Nessa Barrett - dying on the inside (official music video)

[@NessaBarrett]

I can’t believe my debut album, young forever, is finally going to be yours 10/14!!! 🕊 you can pre-save it now: nessa.lnk.to/youngforever

[@sairaarif1681]

omg i’m the first comment love this song and ur other songs nessa❤️

[@mariamaz979]

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@madinaapsova4496]

Ouahusu

[@pantoff80]

Nessa, wow!!!

[@pantoff80]

Спасибо за песню!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ты супер!!!!

[@abcdef-ry9hx]

the way the camera is distorted whenever she stands up to show the dizziness that comes with not eating. the way the number on the scale gets higher and higher every time she steps on it despite her not actually gaining weight to show how body dysmorphia affects the way you see yourself. the details in nessa’s music videos are always unmatched.

[@patriciaaguiar3007]

and the bats, i think they represent the intrusive thoughts

[@johnbackwards5835]

THIS IS EXCATLY WHAT I THOIGHT!!! i suffer from an eating disorder and i related to this song, that part specifically, so much. she’s so good

[@dc66]

i noticed also how repetitive the song is, the chorus comes up like 3 times, i personality saw this as a parallel to how repetitive eating disorders and body dysmorphia can be, and how it can come back, “comes back to life”

[@endermangaming585]

It's not a mistake, ✨ it's a masterpiece!✨

[@222realestbih]

exactly

[@Yourebeautiful-yh7vl]

This is a masterpiece. Nessa you should be so proud of yourself.

[@itsarianababeyuh5106]

@Mbita Acoustic Guitar hey! I love your covers! You’re nice keep going!

[@emily.peterson17]

YES!!!

[@tomaselgalan6944]

@Mbita Acoustic Guitar kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@whatisilyionlyknowipurpleyou]

@@itsarianababeyuh5106 I see what u did there, lol. 💜

[@itsarianababeyuh5106]

@@whatisilyionlyknowipurpleyou omg lol, hey army💜

[@OfficialBeauxASMR]

This was incredible

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@jessepass6962]

Ikr

[@madisonberry6894]

Two years in and this song still hits like it was dropped yesterday. 😊

[@marianasousa2423]

Absolutely adore how you didn’t romanticize this and looked the most genuine and real you possibly could, unlike mvs who make it all “pretty”. From the dizziness to the mess it feels like, you got it all. Wow.

[@Zombina638]

No

[@marianasousa2423]

@@Zombina638 didn’t ask, bring your negativity elsewhere :)

[@marianasousa2423]

@@Zombina638 didn’t ask, bring your negativity elsewhere :)

[@Zombina638]

@@marianasousa2423 who asked kid.

[@marianasousa2423]

@@Zombina638 you, by responding to my comment. Enough “kid”.

[@NessaBarrett]

Thank u for letting me be vulnerable with u. I hope “dying on the inside” can help anyone who needs it. Love u sm 🤍🤍

[@jisellebrown1412]

Thank you Nessa, you were able to word what I couldn't.

[@jascminbutthecissilent1755]

Girl your music is everything and I’m absolutely obsessed

[@jascminbutthecissilent1755]

Patiently waiting for a bomb ass lyric video

[@charlieszz]

Love u too, love your songs ❤❤❤🥺🥺

[@ally-890]

I love this song so much. Thank you Nessa for making this masterpiece. It helps me be vulnerable

[@arianysseda8999]

“You should take it as a compliment If I were you I’d be more confident.” and “I hate that I, always look my best But I’m dying on the inside.” Really just hits different

[@aliicendll]

when I’m dying on the inside * :)

[@donaldducksazzcheeks]

Literally

[@nadia-yx6re]

Also the "You should keep it up because it really looks great." Like. I can't imagine hearing that when you're trying to reach out or thinking about getting help.

[@arianysseda8999]

@@nadia-yx6re exactly I love how u can just relate to her music and feel it

[@nadia-yx6re]

@@arianysseda8999 that's why I love music. It hits you where NOTHING else does. Nothing compares to that feeling.

[@Orangeoverlorde]

I had no idea she had a ED, the way I can relate to this song is painful. The dizziness, the bats, the disappointment after the scale, the hoodies, the late night snack which you neglect to see other girls who look better than you, the contemplating by the fridge, the compliments. To all the people who don't believe her, you wouldn't understand unless you went through the same thing. Its like falling through a hole where the world is black and white and whenever you try to get up you get pushed down farther because of your thoughts wandering around you and the people outside saying you are doing great. Nessa, you just got a fan.

[@athanasiathourlaki1094]

Yes. That is true!

[@yourmom.3261]

What Do The Bats Mean Please?

[@Orangeoverlorde]

@@yourmom.3261 In my perspective, I think the bats represent your state of mind, or all of the bad thoughts in your head

[@yourmom.3261]

@@Orangeoverlorde Thank You !!

[@Jeon_Ari_]

Same here. It sucks 🥲

[@tvvinnieee]

THIS SONG IS A MASTERPIECE. can’t stop listening to it. It deserves soooo much recognition. In times where everyone is obsessed with social media this song is what describes it the best

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@XNDEZ]

u should listen to the sped up version 😁😁 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIPIgWCinMd9h7s

[@tashiegholchin5893]

Frl mommy

[@hippityhoppity6313]

Get off of social media. It isnt worth it. Ive had so much more time and happiness since I quit all social media years ago.

[@tashiegholchin5893]

@@hippityhoppity6313 wdym daddy

[@lealovesari8528]

the dizziness.the numbers on the scale.the binge eating.the mirror.the lyrics.everything is perfect,Nessa deserves everything.

[@HeartEllis]

No one deserves anything that's the secret to being grateful for everything

[@gachatana9656]

​@@HeartEllis Everyone deserves at least the basics. That's why they're human rights. 😂

[@haleymclain9911]

It’s not easy sharing things so close to your heart. We are the lucky ones that get to hear your vulnerability and rawness through your music. It’s relatable, cuts deep, and allows understanding to who you are as a person. You’re beautiful and so very talented, girl. People underestimate you because they don’t want to acknowledge just how real and talented you truly are. You’re already going places, but I know you will go further. Continue to share the raw beauty of who you truly are. Good job, Nessa. So proud of you!

[@jacquelineviator6285]

I agree, very well said! Nessa is so raw and talented. ❤️

[@tomaselgalan6944]

@Mbita Acoustic Guitar kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@aprilbyyy1705]

@Mbita Acoustic Guitar I wanna tell you Jesus Christ Loves You So Much He Gave His Life for our sins so we can be forgiven from our sins and Go To Heaven! Gods Love For Us Is Unconditonal

[@endermangaming585]

It's not a mistake, ✨ it's a masterpiece!✨

[@venikaamitchell]

This song is clearly underrated. Nessa really helps me, I listen to this song and understand how much it is connected with the reality of many

[@madjb24]

So true, listen to this one daily.

[@sayitinspanishh]

❤️‍🩹

[@betonyuna]

i love the symbolism in this. from the dizziness when she stands up, due to not eating anything, to the bats frantically surrounding her, which could be her erratic thoughts, or people swarming her with compliments while she’s secretly struggling, and the numbers going up every time she weighs herself, which could be how her body dysmorphia affects her view of herself. i love it, and i love nessa

[@gaj30]

i like your take on the bats

[@moonlight_sparkle6659]

I’ve never heard ED being portrayed this realistic and heavy let alone in a pop song before, the lyrics are hauntingly beautiful and truly something a lot of us can relate to. I seriously hope she makes it because she can go very far with her singing and writing abilities, God even the cinematography is beautiful!

[@HeartEllis]

Please don't use God's name in vain ❤️ He loves you very much ❤️

[@gachatana9656]

​@@HeartEllis "Lord's name in Vain" actually refers to using God as an argument against other people or to make yourself Holier than them. Please learn the true meaning and stop Sinning. God Bless you.

[@KatieM786]

Have you heard Fiona Apple?

[@kimtata2831]

This song really reminds me of when I had high functioning depression and anxiety. Lost a lot of weight, got so pale from lack of sunlight and anemia, slept all day and never ate and all everyone called me is beautiful and I wanted to die

[@ally1618]

Nessa’s music is so inspiring and she has the most beautiful voice. I can’t wait to see her live again

[@kimberly6963]

RIGHT

[@aninasophia5396]

the way she adresses important topics and her songs always turn out great and make so many ppl feel understood is an art

[@JOutterbridge]

I love her songs. Her latest album was great too

[@jacquelineviator6285]

I’m 25 and have been listening to Nessa since “Pain”. She quickly became my favorite artist. She is so real, raw, and talented. I cannot wait for her new album and tour!! I relate to all of her songs with my anxiety, depression and even my addiction. I know this song is about ED and I hope her and everyone in these comments find peace and happiness, I know it’s hard, but some of the lyrics really relate to my addiction and is also helping me in the same way. I hope she knows how many people she is helping. I cannot wait for more music from her. 💗💗

[@XNDEZ]

u should listen to the sped up version 😁😁 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIPIgWCinMd9h7s

[@princess_tia_mia2552]

@JaquelineViator You are not alone. I feel the same way. Same exact way. 🖤

[@IDontKnow-pf6en]

hey im an addict too

[@222realestbih]

i’ve been struggling with ed, anxiety and depression and it’s good to hear that someone else relates especially in music, ur so strong angel

[@aprilbyyy1705]

Hi I wanna tell you Jesus Loves You So Much He Gave His Life for our sins so we can be forgiven from our sins and Go To Heaven ! Gods Love For Us Is Unconditonal

[@allieferraro9579]

I used to dislike her because of the drama. But this girl is so strong, even with the hate she gets she stays strong and continues to grow

[@noursaccount]

fr.

[@minellewin9216]

Cause she makes money

[@WHEREISDANA]

@@minellewin9216 not the right time bud 💔

[@imLuckiii]

Her ex cheated on her with many girls but when she left she was attacked, she really isn’t problematic it’s the fact that she’s always dimmed to be the perpetrator in every situation

[@Juli-qw2oo]

@@imLuckiii which ex?

[@MarleyMar-ke3qw]

I’m so proud of everything she’s accomplished. Screw the haters. She’s beautiful and so talented!

[@Marisajuarez2009]

I love this comment

[@barretlover]

Yess.

[@Bumblebee_honeycone]

Yessss

[@loapborges]

YESSS

[@salinagrace9782]

so good I'm so proud of her for making this video and this song this hits is something we all deal with at some point thank you for bringing awareness 💜

[@takemebackto2018]

“I don’t wanna hear it, you’re fine.” God bless anyone who has had to hear this sentence. May you find true love from others and more importantly love for yourselves.

[@levelningup6270]

i was diagnosed with anorexia and body dysmorphia a few months ago and honestly this song is the best thing i've heard in so long. i hate the songs that make eating disorders sound like it's fun or whatever. i absolutely love this and i hope nessa, myself, and everyone else dealing with eds get the help they need to recover

[@LapissHamster]

That's true but I also feel like the positivity in some songs comes from the denial that eating disorders bring like ur constantly trying to convince urself that what ur doing is justified and trying to convince urself ur fine but deep inside u know ur not. But the negative perspective documented in this video is 100% valid and healthy because recognizing that u need help is so fucking important in order to get started with recovery. U still may not know exactly what to do because ur stuck in the cycle as illustrated by the lyrics and the mv but it's a start!

[@LapissHamster]

@maggymeggz I completely understand because i myself have a long history with eating disorders and still have a long way to go for recovery but I never saw the song that way like I'm not the most positive person but I interpreted it in a /positive way and I thought that line was talking about comparing ur body to someone else's and wanting someone else's body and how people look at models and other people and tend to envy their bodies, leading to a negative body image. I know not all eating disorders begin with bad body image but it is a factor for some. Correct me if I'm wrong but that line is not talking about wanting someone else's illness but you have every reason to feel that way and ur feelings are valid. I also think Mel is talking from personal experience but you don't have to listen to that song if it's triggering. I know there isn't enough music about eating disorders (not explicit at least) but there are other songs like this one by Nessa or Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInaBand as well as body terror song if ur looking for relatable music to find comfort in! :,D Good luck on ur journey!

[@giaparmer]

@maggymeggz no I agree w you bc not all eating disorders are about body image or comparing yourself to others so it came off wrong, because like you said you can’t just stop having an eating disorder. I think nessas song better showed that eating disorders are more rooted in control than physical insecurity. Mine for example (ARFID) has literally nothing to do with body image, all control and self harm based

[@funkidsrecordings661]

Started with womens magazines ran by women that have gone through the same thing.. now with the internet things are 1000% worse unfortunately.

[@sideeswipe]

What songs make eating disorders sound fun

[@leonora7007]

Best thing with Nessa is that she’s the voice for everyone that can’t use their own voice, Thank you Nessa❤️‍🩹

[@beachrocks]

the message in this song is so deep and so real, and nessa’s vocals just express the pain it brings perfectly. that’s what i call an artist.

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@michellecr1957]

This

[@nahidahalabi7263]

What hurts the most is when maybe someone tells you “you lost weight” and you still look the same at yourself. Like I have? Nessa’s voice just takes you there… beautiful voice.

[@TheShariasKnowledge]

For me I’m told I’m gaining weight and it’s scaring me cuz I don’t wanna get fat fat or even fat at all. I’m slowly stating to try not to eat again cuz the remarks that u hear about my weight is rlly getting to me

[@charlieiscorrect2856]

People love to discredit tiktokers / “influencers’ but it can be a good outlet for artists to get started. Yes, a lot of people get fame for the bare minimum on social media BUT when you make art like this it doesn’t matter how you started out. I’m so glad to have discovered Nessa.

[@jen-jl5dn]

tbh I think only a handful of tiktokers actually make good music. two of them include nessa and bella poarch.

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@XNDEZ]

u should listen to the sped up version 😁😁 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIPIgWCinMd9h7s

[@delena4evertvd267]

THISSSSS

[@FaithHailey]

@@jen-jl5dn jaden too

[@joewhite9037]

She’s changing my opinion that Tick Tockers can’t be singers/sing. She’s got talent, no doubt about that. Can’t wait to see where she goes. I really like this song.

[@abbiemcknight1370]

Some tiktokers*

[@lilyisme7301]

Bro so many Tiktokers can sing what?

[@syg11235]

She's a singer who went on TikTok not nat tiktoker

[@rachelt777]

she’s not a tiktoker

[@noelialuze]

just because someone becomes known on a platform for one thing doesnt mean they dont have a whole other life and then use the platform to explore and show those talents to us

[@DD-rd8qi]

Not only does this resonate, but it does so beautifully. The raw honesty and feelings that comes with ED is so transparent in this song- within the lyrics and visually in the video. My younger self could’ve used this song to heal and relate to, I’m so glad that I’ve grown from my ED, but it is an everyday battle. I’m just so happy that there are younger girls that get to look up to Nessa and resonate w her beautiful songs and I just hope she knows how proud all of her fans are of her for being so utterly open. I’m also happy that all of you reading this are alive, we need you here 🤍

[@jacquelineviator6285]

This comment >>>

[@madisonberry6894]

1:21 “I wish I could break the mirror, that makes feel like I should f***ing disappear , and Drown my demons in a bathtub filled with tears , no matter what I try they always seem to come back to life.” Hits so different 🥺💕

[@juliannesta2135]

this songs means the world to me. i’ve been struggling w an ed for years and this makes me feel not so alone. to everybody who relates to this, i believe in u, u got this and i’m so proud of u

[@avebaby1]

i've never related to someone so much in my entire life. this song and scare myself are some of the closest hitting songs i've ever heard and I'm so grateful nessa shares her story about her depression. I ALWAYS thought it was weird and it was just me thinking these things because i have body dysmoprhia and depression!! thank you so much ness you are truly and angel and I'm so glad I'm in this life time with you.

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@aprilbyyy1705]

Hi I wanna tell you Jesus Loves You So Much He Gave His Life For Our sins so we can be forgiven from our sins and Go To Heaven! Gods Love For Us Is Unconditonal!!!

[@avebaby1]

@@aprilbyyy1705 nah!!!!

[@jocelynward4924]

i struggle with an eating disorder as well as nessa and millions of others. it’s hard. super hard. having this huge fear of weight gain and feeling like you can’t eat anything, or you do but then have this extreme guilt about it. i really appreciate this song because it explains what I’m feeling inside so well. how you can seem fine on the outside but be completely dying on the inside. thanks so much for sharing this with the world. we love you ness ❤️

[@Mary-ts6gj]

I hope you feel better soon

[@simonaluisapalladino3135]

I have the same problem as you so i understand you😣💖

[@thalitabarbosadesousa4087]

@@simonaluisapalladino3135 Friend, I don't suffer from an eating disorder but I imagine how bad it must be to go through this... I imagine that low self-esteem can be the beginning of eating disorders,but if you have self-esteem,know that you are very beautiful and nothing and no one will make you think otherwise. I may not know you but I know you have a unique and wonderful beauty. I say this not only to you but to all those who also suffer from it. I just want you to never forget that you are important,special, unique and very beautiful just like everyone else in the world.

[@thalitabarbosadesousa4087]

@@simonaluisapalladino3135 In my opinion there are no ugly people in this world, although I have never seen most people, but I know that we are all beautiful in our own way. I really don't know what your metabolism is like, if you gain weight easily or if you have a hard time gaining weight, but no matter what, know that you beautiful. So, I recognize that not every day we will find ourselves beuatiful but don't let it affect you an daily basis..

[@sophiaubogy-threet9866]

Same sis, eat something today ur not alone and ur beautiful remember that

[@kaurikeith8877]

She’s the only artist I found on TikTok that makes such quality music. She deserves the world, the level of courage it takes to be this vulnerable is amazing and I appreciate it. This helped me Nessa, if you ever read this! Love you💜

[@wolfie7981]

Hey just a small recommendation, if you like Nessa's music you should check out baby bugs, they're a small artist and they make music similar to this song that you may like/nf

[@Adelina_96]

​@@wolfie7981yeah true, pure as a lamb is a song I listened to a lot

[@wolfie7981]

@@Adelina_96 yea it's ⏃ good song

[@dylooh1519]

her music is relatable, unlike others that just come up with things that sound relatable. she’s going through things, even if her life seems perfect. she portrays it nicely in her words, while others tend to romanticize their music that has much more meaning. she doesn’t. it’s relieving and different. i’m proud of her. she’s come far, and will continue to go far.

[@avenm.gonzalez1219]

thats the reason why i like her music even we are just gettubg the beginning is bc she talks about stuff of mental health and its romanticizedand don’t minorized

[@marysouza_007]

Man this girl is extremely talented, her songs are perfect. She deserves all the success she is having and it's no wonder that besides being my stan she is my favorite singer I'M SO PROUD OF YOU NESS AAAAAAA

[@sickluvs]

And so racist and islamphobic

[@josemiralrio6546]

@@sickluvs get over it

[@marysouza_007]

@@sickluvs Dude get over it, it's over.

[@marysouza_007]

@@sickluvs Your misinformation is so great that you don't even notice it.First she was never racist, you should research first before spreading lies and about the other thing she already apologized, and you should already know that

[@live-laugh-love]

As someone who has also struggled with eating disorders growing up… this really hit close to home. There’s so much meaning cinematography in this video… Those shots where the camera is blurry and spinning (ex. @0:24) is exactly what it feels like when your body is malnourished because of an eating disorder. Thank you for talking about this Nessa. You are a true artist and your soul shines through with your music

[@aprilrose1440]

Just heard this for the first time and I cried coz it kinda hit. I don't have an ED, but I focus on how I look so much and it's so exhausting, dehumanising and empty, and only feeds my insecurities. Thank you so much for this song.

[@Yogirl_le3n]

I aggree

[@sothewalrus]

I'm very late, but same here. I can't have scales in the house because it's too triggering to see my weight, even if it's healthy weight gain. It's very tiring.

[@taylornicole1297]

So proud of you Ness! "Dying on the inside" and "Scare myself" are the only songs that have ever really explained word from word what goes on in my body and brain every single day with my ED and Schizoaffective. Thank you for giving me and others a voice that don't and to make us not feel alone.

[@0909.b]

Stop hating on this wonderful girl she is just trying to learn how to love herself and she's doing amazing at it! Love you Ness!!

[@sickluvs]

She’s islamphobic and racist❤️

[@0909.b]

@@sickluvs Proof? you have any lol your literally the people we need to get rid of in the world.

[@ivesdoll]

@@sickluvs the fact that you're replying to comments saying that is embarrassing the obsession is real, why would you want to give her attention if she's "racist" I bet you're not even Muslim, if you are you should already forgive that's what the religion is about

[@sickluvs]

@@ivesdoll isn’t a obsession w the islamphobic cheater, i only said facts

[@ivesdoll]

@@sickluvs naww she ain't a cheater, Josh and nessa were not dating when she liked jaden, just look it up 💀 you probably look up her name a lot anyways

[@Sete]

What I felt listening to this song is not written... I'm in shock ♥️😥

[@ijustwannarewind]

same,

[@tomaselgalan6944]

@@ijustwannarewind kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@mariachamoun7]

*LYRICS* You should take it as a compliment If I were you, I would be more confident You're lucky that you're pretty Why are you obsessed with your appearance? I don't wanna hear it, you're fine It's been my best-kept secret for a while now No one ever sees it, but it's all around It's the dinner conversation no one talks about Don't know how much longer I can keep this down Beauty is a knife I've been holding by the blade Swallowing my pride so I won't eat anything It's all a lie, honestly, it's eating me alive They're all like "Did you change your hair?" "Did you lose a little weight?" "You should keep it up 'cause it really looks great" I hate that I always look my best When I'm dying on the inside (When I'm dying on the inside) I wish I could break the mirror That makes me feel like I should fucking disappear And drown my demons in a bathtub filled with tears No matter what I try, they always seem to come back to life What if I didn't do this to my body? What if I quit and then you don't want me? The dinner conversation no one talks about Don't know how much longer I can keep this down Beauty is a knife I've been holding by the blade Swallowing my pride so I won't eat anything It's all a lie, honestly, it's eating me alive They're all like "Did you change your hair?" "Did you lose a little weight?" "You should keep it up 'cause it really looks great" I hate that I always look my best When I'm dying on the inside (When I'm dying on the inside) (When I'm dying on the inside) You should take it as a compliment If I were you, I would be more confident You're lucky that you're pretty Why are you obsessed with your appearance? I don't wanna hear it, you're fine Beauty is a knife I've been holding by the blade Swallowing my pride so I won't eat anything It's all a lie, honestly, it's eating me alive They're all like "Did you change your hair?" "Did you lose a little weight?" "You should keep it up 'cause it really looks great" I hate that I always look my best When I'm dying on the inside.

[@Zhitel_moskvy]

Thanks

[@mariachamoun7]

@@Zhitel_moskvy you're welcome 😊

[@Matt_Kole]

God bless

[@Soph_0099]

Ty

[@tea2479]

Tysm

[@adrelaw4829]

THE BIRDS?! literally what it feels like to constantly think about food and trying to fight the hunger in your head. truly haunting. i love love LOVE your song

[@emilyrogers9856]

They’re bats 🦇

[@ammericanochuachuaaa]

@@emilyrogers9856 r they not a part of birds species

[@Saphira_21]

This is so truee

[@nikibravo1799]

This song is a beautiful and perfect representation of ED and what it’s like to struggle with your physical appearance at times. It’s especially beautiful because it’s so honest and relatable to all the many people who feel like they can’t speak up regarding their parents image of them or their friends who say they only feel this way because they want attention or they’re being dramatic etc. it’s such a difficultly for some artists to be so vulnerable and raw with the reality of beauty or ED, or their internal feelings, so for this reality- Nessa is the perfect musician to put light and darkness to that in a way people can relate yet feel connected to her. Great job Ness we’re all rooting for you. 🖤

[@bvbyxo6318]

i hate her

[@deanabree]

love that nessa is comfortable enough to share this with us. i’m glad we created a comfortable environment for her to share a very personal song with us. love it.

[@katieschumacher3569]

i’m 15. i struggled with anorexia when i was in 6th grade. then in 8th grade bulimia and still recovering. i understand the pain of it deeply..this song speaks loud

[@keiraregal3162]

I'm so sorry I'm 14 and I've gone thru almost the same thing and I can say this is so accurate it hurts

[@sothewalrus]

I'm in my 20's now, but I went through similar stuff to you at 15 and it didn't feel like it'd get better for a long time. I'm still dealing with some of it now, but it does get easier in time. I hope that you're doing okay ❤

[@delena4evertvd267]

if i see anyone still try to call her a tiktoker or anything like that istg i will reach through my phone and slap them. Nessa is a true artist. she makes good, thoughtful, meaningful music because she’s passionate about it and wants to help others. everyone has a past but she’s proven she has grown and learned and now she’s just tryna do her thing and live a happy life and heal. i’m so proud of her.

[@nicolasmclamb18]

FACTSSSSSS she is a visionary

[@twystic]

Those people who do that are mean and ignorant. She's a real queen for music here. Her style is so beautiful and messages are so powerful!

[@m.o6186]

Shes a tiktoker, and she will always be a tiktoker. Everyone knew her like that. Everyone knows her like that

[@delena4evertvd267]

@@twystic she’s out here making music that is thoughtful and has meaning and is saving lives (including mine, this song literally helped me decide to stop my bad eating habits). i’m so proud of her. and other ppl with nothing better going on in their lives are sitting here saying the same, lame old things about her. kinda feel bad for them lol.

[@alaysiareign478]

@@delena4evertvd267 she is a artist yes but her title is a influencer on and for TikTok. But yes she also is a true artist too for sure :)

[@bermaryscastro9624]

"I hate that I Always look my best When I'm dying on the inside" that's the most relatable part, the fact that she described all of us who have been through that is incredible, no one should be judged, and love yourself as you are.

[@kaitlynsennott7609]

This song is gonna blow up… Ness has something that makes her music so human and real.

[@katelynfernandes2419]

this song is literally me. ive never connected with a song better than this. every lyric of this song describes what ive been going through ever since ive been born. thank u for this masterpiece nessa i love you.

[@Marisajuarez2009]

I’m so proud of nessa she is so talented and so real and she talks about real things like depression and anxiety and how you should love your body I really appreciate her and so happy with how far she came and I have been here since day one with you nessa you really really are amazing

[@teddycat14]

I’m so picky with songs but her music is seriously so good why are people sleeping on bestie ???

[@ChloeDavis-z1y]

I know right

[@laylalady1021]

I'm so proud of her for putting herself out there with this song🤍🦋

[@rosiex1841]

This is a beautiful and heartbreaking song. All my love to Nessa and anyone else who struggles with eating disorders/body image issues 💛

[@MadisonAshleigh]

that was so good dude

[@ness.jxdn.lyrics8856]

I can't explain how proud I am of this 19 year old girl. She has helped me through alot and I'm so happy to have her in my life. And I'm happy she was the person who made me start to make music. And I'm just so truly grateful and proud of this girl

[@kare.lina.]

I am proud of you for having been able to externalize this, in the healthiest way possible, making it art. I hope you can shine emotionally like you do now artistically in the future.

[@hauntedtsversion6043]

the meaning behind this is so unsettling true. having an eating disorder/anorexia/bulima/binging ect.. is more complicated than people perceive it to be. for me personally, having an eating disorder is such a horrible kind of pain. when your mindset is so drawn to your negative thoughts you feel like you deserve it. you think you deserve the black dots and dizziness when you stand up, the gross hoodies you refuse to wash, the feeling when you do it and how it makes you feel worse, the body image in your mirror, how you always claim one specific weight is enough but you strive to make it lower, looking at carbs and calories intake, throwing up constantly, drinking only water because you can't stomach anything else, the constipation, the always in a bad mood, the uncontrollable sensitivity, the sleeping to clear the thought of not eating.. etc.. it's awful. no one deserves to go through that. please remember that YOU are PERCECT just the way YOU are. you're beautiful, i promise.

[@hadarazizian2416]

The way I felt this word for word

[@keiraregal3162]

Have u gone thru any of these that u listed? I'm sorry if u have ik exactly wut u mean by all of this and it's both painful and the best thing in the world to feel so understood

[@selflove-vs-selfhate]

thanks for this comment it's very relatable i think to a lot of people and also i hope you're doing okay or even a little bit better these days ❤ as you know, it's not worth it, even when your own brain disagrees. fuck that tbh haha. ah it sucks so much i know and i'm sorry you're going through it too. you deserve all the good and not to feel so bad physically and mentally. you got this bud 💕 keep on keepin' on !

[@selflove-vs-selfhate]

@@keiraregal3162hey there yeah it sounds like OP does and a lot of people in the comments 😢i also completely understand - it's nice to feel not alone but it's sad too because people are experiencing similar pain. i just hope we can feel better soon ❤

[@taylorhickman2159]

Watched it 5 times in a row and sobbed I still am sobbing. Never once have cried from music this was shown so perfectly nobody has really ever shown this issue the way you did I can’t explain it and I’m making no sense. It’s literally how so many feel and I’m sorry you also deal with it. I love you Ness thank you for everything you give to us ✨🖤🐾

[@wrappedinpeace]

as someone who spent over a decade struggling with this shit, i can safely say this is the most evocative ed song i have ever heard. “beauty is a knife i’ve been holding by the blade?!” holy FUCK.

[@delena4evertvd267]

i just hope she knows not to listen to haters and trolls. because no matter what random, mean words they sit behind their screen and type out, Nessa IS a true artist and that’s very obvious. and she’s making very honest, thoughtful and meaningful music that is helping not only her heal, but others heal as well. and she’s starting conversations that should’ve been started a long time ago and she’s giving people a voice. someday, she’ll be a big star with loads of awards and many albums that are loved by so many people. she’ll be a household name one day. and all the haters are ever gonna be... is mean.

[@myshadow2495]

For someone who struggled with an eating disorder for over 20 years .. this song definitely hits me hard. I'm glad I found a song I can relate to ❤ I have to remember I'm not alone with my struggles

[@keiraregal3162]

Thanks for sharing and ur right ur not alone ik exactly wut that feels like sending hugs ur way🤗

[@dane_riveraa]

i’m so proud of nessa and how far she’s come. her music is amazing and she deserves the world

[@dr.atoosaabn1939]

a well written and expressed song about disordered eating and what comes with it internally. 🙏🏼♥️

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@raissabernardes2584]

o talento dessa mulher TO ARREPIADA COM ESSE CLIP

[@tomaselgalan6944]

kzbin.infopk0nNpXpW90?feature=share

[@cinildasilva6414]

Simm

[@sophialima9242]

Orgulhosa da minha bb

[@starivyx]

im glad this song finally gets the recognition it deserves!! it was my favourite for a very long time, and now seeing it blowing up on tiktok makes me so happy, you´re great nessa and i love you so much, this song means a lot to me

[@cheymalizia4442]

Since it dropped people loved it on yt why since it’s on TikTok it’s considered recognized makes not sense😂

[@angelicaecheveste2055]

I wasn’t her fan or follower tbh but after few songs I swear I’m obsessed now the lyrics, videos, her voice! Just keep going girl cuz u make us feel a lot 🤍

[@jesslaroche4530]

Sameee

[@jimenacaldera946]

so beyond proud of nessa and being able to share something so personal

[@KMX]

Nessa has helped me through so much. I could never thank her enough. When I first heard this song I broke down in tears because of how much I related to the lyrics. This song describes one of my biggest struggles I've dealt with for many years now. Nessa is such an important artist and person in general because she speaks up for those who are afraid to share their feelings and problems. She also helps them find the courage to speak for themselves. Without her I don't think I would ever be able to face demons and get help. Thank you Nessa for sharing your story 🖤 I know this song will help so many people just like it helped me.

[@heartofjxdn2529]

this song is so beautifully written. the meaning behind it is so deep and im so proud of her for releasing such a personal song

[@aileenmaldonado7778]

this girl is going to sell out arenas one day wish nothing but success her way

[@ally-890]

As someone who’s struggled with quite a bit-including body dysmorphia and ED (anorexia), this song really hit home for me. This is now one of my favorite songs….Nessa has always made masterpieces and continues to make better ones each time. I’m so thankful for this song, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone. 🧸🖤

[@endermangaming585]

It's not a mistake, ✨ it's a masterpiece!✨

[@idk-ec5sm]

i’m happy i discovered this song around the time my eating disorder started. dying on the inside has been with me through all the ups and downs. everything about this song is perfect, it describes everything i can't put into words. i'm really so so grateful for nessa

[@marleebanook5138]

Nessa this needs more attention. Not just the amazing vocals and music but also the lyrics you can hear how special it all is if you think about it “beauty is a knife holding it from the blade” that is a masterpiece. Good job!!!

[@natashamongelli2809]

i love her and this song means so much to her and to us, and it means a lot that she’s sharing this with us. cant wait for the albums to come

[@rayaneeduarda364]

EU TO TODA ARREPIADA, QUE MULHER TALENTOSA. Que clipe profundo, que letra sensacional

[@skvvika2533]

Переслушала уже много раз, и хочется еще, это так прекрасно и жизненно...

[@---dp1xx]

Она Умничка .. : )

[@Estriper-t7d]

Согл

[@КрасиваяМариша]

Невероятный кайф с этой песни.Раньше моя любимая была другая.теперь эта

[@queengigii941x9]

Nessa trying to telling us something right here.The most realistic lyrics I have ever listened to. MASTERPIECE with a stamp!

[@aprilbyyy1705]

Hi I wanna tell you Jesus Loves You So Much He Gave His Life for our sins so we can be forgiven from our sins and Go To Heaven! Gods Love For Us Is Unconditonal!!

[@reirin_light2935]

@@aprilbyyy1705 i dont mean this as rude but i dont think this is the best comment section to spread religion.Right now people in the comments are talking about never feeling like they look good enough and i appriciate you spreading religion.I myself am from a religious family.But if its spammed in every comment it can make religion feel forced and some might get the idea that religion forces people which it should not.So maybe send one message and not so many and spam?

[@reirin_light2935]

Im sorry if it sounds rude im not trying to but its just people are talking about serious topics here and telling how the song is good.But spreading religion in a songs comments has nothing to do with the song

[@abrustanolfie2366]

It's not rude. Spreading too much of this faith convo it becomes irrelevant topic.

[@joshuamactavish1755]

This is incredible, I have suffered with anorexia since the age of 14, I'm 28 now, I am no longer in the mindset I was then but my body is damaged my stomach physically struggles to eat normal adult meals regularly and I still forget to feed myself because I'm so used to it, this song is a masterpiece sincerely honest about your issues whilst also trying to help others tackle thiers, If I could've heard a song like this when I was 15 who knows where I'd be now, I honestly can't even think of anything else to say because you have just blown me away, I have no words

[@Janet-lm4hv]

I’m so proud of you nessa you’re such a talented person and the fact you made this song about E.D is amazing because ur reminding people they are not alone love you so much nessa!

[@pametuglavu7]

from someone with an ed this is exactly how it looks like and the lyrics is how it feels like. love you ness for opening up ab such a big topic

[@JosefinaRiveros2003]

she said "i'm gonna be a superstar", yes nessa, you are and i'm so fucking proud of you

[@kaleyyreese]

this is such a good song!! i’m so proud of nessa and everything she’s accomplished the past year.

[@alisson1366]

I am so proud of her, she knows how to get ahead despite criticism and hate, which of course, she does not deserve, she is a wonderful person, and they criticize her without knowing her. I love you so much ness

[@Akaria.Luvs1]

Even though I don’t have any kind of ED, I feel this on a personal level! “Don’t know how much longer I can keep this down” is hauntingly accurate. Listen, I’ve kept some things a secret for a long time. Mostly my feelings. The chorus, however, just gets me every time. “Beauty is a knife I’ve been holding by the blade” I feel this. Like I’m not the most beautiful girl in the world, and I’m not ugly either. I do regularly check myself to see if I’ve gained weight..and it sometimes disappoints me. I eat food a lot, (even when I’m not hungry) so I’m heavier than my brother who is only 70 Ibs. “Swallowing my pride so I don’t eat anything.” Okay, whether you have an ED or not, those who have some kind of issue with their body can feel me. (Or those with childhood trauma.) To cope with a certain amount of things in my life, (mostly family issues), I always act happy and act like I’m the best. I’m always overconfident around family and friends. Now, I love my body but there are so things I dislike. I wish I could eat less but it’s just not that easy… “It’s all a lie.” Okay so a number of times I have had to act like someone I’m not. But now thinking about it this is my entire messed up personality.. “Honestly it’s eating me alive.” Same. I had a breakdown on ground hog day in my last class. I just couldn’t control it. All those bad emotions came to the surface like a balloon popping out of the water. “They’re all like:” Feel this. Many toxic classmates for me. “Did you change your hair? Did you loose a little weight?” Idk why people notice those things. And not the emotions inside. Well- maybe it’s because I hide it that easily. “You should keep it up, cause it really looks great.” I know people are trying to compliment me, but it just doesn’t work…the way they are so oblivious to the ride of emotions inside or don’t know about my past…so they don’t understand, makes me feel uncomfortable. “I hate that I always look my best.” *When I’m dying on the inside*

[@BoatClutchGod]

She really expresses herself with her music, and her songs are AMAZING

[@_starlightxx]

did i just find a gravity falls fan- (dont mind me im scrolling through the comments while listening to this song on repeat)

[@delena4evertvd267]

i just wanna say it’s so NICE to have someone be open about their ED while they are still currently struggling with it instead of years later. i’m not saying people NEED to talk about it before they’re ready i’m just saying it’s nice that Nessa happened to feel comfortable talking about it while she has it because it really feels like i have someone to go through it and get better with in real time. it’s nice to know that there is someone still struggling with me in real time. instead of feeling like a celebrity came out about it years later because they were ashamed of it. Nessa makes it seem like it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s something we should talk about. right now. so we can get better and more people can be aware of how to help.

[@babygurlexa]

I am happy her talent gets to see the world and can help and influence so many people including myself. There are alot of things that I will never be able to put into words but I know I'll be able to find them in her songs!! Everytime Nessa releases a new song it just gets better and I'm absolutely obsessed with all of them! So proud of you Nessa! And thank you for sharing this with us! 🖤✨

[@TuvaLiVirtanen]

I love the meanings behind things. The dizziness when she stands up, the numbers on the scale going up the line- “don’t know how much longer I can keep this down” which could means both the food and the secrets

[@michealaconchas-sanchez9107]

Honestly this girl is amazing I don’t care what y’all say her music is inspiring and she’s always minding her own business I love you Ness! Keep up the good work girl and always remember that you’re beautiful inside and out I can’t wait for this song! 🥺🤍

[@AnnaClara-yf5kl]

the "your lucky that your pretty" hit me hard, I struggle sm with my eating disorder and I get sick of people saying "why are you obsessed your already so pretty I want your body I want to look like you" thank you sm for this song it's litteraly the song I relate to the most

[@Xamerax]

Even my dad told me I was lucky I was naturally thin…. I purged almost every day and starved myself, as If i didn’t easily gain weight if i didn’t..

[@ieatthighs]

YOU ARE*

[@abbig3il]

i’m so proud of her. so glad she’s finally happy and doing what makes her happy. she deserves it after everything she went through. much love to her.

[@firefox7957]

Probably the only ED song I've heard/seen that had nothing that might "trigger" someone with an ED.

[@Tea-zt5jp]

she deserves way more attention she really doesn't know how to make a bad song all bops

[@UrMom-lx5me]

literally so proud of her and how far she’s came. this song will help people. so many people.

[@kayleighhyde-rouse1720]

She's an incredible writer, really talented. At such a young age too, she still has so much time to expand on her talent, she will be an exciting artist to watch.

[@filipkostadinoski2326]

I would give my soul to hear this song again for the first time.

[@redpandagal]

I don’t think I’ve ever related to a song more.. It really hits deep for me. This was so raw and real and I feel like people don’t talk about the pain of ed’s 💔

[@franyelinvidau9647]

My life would be much better if Nessa released songs every day, and it would be much better if Nessa had the support in music that she deserves, this is art

[@breannamiller3525]

Absolutely love this song. Such a masterpiece. Be proud of yourself, Nessa!

[@bibliophile104]

Thanks for making this masterpiece Nessa, a few months ago I had been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and this song really helps, I was in the hospital with nurturing fluids pumped inside my veins, and every 20 min I fainted I past put and threw up, but thankfully I went to dietary therapy and getting better but I almost had to lose my life to finally realize that Beauty comes with a price, Your beautiful just the way you are dont forget that ♥

[@Rem_TC]

IK you said this a year ago but holy hell you are strong that sounds horrifying to go through. I'm super glad your doing better and still alive ❤