Navy sailor died by suicide on ship. His parents reveal what he told them

[@johnshite4656]

People don't kill themselves in those quantities just because conditions are rough. Something else was going on. I'll bet they had some really toxic leadership. Culture indeed must be the culprit.

[@gemeames1597]

I am a military veteran and I can assure you that you are most likely closer to the truth than you think. Had my own problem with barrack's housing when I served, to the point that there was no heat in the building and I could see my breath in the morning when I woke up. As a result, a group of us got together and anonymously contacted the base hot line to file a complaint. We got lucky, the base commander did a walk through and told the powers that be to get it fixed like now. We had heat within 48 hours. Never had that problem again during my enlistment.

[@MA-fg5hz]

His dad wouldn't say what was really going on & reporter ignored his comment. Very weird. Yes it wasn't about housing.

[@Plumeria808]

@@gemeames1597 crazy. I never encountered that.

[@glenndewulf4843]

The difference between a leader and a person who wants power: Person who wants power: Deal with it. Leader: I'll deal with it.

[@chrisbrown8748]

I don’t know man this generation is just built differently so I can’t call it anymore. All I know is that I spent 8 years as a Marine Corps grunt and these fought times they explained sounded like heaven compared to most of my time in the Corps. I will say that the NAVY definitely has serious housing issues and if he didn’t have any level of seniority he might have had to live on the ship while his fellow shipmates were living off base. My cousin had shore duty at the base in Rota, Spain and they had like barely any barracks on that base and many lower ranked sailors lived on various ships while my cousin and many other lived in nice houses off base with pools and maids and shit and they still complained about it😂. When I went to visit him I barely looked at him and his buddies like they were in the military because my experience was soooooo vastly different and if I had it like they did I would have stayed in and did my 20.

[@catalinacurio]

The parents must be devastated, sending condolences and love from Scotland.

[@qayoomsediq2013]

Sucide rate is unfortunately very high in Scotland

[@luke_skywanker7643]

@@qayoomsediq2013 Sorry to hear that. Hopefully, things will get better soon.

[@catalinacurio]

@@qayoomsediq2013 Mostly in deprived areas and mostly women. The rates dropped during 2020, I wonder if lockdown provided a setting where families had no choice but to be together, meaning more support.

[@lovecatxx]

@@catalinacurio I imagine that was probably the case for some people but for everyone I know it was just that lockdown was spectacularly less stressful than general life and work. I'm disabled and my partner is my carer so nothing really changed for us (though we do miss lockdown because everything was so much quieter, especially public transport) but pretty much everyone I know was happier during lockdown because of the freedom they had for their free time. I live in the two places in the country with the worst drug problems and one of them with the worst suicide levels last I checked, but many people were happy in lockdown here in Scotland.

[@AnimeShinigami13]

SHAME on the Navy! These men volunteered to serve their country. They weren't conscripts, they WANTED to be there. Our soldiers deserve the best care and accommodations available!

[@ritatownsend7408]

I agree 100%. This is an absolute disgrace. But you know what? I seriously doubt anything will change. Maybe I’m jaded.

[@dcs4219]

military budget goes for expensive hardware, dont care about the human bodies. they are cheap and replaceable.

[@StrilanGaming]

None of you have any idea what you’re talking about.

[@StrilanGaming]

@Bobby Long I do.

[@seaneastman8817]

The federal government spends billions of dollars on cutting edge weapons and advanced technology. Surely, they can spend millions on providing comfortable housing so that none of our military personnel need to sleep in their vehicles. Prisoners are treated better than this. The bs needs to stop.

[@Kidsadventurestorytime]

People really don’t know what we go through in the navy. No one listens to us until it’s too late. I went through similar issues and still suffer from it. Sorry for your lose. RIP Shipmate!

[@ChristopherMHeaps]

Yes we do. That’s why we don’t sign up.

[@Kidsadventurestorytime]

@@ChristopherMHeaps 😂 funny but if you haven’t been through it, you don’t know.

[@captainbuddyfantastic4181]

@@ChristopherMHeaps you’re a little infant .Go talk that bs to a sailor and see if you don’t get knocked out.

[@mysmirandam.6618]

Ty for ur service

[@kerryellison1312]

He doesn't give a sht like most. I'm a Marine dad was Army son is Navy. Have not heard these stories from my son.

[@tome8373]

As a former soldier during a period of seven brigade suicides, one even on the pull up bars in front of the barracks. The barracks were loud and tightly packed and full of mold, fire alarms twice a day. There was no peace between that and your roommates in a thirty by ten space I get it. As someone who moved to Hampton roads after I understand the seven sailed that try to rent an apartment together to get out of that. I slept in my car a lot when I was in and I tried everything to feel comfortable. There were mornings that I wanted to kill myself when I put my uniform on. Driving off the road was what I thought was going to be the way I go. My dad died, my grandmother passed, my mother and nine year old brother had become homeless and I had not been home in a year and a half since I set off for the army due to unit readiness and training rotations. I don’t care how strong of a man you are it will get to you being away from your family and depression will eat you up. If you can’t find friends and you aren’t sure of who you are as a person you will get overwhelmed. This is a persons pain that I truly feel living in what feels like jail barely able to afford a car and not having friends from home and not being a fan of your new peers. It is not the right fit for everyone. And it is ok to say that and if you feel that way it may be the end of your career but your life is worth more. If this is the way you truly feel your family and your friends will understand. Staff Sergeant Arbuckle saved my life by listening. He did everything he could but I couldn’t do it. It is not defeat and you can still have pride in what you did. I am sorry for your loss.

[@Meriale46]

My son was in the Army as well... it got to him and he didn't have to be in a cramped sleeping condition. He was in the Sniper program and it got to him really bad thinking about having to kill people that didn't see it coming. He called home very distressed over it and I was able to get him released from service without getting a dishonorable discharge... they told him he could reinlist in 2 years but he never went back. His father and I never blamed him for not wanting to kill indiscriminately. War was one thing, but being a Sniper is a whole different animal.

[@pambuckley5416]

You said that so perfectly or at least I feel that pain. God bless you my friend

[@johndor7793]

I dont understand at all. Why cant they simply quit and get another job???

[@bradleyfarrow9714]

@@johndor7793 you've got a 2 or 3 year contract with them

[@johndor7793]

@@bradleyfarrow9714 yeah I guess that can feel like an eternity for some

[@brooklynnchick]

My brother served a 4 year tour on the USS San Diego, he and other members of his shop team were abused financially, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and had to pay for his own food. He fell down a ladder and lay unconscious for over 4 hours before he was found. He’s been home now for 6 years, almost every sailor in his shop has committed suicide. He’s alive but he’s not in a good space.

[@tedmalabey4542]

I wouldn’t doubt that they were sexually abused. Preying on young sailors! So sad !

[@Starfish2145]

That’s nuts! Please tell this story to you congressperson or senator!!

[@pennyc11]

This is terrible. I hope you can help him heal. Life is too short to keep suffering for fools.

[@daveodell700]

This reeks of rape/sexual abuse

[@pennyc11]

@@daveodell700 Possible. My son never spoke of it. I know he didn't like working on the Geo but his dept was more isolated. His boss was gone a lot. So he got stuck doing non-related work once they hit drydock. It could be other things though too. This is hard work. If you have any issues with authority? You will not do well in the Navy. If you struggle to make friends? This too can be a problem. Still four people gone? What I don't understand is why was their family relationship so bad that they didnt come to them first? There is also a medical resource outside of the ship. I mean the Geo is in dry dock and there is a lot of transportation here in Hampton Roads, Busing,Uber and Lyft. I know the family is grieving but this needs more investigation. Just in case you are right.

[@Solidus__]

Something was going on in that ship, 3 suicides is not a coincidence! This is disturbing and sad! Not self, but country! Rest in peace men.

[@out_running_erins9118]

It’s something else….it’s hazing in my opinion

[@orchidorio]

Well, the Navy is going to investigate the fu+k out of this! A ship at sea is a very special place. The crew, the type of ship, deployment and the camaraderie. 5422

[@MelaninMagdalene]

Food shortage?

[@shirleymcdaniel1854]

It the idiots that over our military. 13 killed and 28 injured under this administration and know this happened to our Navy’s military. God help us get this evil administration out of office.

[@LeilaniG808]

As a live aboard, I can tell you ANY boatyard is insanely toxic. The chemicals are outrageous!!! No one should be required to “ live” there!

[@slamfilms2434]

My condolences, as a Navy veteran, I spent most nights either sleeping in my car, by a friend's illegal apartments, or girlfriend's dorm room to keep from sleeping on the ship in port and at New Port News Shipyards. Our chain of command was very corrupt and drove a shipmate to suicide. As his shipmates, we banded together to dig up enough dirt on the upper chain of command to get them transferred, bust down in rank, forced retirement, and more. It was a very difficult time for everyone. We got through only by banding together and helping each other out. I had vowed never to let that happen to any other shipmate. Also, MWR and the awesome folks at the USO played a big part in creating a safe space for us to be in. I absolutely love them. Shipmate sail in the peaceful waters now, SALUTE!

[@vickydupree8871]

Im sorry that you were in that situation.Im sorry your shipmate died by suicide.Im about an hour from Newport news.I hope you are alright.Sad times, indeed.

[@shellysmith1037]

Guys said that in the US Navy in 1865 and 1965 and 2005 and will in 2025. Its not a Disney cruise

[@crowleythedemoncat]

@@shellysmith1037 Are you a navy vet?

[@iriswebb3216]

My ex. was stationed on the USS Independence in Newport News. unfortunatly, if you had tried this and you were Black you would have been court marshalled. He and a friend had to make the 12 hour drive home on the weekend for R&R.

[@shanonmichigan6985]

My Nephew Was 19 Years Old And On This Same Ship About 4-5 yrs Back.. Committed Suicide In His Car Across From Port..Took Them 5 Day's To Find Him😢💞

[@stacyjpoliticscommunityfai359]

My heart goes out to these parents....very heartbreaking. Prisons shouldn't have better conditions than our US Navy ships.

[@yourneighborhoodfriendlyst9413]

There’s something wrong when prisoner’s have more rights then a young man/woman who’s willing to die fighting for his country

[@athomewithtroy1690]

So true

[@kimsyracuse764]

My heart ❤️❤️❤️ breaks for them to after that happen and All deaths I had in 6years I try to committed suicide but I I manage after that went to counseling didn't do nothing I told him I was going to do it do you think they jump at it to stop it nope but I've grown to know what's right and what's wrong and doing that that was on a breathing machine I didn't like it I woke up in that thing was down my throat helping me breathe to stay alive and I know better I adjusted to all I pray to God that I don't ever do that again cuz I'm not suicide anymore I learned true counseling has a marriage whatever comes and hits me the place I just walk away and let it be not but a bottle up in me I feel so sorry for any maybe army marines national guard any of the servicemen that does that and it kill the parents mainly god bless families that goes through something like this

[@stacyjpoliticscommunityfai359]

@@kimsyracuse764 Wow! You're a survivor God Bless you!

[@zazasnruntz7505]

@@yourneighborhoodfriendlyst9413 what rights didn’t he have? Did he think he was going to a luxury hotel? He should’ve just left

[@Aleksandra_Ješko]

The way the navy “takes care” of a lot of their sailors, specifically their ENLISTED sailors on sea duty is absolutely sad. My parents and brother are officers and my husband is enlisted. I found myself SHOCKED by the stark differences between the treatment of my brother and his peers on sea duty and deployments, and my husband and his peers on his. Especially after both my husband and my brother’s classmate(an officer) were unfortunately deployed on the Theodore Roosevelt during that Covid outbreak in 2020. It’s sad how a lot of these young enlisted sailors are seen as nothing more than bodies on some of these ships, and are treated as such. Then my parents who are older officers always talk about how much the navy cares about morale and how they deeply care about every sailor. But at a lot of these commands, it’s only the APPEARANCE of morale that matters when it comes to those at the bottom. I lost count of all the young sailors who took their own lives at my husband’s last 3 commands. I’m so angry for these parents. Because I promise no real changes will come from the ashes of this tragedy.

[@gemmalfirefly4287]

And that is what is happening in every branch of the government in this country

[@ericpirillo2326]

@@gemmalfirefly4287 nepotism puts non humane people in power and no one listens to complaints, just leads to more bullying. Buddies get an easy ride and everyone else is just a number to abuse and belittle

[@melgood8]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽✊🏽

[@Skank_and_Gutterboy]

In Newport News Shipyard, we worked an absolutely grueling rotating shift schedule that should be illegal. Going home after the mid-shift (commonly called graveyard shift), we had sailors that would fall asleep at the wheel on the way home and die in the resulting car accident. I was almost one of them, I miraculously woke up and narrowly avoided a crash. The Navy would always say, "Off-base, off-duty accident, not our problem!" I did every minute of my 6-year enlistment, so anybody who calls me a quitter for not doing 20 years can go piss up a rope, I fulfilled my 6-year contract.

[@Skank_and_Gutterboy]

@@ericpirillo2326 Yep. My department head, an O-6 captain, got an easy ride up the chain because his father was a well-respected captain in the Navy. My department head was a complete psycho. Dead serious, I caught him in a passageway late at night having a conversation with his dead father. I complained to Medical and the Command Master Chief that he wasn't mentally competent, of course I was the problem, not him! I would've lodged an IG complaint if I knew I had that option. The Navy doesn't inform people of their rights and if you ever breathe a word of making a formal complaint for anything, you get slammed down, told about all of the terrible things that will happen to YOU in retaliation, and the Navy actually follows through on those threats.

[@fernandomarquez3131]

as a veteran I sympathize deeply with this young man's parents.

[@marktwain5232]

Myself also. What is going on in the U.S. Navy these days? Ship collisions. A ship's Captain relieved of command for concern about Covid-19 among his crew two years ago. I once spent an afternoon talking with the late Admiral Stansfield Turner. I think he would not tolerate the conditions in play here.

[@luke_skywanker7643]

Same here. There's a BIG problem that the command structure of that ship SHOULD have known about -- unless they were part of the problem.

[@demarcusfaulkner7411]

Something on that ship is wrong. I wasn't in the Navy but I spent allot of time around them when I was in the Corp and I don't know a commanding officer that would tolerate such a environment. Something wrong very wrong was going on on that ship.

[@tiburciomendez9670]

What about with the sailor's decision to kill himself????

[@J3nJ3nl0llip0p]

Same. *Tipping my coffee cuz I don't drink anymore*

[@shanedesouza3738]

Superior leadership at its finest; if they didn't see this coming they have no business leading any human let alone being one in the armed forces.

[@PerfectionHunter]

If wonder if there might be some kind of chemical in the air in the ship that affects them. Stranger things has happened.

[@tedwilliams3076]

@@PerfectionHunter Lots of parents push or force their children to join. Even if they don't want to.

[@fredziffle5219]

There’s something serious going on here. Sleep deprivation of course but there’s more. Clintons, Obama, & now joe disrespecting & harming our military with their evil & woke foolishness. Afghanistan withdrawal was heartbreaking for all military.

[@DavidJohnson-hg1mz]

@@tedwilliams3076 umm I think you may have not actually listened to the whole interview. It’s ok. Some people have short attention spans and make strange assumptions.

[@wendyhardin5259]

Most family and friends don’t see the signs when a loved one chooses suicide.

[@juggaloclownpreacher]

The military did this to the 82nd Airborne to they put them in housing that was falling apart and only because of a set of parents who videotaped the poor conditions their children were living in, something was done because the military where embarrassed not because they cared about the soldier lives.

[@deltalimabravo6727]

Yeah, we lived in housing that was going to be torn down and it was a mess.

[@JK-br1mu]

Makes you wonder where the vast amount of money spent on the DOD goes........those wasteful pigs never spend it carefully.

[@annawofford559]

I hate what our government has turned into. We have to take over and help the people who defend us and the citizens . Not our enemies and greedy high ups not caring

[@RainbowMama143]

I was on the Eisenhower during refueling. I completely understand the despair those sailors felt. If I found out our refueling was being extended 19 mos, I probably would’ve done the same. If it wasn’t for the love of my husband, I probably wouldn’t have sought the help I needed to get out of there. I’m literally in tears hearing these stories, remembering what I went through.

[@Ephesians5-14]

God, this is just heart wrenching. Our troops should be treated like royalty. I'm so sorry you endured this and so sorry for this young man.

[@cc1k435]

Nobody expects it to be a picnic, but it shouldn't be unendurable torture either. 🤯

[@charlieben3672]

My friend’s husband has been in the Navy for eight years straight. He told me that there are a lot of suicides that are not known to the public. Sadly, the government will do there best to hide such tragedies from the outside world. He did emphasize that navy life is not for everybody because once you are out there in the open sea for months, “...a lot of them kinda lose it, and some would jump or take their lives. It is insane being out there without human contact.” After hearing his story, I thought he was exaggerating, but now after watching this video greatly validates everything he told me. To all Navy Officers who lost their lives, may you all rest in peace, and all family members left behind, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Stay strong. My prayers are with you.🙏

[@zazasnruntz7505]

Because they want your kids to still join lol

[@TheDistrict644]

My condolences go out to his parents. Tragic ending to this mans life.

[@kingcraven8056]

19 is a rough age in the military or out. Hormones and crazy emotions. Alot of guys his age get a dear John but I didn't hear anything about a girlfriend. He had a car so I assuming he wasn't restricted to base. Hard to say what he was thinking. Personally if I thought it was that bad I'd get a roommate and rent cheap motel room or swing a deal on a van. 12hr days you would never see them. Some people can't handle the transistion from High school quarterback to pusing a mop and then depression takes over. People commit sucide in the military all the time but 3 in a week same location is a bit much. 100 to 1 this has happened before and the navy has stats on it. Just a guess but I don't think his little brother is joining the military.

[@bmell1252]

@@kingcraven8056 I do wonder what effects the nuclear; uranium, radiation, or whatever other toxic substances soldiers are forced to use daily …is having on them. This could possibly explain why so many people, in the same place, and about the same time, would do the unthinkable. I wonder if the soldiers that ended their lives (I know he slept in his car, but I’m talking about them collectively) …slept in their cars, did they sleep on the ship? If they slept on the ship, did they sleep in certain “zones” that are more near to radiation than others? Are soldiers farthest from the radiation committing suicide at the same “rate”? , for lack of a better word. Hmm🤨🤔. Yeah, I’m just typing out loud here, sorry! ✌️ Best Regards 🍊

[@bonpaoi4736]

truthkzbin.info/www/bejne/pqKcqqyXj5doj6s

[@M.J.212]

@@bmell1252 Sailors or seamen not soldiers

[@evedavis323]

To the family - So very sorry for your loss.

[@almacortez1198]

The pain on his parents face and voice it is just heartbreaking. My respects and appreciation to him and his family. 🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸

[@iamsacredtransformations]

It was heart wrenching to watch.

[@judybrown1810]

I am so sorry. Prayers

[@kimsyracuse764]

Yes so sorry dearly so much

[@negusdawoo]

"Respects and appreciation" empty words

[@itsalllies1955]

This is what happens when corrupt politicians are in charge and are just throwing billions and trillions of the American tax payers money to other country just to make there selfs richer

[@kellyw.1779]

This is an outrage, obviously there was something going on to make 3 other sailors take their lives within a "weeks" time?!! So sad to have so many young men feel there was no other way out of their situation. A full investigation and accountability is demanded. God Bless the families of these sailors. R.I.P. Xavier...prayers from Texas.

[@rodneysherwin4489]

A SHIPS MENTAL BREAKDOWN,, CAN SPREAD IF NOT INTERVENED BY LEADERSHIP ..

[@berkosmansatiroglu]

So sad. R.i.p. Nuclear aircraft carrier maybe. Something may have happened.😪

[@maryabdi2527]

Maybe they are bullied by the older sailors what are supposed to help them cope.

[@truthmatters142]

New generation.

[@galedribble9535]

@@truthmatters142 vapid comment

[@TheMrSlyxx]

My heart goes out to the Sandors. When I was on the USS Enterprise I remember thinking I was dreaming when I woke up and saw little waves of sea water washing over the barracks floor. It wasn't a dream. There had been flooding in the middle of the night. I vaguely remember going back to sleep. One day blends into the next, and at some point you feel like you're living the same day over and over, maybe to eternity. I'm sorry Xavier didn't make it. We all salute him, one and all.

[@bobbylewisjr5250]

As a sailor I can relate. But one thing remains every day... The rumbling deck... it's harder than you or your boots. It reminds you to move with a purpose. When sometimes, you just need to receive understanding and to take it easy... Rest in peace warriors... You all are the call for a better navy. God bless the navy, it changed my life.

[@ruthschanuth9405]

I am so sorry for your families loss and America's loss. My daughter was in the Navy and recently got honorable discharge. She went through so much tragic, unprofessionalism & surrounded by so much negatively. I went to visit her at her Barracks to understand her and spoke to other Navy Crew members. I felt the energy extremely negative as they shared their current job situations in the Navy. They also worked 12 hour's on 12 hours off. Many sleeping in cars at the ports. Many turned to Alcohol and several suicide. My daughter tried to cheer them on full exhaust. I even tried to be there for crew members. These are young adults graduates from High School. Something must be done to save their souls, Definitely full blown depression was brewing & surely still continues!!!! I cried for these young crew members. Its beyond anyone would ever think that goes on.

[@Jackjohnjay]

I think something else was going on here. People don’t kill themselves over a lack of hot water or even having to sleep in their cars. What was really going on?

[@rainforestsanctuary-sounds6489]

American men are very aggressive and this trickles into the sociology. There’s also heir-achy and chain of commands protecting bad apples

[@linanicolia1363]

It will come up as the parents dig for an investigation. He may have been depressed and not disclosed it. Not everyone has the constitution to live on these ships. A tragic loss that may have been prevented. That life was not for him. There are no shrinks walking around these kids....they are on their own. Maybe the Navy should have several counselors, checking the mental health of these sailors. You get a kid out of HS and away from home and you expect a perfect robot to perform a job. It is a lot to ask. Some kids will freak out. I wonder how he committed the suicide ? drugs from the street ? used a gun ? do these sailors have guns ? I expect they do not. The parents do not say how he died. It would shed some light on the issue.

[@margaretabendroth8658]

I see Homicide !

[@jaymo436]

I served in the navy back in 1986 and my ship went into overhaul. I can tell you it's one of the worst time you can do in the navy.Working to overhaul the ship will drain you mentally. My condolences to the young man's family.

[@nonwilson5587]

Yes it was hard being on there.

[@merannicuill6435]

May I ask a (prob stupid but well meaning) question? If the ship is in that kind of state, why didn't the navy give the crew time off? Or put them on another ship?

[@johndor7793]

overhaul ship how?

[@jaymo436]

@@merannicuill6435 Most ships always gets an overhaul its mostly for maintenance and upgrades to the ship.In some cases it depends on your ships crew size the navy would put the crew in military dorms.I believe for an aircraft carrier it's to many crew members to place in dorms. Aircraft carriers usually has like 5k people on board way to many to place in dorms.

[@jaymo436]

@@johndor7793 maintenance and upgrades to the ship that's what an overhaul is basically.

[@PinkTigger33]

I don't know what is going on, but something much deeper and very troubling is happening on those ships. My daughter served on several, her last one being the USS Truman, and although she served several terms and is out now, she still has nightmares that she is back onboard and suffers from chronic PTSD from being on the ship. My prayers go out to this family and all others affected by this.

[@gailhitson6722]

@PinkT33 I thank your family for their service. When your daughter can talk about her time onboard serving our nation, there are good therapists she can talk with - both in the military as well as in the world. A good therapit can make all the difference in the world. My best wishes!

[@joevignolor4u949]

Its pretty bad when you get PTSD from your military service and you weren't even in combat.

[@greentt835]

nightmares about what ?

[@thomasschneider1858]

@@greentt835 definitely the coffin racks\beds. When i sit on my daughter's toddler bed, i get flashbacks of the coffin racks.

[@Adrian-zd4cs]

Yeah something is definitely amiss

[@Briget6]

My condolences to the family. I can't even begin to imagine what they are feeling. So heartbreaking.

[@militarymaster07]

This is awful, as a Navy Vet myself. Bootcamp is about 7 weeks, and MA technical school is about 9 weeks. He would have been practically brand new to the ship even if everything was on a "fast track". I think much more than poor living condition would have also been going on for someone this new to take his own life after joining because he wanted to follow family footsteps.

[@almostthere3733]

My condolences to Xavier's parents for the loss of their young son, and to the other families also grieving. Sincere sympathy from Canada.

[@deltalimabravo6727]

Very kind of you, thank you from a grateful American. 🇺🇸♥️🇨🇦

[@docraineyIII]

The power, and near perpetual empathy of our Canadian cousins humbles every North American north and south of the peaceful boarder we share. If all the world were Canadian, there would be no violence or war, only tasty beer, lively politics, safe streets after dark, and everyday please and thank you. The affection I feel for all of you is simply immeasurable. Bless you all.

[@JSkyGemini]

@@docraineyIII Thank you for your kind words from a humble Canadian. We'll always keep a candle burning for our good American cousins, should you ever lose your way.

[@docraineyIII]

@@JSkyGemini You are so very kind and thoughtful. Thank you so very much. Please stay safe and well.

[@cc1k435]

@@JSkyGemini Should we ever lose our way...don't look at the headlines if you don't want to see. 🤦‍♀️🤣

[@TXEROXT]

As a veteran myself, I can say with 100% conviction that the US GOV doesn't give a damn about suicide and depression among active duty and veterans!!! Also, the people they assign to "deal with" suicide and depression are the LEAST qualified to do so!

[@debrazificationmiller3119]

Agree and it really pisses me off that for every story we hear about suicide, they run the hotline number which goes nowhere. Yes, if you're on the ledge that might work but there is no care available for mental health problems. The average wait in any given ER for a mental health problem is 18 hours, and that's civilian care. For veterans, the wait can be months and months.

[@TXEROXT]

@@debrazificationmiller3119 Yep! I've known dozens of veterans and active duty who ultimately committed suicide over the years due to horrifically long wait times. The wait times for mental health that used to take months now take years! I know dozens of veterans that have been waiting for mental health appointments since covid started or that were only given barely 2 months worth of therapy to then be cut off for no other reason than the VA didn't think they were "showing adequate improvement" or that they "weren't improving fast enough" as if that's how suicidal depression works...

[@intercat4907]

As a veteran myself, I can say that you and I may have been in different branches, and during different eras. Since getting out, yes, I have found that there is no connection and that doors closed forever. But I knew my sailors, and they were never stranded like this. Respects to you, and I am sorry it was so hard for you. HM2, USN, disabled.

[@allywolf9182]

I used to sit on the phone for 3 hours with my ex while he was freaking out... he was on hold on his other phone for the entire time waiting for the VA. Suicide prevention line to take him off hold. As he was sitting in his car trying not to kill himself

[@alfredgeorge317]

My nephew served two tours in Iraq.....he returned with both physical and emotional injuries. The (Arizona) VA hemmed and hawed in regards to his mental issues, and eventually he ended his own pain. We miss him.

[@karenacton3854]

There is no call for things like this to take place. Disgusting!

[@joerowland7350]

60 + veteran a day The government tell you it 22 but if you haven't bin the va in 5 years that don't count you n most veteran don't like b treated like $hit n that way thay all ways treat use Bin vet for 33 years over 100% N haven't stepped foot in va toucher chamber in over 12 years

[@OdinSonTX10]

@@joerowland7350 Truth

[@criolubrabu2970]

Soft

[@barbararoberts1418]

My deepest sympathies to this family. When your son or daughter joins the military, your biggest fear is that you will lose them to war or conflict. What you never imagine is that you will lose them to self inflicted harm. Being that there is such a high number of suicides on that ship, I am of the opinion that something sinister is taking place on board. It is my hope that whatever is going on there will be resolved quickly so that no more precious lives are lost.

[@Skylar_Spirit]

As an active duty Staff sergeant in the US Army I can assure you that the Military does not care about suicide and depression within the ranks. " Go to behavior health " They say, good luck getting an appointment which is 4 months out and oh if you tell them you feel suicidal it will impact your career ( No drill sergeant no recruiting no Observer controller training ). Why would anyone seek out help with the system just fucks you over even more.

[@sidroik]

This isn't Nazi Germany or Putin's Russia. Why is the American Navy treating sailor like dirt? It is sickening to know that our youth are being mistreated by the military. This is sickening.

[@ras_krystafari3333]

It's the USA, homeless veterans galore.

[@MrMatt531]

That’s the Biden administration unfortunately. It’s sad what they’ve been pushing on our service members and how they’re responding

[@kevinpreston5590]

The mistreatment of enlisted personal has been going on for years

[@carrieanncancino5118]

My brother is a veteran from the navy did 4 tours over seas and came home a different man a few years ago.. I worry for our sailor's. They're higher ups treat them so poorly and wanted my brother to be a killing machine and now is not getting help for his PTSD and anxiety raising a toddler by himself and his young wife just died from cancer. There is no help for these men and women. There are horrendous stories that my brother has been put thru during his time in the navy. This is horrible the navy thought they could hide what was going on with our young men and women inlisting. Our country should be taking care of our people and they are not. Just disgusting and a disgraceful thing they are going thru..... Rest in paradise to the young thinking suicide is the only way out.

[@MilitantAntiAtheism]

Execute babies. Drown puppies. 👆🏻

[@Sharpbevel]

In 1980 I reported to a ship in the yards similar to this. It was disgusting. We lived like animals. Constant fumes in birthing areas, filthy conditions, lord of the flies mentality. I got severely depressed. Plus being a boot I got treated like crap. I know people had it worse than me during wars but I just wasn’t prepared for this & as an 18 year old kid I was in complete and total shock. My condolences to the families of the list sailors.

[@lisamiranda5653]

I'm sorry that you suffered through that and people are still suffering today. Please Lord, no more suicides.

[@fonda7760]

Thank you for serving this country despite inhumane treatment. If anyone should be treated with human decency it is people like you who selflessly sacrifice so much for others PERIOD! May God abundantly bless you and your family, military friends and family as well.

[@Supersquishyawesomeness]

Filthy conditions? It was always my understanding that was the responsibility of the crew. There are fumes and loud noises. It’s part of the job.

[@jamesflynn10]

There are shipyard contractors who are not a part of the crew. While many of them are upstanding skilled defense contractors, others are simply pigs and do things like piss wherever they’d like, just for one example. The noise is unbelievably loud and consists of grinding, sandblasting, hammering, etc. There are lots of cutting torches and welders, most of which can’t be properly vented. When I say loud, I mean having ear protection and it is still loud! I can not imagine actually sleeping on a ship in the yard for an overhaul. You would need your own respirator and some nice noise canceling headphones to actually catch some sleep.

[@tommymcweedface229]

@@Supersquishyawesomeness Right.

[@lizzysbeautyshowetc.6895]

There's absolutely more to the story that we don't know 3 sailors took their lives within the same week there is something really wrong this needs to get investigated Hopefully someone will speak and really say the true story because this sounds suspicious

[@bidenisasnake9932]

China snakes hide everywhere.

[@fluxfaze]

Exactly. Generalizing and aimless blame gaming will not produce any useful results in the search for root causes.

[@dariagreer3078]

The grievous and sad outcome of this tragedy is the deplorable leadership of the commanding officers in charge. Do not expect that anyone will be find guilty or responsible, they will swiped everything under their immoral code of silence, or they ill blamed the victims. God protect and console all of the family the lost their love one.

[@lizzysbeautyshowetc.6895]

Amen❤❤

[@bodhisattva2348]

U will have to b in the military to understand. When I was in, this was the norm

[@grootygroot6351]

I went through bootcamp with Xavier, division 473. He was our yeoman and I was Aroc so we worked closely together a lot. He was an absolutely amazing person. I will never forget the time we had together and the rest of the div. Love you and miss you brother.

[@shanonmichigan6985]

My Nephew Was On That Same Navy Ship And Committed Suicide 4 Years Back In His Car Across The Street From The Ship..He Was 19 As Well..I Just Don't Understand This..My Condolences To All The Families Of These Young Soldiers 💞💞

[@shanonmichigan6985]

These Soldiers Need To Be Held At The Highest Standard Of Protection And Comfort..Saddens Me So Much To See This Still Going On..What IS Really Going On😢

[@opalessence4818]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@mysmirandam.6618]

My condolences 🙏

[@sd8150]

Wth.... I just don't understand what's going on. This is really unacceptable. They deserve so much more for serving. Not like this.

[@mysmirandam.6618]

@@sd8150 yes!

[@brentwalker3300]

This is disgraceful. What is going on with the US Navy and on that ship ?

[@pathlatko6796]

I am so very sorry for your entire family. What terrible loss.

[@renasorrell241]

RAPE.

[@bodhisattva2348]

Same thing that happens in every other branch

[@zazasnruntz7505]

Those people there realize they were lied to but can’t leave

[@mysticwanderer4787]

I went through the same garbage during a ship overhaul in the mid 70s. We slept on bare bunk pans (when we could) through all of the noise and smoke and were expected to put in a full days work afterward. The single guys stayed in a hotel with all of their stuff piled to the ceiling, but there was at least some escape. Command climate during an overhaul is going to be bad no matter how good the commanding officer is. He will undoubtedly take the fall for this but he can only do so much. A lot if it depends on the senior enlisted (NCOs) and the department heads on down. Conditions need to improve across the board for these grueling events but the root cause is undoubtedly a primary chain of command that doesn't care about its sailors. Aircraft carriers are notorius for this throughout the fleet. Still, a suicide is rare and three in a week is unheard of.

[@mysticwanderer4787]

@@christineribone9351 Young people today are different and you have to approach them differently, but that is called leadership. I wouldn't say they are softer though that is a popular knock on kids today. My dad had the same view of my generation. Each generation is better than the one that comes after it. That's just the way it is.

[@3wolfsdown702]

A total of 7

[@SarahNGeti]

@@christineribone9351 I understand what you are saying but you are wrong about mental or physical strength. Gender (mentally) has always been a spectrum. It's good that people now embrace that diversity. Check out Kristin Beck the former Navy Seal and then your view might sound less in-line with Russian propaganda and more in-line with the reality.

[@thomaswilson8022]

@@christineribone9351 just for some clarity Do you think you could handle: walking a predetermined route where you climb up and down stairs and walk for 5 hours taking readings and monitoring the conditions as you, after that 5 hours you work for 8 hours, prepare to go back to the same 5 hour grind, wash eat and if you have time sleep. Instead of just a five day work week you do this for seven days roughly for 20- 50 days straight. Now to add to that when you walk out side there is nothing but water, everywhere. I understand this guy was in dry dock and what I described is underway. However to say that people today are in some way soft because they are not man enough is a stretch at best. I served with this strike group, men women straight bi Christian agnostic Muslim Hindu and everything else I didn't mention. They were and still are the hardest people I've ever met. There is not a once of soft in them, that was replaced with salt and motivation.

[@hctobe]

I agree with you when you mention it’s all about leadership- a good leader takes care of his group, so that they can be productive and effective at work. 12 hour days , followed by sleeping in your car(unconscionable, whats that all about?!?), noise and dust, cold showers, on a construction site certainly leads to low morale. To what purpose does it serve to treat enlisted personnel this way?? Its shameful for the most powerful Navy in the world to let this happen! This sounds more like a situation coming the Russian military- an undisciplined corrupt morally bankrupt military that only invests in weapons and equipment, but not its own soldiers- not the US Navy!

[@I2AmUS]

I am so sorry for the parents loss of their child. He was still a baby. The environment of the military can be toxic. I had a close family member that never got over her military experience. She is dead.

[@brendaraudebaugh6246]

So sorry for your loss.

[@toshihikoification]

Everything can be toxic but how do explain them saying that sailors shouldn't have to be made to live under those circumstance. As a veteran i even serving on a carrier shiplife isn't as bad as they are portraying it. He couldn't sleep due to jets doing their training, once they make e5 they can live off base when single.ship life alot of times sucked but he wasnt on some cruise he is on a military ship. Also why didn't his first classes or even the chief not offer after finding out he slept in his car they ignored that and didn't get someone from his own division offer a spot on their couch for the time being. I his higher ups failed to show real leadership. But most divisions on the ship do help sailors out like that.

[@MeriLizzie]

@@toshihikoification his parents said he couldn’t sleep because of construction on the ship & jackhammers going constantly.

[@toshihikoification]

@@MeriLizzie my bad. But still what I don't get is the things they mention they say are unlivable. No hot water, there are roughly 5 000 sailors on a carrier it happens u just have wait. Walk a mile to his car to sleep in it. Norfolk base has pier side the parking lot is as close as it can be. I do feel for them suicide sucks and his division as well as the first and second classes and higher failed their son and the other sailors who took their lives

[@tiburciomendez9670]

The military is not a one day enjoyable trip to Disneyland. Every enlisted man or woman knows what they are getting into so stop crying.

[@deltalimabravo6727]

How horribly tragic and sad. Something has to change. Glad they are speaking out and the awareness of just how common it is amongst our military/veterans. We need to help & honor them all.

[@Maddie9185]

I feel so bad for this family, brings tears to my eyes. Mom will never be the same.

[@l.medina6251]

The loss of a child is always devastating to a parent. And HOW & WHY needs to be investigated!! Many years ago a friend's so "disappeared" off a ship at sea. He was clearly thrown overboard & little was done about it! This violent brutal demoralizing culture in the military has been in place too long! Options are even less for young people at sea! Heads need to roll!! Our young men & women don't enlist to serve in the US military just to become victims!!!

[@SOLIDSNAKE.]

100% roll the heads!

[@QuinnPrice]

Heartbreaking. It sounds like it was a combination of arrogant leadership and multiple stressors.

[@asahai2]

All I can say, is that not sleeping well for days at a time can drive anyone insane. It doesnt seem like the right conditions were present in the ship for sailors to relax when done with their work shifts.

[@kryptonarie6367]

This is profoundly sad.

[@larscain3282]

I am so sorry sir.

[@youfinallyfoundwaldo1364]

There’s one thing that keeps coming to mind as far as what would make a proud military man commit suicide AND something he’d never talk to anyone about…sexual abuse. I wonder if there was some twisted type of punishment…like not regular sexual abuse but something that infringed on a man’s sexual boundaries just enough to torment him and not feel like he could complain about it under the term of sexual abuse to his higher ups. And then be stuck having to deal with harassment and bullying for trying to report it-IF they even would have the courage to report it.

[@maam-yj8ph]

I have to wonder about that too. This type of abuse needs to be investigated and punished.

[@nineteen96]

bold of you to assume js

[@ihavethoughts5104]

The lack of sleep causes severe anxiety and depression. The only times I have ever wanted to commit suicide has been when I have not had enough sleep. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@krystingrant6292]

Facts

[@mjohnson1741]

Working at ridiculously extreme HIGH stress job made me almost become an alcoholic and come home and cry everyday. Learned my lesson the hard way about being happy and quality of life.

[@channeliman521]

Me too for years that don’t stop me to push the kids in the right direction excuses and more excuses 😞🙏

[@BeccAcCardenas]

Very true about the sleep.

[@Iceisthegoat]

Good thing I sleep all day lol

[@dcoleman4444]

Something pretty awful must have been going on for this to happen. I lived with construction happening outside my home for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and it was so horrible, I literally felt like I was going to lose my mind. It also affected my brain to the point where I had to see a neurologist due to the constant vibration and banging. It severely affected my physical and mental health. My condolences to all of these families.

[@irynawilson1002]

Tragic and heartbreaking loss. Sincerest condolences and prayers from Canada.

[@messagekem]

My heart goes out to this family this is so sad! He was a beautiful young man and I’m sure you had a beautiful spirit

[@ernie548]

As a navy veteran and carrier sailor, there was a very strong negative culture abound. Not all people but a great deal of them.

[@eyeswideopen7777]

What was the negative culture

[@ernie548]

You'd have to live in it to see it. A great many bad attitudes. I'm sure not all, but quote a bit.

[@eyeswideopen7777]

@@ernie548 like living in jail?

[@donnafoggin1432]

Absolutely heart breaking.Something evil going on that ship.So sorry for their loss.R.I.P young man.

[@aaronmatthewsalinas1408]

Probably saw something at Sea he wasn't supposed to talk about once he got back home,maybe saw UFOs landing on the aircraft carrier?

[@linanicolia1363]

It is very stressful and dangerous to work on the flight deck of a carrier. The danger is accepted by these men but there has to be an element that does not appreciate their efforts or even worse, that looks the other way when bad behavior may be tolerated instead of being fixed. The Navy needs to be made aware of it and they need to work on improving it . It is not fair to see these young people as disposable commodities. The recruiters do not do their job, properly ; these suicides are the proof, something is not done right.

[@fumblerooskie]

This sounds like a massive problem of profound sleep deprivation causing severe depression. I can't imagine what kind of commander would put their crew through that.

[@incisivecommenter5974]

I can! That's how most(if not all) commands at sea work. It's a game of cat and mouse, sailors looking for hiding places to take a nap, and the leadership hunting for them. I worked in the engineering spaces, and the best place to take a nap was in the bilges, it was very filthy, but it was cold, and quiet most of the time, with a very low likelihood of a chief or an LPO coming to look for you.

[@fumblerooskie]

@@incisivecommenter5974 The bilge you say? It's no wonder sailors sometimes kill themselves.

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@@fumblerooskie yep, the bilges. That's not even going into how deeply toxc the leadership was. It's been happening for decades. Looking back on it, I'm marveled at our mental endurance and resilience.

[@lblack1961]

But that is what often is required (by nature of the situation, not command) in war....

[@incisivecommenter5974]

@@lblack1961 Be that as it may, the Navy still has a long way in improving sailors QOL without compromising training, and changing a lot of the toxicity of it's leadership. It's come a long way already, but given all these suicides theres still a lot more to go.

[@GwarFluffyGoreGuts]

The Navy is a tough lifestyle. I thank you all who served our country. It's not like it's a job you can just walk off of if you get angry, bored,tired,hungry, lonely,thirsty,sick there are no birthdays, no anniversaries no Christmas most do not get to attend a funeral or birth of their children. All things to consider.

[@Quadirmiller]

So True

[@johnblackbasel393]

The lack of private space, constant scrutiny.... And as for sleeping during a 12h shift, it's no avail: if u get the call, u better be well awake already. As for religious practice on board, it's is very underestimated as u r basically... living on a full metal vibrating island. Sounds stupid...but older folks know.

[@donadams8345]

The military can be tough but this was totally inhumane. You are making excuses for inhumane treatment which is reprehensible.

[@intercat4907]

Yeah, Melissa, it's a serious life. But this was in no way a mission-readiness situation. This is a wildly dysfunctional situation. I watched the sailors under me like a hawk - this sounds more like a group of men who were marooned than like a crew.

[@shem760]

Can someone resign when they feel overwhelmed?

[@DulceN]

Very sad to hear about this family’s loss, my heartfelt condolences to them and I hope they can get some answers. I did not serve, I was a Navy wife for 27 years and heard very many stories. The GW was part of my family’s life in the early 90’s and it holds a special place in my heart. My husband, then a young Lt., SC, was part of the second crew and fist deployment and the ship went through milestones such as the 50th anniversary of D-Day off the coast of Normandy. My daughter was baptised on the ship’s bell and her name is incribed on it. But apart from the nice (and not so nice) memories, I learnt that working on that ship was grueling, even for low and mid-rank officers and not for the faint of heart. Shifts of 12-14 hours were not unheard of, to the point that during deployment my spouse (a healthy fellow and a workaholic) was found unconscious at his desk, exhausted and dehydrated , and had to be on IVs at the infirmary. I can’t imagine what the sailors had to go through with more physically demanding work… It is common practice for the crew (officers and sailors) to live onboard during long overhauls and having to deal with all the discomfort (noise, smells, fumes, cold showers, reduced spaces…). My spouse had to do so twice, while on the USS Suribachi and the USS Gettysburg, as there were no facilities to lodge the whole crew outside the ships. That said, military life is not for everyone and the newer generations don’t seem prepared for many things that were part of previous generations’ every day life. It is not possible to make a judgement not knowing what this sailor kept to himself, but it should be very worrying to have so many casualties in such a short period of time and the matter needs to be fully investigated, even if the CNO has to get involved (I met Mike Gilday while on the Gettysburg and he seemed to be a caring, considerate person).

[@nogunnofear6703]

This is just too much. My heart goes out to his parents it's heartbreaking to hear this. What is the Navy doing to these young men? I was in the Navy and I loved it. I never experienced anything to match this. It's in- excusable and has to be fixed to the extent that it can be. Their beautiful son is gone and they have to spend the rest of their lives with unanswerable questions. Breaks my heart. I hope they can have peace somehow . I pray that they can.

[@MrMatt531]

It’s the new CRT stuff 😢

[@Tomas_Pita]

@@MrMatt531 Perhaps you should do the honorable thing... and delete your comment

[@MrMatt531]

@@Tomas_Pita the honorable thing is calling out what’s causing this and denouncing racism. I’m sorry you won’t do the honorable thing and join in! Our service members deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. I’m sorry you disagree

[@austinc5500]

He is right it’s the woke lies pushed by our leadership

[@Tomas_Pita]

@@MrMatt531 Seriously, Ewe Peeple have lost the plot by so far now I can't even imagine holding civil discourse with you. YA done broke bad. Hopeless

[@sgrvtl7183]

I am very sorry for this family's loss of their son. We never know what is behind the scenes until people come forth. They are brave to talk about this.

[@richardgregory9354]

In 1982 while serving in the Navy, I had lost my Brother due to Chemical Exposure while he was serving in the Arny. My next duty assignment was on the USS Forestal (facing 3 years in drydock) That assignment led to me resigning (sole survivor discharge) rather than finishing my Enlistment. Dry Dock conditions for Sailors are pure Hell.

[@blondespitfire]

Really…why is that? I’d think being at Sea all the time would be mentally more difficult to deal with.

[@ericpelton4533]

I can imagine the hopelessness after signing up and knowing that you're TRAPPED FOR YEARS for a paycheck and some free college!! So Sad

[@JacksonPierce]

This is awful but I thank you for the courage and willingness to share this with the world. My condolences for your loss.

[@h7opolo]

I was on that ship for a year. One of the common sayings was "Happiness is secured," "secured" meaning "inaccessible."

[@beefstew4698]

Dear God

[@howardkerr8174]

I spent 21 years in the Navy and I realize that I never was in a situation like this young man and his shipmates, but I can imagine it was pretty grim. In 1980 I checked into a squadron in Texas and was told I would be working 12 hours on 12 off...7 days a week with one weekend a month off. The base was in the middle of nowhere in Texas, tho to be somewhat fair to the Navy there was a theatre, gym, and a few hobby shops, IF you had off time. The bad news? The base was small, the nearest town was about a 2 mile walk...and NO BUS SERVICE. It wasn't until my second year there that I found out my squadron had THE LOWEST rate of retention in the whole Navy. Nearly everyone who got stationed there got out rather than re-enlist. Another squadron at the same base had the second lowest retention rate. Alcohol use was a problem as was drug use, nearly every shop in our squadron had someone who should have been in re-hab. Yet, from what I have seen and know about the other services, there are units/bases with similar problems. Maybe recruits are (still?) being given unrealistic ideas about life in the various services?

[@darensmith6705]

Sounds like Brownsville, Texas!

[@louisejohnson6057]

To not be driven to suicide when you join any branch of the military, is not unrealistic.

[@NeedMorePlebs]

those military add commercials make it look like an adventure

[@winros]

My uncle served 8 years he worked on the ships he was stationed in Japan this is going back in the late 50s... My my sister enlisted she was in the Navy she was stationed in the Great lakes! Why do you think this is happening? I'm so beside myself to hear this my heart goes out to their families! ✌️✌️

[@ineedabetterusername7424]

"Unrealistic expectations" It's one thing putting up with difficulty or physical hardship for the sake of others -- It's another to be treated like sh*t out of "principle" or "tradition." Nobody joins the military expecting it to be easy. But expecting an effective amount of rest and recuperation -- not to mention, respect as a volunteer even if you have to scrape sh*t off the bulkheads or drain piss from the bilge -- is by no means unrealistic. What's unrealistic -- infuriatingly absurd -- is the P.O.S. martinets and insecure little tyrants who think the military is the place to be a bully because momma didn't hug you enough as a child, so you take it out on lower-ranking people. THAT is what drives people to suicide -- the inane, inhuman, absolutely unneccessary (and waste of tax dollars) approach to intentionally treating people like garbage. Some people need to grow up. Inflicting inconvenience and suffering for no reason other than "it builds character" is a worthless approach to leadership and command culture. True leaders shovel sh*t with their own people. True leaders sweat. The military needs sweatier leaders who don't flinch getting sh*t on their uniforms. Suicide rate would go waaayyy down if leadership at all levels actually cared about their people. Spend as much money on keeping your people functioning as you do on your machinery -- Or suffer the human wreckage.

[@wekabird886toktown7]

I could see and feel the pain in his mother even before she spoke. There's no other pain that equals when you lose a through suicide. I know this 1st hand.

[@lisamiranda5653]

My heartfelt condolences to you too - on your loss.

[@linanicolia1363]

yes, she is suffering. The father seems very tough as we can see him promote his son for what he used to be, an athlete in HS and someone who follows what his father and grandfather have done before him. Maybe it should not have been his choice ? Sometime, you should just listen instead of pushing or making demands to be the very best, kids can be. Sounds like a recruiter.......Not everyone can tolerate such a life style. Losing a child to suicide has to be the worst a parent has to suffer, as they feel , they have failed, at being a parent. In time, they will move on, but they need to learn how to let it all go. It is not their fault, as no one can be blamed for the unknown, that has not been shared. You have to let them go and forgive them. Only then , you can move on, as an individual, not responsible for another person. We see too many suicides of young kids. It goes against anything parents expect. The car crashes, motorcycles and other accidents , all can be "accepted," but the suicides are the hardest. My heart goes to them, especially towards her as she seems totally devastated. The efforts they are making to get to the bottom , will be a positive , healing part of their future, even if it digs into it ; it also brings it to the surface , where it can be shared. I am glad they are talking to the media.

[@janicewilcox907]

What a same so sorry for your loss 🙏

[@resourcedragon]

"I wonder what you're going to miss the most about him," is not a legitimate question. The introductory questions already revealed how his parents and family felt about him. That question just causes his parents pain. The questions need to be about what happened and why and what Xavier's parents want in the future.

[@narlywaves2371]

She's a dolt.

[@bkm2797]

Wow, this is tragic! Total of 7 with 3 in one week, one of these sailors must have left a note of some kind, and if so, I hope the Navy dies the right thing by not sweeping this under the rug. So very sorry for your loss, and for the other families who tragically lost loved ones.

[@theawesomeladybird9604]

The Sailors who refurbished the USS Constitution during the 90s also live through hellish conditions. Including exposure to lead base paint with defective filters that didn't fit the masks. I was a teenager, watched as my father's health declined. Many sailors become sickened, lives shortened, coughing out lead based grey paint chips. The military needs to do more to provide for the health and safety of service members who are pressed into refurbishing equipment. They do not have the same freedoms or rights as a civilian under the same circumstances. They can't unionize, they can't negocate for better conditions, they can't quit, refusing an order can result in jail time. This brought back so many memories. I really feel for these service members and their families.

[@gailhitson6722]

Highly skilled professional do the "refurbishing". I am certain the skeleton crew left working on the ship are exposed to some chemicals, but precautions and equipment are supposed to be in place under these circumstances. The young military men and women aren't trained in the skills necessary to do the job, and specialized safety equipment is required. That work is bid out to companies beyond the ship's crew.

[@clw4430]

Yes,truly awful. I'm so sorry for that. Did you hear about any suicides from those conditions?

[@theawesomeladybird9604]

@@clw4430 no, if their was I did hear about it. I was a teen and not really clued into everything. The service members had a floating barg, dorm to live in or they could find housing. The boat was in the Philadelphia shipping yards. He passed at 52 with chronic obstructive lung disorder. I know the months of bad filters contributed to his death. I wish their was more follow up on stories like this.

[@warlockpaladin2261]

Lead paint in the 1990's? My question is when was the last time they bothered to strip and repaint?

[@theawesomeladybird9604]

@@gailhitson6722 they were given "nailguns". They stripped off the old paint down to bare metal. They wore suits and respirators. For about 6 months the filters didn't fit the respirators. They were told they weren't using the gear right, that's why they were breathing in paint. I saw first hand the phlegm and debris he coughed out. He didn't alway clean up on-site either. I remember washing his dust filed clothes in the basement washing machine at the apartment complex. Looking back I don't understand why he wasn't more careful with the dust. There was some kind of settlement and the men got some money after the fact. I don't know much more than that. I do wish there was a follow up on the crew that did that work. I wonder how many are still here and what their health is like now.

[@katrinabillings7011]

So sorry to hear about Xavier and the other sailors that died this week. Deepest condolences from Bristol in the UK.

[@incisivecommenter5974]

This has been happening since time immemorial. Toxic leadership, bad accomodations, long hours. As a matter of fact, I thought it got better in the last 10 years, compared to how it was back in the late 90s. Where on top of all that we were told, we were easily replaceable/not worth much.

[@staycesedgwick9557]

My son was stationed on the Lincoln and complained often to us (his parents)about the conditions. It was very challenging for him.

[@georgebutler4348]

I'm a 63-year-old disabled veteran and the worst place in America to seek help for anything is the veterans hospital

[@teresina1809]

I'm a 48 yr old disabled vet(female) and I agree with you 100%.

[@turq99]

My condolences :( it sounds like the superior in this lad’s army didn’t deserve his roll. And it’s awful how he kept his feelings inside. Iam not an expert in warfare but I think it’s underestimated how much mental stamina these men need and have to push through all kinds of conditions. This unit deserves better so do veterans.

[@oddish2253]

Psycological trauma can be concealed. It depends on how the inflicted process the experience either to themselves or others.

[@turq99]

@@oddish2253 I know it varies from person to person but I still think these men get pushed to their limits and deserve options to deal with trauma.

[@emmayanetsky1211]

This needs more coverage....these sailors all need off that boat. All the noise, the heat, never leaving the boat but being stuck at Port. That's like prison...it is wrong and heartbreaking

[@chelittle6433]

There's more to that than this. Being on a ship out to sea for extended period of time is what the Navy is you're on a ship come on now. But that does not excuse what has happened and is going on in the Navy. And as a Navy veteran myself there's more to this that's why they're investigating it and they will find out and it will be corrected. And as I said that they are looking into the command structure and culture of board that ship is more than likely for the problem lays. But you also got to keep in consideration one thing a lot of people don't know is that the United States Navy has an extremely high suicide rate most people cannot handle it which is a shame but some people just simply cannot handle it and they don't get weeded out soon enough.

[@operationlivefree4536]

@@chelittle6433 thank for your service and thank you for the insight

[@debrazificationmiller3119]

@@chelittle6433 Shame is the key word. In a culture that shames those with mental health issues there is little hope. In the civilian world, mental health care is abysmal so I can only imagine with a military culture and a lacking health care system what that's like.

[@chrismaggio7879]

Emma... it is in NO way a prison. Your opinion is meritless and uncalled for. The situation for every sailor is different and personal, but there are some who are affected more than others. The in-port shipyard is difficult, and I know this first hand (Plankowner). They should absolutely have had more safety/morale inspections especially in a rebuild/refit environment. The sailors are usually housed in the shore based barracks (Huntington Hall in Newport News) and junior/senior enlisted should have pushed harder to ensure the safety issues endured by their underlings were not ignored by their superiors. So sad. Feel terrible for their families and shipmates. That said, if you know or suspect your shipmate or fellow soldier/marine is having a problem please please please talk to them! Help them if you can.

[@oldcrowtj4937]

In 1981 I served on the USS New Jersey. It was being refited and modernized. Built in 1942 it was in rough shape. Shake down cruises were pretty rough. No one complained up the chain of command or took their own lives. Maybe we were just tougher. Maybe these kids were indoctrinated and not taught. These are the Participation Trophy cowards. Hope your hapoy America. 2/3 of eligible draftees are to too stupid, too fat or too cowardly to make it through boot camp according to the DOD. We're in big trouble folks. Get rid of title 9. Fire all so called teachers that indoctrinate.

[@fightclub8020]

As a veteran, having the suicide prevention hotline outsourced to India seems about right.

[@i.m.watching5536]

Heartbreaking.

[@dehvonrennie2096]

I'm a sailor myself stationed on USS Kearsarge I understand completely how It feel living on a naval ship. I live on a naval ship for one year It was pretty bad experience. My condolence goes out to my fellow shipmates and their family. Nobody should ever have to live in those type on conditions on the ship.

[@blakeh6250]

Hang in there did the same thing, I did 20 years retired Chief...it gets better over time.

[@bobbylewisjr5250]

Wassup man, my 1st ship was the USS Kearsarge. Where is it currently stationed?

[@dehvonrennie2096]

@@bobbylewisjr5250 currently stantioned in norfolk, virginia just came back from deployment

[@bobbylewisjr5250]

@@dehvonrennie2096 ok.. Welcome home!

[@janetseidlitz5976]

There is more going on here than housing problems. I hope the Navy gets a handle on it.

[@owenmersk4626]

We need to defund the military budget. Those taxes would be better spent ending poverty here

[@kathleenwatson2071]

This is heartwrenching

[@mariesprowl2348]

As a Military mom of an active duty son my heart goes out to this family. 🙏

[@eileendoherty2836]

So very sorry condolences 💕🤗🙏😢💔

[@nycatlady2314]

There is a reason wealthy sons and daughters don’t enlist. Those who do have the connections or opportunities to enter as officers. This is a very sad story that has been repeated thousands of times. They know why, they need to make the changes.

[@dariagreer3078]

Totally agree.

[@96serpendityyouarelostnotm87]

What’s the reason wealthy people don’t enlist?

[@girlsurfingtheinternet8195]

@@96serpendityyouarelostnotm87 they are not born slaves, they are the slavemaster. would a slavemaster pick cotton in the field with the slaves? U risk ur childrens life, they can D-I-E, get traumatazied, get bullied - and mommy and daddy cant save them on the ship/battlefield. Do u think rich people will let that happen to their own flesh and blood- their children? Do u think ur fav rappers/ballplayers or businesstycoon are shipping their children in to battle? they are the FIRST to run from war!

[@girlsurfingtheinternet8195]

@@96serpendityyouarelostnotm87 poor peoples job is to breed good working folks aka. the new cattle. the rich peoples job is to manage the cattle (companies + politics). the poor are the lamb that they sacreface in war. in every country in the world, the rich get out first, then the middle class and the poor are left to fend for "their" country (aka the rich peoples land, which is long sold to the rich). Are u really wondering about the same ppl that cant stand to take flights with "the poor" will let their kids die for "the country"?

[@nonameissafer.8457]

Yard time is hard time on ships company. Did a year in Portsmouth on the Eisenhower. Not an easy life but proud to have served. I’m sorry for his parents.

[@lastdayz7896]

I was out to sea 9 months strait lived on the ship .Bullying was normal you have fight sometimes.The chaining of command didn't care.

[@nonameissafer.8457]

@@lastdayz7896 yep sailors lives aren’t easy. Tough life to volunteer for.

[@cocoknows]

Thank you for bringing this to light. They cannot continue treating these young people in these conditions.

[@RicardoAlvarez-pf1oh]

😥 im navy vet this breaks my heart

[@svetlanamihilapopovic-gree7885]

My condolences to this young man’s parents! May their son Rest In Peace!

[@rebeccamouse9294]

No parent should ever go through this. They trusted the Navy with their son.

[@joysimpson7503]

It’s so sad !!

[@musicbox-id]

Deep condolences for the sailor parent. On board conditions are stressful. The navy need to asses the sailor mental health before going on board.

[@angiealexis3717]

Prayers to the family. How do they know there isn't/wasn't a serial killer amongst them? There needs to be further investigation. That many young men committing suicide is too many!

[@marcor6769]

One must turn to Q for answers. They know. Their investigations have unearthed so many plots! Or, you could just watch the interview.

[@deewillworship1319]

I totally agree....I think there is waaaayyy more going on here

[@DavidJohnson-hg1mz]

🤦‍♂️ or maybe people that age are growing up in a really messed up time, and things added up to a bad result. A serial killer? Really? Based off this one interview? Please tell me you don’t vote.

[@Nefariously_ignorant]

@@marcor6769 Q? I hesitate to ask lol

[@chasinglighttoo]

@Andrew McFadden I’ll lay odds there was no serial killer. SMH

[@kellikelly2731]

Omg!! I'm a Veteran. What is happening here! This is unimaginable! What has changed that its become so bad? I'm so sorry to both of you!

[@FlipMacz]

This was an excellent interview. I am so sorry this happened. 🌼🌿

[@blawom]

The Navy needs to investigate the conditions on the ship. Demand it. Someone must take responsibility for these conditions.

[@jamesnguyen7069]

Goodluck

[@benjaminsandoval5507]

First of all I would like to Commend the Parents of this crew member for talking about what had gone wrong that would cause this young man to take his own life, maybe their openness to discuss such matters can save the lives of other Navy personal.

[@jayskateandsuchstuff8446]

My deepest condolences to these sailors and their families. I’m retired navy…. and recently retired, so I know the current climate. It got real bad after 9/11 and has continued to worsen. It’s a tough tough job these days. The operational tempo is off the charts and has been for a long time and carriers are probably the worst. It’s a never ending thankless grind. It wears people down hard. That’s why I’m retired…. I barely made it through. My nerves are shot. I can only sleep 4 hours at a time. And I think I actually have an undiagnosed mild case of ptsd just from the job… no combat, just the job. I wanted to stay longer but I was burnt to a crisp doing 20 hour days and never decompressing. Ultimately, it’s a leadership issue; not “taking care of your people” as they say. The most junior folks suffer the most. And leadership is so overwhelmed by their jobs that the “taking care of your people” part can be overlooked easily, particularly if no one taught you to “take care of your people”. America’s defense obligations are a huge and keeping the operational tempo nearly unmanageable. I only had two shore tours during my career and I was deployed from those multiple times, basically making my whole career sea duty, with exception of schooling. I’m not sure how to fix this. The optempo is only going to get worse. I had a lot of conversations with my sailors and checked on their well being constantly because I knew they were being worked hard. I use to hide guys that were up all night in a hidden space so they could sleep. I used to steal food from the CPO mess and eventually the wardroom for guys who missed meals. And honestly, I felt my sailors were stronger than me. Luckily. I could not imagine having one of your sailors take their own life. The guilt would end me. You really do grow to care for these young folks a lot. To any sailors or service members of any capacity, remember your oath, part of you obligation is to SURVIVE, you already know it’s tough. Do your job. Part of your job is to SURVIVE. Take care as best you can. Some of your leadership simply doesn’t know how to make it better. Believe that they are struggling as well. And most importantly, SURVIVE!!! It does end. There is a lot of life to be lived post military. I promise you want to be there for that.

[@laurierosejones9531]

Talk to an MD about not sleeping. Take something for it. It will change your life.

[@jayskateandsuchstuff8446]

@@laurierosejones9531 …. Thanks. Maybe someday. I’m fine. I’m actually enjoying the long days at this point. I kinda feel like I have more time than everyone else. Much less stress these days so sleep is not nearly as important.

[@alanb9337]

Reminds me of stories like the USS Cole where sailors were only saved in the darkness by the light of water proof torches bought by other sailors out of their own wallet.

[@malabika5055]

A never ending grief and pain for the parents to live with… my heart felt prayer for the parents to give them the courage to bear it and for that young soul for his eternal peace…

[@linanicolia1363]

They will learn to release him, to let him go and also forgive him for taking his own life. Until they can do this, they are going to suffer the guilt of his loss. Just let go. Break away any karma.

[@1fabricmom]

Abuse & neglect of our service men! Appalling!We already know that there will be no accountability & the truth will be covered up! Prayers for all the families of the lost men.

[@kaydee6555]

so sorry to hear this. i remember a good friend of mine did the same thing about 12 years ago it was heartbreaking and im not sure anyone ever really got answers. RIP to this young man RIP my friend Gene.

[@operationlivefree4536]

I'm sorry for your loss and I sure hope his family git answers. No service member should get to that point. A family member of mine with severe ptsd after being on the ground in Iraq lost his battle last year around this time. April 20th actually. My prayers are with you and all the families that go through this.

[@Deborah4Antiques]

This is awful, 19, barely into his life. More than meets the eye here.

[@debrazificationmiller3119]

My heart goes out to all who suffer with suicidal thoughts and all of the loved ones of those who took their own lives. I do not know the reasons this young man took his life but I do know that mental health care in this country is abysmal now and getting worse every day.

[@linanicolia1363]

There is a lot of pressure on the kids, from many directions. The military does not wear kid gloves. They are tough.

[@Chappadoodled]

It’s all of the Navy. A family member of mine is still in it, and it is so scary how this abuse is rampant but they get away with it.

[@roxweinzel7436]

Precious beautiful boy. I can’t imagine their sadness and anger

[@exextrovert]

This is truly a tragedy, yet simultaneously very difficult to understand. I can only imagine the heartbreak these parents must feel, we must learn what happened and something must be done.