Nervous Newbie Detective x Smug Criminal Listener | Roleplay ASMR (Gender Neutral)

[@little.miss.teacup]

KSNDKSNKAJA THATS MY BOY THATS MY BOY!!!! THAT IS MY SON I WROTE AT 12AM!!! OH MY GOD!!

[@KaiSaysThings]

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SCRIPT AND SUCH GOOD ART ILYSM YOU'RE SO TALENTED

[@little.miss.teacup]

I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY I WAS COMPLETELY SOBER WRITING THIS

[@KaiSaysThings]

@@little.miss.teacup I SHOULD HOPE THE FUCK SO, YOUNG LADY

[@little.miss.teacup]

@@KaiSaysThings THOSE FUCKIN VITAMIN GUMMIES MAN,,,

[@musicloverslurper]

OwO yes

[@sigmapolarisoctantis]

"Your Honour, the defendant has a solid alibi! Which is-" "ha ha pp"

[@aaronmeadowmore5339]

Ikr! That's hilarious and I love this dude!

[@lilnova8056]

No one: Him: You have 5 accounts of arson My brain: don't do it. don't do it. don't do- Me: AND THEY WERE TOTALLY LIT

[@stormshadow2942]

Y E S, they were absolute FIRE

[@OhsweetOhno]

As lit as your Deku pfp, that look Deku has is staring into my soul!

[@lilnova8056]

@@OhsweetOhno thank you, he lives in my mind rent free 24/7😌

[@siri7228]

I LOVE THIS COMMENT SO MUCH

[@gh0st541]

This is my language-

[@lennykenny7851]

In my defense, "do it, no balls" is a *verrrry* powerful thing.

[@Vixenschuuring]

True, can't go against it

[@channelbox7437]

HAHA I JUST THOUGHT WHAT IF THE SMUG CRIMINAL LISTENER WHISPERED IN THE SPEAKER “hey little piss baby” IM DONE WITH MYSELDNABHAHS

[@channelbox7437]

@Riley Kutach LMFOAOAOAJEJAJJDWJ 💀💀💀

[@molly4330]

I love your pfp

[@michaelm2484]

"...Aaand preferred pronouns." Me: *_On the verge of tears, since nobody's ever asked_* _Marry me_

[@KaiSaysThings]

HDKWHDKW HONEY 🥺🥺🥺

[@little.miss.teacup]

ay yo Your pronouns, like everyone else, are valid!!

[@AlextheParent]

Me too

[@gergyta9211]

Okay, if anyone would like, how do you know if you’re not your assigned gender? Like, I dunno, somedays I’m like *HAHA YES I AM GIRL* and somedays I’m like *UMM IDC BUT I EXIST* and I’m not sure if I’m like, gender fluid she/they sorta thing, or this is like a normal thing that people feel and I haven’t asked anyone I know because I don’t want to seem offensive

[@vleath1119]

@@gergyta9211 you could be genderfluid as that feeling is how I feel, and I identify as genderfluid/nonbinary. I would suggest doing research on definitions to see which one best fits how you feel. I tend towards genderfluid/nonbinary as most times i'm like "i dont wanna have a gender, fine, ill be a girl... oooh! im a boy now! wait, never mind no gender for me, im just another human bean." if this feels and sounds familiar maybe you are genderfluid too!!

[@isabellaesperat8202]

"Five accounts of arson and more? What were they thinking?!" Me: Fire is ✨pretty✨

[@NotExtroverted1h3110]

It was always burning since the world's been turning

[@Apollo_80]

WE DIDNT START THE FIRE IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLDS BEEN TURNIN-

[@thegrimreaperwhoiswaitingf4370]

Indeed

[@aster4302]

Fire Warm Fire Good For Cooking Fire Pretty And most importantly fire.. *MATERIAL FOR PROJECTILE WEAPONERY*

[@LinnyTheP00h]

*IKR*

[@theceoofsimping6623]

"smug criminal" Me that stole a piece of candy once from the store: i know, i know. Im a baddie 😌✋✨✨

[@KaiSaysThings]

Untouchable 🖐🏽😔✨ unbreakable 🖐🏽😔✨

[@theceoofsimping6623]

@@KaiSaysThings y e s ✨✨✨

[@OhsweetOhno]

I attempted to steal from my schools art room. Got caught but then got away with stealing *many snacks* from my crush

[@kdashh]

sayaka c'mon, don't you got a performance to be at 😭😭😭

[@theceoofsimping6623]

@@kdashh baby im not even here, im a hallucination ✨

[@Ace-de1hc]

The ending “I’m in love with a criminal”? Killed me on the spot.

[@amywolf]

Mama I'm in love with a criminal 💀

[@ThatOneQueerAuthor]

MAMA IM IN LOVE WITH A CRIMINAL 😌💅

[@gergyta9211]

“Can you confirm that this person is you?” I can neither confirm nor deny this accusation

[@dayanandsalunke3120]

Accusation lmao-

[@HeroOfHeros]

I claim not guilty but I did do it

[@ArJHill]

Awwww, "Fluffy wuffy tummy the Teddy bear" is adorable.

[@stoopidgurl1700]

That’s what I was thinking

[@pigpen3428]

it wasssss

[@salemh4790]

The listener gives off gen Z vibes and I love it :) Edit: dear god tysm for the likes!

[@adalineuwu1057]

We just are the entirety of gen z ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@salemh4790]

It’s true

[@cockimeancoke7533]

(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞🇾 🇦 🇸

[@dybbukrakshasa7254]

XD

[@Iffah_ak]

Cuz we are duh!

[@lol-xz7ue]

yo, he got a teddy bear, I would date. he’s sweet. that lil “mama I’m in love with a criminal”, wow, dude, we charming as hecc.

[@Anthophobia]

“Smug” I wouldn’t say smug.... more like... stupid?

[@little.miss.teacup]

Idk I’m smug and stupid so I can’t tell the difference ✌️😎

[@Chai-sq1ki]

What’s the difference

[@rue7342]

More like gen z

[@october6081]

Him: See that microphone?? Why are you trying to whisper into it- Me: Shhh i'm tryna do ASMR Him: What do you mean ASMR?? Me: i- 👁️?!👄!👁️?!!!?

[@ellakarkkainen]

He was talking about danganronpa and here you are-

[@L4rsEdits]

Nagito komeada why are you here

[@molly4330]

omg hi nagito

[@lovyrei]

Kokichi and Nagito fancy seeing you here

[@sadmonkeygirl5223]

not important but ily nagito

[@discardedcheesecloth9214]

Detective: “you are here on account of first degree arson with direct camera evidence” Criminal: “bet” Detective: “I beg your pardon?” Criminal: “then beg”

[@marvelous_680]

So he became a detective because he played Ace Attorney and Danganronpa? A man of culture, I see...

[@lazzykenmakinn2697]

Im sure he is the best just because of that. UnU

[@cxntaur]

danganronpa is very very questionable but i respect him for playing ace attorney

[@echidnapink9748]

"Cute arsonists" Did you mean: the entire Kst Server?

[@KaiSaysThings]

YOU RIGHT

[@alienmonster_5]

🐀 no u

[@ArJHill]

Legit tho

[@isabellaesperat8202]

uno reverse

[@minerexsss]

1:36 Him: They solve cases faster than a gender reveal made bushfire spreads! Me: **chokes on air** *HOLY SH-*

[@yuummay]

Flashbacks

[@yanishika1388]

If I was a criminal this is how I would act... The teddy bear had me crying and laughing at the same time Him: *walks away singing* momma I'm in love with a criminal Me: I could say the same thing

[@stormshadow2942]

"Cute arsonist.." KUYFUKYFIKYTDUTDCJ my HEART, AWWWW!!!

[@Dobadobax]

BADGE NUMBER 420 BLAZE IT I-

[@justapersonnnn]

"Why did you burn down the police station" *Because ACAB* *I stole a monster energy,, im a baddie 😌✌*

[@Manerah-cp1zs]

ugh as u should😌💅

[@OhsweetOhno]

Gotta love Aizawa freaking out on your pfp

[@KaiSaysThings]

Remember to burn your police stations down carefully! Don't you get hurt

[@siri7228]

@@KaiSaysThings AND THAT'S ON PERIODT

[@siri7228]

@Listener-Chan I see you everywhere

[@matthewpino1420]

42069: “preferred pronouns?” My non-binary self: the void

[@listener8331]

Three dogs in a trench coat 😎

[@sageissleeping5165]

@@listener8331 what kinda dogs?

[@wtfucculent]

Voide

[@lyn6035]

Void/voidself

[@KaiSaysThings]

ugh, felt even with technically being a he/him 😔

[@zero896]

The Little"I'm in love with a criminal" KILLED ME

[@xxdawnymarie143xx3]

“Mama I’m in love with a criminal”

[@wtfucculent]

Mamaaaaaaa uwu

[@anawkwardbean165]

I'm EARLY for once and I love this! I kinda want more of this lovely silliness! ”See that microphone?... Why are you trying to whisper into it?... What do you mean ASMR??” ”Just because you're eye candy, doesn't mean I’m gonna give you a kiss! Unless...” ”Do it, no balls.” ”Bet.” Honestly sounds like a something that’d happen to me.

[@KaiSaysThings]

HAHAHAHA

[@mythandmayhem1134]

The Gen Z energy in this is IMMACULATE

[@quackers7679]

"Five accounts of arson." hm, sounds like something a legend would do

[@tishiundercover8467]

"I played Danganronpa and Ace Attorney before. I know what I'm doing" *drops to the ground and laughs* BOY WE GOING ON A DATE Edit: He is so adorably awkward. I wanna squeeze his cheeks

[@WhyMeWaa1]

What kind of cheeks?

[@wolfoxMineblox]

"mama i'm in love with a criminal" the fact i havent heard that song in 3 years- i somehow remember some on the lyrics-

[@lovyrei]

I just imagine that Y/N is leaning backwards on the chair and giving off chaotic energy for no reason and the pronouns part boi its Yes and No

[@vert4497]

no idea why im still awake but im here 😽

[@babydai5472]

"I played Ace Attorney and Danganronpa before I know I'm doing" HAHAHSJSJZO I'M CRYING THIS IS SO CUTE AND FUNNY

[@boopersboop760]

PLEASE THE AMOUNT OF MEMERY IN THIS VIDEO IM CRYIN 😭😭💗💗

[@boopersboop760]

WAIT I JUST REALIZED MY ART IS AT THE END CREDITS WHAT OMG

[@KaiSaysThings]

IT'S AMAZING I COULDN'T DECIDE WHICH ART OF YOURS TO USE

[@cockyoin7062]

Narancia

[@graysilcock1881]

"five accounts of arson and more?" me, a bisexual who's worryingly obsessed with arson: i feel seen.

[@minerexsss]

0:16 Him: The time is..4:20 pm! ᴺᶦᶜᵉᵎ Me: **frickin' dies** 0:33 Him: Batch number...420 ᴮˡᵃᶻᵉ ᶦᵗᵎ Me: **frickin' dies again** 0:38 Him: U-uh, I mean, b-batch number...42069. Me: **how many times do I have to frickin' die!?**

[@selene768]

Teehee I'm writing a script to shift realities right now And the only reason I'm shifting realities is Aiden 👁️👄👁️

[@KaiSaysThings]

:blushshades:

[@menphia8187]

Good idea

[@crispysol4961]

Wait you tryin to shift too 👁👄👁

[@menphia8187]

@@crispysol4961 been using raven method religiously

[@crispysol4961]

@@menphia8187 damn I’ve tried it and it really hard for me. But I have been using this other method..

[@boombalyla3614]

Not the finger guns 😂

[@lazzykenmakinn2697]

Bisexual intensifies

[@niya2040]

Him: preferred pronouns? Me: she/they **starts crying**

[@rhubarbian14]

ive been waiting for this, TURN IT UPPPPPPPPPP

[@awesomesauce010]

I WAS GONNA COMMENT THATGWUQUQ

[@rhubarbian14]

@@awesomesauce010 LMAOOOOOO SORRY

[@agereartist3763]

Omg I'd drag the interrogation out as long as possible

[@kaelaosborne445]

I literally teared up at the "preferred pronouns" as I always get misgendered. I literally screamed "THEY THEM SHE HER" edit: its they/them and on occasion he/him...so flipped

[@marcopickle8665]

"Why are you whispering in there?" "Asmr" Imagen if that happend 😂

[@treeweenie6236]

Amazing as always Kai, keep up the great work! It's refreshing to have a more devious listener! 💕💕

[@KaiSaysThings]

Thamnk you 🥺💓

[@little.miss.teacup]

Fun fact; I wrote the listener to be as realistic as possible with the audience in mind and got,,,, this

[@treeweenie6236]

@@little.miss.teacup Oh wow, you did an amazing job man! :0

[@little.miss.teacup]

@@treeweenie6236 aaaa thank you!! 👉👈💕

[@jimmer4789]

ah yes a new audio :chefkiss: love the teddy bear and badge no.

[@KaiSaysThings]

AH HECK HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! YOU'RE AMAZING AND YOU'RE LOVED, MWUAH

[@little.miss.teacup]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! NOW GO COMMIT ARSON!!!

[@jimmer4789]

@@KaiSaysThings AHHHH TYSM 💕

[@jimmer4789]

@@little.miss.teacup TYYYYY💖 AND YES I SHALL

[@MossyAlchemist]

*slams hands on table* "Come back! I still want that SMOOCH!"

[@drinkik]

Just started watching, the 'nice' after 4:20 legit made me burst out laughing LMAO this is gonna be a good audio

[@splorhp6423]

Alternative title: *The only good cop interrogates us but we're Gen Z TikTokers and it shows.*

[@blank7171]

Detective 42069: Did you REALLY burn down a Police Station JUST because your friend told you to? Listener: *Yes I did that.* AND YOU WOULD DO IT TOO FOR A CHECK! I was an employee. And I WAS gonna get employee of the month, and that's on ✨periodt~.✨

[@alienmonster_5]

i wheezed when he said "420,, *blaze it* " incredible video 👌💕

[@little.miss.teacup]

*nice*

[@alienmonster_5]

@@little.miss.teacup …ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ💕💕💕💜💜💜💜💜💖💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💞💞💞💞💞 aha ur so cool aha 💕💕💕💕💜💜💜💜💜💖💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💞💞💞💞✨✨✨

[@little.miss.teacup]

@@alienmonster_5 ahahaha,,, no u 💕💓💕💓💕

[@alienmonster_5]

@@little.miss.teacup aha no you 💕💖💗💞💜💓💘

[@fluoriteaishiteiru7733]

"42069, thats really my number, huh?" Me, innocent: eh? What does that mean? I'll go ask a friend.. *after asking* Me, with a broken mind: ....holy sh*t...

[@KaiSaysThings]

Oops-

[@rssimonton9382]

*reads number* ohh HA

[@ArJHill]

What DOES that mean?

[@fluoriteaishiteiru7733]

@@ArJHill they didnt tell me the true honest meaning cause they didnt want to trully corrupt me, they only told me about the "69" buut i still don't know what the "4 20" mean yet hahaha

[@crybaby2205]

@@fluoriteaishiteiru7733 I thinkkkkkk 4 20 is slang for marijuana

[@novasan6873]

Sir, I am not smug. The least I can do is compliment your hair and say your doing a great job at your work.

[@_.-Skitterbug-._]

"Choo choo" Faintly: *Mama I'm in love with a criminal*

[@Supernatural_-tr7ex]

Him: badge number 420 Me: blaze it Hime: blaze it Me:yo cut the cameras dead ass

[@honxbee5481]

I don't know why, But I love how you have BLM on every cop that you have that is so freaking epic. Also...I like that teddy bear name I wanna give him hugs-

[@ragingboba4894]

“And.. preferred pronouns.” Me: *screaming intensifies* s-she/her or s-she/they.. *pwease* :3

[@noobycreeperbruh4940]

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smug criminal

[@someone-zp4ji]

In the end him singing : Mama I'm in love with the criminal

[@sabishi2000]

YALL HEAR HOW HE JUST SUNG AT THE END "cause' mama im inlove with a criminal"

[@emerycorner]

That would be a reason for me doing a crime tbh

[@levhaiba448]

Of course I was committing arson 😂😂

[@frenchcroissant9912]

Imma tell yaku

[@emberspic5104]

"And...preffered pronouns?" Me, being gender apathetic: *nervous sweating*

[@KaiSaysThings]

correct answer: "yes" or "eh"

[@emberspic5104]

I also get very confused when my PE teacher says "Girls go to one side, and boys go to the other" like, you expect me to choose???-

[@coffewsegzt]

It is 1 am but its ok, now i need to see this first

[@silviamustafa5241]

I don’t know why this is the best and cutest same in my life :3

[@T0rchKnight]

“Why did you burn Dow that building? What was ur motive” My mental health, and also it sounded like fun

[@lucijan4342]

The ASMR part KILLED mmeee!! Like I just imagine just getting out of my restraints and him be like "HEY! HOW DID YOU-" only for me to start tapping on them close to the mic 🤣🤣

[@morning.comrade8188]

I love the last bit when he sings! It's so cute!💕

[@BoxxedJuicee]

I honestly don’t know how to feel when the listeners personality matches me so well because all the jokes/things they say is something I’d say. Plus I joke about committing arson lol 💃

[@juno424]

“I’m in love with a criminal” YOUR IN LOVEWITH ME?!?? 🥳🥳

[@halliethealleycat]

OGMFMDJJDIDBDJEE THE ENDING "Mama I'm in love with a criminal~"

[@tairhan7404]

“...the time is... 4:20 PM.” Me: “heh” “Nice.” Me: “AYYYYYYYYY”

[@Ari._._._]

Him: See that microphone? Him: Are you trying to whisper into it Me: Shhhhh I’m trying to to asmr Him: What do you mean asmr? Me: i- SHHHHHHHH Me: *Random noises*

[@bottleofrobin3050]

HI SUP YOU KNOW IM HERE TO BE INTERROGATED BY YOU HELLO HI

[@littlehakiru9714]

The im in love with a criminal~ just got me weezing

[@dragonfruit_waves8797]

Me wondering what I did to get out in jail:I wonder if it was First degree murder?? Kai:Multiple accounts of arson- Me knowing I tried to set me laptop, house , and Christmas tree:I-How did you know that?

[@Macat757]

Him: “five accounts of arson” Me: starts violently shaking “ Ă̵̧̡̢̢̢̢̢̢̨̧̢̢̛̹̤̫̻̺͓͕̣̺̯͕̘̜̩͍̯͉̭̹̞̩̣̰͕͍̹̗̗̜̻̥͔̜̥͔̟̞̩̯̞̲̹̻̩͈͙̠̳̝͓̳̗̹͆̈͗̎̉̏̉̿̎̓͌̏͑̿̓͌́̃́̐̓͑͒̎̈́͗͆̋͒̈́̍̌͐͒̍̓̓̎̌̆̐́̃̀͒̉̈́̏͛̕̕͘̚̕̚͠͝͝ͅͅr̴̢̧̡̧̡̢̡̡̘͙̣̼̫͓̠̱̹̜̣̳̦̗͓͓̯͇̼̻̙̘̺̹͉̯̭̱̤̹̩̖̱͓̤̤̪̮͔̣̬̗̙̖̺̤̲͕̭̘̥̜̹̖̼̤͊͐̋͛͗͒͒́͐͛̀̇̆̅̀̍̐͐̿̽͒̀͗̈́̆̾̂̇̎̚̚̚̚̚͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅṧ̷̢̨̢̢̢̻̗̞͖̰̻̹̖̦͍̻̥̪̱͈̼̞̘͎̰͇̞̮͔̞̭̞͕̼̩͓̘͎̺̯̹̥͕̽̈̇̐͗͛̍̾̇͊̕͜ͅȍ̶̡̨̨̢͓͔̼̘̼̹̰͙̭̼̘͙͕̣̫̼̮͉̠̬̤̺̰̦̍̐́̒͋̓̒̓̈́̊̓̓͐̃͗̿͆̈̒̋̾́̔̿̒̋͐̾̉̊̏̋́̍́͒̑̅̎̿̍̕̚͘͘͜͜͜͠͠ͅͅṅ̸̡͖̼̮̣̞̤̭̞̣̟̩̬̱͚͚̫̖̰̻̰̯̿̀̓̋̐̉͐͐͋̕̕ “

[@EmmaVolturi]

Keep up the good work and btw I am 15 years old I enjoyed my birthday with my family.

[@KaiSaysThings]

Aww well happy late birthday!! Thank you so much for watching!

[@EmmaVolturi]

@@KaiSaysThings no problem you and stay safe and I eat yummy cake UwU yummy

[@Satan-ub7we]

This guy is so cute and the fact that he brought his teddy bear is so freaking adorable

[@aizawashota6494]

kaminari?

[@lemlim]

Nobody : The listener : ASmR~

[@emo2932]

Watch the next ASMR be us doing it again with a partner this time. Anyone wanna set some important buildings on fire? I can bring monsters and snacks. 💕💕

[@itsreaganlol]

Jailbird literally talks how I talk irl, ahaha *points finger guns and snaps* ahaha hey shawtie

[@StormtrooperTK--ic8pb]

“4:20 pm…” *simultaneously* “noise”

[@giovanmorabonilla6400]

Nawww "fluffy wuffy tummy the teddy bear" I might cry🥺

[@anawkwardbean165]

I'm EARLY for once and I love this! I kinda want more of this

[@Nex_Ist_Cosplay]

The way he asked for Prounounces and not Gender!!! I CANT-

[@teddybear9533]

I wanna see more of this character I find him adorable yet intriguing I hope to see him more in the future.

[@River_Katerina]

This is my favorite. Ever. Just my favorite thing ever.

[@taptop1467]

NO BC I FIND IT SO FUNNY THAT HES TALKING TO AN ARSONIST AND FUCKING SAYS BLAZE IT AKJFBDYHS-

[@milk.drawsx]

THE ENDING I- *" mama im inlove with a criminal"* PFT-

[@LeviAckermann13]

"what do you mean asmr" LMFAO

[@skratchisrandom5596]

Fucking Gen Z fire starter kit- ✔ Setting police station ablaze- ✔ Getting interrogated by cutey- ✔ Getting married- ..... We're getting there

[@taesxl]

7:04 AYEE YESS

[@endless_moonasmr]

zion: "why did you burn down the police station" me: "uhhh-- im a piromaniac thats kinda my job-" (OMG I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCHHHHHHH) 🥴😵

[@weirdo_simp3625]

Me; Look's at the BLM Sticker On His Uniform Also, Me Being an Afro-Latina: Ight Lemme Cry Real Quick......

[@anastasia-ws9vi]

Me :half asleep Him: danganronpa Me:NANI?¿

[@heartssant]

Pointing finger guns at the surveillance camera? Yup, *that's me*-

[@CrucifiedMoon]

Zion:"preferred pronouns?" Me being a she/they:"Welp shit,your hand in marriage sir?"

[@alexisa2913]

I'M EARLY! Heck yea! I just started listening to it and i love it already!

[@Softiebliss]

lol I love it when he said the *Mama I'm inlove with the criminal* 😌