Neptune and Maladaptive Daydreaming

[@wutheringheights01]

Man I started crying when you mentioned saying goodbye to my character. My character is just an enhanced version of me and has been with me for my whole life. I want to to let go but I enjoy daydreaming so much.

[@sleepygirlhyd8765]

ME TOO! i cant deal with this....

[@gigiemma3192]

Omg same😭

[@phemyda94]

I had a small ceremony. I wrote an elegy to each one of my former imaginary lovers, going back to my first at age 12. I wrote down what each had meant to me. Every one represented something important depending on what I was going through at the time. I burned the elegies and said goodbye to them one by one. It was a very difficult purging, but afterwards being in reality and being myself felt so much more satisfying even though nothing had changed. I realized that the reason I felt so unbearably empty in the first place is that I had been giving all my energy and focus to these vampiric fantasies. I wasn't escaping my life because it was empty; my life was empty because I was escaping it.

[@JewelMayberry]

+phemyda94 That was beautiful. Keep joining reality, it gets better!

[@akenyaseymour3407]

Jewel. You are out here literally SAVING LIVES. God bless you. You are a gift.

[@foxglove3899]

Straight up ugly cried, I swear. I have uranus and neptune in the third, and pluto on scorpio asc, cap moon in the second and venus in gem in the 8th. Also, Leo MC. My fantasies tend to revolve around sex, mostly intimacy, power, rebellion and recognition. I actually still plan my day according to how much time I can have to myself to day dream. and I get so immersed, I actually feel like I'm living vicariously through a much better version of myself. I mean, being likeable, attractive and having good leadership qualities are actually traits I DO have, but thanks to having neptune in the third, there's this disconnect where I fail to own up to those qualities. This is fucking insane. I feel like I can totally fix this with consistent effort. Oh god. Thank you, thank you, thank you @Jewel for making this videoooooo. Years of therapy didn't get me this much insight O: you're a genius

[@harshshaunak6743]

I m from India. I m 47 years divorced. I suffered from MDD since childhood. I m lonely and induldge in mdd the things that i cant achieve in real life. This was a very useful video

[@shannonrose4678]

I'm so glad you did this! I always felt like I was the only one...and that I was nuts! 😁

[@sunnc]

3:21 get recognition from this behavior 9:07 there’s a theme to the fantasies (fame, money, success, power, recognition) 11:12 we don’t take a risk when we fantasize. Neptune is known for nonaction. Fear of taking action. Neptune regrets what it doesn’t do. 12:30 live in the now 13:33 practice mindfulness. Great for all Neptune issues 13:46 have a goodbye talk w the characters 14:25 merging yourself into those characters 15:21 check in w your feelings. Act on those feelings & impulses. 15:43 bring the happiness into the real world. 16:06 let ppl experience these parts of you

[@RomiBach]

I love it when you said Neptune is where we regret not taking action! Thank you for making this video!

[@kelly653x9]

The best maladaptive daydreaming video💙 Thank you.This was like a slap in the face lol.,i wach this everyday in the morning ,its help me give strenght not to daydream.

[@wendythomason6375]

OMG! Just heard this and it was almost as if you were talking to me! I am 52 and I’ve always had a little fantasy world that i go to and you are right, I actually give myself time and plan when I go into it! No one else knows and sometimes, I thought I’m crazy! I have the Sun, Mercury and Saturn all in the 12 house and I’ve never really known who I am! Thank you so much for putting this out there as I don’t feel so alone! XX

[@darkcarolineriddle]

My neptune is in 8th house, square mars(5), sun, mercury(4), opposite moon (2 in cancer), sextile pluto in 6 and conjunct Uranus and I have daydreamed all of my life, but it was when I was in a bad moment (16 to 20) that it became maladaptive. It was a problem at those time, and now it has become like a symptom. I know that if I go back to that it's because there is something in my life not going well. But fortunately it's been years since it has been truly a problem. :) Thank you for this awesome video.

[@dnabart]

I have this character defect, and many others. There is no perfect family, friend, lover, I'm perfectly flawed. It's over compensation for trauma or emotional abuse as a child. It's a survival mechanism that is maladaptive if it's all pervasive as an adult. As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, my using was a love affair with substances and very much tied into that addiction process.

[@sophiereiher1857]

OMG so awesome that you perfectly non-judgemental explained within 17 minutes the part of me that thought was a weird freak. So glad about your explanation please keep your videos up!!! Big thanks.

[@tracimac6210]

Timely as bits and pieces of realization have been coming recently that I am doing this. Thank you for addressing it and thank you for the delicacy in your delivery at certain parts. When you said "some part of us recognizes we've invested the majority of our lives in something that isn't going to happen..." yes, you're absolutely correct.. Hearing it though, brought it into reality. That hit extremely hard. Very grateful for you Jewel and all you do. ❤

[@Beccalotte1021]

Your videos are always so spot on and timely. This was just incredibly helpful. I have Mars, Mercury and Pluto in the 12th along with Moon conjunct Neptune and Uranus. There's a lot of feeling like I'm on that island all the time and trying to cope with it by escaping/ inaction. This along with your other videos have brought a lot of unhealthy patterns to light. Thank you so much.

[@booms1027]

This is very true I have a lot of 12th house planets and sun square Neptune so Daydreaming is a huge part of my life. On a side note it's interesting because I've been really attracted to strong 6th house people which explains a lot thank you!

[@sherriedempsey8155]

Thank You Jewel ! This video and your Neptune and dependency video just helped me more than you will ever know ! You are an angel and you have tapped into a very special gift you have to help others not only through your knowledge of Astrology but in the compassionate way you deliver and explain the information.I finially have a starting ground to tackle what I have always thought were my unique issues. I have a T-squaure with Neptune in 2nd opposite Saturn in 8th squaring Mercury in 6th. The issues I deal with have been controlling and crippling my life for years. I have been following you for over a year and just now viewed these videos because I never thought they would apply to me. I will be contacting you because I would love a personal reading from you.Thank you again for doing what you do !❤️

[@sherriedempsey8155]

I meant Mercury in 5th

[@phillipmcdonald5751]

Thank you Jewell for your maladaptive daydreaming video it was something I needed to hear as a serial fantasy daydreamer. Cheers. Phillip

[@bombdottcom111]

Fantastic explanatory video Jewel. I appreciate your channel!

[@a.nonymous2089]

I was like this as a child because things were very bad at home. And I have all these Neptune trines in my chart. I was someone or something else in my daydreams--and not me-- because I wasn't good enough for my parents or other children in real life. My mother was mentally ill and the type who ALWAYS WOULD HAVE FELT OKAY if only, if only, other people acted different. So my fantasies were always about a character who performed perfectly and earned love from a very difficult person. *Don't actually try this at home. As a child I knew I wasn't normal and I tried to have that goodbye talk when I was like, eight, but I ended up crying and couldn't do it because it was literally all I had. Things were so, SO bad at home. I was the kid they pinned the Kick Me sign on at school, so I'd go to school and get hazed all day and then come home to a hateful, screaming banshee of a mother bitching me out and hitting me at night. Then my father died in a plane crash when I was 12 and she went really crazy after that, so … I just KNEW as a child that something was really wrong with ME. Now I look back and see that what I was growing up in was hideously, hideously unhealthy for any child, so of COURSE I retreated into my imagination. It was all I had. I wasn't fully able to stop until circumstances in my world finally weren't so absolutely miserable. (Now I need the imagination to finish this novel I'm working on and I can't do it anymore!)

[@AstralPrincess]

YES!! I have Venus conjunct Neptune in Sagittarius. Neptune at the highest degree in my chart ( 29 ).

[@caribbeanspice19]

I have sun square neptune (tighest square to my sun), mercury trine neptune, moon trine neptune, and pisces venus. Pisces and neptune are really strong in my chart. Everything you said resonated with me, thank you for this video

[@taramorrison9509]

Wow! Excellent video! Neptune is my chart ruler, I also have sun, Mercury (Pisces)and Venus (Aquarius) in the 12th, as well as Neptune square Mercury, a perfect cocktail for these traits, lol. But I actually find that the transit- Saturn square Neptune and Neptune conjunct my ascendant this year have really been helpful in releasing this tendency. I totally agree that being in the present is massively helpful, and meditation is a big part of my life. What I have found most helpful though, is putting all of that energy previously leaked into fantasizing, toward visualizing/manifesting. While also remaining squarely in the present, accepting what already is and not focusing on results. It's hard to let go of such a tendency without having something healthy to channel all of that energy into.

[@karabeard2336]

I agree. Even though our daydreaming can be excessive at times, its perfect for visualizing. Most people report trying to feel the feeling as we visualize (which many say is the most important part)is hard. But its not for us. We naturally step into the picture and feel it as though it were real, whenever we want. In that was it can be very useful.

[@aubreytsaheylu]

Wow! This was a very beautiful video Jewel. I needed to see this without realizing I needed to. Thank you!! Warm Blessings to you.

[@PeachyKins]

yeah, fear of rejection and abandonment is a major hurdle. This video helped, except that I feel like I'm actually the actor in my life all together (neptune 2° from my leo ascendant, along with ketu, sun and moon all coming in with Neptune from 5th house (Leo) At this point in life, I'm finally confident in my beliefs, morals, ethics. I know I'm a good person. but when I get crossed I turn from a sweet cuddly kitten to a roaring mean lion,( yeah, I have decedent issues, too lol) I have no idea how to act, I'm so awkward, I get alot of anxiety and tired. It's really exhausting trying to figure out how to connect with people when you feel so disconnected from yourself. I don't fit it and am really shy, but no one perceives me as such. I get hassled instead, so I just avoid people now. I don't want to get close, Rough chart, I've noticed that I mostly attract bad relationships or else will shy away from potentially good ones bc of fear I guess. I definitely do not have a Facebook. I have had too many stalkers to put myself out there like that. I would not describe it as being fake, we all know what that is, no, it's different than that. I dont pretend to be different than I am, (impossible when already trying to act like "myself" to begin with.) I pretend to be me, whoever that person is. I'm really passionate and creative, talented hair stylist, even opened my own salon before I turned 30. But, sometimes I don't even know how or what to feel. (my childhood definitely is non existent, and I was expected to be a puppet, super strict and religious (both parents pluto on my ascendant, sun and moon) my favorite memories are mostly my favorite movies. my sister feels similarly. She became an actress. We moved around a lot bc my father was in the Marines. Only one long term relationship, my son's father. I don't speak to any family, they are all members of the cult I was raised in. luckily my ketu is in Sagittarius, along with sun and moon (mother and father) LOL.

[@peterklein4349]

You're right: mindfulness, learning to be satisfied with yourself as you are, is the important thing that helps. And learning of personal boundaries/analyzing synastry charts. I lately met a beautiful but young woman with whom I had rather special conversations, in a shop! Found out that many of her planets were in my 8th house. I really had to reset myself ( vesta cj sun and mercury in 12, neptune opp venus, venus/saturn/pluto in trine)

[@NeptuneConjunctAscendant]

Wow. I have Neptune at 3 degrees conjunct my ascendant in aquarius at 9 degrees. My Neptune is in opposition to my mercury, inconjunct my venus, and squared my jupiter. What you have described is the life ive lived for as long as i can remember.

[@magritte128]

Yeah, that was me in high school and through much of my twenties. I have Mercury in 12th, Neptune in 7th.

[@fetterkater7484]

I daydream a lot but I channel it into my job. I am a script writer and film maker :)

[@Darkever84]

Jewel, you just put a billion ducks in a row for me. Neptune is squaring my Sun, Mercury, and Saturn. But I do have Neptune trining my MC, and after studying my Neptune (which is at 29 degrees,) and reading up about my various aspects, I've also been looking at my solar return chart which helps me SO MUCH with being in the moment. The crazy thing though, is this year I have my Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter all in my MC!!! And it's making an opposition with Moon conjunct Uranus so it's definitely been a fucking whirlwind. I've basically reinvented myself with astrology, spirituality, meditation, and yoga. Also, just like someone else commented, putting my energy towards visualizing/manifesting helps. and so does giving acknowledgement and validity to my feelings whenever i am "in the moment."

[@karabeard2336]

You're video captured the essence of 12th house daydreaming better than i could've explained myself. And i Have sun mercury pluto and jupiter (my chart ruler) all in the 12th. As a child people would notice in class that I would be smiling or sometimes nodding and no one would be there. I didn't even realize i was doing it but i was interacting with my daydream. The characters in my daydreams were always people i knew in real life, but i was much more outgoing and had a closer relationship with them in the daydream. Also I would go to bed early and day dream, and always sat in the back of the school bus. I enjoyed staring out the window and daydreaming my way to school. Sometimes I day dream so much i might miss my stop on the bus, even though I'm staring out of the window the whole time! I like what you said about getting to reason about why we fantasize, and even having good bye ceremony. I might try that. Overall amazing video. Your knowledge of the 12th house is impressive.

[@goldengoatee2237]

I am Aqua Sun Merc Venus in 12th House..Pisces rising..Neptune (chart ruler) is on top of chart conducting my MC on the 9th House. I have been daydreaming since I was a child. I have lived in 2 worlds all of my life. It is my escape.

[@euphylee6221]

This reminds me of the movie "A Beautiful Mind" specially at the end, though the conditions are a bit different.

[@tindomul8977]

Wow, she really knows the human psyche. A truly intelligent lady. I have Saturn conjunct Neptune, Uranus conjunct Neptune, Venus sauare Neptune and Jupiter opposite Neptune (not to mention the 'harmonious' aspects.) Overcoming maladaptive daydreaming is a challenge. I tend to think that it is not fully possible, but one can find balance between real life and fantasies.

[@Melissa-nv7se]

We can't do nothing with the outer aspects that's what I read from an astrologer. We have to center more in the personal and social aspects.

[@calgoulden8223]

neptune aint real bruh goofy ahh

[@irem5922]

For me its really helpful. Thank you ao much i'm missing my life the reason i want to stop that. I deserve the really life. I'm a student the reason I can't call you for looking my chart for this MAladaptive daydreaming. But God known i really want to this. I hoping i can stop this sickish thing btw thank you sooooooo much love you.

[@pakman6tih]

Good movie on this subject was Lars and the Real Girl.

[@JewelMayberry]

+Paul Kelley I remember that one.

[@YesEthan]

I saw that movie the other night. At the part where he finds his "fiance" in a coma in that pink room, hanging on the wall in a frame "Pisces". That was actually a really good movie. I cried. I guess that's typical for a Mars in Pisces 7th w/ Moon in Cancer 12th person.

[@pakman6tih]

yeah that sounds pretty normal for those placements. i liked how the movie went, getting the people in the town behind him, which allowed him to grow out of his fantasy in his own way.

[@YesEthan]

Yeah, it affected them too in a positive ways. It's enabling that I can get behind if it ends like that one.

[@ABitewithE]

Wow Jewel just wow. Amazing.

[@darklight4605]

Thanks your videos have helped me so much

[@pakman6tih]

So, I have Jupiter in Gemini squared to Uranus and Pluto in Virgo and inconjunct Neptune in the tenth. As a young man, when I couldn't find sleep I would talk to "God" for hours, pretend I had a personal connection, someone to work out my philosophy with and then get the okay from. I probably asked for help with the meaning of my life or with some girl or another I was unsure about meeting in person, and I wanted to make sure that I was "in" with "the man in charge." I talk to myself a lot still and to real people, too. A favorite fantasy is that I'm being interviewed by a erudite talk show host about this or that deep subject. Sometimes I teach a class in my head, or my car, or my bed, or wherever I'm at that is not interesting enough to keep me engaged. A lot of it is to release excess mental energy and the rest of it is because I still have feelings/beliefs of comparable unworthiness, so the interactions in my head are rehearsals or rehashes for the ones I froze at or swallowed down automatically but still wanted to have. I recognize the problems there and am working on not beating myself up about it or get impatient when I catch myself getting carried away (or when someone else does).

[@Cuteanimals-up6pj]

Neptune aspects my sun Mercury venus ascendent Pluto midheaven Uranus Chiron … , I spend most of my time in another world &a few times a day I’ll resurface &realize but then go right back to it

[@cosmosj131]

I know this video was posted in 2016. I thought you might have new information on the subject. It is 2018 and I hope you can see this comment!

[@sarahkoob1156]

i have natal mercury in the 12th and i now have progressed ascendant in Pisces progressed sun in Pisces moon and mercury and progressed sun in the 12 house so yeah it sucks lol and i need help with this its scary my real life was horrible and full of abuse and i guess i used my Neptune to escape ty so much i finally understand my behavior alot of celebrities have Neptune aspects i herd

[@AromieWorship]

12th house Sun in 9th harmonic makes a grand trine with Neptune and Chiron...natal Neptune conjunct North Node opp Venus 💙

[@dvd573]

Omg thank u so much for this!

[@cosmosj131]

Hi Jewel, I am a MDD. I have Mercury, Sun, and Uranus squaring Neptune. Uranus. Can you discuss a little more about meditation on this aspect? I have done TM, Mantra, and Mindfulness. The problem for me is when my wandering thoughts emerge I am to go back to the breath. But, guess what my wandering thoughts are? The Daydream. Going back to the breath gets pushed out of the way!!! Do you have any tips to help? If you think Mindfulness technique is the best, any suggestions to help me with it. Also, are there any groups, tapes, sites that you can suggest. I know there are thousands out there but maybe something or someone you found to be a good source. I do see where you have used Adyashanti quotes. Thank you so much for this video and sharing your compassion to help and teach others.

[@thebunnysnake]

I'll tell you what can affect Maladaptive daydreaming in the chart! I have a Pisces ascendant and I had a transit between My ascendant and Neptune in the 12th house! It really made it really bad! Its also weird because I have Neptune trine Moon, ( meaning I may get attached to characters) I have a lot of planets attached to Neptune so WATCH OUT!

[@dearspica3048]

This speaks to me a lot ... I didn't know there was a psychological name for it. Thank you (: I have Sun/Mars/Mercury in the 12th House and Neptune Squares Mercury. At one point, you talk about understanding the roots of this coping mechanism ... Do you think Neptune's house placement can also give us indications of why or where this coping mechanism take place ? I have Neptune conjunct my IC, it feels like I can only access my inner world through Neptune, and through daydreaming ...

[@JewelMayberry]

+Dear Spica yes, the house and aspects tell the story of why and how the early disconnection occurred.

[@MichwasWares]

12th house Neptune (Scorpio) Uranus (Virgo) sextile Neptune Neptune sextile Pluto (Virgo) Sun (Cancer) trine Neptune Oh - to quote Edie Brickell "Choke me in the shallow water, before I get to deep"

[@JewelMayberry]

+Michelle Hill I get it. I really do. I struggled with it for years. But there is peace. I found it.

[@thenm959]

Thank you very much for the video

[@weshouldtotallyjuststabcea1382]

Is there any way to get out of daydreaming???????? It just doesnt stop i use my phone and sports or talking to others to stop myself from daydreaming..but when theres nothing or i have to sleep i cant theres like voices just saying thoughts..its like my brain having a habit to do this i have neptune in capricorn in my 7th house idk if that has to do with anything i dont have 12th house planets or pisces planets its very comfortable to do this but i cant stop it sometimes..

[@13Fools]

I wonder how many science fiction authors have this issue. Or just authors, in general 😮

[@jessiefox3739]

But my Neptune has no hard aspects. In fact it's part of a double trine or kite. Creating characters is my true motivation to pursue my art career. Is that what you mean? On Deviantart characters made from maladaptive daydreaming are called a Mary Sue or a Gary Stu.

[@themsjada1]

I have sun, venus, and Mars in the 9th house (cancer) all quincunx Neptune (Aquarius) in the 4th house. Do u think I can escape it? Since Mars is debilitated and Neptune is like on my soul. Or is there just moments where I can act on these impulses and have other times where I dream about it.

[@jaymesEo6]

I have Venus inconjunct Neptune exact and this is me...

[@prettypritee4491]

I am also suffering from this disorder and I have triggered by real life events.. And I weast my all the time in daydreaming .. Maladaptive daydreaming disorder ruined my life.. What should I do?

[@soulspark3970]

I have neptune in the third house... I think that affects a lot of daily life things ? Also 2 Kites with neptune in it. Also Sun in the 12th. I daydream constantly...

[@alexandra9985]

what aspects in natal chart contribute to that?

[@erima552]

??? Do you have formal Physiologically background training??

[@calgoulden8223]

My only neptune aspect is trine saturn so I dont relate at all quite the opposite really I dont even like anime cause its not real enough!! Ive noticed soft saturn neptune aspects can make someone dislike anime. But its interesting to learn about how neptune can affect people to this extent

[@gnedsu]

Neptune conjunct ascendant in Sagittarius

[@igirly123]

i have mercury opposite neptune :(

[@darkcharlie7087]

Can you do "sun in Sagittarius"?

[@jesuis870]

what to do if neptune in the 1st is actually conjunct north node?

[@jesuis870]

I used to daydream excessively when I was a child... but now when I remember my dreams, many of them came true. nowadays I think I'm experiencing the bad side of it, especially thanks to the lockdown! when I saw you had a video on this topic I said doses of Virgo perspective on this is exactly what I need now :D

[@SunandMoonCalendar]

Thank you

[@william6084]

I think I need therapy, I can't tell truth from reality anymore, I think my daydreams are malfunctioning and I just can't adapt. I can't afford to pay you, but I'm good with my hands - I can fix stuff and if it's got leaves I can grow it...do you like wood fired pizza?

[@Ayaa29048]

Sun and mercury square neptune and moon conjunct Neptune. Ha!

[@Ruhma.]

moon + mars in pisces... sun & merc conj neptune lol

[@gunmetalcrow]

I wonder if these made up characters are the same as "spirit guides"?

[@JewelMayberry]

+gunmetalcrow No, that’s more daydreaming.

[@MichwasWares]

Awww hell. 🙄🔫