Nightmare Husbands and Looking Inward | You Can Sit With Us Ep. 181

[@lossayyy]

There was an update on the AITA posted on Reddit! "Thank you Reddit for snapping me out of it and opening my eyes. Now off to call my MIL! There probably won’t be any updates, because I don’t believe in sharing all of my marital issues with strangers on the internet, but I’ll have you know that every single person in our circle took my side, and I’ve been in contact with a lawyer." - Thank GOD she's gotten in contact with a lawyer because honestly wtf?!

[@Clear_Night4]

I had to laugh at the second story so I wouldn't rage out. Can you imagine marrying someone, having a shared bank account for mutual expenses, plan and agree to have a baby together and then your partner mails you an invoice? lol that person is feral and unhinged

[@Sal-tm3tp]

You should always have your own personal bank account that is not linked to your partners. That is where you should receive your salary or any money (inheritance etc.) and open a joint account together that is for your life expenses, rent/mortgage, bills etc. they you both put an agreed upon amount into monthly/weekly whatever works based on your salary. If someone is earning a significant amount more than another, you need to agree on amounts that work for each person. Maybe one person is covering the mortgage and the other is doing all the other bills, but you need to agree on a % of your salary that moves into the shared accounts.

[@kylahgabbert127]

To Becky and Keith, satiating and healthy eating doesn't have to be boring!!! Focus on exploring what you're eating as a "carb, fiber, and protein". Meat, veg, and rice is like the most boring version!! Do some indian style bowls, mexican burrito bowls, balanced sandwiches, etc!

[@andrearaia8695]

I cannot believe that young man treating his child’s mother like that. I also had to pay my own medical bills and have never received child support due to them passing away, but I’ve never in my wildest dreams would have accepted someone treating me or my children like that. That’s disgusting. Happy new years guys! Just been able to sit down and listen to some of the podcast. I hope you all are doing well. ❤

[@JappaLou]

At 43:42 when Becky said, "Divorce in a minute" the only thing I could think of was Adele saying, "Divorce, Babe, Divorce" 😂

[@falltowinter]

On unequal gifts - one thing that helps a lot here is agreeing to give experiences rather than physical gifts. Agree on a budget that you can both spend for birthdays/holidays, and stick to that. You might even set up a joint bank account specifically for fun events and travel - contribute to it equitably like Becky was talking about, but once it's in the account, it's both of your event money to celebrate birthdays and holidays together the way you like. It can be small outings like dinner and a movie, or bigger events like a spa weekend away, whatever floats your boat and fits your budget.

[@katlynngriffin7931]

For meal prepping, it also helps me to switch up the grains! I've been obsessed with couscous lately and yes on different sauces! It helps sooo much

[@katlynngriffin7931]

Crockpot recipes also are great and doesn't scare me as much as the instant pot 😂

She needs to charge her husband for the breast milk she makes and rent of the child when they were in her womb.

[@ktkt916]

For the nursery I think he is definitely talking about the nursery charge at the hospital. There is a completely separate fee that is like over $1000 a day for sending the baby to the nursery that was on my bill.

[@ktkt916]

Not that it matters for my answer lol. I would absolutely 1000000% divorce him immediately.

[@maritzai0322]

My mom wouls lock herself in her room for HOURS wrapping gifts and when she was done she'd say "Santa was soooo busy making everyone's gifts so he dropped yours off and asked me to wrap these dor you all." Which, we never bought we were all non Santa believers even though she tried so hard to make us believe. We knew how much she worked to buy us gifts. So now with my nephews we love playing make believe about Santa even though now they're getting older and starting to figure it out.

[@journeyofemily]

i love Maggie’s fit for this episode. love the headband!

[@Sal-tm3tp]

NEVER do second hand carseats. You have no idea if it’s been in an accident, normally if you are in an accident. Carseats are the one item i’d not skimp on and try to get the best quality/tested/rated you can afford

[@ivylasangrienta6093]

I had one, but I got it from a family member I trust. Not sure I'd get one from a stranger.

[@Sal-tm3tp]

@@ivylasangrienta6093 I think that is perfectly fine, you trust them and know it’s history. It’s more because you really don’t know if someone is being scammy or if they really don’t know the safety impact. I did a carseat installation cause in a previous job and that was one of the main points that said. My main thing is, a carseat you are putting the trust in that product to protect your child, as mostly accidents are out of your control. So you should invest the best way you can to ensure your comfortable.

[@jennyonthecoast]

The person you marry and have kids with can greatly affect the quality of your life and future. Pick well....

[@laura51085]

i was in a similar situation to the woman. i moved to Sardinia to be with my boyfriend, left all my friends behind in Verona, my family in England, and Sardinia is extremely isolated and rural. a few months after moving there i fell and broke my wrist. i knew it was broken, and there isn't any public transport or taxi's or ubers here, and i couldn't drive myself because of the broken wrist. He refused to drive me to the hospital 45 minutes away because he said it was far away and he had things to do and it was my own fault for falling and breaking my wrist. i begged him crying in pain for 4 hours to take me to the hospital. He only eventually took me when i tried to call an ambulance and his mother to tell her that he wasn't taking me. And that's only because it really hurts him when people have a negative opinion of him. He took me, not even into the carpark at the entrance of A&E, but dropped me off on a street near it and didn't even wait for me. i should have left him then, but i didn't. He also did other stuff that's low-key abusive and maybe the same happened with that woman, that it's been low-key abusive and very subtle, you don't realise it's happening. Especially tough to leave when they've taken all of your money and isolated you. 😢

[@CHRYSSIBOO]

So I admit I haven't watched in a while but I am binge watching the last two months of episodes.

[@watermelon1112]

In our family, Santa gave a group gift and the stockings, while the rest was from our parents. The group gift was generally a box of crafting supplies, games, etc. Things we could all use together. I plan to do a similar thing with my son, since there are many kids whos families can't afford much for Christmas. Saying Santa brings them expensive things, will make other kids question why they didnt get the same things from Santa. I don't want any kid to feel like Santa plays favorites.

[@thahighestgiggler]

Every Christmas eve we'd be matching Christmas pj's and a Christmas vacation movie! I'll pass it on. It just felt....warm

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

i’m a big fan of that! i don’t feel like santa has to be a huge part of the gift portion of christmas; i’ve always felt like his role is to make the season feel magical

[@KimbiW]

I’ve read about a lot of men changing after having a baby…for the worse. So it’s not always easy to sniff about the shitty men

[@hcgmelony]

She should itemize a bill for him. He needs to pay to rent that uterus. For 9 whole months seems a bit more than 8 grand

[@mamapoohbr]

The 2nd story...The husband should be hooked up to the labor machine for 19 hrs and have to deal with it all. How terrible for the OP.

[@songstar05]

She was in labor for *38 hours*! 24 hours unmedicated and 14 more after the epidural. He should have to go through someone attempting to catheterize him for 38 hours while being shocked with a cattle prod.

[@dsch2000]

Agree, the violence i feel toward that man is insane😡

[@simonsaysism]

My theory on the aita - if it wasn't just made-up ragebait, that is - is that the guy was successfully covering up a gambling addiction for a long time, until this hospital bill came out higher than expected and he doesn't have the savings to pay it, so he has to find some way out of it or else admit to his secret

[@lostintranslation8550]

You guys look incredible! very insightful episode

[@Sakana_Ren]

Moral: Adulting is hard. I'm wondering what their relationship was like before the baby. Was he the perfect gentleman, then turned after the baby was born. Or, were there warning signs that she had missed, when they were dating. >.>

[@jdp486]

Sounds to me like you're saying she should have known. The problem lies with him, not her.

[@Sakana_Ren]

@@jdp486 Too bad we only hear her side of the story. I'm certain it would be even more apparent, if he included his perspective on the entire matter. *sighs*

[@Dzaeli]

I was SO convinced Santa was real for the longest time because allllll the expensive gifts were from Santa, and my parents would save up a lot and tell us we couldn't afford things but get them for Christmas, so I was like there's just no way my parents could've bought all that.

[@sarahlagos3269]

I would like to point out, the married couple in the last story, OP said shes 32 and that theyve been in a relationship for 14 years. She was only 18 when they got together. Most partners at that age are not marriage material!

[@kabean09]

Becky was wrong about the nursery thing (not that I'm defending that jerkface husband who didn't want to pay the hospital bill!), but the nursery fee in the hospital is a thing. It's a place for the baby to be taken care of temporarily by the nurses so the new parents can get some sleep.

[@maritzai0322]

There are some deranged men out there who snap when their wives start having babies..I just hope she is safe and away from him. He sounds like the beginning of a true crime story.

[@whereyoubean]

Finished Trypod ep. 5 and now I’m here 😄

[@_xMC]

eff that. get that alimony and child support. this dude sounds completely unreasonable and not good overall. that's a pretty crazy situation. i'm so sorry you're going through that.

[@JaedynCassidy14]

I loved your discussion about the AITA story! You should have Morgan Ashber from Two Hot Takes on the pod to bring you some others ❤ it would be my dream collab

[@madisonmejia2304]

I just discovered hummus pizza and i love it! Just buy canned refidgerated pizza dough and put hummus on top instead of red sauce and then whatever veggies and cheese toppings you want and toss it in the oven 🥰

[@michellemarlin1424]

Not Becky confusing Joan Allen and Jessica Lange😭

[@thahighestgiggler]

I miss Jessica Lang :( I hope she's living life well

[@msbbdarling1328]

Guy who wants to charge his wife for everything pregnancy/baby related honestly sounds hella misogynistic to me. What the hell did I just listen to. :0 Shook

[@mariaarossaa]

first story is insane, i don't know if i would've known how to react in the moment

[@brandeerodriguez8536]

Jessica Lange is not the Mom in The Notebook lol

[@janellet8003]

I love trolls 2 the best .

[@aristar9902]

I love the stark difference between fidgeting people and statues 😂

[@cheerman1]

The colors is olive

[@anamikabhattacharjee6176]

Becky try soups!

[@marelizeels6182]

Wait what I am first!!!! well that just makes working late so much better

[@Clear_Night4]

How cheap did the male creature in the second story think having a baby was? does he have the world knowledge of a toddler? was he honestly thinking having a baby was going to be like a car payment ?!

[@dianepettigrew9211]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@KyndraBarroga]

It sounds like he is broke or out of money.

[@sunnymeowcat]

😯😲

[@Ashley-ir2xj]

Not supporting any company who is not speaking out about Palestine. I know they are on an individual level, but that is not enough 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[@Sg-de9wo]

Clearly you don't follow their social media.

[@campsiemaynor9293]

there is probably legal restrictions on the company platform.

[@RogueVideoRaven]

Who supports Palestine on their social media? I’m not seeing anything on their Instagrams

[@Ashley-ir2xj]

@@Sg-de9wo I do/ did! Which is why I said I know they are speaking about it on an INDIVIDUAL level. But that is not enough

[@Ashley-ir2xj]

@@campsiemaynor9293 valid, but I said what I said

[@noemartinez8997]

This was click bait for me, I thought they were gonna talk about Ned. I still liked the podcast though

[@SanskarWagley]

Why would they? Ariel is still their friend, and she’s still married to Ned

[@hiVanderLinden]

😂