A CURSED Stardew Valley Villager Ranking

[@Touchablepenguin]

“Pierre is kinda gross. No one likes Pierre.” CORRECT

[@DreamerJoy]

I like him, he's my trash fave

[@v0iddoesgacha]

My partner seeing his portrait for the first time: Aww he’s so prettyyyy, can I date him?-

[@Davidledonkayy]

i like him :/

[@deftd0ll99]

so real

[@MARIANNEVALDEZART]

THE PAM VOICE 😭😭 a cig and slap on the ass 💀 I’m dead ur so right for doing this ranking

[@stelllajo]

hiding behind the percy jackson really sells that harvey impression holy cow

[@NinoKito]

I like to think I could be him or seb :3

[@lake_siren6206]

Krobus is just the best asexual representation ever ngl

[@cometeater]

Aro*

[@pixystixwhore]

@@cometeater technically both aro and ace. edit: actually nah, youre right. i dont believe hes ace, let me fuck the funky shadow man

[@Delthefunkyhomosapienscousin]

@@cometeater aroace

[@reign_issue]

honestly i think some people might not like it all that much since so much asexual rep has the asexual being some monster of inhuman which kind of dehumanizes ace ppl but honestly hes still iconic

[@Chris_winthers]

Nothing like an aroace QPR with your good pal krobus

[@kat_ri_elle]

the moment of hesitance with hailey before her later heart events is completely understandable. part of her charm is being mean to you at first

[@NinoKito]

when she finally lets you in and starts being nice to you, all those days of her calling your farmer gross become worth it!

[@mghoover13]

She is my favorite character, my sister doesn't like her tho,her Heart Events are so Sweet

[@insanelysane110]

she also half-compliments your complexion if you're a girl farmer, thinking its makeup

[@Xxsorafan]

Hailey was breedable for me even in the beginning when she’s mean 😭

[@genuinelyjustJD]

As someone who playthrough dated Harvey and Seb, yeah both impressions are highkey spot on. Especially the PJO book.

[@NinoKito]

Seb is Hades son

[@genuinelyjustJD]

@@NinoKito Couldn't agree more!

[@FroggiFreakshow]

@@NinoKitoFR fr

[@multishipper8536]

I have no idea why I got recommended this but tbh it's just what I needed. 11/10, extra points for catboy maid Sebastian

[@NinoKito]

Extra points lets gooo :o thank you ♥️

[@tak3rry]

as a harvey romancer, can confirm... he is very submissive and breedable. though there are times he decides to get on the wrong side of the y-axis Σ⊙▃⊙川

[@QiraTane]

The thumbnail makes me cackle 😭 Harvey with the word "Breedable?" mext to him😭😭😭😭

[@QiraTane]

There is no hope for my humor

[@rose864]

Harvey spot on. I chose him, and he is so kind and sweet, I legit need a second playthrough if i want to marry someone else, I can't divorce him. No way my sweet shy little boy.

[@joeycyanide1447]

the one quote where he talks about how people struggle to find equilibriums in their lives and his balance is the farmer - I CRIED

[@aquariuspower7138]

Same here, impossible to divorce him, I had to do a second file for other bachelors!

[@natha.foreverybody]

I'm so happy that we are agree in the fact our littles hearts can't divorce from Harvey

[@alyshaharper8730]

SAME. I wanted to go for Elliott but I couldn't break Harvey's heart so I started a third save file. I have seb as my husband in my first file. Harvey as my husband in the second. And I have a new one where I will be pursuing Elliot once I have ducks and a pomegranate tree. technically I have 4 files but Dude was created solely to be an asshole and choose mean options for gits and shiggles. infact Dude may just sell his soul and try a joja run..

[@TankieBoi]

Penny should have been 100% most breedable, she's able to have kids and implies she wants a big family, which means having lots of them

[@amori9389]

If you're a guy, i think she might be the typical submissive and breedable tradwife, but if the farmer is a girl i feel like she'd be slightly more dom

[@GuiSmith]

@@amori9389that makes a scary amount of sense and makes me realise a thing or two about Penny maybe 😆

[@parmesanboi]

The only one I disagreed with was Leah, I reckon she could snap me in half if she wanted to 😂

[@NinoKito]

Just married Leah recently and now 100% agree, she might also be my fav bachelorette now.

[@parmesanboi]

@@NinoKito yeah she’s mine too! Also your videos are great 😊

[@fizzydrinkuno]

As a Elliot stan, he is submissive breedable (I mean he has a crab in his pocket)

[@Davidledonkayy]

the cheapest things he likes are pomagranites and duck feathers :-: one reason i hated him ar first was becuz my favorite stuff in the game is purple stuff including amoranth AND GUESS WHO THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT HATES AMORANTH IS!?!?

[@balan_wonerworld]

Shane likes to be insulted during intimacy, no one will make me think otherwise

[@weronikaszymanska6845]

I totally agree lmao. He looks like he likes to be called names since he geniuenly doesn't like himself... He is also very kinky once you marry him

[@FenrirInFlowers]

Sam is the most breedable man in the game. His scene where he comforts Vincent when Vince is afraid their dad might die is heartbreaking and shows how amazing and sweet he is. His 14 heart event is all about him getting a job writing music for a kids' show and exploding your ovaries when he discovers how much he loves making the kids happy. He has a band, writes some of the best songs in the game, has a ten heart event that can imply sexytimes. He's also a prankster with bad boy cred, and he has been assigned the most hours of community service in town as a result.

[@Xxsorafan]

Those events are his only good ones though unfortunately. You see him as this responsible big brother in one scene then he’s being a irresponsible brat to Lewis and comes off as immature

[@FenrirInFlowers]

@Xxsorafan - I singled out his 3, 10, and 14 heart events, but Sam's music related events are also great. That's part of why I mentioned his band in the plus column for Sam in my post. The man forms a band, writes their music, manages to get them a show in Zuzu City, and makes demo tapes. That takes a lot of hard work in a very difficult and competitive field. Players often seem to write it off like some immature pipe dream, when Sam is literally practicing 4 hours a day most days in his game schedule. His budding music career rivals Elliott's writing arc. The four music options for his 8 heart events are all solid, and the experimental noise rock option is another of the best songs in the game. So that covers heart events 2, 3, 8, 10, and 14. Even his 4 heart event is pretty sweet when you realize that Sam knows his mom is unhappy and hiding her pain (8 heart Sunday dialogue), and he seems to be walking on eggshells there because he knows she's stressed out and doesn't want to upset her. Sam only gets pissy to Lewis in one of the three dialogue options at his 6 heart. If you take Sam's side, Lewis apologizes for how he yelled at Sam, and he asks more politely for Sam to be more careful in the future. If you take nobody's side, Lewis apologizes, and Sam agrees not to do it again. He's still proud of the trick he landed though. So that's really not a big immaturity issue to me. Sam isn't any more immature in that event than Sebastian, who mourns the rotten egg toss, is impressed by Sam's community service hours, nearly yelled at his mom for throwing away his comic books, and who suggests putting something nasty in the Luau stew because he likes seeing the fabric of society break down.

[@Chris01114]

Yes, Sam is very breedable in my opinion. For some reason I feel like he's either be super dom or super sub depending on the day, but maybe that's just me

[@FenrirInFlowers]

@@Chris01114 - It's not just you. I definitely get that same vibe from him.

[@dharrison6504]

As someone who doesn’t have ovaries, it’s probably a good thing, cause mine would be going nuclear 😂

[@FroggiFreakshow]

I sometimes look at the chat in the corner and I saw “daddy Linus is super breedable” 😭✋ And ngl only clicked to see where Seb falls 💀✋ “He already has the maid fit on when u head home for dinner” 😳✋

[@troublemakergamer8200]

I think Jody is actually more breathable because she also had a kid as an older mother meaning her and Kent are having kinky time a lot more to have the oops baby as an older mother

[@randomuser2427]

"You can't tell me librarian isn't a sexy position" * happiness noises *

[@maddiemac55530]

I freakin been HC Shane as a sub, but when this dude mentioned about him loving being a punching bag, I could see that, definitely with my framer lol

[@jeannedouglass5106]

I will not take this Elliot slander, he just a sweet man.(cool video though)

[@NinoKito]

I’m currently trying to romance Elliot on a playthrough on my Twitch, that man wants the bougiest stuff 😩

[@keegansakura1307]

@@NinoKito expensive taste yes BUT AN ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART FURTHER ON DOWN. Pomegranate trees are the easiest to get. Thankfully you can use most fish if you need to just gift things.

[@battlesushii]

I NEED PEOPLE TO STOP SLANDERING MY SECOND HUSBAND RIGHT THE HELL NOW PLEASE (my first is sebastian lmao)!! JUST BECAUSE HE USES BIG FANCY WORDS AND HAS THE SAME VERY EXPENSIVE TASTES AS ME DOESN’T MEAN HE’S PRETENTIOUS. I love him with my WHOLE entire heart bro. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

[@thefloorist5169]

​@@battlesushii I agree! I LOVE how he is so extra with his taste in clothes and his language.

[@Davidledonkayy]

@@keegansakura1307 dude. UR TOTALLY RIGHT 🥰

[@AnUnnaturalNaturalDisaster]

Are you crazy!? Mr.Qi is SO a Dom.

[@nokti...]

YOU. you get it

[@AnUnnaturalNaturalDisaster]

@@nokti... THANK YOU!

[@AzuBei]

Clint is definitely submissive unbreedable.

[@darth-krokus]

elliott was the antagonist of this chart, until he was defeated and it was revealed that sebastian was the true final boss of this chart

[@someone-pe3yt]

George

[@catastrophicfailure2745]

my friends and i watched this together, we had fun debating your decisions.

[@NinoKito]

That sounds so fun omg

[@catastrophicfailure2745]

@@NinoKito we agree with sebastian wholeheartedly. there were no arguments

[@ElfinHat96]

@@catastrophicfailure2745 What about Alex tho?

[@kayleekirkpatrick9193]

Was fully agreeing with everything you said then you had to slander my man Elliot. All jokes aside, very entertaining, laughed a lot. When you showed the Wizard I got whiplash because last night I was looking at Genderbend Stardew Valley fan art and the pixel art I found of the Wizard was kinda hot and it took me a couple seconds to remember and process that he wasn’t lowkey a mommy

[@sillygoofygirl5]

As soon as i saw where you put grandpa i almost threw myself out the car window

[@minnymoon1360]

I feel like seb would be both dom and sub. Cat ears or no cat ears lol

[@sarahnorman6856]

I loughed so hard, as Nino puts George into the very Edge of the breedable\submissive-quarder 🤣🤣🤣

[@guidojacobs2002]

This is the second most cursed Stardew Valley thing I've seen.

[@Chris01114]

What's the most cursed?

[@uifvaid5134]

@@Chris01114 i want to know too

[@iridiumbat]

you genuinely look like a chill dude and your vibes are on point. Nice vid, glad I got it reccomended!!

[@strawberrypickles5171]

As a Harvey stan: I couldn't agree with you more lol

[@mr.mcphoenix]

Sam’s final gear event is so good

[@softpurplebat]

Yes! Sam is so cute pwp

[@lemon7806]

Morris thinks he's dominant but he got clocked by Pierre in a heartbeat he's a sub

[@LitLeo5260]

Yo, I'd totally put Morris as a sub. Nobody puts up that much of a fuss unless they feel the need to be punished. He totally loves it when Pierre punches him off screen, and they go off together afterwards, 100%. Pierre x Morris is the only headcannon I approve of 😂😂😂

[@bestlaidplans2024]

Clint is most definitely in the bottom corner of the green section. That man's a pushover

[@lostkitty82]

I think Abby is a dom, but she wants her sub to use the whips on her. She wants the pain.

[@compi3882]

Abby is without a doubt into some things you've never even heard of

[@larslionheart]

Thank you for making all of my favorites breedable submissive I love it

[@elledayooo]

Shane is a million times breedable. Fight me.

[@wolfganggrimmerdoesnotdese6822]

I'll breed him

[@weronikaszymanska6845]

His comments about the player once you marry him make me BLUSH

[@bagelhope4747]

shane is controversial because he would deffo choke you and stufffff.......... actually thinking abt it he could receive that as well..... maybe it's dependent on who he's with

[@weronikaszymanska6845]

I think we can all agree that he likes violence during intimacy lmao. He can be a switch and one night choke you and the other ask you to choke him

[@serenadams8588]

THE PAM IMPRESSION PUHLEEASSEE AHHAHAHSHA

[@slugmuffin]

nah u did shane dirty he is full breedable switch

[@softpurplebat]

😭 what no, Sam is the sweetest soul 💕

[@CocoaLoverr]

12:29 NOT THE SHANE HEADCANON 😭

[@weronikaszymanska6845]

lmao i feel like the whole fandom just collectively decided it's true

[@CocoaLoverr]

@@weronikaszymanska6845 welp, then i guess it's my new hc now

[@RowanVerditeNova]

Nah, Nah, Nah, Linus is way more Dom, That man does what he wants & gives no Fs Leah needs to be slap bang in the middle between Dom/Sub, shes 100% a switch depending on who shes dating the rest are pretty accurate ((:

[@localblush8314]

The George placement will haunt me forever😂💖 I personally would have put Evelyn in his spot and put him next to Morris

[@feel-ix1718]

I was waiting for sebastion's turn the WHOLE time and of course he was the last person lol. Cant say im disappointed with sebastions ranking

[@UncannyCatboy]

this is one of the videos i’ve watched

[@Lotan_]

Sam strikes me as being dead center. He's up for anything with anyone so long as he's having a good time.

[@potatoempress5731]

I've been seing so much Sam hate around and it makes me sad.

[@Trojan073]

9:55 Marlon canonically wants to ask Marnie out so no.

[@niice_creammm]

Swap Evelyn and George and it would beep 100% correct. You are not going to tell me, that sweet little grandma is dominant. And George? He’s a grumpy old man, like, back in his day it was normal to boss woman around, so that’s what he’ll do. (Even if that’s not how we should act at all) Evelyn = Sweet Loving Grandma (will bake you cookies) George = Grumpy Old Man (will steal your cookies)

[@RSomethingSomething]

I think thats the points, we like character that lookz more gentle as dom and character that looks more not gentle as sub.

[@Crumpletin]

“I think Shane likes to be chucked around a bit” 😭😭😭😭

[@annsh.6487]

Still waiting for a mod that lets us romance Gunther

[@castlekeep2789]

I love that you are doing it! Most of these characters are has beens till the farmer loves them with gifts!😋

[@SillyLittleSpiralDoorBoy]

shane not being above George in that ranking is a CRIME but overall i suppose youre right about the rest

[@Mathfan002]

3:18, "i think hes a bit of a sl- I think he's submissive" lol

[@CheeseyWitch]

This!! Absolutely this. I cant find enough fanfics that writes Sam as more dominant than Sebby.. thank you!

[@Katzykeens]

Nah Demetrius is a sub and so is morris, powerful dudes are ALWAYS subs. And Demetrius got with ROBIN--CARPENTER-ARMS-ROBIN. There's NO way she's not pegging him o3o As a hardcore Elliot stan--he's a subby lil beeeetch >:I look at that fuckin hAIR. It's BEAUTIFUL >:I I bet he has Leah pull it and shit.

[@umbreoncoredenise]

Counter point given the relationship between Demetrius and Robin, maybe being good in bed is THE ONLY thing he's got going for him

[@xxwharfratxx]

I know that this is a bit late, but Clint definitely gives me more submissive vibes. I think he just wants to be dominant, but isn't actually.

[@weronikaszymanska6845]

YESS, he wants to look dominant but when it comes to doing it, he messes up everything and is shy

[@TheWolfQueentm]

Abby is spot on who doesn't want a goth dommy mommy?

[@apolloscorner6011]

this is the most correct political compass ever

[@nokti...]

as one of the 10 mr qi fans in this community, he is SO breedable

[@MrEatPant]

i have to say this is perfect

[@k1n5h0]

Cannot stand the Elliot hate rn. 100% accurate tho

[@alexjekyll8120]

I've played with an expanded sebastian dialogue mod where post marriage he has a line implying he put the farmer in a collar the night before. When I saw that in game I think I honest to god said out loud "Who the fuck is trying to turn this twink into a dom?" 😂

[@SailorMiMi770]

I think... I think I need to find this and send it to my friends. I need to scar them.

[@businessmudkip4548]

I am unironically crying rn

[@sophiathefurbst]

over which sorting

[@businessmudkip4548]

@@sophiathefurbst all of them

[@leafy_green7573]

subscribing because of “but eventually he might put on cat ears 🤷”

[@boredutopia]

I played yesterday and discovered robin's shop is closed same days as Marni's. They both are inside Pierre's store at that time having aerobics with other women in town...

[@RazzleMazzleTazzle]

Aerobics is on every Tuesday. Robin is still open Mondays.

[@maxandcheeese]

you did not just call sam boring

[@Mx_Mc]

I married Leah, total dom, would let her step on me

[@serenadams8588]

"You don't look at that man and go, yeah, breedable" well idk what to say bc that's p much exactly what I did 😭

[@dowhatmakesyouhappiiee]

You gotta be smokin something to think that sam is not submissive and breedable my guy

[@iampidgeon6923]

How dare you I could 200% breed Morris

[@tophfan]

this man never played til ginger island

[@tonytrafalgar4401]

Very cursed, very entertaining 😂

[@mossthemage9948]

Why does this exist. thank you though great vibe

[@NinoKito]

Thank you! I think :3

[@mossthemage9948]

@@NinoKito definetly you have earned a loyal and horrified fan >:33

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

The most dominate bachelor ... Elliot ... wait wat?😆

[@takumidoutou4412]

Krobus is the most breedable

[@PumpKinnii_]

I married Sebastian and I have to say, he's more switch. I think depends of the mood of the day, if you wanna be dom he will be the sub and the same if you wanna be the sub. But yeah, in his sub mood he will have his cat ears and maid outfit ready lmao. I think in first stance he will unbreedable but with the past of the time he will be 100% breedable.

[@KimyrTheKlanceShipper]

10:18 omg percy jackson yess

[@lowkeyykiraa]

i know bro did not say sam is the most boring bachelor when harvey exists (im sorry to harvey lovers but i LOVE sam)

[@MeiGoat]

G-George...

[@Anime_0b5essed]

I looked at the chart and said oh everyone is here and then for some reason my ass was like WAIT WHERE IS THAT RANDOM GINGER LADY FROM JOJA MART like the cashier that looks like shes thirty something Like if you have everyone on jer you gotta have everyone

[@Takapon218]

Linus is wholly dominant and breedable 😩 my top king Also you could... put Penny in submissive... but I feel like she isn't breedable. She's all emotion no sex.

[@ethanizer9967]

DOMMY MOMMY SANDY WOOOO

[@Eco-wx3jd]

Pierre was a pro boxer back in his day. He destroyed Morris he is jacked. Also Willy would be a hunk

[@weronikaszymanska6845]

i meah maybe he was but right now he looks like lost all his skill i think and is just annoying lmao

[@tvstaticjumperz5439]

My first video of yours, 2 minutes in, subscribed !❤

[@why_do_i_need_this]

I hated this so much. Great video

[@Anime_0b5essed]

I clicked and and was like okay this is gonna be funny and then i saw grandpa and was like wait 😭 every character is on here like EVERY CHARACTER even our grandpa 😭 tbis vid gonna be halarious

[@chrismclean4658]

where can i do this??!!? this looks so fun to do witha friend for jokes lmao

[@NinoKito]

It's not available anywhere I set it up! :D I just got a political compass from google images and the villager sprites from the Stardew wiki and put it photoshop!

[@Iris-zc1jn]

I'd say the gov'nur would be more down. Like the poor guy has to be bossy and dominant all day, at home he just wants to be ... y'know.. taken care of lol. Also.. love this cursed video, gonna watch more of your stuff lol

[@antlerthyme]

Leah is 100% a switch, I agree she should be on the line between dom and sub Edit: I think Elliott is also submissive and breedable

[@hannalundblad1146]

Omg this is way too funny the finished chart… 😂😭💀💀💀

[@L3m0n_sh0rk]

I really hope my brother doesn't hear me watch this- I lost my headphones 😭

[@couch_philosoph3325]

Me thinking about romancing elliot on my first play through. You: he is slightly dominant. Me: OH NO, guess I gotta change to.... idk sebastian..?

[@coolnoobalert]

I shouldn’t have watched this video at 14.

[@Chris01114]

Only 3 years to go

[@zebrafincharts449]

I KNEW IMMEDIATELY WHERE SEBBY WAS GOING

[@id10tguy]

…what did you call sam?