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Hey you ever feel like you’re a complete hack of a photographer and all your work is eye poison and you’ll one day die never having made the meaningful photographs you always hoped to? Me neither. I was just curious asking for a friend. But in the year 2022 what is a photographer to do when he’s struggling in a quagmire of his own criticisms, pity, and self-doubt?
Make a KZbin video about it, of course! Why pay for therapy when you can just put your deepest, darkest insecurities on the internet and invite everyone to comment on them? Sounds like a grand idea!
Yep. That’s what this video is about. Me hating my photography and struggling to get over that feeling. Because I do get over it…eventually. I just go through these phases sometimes where I hate my entire body of work and I’m convinced I’m just a big ol’ hack of a photographer that will never create a single photograph that matters. Oh shit, I just had a thought. Maybe the times when I feel good about my photography…maybe THOSE are the phases. And when I hate my work and think I’m a hack…that’s when I’m seeing reality for what it is! Oh dear God…
Oh yeah this video is also about taking a photo of a lawnmower shop using 6x17 Kodak Portra film on my large format Shen-Hao TFC 617-A camera. So, you know, there’s some photography nestled in there between my ramblings about mental health. Yeah good times. Analog photography, large format cameras, and the vague dread of life. That’s a cocktail everyone can enjoy.
So…enjoy!
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