NoDap Podcast - Episode 28

[@michelleneous]

You both bring up so many good points about having/raising a child! It requires so much giving up about your own life. And especially for women, I fear that I’d lose my identity that I worked so hard to build, and just become “someone’s mom”. It’s already harder for women to create our own space in society and in the workforce, is it really worth to sacrifice that just for a kid? I don’t know :/

[@anjajaja3078]

i am never tired of listening to your podcast

[@nodappodcast1666]

Thank you!

[@velyvely6479]

one thing i think everyone should remember- your child doesn't have to be like others! everyone deals with stress and pressure different ways and that's the same for parents. the things you dislike or don't want that kind of parent/child lifestyle you can change or just not be that! i think the problem these days is mothers give up their entire life and live revolving around the kid! i think you should co-exist and respect each others needs, i worked as a nanny in the past and it would drive me crazy to see mothers being slaves to their children. if you're a chilled and easy-going parent the child can also be that way, i was a really chilled nanny and the mother said that because of me her daughter grew in her first years to be chilled and not running around noisy.

[@nodappodcast1666]

Well said, Mothers give up so much of themselves for kids - whole life revolves around children sometimes. Hopefully if we ever become parents we can be more chilled parents.

[@velyvely6479]

@@nodappodcast1666 i hope you can! after being a nanny to fund travel when i was early 20's i got to realise parents/mothers really don't have to live that way. and if i have kids one day i wont give my life up for my kids - for sure they'll come first but also my own life is a priority for their sake as well as your families. thanks for the reply! I'm waiting for my next marie kondo'ing to listen to your new podcast!

[@euniceseong4421]

Dasha and Jono, hope you know the comments regarding lip noises wasn't with ill intent. I'm just a huge fan who wants to listen to every single episode y'all upload and I was just bummed out about that small detail bc I'm really sensitive to those sounds. Thank you for being such champs and not taking offense :) just wanted to bring it to you guys' attention! So much love to you guys

[@nodappodcast1666]

Oh for sure! We actually really appreciate the feedback, so we can try make the podcast better quality! 👌🏻

[@euniceseong4421]

The way I understand having kids is that for the first time, you have someone you love more than yourself, which is different from the way you feel about you partner. A child will have the uniquely mixed DNA of you and your partner (in biological families), a product of the love, sacrifice and commitment between you and your partner. I'd say that marriage is a fairly mutually beneficial relationship, whereas having children is not beneficial in any way, except for the joy you get from seeing them grow into humans. Scientifically speaking, romantic affection doesn't last for long in relationships, and after it has faded, it's mostly friendship, loyalty, and a constant wish for the other person's well-being, and having children together is supposed to strengthen that bond, because now you have this joint project you guys work together and love together. I think a big reason why we have so many broken families and traumatized children is because people are in it for the wrong reasons (seeing your child as a continuation of your life and career goals for example), some people build families before working on their own issues and commit to something they aren't ready for? That's why I am all for couples not having kids just because society pressures them into parenthood. If anything, I think it's very wise to discern if you truly want children or not. I've been told that if you see life as a journey of finding happiness, having children is a losing game - but if you see life as a journey of learning to love beyond your understanding, having children is the best way, because it challenges you to love even when you don't feel like it, and that kind of love completes you as a human. This may be different though, depending on how you'd define the purpose of human life. In Christian terms, I think marriage and kids is the best way to learn how to love, which makes you understand God's heart for you that gave up his son to love you- that's what my dad said when my parents had my brother (he's a year older than me) - he said that when he held his first newborn child, he finally felt like he was getting a glimpse of how much he was loved by God and his parents. I see Agape(unconditional and godly love) as a reference point of love, and building a family contains all the other loves (Eros-romantic love, Storge-parental love, Phileo-love between siblings and friends) that helps us understand the full picture of love. Economically speaking, it's not beneficial, but just like everything beautiful in life, taking on the responsibility to love someone beside yourself has no survival value; but it is one of those things which give value to survival.

[@ayumilevette7931]

Cats are so funny and cute lol

[@nodappodcast1666]

.....but dogs doe, they are funny, cute and silly! haha JC= Teamdog

[@vielu396]

You guys should look into "three point lighting" to light up your faces better. Also, look into blue wavelength blocking glasses for better sleep (UVEX works well)! Dope podcast as always!

[@nodappodcast1666]

Thanks! Heard about three point lighting, Sounds complex! haha

[@ByKristyLin]

lol "i don't know what that word is but it sounds so rude"

Yay! First :)

[@nodappodcast1666]

Congrats 😊