Confronting my best friend about my eating disorder.

[@adelainescameraroll]

GIRLS SUPPORTING GIRLS!!💛💛💛💛

[@elizabethmendoza6277]

Adelaines Camera Roll frls 👌

[@fortuneyaz5148]

Adelaines Camera Roll LOVE U AND UR NEW LINE U INSPIRE ME SOLO MUCH

[@NH-th9oh]

I’m a girl supporting a girl (you)! Love you Yellow Queen!!!!!!!!💛💛

[@careese9606]

Adelaines Camera Roll Hahaha ikr 💛

[@maryloves333]

YES ADDY

[@emilydupuis311]

“The majority of the people don’t even know they have an eating disorder” really put it into perspective...

[@perlavv2070]

RainieAteTheChips xX some people just do it out of habit. They refuse to understand that they have a problem

[@laurenfay3700]

Emily Dupuis that was me before I got clinically diagnosed

[@alealulu5141]

The last 2 weeks I’ve been struggling with my body. I know that I’m perfectly healthy, but that doesn’t make me happy. I’ve been skipping a few meals and no snacks and if I ate It would be not much. Is that considered an eating disorder at 2 weeks? I really don’t want to become anorexoius that is so scary.

[@taylah8820]

ale Alulu I completely understand I’m starting to do this too!

[@laurenfay3700]

ale Alulu I am not a phsychogist but I have anorexia and that is what I did before anyone new about it. The best thing to do is speak to someone. I know it is scary because I couldn’t even say it, I just had to right it down to my parents. If u don’t want to talk to your parents about it then maybe a friend or sibling or a doctor. I think it is best to get support as soon as possible so that it doesn’t become a too unhealthy habit and it doesn’t spiral to a place where I am today. If u don’t want to speak to anyone, there are websites like beat and mind that can help people struggling with eating and body issues. I don’t wanna scare u and I don’t want to make things worse, I just don’t want anyone to get to a place like I am. If u need someone to talk to I am here and Ik I am just a random account that has never met u but I understand what it is like x

[@remitherat9796]

I love how careful Alisha is. Just look at the way she is trying not to trigger Niki. I'm sorry that you had to go through this, ik the pain, still not over it, recovery is hard. Love you ❤️

[@dawnmarie4766]

Remi the rat I was thinking exactly this 👌🏼💕

[@tiffanyroseangeles7517]

Alisha could seriously drop out of YT & become a therapist she really is a fab at the necessary qualities so empathetic great listener ( careful with her words) rare in a simple YT only girl)

[@esmemyers]

hey remi, i dont know if you will see this, but its been two years since you posted this comment. I'm really hoping you feel that you have fully recovered, im hoping your healthy,and thriving. But if you are in a bad place, i have even more hope in you that you can get through it. I love you and you are so strong.

[@kelseeblakeslee7373]

I hate how people say “you’ve changed”. People act like change is bad. It’s normal to change over time. It’s important to change and mature and really find what you love.

[@leahfrye8708]

Kelsee Blakeslee yea

[@bengalisabr]

"You need to love yourself more than the idea of being skinny." Epic.

[@madelynn5210]

Niki sounded so inspirational saying that I replied that part so many times

[@strangebeauty2]

Exactly!!! Even if it's hard to do so...

[@Courtney_Lauren]

I use to get so sad with how my body looked but now I come to the realization that I will never be skinny but I will be healthy and happy in my curvy body.

[@jessiepaege]

I love my big sister

[@macey2326]

queens supporting queens

[@melaniek3018]

Love you Jessie ! ❤️

[@shaylagrace451]

💙💙💙💙💙

[@emily-fk6vi]

jessiepaege GIRLS SUPPORTING GIRLS 💖

[@itoreolorunda]

jessiepaege so glad you were on her show ❤️ and we are so proud of you for coming out

[@kaylabrown9540]

Niki & Alisha's friendship is one of my favorites here on youtube.

[@BrookeKButler]

we all need an alisha in our lives

[@alisha-chiaraklein54]

Brooke Butler well here I am...ok bad joke ...sorry. but I really do feel the need to talk about this with Niki. I have struggled with a eating disorder as well.

[@mariakara2419]

yes i agree!! also OMGG your name. ☺️

[@teodora.k]

That is right👍👍👍

[@Emily-fq7vb]

Facts right there

[@yeltaysaccount2335]

Not all Alisha’s We need Alisha Marie

[@engyhamdy5442]

this video is SO important and shows that you don't know what people go through behind the scenes

[@nataliesoutlet]

Niki, so proud of you! This is what the internet is for. Sharing your story and inspiring others. Again so proud of you woman! ❤️✨

[@chikomoto3018]

Natalies Outlet heyyyy

[@lizbethvaldez4745]

Yess you are so right it’s so hard to record yourself and talking about something that very hard to talk about so proud of you and I’m pretty sure a lot of people are so inspired and you are not alone 💙💙💙

[@chisahasegawa8789]

Natalies Outlet j it k

[@sophiekennedy9200]

I love both of your channels

[@yoselinluna2073]

Umm hi umm I'm a big fan I always listen to what you have to say and Iv asked a couple times to notice me pls i love you so much not to be creepy love ya😘

[@SoftSpokenSpooks23]

" I couldn't admit it to you, because I couldn't admit it to myself." That hit me...

[@gracemez1303]

...

[@madalynseefeldt7712]

"i was on both sides, and i wasn't happy on either" that hit different

[@nadiaaaaa]

I guess, for those of us who stayed, we never lost authentic Niki from our sight. We always saw that sparkle, maybe sometimes it was small, some others it was bigger... But you're awesome Niki ❤️❤️❤️

[@kennedyweech552]

alisha did so well in this situation. she was so sweet and didn’t push Nikki too much

[@kaylabrown9540]

I'm only 5 minutes in and I'm in tears. The fact that you are being so open and vulnerable about your story to millions of fans (and sadly also haters) is so brave. Using your platform as a youtuber to speak on something so important is why you're such a great role model.

[@oliviaellison8273]

OMG SAME

[@Mar-xs3hg]

I love that so many people are speaking up about mental illness, beauty standards, social issues, etc. 2018 is the year of girls supporting girls, as someone who at one point only ate 700 cal a day + exercising and barely sleeping, this is really important to talk about

[@LeeAnnCarpenter]

shoutout to alisha for handling this so well

[@tiahunter2085]

Being beautiful isn’t being thin, being beautiful is being happy

[@bedicineuwu8041]

Tia Hunter so inspirational

[@sis-2010]

Beautiful is being happy and healthy, not being thin. 100% the saying ‘being thin means being healthy’ needs to go!

[@jazlynjanai1686]

I remember when Teala was vlogging behind the scenes of Niki and Gabi "First" video with all their friends, and Teala said Niki looked good. And Niki replied saying "thanks it called a breakup". It so sad to think that was happening.

[@bekka7128]

who did she break up with?

[@mep1324]

R. her old boyfriend jerry. he had cheated on her while she was on tour and then he broke up with her over text message. I think he’s engaged now though so they’re both happy!!

[@alyssamarie3142]

I'm recovering from anorexia nervosa right now and it is so hard. I love seeing such a big influencer talk about these struggles!

[@רוניאמריליו]

Im here for you

[@sierra5949]

Stay strong ♡ I've recovered, it is possible! ♡

[@fox_6174]

I know you commented this 3 months ago but I hope you're still doing well! You got this ❤️

[@kaystables6431]

I'm also struggling from anorexia. I've struggled with it for 5 years. I'm trying to recover now and I have to say eating again is the best thing I ever did..... my Instagram is OhLookItsKayxox if anyone needs to talk! WE CAN DO THIS!

[@em8817]

Alyissa, I have been through the same thing. I really hope your doing okay!

[@SoniaDoubleG]

I am so proud of you for opening up...

[@mirnakmartinez]

You never know what people are really going through. Everyone has their own story. You’re so brave for speaking about this.

[@ih4222]

i want a friend like alisha she seems to be a really good listener

[@manarsaif659]

sm ile I’m a great listener I swear but i don’t think my friends appreciate it.

[@mehakgillofficial3618]

If alisha was my friend she would regret listening to me about food

[@miasimone6723]

Manar Saif my friend betrayed me.. you can be my friend

[@christinewanjiru9918]

Thank God for that ,wished i had a friend rn we hear each other out for once

[@aleyshbasidik6746]

sm ile yes she seemed so chill and so like calming to niki

[@hundps]

" you have to love yourself more then you love the idea of being skinny " - Niki DeMar

[@Kell1010]

I never comment on KZbin videos but needed to on this. I love love love love how this was filmed and edited and everything about it. The message is amazing. You’re amazing and so strong! I love that you’re showing your journey and actually going through it and just making a step forward to better yourself. So raw and real. Best of luck to you and your recovery! You got this, keep on doing your best. Lots of love girls supporting girls💛 shout out Adelaine and Alisha

[@katiek223]

Seeing Niki so skinny especially as a social media influencer made me feel bad about my own body. But this video showed me that everyone struggles. I am so proud of you Niki for speaking up about it. Thank you.

[@alyssawoods3862]

Awe I broke when you said, " I wish I could give myself a hug" and started tearing up oooofff

[@Lifeasirenellcee]

This video made me love Niki more. She’s so beautiful and brave and I’m so proud of her. I really wish her the best ❤️

[@harshitarathoreace]

I always thought "when I'll lose weight I'll be happy" "when my acne clear up I'll be happy" "when I'll look pretty I'll be happy" now after watching this video Ive realised, I can never be happy if I am not grateful, I just need to accept myself because life must go on and being happy in the future is useless. I have to be happy in the present. Coz thats what I have. Thank you Niki.

[@YellowAquaRose]

Harshita Rathore same! Now I have everything I wanted but I still have many days I’m not happy

[@lilah7302]

Harshita Rathore this is so true. Life is way too short to worry about your appearance. If you spend your whole life trying to make yourself “perfect” you’ll have no life left to live. 💓

[@brianna4736]

Im loving these recent videos. They feel so real and like youre not pressuring yourself to put on a persona and its really beautiful seeing the real side of you

[@dalea8139]

brianna BLINKS💖💕💘💞💗

[@krishnajean-louis5075]

brianna I agree I am loving it too she is awesome and so beautiful inside out.

[@avirocks9]

As someone currently dealing with an ed, this video is really important to me. Niki is already an idol to me, and to see her be so courageous and open up like this means a lot.

[@avirocks9]

thekittens roar thank you

[@Peachgguk-tz6yb]

Goodluck! It’s going to be a tough journey but as a person that’s gone through that, I’m wishing you the best💛

[@neimafogel139]

Good luck 👍🏼

[@SJMusicOnDemand]

Truly hope and pray that you are better and well! God places us in these hardships, but you will get out of it stronger. You are beautiful and amazing, TRULY, and strong within yourself. the most important thing is to be healthy. Start the healing process inside and out, and you will be so happy, in love. Talk to those that bring you joy and love. God bless always!!!! Always here!! ❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@avirocks9]

SJMusicOnDemand thank you so much. That comment really gave me chills. You are an incredible person. Much love for you.

[@pochiseguel]

I don't watch either of your channels very frequently, but this video is SO important. I don't even have an eating disorder but hearing you say all those things about being on both sides of the weight spectrum made me realize so so many things i didn't even think about. Thank you so much for this! 💗

[@JordanWalshyt]

*You are so strong. My sister had an eating disorder and it was so hard for our entire family. You are so beautiful and so strong. I am always here for you as all of your subscribers are. Love you*

[@shawnal5629]

Jordan Walsh I’m subscribed to you I love you

[@Fatimahg3922]

Jordan Walsh GodBless you ☺️

[@Missmagazinebura]

Aww . I feel you. I have an eating disorder too but it’s on and off. I have to take tums for it and can’t eat and drink Certain things because I feel like I will puke. I hope they get the help they need.

[@AmericaKeJhameleYoMaTV]

sharing your story is going to help so many people - thank you for being confident and strong and telling this. we need more truthful & open content like this on KZbin ❤️ let's take our struggles and turn them into positive by helping people ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@taanvvii]

QuincieandCandice yes we need more videos like this on youtube ❤️

[@minni5718]

You er soooo inspiering, I love you❤️❤️❤️

[@abbie_jane]

QuincieandCandice I love you guys!! That is so true youtube and you tubers should open up more (not everything though)

[@juliettepage]

Yes,so true!

[@madicakes2707]

Love u Quincie and Candice and I totally agree

[@paigeyp6381]

"I don't know what normal is" is so true, I have been suffering with an eating disorder for 2 years now and it's so hard because I don't even remember how I used to eat when I was healthy. When I do eat healthy I feel guilty bc mind mind tells me I have been eating too much. When I eat little, I am happy because I know I played the game and got through the day without over eating.

[@laurapatricia8775]

“you’re not gonna love yourself if you just look for love externally” this is so true!

[@Cookiemarie111]

I love how you guys are being nice and listening to each other, that's a good friendship especially since you are supporting each other no matter what.

[@gingerwitch433]

Alisha doesn’t have one bad thing in her soul

[@arelimontes7905]

So true

[@basicbrooklyn7565]

I would love to have an “Alisha” as a friend. I feel like many times I needed that friend in my life to say something instead of walking away. Still to this day I question what did I do wrong. Why don’t I have any friend that is still here???... but honestly I’ve just got to learn to love myself because at the end of the day I’m the only person I have that will be here.

[@mcgil8891]

Brooklyn Walker Aww

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

Awww:) Niki is here for you!!!xx I am also here for you

[@zoeydowling5800]

I would love to have a friend

[@wonderful543]

I literally have been crying about the same reason. I was ditched 3 times by someone. A friend and that brought my eating disorder triggers. I kept thinking about what is wrong with me where I can't have a solid friend. Clearly im not worth it and not good enough. Can't get relationship either. I just suck. I have been fighting soo hard!!! To not purge and i just need to feel the relief of purging so bad!!! 😥😢😥😥😥😢

[@vip5hawol-deehirota]

Man, I feel this too much :'L Take care ♡

[@Nicolettaxo]

you are both beautiful souls! we will forever support you niki this is such an amazing message and you are a strong woman for sharing this to your platform it will help so many people out there

[@0055doni]

is is weird that I think that Alisha has great questions? Like she really listens and cares, such a nice bestfriend

[@cara_alexis]

0055doni how is that weird?

[@0055doni]

+Cara Pacheco Cause Thats not where the focus is. They are talking about Niki and her eating disorder. Yet Im all about alisha

[@KarinaBarboza]

I respect so much Niki and she is pretty and strong and brave so that she could of upload this video. But is weird the way Alisha asked the question I feel like the production told her what to ask her, am I the only one? And is not like I hate Alisha cause she is my favorite KZbinr and I been her subscriber since her pink room but still like idk it’s weird hahaha I love both of them tho

[@crustyhailey]

She is a really good friend❤️

[@rcroadrunner]

0055doni nope it's not weird

[@princesspenguin3655]

I am so glad that you have finally found your voice and gotten your light back. I can't explain to you how proud we all are of you. You have come so far in so many ways. You are absolutely gorgeous thick or thin. I just want you to be healthy and happy. The pain you went through is not fair in any way. No one should have to feel that. You have always been beautiful, sweetie. Your glow is finally back and you are so incredibly inspiring and brave for this. The courage this took was an immense amount and you honestly have nothing to be ashamed of. You lost yourself, yes. But then, even after your weakest and darkest times fell upon you, you pulled yourself out of it. You did it, Niki. You are so very strong. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable and heartbreaking story with us. We are with you every step of the way💙💙💙💙 Love you💙

[@Angel-gh6rr]

“i’ve been on both sides and i wasn’t happy either way”

[@LadyScarlett]

KZbinrs are REAL PEOPLE guys!

[@darinsoliman2462]

Lady Scarlett duh !!!!

[@valdejajean3742]

Lady Scarlett true true

[@arelymoreno8460]

Lady Scarlett no shit dumb bitch

[@audreymallette8955]

arely Moreno that was really uncalled for

[@shayita]

Lady Scarlett well most of them are

[@KylieMaples]

Nikki we love you so much. I'm so sorry you felt alone throughout this year. I'm happy you and Alisha are getting closer again

[@cold.raviolis]

"I'm finally not the fat twin anymore. Why can't people be happy for me?!" I can relate so much it hurts

[@furaances]

I hate when I hear people tell someone they look amazing after they lose weight. Both my mother, my sister, and myself struggle with eating disorders. Unfortunately, eating disorders are very genetic. Like with you, the compliments can really start a giant spiral that is horrible to experience and watch. After I had wisdom teeth removed around Christmas, and lost weight because of that and stress from my university finals and family shit, an aunt asked if I lost weight. I hesitated and said yes, and then she said I looked amazing. And I tried to say no it wasn’t amazing because this aunt knew my family’s experience with eating disorders and she knew not to say anything, I was sick and it was not a healthy weight loss, but she just said I looked really good and walked away. And then I went and cried in the living room lol. We need to change the mentality that any weight loss is immediately something to praise someone for.

[@ashleyashleym2969]

Its hard though, because most people are severely overweight and desperately need to lose weight. When you see someone lose weight, most of the time it is a good thing, even if it was done in an unhealthy fashion, a lot of people are that fat that they need to lose weight and it doesn't really matter in which manner they do it, as they will be better off health wise even if it was done in an unhealthy fashion. For instance my sister is very obese and so is my mother. If they lost weight, of course I would praise them for it. It's so sad to see someone actively dying because over eating.

[@shaynicz6801]

Ashley ASHLEYM I’m technically “overweight” but I’ve been in and out of the hospital from my liver and kidney failing because I starve myself.. I’ve lost 65 lbs in 5 months. I have what is called atypical Anorexia, if you looked at me you’d think I’m “unhealthy” because I’m bigger, but I’m unhealthy because my body has literally stopped functioning correctly on and off... I look bigger than I am because I have a lot of loose skin from losing weight so fast and unhealthily.. You never know what is actually going on with someone.

[@giannazwanziger4192]

How r u guys now

[@giannazwanziger4192]

@@shaynicz6801 how r u?

[@bellaleon3206]

i have a really toxic mentality. i get hungry and eat, but there have been so many days where i don’t wanna eat, or i’ll wait until 8pm to finally eat, because so many of my friends and celebrity idols seem to have the perfect body, and it’s something i obsess over to the point where i have friends tell me that i NEED to eat. it’s bad and it’s hard to find a happy medium and to be healthy because everytime i eat something that’s not the healthiest i feel guilt and hate myself for it and at the end of the day and i need to ofc be healthy, but i need to happy with the way the lord made me

[@SimplyFreshdew]

i NEED an Alisha in my life ... gasssh she’s sooo understanding 😭😭💗

[@danielagonzalezburgoa6170]

Wow, this is so real and special, this helped me a lot, you have no idea, it’s that kind of stuff that you need to know without knowing you need to. You’re an inspiration ♥️

[@LoveFinds]

Alisha was great at pushing you to be more specific but being attentive/kind as well. Thanks for being so open! I hope you also know that if you and your boy happen break up you’ll be just fine. Your happiness doesn’t depend on him 💛

[@allissondisney4737]

OurLittleSecretYT it’s Alisha

[@naveahwatts471]

OurLittleSecretYT Alisha

[@tiffanywang2951]

*Alisha

[@aliyahjoseph8978]

alisha

[@saxman1028]

OurLittleSecretYT I agree with you 100🙂

[@ireneesperante8137]

SO BRAVE for doing this! Thank you so much

[@faeriys777]

this is so powerful ❤ we love you Niki

[@shiloh8610]

Alisha is the kind of understanding and mature friend that everyone needs!! Love her!!!!

[@aisha1281]

Shiloh Gabrielle I wish my best friend was like this,I cried watching this because it brought me back to sixth grade and being so sad about being chubbier and my best friend literally was telling me how big I was and teasing me when I ate in front of her so it ended up with me eating so little just so she would be ok with me and not teasing me and them in the middle of the night going to kitchen and eat more than I would have if I ate normally...now I just finished eight grade and I lost so if weight and I feel happy because I actually started losing weight when I didn't think about it and few days ago that friend mom made a compliment telling me how good I look and she was there and literally I just send her a photo of me eating chocolate and she told me her mother is going blind and she notices it that day when she told me I looked good and lost weight and that I haven't.I don't know what to do because she is super skinny and obsessed with what she eats and every time I think I look she bring my confidence down and I feel like I am not good enough...(sorry for long comment I hope somebody will read it and give me some advice❤️)

[@aisha1281]

I have so many spelling mistakes but I really wanted this to come from the heart so it doesn't matter

[@mekkk]

This probably took so much courage to film and post and I'm so proud of you for this💛

[@lucysmart6472]

mekkk ayy I love your channel🤗

[@yosr5090]

I have dehumanized you for the longest time and looked at you through this judgmental filter just because you're a youtuber. This video showed me how similar we are and just how.. human you are. And i am so so genuinely sorry. You may never see this but thank you for posting this video, it honestly gave me a wake up call on so many levels. ❤❤❤❤❤❤ With utmost respect, Rosy

[@skylarbrittanyx]

i haven’t even gotten through the video yet and i‘m ready to cry because i’m so thankful you’re willing to share this with us. i’ve been dealing with an eating problem for the past couple years and i feel like no one wants to talk about it on youtube when we can all be there for each other. i’m here for you and never forget what we go through only will make us stronger at the end. i love you. ❤️

[@annagracedamico]

Skylar Brittany stay strong!! i believe in you!!

[@tie2481]

i feel like i’ve never seen alisha like this

[@cypresskay4488]

tayietu g wym??

[@tie2481]

Cypress- like all serious

[@cypresskay4488]

ohhh yeah I gotcha she’s just a really good listener that may be why lol

[@krisacake]

I have an eating disorder (emotional/binge eating) and everything is spot on. Right now I'm at my lowest point (and heaviest weight) I've ever been. I'm starting the recovery process and it's really hard. I haven't really talked about it with anyone because they just don't get how hard it is. You are so lucky to have a friend like Alisha. Someone who will listen to you and help you out. I would do anything to have friends like that.

[@bethanydavis9355]

Mystic LunarFox I'm so sorry. I will pray for you.😟🙂

[@Sophie-dg7mm]

I would listen to you. I’ve never been through this but I’ve thought about it many times a few years ago xxx reply if you need someone to talk to

[@gippygamer1844]

Sorry I hope you get better stay strong ❤️🙏

[@hanmartina587]

I am going through the same thing, I’m here for you. I only reached out for help last week and I still binge because I’m nervous and anxious on the wait of getting my help like when will I receive an appointment? The anxiousness gets to me but once I start my recovery treatment I know it’ll be uncovered that my ed was always against me not for me. If you ever need to talk I’m here don’t be afraid to get help either x

[@melaniadelia7763]

I am here for you boo. I’ve been going and still fighting becaouse of the same thing. I am not at my highest weight anymore, but I still feel like my aproach to this is not the best and I am begining to find balance. If you want to talk about this, my insta is @_naturemission

[@maryedith5746]

"find people who will support you when you cant support you" dang..that hit me hard

[@lizzykoenig5840]

thank you for this, Niki. I’m really scared about Meredith foster, Jessie Paege, and Eugenia Cooney. I know Jessie is naturally skinny but lately she’s been losing a lot of weight. and I think the fact that they avoid this topic scares me even more :( Also-please stop coming at me saying I don’t know what I’m talking about or I’m just assuming things. I struggled with an ED myself and some of these amazing people are showing both behavioral and physical signs of an eating disorder. I think Jessie’s weight loss is caused by her anxiety but I’m still concerned :(

[@ayyitslara]

lizzy koenig if meredith doesn’t wanna talk about it and doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that like it’s her decision leave her alone

[@nahedzikryyy6620]

lizzy koenig you’re so right I just hope everyone can become healthy💛

[@nahedzikryyy6620]

ayyitslara she’s just scared and worried for Meredith, as Meredith’s fans we want her to become healthy and happy 😊

[@lizzykoenig5840]

ayyitslara I understand that weight is a touchy topic. But if she’s not struggling she should make a video actually addressing the problem. She makes so many food videos to prove that she eats yet she continues to drop weight. I’m just concerned. I used to have an ED and I’m just looking out for others... also, it’s words like yours that continue the stigma of eating disorders. They need to be talked about. I understand why you take her side in pretending things are okay, but In actuality, those who face the problem are the ones who are helping.

[@user-dd1sm5fp2b]

Slytherin Pride Yeah but is that really the truth? You can tell that she's lost a lot of weight.

[@SophieJayne]

*wow - for someone who has struggled with disordered eating for years now this is exactly what i needed to watch. thank you for this niki xxx*

[@tianaholtza9955]

love your channel girl xx

[@oliviabeegle301]

Sophie Jayne random but how do u do that bold font?😂

[@Missmagazinebura]

So many girls have eating disorders. I don’t know why. I have an eating disorder and can’t eat certain foods and drinks because I will feel like I will puke.

[@estinaforrest5637]

Olivia Beegle *Hi* you put asterisks * around your words 😊

[@oliviabeegle301]

Estina Forrest *thx*

[@KiaraMesha]

Woooooooooowww when you said "im finally not the fat twin anymore" Mannnnnn... I know how you feel. This shit is rough and people really dont get it smh. Praying for you mamas

[@rantingintothevoid]

I know how this is. I’m 22 and have been recovered from anorexia since I was 14 and bulimia since I was 17. I don’t talk about it often- it feels like a whole different lifetime ago now but it’s always in the back of my mind. Thank you for bringing light to this in such a genuine way. So many girls need to see this.

[@gillianbower]

Thank you so much for being so real and honest! This was an incredible video and you are so strong for sharing everything, sending so much love your way Niki!! 💙

[@alissatessa1violetbrooks191]

Gillian Bower I really love your KZbin channel

[@HeeHaw101]

One might have never known what you were going through. It's so easy to hide. Not everyone is internally wearing the smile they show to the world.

[@jasminmolina9372]

Niki first off I subscribe to a ton of KZbinrs and I NEVER comment on vids, but this vid is such a strong message behind it. I know ur not looking for sympathy. But I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and I’m sooooo happy that YOU were able to find the light for ur self within ur self. Its phenomenal to get help and help ur self in a very personal issue. I wish u nothing but the best. Stay strong momma. You got this. 😘. Pat ur self on the back. And u hug ur self. Be proud of ur self. U have every right to be proud.

[@oreo2256]

I can't believe I watched this almost 3 years ago. Niki has grown and changed so much. In that time she has helped so many people, accomplished so many goals and she has given us so much. She is killing it. I wish past Niki could see future Niki. Still struggling, but not alone, finding safer ways to cope, and being herself.

[@sanamtaghi233]

I’m so excited for this “series” to go on 👏🏻 I love the honesty and that inspires me so much 💛

[@jordynpowell3401]

Sanam Taghi me too!!

[@jarilyn723]

Sanam Taghi me too

[@mariakara2419]

i agree. 😊💘

[@juliabennett7843]

Why is series in quotations

[@samaelazab8337]

😭😭😭😭😭

[@BaileyBlurbs]

Alisha is so sweet. This is why she attracts so many people. I hope you, Nikki are doing much better. You’re in great hands with Nate, he truly cares about you.

[@Kiarnii]

you're so brave niki, i wish you all the best in recovery ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@hellomoto5870]

“You have to love yourself more than you love the idea of being skinny” i can totally relate to that. But I never realized that the problem is I love being skinny more than i love myself

[@KylieMaples]

I definitely always was a little concerned for Nikki. We love you and we are always here for you.

[@cammiescam7318]

Same

[@djdud811]

I think being a twin you’re constantly comparing yourself to them and always being referred as the twins and you’re never just you and it can affect you, i love being a twin but i don’t think some people realise this. I went through an eating disorder and one of the main reasons was i was trying to make things just about me for once not us and i think the media impacted me, by looking at famous people with their perfect bodies and life’s and it helps to know not everyone is what they seem online and it really helps you opening up. When i had my eating disorder my family would tell me i was too skinny and that i needed to gain weight but all i could see is fat, the scariest thing is that you actually can’t see what you look like. thanks for this niki💞💞 xx we love you

[@tamaraleitham4971]

Pearls Multifandoms I can relate to this sincerely, At school everyone refers me and my sister as the ‘twins’ and I don’t feel like I have my own identification. Im always comparing myself as she has the bigger ass and boobs as me and she also has longer hair. Most people do not understand how hard it is to live up with it 🙄❤️

[@tamaraleitham4971]

Thank you for telling your story ik its social media but always here for you ❤️

[@Aanapaularam]

♡

[@the4girldirections334]

Tamara Leitham Remember this, you will never be like your sister. But she will never be you, and that’s something no one else can do. So always remember, she has something you don’t have, but you have something she doesn’t. She can’t be you. And no one else can. Appreciate yourself, trust me❤️

[@djdud811]

Tamara Leitham me too💞i know how hard it can be and understand x

[@Hannah-jl4pw]

No one is gonna read this but in case one person does: Doing something that is difficult is going to be the most beneficial for you. If talking about a topic e.g. breakup is hard, the more you do it the less difficult it gets and the less power it has over your mental heath. The less you want to leave your house and see your friends the more you should just force yourself to do it as staying inside will only isolate yourself more. Even with workouts, one move that hurts a ton is the one you should do the most as it’ll make the biggest change in your body. Remember, it gets harder before it gets easier. ❤️

[@amygueye4881]

Hannah - I read this and I appreciate it ❤️ thank you ☺️

[@candeuravenue]

Hannah thank you for this

[@Aanapaularam]

♡

[@zoechristine6485]

I read this and I appreciate it and QUEEN you are amazing

[@racheldenison6226]

GIRLS SUPPORTING GIRLS 💛💛💛💛

[@sarahmaria8548]

niki and alisha's friendship is so beautiful and heartwarming ❤

[@JennsCrazyLife]

I have honestly been finding social media influencing how I think I should look, but this has helped me. Thank you for posting this, Niki. I always have and will be here to support you.

[@pinklima6]

"you can't win. if you have curvers,youre too thick. if youre skinny you dont have shit to grab." This is the realist thing ever! ive felt like this so much! i see and hear guys say shit like this all the time too. I'm so glad shes finally opening up and talking about this. When she lost her curvers i was so woried. I've been there its not fun.

[@MissBoagJunior89]

The relationship you two have is beautiful. Your friendship is so real. This video really moved me. I nearly cried.

[@strangebeauty2]

To be honest, after watching this video I thought of Meredith Foster. I hope she watches Niki's video because it is very clear that she is going through this as well. I came across pictures of Meredith where you can literally see her bones/ribs. It's highly disturbing and heartbreaking at the same time. So thank you Niki, for being open about this to us and for spreading awareness about eating disorders. At the end of the day, learn to love yourselves and don't take your body for granted. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@lizzykoenig5840]

Strange Beauty me too :(

[@lizzykoenig5840]

Strange Beauty hopeful one day Meredith will share the truth. I think the fact that she avoids it makes me question whether she’s okay :(

[@amandajones3841]

Oh sweet Niki- you are well on the road to recovery and I am praying for you! Thank you for sharing- we all love you so so much for who you are at the CORE. If you need to, please take some time away from the camera to reflect and rejuvenate. We will understand. :)

[@jadehubpremium3862]

i like this side of youtube where the person you are watching is open and able to connect to many of their viewers. It’s good to see that not everything is “suns and roses” and that some of these people are real and relatable❤️it’s good and so much respect for these girls xx

[@Jessica-ck6ns]

i’ve binged and purged three times today. I feel so alone, i’m bawling my eyes out at this. I feel so hopeless.

[@a_8486]

Jessica, first of all I want to say that I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Eating disorders suck! I used to have an eating disorder like yours as well, but I am recovered and have been healthy for 2 years now. I want you to know that there is always a reason to keep hope that things will get better even though in the moment it doesn’t seem that way. Please, if you haven’t yet, talk to someone you trust and can also help you get the help you need if you do. It was scary for me, but after it just felt like a huge weight off my shoulders and was for sure the first step in my recovery. Love and prayers from California 💕

[@Jessica-ck6ns]

Katie_08 i’m in tears from reading that. Thank you so much... it means so much that you, a stranger, took the time to write that out to me. I don’t really have anyone to talk to regarding this, but I did come out about it to my sister today. I feel so ashamed. I’ve decided to try and seek help tomorrow. Thank you so much, that really meant a lot ❤️

[@PlantBasedBride]

Please find a professional to talk to who can help you find your way out ❤️ I remember those feelings so vividly and I’m so happy to be in a better place now. There IS hope. You can get better ❤️❤️

[@Fairymairy123]

Jessica before reading this i looked at your profile picture and i was like darn she is gorgeous sis she glowing now i am sad hope u are ok now❤️❤️

[@Jocelynxledesma]

This is why people should NEVER judge anyone because you don’t know what they’re going threw. You’re so brave Nikki for opening up about this (ED), honestly I’ve always thought your body was perfect 💋

[@courtneyellul898]

AJ&Baby TV through*

[@elinedevries8353]

☝🏻️

[@FromFiction777]

Idk when she said “ I was never gonna be that sister “ I felt that. Drug addiction runs in my family so I spent 15 years telling myself I’d never touch alcohol or drugs and a year after my first drink I was doing points of heroine and sleeping in the streets of San Francisco. I had spent so long saying I would not be like my sister/father/etc- that I had to be perfect because that problem was already “theirs”. We spend so much time hiding from the things we are predisposed to that we never learn how to truly fight them once they find us. She was so honest in this video and the shame she identified really resonated with me.

[@JackieWyers]

It's admirable how vulnerable you are here, I've always struggled with letting anyone in especially going through hard times so good for you Niki! This video will help so many people feel less alone. All the best to you

[@marieflp9784]

Jackie Wyers o

[@haydindavis]

Yes, I agree. I have struggled with not letting my family know when I was having a hard time. I love you Jackie!

[@tracimoyer9879]

I agree

[@lesliesanchez3222]

Currently recovering from an ED. Thank you for this video, many inspiring thoughts/words that gives me more determination to continue my recovery.

[@Sorsha]

Niki this is amazing! This is the amazing thing about social media is being able to share our struggles with other people in hopes that it can help them and even yourself

[@riamenon141]

A couple of months ago I saw a video on fast web called ‘why fans are scared for Niki DeMar’ about her having an eating disorder, and thought no way. This is such sad news but I’m so proud of you babe, you are amazing and beautiful and inspiring to me and millions of others. So happy we know this now. You have 100% helped me. I love you.

[@ericaaguirre6881]

I think it’s brave and admirable that she’s opening up and sharing her story. I hope this makes other people that are going through something similar reflect and open up. As an audience I think many of us were worried but, those that did comment on it were called haters. Glad you’re getting help. You really do have a glow right now. I hope you continue to get healthier

[@daisyrabourn3707]

Erica Aguirre sooooooooooooooooooo true.

[@deadmeme1606]

growing up I always thought I was the “fat” friend, cousin, sibling. I would look at all these youtubers with amazing body’s and wish that I was that beautiful, until I found Niki’s channel. She had an amazing body even if she had “curves” and was so positive about it. Niki has helped me through a lot and showed me that you don’t have to be stick thin to look amazing and feel amazing. I’m so glad Niki has come forward about her eating disorders it has helped so many people and she’s a true inspiration to so many people.

[@bluepineapples3392]

All I can think of is Meredith Foster. I seriously think she’s going through the same and needs help.

[@Justine_Star]

Blue Pineapples She is also getting better go watch her last video

[@lizzydavies6370]

Blue Pineapples OMG SAME

[@DoubleDee16]

I keep thinking if I lost weight I’d be happier... I’ve learned that I need to love myself first and accept who I am or I won’t be happy either way. It’s a hard journey that I’m still working on, thank you for speaking about this Niki I love how real this was!

[@mep1324]

지모치 yes!! sometimes I think that if I lost weight or my skin was perfect I’d be happy but in reality I know that every time I get what I think I want I find something else “wrong with me.” ughh loving yourself is hard.

[@DoubleDee16]

Mary Elizabeth thank you so much for your reply! It’s nice to know I’m not alone, I feel the exact same way! I think if I didn’t have acne, or if my body was like this blah blah blah but I really want to just love myself unapologetically for once.. you’re right it is hard, loving yourself is not the easiest or quickest thing to do but I wish you nothing but love and positivity on your self love journey! ❤️

[@mep1324]

지모치 thank you.....you too!!

[@raynacarol9533]

Alisha's such a good friend and generally a good person, and niki's such a strong woman! I love both of you.

[@eimi4505]

Thank u Niki for being honest This has definitely helped people, even the ones who are not going thru eating disorders

[@emilybeaudoin6975]

you never know the battles that someone else s fighting. Nikki its incredible that you had the courage to share your story because so many people are struggling with a lot of the thoughts that you are. No one has any reason to say anything negative about this video. I love that youre being so open and honest with everyone and sharing your journey and i can imagine this will touch so many people. we all love and support you no matter what and we all watch your videos because we love you! keep your head up and keep being you because you have always been beautiful and strong even when you didnt think so.

[@tess6193]

Girls supporting girls! Also thank you for sharing your story with everyone

[@jenniferroy4915]

Autumnstreak XD People supporting people

[@ClassicJasmineRice]

I usually don’t bother watching long videos on KZbin but I’m so glad I watched this. I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder since I was 15 years old (I’m 18 now) and I feel like this is the video I needed to watch. I have never related this much to any KZbinr before, you explained so well what’s happening inside my head. I’m working on myself and hopefully I’ll get to a place that I’ll truly feel happy, thank you Niki

[@yan9560]

Jazmine Brisker I hope 🤞u and niki to get better. I can’t imagine what it’s like....... remember always love yourself more than u.

[@riyamehta4637]

My heart goes out to you

[@kaitlyncavanaugh8805]

you got this!! i believe in u💛💛

[@hallhilla9341]

Me too I've been struggling since I was maybe 14 going on 15 it sucks being in your head so much and not being able to find a way out :(

[@tiffanyroseangeles7517]

Yes girls confidence is everything!!!!!

[@camrincosta4628]

alisha sounds like the best friend ever

[@mariajademusic]

Nikki is such an intelligent girl to be completely informed about what is going on with her body. It takes GUTS to be able to confront yourself and help yourself.