stand with You

[@angierieniets6440]

While in an abusive marriage, I was getting steroid injections in my back because I had so much pain. As soon as I left the marriage, the pain went away. I asked my doctor about it and he said that wasn’t the first time he had heard about pain gone after getting out of a toxic relationship.

[@emmaleaone]

That happened to me too!! A mystery pain no one could explain and it went away after I left that marriage ..

[@KC-ns9do]

The nitpicking, backhanded remarks, constant monitoring takes a toll on your mind, body and soul. Horrible living with these parasitic idiots.

[@rhondacrump3205]

Not to mention the revisionist history, lies they tell of stuff that either did not happen or lies of what really happened.

[@immers2410]

Why was he doing all that? Is there something about your behaviour that had him on edge?

[@KC-ns9do]

@immers2410 NO. From my experiences with these types of people, they force their opinions on you. They make snide remarks about how you do or say something. My ex would tell me that I didn't know how to load a dishwasher, something I had been doing for years. It's a way of breaking you down. These people are usually pretty fragile, Insecure so they will say negative things to you to get you to feel bad, question yourself. I think it's how they regulate their emotions. And if you say anything to them, attempt to defend yourself, all hell breaks loose, or they will laugh at you, mock you, say you are too sensitive. I fired back with "you are insensitive." 😄

[@immers2410]

@@KC-ns9do did you not see that fairly early in your courtship? People tell on themselves all the time

[@KC-ns9do]

@@immers2410 the first couple years he didn't do this often enough for me to notice a pattern. Then it gradually increased after we got engaged and it got really bad after we got married.

[@kpf2014]

“I lived for him”. Omg. This! They actually groom you and condition you to do this until you lose your entire identity, feel isolated, feel you are not enough, second guess and question EVERYTHING about yourself when you never was this way before. After a 32 year marriage with this - it has taken a toll and alot of time to detox and decondition. He still cyberstalks and married 3 months after divorce. He cheated the entire marriage and he was so skilled at hiding it.

[@melisherwood5300]

they’re brilliant actors

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

yeah they groom you to think that they are the center of the universe and what's more that if you keep them happy--you're life will be good. Only that never comes true.

[@melisherwood5300]

@ or they shame you for focussing on them so much

[@KC-ns9do]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I got out earlier than you and was so painful. Can't get my head around what you have been through after 32 years!! Wishing you much love in your healing. ❤

[@antheredhen]

34 years..

[@palapalak.8907]

I want to move and change my entire life. Horrible manipulative people, Narcs are.

[@Freedom-2BME]

THEY are sick, SO SICK!!

[@ninath13]

Very mentally ill people brain reversed 😨😠

[@notjustaprettyface]

Ppl inadvertently letting you know that they thought you were smarter than that is the worst feeling ever.

[@brightpage1020]

Yes it feels like secondary abuse.

[@stephaniehepler8341]

You end up with unexplained depression & anxiety from trying to survive in a relationship with a narc. It works great for the narc who can then turn around & say, “look how broken you are.” It allows them to continue placing all the blame for every problem on you. I had to have my gall bladder removed due to the stress of the marriage I was in. Still after seeing so many doctors & psychiatrists, no one noticed or realized that I was in a toxic abusive relationship.

[@therollingstone9701]

Its true that if you look in bad shape, courts will pay against you. I've been there. After the breakup I was a walking skeleton. I had to appear in court 1.5 months afterwards. I knew i looked like a ragdoll, so I took weightlifting supplements to get some extra calories. I was in almost normal shape for court. I lost 90 percent custody on false accusations but at least i showed up in a decent physical appearance. Everything plays against you in court.against a narcissist

[@janinesmith369]

Depression and burn out is something I experienced and often it can be hard to find the strength to work and hadn’t found the energy to get things done.The feeling of feeling trapped from all the gaslighting and manipulation and wanting out only adds to the frustration.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

yes, they use exhaustion as a way to keep us depleted and stretched way too thin

[@unrulypeasantr3911]

My ability to focus and short-term memory is fried. Total brain fog to the point my mind feels scrambled. I won't even go into the smear campaign, slandering and demoralization or the alienation of affection conducted by my narc husband, between my adult daughter and I. It all makes me so exhausted and depressed. I'm convinced that hell is empty ... because the demons are all walking amongst us.

[@KeishaWilliams-e6d]

I developed asthma. The Doctor said it was temporary. The constant shock of the things he'd say...caused me to hold my breath and breathe shallowly

[@brightpage1020]

“He groomed me to believe that any needs I might have were too much.” Whoa 😮 ouch. 😓

[@JanetMitchell-y8i]

I honestly never ever thought he was a cheater and a pathological liar, he left last December and I continue to struggle with who he really is. He discarded me and he also wanted me to beg him to come back. These people are insidious and disturbing. The brain washing is unbelievable. Everything you are saying was my life as well.❤

[@marywhite3970]

People underestimate the true COST involved in having these "relationships." I know we are social creatures but I don't know that the torment and abuse that often takes place is worth it. Our sanity, harmony and peace of mind are far more important. Love shouldn't be painful...but it should be a soft and safe place to fall when life gets rocky...a place to bring support and receive it, mutually....a place of acceptance and advice...a place where you can be yourself.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

oh I agree completely. The costs are massive.

[@susanstatesheale]

Financial losses is the hundreds of thousands. Loss of my professional community when he left by having an affair with one of my employees and pulled a DARVO on me by telling them he was my victim. My physical health, anxiety disorder. Every day I remind myself that I’m so much better off without him.

[@barbarasantay7386]

Could not win, damned if you did, damned if you didn’t, double binds that breaks one’s soul.

[@melisherwood5300]

I started stuttering especially when talking to him; I felt so unstable, so unsure of myself and so anticipatory of any further hurtful comments or criticisms - felt like walking the gangplank on a pirate ship that is at sea - any moment I will be submerged to my demise. But I couildn’t just walk away! I felt trapped on that ship. Like Lisa, I never would have left,- never! But ironically, he was the one who freed me.

[@emmaleaone]

@@melisherwood5300 if we had been educated it might have saved us from the trauma .. that’s sad to me

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

Cost me eleven years financial support, bankrupted me, my health, my children, my vehicles (my freedom). He had the nerve to say, "What do you have to be stressed about?" Gee, I wonder. It didn't help that I ended up with so many autoimmune issues because of all the stress.

[@nancylang4294]

Broke away. FINALLY realized how crazy he is and how I demeaned myself even knowing him. I'm so glad I never introduced him to anyone I know. What an embarrassment. I understand and experienced most of what you talked about. I did protect myself financially.

[@SherryWilson-dk7bo]

Yay! Congratulations to you ❤🙂✨️🙏

[@WarriorQueenb]

I was admitted in the ER for severe panic attacks, one time I was hospitalized for a bleeding ulcer, another time I had shingles all before 50 years old.

[@joannajohnson696]

The cost for me being married to a narcissist is an entire house full of new furniture, he ran all our credit cards to the credit limit, he spent money on alcohol when we needed money for groceries, he cost me my health, I was diagnosed with cancer after being with him for 13 years, he didn't work full time so I had to use my retirement to pay the mortgage until it was all gone. Not to mention the stress of having to put out fires both financially and emotionally while I put up with his chaos.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

oh my!!

[@kimgordon3695]

❤❤❤ our loving heavenly father will sustain YOU

[@emmaleaone]

@@joannajohnson696 I had shingles too!! Twice and I am 100 days out of that monster mania .. I have so many issues and somehow I knew he never cared!! He liked it when I would have to lie down it gave him time to contact his other supply!!

[@lt827]

The question about what did the relationship cost you is so thought provoking. Not only did mine cost me 6 figures but also robbed me of the opportunity to live up to my career potential and damaged my health. My ex was not just narcissistic but also a financial parasite.

[@Freedom-2BME]

One of the reasons we keep silent is we don’t want to be judged by others - so I’ve not shared the extent of what I’ve been through 😢I’m in constant state of stress & anxiety. Still going through property settlement,,finding it so difficult to function..

[@well_weathered]

To be believed or supported is a big part.

[@Freedom-2BME]

@@well_weatheredthank you for the reminder, I need help

[@well_weathered]

@Freedom-2BME It is a hard situation to find yourself in when there is no support. Unfortunately you can't always trust friends and family. I hope you can reach out to someone. 🫂 Therapy helps. Keep watching to videos, reading books, and listening to podcasts. 🪷

[@susanhay4982]

@@well_weathered Yes. Especially when you live in a small town and my husband's parents are well known and respected in the community. They know some of the abuse and keep their heads in the sand. No support.

[@well_weathered]

@susanhay4982 Yes, do not underestimate the whole family. I've been in this for 32 yrs. I didn't know what I was dealing with but found out their reach for control shortly after marriage. His parents have passed on now but the meddling of family only increased. I never knew how competitive they were and we weren't a part of that. Turns out that maybe our strong relationship could have been a front to keep them off of his back. We are in couples therapy to sort it all out. If I had known what I know now I would have walked out with my four youngest almost 20 yrs ago. I have no way of knowing how that would have worked out and there is no use dwelling on it. It's time to stop the dynamic they have going.

[@jans724]

I lost my trust in the authorities, court system and police. I was falsely accused and as a man you're guilty til proven innocent. And even though I proved myself innocent and got out of it all, it took so much time and energy that my trust in those institutions is shattered. I hope I can regain it some day. False allegations are a hallmark of female covert narcissists and in such cases the system is biased against men. The financial losses I can regain.

[@therollingstone9701]

Your testimony resonates with my life. False accusations, losing the kids, rigged court. As fathers, we have no rights. I'm from europe, i know the us system is rigged too. It's the same everywhere, women are trusted on word.

[@mr6sg]

So did I. I realised I was completely alone and paying these people while he continued to use them as a way to hit me harder. And the domestic violence, abuse continues and tye judges let ...sadistic. Brussels, in Belgium, worst Family Court ever in particular for foreign mothers...like myself!

[@kevinjanghj]

I lost all my savings then in the period with the narcissist but more importantly, it was the declining health in the aftermath, the ensuing PTSD from trying to salvage the whole financial and emotional situation which made it worse. Hair loss (although not as bad as some others) in a loss of volume, digestive issues, insomnia compounded by the strange feeling as if the narcissist was astral projection stalking me and abusing me in the spiritual realm, and flying monkeys who would not stop harassing me. Right now, even if I am antisocial now, nobody is convincing me to get out to meet new people who could potentially be the same narcissist in a different meatsuit.

[@kimgordon3695]

😑 the #DISCARD

[@GrandAirTrineAstro]

I’ve lost everything. I had the debilitating chest pain too thought I had cancer. Now I have very painful joints, fingers and ankles especially. I’m only 51. I’m a year away from him but the games are still going on.

[@seameology]

I'm not a doctor but at your age, I had painful joints. Could be partly menopause and also I left the narc about that time. My health has steadily improved since. I pray for the same for you 🙏

[@zenbuddha5947]

I also have similar problems, only my mother is narc. I am praying everyday to the end of this ... drama!!!

[@callie4112]

​@zenbuddha5947 My aging father is the narc! I was married to a posing Christian narc 15 years....free for 10 years...then moved back home and am being scapegoated, exploited, mobbed, gaslit, and lose my executive function after insidious rage encounters. Bullying and disrespect! I still care about my father and worry he will die if I leave...but he does whatever he wants....and is often uncooperativeand medically noncompliant. He is now alcoholic. I am saving money for an RV or to move away but I still feel guilty and trapped. My siblings also join and slander me...they are golden and enabled.

[@deniselanham2463]

I was experiencing chest pains therefore I was suspecting heart problems while I was with my narcissistic husband. I got out of the marriage because of the disrespect he treated me with. I asked him: “Didn’t your mother teach you manners?” He replied “It didn’t take.” So to me he seemed proud of his rudeness.

[@dlzzthefish]

My covert narc boyfriend’s narc mother used to defend her abusive malignant narc daughter & her psychopathic husband saying “That’s just how they are!” And “his mother didn’t teach him Manners.” I stopped going to family gatherings. She couldn’t understand why. I was the bad guy for not going along and playing the role of scapegoat.

[@MegaRose1958]

This is really a great video. I can relate to everything you both spoke about. My self-esteem really suffered when I was in the Toxic relationship. Some of my coworkers took advantage of me during that time. I couldn't focus like I needed to to be able to fix the machines I needed to be able to work on. As soon as I got out of the relationship I was able to start to be able to think more clearly. I was so happy I was able to again speak up for myself and do the things I needed to do on my job. I will never again let someone rush me into any type of relationship!! That was the first mistake I made. I also went against my intuition.

[@susanhay4982]

Me too. Lovebombed. Rushed into marriage. Big mistake. Should have trusted my gut feelings from the start.

[@brightpage1020]

The agoraphobia is real! The self doubt anxiety … can be self isolating even after the abuser is gone, right?

[@AlphaDeltaBravo-t8j]

Long after they are gone. It lessens, but certain situations can make it come back! I pray we all find healing.❤️‍🩹

[@nailymartinez123]

The worst feeling ever is when you know you know it, you already educated yourself about the topic, but you don’t know how to put it in the correct words that makes you believable.

[@L.RaeHoldt]

Your mind knows before your heart. The health symptoms make simce when you realize the relationship is a lie. Cognitive dissonance.

[@kaeliarobinson3108]

My new partner catches me when I am doing things based on my past narcissistic relationship, such as walking behind him, trying to carry my own bags, checking his emotional state constantly, and feeling that if he pays for dinner I owe him something. He's a blessing! ❤

[@carolhill8917]

The parental alienation is a gift that keeps giving, not just with memories not made with ED, but with the impact on my health.

[@Mal-wf7tx]

Hearing your experiences (& having read your book) just breaks my heart for all of us. I started to tear up listening to you both in this video. I’m currently experiencing the separation abuse phase while my 2nd CN stbx is off with his replacement victim (delaying our D). I just want to be fully free of this craziness so my nervous system can get back to some level of normal. Thank you both for the wisdom you offer.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

I'm so glad it's been helpful--and especially that you know you're not alone.

[@iw9338]

Yeppers 👍 me too 😢

[@kimgordon3695]

This woman is a victim of Triangulation 💜

[@carlaplotner]

WOW, I can relate to trouble speaking, listening to my own voice and becoming detached, unable to continue due to self-consciousness!

[@angiemaster007]

#1 For me, my ex deflated me constantly with triangulation, right from the love bombing stage. I felt inferior for everything, including not being taller than 5'4". He collected and printed erotica and porn filed in 20+ 3" binders and on 35+ flash drives. He had a fetish I had to participate in. 15 years of marriage, feeling so insignificant, caused emotional and lingering physical distress. I will never be the vibrant person I was befor 28:00 e. It's been almost 4 years since my divorce. There is finally some relief from hyperventallation and panic attacks, rashes, hair loss.... However, I live alone. I am slightly agorophobic but enjoy the peace and solitude. I appreciate this video since I am where you ladies are. Recovering with knowledge. We know what happened to us, and we take responsibility for our own actions. Best wishes to all who are recovering. 🎉❤

[@lydiagibas114]

The mutism scared me. I could think it just couldn't say it. It was so bad I started talking in my sleep. Thanks for this talk.

[@lwontherez7927]

The narcissist want you to cater to their needs. But it doesn’t go both ways. They don’t want to be at your server or at your beck and call, but you must be out there whenever and wherever they need you.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

they expect you to sacrifice yourself completely while getting nothing back in return.

[@isabelleheath7749]

My abuser has never gone away😢 Great video I feel at home.

[@lwontherez7927]

I also felt I was living a about to have a heart attack moment every day and every moment of every day

[@martha2540]

I identified with " I lived for him", I was once there, I totally understand 😊

[@MegaRose1958]

Please don't forget to have focus groups for men too. Some men have experienced being in Toxic relationships too. My brother stayed in a relationship that his Doctors told him he needed to get out twenty years ago. He has MS, he lies all the time. He never talks against this person that didn't support him! She neglected him and isolated him. I want to get him some help. My mother is now taking care of him. But my mom and sisters are taking care of him. I'm concerned for my mom because she is close to 90 yrs. old.

[@brightpage1020]

We hear this so much from men. There are a lot of women’s groups. I don’t know if there are men’s groups but if not you could ask a male psychologist to start one who might have some experience with this.

[@velvetgardenia]

I remember the No comments EVER or as a little breadcrumb treat, especially when I knew I looked good. They are extremely invalidating.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

And they are so good at finding the smallest ways to withhold support and kindness.

[@stricklandsue515]

I needed to watch this video. Before I went "no contact," I also had that feeling in my chest. I had a lot of pain. I actually thought I was going to have a heart attack. Now I know it was the stress with the narc. I also had problems sleeping. He's in prison, and he still had this control. He ordered me not to ever turn off my phone. He would stay on the phone with me until 10 pm. and would wake me up at 5 am. He wanted to make sure I wasn't on the phone with anyone else. I feel so free now, but I know I have ptsd from this experience. I shake when something reminds me of him. The stress of this year really took a toll on my health. I'm taking it one day at a time. I still have my moments of missing the person I thought he was. He's not real. He's fake.

[@brightpage1020]

Ladies, don’t let your listener’s ignorance get you to 2nd guess yourself. That says more about those you chose to tell who felt disappointed in you by your abuse than it says about you. Abusers choose people who are attractive for the same reasons others choose them. Victims are: - attractive - smart - caring - upwardly mobile - generous - compassionate - agreeable! Everybody can have vulnerable moments, chapters or seasons in life, or fall to abuse during those. Anybody. All it takes is a vulnerability coming into contact with a potential abuser willing to exploit it. It doesn’t mean we have to be impenetrable to abuse but learn to recognize it and discern the best way to deal with or distance ourselves from it. To protect ourselves or to put our guards / boundaries up.

[@brightpage1020]

I love the little support communities that grow and help each other learn in these comment sections. Thank you, Ladies for creating a space for these conversations.

[@JanetMitchell-y8i]

OMG, now both of you are describing my life. During the discard he said "you know how you twist things in your head, you know how you do." I finally said no I don't. Him- well you should by now. He never said that again.

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

I always look at it from another direction Im LUCKIER than most, i got out ALIVE ...many DONT I only look at what I GAINED not in what was lost. This mindset makes all the difference inside 😊

[@azaleaslightsage1271]

Here's what I also KNOW Talking about it constantly, listening to others talk about it constantly, actually HARMS YOU MORE keeps you inside the trauma. Every single time you talk about your abuse, your now abusing yourself. STOP just STOP feeding yourself poison STOP listening to others feeding you continuous poison. You WILL HEAL all on yr own, your mind/body WILL regenerate rejuvenate reset itself back into balance again, if you LET IT Talk about it ONCE write about it ONCE then let it all go. STOP all the annalisation of it, STOP reinjecting reinfecting yourself by continuing living in narcissists/narcissim. The therapists NEED you to stay weakened to feed off you, to make money off of you. So stay away from them. They're just as bad as the narcissists. They're also now controlling manipulating you and NOT for your benefit!

[@cameroncrazymom]

My narcissistic relationship is with my mother. I went no contact on May 23rd. But now she’s turning my son’s against me. I’m heartbroken.

[@phat-katkitchen283]

They never compliment you at all but will compliment other woman ✅✅🥀

[@KeishaWilliams-e6d]

I NEVER caught colds until this last year with my narc. Now the asthma is gone and my immune system strengthened.

[@Sally-ih6ls]

I agree you lose who u are and I don’t think you’ll ever be thecsame

[@PPK-727]

Thank you SO much! 1,000% spot on.

[@MegaRose1958]

OMG this is a great video!! Thank you for making this video!! My friends, family and some coworkers knew that something wasn't right. They knew I was going thru something. I'm glad I shared with several of my friends when I went to their homes escaping the Rage I felt from my Toxic relationship. I was in this Toxic relationship for five years. I didn't learn about Narcissism until after I called the Domestic hotline later that eve. one of Dr. Ramani's video came to my ph. I am so happy you both are sharing your life experiences!! It's been two years since I've been out of that Toxic relationship. I am so happy to be out of that Toxic mess! I'm sharing your videos and others with my sisters , friends, family and some coworkers. I don't want anyone else to go thru what I experienced either. This was the worst relationship in my entire life. I thought in the beginning this was the best person I could have ever met! He was so nice and helpful in the beginning.

[@susanhay4982]

Totally agree. I fell for his charm in the early days. After two decades of trying to make our marriage work, I'm now wiser and am getting divorced. I have PTSD from the continual daily abuse. Thanks to channels that educate us like this one, I am now slowly moving forward to a better future without the emotional chaos.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

I'm glad you are moving forward--that's a huge step.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

yes, they have fooled everyone of us.

[@MegaRose1958]

@KerryMcAvoyPhD I was just thinking the feeling of knowing you want to get out and you know you need to get out reminds me of watching people getting sucked in by quicksand. It's an awful feeling !

[@cougmom9317]

Love you ladies ❤

[@heathermjordan-durant8684]

I appreciate your honesty. ❤

[@lwontherez7927]

The plans we had as a family were Only ever His Plans! When we did “date night”, because that made him look like “The perfect husband”, it was always and ONLY ever “for show”. So he could convince himself and others that he was “the perfect husband.” Only EVER dinner and a movie, where, at dinner, HE was the only one who talked (AT me). And you don’t really interact in a movie. However, we went every Friday night, never failing. As a show to the world / our religious community and himself that he was a “good husband “. His family had to “be perfect” for the world to see, as well! No mistakes allowed THERE! Or flaws! Or insecurities! I once suggested we do something else for date night: billiards; Ping Ping; air hockey; skating; ANYTHING…different. He absolutely WOULD NOT. In HIS mind, I was his mother-even though HE was the one who was outwardly controlling. [AND manipulative!! To the max. However, His manipulations we’re to make others feel guilty, NOT by outwardly accusing them; but by HIS DOING NICE THINGS FOR THEM. Who could EVER say “no” To THAT!!?? I finally did. And boy! Did he ever lose it!]

[@annettebierkos7928]

My husband always walks faster than me ,I never thought about it as a problem until a man told me sorry I will slow down if you want me to. I thought that's nice of him

[@JackieThacker]

This info is so right on & valuable. *Respectfully, the word Narcissist is so over used (even by me!) - I truly believe using it less will reach more people. It took me 25 years to realize my ex is covert abuser, but never would I click on a KZbin saying “Narcissist.” xo

[@phat-katkitchen283]

They will make you go crazy. ✅✅✅🙃🙃

[@braveheart977]

Wow! Ladies you hit on so many incidents and gas lighting techniques, looosing connections with family members, so many things I can relate to. Loosing hope in getting out. But surviving nonetheless. Thank you for sharing. 🙏

[@brightpage1020]

“The anxiety was debilitating” 😳 😮 😅 ❤

[@MomTube-i9w]

Oceans of blessings y'all ❤❤❤❤❤

[@dlzzthefish]

Destroys physical & mental health - YES! I’ve got an auto immune disease from surviving the daily terror of growing up with a malignant Narc mother, only to have a string of Narc boyfriends and ex husband. My whole life i have struggled with PTSD, anxiety & depression every second and I’m 62. Will I ever know peace in my body and mind? Therapies are helping but once again, I’m in a 10yr hostageship with a covert narc, financially ruined & pretty hopeless.

[@seameology]

Because I was in a narc marriage, I put up with a narc boss no one could work for. Thankfully, she quit. But she failed upward. Don't care. She was gone.

[@ValsVersion]

You are so nailing it.

[@L.RaeHoldt]

I think of all the lies, then I think of all the stuff I'll never find out about.😢

[@L.RaeHoldt]

Autoimmune---> thyroid disorders are a big on.

[@sherriepawlikowski4935]

Congratulations Lisa. I think you two work very well with each other. Happy new year 2025. 🎉

[@AwakenedOne-qu]

She did and it costs me a fortune. I don't trust anyone for anything.

[@GeraldaZainalvand]

You guys do such great work defining this problem and sharing your experiences, thanks

[@brightpage1020]

Taking meds is part of self care. Self care is literally essential for sustaining life. No shame on that game. ❤ to each, their own. Taking meds seems like a way to help yourself by meeting your own needs plus you got them from a medical professional so the fact you are able to reach out for support to qualified pros literally bodes very well for the recovery prognosis from this. Right?

[@lwontherez7927]

I really wasn’t so overweight much at all. May be a little bit, but he is to call me his “dirty wife. Not dainty or delicate or any things feminine, but rather dirty. Who wants to be a dirty wife he wanted me for having his children and that was it. And my family was a good source of narcissistic supply for him. At least my extended family was because they were pillars in the community and he still tries to be best friends with one of my. For whom I now see he married me. Ex also said, “You’re SO negative!” And, “You’re too sensitive!” Ex also walked ten feet in front of me when I was eight months pregnant (-while he was having a long term affair). Yes, you can’t have needs; be imperfect; or have insecurities. You are just part of the narcissists public, “perfect” image! He needs you to be “perfect”, because HE’S “PERFECT”!!

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

oh how painful and awful. I hope you are expunging all of that crap from your very soul.

[@annettebierkos7928]

Omg I totally get everything you guys are saying

[@brendalusheljackson7330]

Yes heart issues and depression!

[@lwontherez7927]

Yes, I’m not myself and haven’t been for years and must be agoraphobic, because I have become quite a recluse at work and at home. And yes, it has made me wonder how I pick such a person that I never would admit that I could pick. Really what I thought was our only issue/my issue in our relationship was his infidelity. His lack of connection. As his wife, I meant no more to him than any random person on the street.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

and yet such people see everyone as a threat. What a terrible world to live in--can't imagine it.

[@lwontherez7927]

Yes, my grown children already plan on taking care of their mom, who didn’t plan her finances well??? -then not admitting that a big part of the financial insanity at present has everything to do with the narcissist. He’s a millionaire and I’m all but penniless

[@meabeck]

Thank you so much for this.

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

I'm glad it's helpful

[@motowngirl5891]

Women get congratulated for being in horrible situations “Your a saint” etc How can you BELIEVE anything a drug addict and alcoholic says???

[@venuspsychicmasseuse]

I can concur everything, everytime

[@tjahmed5143]

After 25 years of physical mental and financial abuse he abandoned the 4 kids ,steal my jewelry the home equity on the house credit card max out 401 k stock and moved out of country living with his sister. My home got foreclosed children one of autistic almost on the street and he started smear campaign back home about my characters and became victim.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Thank you ladies 🫂❤️

[@MarkClay-f6x]

I can relate to all of these things

[@AquariusWoman32]

They are Demons

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

Or something quite close to it.

[@Tiredofbeinghere]

Yep, they do.

[@GeraldaZainalvand]

I developed anxiety too by living with my narcissistic husband.

[@annettebierkos7928]

I hate when I am playing a computer game, and he thinks I need him to direct me on how to play, and then he gets so frustrated if I don't do what he says. I even offer him to play it himself, but he doesn't want to do that. All I am looking for is just a bit of time by myself.

[@brightpage1020]

They want a puppet to play with, not a game paddle. He doesn’t even like the game. The game for him is that he can remote control - you! Right?

[@lizkelly876]

Get u phone & go to your bedroom & watch what u want if he comes their portend ur asleep try it.

[@annettebierkos7928]

@lizkelly876 Yes, I do that sometimes, and when I go places by myself, I can listen to things about narcissists. I am glad he can't see what I watch on KZbin, lol

[@mr6sg]

After as well. My ex which I believe is also a psychopath, took my daughter from me, put all members if my extended family against me ( don't ask me how cause some of these 'relatives' I have never met in person or vistually), made me lose 2 jobs and manipulated the court psychologist that wrote horrible things against me( I met her once for 30 minutes!). The common thing is women. All these people that he uses against me are females! Btw, his ex committed suicide and he said that she had mental issues. Exactly what he is spreading around! I just pray that to my daughter to be safe and he doesn't harm her even more😢 She is the love of my life 💜

[@twilfits]

It's been 3 decades you both are resonating so loudly! The covert insinuating!!.My ex preferred his chicken like his mother's ME: OK how?" "She burned it. It was always dry" He'd complain about money and forget he had to "babysit" his daughter when I had an interview. He'd buy a car and fall into a mood when I spent $17. on snow boots. He even said "we don't need a vacuum when there's a good broom" For a year we lived without a kitchen sink. Finally we bought one. A new BATHROOM sink!! He was making over 70k in the 80's and complained about the cost of diapers or a plumber We lived like we had nothing. He was always the victim. He refused to pay property taxes and I'd have lost the house had I not seen the property auctioned in the paper. Finally he sold his silver flute to pay and I never heard the end of it; as if I destroyed the one thing he loved for a house (that he was living In btw) He went to CA for the Emmys and won a nomination. Most were my ideas. I was home nursing. Shortly after I left and his gf moved in. He wanted me to meet her and I obliged!! WHY?? I was gaslighted for so many years. Hedsay "I have to tame you." and "I don't know what I'm going to do with you" These are dehumanizing remarks and II JUST WAS UNAWARE. I feel sorry for that woman. I get angry listening to your stories because I feel the suffering.

[@lynbarker3828]

Love u girls. Keep up the good work. U have certainly helped me. Slowly crawling out of the pit. 😂

[@KerryMcAvoyPhD]

I'm so glad!

[@MarkClay-f6x]

Oh my goodness this is what's been happening to me

[@georgesontag2192]

Divorce costs everyone. Those lawyers and the court systems allows them to just take your savings, house, 401k and assests without conscience. The judge just signs your name when they want it.

[@no.9961]

Ain’t that the truth

[@mr6sg]

The worst, in Europe the majority of psycologists, shrinks, etc...dont have experience or training on Narcissistic personalities! What a mess!

[@mic396]

Thyroid cancer ! 😢

[@MomTube-i9w]

So that's what that feeling in my chest is

[@iw9338]

Yeppers 👍 all about them 😮

[@seameology]

Friends don't understand but unfortunately I have six sisters who are going through or went through what I did. My mission right now is to get them to see the problem. Now I have nieces going through it as well.

[@ninath13]

Real talk 😂

[@phat-katkitchen283]

They do leave and you will say what just happened everything was good but they are never happy at all!