NF - How Could You Leave Us - A Painful View of the Results of Addiction

[@NF4Life]

I think what a lot of us forget is the fact that this song is coming from someone who is still in a lot of pain and anger,it takes time to understand it from the addicts point of veiw.

[@larryverdugo3553]

You’re talking about addiction from an adult’s point of view and understanding Nate is coming from a kids. Kids feel the hurt and abandonment not the causes. You shouldn’t judge his feelings.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

I don't think anyone was judging his feelings. If it came across that way, that's not what was happening.

[@JordanWhibley-u3b]

You’re never in a place to judge unless you have been through it yourself. Ever.

[@HaraQuinn]

i think many forget this song isnt a song about "addiction".. it's a song about a real young boy wondering how could his mother leave him.. no frills.. a voice for the young voiceless who aren't able to think so nuanced yet. that's all i have to really say abt this. "she's addicted, ofc she loved him".. even then, are you sure? how much love? Love is a chemical, after all, just like drugs? and there are so many centers for help, especially for a mother of three who's already in the system. she even got clean before falling off the wagon again. she's responsible for 3 children who witnessed her comings and goings, thats all. they didn't understand the complexities growing up. very black and white emotions during that time before their frontal cortices are made. not all mothers are made to be mothers. mine wasnt. she was 15 and i was an accident. no addictions, no abuse.. but i was severely neglected. thats how i find myself in this song. b/c i now battle with severe abandonment/rejection issues that cultivated into a personality disorder. both my mom and Nate's mom has had a hand in mentally destroying us all to varying degrees. Nate, unironically, grew up the healthiest with music as an outlet instead of following his mothers footsteps despite how much he was kicked as a kid. even despite having his own heavy burdens and disorders now similar to me. again, not an addiction song. a song about a child wondering where his mom is.

[@Stormb1essed]

I frame this kind of writing not as a statement about addicts or addiction, but more of Nate trying to come to terms with his own emotions regarding someone he loves so much but hurt him so severely. Both situations are simultaneous. Yes people that suffer with addiction need compassion and patience, but that’s not Nate’s perspective

[@thomasmacdiarmid8251]

Nate writes about his feelings and perspective, so this expresses the pain of a youngster growing up with an addicted parent who eventually dies of it. And for everyone who has been in that position, it validates their anger and frustration. It is really only incidental that those who are in the mother's position can look at this and see clearly the destruction they are causing.

[@Expressitc]

Yeah, this is a rough one for sure, you guys did well all things considered. As you get to his latest album (others have mentioned), you see how much he grows, both personally and as an artist in regard to his mom. I'll be watching as you guys continue on this journey!

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Thanks for sticking with us!

[@jonathongeorge3093]

Based upon your sympathetic view of the mother's situation & Nate's painful, unapologetic tone towards her, I would suggest taking a very quick detour from the journey to react to "Mama" from his latest album... it won't affect your appreciation for the journey itself, but it shows how much he's grown in the 7 years between the release of the 2 songs. You may remember that, in "Hope", he said "that wasn't a shot mama, I forgive you, I just don't want him to grow up thinking that he'll never be enough". The song "Mama" is a much more mature, enlightened perspective of the trauma he had to deal with, with a much more empathetic & loving tone.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

We're definitely considering it - thanks!

[@georgejetson1379]

Nate saw the addictions passed down to his sisters due to all the trauma caused by his Mom;s choices and he also needed pills for his ocd and panic attacks but is afraid to even take an excedrine due to his fear of addiction... ;)

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

I've heard this is common for family members of people with addictions.

[@Eibbor26]

I believe him and his siblings were taken away from his mom and lived with his grandparents. His Mom Died when he was 18. Think this was 4-5 years after, he later does learn to forgive and view it differently.

[@peggysoutherland1183]

The song that started my Journey of NF. A song I shared with a daughter-in-law who needed to get it together.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

I hope it helped!

[@thereeder5rs]

Clarification. Tommie Profit is his main music producer, and he has another guy who has done all of his music videos. He introduces him in the “Making of the Motto video” video. You can react to that after you watch the “motto” video. Sorry but it’s on the ‘Hope” album.. it will be a while😅

[@svvital2141]

Ultimately, it all comes from NF

[@mistyrussell6997]

I have sympathy for addicts at the same time addiction is a choice! As a child u dont understand addiction. There is help out there & as a parent I will never understand how you don't get that help & change for your child/children.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

I see what you're saying; although I'd say no one actively chooses to be an addict, we just fail to appreciate how small choices will lead to those larger consequences. We totally get the NF point of view; I think since my wife sometimes works with addicts and that led her to have a more mom/addict point of view than most reactors would have, people may be interpreting that as us having no sympathy for NF and his side, which is far from the truth. I agree that people should get help when they can; but knowing what kind of abuse she allowed Nate to experience from her boyfriend(s?) shows she had much deeper issues going on. That's where I really draw the line with behavior that has no excuse.

[@scottralitz42]

Tommy Profit has done music for movies and TV shows. It's a joint effort between the two of them!🤯😥 His parents separated when he was in his tweens, but she ODed right before he graduated highschool. The kids bounced around because of the unhealthy lifestyle she was involved. Sometimes in the during the those years is when a boyfriend physically abused him and one of his sisters. 😢😮 Addiction is a bitch... My dad was an alcoholic and died all alone; the police found him with an emply bottle next to him. We did an intervention, but he never admitted to a problem even after being hospitalized many times!

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

So sorry to hear that about your dad! While I would say there's a certain understanding around here regarding addition (sympathy might be too strong of a word), there's zero tolerance for letting anyone into your life that might abuse your kids. There's simply no excuse for that no matter what kind of addiction you might be going through.

[@peggysoutherland1183]

Nate was 2 weeks from graduation high school when his mom passed.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

So sad...

[@TheJgolfw]

I was 11 last time I saw my Mom. Never seen her sober😢

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

That's so sad. I'm so sorry.

[@TheJgolfw]

@DadDaughtersandDrinks Life is hard for everyone. We can just make the best of it and try to help others!

[@jyoung11jy]

Yes, let us feel bad for the addict. Surely there were no programs, nothing that could be done to try to change the path they were on. Can't believe these children can't get it through their heads that it's not about them. The addict was born that way and had no choice in the matter.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

It's odd how people think you can't have sympathy/empathy for both of them at the same time.

[@Dave_DD4477]

Nate is involved in all aspects of his music and majority of vid ideas are Nate’s. If not all of them (exception is vid for time I think it was. Pretty sure he said was wife’s idea) Nate has a follow up to this song in a way on his new album Hope called Mama

[@Spudeaux]

The videos are NF's ideas. Tommee Profitt just does music production, but does a lot of work form film & TV. NF & Profitt work together on crafting the music and some of the songs are written with the video ideas in mind. The two of them love cinema and it shows in their work.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

A good artist and producer combo is unfortunately more rare than I'd like - but man it works well when they find each other!

[@skater61991]

Glad you picked up on the reference back to mansion where a regret was not calling his mom.

[@JohnM-d1o]

You've already reacted to the song Hope. In the third act of that song his lyrics mention picking up his son, letting him know he's loved and that his son won't have to wait for him by the window but that he loves his mom saying that he forgives her. I love how NF didn't let addictions control his life and how he could express it from his point of view. Love the reaction.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Thank you! We did watch Hope, but without any of the context from his earlier songs (in fact, in the reaction to Real I just posted, we discuss how very little we remember from Hope, at least in relation to earlier songs that we're now experiencing.) I'm sure we'll get it more solidly the next time!

[@KeanF84]

You should definitely do mama next! It’s not really part of the journey and it fits in perfectly after this song!

[@lukem3168]

No no it definitely is a part of the journey. Gotta go through his journey of pain and healing before you get to the outcome of Mama

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Interesting... I'm conflicted on whether to wait or not!

[@KeanF84]

@ it doesnt fall in any order, its actually a good one to listen to after such a sad song. A big pick-me-up

[@lukem3168]

@@DadDaughtersandDrinks his discography is also in order of his own life story. Each album represents the period of his life he’s in. In my opinion, jumping straight to Mama which is on his most recent album, bypasses the process and steps he took to get to the points he makes in Mama

[@peggysoutherland1183]

You will get to hear about this subject again on the HOPE album. He has a song called Mama.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Several people have mentioned that song; there's a good chance we'll take a journey detour and do it next.

[@jeremyrhoades2535]

You might not get many views on this one a lot of people don’t watch this one with every reactor. I don’t watch every reactor who does this song it’s really hard to get through. So that should say something to you. I only watch with the people I actually like. That really is Nate in a studio by himself just talking to his mom. He asked everyone to get out and vented. I agree with the person commented earlier. This is not a commentary on addiction. This is Nate filling really angry and really sad devastated and trying to figure it out. Just remember last album was called HOPE so there’s still some dark ones coming up, but nothing like this. Have no fear it’s mountains and valleys. Next up is Real in fact you should just go do it now because it’ll make you feel better. It’s a hype track and you’ll love it. I like it a lot one of my favorites.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Thank you for sticking with us on the journey! We actually had to break for a couple days for other reasons, but hopefully we'll get to recording Real tonight (which is indeed next on the list for us, depending on whether we take a detour to do Mama next)

[@peggysoutherland1183]

You are right, mentioned in Mansion

[@joshs9157]

Him and patrick Tohill work together for all of his videos.

[@josheddie7622]

Based on your reaction and statements I agree with those who have suggested you detour to listen to Mama off of Hope album.

[@cbs5742]

Do Mama it shows his growth concerning his mom

[@joelstitzer7199]

Yes, the videos are his ideas

[@LukeCongerArmWrestling]

The lady seems to be talking about from the view of someone who went through addiction themselves hurt people and doesn’t want to take responsibility for it. Saying this as a former addict as well.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Not the case, although I can see thinking that. She's a doctor who frequently deals with patients that have addiction issues.

[@LukeCongerArmWrestling]

@@DadDaughtersandDrinksokay thanks for clarifying, that makes more sense now why she seems to be able to emotionally detach from it.

[@stevensimpson8231]

I find her super off putting

[@peggysoutherland1183]

Tommy does movies too

[@georgejetson1379]

Patrick Tohill is Nate's visual partner in crime since All I Have.... That's all I have right now ...;)

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

More than I have ;-)

[@acelcruz222]

🟣🟪🟣🟪🔥🔥 Reaction

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

Purple!! :-)

[@joelstitzer7199]

I’m actually shocked you are on the mom’s side. Not sure how. It’s the parents responsibility to parent. Being an addict is your fault. Saying the kids should be more understanding is mind blogging.

[@DadDaughtersandDrinks]

I don't think there are actually sides in this one. It's possible to feel for everyone in this situation.

[@peggysoutherland1183]

I just wanna Know

[@NF4Life]

You should do Mama next.❤

[@peggysoutherland1183]

Tommie Profett

[@tiffanytibbetts3650]

Stringent? He’s a child

[@jamesmekiney2835]

Sorry this was horrible reaction and not understanding through the eyes of the writer. The adult needs to be the adult. Excuses I can't buy.

[@vigzzyuudt1927]

please react armada-apa kabar sayang. better with ur daughter 🇮🇩

[@martynelson3013]

Always a tough one to listen to. After hundreds of listens I almost made it through dry eyed but... 🩸🗝