NEW DECK | Getting ready for spring | Feeling lonely

[@helenanistavlogs]

The days are getting warmer and I'm trying to get my backyard spring-ready... 😉💕

[@justinfager9546]

Fall is right around corner, when it snow here would you like me to share some pics?

[@manuelrex117]

Hi Helena. I myself dealt with loneliness for years mainly because I'm not much of a people person and am not that social so loneliness is something I'm used to. However I still have family, a friend that I've now known in recent years, and a loving girlfriend of 4 years, all of whom I still interact with obviously. I would definitely travel more, do meetups, get out more, or do charity work if I ever wanted to expand my social circle. Don't ever be ashamed of feeling lonely and admitting it, a lot of people go through it I'm sure. It's ultimately up to us to decide if we want to do something about it or not. And at the end of the day you still have your family, friends, and us. All of whom love you very much :)

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot! 😍💕

[@laurenvickers7475]

I can't relate to being lonely because my whole life I've been living in flats where I'm very close to the people next door. The closest I've come to being lonely was when I was on maternity leave earlier this year, and even that I could see my parents and my neighbours every day. But when I went back to work it felt so amazing reuniting with all my coworkers, even the new ones who joined when I was out. Juggling between being a new mother and returning to work wasn't fun, it definitely was physically demanding but everyone was very supportive.

[@helenanistavlogs]

That sounds absolutely wonderful, Lauren. It so important to have a loving and caring community around you 😊💕

[@tomnewham1269]

Hi Helena. As a society, dealing with loneliness is a big problem. And with more people working from home such as yourself, then it is only going to be even a bigger problem. I can definitely relate with what you are saying in regards to feeling lonely as you work from home, no way could I work from home even if I had that option and one of those reasons would be that. I like your idea that you do some work at a cafe but you could also try your local library and since the weather has become warmer, you could try the local park. Thanks for being so open with your vulnerabilities.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you, Tom! Your kind comment means a lot 😊💕

[@stephenfoxall9655]

Helena, such a nice touch to your teaching life. To see you just being domestic and enjoying life. As you say, “It is what it is.” You are just so alive. As a presenter, like a writer, you have so much alone time. Just always feel you are so much appreciated.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much! That really means a lot! 😍💕

[@TSCappuccino]

All hands on deck! I guess I’m kinda lonely, lately I’ve became a chatterbox; whenever I walk in London and read about its hidden gems, I interact with people around me and they get interested.

[@helenanistavlogs]

That's wonderful to hear! 😃 People in Melbourne are very easy to talk to so I've been doing that for years. It really lifts my mood 💕

[@Hawkkaii-ih2ps]

Love your video and sorry you feel lonely, I've also been lonely for a while. Hope you're doing well and having a wonderful weekend.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much! I'm really well and feeling a lot less lonely these days with all my friends around and with different events that I go to 😊💕

[@GlennKaneko]

Joining an outdoor group or hiking group might be a good way to meet others with shared interests. There are probably groups associated with nearby parks. By the way, that piano piece you played at the end was beautiful. You've been practicing.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Totally agree! I love joining local hiking groups 😍 And thank you for noticing that I'm doing better on the piano 😉

[@bradthorson1782]

Great vid! Thanks for your honesty. Running your own business has its rewards but has its downsides, I don't think a lot of people realize how much work it takes. So good that you have friends you keep in touch with. Coffee houses and volunteering are a lifeline for me. I go to coffee joints purely for the social aspect, even if I don't always talk to someone.. It's an expensive habit but worth it for me. I will often take my dog and most of the coffee patrons love petting him. Also, I walk dogs at the local animal rescue shelter several times a week and that gives me a strong sense of contributing to a worthy cause. Plus it's great exercise for me and the dogs!

[@helenanistavlogs]

I love that! Such great ideas 😃💕

[@stevenbligh9187]

The days are definitely getting warmer especially in the UK witch is really unusual for this time of year.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Yes, my sister lives in London and I get all the updates about the warm summer! 😃💕

[@MikePeterson-m3d]

I don't feel lonely but I do feel alone at times. I can work 7 days aweek if I want, l keep my mind busy, listen to music and I have neighbors who always asking for help. I hope you get your deck finished! As a guy would have to put a grill on the deck.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Yes, I hear you, thanks for sharing! And I hope that the neighbours don't get annoying... 😉

[@warriorlove7664]

Dear Helena, thank you so much for your real, authentic, vulnerable and fun videos and topics. I first met you at one of your speed dating events in Melbourne a loooong time ago and came across your channel sometime after that (I'm a fellow Melbournian and leading a similar journey to you). 😇 Loneliness, especially in big capital cities, is something that is on the rise, and unfortunately the associated health issues correlated to missing that sense of belonging and regular human contact is also on the increase. Us humans, we are tribal creatures, and we need our village - it doesn't matter if you are a parent or single, or partnered and child free. Villages, community and connection contributes greatly to well being. I will never forget learning about the 75 year Harvard Study in the field of Positive Psychology that revealed the number one contributor to good health and human longevity is......guess what -"healthy emotional relationships"! It's the number 1 factor (following on from diet, etc etc) - it's obvious but not obvious. There are many more IRL friendship groups being formed out there such as Timeleft and Butter, which is great to see. Wish you all the best in the next step for this particular "lane" in life. And if you ever want to collaborate on a connection project, I will be more than happy to chat (I am an events and marketing professional with a passion for connection😎). Best M 🙂

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for sharing all that, M! And for your kind and caring words 😊💕

[@HelenaNista]

😍🥰

[@helenanistavlogs]

😊💕

[@elijaprice]

I think everybody struggles with loneliness to one degree or another, especially if you are on the more introverted side (which I think maybe you are?). I'd be wary of volunteering with animals, it came be difficult because you will grow to love them. Rescues and things they are the most laudable of human endeavours I think, but you have to be mentally very strong and able to compartmentalise. Have you considered starting a book group? You mention reading a lot, and in a big city like Melbourne I'm sure you could even start a book group about a particular topic to meet like minded people (like, a history book group, or a science fiction book group). Another one is board games - my wife likes board games, she plays on zoom calls with her friends, and occasionally even meets up with them at a 'board game cafe', where I think just anyone can go and be welcome to join in a game.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Yes, I'm an introvert. And all these ideas sound wonderful! Thank you 😃💕

[@peterflitcroft9756]

You hit a few nails on the head there with this blog. Figuratively, not actually, though I am sure you hit a few building your deck. Loneliness seems to be a worldwide problem, especially with the pandemic and deliberately having to avoid people and work from home. I retired when I was 53 and that was something I missed. Not having the routine and the interaction with people. It took a while to adjust. It is possible to be in a relationship and yet still be lonely. I recently met up with a lady I used to know a long time ago. We were never together and we ended up marrying different people. But we go swimming together, or meet for lunch at a garden centre. We talk about the experiences of years ago. Not quite an emotional affair’ ,but not far off. I love watching your blogs. The way you will answer the comments. It’s like when we were young we had ‘pen pals’ who we could write to. I have had the most rotten luck with my health over the last few years , but my friends have helped me get through it. I play with steam engines and old tractors and there is an amazing community of people who I have met through this. And I have started getting back to doing the paddleboarding and wild swimming that I love, and that brings me a whole new set of lovely friends.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for sharing this, Peter! And how amazing about reconnecting with an old friend! 😃 Yes, I value my social circle and my friends deeply. If not for them, I'd feel REALLY lonely! 😉💕

[@muskcoder6367]

Hang in there, you'll push through it. I just figure out things to keep busy.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Yes, I'm similar! Keeping myself busy, particularly with things that I'm passionate about 😊💕

[@andhewonders]

Join a Choir, it's all about Joy, and the musical connection is a whole new level of connection and harmony with people.

[@helenanistavlogs]

I love it, what a great idea! 😍

[@steveszubert]

Rosie says your deck is already perfect, and she also says that being alone (all one) is far, far better than being with the wrong one, so you are already high up on the scale of relationships. I'd definitely recommend charity work (there are so many different things to chose from). I've had nearly 50 different jobs, and by far the most enjoyable and fulfilling ones were the voluntary work that paid just a cup of tea and some biscuits. 🌞 As well as the fun and fulfilment, you meet mostly like-minded people with big hearts. Maybe you could play piano to entertain senior people living in homes, who are unable to get out, but they could enjoy a "tea dance" if someone played piano for them, or play for a children's activity group, or a community theatre group… Be careful if you work with animals … you may end up living with dozens of furry friends who you can't resist adopting (like Brigette Bardot)

[@helenanistavlogs]

So many awesome ideas, thank you, Steve! 😍

[@FrankOdonnell-ej3hd]

it rained here in the US southeast for three straight days and I was so glad when the sun finally came out. Unfortunately it's something like ninety degrees fahrenheit outside so I only go outside when I have to. Hope u don't end up having to pay someone to finish your deck. Wouldn't advise trying to do it yourself either and you probably don't want to even try. Working from home has its own set of challenges but I was thinking maybe you could work from a cafe like J K Rowling did writing her first harry potter book but know that may not be practical. As for loneliness I know it can be close to unbearable at times and it only becomes slightly easier to endure as the years go on. In general it's probably tougher for women than men as women are more dependent on relationships. The way I cope is to keep as busy as possible during the day so I'll be tired enough to get to sleep at night and not dwell on certain sad thoughts. Be well.⚛

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you for sharing this, Frank! I do work from cafes often and really enjoy that environment. People are always lovely and I like not having to prepare my own food... 😉💕

[@kellyharris8298]

Thank you for sharing. I deal with the public so not lonely in that area. However they annoy me with them being self absorbed. That's a long story. Beyond that things can get lonely. And from past experiences I have had that put me in bad relationships. I have However learned to deal better and not sell myself short.. If I was a rich person that didn't have to deal with the public. I think I would seek some kind of vollenteer work. And perhaps seek something that resonates with a spiritual journey as well. I don't know if they have any non denomination spiritual centers there. But if they do you might check it out. Enlightenment can come in all kinds of ways and not involve any religion. I am a spiritual person. Anyway, Thank you for sharing. I get the lonely thing as well. Good luck on you adventures. Kelly

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for sharing this, Kelly. And for your understanding! 😊💕

[@kellyharris8298]

@@helenanistavlogs Yes indeed! We are all in this world together even when we feel alone. And I do understand . And I must say I really enjoy the music you play on your vlogs as well. Take care my friend! Kelly

[@kellyharris8298]

😄

[@dabsafe]

I’ll gladly trade one of my winters for one of yours 😎🇨🇦🎸

[@helenanistavlogs]

Yes, things are pretty good in Australia... 😄💕

[@vtdarryl]

The deck is looking great. Thank-you for your honesty and vulnerability. agreed, I've found outdoor groups a great way to meet people, which got me into hiking. I've just finished some fab hikes in Yosemite. You would be a great advisor/inspiration to media students (ie. Monash Uni Caulfield). PS Great Nordic socks! (I have many pairs)

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much! 😃 And I do love my colourful socks 😄💕

[@LeviW2892w]

Projects don't always work out as planned and you'll appreciate it even more when finished. I'm sad you are feel lonely and completely understand as I work alone and at home for the most part . In the past I've gone to coffee shops too which is nice and a good way to meet people. End of winter is kind of a sad time for some anyway it seems. I'm in the States and the temps have been pretty hot and Im looking forward to fall. I do volunteering and help charities n my spare time. Also, networking with other businesses owners helps too. I have a partner but she is gone for the summer helping other family members so, even though I have a few friends and my work, I get lonesome. There is no one here to share things with on a day to day basis (except for my dog and cat). That being said , I try to stay very busy so as not to have a lot of free time on my hands and think about it much. It's an arrangement we have had for several years and we do what we do for families. For whatever it's worth, in some ways I feel your pain and hope you can have a resolution.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for your understanding and for sharing! It means a lot to hear from other people having similar experiences 😊💕

[@LeviW2892w]

@@helenanistavlogs I also do a lot on social media which helps to stay connected personally and business. People really enjoy my sunrise and sunset pics usually with a positive note about the day. Even in public, they will comment about them. Too bad you can't see them, I know you would enjoy them.

[@paulneave5805]

Hope you soon get your deck finished. Wish I was there as I'm sure I could soon get it finished for you. Sorry to hear that you've been feeling lonely. I'm quite lucky that my hobby helps me with loneliness as I share it with a great group of people. Maybe as you say you could get involved with some charity work of some sort. I continue to enjoy your posts so keep up the good work. Love as always ❤

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for your kind comment, Paul! 😊😊

[@michaelbomyer4361]

Happy birthday! xxx

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you!!! 😍

[@magicslots6768]

hi 👋 helena, the season is turning to autumn 🍁 here at pacific northwest usa, we had a thunder ⛈️⚡ and lightning storm here last night 🌉

[@helenanistavlogs]

Oh wow! I hope that you get to enjoy some more nice weather before it cools down 😊💕

[@dp6003]

Loneliness is what we feel,when we’re searching for inner peace. When we find inner peace,we’re not lonely anymore I hope you find what you are looking for soon

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much! I love the sound of that 😊💕

[@dp6003]

@@helenanistavlogs Patients, all will come together and you will find inner peace

[@alexkasinskas851]

Thanks Helena! Maybe you can meet with other KZbinrs!!

[@helenanistavlogs]

That would be cool! But I don't know of any in Melbourne... 😊💕

[@anthonycook9571]

❤love your videos Helena keep them coming 😘🌹

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thanks, Anthony! 😃💕

[@jamesspalten5977]

Hello, Helena! I understand the deck is not finished but, what you have looks great! You look great on it as well. In the beginning of the video, you said that it gets cold there. I was curious how cold it gets. Hope you have a great day!

[@helenanistavlogs]

Oh thank you so much, James! The temperature can get down to 0 degrees C (32 F) at nighttime 😊

[@jamesspalten5977]

@@helenanistavlogs That's chilly. Born and raised 4th generation Texan. That being said, I lived in Cleveland for 3 years. While I lived there, it was -68°F with the wind chill. Actual temp was about -28°F. One time when I was skiing in Crested Butte in a blizzard, when we left, we spent the night in Gunnison which is the town below in the valley. When we woke up the next morning it was -49°F in Gunnison. It was cold!!! No wind chill, actual temperature!!

[@helenanistavlogs]

@@jamesspalten5977 Oh wow, that's frighteningly cold! 😶

[@jamesspalten5977]

@helenanistavlogs I am an outdoor person. I enjoy being out in whatever type of weather. I have fly fished in Wyoming when it was snowing. I have fly fished on the Texas coast when we got in the boat there was a sheet of ice in the cockpit. I have hunted in Montana in -28°F weather. The weather cannot be controlled. Once I get where I am going, I am going out. Unless it is dangerous. I have good clothing and gear and I know how to dress accordingly. You can always pull off a layer if you have too much on. The only thing that keeps me indoors when I am on a trip is an extreme blizzard or lightning. I work in temperatures over 100°F routinely. The heat is all about the right food and hydration.

[@magorzataniestroj4088]

Ale sprawnie ci poszło skręcenie stołu 👍!

[@helenanistavlogs]

Dzieki! 😃

[@Jessica-June1988]

Your cat doesn't mind your deck is not finished yet....... It is put into use already.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Very true... 😉

[@karolan3488]

💖💖💖

[@helenanistavlogs]

😊😊😊

[@VuyoMatundu]

Spring is coming 😂🔥

[@helenanistavlogs]

It really is!

[@timbodedidleo]

Brain storming some local meet up ideas... Volunteer groups - Animal shelters wildlife rescue (or just pat some lonely cats? ;o) Charity shops. Community gardens. School institutions - Study a subject join a course. Music - learn teach or peform. Australia has lots of clubs for almost every conceivable indoor outdoor activity. Including ex pat centres (Polish clubs? Churches? Language groups) Dancing classes Fittness classes Singing groups Craft Fashion Food

[@helenanistavlogs]

So many ideas! Thanks! 😍

[@timbodedidleo]

@@helenanistavlogs Youre welcome Helena... & I had a couple more ideas too!. It may be resourceful for you to find a good local community centre. One that may offer free or next to free classes (as well as social group meet ups). And this might be a venue for you to consider teaching! It could be what ever you like, for example - Introduction Piano, Introduction Sex and intimacy, even Introduction KZbin blogging skills workshop? Well I don't know exactly what the possibilities are, it may depend on the particular community centre, but within reason I think almost anything goes. For instance, I once attended a meditation class, in a small country Victorian town, which involved simple colouring in book exercises! and I found it very relaxing!! One more thing - you mentioned farms. As you probably know Australia is the birthplace of Permaculture worldwide. Have you ever considered doing a Permaculture Design Course? (PDC) Often these courses happen on farms, and very often with people attending who have their own farms!

[@TSCHANNELSHORTS]

Loneliness is big problem in life.😢

[@helenanistavlogs]

That's so true!

[@larscederberg8564]

" All Hands-on Deck " Loneliness is the biggest emotional issue in the world and it's not easy and it would be nice to have a nice woman in my life, but I accept the fact that it's not easy to find one, but I am not using any dating sites because if there is a woman out there, she will find me also it's good to go to a coffee shop and do your work it makes the work more fun you meet people and interact with others and also go to a sporting event maybe because men loves sports you have to go where they are lol 😀

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thanks for all these great tips, Lars! 😃💕

[@stephenfoxall9655]

Thoughts on charity work. You are such an exuberant person . Perhaps working with people and animals. Perhaps outside. I am a loner, Always have been but somehow good friends have also just turned up. Don’t have an answer other than feel secure in yourself. Know that you are a wonderful person. Probably appreciated by a wide audience.

[@helenanistavlogs]

That's so kind of you to say, Stephen! Thank you 😊💕

[@geomall]

No snow there?

[@helenanistavlogs]

No, we don't get snow in winter 😊

[@geomall]

@@helenanistavlogs so lucky

[@murattoksal3377]

You are so beautiful ❤️

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you!!

[@thinker8107]

What is your height?

[@helenanistavlogs]

164 cm / 5.4 ft 😉

[@gregpas56]

Are you lonely or just tired of being alone?

[@helenanistavlogs]

A bit of both... 😉 But things are looking up! 💕

[@robertkellogg1199]

You need companionship, Helena. Someone who can caress you, hug you on a daily basis, a kiss, and someone who can hold your hand, listen to you, and be affectionate. Someone to show you he loves you as well as tells you frequently. You are a very beautiful lady. We all deserve someone in our lives to ease the pain of loneliness. I can relate at times, but with keeping busy with work, the gym, hobbies, and people I interact with, it helps a lot. But there are times when you are alone and it would help to talk to someone who loves and cares for you. I understand. Keep yourself busy, and in the meantime, ask God to bring someone special in your life permanently. We deserve that, including yourself. ❤😊 ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Robert! And I'm currently dating a wonderful man who is taking a really good care of me... 😊💕

[@robertkellogg1199]

@helenanistavlogs good. 👍I know you are taking care of him, too. ❤️ 💙

[@FrankHartong]

Find a non denominational international church. It changed my life from loneliness and emptiness to fulfilment and a lot of friends!

[@helenanistavlogs]

Oh wow, I love that! 😊💕

[@FrankHartong]

Good luck with your search!

[@adrianluckman-yy7bm]

Join a group of people who have a common interest, this will enrich your life. The crux though is I feel you should seek out a life partner & need to take steps in this direction, whether you do some research & join an on-line dating site or simply become more outgoing to meet people. Friends are hard to make as you get older, but you have to start somewhere.

[@helenanistavlogs]

Thanks, Adrian. I already have an amazing group of friends. And I am dating a wonderful man. So no worries there!... 😉

[@astoriakid41]

@helena Nista. you mentioned taking off your clothes. Well you take them off & i will give you a pedicure. i deal with loneliness but watching concerts on Dvd or youtube. I read alot about music & rock / metal bands*

[@helenanistavlogs]

I do enjoy sunbathing naked in my backyard, this is why having enough privacy here is essential... 😉

[@astoriakid41]

@@helenanistavlogs I would love to see that beautiful image of you sunbathing like that*

[@GabrielGoren-q1f]

Helena, you are such a wonderful person, again daring to share your thoughts and feelings of loneliness with your viewers. How come you are in this 'lonely' situation? I am, of course, sure that you are aware of your HIGH professional values and what an attractive, sensual woman you are. You are a dream of a human being who also happens to be a woman. Show me one real man who would say no, to you, who would not appreciate, love, and hold in admiration. Therefore, I can't understand how come, you, Helena Nista, who gives advice to tens of thousands on relationships and sex, have an apparent personal problem and even ask for opinions/advice on how to beat loneliness. I simply can not understand, but please do not tell me that you do not know how to solve the problem.

[@helenanistavlogs]

I'm sharing about this because it's a problem that affects many people. And don't worry, I've already solved it 😉

[@Steamblade14]

First, can you please explain how seasons work where you are? This is all news to me despite my 30s. Second, invite your friends over to your place on a regular basis. Maybe it’ll grow into a community of your own if you let it.

[@elijaprice]

Southern hemisphere, so seasons are the opposite of northern hemisphere, if that's where you are (summer is december-january time in Australia).

[@mmllgg2471]

I think you need a partner in life’s journey that’s all.

[@helenanistavlogs]

You think wrong... 😉

[@peterflitcroft9756]

You hit a few nails on the head there with this blog. Figuratively, not actually, though I am sure you hit a few building your deck. Loneliness seems to be a worldwide problem, especially with the pandemic and deliberately having to avoid people and work from home. I retired when I was 53 and that was something I missed. Not having the routine and the interaction with people. It took a while to adjust. It is possible to be in a relationship and yet still be lonely. I recently met up with a lady I used to know a long time ago. We were never together and we ended up marrying different people. But we go swimming together, or meet for lunch at a garden centre. We talk about the experiences of years ago. Not quite an emotional affair’ ,but not far off. I love watching your blogs. The way you will answer the comments. It’s like when we were young we had ‘pen pals’ who we could write to. I have had the most rotten luck with my health over the last few years , but my friends have helped me get through it. I play with steam engines and old tractors and there is an amazing community of people who I have met through this. And I have started getting back to doing the paddleboarding and wild swimming that I love, and that brings me a whole new set of lovely friends.

[@peterflitcroft9756]

Think I duplicated this comment. Not sure how that happened. Sorry.

[@helenanistavlogs]

All good, don't worry! 😉