Nerdy Statistics You've Never Thought Of Before. Don McMillan

[@OValger]

- I took a Statistics class and now I know that correlation does not mean causation. - So, the class helped, then? - Maybe.

[@siblinghoodsys]

Underrated joke

[@TomFromMars]

@@siblinghoodsys Way underrated.

[@jensraab2902]

The funny thing is, you answering "maybe" means it did help, whereas if you had said "yes" that would've meant that it maybe helped.

[@VivekYadav-ds8oz]

​@@jensraab2902No "maybe" does mean it _maybe_ helped. It might be that he took statistics classes because he really liked some (hypothetical) show about crimes and statistics, but it turns out the class was boring af and he learnt it all from the show.

[@so_dumbshu]

😂

[@japanesefunnyshorts8584]

I love this guy. Please post his entire special!

[@fourq2049]

Buy it!

[@viscache1]

This was hilarious until I realized that my wife has often reminded me that she married me because “You made me laugh”……

[@josephbailey4463]

Oops!

[@stevecavanagh8033]

My wife married me for the same reason, but hasn’t laughed at my jokes since.

[@beadingbusily]

​@@stevecavanagh8033 show her this one.

[@jo1stormlord]

The harder she is laughing, the more her eyes are closed.

[@backmanmorgan08]

😂

[@TonyHammitt]

Parking a mile away from home and walking the rest of the way would help with the underheight problem as well.

[@jjryan1352]

But increases your odds of being hit by a car while walking.

[@chesscomsupport8689]

So true! I always tell my friends to exercise more if they want to grow taller.

[@ccmusic2249]

I almost went into the field of statistics, and he's absolutely correct. You can make statistics say just about anything you want.

[@VestigialHead]

93% of all statistics are made up.

[@thienkimnguyen1260]

Yeah, i took a Statistics class back in uni. In the introduction of the text book, the author quoted: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

[@ccmusic2249]

@@thienkimnguyen1260 HAHA! Love it.

[@ChristMetalMayhem]

72% of this comment is false.

[@danielgow6688]

Torture the data long enough and it will confess to anything - Missler.

[@xbrushedinredx]

Brilliant, relevant. unique . We need more people like him

[@SparkyChannel]

Thanks for cheering up our day! Stats are manipulated all the time. You made stats funny for us!

[@ryandonahue285]

This guy is funny and original 🤣

[@thelonesomefisherman7425]

"Enjoy being married because it's not pretty when it ends." As a widower I can say he's right.

[@MarkMcDaniel]

Sorry for your loss, man. 😔

[@thelonesomefisherman7425]

@@MarkMcDaniel Thank you for your kindness.

[@pke571]

Bless you!

[@thelonesomefisherman7425]

@@pke571 Thank you.

[@brianjakobsen2475]

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all

[@markjohansen6048]

RE car accidents: I heard a similar one: 90% of auto accidents (or whatever number) occur within 5 miles of home and at speeds under 50 mph. Therefore, logical conclusion, never drive less than 50 mph when within 5 miles of home.

[@JustOneAsbesto]

Parking 1 mile from your home and walking the rest of the way has also been shown to decrease the risk of heart-attack and stroke.

[@VestigialHead]

93% of all heart attacks happen 1 mile from a McDonalds.

[@jjryan1352]

But the odds of getting hit by a car are exponentially higher.

[@JustOneAsbesto]

@@jjryan1352 But cardiovascular disease is our #1 killer.

[@jjryan1352]

@@JustOneAsbesto whoooosh

[@JustOneAsbesto]

@@jjryan1352 Congratulations on your PhD. You're clearly a genius. Nobel prize is in the mail.

[@jvcolddayinhell2761]

I'm so happy to see new content from Don! Loved his videos about PowerPoint!

[@AK-jt7kh]

THIS is my kind of comedy!!! 😂 More of this guy!

[@danyellerobinson5940]

The first thing they tell you in Business Statistics 101 is that facts can be manipulated. It's why I like to rely on raw data when possible. LOVE the voter lottery idea.

[@f.k.b.16]

I did not expect this to be that funny! Dad joke arsenal activated!

[@YellaSpiceFamily]

"Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics" 😂 Great set!

[@spideyawesome6498]

This guy looks like a fusion of Woody Harrelson and Willem Dafoe

[@daljotsingh4918]

Love too see that Don made it to DryBar. He truly deserves it 🧡

[@nufmedia9035]

This was great! I could watch an hour of this any day!

[@saywhat83]

you sir, have won Comedy ... and statistics (IMO)

[@Tjalve70]

Actually, parking 1 mile from your home, and walking the rest of the way is a very good idea. It reduces the chance that you'll end up being underheight.

[@MrBrock314]

While also making you less likely to sweat long-term.

[@lw3269]

2:26. Not to be that person, but 146 million lottery tickets does not reflect 146 million people. Lots of people bought multiple tickets.

[@MrBrock314]

But it could.

[@dj93888]

He didn't actually say 146 million tickets were sold, just that 146 million people bought tickets, which was 10 million more than went to vote. No mention of the amount of tickets right?

[@lw3269]

@@dj93888 One vote =one person, with very rare exceptions. But when tickets are purchased, how it it ever possible to know how many people bought them? We can know how many tickets are purchased, for sure. Please explain how you can tell how many actual persons bought tickets? You are not limited to one ticket, and you don't have to show ID. So, I would be fascinated to know your explanation, because your math ain't mathing.

[@miriambucholtz9315]

That bit about height and weight has some truth to it, though. When I was younger, I was 3" taller than I am now. If I still had that height, I'd be far less overweight than I am now. Wouldn't really help the deteriorated vertebrae and discs, but, oh, well...

[@Garfield-l5m]

Don's statistical analysis is brilliant. 😆

[@BurnWithinQT]

I could watch a couple more hours... 👍

[@iamnormal8648]

I never thought statistics could be this funny.

[@dovie2blue]

This nerd. He's hilarious

[@aai343]

95% of car accidents happen within 1 mile of your home is so true holy crap. My only car accident so far was when I was sideswiped 1 mile from my home.🤔🙄🤣

[@alireid5874]

My car was parked at my apartment. Got sideswiped and totaled 😂

[@gardenjoy5223]

My husband did better. He got it back to 10 yards. He likes to park up close. Very close.

[@jillyapple1]

About the women dating ugly men who have a sense of humor, it can go the other way, too. In college, mom had a bad week and looked like hell. Hair unwashed, no make-up, grunge outfit, etc. Dragged herself to the dining hall. A guy sat down across from her and they got to talking. She made him laugh so many times he asked her on a date. Of course, by that evening, she'd gotten over whatever had worn her down. Dolled herself up, etc. The guy answers the door and says something like "Wow! You're beautiful, too?" Lol. (No, he's not my dad. Still a good story anyway).

[@Bubba1960.]

Don: "I'm like, honey am I good looking?" Wife: "yer funny" Don: " Shut up!"

[@joshuablack8221]

I love this. I always tell people that stats can be manipulated, and you can definitely lie through numbers 😂

[@MrBrock314]

I teach Grade 9-12 Math and at least two of my classes have sections on "how to lie with graphs". Even better, you can manipulate people, then graph it and make the lie even worse. My math 9's do this every year.

[@henrybierman8431]

Using stats in an argument is just as bad as making stuff up

[@redthorne1129]

One of my favorites is still, that in the entire world, the average person has about one testicle.

[@jsivco3sivco785]

... and on average, one ovary! Eh? 😁

[@girlonaswing9439]

Very unique and smart comedy.

[@1101agaoj]

Great set, Funny statistics, the good kind of funny.

[@lucassanor9991]

Dude. This guy is awesome!!!

[@KaguroDraven]

I know it was a joke, but the Divorce one is flawed in another way. That 44% takes into account the people who get married, 2, 3,4+ times and repeatedly divorce. Which naturally brings up the number of divorces.

[@jsivco3sivco785]

Well, it was the number of marriages, not the number of people who get married.

[@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd]

This was stand-up comedy, but he was spitting straight up facts about being overweight for someone’s height. Very relatable.

[@selinesbeau]

And aging makes it worse, becuase we eventually start shrinking!

[@xpatsteve]

Proof how statistics don't lie but liars use statistics. Hilarious!

[@AskMeABee]

There are no words in the English language that could possibly convey how much I love, love, L.O.V.E.D. this!!😍🥰❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎

[@benjaminstowe9017]

sarc- &enthusi- = my second & third favorite asms respectively 😅🤣

[@dragoncurveenthusiast]

@@benjaminstowe9017 Let me guess! cytoplasm! 😉

[@benjaminstowe9017]

@@dragoncurveenthusiast 🤣

[@MrBrock314]

@@dragoncurveenthusiast No, no, nucleoplasm is the best asm.

[@ckc75]

Someone once told me that statistics is like a bikini... it only shows what you want to show 😆

[@MrBrock314]

Yes and no.

[@marlobreding7402]

With Ten children it appears that we have two Chinese children. Who knew?

[@DonRRicks]

This guy is classic.

[@MrTPF1]

Oh man -- that was HILARIOUS!!

[@mgkcree2814]

Dr. Berkey sent me, I'm glad she did!!

[@tiitulitii]

The lottery idea is great! ... Why not!

[@jarnMod]

3:00 That is a truely good incentive for voting tho

[@videogalore]

This is excellent!

[@nancyanderson6404]

I want to hear more from you. You are hilarious every single thing.

[@brianjones9898]

Really great material and delivery. I’d come out to see him live when he comes thru Austin.

[@fredleemh]

Thanks DBC

[@Dr_SteveK]

What's the name of the song at the end of the video, it's quite catchy and bouncy

[@willmallory9085]

Very good

[@crissy7able]

Love this.

[@TheBottlenose33]

Yep, more of this guy plz

[@chrissydecker6793]

Being one who lives comedy and statistics this is great

[@superpeaceloveunity]

where’s the full special ?! i need to see it

[@flamingpieherman9822]

Height Watchers I've got to remember that!

[@BruceWayne-cb2ys]

Brilliant

[@willrichards4093]

Totally Sound Logic if You Ask Me.... Also 100% Hilarious

[@waweyn]

I love him! 😂

[@spaghettieddie]

If you like stats another really great comedian is Robert Mac. The first joke is actually pretty darn close to a joke Robert tells in his Drybar special from a while back.

[@mariosebastiani3214]

My wife always stated she chose me for my looks. She also makes a point that I don't really need to crack jokes when we're together. In fact, she prefers that I don't talk at all. Men, look for the woman who thinks you're ugly but loves your personality!

[@clittle1807]

Too funny

[@layna-heyhey]

What a great pick. lol

[@DaHaiZhu]

I think the reason so few people laughed at the thought of moving to prevent car accidents was because they were seriously considering it

[@lovelovelovehappyhappyhappy]

Thank you I love you

[@gardenjoy5223]

Keep enjoying those :)

[@shenight8293]

Does this mean that I am Chinese, because I'm the 5'th child of the family 😂😂

[@joshuablack8221]

This guy is good 😂

[@maveryckstevensonesq9397]

Very funny!

[@alberteinstein7996]

This is great lmao

[@Ecosse57]

yup, this guy is good.

[@jellybeanparis584]

Height Watchers is so funny!

[@MarangTamburiki]

The statistic stating: 33% of women don't mind dating ugly men so long as they are funny, TO ME does not show that ALL women aren't shallow, because it only means 67% of women will not prefer ugly but funny men. As an ugly man, I do not like my chances. 😂

[@traveller23e]

How's your humor? If you're fun at parties, that still leaves one woman out of every three as a potential candidate.

[@HeavenSReal427]

Definitely Sir” ugly but funny “ 😆

[@NerdTheBox]

The thing about giving a random voter a billion dollars is that there's gonna be a lot of people who'll just punt their vote on some random person who won't win ...which will increase voter percentages for third-party candidates maybe this really is genius

[@mikehess4494]

Enjoyable

[@Cyberguy42]

0:24 "Therefore statistically, it cannot be argued, 1 out of ever 5 babies born on Earth are Chinese" I'm all for jokes misusing statistics, but this first one was too logically flawed (the rest were fine). Stating that 1/5 people on Earth are Chinese does not mean that 1/5 babies born on Earth are Chinese unless the Chinese birthrate is equal to the average of the rest of the world. (Quick google check) Yep, China's birthrate is barely half of the world average, so it can definitely be argued. Also, I think the punchline would have been funnier if phrased as an actual statical statement like "there's a 20% chance your 5th will be Chinese," rather than "your 5th will be Chinese"

[@MrBrock314]

If you were going to say 20% chance, it'd be a straight "There's a 20% chance your child will be Chinese." No need to specify the 5th child as the 20% is overall.

[@WhatIsItToBurn]

​@@MrBrock314 Yeah, I was wishing he would have put it like that instead. The first one was just statistically wrong, but he isn't a statistics guy, he's a comic.... most people laughed so they don't know statistics either lmao.

[@Arpad30ne]

Height Watchers, feels like a stretch

[@AustynSN]

On the flip side, I fell for and asked a girl out not because she was "hot" (certainly not ugly, but nowhere near a supermodel either), but because I thought she thought I was funny. (Turned out she didn't and had absolutely no attraction to me whatsoever.)

[@ericswain4177]

Statistics can be very misleading. You can even make them up to create a false viewpoint or make yourself look good.

[@Harbalz]

I'm ugly and funny and loved 😍

[@konoha9729]

Nice

[@DJC819]

More from Cassandra please

[@Josh-99]

I hate to say it, but my wife tells me all the time how much she loves that I cook for her and make her laugh...

[@AugustSchunk]

Fact: 95% of car accidents occur within one mile of your home. Another Fact: Homeless people rarely get into car accidents.

[@MichaelSHartman]

People think they will get a better return on a lottery ticket than an election.

[@jjryan1352]

Biden offered $3k bribes for votes but only paid out less than half.

[@ClemsonTiger75]

My wife does NOT think I'm funny, so does that mean that she thinks I'm handsome?

[@yvelf]

100% of divorces start with marriage.

[@MrBrock314]

Or 100% of married people die.

[@DaHaiZhu]

If people did park a mile from their home and walk the rest of the way, it would improve that weight vs. height statistic...

[@craigschaffert]

I heard the Average human statistically has one testicle and one ovary.

[@MrBrock314]

Also less than 2 legs.

[@steings]

The driving stat is wrong. It's closer to 52% within 5 miles of home. My question is what % of driving is within 5 miles of home?

[@TL-pk2gh]

🤣🤣🤣

[@stevesmolik24]

I’m going to height watchers 😂😂

[@stevemamooshka3425]

Some version of that "VOTER LOTTERY" joke could actually work! Since low voter turnout has been a problem for a while, there must be some way for all of the state lotteries to get together to make this work. (Getting rich is WAAAAAY more important than the next president. Right?)

[@jjryan1352]

Yes Idiocracy is here. The winner could become Treasury Secretary or play for double or nothing.

[@philosopher1a]

Funny

[@ScarriorIII]

He's been doing this since the 90s, I'd say he's had practice.

[@KassiusFineArt]

Height Watchers. Lol

[@DonaldTubbs]

The average human is a right-handed Asian woman.

[@WowbaggerTheInfinitelyProlonge]

90% of baseball is half mental - Yogi Berra