Ask Dr. Ramani: How Do I Go to Therapy with a Narcissist? | Season 2; Ep 19

🛎 If You're New Subscribe ► bit.ly/Subscri...
Dr. Ramani dives into our DMs to answer your burning questions about a very tricky and treacherous scenario: going to therapy with a narcissist.
✨Follow me on social:
Instagram - @doctorramani
Pod Instagram - @navigatingnarcissismpod
Facebook - @doctorramani
Twitter - @DoctorRamani
KZbin: @NavigatingNarcissismPod
I want to hear from you, too. Have a toxic topic you want me to explore? Email me at [e-mail]. I just might answer your questions on air.
This podcast should not be used as a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical advice, counseling, and/or therapy from a healthcare professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issue, or health inquiry, including matters discussed on this podcast.
❤️ iHeartRadio » ihr.fm/3Nl7fQy
📢 APPLE PODCASTS » ‎apple.co/3WcYtIh
📢 AMAZON MUSIC » amzn.to/3NmeuaG
🟢 SPOTIFY » spoti.fi/3gNNi8y
🎥 PREVIOUS VIDEO » • What is Betrayal Blind...
🌟 OUR TEAM
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Jada Pinkett Smith, Ellen Rakieten, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Meghan Hoffman, Fallon Jethroe
VP PRODUCTION OPERATIONS: Martha Chaput
CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Jason Nguyen
LINE PRODUCER: Lee Pearce
PRODUCER: Matthew Jones, Aidan Tanner
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER: Mara De La Rosa
ASSOCIATE CREATIVE PRODUCER: Keenon Rush
HAIR AND MAKEUP ARTIST: Samatha Pack
AUDIO ENGINEER: Calvin Bailiff
EXEC ASST: Rachel Miller
PRODUCTION OPS ASST: Jesse Clayton
EDITOR: Eugene Gordon
POST MEDIA MANAGER: Luis E. Ackerman
POST PROD ASST: Moe Alvarez
AUDIO EDITORS & MIXERS: Matt Wellentin
VP HEAD OF PARTNER STRATEGY: Jae Trevits
DIRECTOR, DIGITAL MARKETING: Sophia Hunter
VP, POST PRODUCTION: Jonathan Goldberg
SVP, HEAD OF CONTENT: Lukas Kaiser
VP, PRODUCTION OPERATIONS: Jacob Moncrief
EXECUTIVE IN CHARGE OF PRODUCTION: Dawn Manning
Narcissists are everywhere and these days it seems like everyone has at least one in their lives! Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, will help you spot red flags and heal from the narcissist in your life. Every Thursday, we will hear first-hand accounts from people who know this territory the best, the survivors.
New episodes weekly on iHeartRadio.
#NavigatingNarcissism #NavigatingNarcissismPodcast #DrRamaniPodcast #NavigatingNarcissism #NavigatingNarcissismDrRamani #NavigatingNarcissismPodcastDrRamani #DrRamaniPodcast #DrRamanNarcissismPodcast

[@michignamymichigan]

I was extra abused and confused after therapy. That conseler only emboldened the narc., and traumatized me. I am quite sure there was not much going on there but a flirting session.

[@tlakimoreki6666]

Listening to responses I'm so happy I decided to leave him. He abruptly moved out. He later suggested we go for therapy and work through our "issues". I went to bed and in the morning sent him a message "Thanks for the 2yrs we had but this will not work. All the best". Binge watching your videos, I am 💯% convinced I cut my loss. I chose the pain of separation with him rather than being with him and losing myself. Thank you very much For Ramani 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@GoogleUser-pc6tu]

A reality show with real couples and conflict dynamics and you watching and critiquing the situation from another room would be an amazing show and very educational!!

[@beegirl8884]

Therapy with a Narc is further abuse & victimization. It did not help our marriage. All 4 rounds of therapy with him made me feel worse about myself & more hopeless. This was all before I knew what narcissism is. After I became aware of narcissism, I then started therapy on my own & was able to build up my mental capacity to make my escape after 19 years of psychological warfare with my covert Narc. Almost at the finish line in the 3 year divorce process. My peace has come at a high cost but I’m thankful to be free & autonomous now. Do whatever it takes to get out of these soul crushing situations. Much love to all survivors of any kind of abuse ❤❤❤❤

[@gregbeaty4189]

Amen!!!🙏

[@JanetChui]

Thanks for this. I'm a therapist in training and struggled w a client who really swung between grandiose, vulnerable (very very needy) and super rigid self-righteous behavior. Suspected and also had several professors point towards NPD, and this video nails it--we both "dropped out"; the penultimate session had me calling out the repeating pattern of their behavior without naming any pathology. They logged out abruptly and next session, it was as if none of it happened, back to them being performative. That was my limit.

[@jonathanbarber768]

The narc also watched Dr. Ramani at my request and he said I shouldn’t be listening to that quack. That just solidified what I already knew.

[@xyzxanth7606]

They hate that they think you are going to rebel against them with ammo

[@MPR2007]

LOL hahaha.

[@kfg7248]

What happens is it turns into a screaming match of one voice belittling you and your therapist. True story he 'fired' my first therapist after my third session. Then when I introduced him into my therapy sessions with the second therapist he verbally abused me when he was asked questions about himself or our relationship and showed zero introspection. Thank God 🙏 it's over.

[@sirenanathalie]

This is such an important episode. I have watched many, many. My 1st therapist who knew me super well and never told me my partner was the narcissist she saw... and said she will help me deal with him. BUT if I had heard the word Narcissist... I would have done research, might have found you and other 5 years before...

[@Suzu52]

I refused to go into that trap....his issues are HIS issues, and have caused me to have severe C PTSD and the damage to my marriage and children were irreparable...meanwhile for decades he convinced me( and my sons) I am the problem. ...he s been to 5?6? Therapists.....and would come home and say " my therapist says you re just looking for things to be upset about,"....didn t take long for me to ask and him to confirm my suspicions- he tells them nothing of his insane behavior, just tells them my reaction....If we went into therapy, I d do all the talking....and HE would act like this "good guy", quiet victim......I hope there is a special place in h*ll for these people....

[@idid138]

The Devil is the ultimate narcissist, so all of Hell would be a special place.

[@diane19456]

I am in therapy with my NPd husband. This was a great helpful video. He has improved but he thinks I am improving!

[@MPR2007]

NPD dont have the ability to have a self awareness cause they are empty shell.

[@sophiasweet7351]

Thank you Dr Ramani it helps a lot love you thank you are a blessing ❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@12._FEMMEFATALE_.17]

I hope your program that teaches psychologists about this is available in the San Diego area 😭 I feel I deal with this type of personality in different areas of my life

[@Martec-o3l]

MINUTE 26: Hypermoralistic spot on with my family thank you for mentioning it!.

[@DaddysGrl463]

I was on my way out. Had an appointment with an attorney and had secured an apartment. He begged me to go to therapy. I decided to go ahead and do it so that I can say I tried everything.

[@abhayada108]

My covert narcissist x was all these traits you describe. Wish I knew sooner but glad to be done after 20 years.

[@nastycrafter4640]

Mentally prepare to resist the urge to smack the sad puppy look off their stupid heads. Therapist is on the ball. Pointed out hubby never says nice things about me. He's the one who overblows everything. Taking accountability is never going to happen.

[@JanetDragamore]

I died just reading your first sentence 😂 it's true though

[@catherinebullock9748]

Yikes no way.. I wouldn’t waste my time or breath… or money to hit the couch with a narcissist.

[@Noname-wn1gq]

My BF and I went to therapy, and it ended with the therapist revealing a childhood wound for him, explaining a lot of defensive mechanisms he uses on me and him viewing of me as 'the enemy'. He cried, exposed his wounds, victimhood, expressed to the therapist that it was a good session, but THEN, when he came home after work he told me "The session made me realise why we fight, it is because you do not respect me saying no to you, why did you have to make me dig this up". Exploded, got angry, ignoring me, blamed me. I text messaged the therapist and told her what happened after the session, was that a good thing to do? Since it seems for now, he wants to go to another session. I do therapy for myself since 4 years back starting this relationship.

[@cascade00]

Yes my bio mom said there was money for college, but she also had a 250k life insurance policy on me and her son threatened to take my life. Unsafe.

[@gregbeaty4189]

Yup, Waste of time. Plan your exit strategy and move on. Therapist(s) in my situation would hear us out and gravitate to my narc wife w probing questions indicating that she is the problem. “Sara, no one can make you happy, only you can make you happy” “Are you taking any HRT meds for menopause?” “If you husband does this, will you be able to move past this?’ And sooo many more examples. Never lets go of the past Relitigate every conflict and holds on to resentment Always the victim If I am ok to move on from a conflict …. Watch out !!! We’re not ok unless she’s ok. 17 year marriage and cant wait to sign the divorce papers 🤛🏼🙌👍💪⚡️⚡️⚡️

[@E.K.2003]

All therapy does is help the narcissist's learning curve regarding manipulative behaviors.

[@dcanes5720]

The money part about lending people money, who aren't family, operation or not.... That's a no for me.

[@josephwesley2317]

what happens when a narcissist encounters a person who doesn't trust anyone including himself /herself???? any interesting insights??

[@cascade00]

You probably would say that i didnt stage a rescue effort as well as the spouse of the guy who was in a cult. I worked with zero resources and i did a damn good job.

[@Cynthia-vw9ov]

No, thank you. I'm not interested in even being in relationship with a narcissist. Or continuing in one. He must be pretty insignificant in the big picture.

[@cascade00]

If you were involved in drama inside your own organizations and couldn't help, send every good wish that i am protected, and the right and respectful people are sent to help me.

[@cascade00]

Those who handle rationally are not as cool as those who sacrifice their life for an extreme take.

[@jansefran1752]

Mission impossible.

[@cascade00]

I just thought that us as a female gender - we are female, you are female, i am female, could really leave, for the female gender, a way to truly take care of the issues that arise for the female gender, the alarming health and wellness matters that have arrisen not only for minorities who were enslaved by captors, by career woman. And give the female gender hope, that not all is lost when you strike success. That your health and wellbeing don't need to be sacrificed to strike it successful.

[@geoffreystone1598]

Going to therapy with a narcissist is like wrestling a pig in mud. Eventually you realise the pig enjoys it.

[@cascade00]

You are now pioneering the women in the workforce effort. And you say you love your work and i know you love your work. I believe you that you are passionate about your work. It is alleged that someone else is involved in Ozempic.

[@cascade00]

The sense of urgency was not there, but the sense of urgency is there when you need to communicate for fun fun fun through KZbin. IRL i said to lmk if you were frozen and couldn't respond. The habit to use me for your brotherhood allegiance has caused a deep disappointment. Like i said, drug addict habit to use. Deeply disappointing.

[@cascade00]

Of course if you block teamwork Ramani i may resent you. What is more important to you, resentment or teamwork? Of course if you choose brotherhood over your own physical health, which links up to your mental health, i may feel resentment for you. What that means is, with the power, status and wealth you received, you did not learn to love yet. Whats more important to you, your health, team work to course correct in the most reasonable and rational way, or whatever else is more important to you?

[@cascade00]

What does rewarded with health and happiness define as? What exactly does health and happiness define as, in your world? You lead the efforts of women in the workforce. And the weaknesses are not course correcting themselves. They are getting worse. Youve been a disappointment as a friend, youve claimed over and over to contain capacity to be a friend, when youre needed as a friend, youve disappointed and basically proven youre not who you claim to be. And if youre giving my thoughts and ideas to med circle as some hyper. Moralistic reasoning and also allowing profits (from the brotherhood who treated their daughter like a dog and worse than a dog) then you are only a sad pitiable cult member. Who is not who you say you are, and nobody underneath you is trusted at all. Beyond a disappointment, a true pity, that you would rather publicly have an argument than allow for team work. That is why your magic is stripped, you know that, right? What does rewarded with health and happiness define as? What exactly does health and happiness define as, in your world? You lead the efforts of women in the workforce. And the weaknesses are not course correcting themselves. They are getting worse.

[@cascade00]

all you and those beneath you wanted, was not to be taken advantage of.

[@7_earths]

oh narcissist dread going to therapist 😅 bc narcissists don't want to be exposed as the evil ones who deserve zero love, time, and anything good.

[@cascade00]

No but if the behavior continues then you see female gender doing immensely wrong behaviors towards females to belong in the brotherhood that are retraumatizing and leave her immensely worse off. Offset the behaviors of supporting the brotherhood and AI, with a real tangible effort to help. If you cannot start a non profit then send your good wishes and thoughts for me.

[@cascade00]

Give doctors, multi millionaire females, female influencers, etc. more patience. The baby boom gen doesn't study the effect they had on all gens underneath them. The most significant change happened between the baby boom gen and those below. The weaknesses, the worst parts, are still not studied. Baby booms are still in dominatrix mode "if I had to do it (work full time plus 2 volunteer full time jobs) you do too. Some of them are telling the story of their trauma. They may not be aware that to help up a younger gen with the gift of work by cooking, cleaning and organizing, even if the rate of compensation needs to be competitive with Mexicans, that's still a gift up. The baby boom gen is still trying to process transgender and homosexual if they can even wrap head around. So thus giving a hand up only only only for the sake of the gift of work Simply so that someone beneath is helped up, with no sex no drink no drugs may not be comprehend able. They still need to either sober up, and process their own trauma. Understanding what's been done to the younger gen may only be possible by a few with empathy.

[@cascade00]

But the reality is Ramani really desired and wants somebody to truly hear ramani and listen to what Ramani says. Listening over and over and then quietly coming to fill in gaps and get her mistakes back on track, she behaves incredibly immaturely.

[@TxHoneyBee]

Therapy with a narcissist is a waste of time and money, period. Narcs go to therapy to learn exactly how to abuse you better and use certain language to discuss it. It's dangerous. A therapist who notices you're with a narc but doesn't cancel couple's therapy and recommend individual with you instead is unethical and also a part of the love scam as well.

[@sabinevonbank2606]

So right! I experienced exactly that.

[@kahyah89]

WOW riiight ~ that’s what happened

[@jayrodriguez4119]

Yup. It happened in my first relationship with a narc and I quickly recognized it in my second (&final!) Relationship where again I went into therapy with a narc. I went to 2 sessions. On the third session I called him out in front of therapist and ended the session. Afterward therapist pulled me aside to make sure I was ok enough to drive home, and told me I was spot on and was surprised I had lasted that long.

[@CatharineCummings]

​@@jayrodriguez4119Are you safe and out now?

[@jayrodriguez4119]

@@CatharineCummings Yes. But typically they never fully go away. You have to keep working at maintaining that distance.

[@KBArchery]

My father tried therapist after therapist w my narc mother. As long as the therapist focused on his issues she was happy. The minute the therapist started to address her problems she walked out and fired them. You do not criticize her. He is still married to her. 60 years of hell. We would celebrate if he ever left her. She made him become a deacon in the Catholic Church though and if a deacon divorces he can not remarry. I think he needs to leave that church too. She has him in a cage and loves torturing him.

[@gregbeaty4189]

Wow, same story w my narc wife Any therapy that points at her issues disqualifies that therapist immediately. “Oh, we need to find a xxxx therapist to deal w your issues” she says Fu@k outta here 😂

[@gregbeaty4189]

Give him my info and he and I can do it together 😎😎😎

[@yukio_saito]

I actually quit therapy when I realized the therapist is unemphatic and unsafe. She is an EMDR therapist, but I felt getting gaslighted and more traumatized. She lacks knowledge of toxic relationship dynamics. Feeling unsafe is a big red flag for a bad therapist 🚩

[@christineploeg1992]

What the heck good is an apology from a narcissist!? 😂 they lie!!! They don’t care about their words to you. Their words are nothing more than coins placed in you - their vending machine - to get what they want!! It’s a fantasy. They’re not sorry. The ‘apology’ is just a quarter in the machine to get what they want (which is for you to shut up about their abuse)

[@chercare8063]

Life with them is a vicious cycle.

[@idid138]

Yep, just a manipulation. They'll do it again or excuse their behavior or remember the thing completely differently tomorrow.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Great episode! I love the topical qna. This was a fantastic one, been there done that got the entire t-shirt collection on this one. Not successful he turned my personal therapist against me and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Thank you for addressing this in so much detail and the complexity of the issue. Just finding a personal therapist who really resonates with you and can stay a tuned is very challenging and itself let alone finding somebody who understands the Dynamics of narcissistic people or even is an actual trauma therapist to not just trauma-informed

[@RainbowCatButterflyTV]

❤❤❤ Thank you Dr Ramani

[@loveoneanother881]

Because some of us deal with narcissistic people who have additional dark personality traits it would be helpful to learn specifics related to them. Thank you, Dr. Ramani p.s. Therapy with the narcissist made him a better narcissist.

[@lenayo5039]

Thank you Dr Ramani! I have read your books and listen to your videos and podcast. You'd helped me unravel so much baggage ! Amazing

[@KBArchery]

Dr Ramani you are a pioneer in this field. Keep it up! We cheer you on! I have never had a therapist even know what narcissism is. And please people be careful when you are a Christian like me and want a Christian therapist. My Christian therapist when I began sharing about my narc mother’s abuse made me feel guilty for even talking about her and she made excuses for her. “Every parent isn’t perfect. We all make mistakes.” “You need to forgive and understand her” This was when I finally went no contact in 2020. Because of the therapist I invited her back into my life and she used this opportunity to do unbelievable damage to my relationship w my youngest daughter and me. She did not understand Christianity. Hers was a watered down be nice to everyone version. That’s NOT the God I know. Jesus always confronted sin and abuse. He was no doormat. Be very careful interview the therapist. Just because they have the label if Christian means nothing. Better to have a therapist who understands trauma and narcissism anyday

[@user-jc8py7dw7r]

Christian therapists are the worst.

[@Martec-o3l]

Sorry this happened to you and good that you realized it so u could turn it around for you. There are 2 things I beleive not to be mixed education with religion and therapy. I resonate with you about the damage to your relationship with your daughter.

[@sabinevonbank2606]

Correct

[@loriguercio4374]

I'm so sorry for what u went throught 😞...Jim Cress, he is excellent as well...Good luck with everything...❤

[@christineploeg1992]

I hope you and your daughter healed. ♥️ spot on description of many Christian’s. In fact it’s a perfect vignette of the church today. Weak ignorant and duped!

[@Speedracer-Girl]

You don't go to therapy with a narcissist to help your relationship. You go to therapy to hear about what you "should" be doing, how you "should" be acting this way. You "should" know every nuance that will make your narcissist happy. You "should" allow them to talk to you like a child. And don't forget: You "should" try to be better in every way that the narcissist is trying to change you to be! I took my "shoulds" and went NC 9 years ago!

[@jonathanbarber768]

I went to couples counseling with the Narc. The good news is that Dr. Ramani had already schooled me in this subject so I knew what I was getting into. Knowledge is power!

[@mirrojas]

My narcissistic mother “doesn’t need therapy” because she “has God.” I haven’t seen a lot of conversations about how narcissistic people use religion to control people. It happened to me growing up & it’s very hard for other to understand unless they grew up the same.

[@alexandrariedhammer7752]

I grew up the same … yes … hard to mss as me people

[@PolinaB.G]

My mother thinks she IS GOD. A cult leader with no followers, as she damaged everyone who came close to her

[@AffyisAffy]

Interestingly, she was fine with therapy, but there was no action and she could 'inspect me' during therapy. I was forced to tell her my deepest fears, etc which she could exploit later. She would hunch over into a little ball and act sad, then immediately shift back to normal after leaving. Highly discourage going to therapy with them.

[@ziomele89]

I'm going to be honest, this video kind of killed that shred of hope I had for therapy to be a possible choiche. Not that my partner ever wanted to go, but even if I'd manage to leverage her self-interests in order to go to therapy, from the look of it, it's like a minefild with little to no result if not a worsening of the situation. I feel kinda lost at sea now.

[@idid138]

I got mine to go a few times. Nothing really worked. Actually had one counselor call me, apologizing that he had to kick my husband out of his 1st one on one session, because he refused to take any accountability and got really rude when the counselor held his feet to the fire. Another time with another one he was being charming and whitewashing everything, and dismissing me, I got really upset & had to leave. That counselor actually helped us a little but she was so dang sweet he couldn't resist getting some supply from her. She was an older woman and a Christian. Sadly, there was no lasting change. It takes continued therapy and desire for change. Not just seeing it is a box to check ☑️. "Look, we went, and we're both to blame." Leaving and being done, is probably the only thing that might compel a narcissist to do the work.

[@BeachyD]

I was married to someone narcissistic for 17 years - I have an autoimmune disease. 😩

[@JanetChui]

I'm so sorry. I feel ya on the autoimmune disease. Grew up with narcissistic parents who even blamed my health issues on me!

[@idid138]

Me too. Stress is so bad for it also.

[@idid138]

His 1st wife, also came down with Graves disease right when she left him.

[@blee9304]

I cried at the very end. Thank you Dr Ramani for making narcissism easier to digest. I have been to couple therapy with narcissistic exes, and they all solely focused on communication. I always wondered what was wrong with me not being able to communicate and express my needs.

[@hotPrayers]

15:44 ~ Are You Trying To Hurt Me? INTENTION vs BEHAVIOR 18:47 ~ How Do The Different Types of Narcissism Show Up in Couples Therapy? * 19:13 The Grandiose Narcissist * 21:13 The Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissist * 23:06 The Malignant Narcissist (DV) * 24:52 The Communal Narcissist * 27:01 The Self Righteous Narcissist * 29:34 The Superficial Narcissist 32:47 ~ Q: Narcissistic Wife? 36:22 ~ WARNING: Label vs Behavior 38:18 ~ Q: Charismatic Husband 43:14 ~ What Type of Therapy Do I Need? 46:14 ~ Q: Narcissistic Colleague 48:30 ~ How To Create a Narcissistic Adult 50:48 ~ Q: Screaming in Therapy Session

[@LaurenBV]

I went to marriage counseling with my NARC and I was forced to comfort him over and over when he would cry and be upset. This monster was in a long term affair belittling me and acting like I was the bad person.

[@edgreen8140]

Just Don't do it you will pay exponentially. It's all your fault in their view.

[@francesbernard2445]

One pediatrician I know who got duped for awhile into believing that I was an iffefectual parent compared to my ex later ended up going through a divorce too. She was smarter than me when going through it when refusing to go along with divorce proceedings group therapy for each of them which believe it or not was the style at the time in divorce court rooms where we both lived. Instead I went along with it for awhile so that both my lawyer and his lawyer then after only a few weeks of that group therapy agreed that my estranged husband was then cured of his behavior problems. So very unscientific.

[@susansheehan7965]

I went to a therapist for help about my relationship.She said I think you seem almost addicted to this person,but in kind of a way that she seemed to be putting me down. I felt embarrassed about that and never went back.

[@11GodsGirl11]

It's a hard pill to swallow, but a 'relationship' with a narcissist is like an addiction. :(

[@dmcsunshine1]

He said therapy was a mistake and he wished he hadn’t gone. His behaviors worsened after marriage counseling. He said I was becoming his adversary and we we’re going to war! Fear the “GAME”. Get far away from them immediately if you can let go of everything. Save yourself.

[@patriciaconnorspaszek6259]

My ex would never go to therapy. This is before I even knew about narcissistic behavior. My 13 year old daughter would beg him to go to family therapy. I'm convinced 💯 percent that he is a vulnerable narcissist.

[@sadmimikyu8807]

My therapist abused me. She is a covert narc and faked love and empathy. This can also happen and I feel we are not allowed to speak. We can complain but if there was no sexual abuse, I do not know if it even makes her lose her license. I spoke to the board and they urged me to file a complaint so they can investigate because this is a grave issue but when I voiced concern over my safety they just said to call the police. My current therapist recently ended therapy because she has no one to look after her daughter which was an issue throughout therapy all the time and now I have to sit with this wound as well.

[@marafenton8178]

This was back in 1988. Ten years married to a covert N with 3 children. They discarded and cheated then moved out. What a relief! BUT the nightmare continued as the family court ordered therapy. We were given a therapist who specialized in Veteran PTSD. They recognized my psychological “beat down” and shutdown the X’s charm and seduction. I ran into this therapist years later and she said your X “ is not evil but has the propensity to be evil”. First time I heard the idea of evil/live. N live life backwards. 🙏

[@rossothecrimson7]

This is fd up, but Narcissist only really change by beating their arse. 😂 Had to do it to a friend and it was like a factory reset, theres another one in my life but Im an adult now so I dont plan on going down that path.......but damn do they need it.

[@karlaclaudia1287]

My narcissist stepmother made US go to family therapy, she ended up charming the therapist. Then, once she got the therapist into her pocket, she made us go to individual therapy and all of us my dad included just did not trust the therapist obviously. So, needless to say, it was a waste of time and money. Then my youngest brother who was her son, found another therapist to help him cope with depression and the guilt that he felt for wanting to go no contact with her mom, my stepmother was FURIOUS demanding to know who the new therapist was because she NEEDED to talk to her, and he refused to tell her. My little brother who was only 20yo was having suicidal thoughts and she only was worry about knowing the therapist 🙄

[@ira-e6l]

Recently, I experienced a major fallout with my cousin. Despite my efforts to communicate calmly and understand her perspective, she repeatedly behaved in a hurtful and passive-aggressive manner, even going as far as insulting my family. This behavior was deeply hurtful and didn't reflect genuine care for our relationship. Looking back, I realize she's exhibited condescending behavior before, which I attributed to typical teenage behavior. However, upon reflection, I see she displays many traits of narcissistic behavior. The fallout occurred over text, which added another layer of complexity to the situation. After expressing my feelings, I made the decision to block her on socials. I find myself consumed by bitterness and hurt from the situation. I simply want to move on and put it behind me, as dwelling on it is negatively impacting my mental well-being. I felt like I didn't reply to her the way she did, and it's eating me up.

[@robsnodgrass915]

The points you made at 13 minutes, are not really possible. It took 4 months to get my clueless couples therapists, who cancelled twice.

[@af3893]

Therapy gave my ex more tools to manipulate with unfortunately 😕

[@katrinahachinsky7223]

We have to do court ordered joint/grp/individual co parenting therapy. plus he is ordered to do his own individual therapy at his cost. will he go or take contempt?

[@billyjoe4350]

I didnt know this is a condition, but i need help. I always didnt know why my feelings in any relationship just disappeared, i hate being around people, social media too

[@IcePrincessje]

What to do if you're not sure yet if your partner is a narcistic person (they're not diagnosed, but you suspect they might be a narcist)

[@kristenh2389]

38:11 this Happened to me.

[@annamathew1]

I have heard schema therapy is the only way to manage narcissism, but with the caveat that most narcissists don't go to therapy. Therapists have a challenge cause they either piss off the narcissist or placate them. But I agree most forms of therapy are useless

[@annamathew1]

For all of those people complaining about therapy with a narcissist, did you go to the right therapist? Someone who has experience with npd

[@WatersBreedlove]

I'd really love to hear your take on Parental Alienation Syndrome. It's real and deadly! But rarely discussed. There are currently several predatory youtubers taking tens of thousands from desperate alienated parents. There are no guarantees. Some parents lose their kids forever. So many broken lives & suic*des.

[@petsecu2498]

❤❤❤❤

[@cascade00]

I would have waited, for you to finish your business, to be used responsibly. For you to use me, responsibly. I would have waited. If you communicated.

[@cascade00]

Nobody said you needed to focus on poverty in a loud way. I see you take what could've been genuine and quiet and a real effort to offset the negativity of the work you do that's all internet based. Instead you bring it to the public in a loud way. That's the downside of you nbrushing aside help. The downside of refusing advisors face to face in a real connected setting. Taking Will Smiths gifts and making loud show and denying female gift and forcing what you force. . . A tremendous disappointment. Why? You are afraid, you get people to become the perfect quiet person in public and don't accept their gifts you drive them to the fringe. Sadness fear lack of love from you. When something genuine, quiet and heartfelt was offered to you. You behave very immaturely.

[@cascade00]

I guess your God is now going to reveal to me all the reasons your lies are okay and decent right Ramani? I didn't hear you say goodbye Ramani. I waited. Until my phone got low. I didn't hear you. I guess your God will reveal why you can't give the closure after last 3 years the non collaborative, non middle way, you've been interacting

[@cascade00]

Have it your cults way, then, that you and I need to be locked in combat for eternity. But you still lack control of your 🐉 dragon. the combat is dead now, you will never get the combat back your way. And your magic is stripped. The light was shone on you and your lies were revealed. You need to force yourself.

[@cascade00]

You would trade your own health, you would risk morbid obesity and diabetes, to continue to fight for the resentments you feel towards Suryakantham that Suryakantham did not protect you and use somebody (me) in the new land, to take your resentments out on, and even when i ask for privacy dignity you would continue in public? When you could actually put on some boxing gloves and hit into a pad that i repeatedly said i would hold for you?

[@cascade00]

You would trade having someone hold the pads for you while you punched, and course correcting your health back to feeling better than ever, for the brotherhood and the risk of morbid obesity, diabetes, your resentments towards Suryakantham exposed, and the fact that i now know, you use me as replacement to deal with your resentments towards Suryakantham, anyway. . .

[@nathalieswholesomelifeadve673]

Interesting what you said about the intentions of narcissists... I stayed with my ex-boyfriend (a vulnerable narcissist) for so long, 5 years, because I truly believed that he didn't mean to hurt me. He would literally say 'this was not my intention', but things/ bad behaviour would re-occur. I though he wasn't smart, and therefore he kept making the same mistakes. We went to couples therapy the final 6 months of our relationship. I realized that he wasn't going to therapy to work on our relationships issues, but his entire energy went to 'looking good towards the therapist'. Abusers spend all their energy on looking good and likeable to everyone, including their therapist! It's such a major gaslight, but it's what showed me his true nature! It took me months after I locked him out of my life before I actually realised he is a 'vulnerable narcissist' , but he said that 'those therapy sessions were abusive'!!! He wasn't able to convince her of his innocence, he wasn't able to gaslight the therapist, so it was abusive to him! I saw a meme somewhere that literally stated: "A narcissist sees disagreeing with them as abuse."!!!!

[@cascade00]

I highly doubt that the vast majority of the female who listen to you had the word trust fund ever brought up to them, and were instead taught to perform grunt type of work for their first taste of money. Yes there are female like Paris Hilton but Paris was forced into camp that gave her PTSD and she was also near enough to business to learn business. Then there are those similar to the girl at med circle who was blamed for her brothers problems, that left her confused as hell. And her parents were multi millionaires. Ask her if they ever, ever, ever mentioned trust fund to her. Sai and Rao sure managed to get to the US and set up camp in what is considered a very expensive part of the country. Did you know It was the baby boom gen that knew exactly what a trust fund was and had seen it enacted. Most of them did not extend any mention of trust fund down to their children at all. Martha Stewart was extended an 85Million dollar loan. Look at the fear in your eyes as you're talking. You could say anything and because of fear people could be manipulated into believing they are guilty. And then Kimberly Shannon can come along and say oh I wish I had a trust fund. Actually it seems what she really wished was to achieve her own success but that the cost of living was so high. Because some are very high and won't come down in the name of principles and morals. You have been a tremendous disappointment. I only asked to contribute in a way that was compromising in my favor. Using all of my own resources totally while living in a living environment that you cannot imagine. Scrimping and living on literally next to nothing. The sacrifice I made you would never need to respect nor see first hand. When a nonprofit is asked of you, Which is totally understandable that after your participation in AI that you'd set up a non profit to offset You pretend not to hear. The only conclusion I have is that you really truly needed somebody to save your inner child. You portray yourselves as people who respect woman. You've not given me any.

[@cascade00]

I saw that doctor Ramani's hype for Los Angeles is only for the CALI 1, things in Cali are looking neglected. Is it bizarre that Doctor Ramani would tell Doctor Freyd about the children in your elementary school that bullied you but you support the brotherhood that puts up signs in LOS Angeles county, that say "dont get caught driving a lemon car". (Which translates to "dont drive an old car that may have a few matters need to be tended to - all while the residential and commercial real estate in the state of california is looking dilapidated.) While you are standing on a platform to administer therapy to your mom and dads marital issues and were lucky when people tuned in. I guess it is not bizarre that you would tell doctor Freyd that. You focused in on the lesser "bad" while quietly supporting the greater "bad" I dont hear people talking about who is their shrink in California. Maybe youre talking about politicians and those in the brotherhood, as well as the elite? In LA County, dont get caught driving a lemon car. A government funded public service announcement. While the homelessness rate is skyrocketing and theres zero insights into what causes homelessness, as well as arguments about who those homeless people were born to. Seriously even those who were snobs in your elementary school and snobs in the next persons high school, are not as snobby as the government who says the people need to drive a hot and new car. In california, i saw some very hot cars pulled up next to some very neglected houses. Those whose children in california drive a sprinter van and live in poverty in a sprinter van, who may never see a home again, in their life, are definitely not counted as amongst the homeless. Silence is causing as always, new ways of adapting that are totally kept on DL, yet in that silence, nobody can know the real effects of the behaviors of those in power that are pressing down. You see how the Titan submersible had all that pressure crushing down on it, and nobody spoke out enough to stop it. Some saw it, but speaking out is not considered hip, posh, and cool.

[@cascade00]

Quietly making a small yet genuine, heartfelt difference, my idea was very good. She ignores, she rejects and dismisses. My idea was very good. Filling in the gaps. We didnt need you to loudly talk about poverty. You were needed in the way i approached you quietly about and you ignored. Yet big shows of receiving gifts.

[@cascade00]

My favorite work is still cooking, cleaning, organizing, and creating. The only work I want to be performing right now is cooking, cleaning, organizing and creating.

[@cascade00]

All ladies who have any leads to any nonprofits that support females learning farming and healing while healing from CPTSD (i can tell you of nonprofits doing similar with animal therapy) please leave your leads here.

[@cascade00]

We don't need to. But being on the forefront of the study of mental health. . . Is it a little manipulative? Oh forget it then. Being manipulative is not helpful right? Because if you really need to see if you can actually heal first before you focus on the forefront of the industry, I understand now more Why you said you're not seeing it. . . Was it in the Cheryl Burke episode or the episode before Cheryl, you were discussing not seeing people go where you had hoped for them to go. You said you're not seeing it.

[@cascade00]

I dont think that you maturely know how to be there after its been pointed out to you, that you've not been what you claimed you could be. So reach out to Anoushka. You may not even care at all about the issues i bring up to you. At least in our door closed you can find something that i found to be immature in you, in Anoushka.

[@cascade00]

You've been administering personality tests for how long. and now you've realized that you need six months to administer a personality test. A lot of what she says sounds disingenuous.

[@cascade00]

My bio mom said there was money for college, she future faked housing, and she said there was a retirement account. 😆 Not same as trust fund. And if she would make my studies impossible, i moved away as soon as i could and skipped college. I never, ever, ever expected her to follow through with retirement account. I see how that was an easy way for her to get caretaking in her later years. But she could not imagine how not only she was using me as commodity. Almost all humans her age as well, as well as the gens right below her and then people like you who come to america as first gen and tap into the "resources". And also your american helpers who follow along and do as you do. There was no end in sight of being taken advantage of unless i actually started conducting my own research into the behaviors.

[@ceciliamac4283]

This is so good. He used to tell me: I don’t mean to hurt anyone. I don’t do it to hurt… He never took responsibility for his actions. That’s what made me leave after 2 months. If there is no empathy, then it makes it easy for me to leave this manipulative creature ✌🏼

[@cascade00]

If the team work test fails and reveals that you lack basic care, you pretend not to be able to understand reasoning and rationality, then all therapists under you, around you, are not going to be able to save these people. If therapy is science and your science changes then what you said earlier was a speculation. You said yourself dangerous to speculate. A tremendous disappoijtment from you and co. All you can do now is wish that the right and responsible help areives to give a hand up.

[@cascade00]

I cannot freeze my biological moms assets. Even if i deserve reparations, punitive damages, i cannot freeze her assets. So i am looking for the most remote location to go.

[@cascade00]

And then her saying, is it a little manipulative? If it gets them in the door, it may help. . . The excuse of all excuses. For why all of elder behave terribly and cannot overcome incompetency to make a tiny difference.

[@cascade00]

Ramani yes or no: you would risk morbid obesity and diabetes, and your magic being stripped for whatever else at this moment in history her story is more important to you? Because in the end, what you wanted was, not to be taken advantage of.

[@cascade00]

Folx i went into wilderness for 5 days and im on my way back. Ramani if you wish to say goodbye, and have closure my phone has about 20% charge left

[@cascade00]

Do you see grants? Funding? My bio mom said the money was there. But if i leave the money for her, she doesnt even know if shes going to be able to take care of herself in her old age because the inflation.

[@cascade00]

All I ask is that you give a good thought that I'm well taken care of from now on. All I ask is you give a good wish that whomever can help me will help me respectfully. All I ask is that you wish that all people who should find me in society Run across me, bump into me, etc. are always respectful of me.