No longer Christian (part 2)

[@sara_martin]

Loved hearing your story, Makayla!! I could relate to so much of your deconstruction journey. Can't wait to read your upcoming book! 💙

[@ronaldmendonca6636]

Break those chains, baby! Discard bad ideas. Embrace love, compassion and empathy.

[@Sandy.Squirrel]

Sending you hugs girl. My first eye opener was when I was frowned upon cause I went to nursing school, worked in trauma and I wore pant scrubs and not a dress/skirt that I was going against biblical teachings and God's rules. Even though I was helping save lives, I was wrong for what I was doing because of my attire. That's when I started to think for myself.

[@thinkspiritual]

Ohhhh...I know that feeling too. Looking back and realising what an asshole I had been at times because I was supposed to be "holy". Ugh. It's horrible you didn't get to experience Christian Rock even. That was my only form of rebellion! haha

[@downenout8705]

I loved your story, but I do have to disagree with you on one point, you didn't hurt your family for changing your name, their religion hurt them by preventing them from being accepting and loving towards someone who is doing nothing more than embracing who they are and not what they are demanding you should be. I have nothing but pity and sadness for anyone who has been so badly broken by religious indoctrination.

[@makaylabrooks]

Thank you 😊

[@josephbelisle5792]

My indoctrination appears to be worse than yours. At one time when I prayed I saw in my mind a huge machine that went to the horizon, full of metal teeth right in front of me just there waiting for me to make a mistake and reduce me to pulp. I could feel it just nicking my knuckles on my prayer folded hands. When we prayed together in the living room on our knees (not my dad, he could sit) i could feel my body slowly sinking through the floor on my way to hell in full panic mode, sweating. Everyone, of every other faith was not only wrong but bad. Black people were bad. So who was good? The people that sexually abused you were good. Such great messaging. You cant introduce a child to death, hell and a morality that turns your morality on its head. Death needs to be introduced to a child in ways that are natural to their growth. indoctrination introduces death in the worst way. Even if there is a hell, introducing a child to the concept that if you dont believe in a certain way this supposedly loving god will make you suffer insanely forever. This is an unholy concept that tortures and traumatizes a childs mind. Children understand morality in a progessive way. They are just coming to understand morality that accepts others, you should share and care for others. Then you hit them with this insane morality of a genocidal god who hates and kills people it doesnt like and if you dont bow to a pathological narcissistic relationship you will burn in hell. You are told you have to believe in something you dont believe in you will suffer horribly for eternity. And that people you love, who are adults, who dont believe this will be burning forever in hell. This warps and traumatizes a childs mind. This trauma later in life manifests as self hate, hatred of others and you being triggered into fear and anxiety when someone questions faith. When someone says something against what you believe do you find yourself getting defensive, fearful, reacting in fear, engaging in violent talk or action? This is the result of trauma from childhood indoctrination. You were abused. Im sorry they did this to you Makayla. It is wrong and it is child abuse. Sadly, you never get over this fully. When you traumatize a child you ingraine this abuse literally into their brain development. We can get mostly better but we can never leave these traumas behind or completely heal them. I became an atheist not by studying atheism. I did because of studying theism. I knew I was broken badly. I figured out why and began trauma therapy. In my therapy and studies of religion and mind, I found that there is no god anywhere. I searched everywhere. I searched the recesses of my mind. I could not find any shred of evidence of a god anywhere. The universe exists and runs perfectly well without any sort of diety. My therapist wants me to believe in a higher power. But I cant. I cant choose my belief. If I choose to believe in something I dont believe, it is a lie and will not work. After discovering this I started studying atheism. And found it to be true and the best match for reality.

[@downenout8705]

You should take great pride in having the courage to break this vicious circle. You must be in the US, because if any therapist in the UK recommended a belief in a "higher power" they would be barred from practicing.

[@TheGalwayfan]

I'm sorry Makayla. I knew your mom back in middle school and high school. We still talk thru messenger sometimes. We were both flute players. I know she's religious but I didn't know she was this extreme. I think she even made her hair blonder in hs. She's still my friend. Personally, I'm confused regarding religious faith myself. I've lost faith for various reasons. I'm in limbo regarding religion. I do consider myself spiritual. I don't read the Bible and I refused to raise my kids up in the church. I wanted them to be able to choose how they feel about religion. I don't believe in indoctrination in any way. For me, church is confusing and contradictory. I don't like that. I hope you're still able to have a relationship with your parents and siblings. It would devastate me if one of my kids disowned me and I will never disown them for any reason. If your mom sees this she'll know who I am, I don't want to lose her friendship but I'd like to be your friend too.

[@makaylabrooks]

Hi! I don’t think my mom was this extreme in high school. And I also don’t think she’s as extreme as the church and Christian school taught me to be. They sent us there meaning well but since they didn’t grow up in it, they didn’t know how deep the rabbit hole was that we were being taught to follow. I have come really far since 3 years ago when I made this video and I don’t need them to understand or agree with me or even think I’m right to have a relationship with them. We do talk now. I know I’m on the right path for me and I love where I’m at. And that’s all that matters :). Idk if they know of this KZbin account. They tend to pretend this part of me doesn’t exist now and that’s probably best for everybody 😂. I don’t even know if they ever read the book I published. I think it’s a really hard convo for them bc of how deep they are in their religious beliefs. And that’s okay.

[@TheGalwayfan]

​@makaylabrooks Just so you know, I like your mom and always will. We were a little competitive regarding band 😂 but it was always friendly. I got to hold one of the twins after they were born. Pretty sure it was your little brother. Your mom brought them to the bowling league so we could all see and admire them. I'm glad you do communicate with your folks here and there. My own mom died from type 1 diabetes when I was 30. She was just 55. Your mom used to draw her blood when she was hospitalized, which was quite often.

[@TheOptimistikChic]

I love your story. You and I have several parallels... Never doubt what your heart feeds you. No matter what religion, non-religion, it's about you. Your compassion is so clear to me... and I think it's simply 'love'. ♥️

[@jmdsservantofgod8405]

hooray for you!.... I get your story/ journey....I feel like I can share a lot of thoughts with you.....too much to type here.... my I have your e-mail?.... seems you have a very supportive husband and wonderful family

[@makaylabrooks]

Hey! Thanks for your comment. My email is kjmc0223gmail.com

[@Emanuel_carey]

16:34 figured that was it… bob jones university too?

[@makaylabrooks]

No but my brother went there! I went to maranatha baptist bible college in Wisconsin which was liberal compared to bju lol! But still quite cultish and controlling