Best HFY Reddit Stories: Stubborn Little Apes

Complications of battle!
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/ThatOneDude609
Original Story: / stubborn_little_apes
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@casual_speedrunner1482]

Author here- was wondering why my notifs suddenly blew up on this story! 10/10, I should really get off my lazy ass and work on the next chapter. Excellent work, and thank you for the narration.

[@johnnycampbell3422]

Cool. Well written. Would love to hear more. Best regards

[@FrenchLightningJohn]

oooh i can't wait for the next chapter dude, it was a nice story and liked it

[@marclytle644]

Yes please more.

[@drs4049]

I WHAT MOREEE please

[@liudasmachina113]

@@drs4049 There is an explanation in order WHY NO MOOOOOOOR never say there is more to an addict never. now go write MOOOOOOOOOR me neeeeeeeeed mooooorr. me starting to sound lice my cat :D exelent story exlelently narated bravo

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

"Who uses kinetic munitions?"- "These are some bold words for grid coordinates."

[@jonnypena7651]

Sorry don't got the reference

[@AugustoEL]

@@jonnypena7651 i tjink it just is another version of "bold words for someone withing firing/punching (whathave you) distance".

[@williamh6892]

Basically a forward operator has you in his sights and has called in the yeetus deletes. Dont make him put his coffee down, you won't like it

[@epsome13]

@@williamh6892 a fan of the fat electrician I see

[@epsome13]

Dear grid coordinate " f*** you and every thing on you" sincerely artillery unit

[@shovel662]

“Impossible! How are we being overrun?!” Hooman: “stonks”

[@chubchubsmash6235]

I hate that's actually an accurate assessment of the situation instead of being just a meme.

[@SiegeTF]

Yep, thats what an atry's ammo rack is called.

[@kinologan5074]

God why is it “Stonks”. Like why?

[@tipsy_hog]

The funniest part is that artillery munitions are actually called "stonks"

[@twilighttricksterXXI]

This is both a meme AND a Anti-meme AND a pun AT THE SAME TIME

[@Self-replicating_whatnot]

- "You are primitives" - "B*tch please, we are professionals"

[@captainfraser3827]

Depleted uranium is one hell of a material

[@KroMagnum4]

Drug.

[@GenStallion]

@@KroMagnum4 No thanks.

[@satibel]

@@GenStallion eat the spicy rock.

[@zbijacz07muly]

tungsten is neither softly

[@MaciejowPL]

@@zbijacz07muly Depleted uranium is not only stronger but also, if forged into a knife it will self resharpen, tungsten will not, but Tungsten and Tungsten Carbide are easier and cheaper to obtain

[@toob1979]

Those aliens are really screwed once the humans recover the wreckage of their ships and reverse engineer their FTL drives. "We tried it once your way. Let's try ours."

[@Rhino-Prime]

Laughs in Doon music

[@Kualinar]

Some of the landing ships may even be intact, but without any crew left to flee using them... Then, some of the ships in orbit may not have the minimum crew needed to operate them, and are just sitting ducks waiting to get boarded.

[@robertbemis9800]

Ape throw rock Xeno goes boom

[@joshuafischer684]

Reminds me of the meme "Looks like I just learned how to throw a fucking rock. Fuck your evolutionary arms race, this is my planet now"

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

There's superior technology and then there's knowing how to use it. These guys had military encryption and frequency hopping cracked so that they could listen in on everything we were doing and they still lost. Between that and their starships having to go home for more ammo, this was clearly a case of overconfidence leading to piss poor performance because these guys had never invaded anyone who had put up a fight before.

[@FrenchLightningJohn]

they were used to invade primitive non warrior culture planets that surrendered nearly instantly, so having a true warrior culture like us putting up a fight and have been basically practicing with live rounds between us (wars) they had no chance since the alien had no real training and were basically just betting on their superior tech

[@Kidozy]

@@FrenchLightningJohn AND they landed in NYC. If they had landed in Texas and/or Florida, they would just drop from exiting their landing craft

[@peterfarkas199]

@@Kidozy "We droped to swamp region of this place and from 50 brave men are only 4 left bc of some repitilian creatures that starting to killing us like a flies"

[@siltyclayloam8739]

"these apes must have a thousand" nobody tell him its about 7 times that"

[@SiegeTF]

'Let me sing you the song of my people.' ~ Ranger

[@jeroylenkins1745]

Casevac - abbreviation for casualty evacuation pronounced like Kaz-eevak

[@cameronknox7567]

So, your brilliant plan was to slow drop about 10,000 troops near a city with approximately 1 million inhabitants, several military bases, and a lot of very angry geese? As well as the fact that a good chunk of that population probably knows how to use guns, and could be used as a regulars, if the regular military units don’t curb stomp set 10,000 troops into so much paced. Why do the Zenos never do there research? Also, this is what should’ve happened when the show first made planet fall on earth. From the SSB verse.

[@Wesley-1776]

SSB verse?

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

@@Wesley-1776 I need link

[@greanstreak04]

Cry Havoc and unleash the Geese of War!!!

[@derekstein6193]

@@greanstreak04 I believe that constitutes as a war crime.

[@truekurayami]

Given that New York was name dropped for the location, not nearly as high of a percentage as you would normally think would know how to use guns to act as a militia. Major Gang teritories would be well armed and ready to fight but outside of that I would put at 1 in 50 to 1 in 100 at best for civis that could be conscripted into service.

[@Voron_Aggrav]

Yeah you landed in the Wrong place mate, US Tristate Area, NYC, you're attacking the strongest military on the planet in their back yard, after basically doing a Pearl Harbour, I can't even start Describing just how Badly you just cooked your Goose, And when they're done they'll take all the Lovely new toys that got hand delivered and within a year or two you'll find that we're not just using them but upgraded them as well

[@errorabortretry3694]

Yankee Ingenuity is a beautiful thing.

[@kdrapertrucker]

Well if hey did pick some of the most gun controlled areas of the U.S. so the civilians didn't wipe them out.

[@Voron_Aggrav]

@@kdrapertrucker well, they did land pretty much in the Middle of one of the most heavily armed places in the World with the Navy, Airforce and Army all having bases Very close to it

[@chrisdufresne9359]

If they know about Artillery, why did they stay that tightly packed? I do feel bad for the poor xenos. They had no idea what they were heading for.

[@Voron_Aggrav]

Guess they expected their Armour to hold up, and seeing how they only lost 20% combat effectiveness between the two units I guess it wasn't that unwarranted although still stupid

[@anathardayaldar]

Sounds like overconfidence and complacency. They had such an easy time in previous wars that they got rusty.

[@satibel]

Basically "we come in, scare them, and it works every time" they had training but no combat experience.

[@Heegaherger]

@@anathardayaldar Russian level planning.

[@albernard8751]

More like what was headed towards them.

[@zacharyzier314]

Aliens: Your technology is so primitive. US Army: Yep, it’ll look good hanging on my mantle

[@dimanarinull9122]

Xenos: Trashing Kinetic weapons Humans: Parry this you casuals. actual long range artillery factors in the curvature of the earth and the rotation due to speed and distance being so big.(impacts rivaling meteor hits, and that is without the strapped in explosives) we literally can't travel the stars because we can't sustain life in an enclosed biosphere, the real main reason there is no real "colony" anywhere outside of immediate help/evac distance.

[@wolvarine35]

We can, its just a few early projects failed dramatically due to engineering shortcuts. Like when biodome 2 failed because they didn't let the concrete fully cure before sealing it.

[@dimanarinull9122]

@@wolvarine35 you don't understand things properly. it's not about "biodome 2" failing because of a construction error. it's the fact a construction error broke a stable biosphere with us being unable to correct it. ALL SYSTEMS FAIL sometimes, we need it to be stable enough that when it does fail it can be corrected. a failed biosphere on earth is just going to be repaired, a failed biosphere in space means no oxygen and no food in a couple of days when you have a few months before someone can do anything about it. the "how it failed" is more important to the story than the why, and not knowing that or not showcasing that in your explenation shows you didn't understand why it is important. also, it wasn't the only one to fail in such a way.

[@zupaschnitzel3300]

Hope you'll do the other chapters too, seems like a nice story :)

[@SiegeTF]

How is your post marked as 4 months old?

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

@@SiegeTF HFY playlist occasionally has videos on there that are supposed to be private, and then released later.

[@krimsonsun10]

Patreon members get the videos first.

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

@@krimsonsun10 on Patreon yes. On here the first of a series or a stand alone story I can usually find on the HFY playlist (usually 4) months early.

[@chrissoto7187]

HEAVY METAL 🤘 HEAR THE BEAT OF THE DRUM SHELLS , THE HOWLS OF RAGE ,THE COLD BLAZE OF VENGEANCE!!!

[@alexfranz817]

Casevac is pronounced cas evac. It's short for casualty evac. Specifically it is terminology used when non-medical Personnel are transporting casualties under American Military nomenclature

[@wolfmaster1996]

I like how you still kept "evacuation" shortened when you said what casevac is short for 🤣🤣 not talking shit btw, just funny lol

[@Kidozy]

No wonder why they got ripped apart, they landed in NY. Least they didn't land in Florida, that would just be suicidal

[@groofromtheup5719]

Seems like plenty of larger population centers out there that would be softer targets. Beijing has a cowed citizenry and corupt military only capable of shooting at fish when corupt US politicians visit Tiawan. Western Europe has also disarmed the citizens, but have a skilled military prepped to repell an invasion. Mexico has a military less capable of repelling an invading force, but well armed cartels. The US sounds like the worst place to do a ground invasion like this, that has reasonable population centers.

[@thisexists2927]

florida man go brrrr

[@jesseamaya4413]

Or Texas during deer season....

[@warrendesonia7924]

For The Author - Please Continue.........

[@decimation9780]

Good to see a story emphasizing just how dangerous kinetic weaponry is when your opposition has been dealing with energy weaponry for decades to centuries. Cool, you’ve come up with a bunch of countermeasures to enemy energy weaponry, but you’ve got jack fucking shit to help you against kinetics now, your vehicles are basically made of cardboard, and any shielding you have is completely fucking worthless. In an age where energy weaponry is the norm, kinetic weaponry is the most dangerous thing you can encounter.

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story 🙂☺️

[@Shythalia]

When will these xenos ever learn that it does not matter how primitive or advanced a weapon is so long as it serves its function as a weapon, which is to be used to kill & maim like it's made to?

[@worldcomicsreview354]

"This is the weapon of a conqueror, it is designed to scare the enemy. This is the weapon of a soldier, it is designed to kill the enemy"

[@sundae5284]

@@worldcomicsreview354 stargate?

[@worldcomicsreview354]

@@sundae5284 Yep, paraphrased because it was years ago

[@alexzanderroberts995]

Believe what you want, but physics still hurts

[@bomerdoomer69420]

Second Also can you find a story where two bounty hunter groups join(one human the other not ) and they are terified

[@unclestoma4699]

name?

[@damo169]

So they have interstellar travel and energy weapons but still use radio waves for communication got to say that kinda took me out of the story.

[@groofromtheup5719]

It is very reasonable to assume local communications would remain on the EM spectrum for simicity sake. We also know what frequencies give the best data capacities vs. Signal range. If they are used to just rolling over their enemies, comunications security might actually be a bad thing. If your goal is to intimidate the opposition into surrendering, let them know exactly what is in store for those that resist.

[@crayonchomper1180]

we are the Rage-Filled War Monkeys known as Humanity look upon us and Despair

[@nweasels]

.....infantry formation in the wide fucking open in upstate New York?... I'm surprised they weren't taking harassing fire from the local civvies.

[@nk_3332]

They were, the weird thing about US laws (outside the big cities) it's legal to own black powder artillery. So you too can own a 12 pounder bronze Napoleon. The military was still awaiting orders from Washington and the new rules of engagement. The movie Gettysburg, these cannons were owned by the reenactors who were crewing them.

[@DeUser1337]

... Either they know indirect fire and they use it too, or they don't and don't unterstand what hit them. So to have them call out artillery and not use it (active or in defense (don't stand together)) is lazy writing. Love to writer and reader.

[@alfredsutton4412]

Loved it. Hope reality matches the story line when the time comes. 😮

[@savevsdeath]

Come in peace or leave in pieces.

[@TiernanWilkinson]

Yes we only have projectile weapons but we're pretty *good* at projectile weapons, since we have been since the Neanderthal days.

[@billrich9722]

At this point it seems less to be about humans being somehow special and superior and more about aliens being hilariously incompetent.

[@guyvalentine7258]

I fully agree.

[@mikehickey7383]

Looking forward to the next chapter 👍

[@saparotrob7888]

If the bad guys were west of New York City, how did they cross the Hudson River to that last 500 feet?

[@alextheawesomeable]

oooga booga monke throw rock fast

[@martialme84]

This is crudely written.

[@Grundini91]

Hancock ANGB houses the 174th not the 136th. Source: Live and grew up within 10 miles of there

[@inzyniertv9305]

Krieg: Stonks

[@ShabowSDM]

Sup

[@darksider111]

Nice - Can i have some more please

[@rewmangeorge5957]

Dakka!!!

[@FrenchLightningJohn]

wait sol3A, so we live on the moon? the nomenclature just to say is name of the star in this case sol if more than one you use A and B like for sirius A and sirius B, then the name of the star + number, if they have moon name of the star the number of said planet (for their position) then letter in order if multiple moon like A B C etc. so in this case saying sol3A mean earth's moon

[@blazingpedals]

It makes sense to me. Sol 3 is effectively a double planet, with 'A' being the largest of the two.

[@isaiahpelly8370]

For The Algorithm

[@erikagehm2805]

That's it?

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@CALCIUMDOMINATOR]

Laugh's in artty

[@lr1a704]

300 killed or wounded from 1014 rounds of 155mm HE. Someone shoulda got on the net and said 'repeat'.

[@Netscape-kd6mg]

nah that unit need to go back to target practice. they suck at aiming in the story

[@joey00198]

@@Netscape-kd6mg if you fire enough bullets at the same time in one direction then you dont need aim cus whatever the hell is there is sure to dead.. unless its The Predator.. heh

[@Netscape-kd6mg]

@@joey00198 true true but i still think it's a waste of ammo and they should go back to target practice

[@joey00198]

@@Netscape-kd6mg indeed XD

[@delo1629]

:)

[@chiefsenpai969]

If I may offer some criticism, your voice feels monotonous at times. Especially during the urgent/desperate radio chatter

[@niyanlan8928]

Pleeeeasse slow down your reading - don’t all speak good English

[@Honest_Abe1]

Play the video at 0.75 speed if he speaks too fast

[@sc2_Nightmare]

You can lower the playback speed in the settings (gear/cog icon) of the youtube player.

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

@@Honest_Abe1 I play it at 1.5 lol

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

The sex9nd part should read more like Not everyone speaks English well

[@unclestoma4699]

slow video settings