Am I okay?

[@scewps]

recently stumbled upon your life is strange playthrough from 2019 and i enjoy how genuine you are in your videos. I appreciate that you just try to be yourself and you dont want to pretend to be okay when you're not. Thanks for being honest with us nuka, hope to catch one of your streams soon

[@darkphoenix2]

You know, I already had the impression you were a cool person from seeing some of your videos and your comments on some of Marz's videos. It's just obvious, from the surface. But...this might sound weird...the way you play Bloodborne really shows another layer of who you are. I can't fully explain it, but you're focused and fairly serious and you don't shy away from the challenge and you think things through and accept help to a certain extent. All of those things give me the impression that you're a pretty strong person, overall. It might sound weird, but I think you'll feel it more as you push forward. I don't want to make this comment all about a video game, though. On a more personal note, you're very NOT alone. I'm 30 years old now, and I haven't been satisfied with my life for years. I don't know what I want to do for a career. I'm not very happy at work right now. Don't have much of a social life. Etc. But I'm okay too. I'm still trying. I believe things will get better. For one thing, we're nearing the end of this pandemic thing. The whole world will breathe a sigh of relief when we've beaten it. And after that...let's just keep working together to make the world a better place. It's the only option!

[@fhtheking3661]

❤️🙏🏾

[@quistis90]

I worked two jobs six days a week for 6 years and just kept going and going, a little holiday like once a year but that's so not enough. I felt I was just always working. Last year I lost a lot of important people and pets and it really shook me to my core and I broke down. I was so tired and sad, nothing brought me joy, and I saw how work obsessed I was. I refused to believe I was depressed and that I needed help cos I thought I was strong and took pride in being independent. But that's not being strong. You're just alone. I finally got help from a therapist and now after about 6-8 months I'm getting there. It takes a freaking long time to get through a burnout. Please take care of yourself, mental health problems are so underrated and still seen as a sign of weakness - I learned the hard way that's not the case.

[@darkness2160]

Man, I should really see a therapist

[@quistis90]

@@darkness2160 Please do if you have the opportunity! Absolutely everyone would benefit from seeing one, even though they might not have life changing problems.

[@matthewgronenthal2416]

Moderation❤️ Don’t push yourself... heck I’d be happy with one video a week! Start easy and then start increasing difficulty ❤️ Just know we all got your back!

[@Dave_ja_vu]

Yes! I joined for Bloodborne stuff and have had that recommended loads. Thank you for addressing it and providing an update. Hope you're doing OK, I'm new here but you seem like a good person and your community clearly cares about you a lot, and they seem like a good judge of character so I'm gonna trust them.

[@Ladco77]

"Not any better, but not any worse," is pretty incredible given what we've all gone through in the last year. Be kind to yourself. You're worth it.

[@fhtheking3661]

💯

[@josemartinezwalter3583]

geez girl, I wish I could be there with you to just give a hug, listen to you and help you as much as you helped me with your vids. You're very lovevy, and wholesome with us and you don't know the 99% of us. All that I can say is thank you and be strong, all this mental stuff is temporary.

[@BlazingInferno00]

YT just wants to make sure you're doing alright! Surprisingly compassionate of them....

[@FatalFist]

It is a weird way to remind users that even KZbinrs are people wrestling with their own demons, too.

[@m3ntal_c0re]

she still active on twitter or insta?

[@lakodamon]

The algorithm weights comments far more heavily than timestamps, so that it behaves more like a person, so that our robotic overlords can dominate us more easily... ... okay, I'm gonna stop talking now...

[@utkarshnigam1464]

You're genuine and honest, hopefully you get better. I love your videos :)

[@xJuliettex]

Oh lovely 💙 you'll get there, I know you will. I know you can.

[@ColeBrealey]

You're not alone! I'm 19 and just got laid off from work after I started living by myself. And as far as I'm concerned, we are all your friends!

[@Maesterful]

Chin up lad, you'll get there eventually

[@jackquentin1950]

Hope you're doing better bud. It's tough to find a job in this pandemic.

[@rolfsinkgraven]

In case no one told you today: - You’re beautiful - You’re loved - You’re needed - You’re alive for a reason - You’re stronger than you think - You’re gonna get through this - I’m glad you’re alive - Don’t give up Try too find the little things that make you happy. love your videos, and editing is a lot of work.

[@desativadoofficial]

That old videos of yours helped me, YT recommendations suck but that one reached in the right time

[@youin24years]

Which one was that one? The one that reached you the right time

[@RobertPayne556]

The old one.

[@konuka_ame]

Which old one

[@youin24years]

@@RobertPayne556 Do you know how many old ones are out there? -_- stop being wise and a troll

[@luis6437]

Me había preocupado por el título del vídeo. Eres la mejor. Te sigo, te quiero y respeto a pesar de que no hablamos la misma lengua. Pero tus vídeos son muy divertidos y buenos. Ojalá pudiéramos hacer más por ti.

[@kevinwendellcrumb1802]

Love your honesty and advice. Thank you for being you. ❤️

[@TheMirandalorian]

awwww you are so genuine and honest. take your time

[@Dave934]

My friend who is a psychiatrist worded my depression and anxiety so simply saying, it’s not that you are weak, there is just a chemical imbalance in your brain, it just needs to be fixed. Idk why that has stuck with me, but I agree with the days feeling blurred together. I have felt kind of stuck for many years, and I’ve never known how to get out even though I want to. I think it could come by slowly changing daily habits, maybe writing down some goals and following through with checking them off a list, seeing a psychologist/therapist, whatever works for that individual person. I hope you can find more self fulfillment and happiness, it’s not easy, I hear people telling me great things about who I am but it doesn’t always stick even though it does mean a lot. I thank you so much for being so honest, your channel is incredible and you are incredible. Thank you for everything that you do

[@kirkorion9729]

Wow... great friend. Just discarding any issues someone might have , normal feelings and reactions ro the world around you and from within you, with 'its a chemical imbalance in the brain, you need to be "fixed"?! There are millions of solutions and self-analysis and alot of introspection that can be done before having to resort to medications to numb emotions. Unbeleaveable... 😞

[@Dave934]

@@kirkorion9729 I’ve never used medication for it and he didn’t recommend any to me either, he was just speaking as my friend, but I appreciated how simply he put it. Some people need medication and that’s fine, but there are a lot of other things you could try first

[@jadeshadow1854]

Your awesome Ele, we all love you and we're forever your mini-nukes

[@nukachronic6211]

I can relate. I’ve been stuck in a rut since 2019 and still there really. Let’s hope 2021 is looking up for both of us.

[@damienjohn]

You asked if it's worth it... I need to say your content is worth so, so much to me. I barely comment and we don't know each other, but you've helped me battle my own demons for years. Thank you.

[@TKDRIFTER421]

Well said sir... well said.

[@codywhite6337]

You're an amazing creator that I enjoy being a subscriber of. I also suffer from mental health issues and I truly hope you will be okay! I am here if you need anything or need someone to talk to.

[@Figboy]

I totally understand how you feel. And don’t feel like you have to suffer alone or struggle alone. My door is always open if you need to vent and unload some of that stress. Never be afraid to reach out when you feel overwhelmed. Seriously. Don’t push yourself so hard! At the end of the day, your mental, emotional, and physical health is more important than just entertaining us on KZbin/twitch. This year has been brutal, on top of any other struggles you’re going through, so do what’s best for you, always. I’ve definitely been through feeling lost, overwhelmed, directionless or just having no idea what you’re “supposed” to be doing, or having an idea of what you’re “supposed” to be doing, but having no idea exactly how you’re supposed to do it. Sending lots of positive energy and support to you, and I know that you’ll be able to get through it in time. These things ebb and flow, and, hey, you’re still putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually you’ll get to exactly where you’re supposed to be. I’ve only recently stumbled across your channel a few weeks ago, and it’s been awesome! I really appreciate you and your content, and I’m truly wishing you the best. Again, if you ever need to unburden yourself, I’m always willing to lend an empathetic ear! That goes for anyone who may be reading this comment too! We’re all in this world together, so what better thing can we do than support one another when things are hard?

[@TheDeconstructivist]

I have been very close to two different people who suffered from depression. One sought help, one did not. The one who did not was lost to suicide several years ago. The one who sought help is still going strong. Depression in all it's forms is very real and very serious. Certainly the COVID quarantine has made this worse for many people around the globe. I direct this to anyone who reads it: if you are depressed, reaching out for help the first time is always the hardest, it gets easier over time. So, if you can make yourself do it just once, you've already taken the hardest step. You'd do it if you had a sinus infection, so do it for this. There is NO SHAME in it. Reaching out for help could save your life and save those who love you from the suffering of losing you. Life is worth living and if you EVER forget that, there are people who can remind you. Seek them out. You are not alone.

[@terrymcginnis1990]

Find a routine that works for you... I know that's easier said than done. I've been trying to find something that works for me for the last 3 years and i haven't gotten any closer either. And running into a wall everytime is definitely the opposite of motivating. But i keep telling myself that as long as i keep trying, as long as i keep taking steps forward that i'll eventually get somewhere... some days i believe that more than others. Know that despite your struggles you make great content. A lot of people love what you do, enjoy it and are grateful for it. I don't know if that helps you, but i do hope that it can give you a bit of light in a dark moment.

[@saran5307]

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about your mental health struggles. Your audience appreciates that way more than putting on an act and pretending everything is okay. At the end of the day, we care about your mental well-being and want you to be okay. Do what you need to do. We are here and we support you.

[@alds9729]

I also feel different everyday....sometimes i have a handle on my emotions then i feel helpless and round and round we go! thank you for shedding light on the issues! you are a trooper

[@robertguy9553]

As someone who has struggled with depression for decades, watching your RVB reactions helps me get though the day. Thank you

[@TheRikaido]

Yeah girl, I understand you, I had the same and although today I think I had a remission, I doubt it whenever I have a relapse, but it is possible to feel better, there is always a tomorrow, so don't give up! If I didn't give up ... you sure can do it! Btw I am one of the people who started watching you because of bloodborne, got me because I always wanted to see what the reaction of a person falling into a Lovecraftian nightmare would be like, when I played the first time I already expected it all from the game , but seeing someone parachute into it seems to me what a bloodborne adventure really should be.

[@shadowknight4209]

We feel you, and some days can be hard but you need to stay strong. Take your time with things and make progress with the little thing, and eventually you'll get to the bigger things. We are apart of your community, and stand by and respect what you do. Do your best and do what you can handle, thats all anyone can ask.

[@drndrfnz8786]

Take care of yourself and never give up. Just by posting this vid shows how strong you really are. Lots and lots of love.

[@HermanPinedo]

You have no idea how much I can relate to the things you talked about in the video. Thanks for uploading this. I’m doing better than I was before but it never feels like it’s a guarantee that I’ll be okay the next day. Also I know I pester you about streaming with Tofu but other than it being something that’d be cool to watch I think it would also lift you up, at least for that day, to have fun with someone just playing a game. I hope things work out for you in the long run and that you’ll be stronger when it comes to dealing with these things. You’re awesome Ele! Stay RAD 😊

[@RichardChiang120]

I always believe people who are not afraid of openly talking about their weakness are actually strong. I can definitely relate to what you're going through, you are not alone. But what matters is, we are still alive and just keep moving forward with life. Really enjoyed your video!

[@fabriziopiccolo5646]

I was recommended the video too and I didn't comment it just because I feared to reopen a closed wound. I've been through it myself. And it's over. ;) I had to change some things in my life but luckily not that much, it was mostly inside my head. Good friends are probably the most important thing and even though you are very lucky to have so many people expressing positive feelings for you on the web I'd definitely focus more on real life, due to its natural limits the web is quite a cold place... and plenty of asshats that just pass by, spread their toxic waste and leave. Seek the warmth of real human contact, for that is what your instincts need. Suffering isn't normal, understanding this was the first step to my real recovery. A big, HUGE hug all the way from Italy. :) Ps: all I can say about you looking horrible in that video is: no make up test passed! Really gorgeous, and I'm a handsome guy with high standards. u.u ;D

[@GiantUltron]

I been through a lot for the past 3 years & my health has played a role too. These are trying times. I'm doing online classes remotely so I could see what my options are for June. Didn't watch the whole video...i broke down myself. You're worth everything. Pursue you're dream & don't give up. As bad as Covid is I think all of us are proud to get through this together. Take your time. Get your mind right & pursue your dream. I've been a fan of you fo a while but I feel more attached now than usual. Much love & stay safe

[@bloodwolfgaming9269]

I hope you are doing well Ele. Sometimes, just taking a break from things and stepping back to collect your thoughts and all that is a good call to make. I see a lot of KZbinrs/Streamers make comments to their viewers about how they feel like total shite and a massive let down if they don't make posts/videos on a regular basis for their viewers to watch but the fact of the matter is, sometimes you do need to take a break and gather yourself. Never think it is a bad call to put making content on pause to take care of matters you may be dealing with. Sending you virtual hugs and well wishes that things will get better for you. Stay strong and know that everyone is here for you.

[@tyrellsmith5346]

Appreciate you making this video. I was one if those people because I recently subscribed and KZbin showed me that video and I didn't realize it was from so long ago until after I posted a comment. And my words continue to offer anything possible, from person to person. I'm a complete strangers, but if you ever need someone to talk to, know you have someone here. Depression is an infectious disease, one that can corrupt and destroy you from the inside, and it feels like no one can understand. It isn't something that should be endured alone. All blessings to you, hope things get better for you.

[@willjenkins191]

Thank you for being so open Ele, I know its not easy but you’re helping more people than you know! I’m glad you’re not worse Ele, hope you start to feel better soon, sending you lots of strength, you’re never alone!❤️

[@JAUDIO2179]

Very surprised and moved by your words in this video. I myself have been feeling what you have been going through and it's also good to know you're ok and staying optimistic. I don't comment much on videos but i enjoy your Bloodborne playthrough and i like your personality. You're doing a great job with your channel don't over think it! That's what I say you're doing something good with giving people like myself something to watch and follow you on your journey to complete games you're interested in and it's different from anyone else. Watching this video hit home but also made more optimistic about what's to come in the future. Keep up the great work and take your time Ele you are amazing and thank you for being upfront on what's going on with you, it's really inspiring in world like today.

[@peterstevenson8199]

You are literally my new favourite human. Loving the bloodborne viddies and just bingewatched the life is strange season 1 , your playthrough was quite different to mine so that was a good watch , just gotta say when your nervous you laugh and when you laugh I laugh and when I laugh I feel very joyful which is few and far between as of late so thank you.

[@miserablepileofsecrets]

I hope you get better soon. I've been stuck with depression since June 2019 and I hope you get out of this before me

[@GMan-ku9wg]

I do think mental health should be made more light of as more people suffer from it than you would think, so this video is great. You really should do more of them so we get a bigger understanding of what's going on. I was in a dark place once and almost lost a job because of it, I ended up on a confidence and assertiveness course and it help to fix me. I do sometimes get some moments though but never slip back. Mental health is a big deal and even more so in these dark times and I don't think enough attention is made of it, it's good to know how you are, keep up the great work.

[@alliandrablack7751]

I can relate to quite a lot of what you talked about in this video, especially about discerning whether your mental state is because of the events over this last year or just internal struggles. Bloodborne certainly brought me here (I have an addiction and I'm perfectly fine with that,) but I'm happy to have found your channel. I'm excited to browse your playlists cause you clearly have good taste in games. But ya gotta take it a bit easier on yourself cause you are definitely not playing Bloodborne poorly.

[@R.D.Burman]

Hey Ele although it's a difficult subject to talk about and share with us, know that we see how brave you are and what a positive person you are, which comes across very clearly for us. We're proud of you and always will be. I know some days you get this strength coming through and all seems fine and then like a switch the depression kicks in other days. Loneliness is a big player and also confusion and questions of why and how. I too have been going through this struggle of depression, stress and anxiety... things piling up for a few years and kind of coming to a head in 2020 with 3 or 4 breakdowns. Head throbbing and tears flowing not knowing why... It was very very bad. I have noticed that everytime I have been feeling very low someone has come into my life to help me through a reassuring talk.. from people whom I've not known before. I see them as Angel's and it's why I'm a lifelong member of your channel Ele. I've watched a number of your uploads which I liked alot and always look forward to new vids but it was the couple of vids that you added earlier talking about the depression that stayed with me because I was going through the same thing in my life in 2019 & 2020 and could relate to your comforting words and sadness. I've mentioned before you are my favourite youtuber :-) I love your uploaded content which is amazing. Your personality seems to be the mirror image of mine and coming across your channel (when I was at my lowest point last year) has helped me alot as it brings me happiness. I can drop in here when one of those dark days pop up and I feel not so great. Last year it was month upon month, week after week of depression. The month after month and week and week is not there anymore. Things do improve over time. A day feeling depressed can still come along now and again but stay positive, stay strong and I believe all will be better soon. For me two coincidental things happened... one after the other... Both in a timely manner... I came upon the what and why (answers) to the depression happening to me and the other coming across your channel and seeing those vids of yours, both helped and gave me positivity and strength. :-) Regards forthcoming uploads it doesn't matter how long it takes we'll always be here waiting patiently as you have a strong dedicated following who cares because we know you care about us and your channel alot. Remember health comes first and always keep smiling.

[@joevitale3770]

We all struggle with mental health in some form at some point. What matters is how we get through it and that we’re able to pick ourselves back up. Take care Ele and much love 💕

[@bhuntin08]

I gotta say that when I stumbled across your channel, I was in a not so great place myself. Seeing you had just started a bloodborne playthrough was kinda cool and I really enjoy that game so I figured I'd give you a shot. I'm so glad I did. Your reactions and everything for your first playthrough remind me so much of my own. It's like I'm getting to experience the game again for the first time all over again. That's such a rare gift to be able to give someone; a first time experience with something they already love! That being said, I subscribed and I love your channel. Not that I suspect that you will read this comment out of the 550+ others on this video... but if you do ever get to a point where you feel you need to talk to someone, I want you to know that even though I'm just an internet stranger I would absolutely talk with you about anything, or even just listen. Whatever it might be that you may want to talk about, I promise there would no judgment, my full undivided attention, and total support. I know what depression feels like as well and possibly there's things I could suggest that may help. Please reach out to me even if you think it seems like a crazy thing to do and all that, I'm here for you.

[@joker0874]

Mental health is very very complicated and scary at times I know this seems cheesy however one of my favorite quotes is “ it can’t rain all the time” you’re a great person ❤️

[@1981Speedwagone]

You really have made a difference. There is a reason what you do is special, and why you stand out amongst so many others, and that is how genuine and authentic you are in all you do. You are in fact a truly excellent communicator, because your expressions convey what words cannot. You are one of the few whom is completely genuine on this platform, and I really appreciate all you do, and look forward to sharing more good times, and being there for you when times are tough. I'm just some schlub from Colorado, and I want you to know you have made a genuine impact with me, and I really appreciate all that you do, and we'll all be there when you need to let things out to us. A wise youtuber once said, "our subscribers are our therapy" and we are here for whatever you need to let out, be it something real or your plays or reactions, we share everything with you, and all those mini nukes you have truly impacted truly appreciate you.

[@johnhelfrich977]

I joined very recently, with your Bloodborne videos, so I'm kinda new here but I related to everything that you said here, so I just wanted to say that you seem like a really strong person, and a global pandemic is a really bad time to get through mental stuff, and honestly it seems kinda miraculous to me that your mental health hasn't gotten worse since 2019. I use stuff like netflix and youtube, and most recently your channel in a big way by going back through your old videos, to get through my own stuff and I've really been enjoying your videos and the erratic upload schedule hasn't affected that at all. I hope you do whatever you need to keep yourself from sliding down the sadness hole, and I know that I personally will keep supporting your channel no matter what.

[@cjellio]

I had recently beaten Bloodborne and came across your playthrough. I think you had only uploaded the first video. I've seen that video pop up in my recommended. Glad to see this update from you. You're right. It's okay to not be okay. One day at a time. Hope whatever day you see this is a good one, and the next one, and so on and so on. But if not....well there's always tomorrow. Looking forward to the rest of bloodborne and life is strange.

[@NeverSainted]

As someone who suffers from Isolation, depression and anxiety since long before the pandemic I totally understand the ups and downs of life on a daily basis. I’m not okay, but I’ve learned to except that and just keep pushing forward. Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay not to be okay.

[@andre567]

Hope you get better on your terms and find yourself having fun on your job. You are really great at it (you are not a bad gamer at all) and hope this next year is more gentle for you than the last

[@mirvmn2]

I lost my way a few years ago but now I feel stronger than ever and started a new chapter in my life. It's difficult and hard times these days with everything going on around the world, that's why it's more important than ever that we focus on ourselves, family and friends and take care of each other. Depression is a hard thing to deal with so take ur time, don't feel any pressure and let the love from ur fans make u stronger. Always remember that ur never alone. I wish u the best and hope things will get better for u.

[@danbcfc23]

I feel you so much since I left school in 2017 I’ve never had friends never had a group of friends out of school to hang around with and with lockdown restrictions becoming harder and harder my social activities that kept me going was chucked away broke me, KZbin especially played a major part and if anything your channel LIFTED MY SPIRITS! I am a very insecure person and I struggle to communicate with my mental health, I just wanted to say Thankyou for everything you do, not just for us but for you, THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU! we appreciate and we love you ♥️🙏 Stay Strong Ele

[@finalheaven5188]

I 100% know how you feel Ele as I have been the same for around a year, probably more! But you can get through this, you're not alone! It does make me sad when you say you have no real friends though, I'm also from the UK and if there are ever any places you want to visit, it would be an honour to accompany you as a friend, as I feel nobody deserves to be alone! I know you don't know me personally but hey, that's how friendships start right 😊 Loving your videos, don't over do it, take your time, don't feel pressured to keep to a schedule, nobody here is going to rush you for content, being yourself and your health, wellbeing are just as important to us viewers as the content you create, even more so in my opinion as without you being you, we wouldn't have the videos to watch to start with! Take it easy Ele, stay rad 😊

[@ladyfox6705]

I'm a new 2021 subscriber, but have anxiety and depression and my few friends are all overseas/far away. My daughter lives far away. It's really, really hard being alone, and the pandemic hasn't helped with that. Big virtual hug to you, Ele, and take care🙋❤ I will take care of me, too. We need to be our own best friends, and remember to also be KIND to ourselves 🙌

[@GrimmReaper7165]

Thanks for the update. If you ever need to talk, vent or whatever my DMs are always open. FYI, your videos are a bright spot in my day. Keep up the great work.

[@gracranford4517]

As a fan, and fellow human being, I hope everything gets better for you. Please take your time, and do you.

[@ShizumaKusanagi]

Know this is a few months too late but, I just found your channel via Marz and one thing that really struck me is you are someone that really expresses yourself in a genuine manner in your videos, you weren’t someone acting a certain way for views. While I’m sure everyone who watches your videos loves when you upload, I’m also sure everyone wants your time when you need to take your time on things. Your words in this video definitely hit a chord in me. Appreciate you making this video and sharing!

[@nycfranco6562]

I understand wat u goin through been in the same place, hopefully all gets better for you

[@hazelchai2258]

You take care of yourself girl, if there is anything I learned in life it's that holding back your emotions just hurts ten fold. This pandemic in particular has taken its awful toll in all of us, if you need to cry then cry, if you need to rage then rage. Addressing these feelings is perfectly fine, in fact it's necessary. I appreciate the lofi beats in the background, it's what I listen to almost every day when I encounter the emptiness, it makes your channel feels at home. Giving you my best wishes, take all the time you need and may the future be brighter for you.

[@Narutoanime16g]

Take your time with everything and I hope things do get better for you, for me I haven't been out of my house much at all aside from some smalls stuff but since im gonna be starting a new job soon I'm happy to just be going outside to do something even tho I can't see my friends yet. Your a strong person imo take care of yourself and we all love you

[@lprules619]

I myself can relate to you when it comes to having no friends or at least having people around you're comfortable talking with. The only social interactions I have are either on Xbox or at work, which the latter isn't really a better option because they're not really in my age group. Anyway, I hope you'll be ok soon but if you need time to heal, take all the time you need.

[@Darkmattermonkey77]

Aww.... I just found your reaction videos and just finished the posted red vs blue series. :(. Take care of yourself and come back when AND if you’re ready. Thank you for the work you’ve posted to date and I hope nothing but the best for you in the future! P.S. As someone who deals with it and tries very hard to help others with it, your comments are indicative of depression. You should try to find someone/anyone to talk to about how you’re feeling. It doesn’t always have to be a professional. Sometimes it just takes a really good friend to listen and make you laugh. If you have anyone you can open up to in your life, reach out to them and open a dialogue. If you don’t have a close friend able to do so, you might try a professional. Take care of yourself. You do have a great personality and qualities that people appreciate. I hope you find a way from the place you’re in and back to a happier spot in your life. If that’s not online, so be it. Your own happiness is ALWAYS more important than anyone else’s first. Ok? Ttfn.

[@M.I.A_07]

Completely get where you’re coming from. Sort of a stage of limbo between worse and better, good and bad. Remember you’re not alone! It’s completely okay to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Hurts to hear that you really are down sometimes, but sending love! The dark phases of depression can really be quite difficult to climb out of, I’m right there with you but we can give each other strength! We’re here for you and take your time to go through the oceans of emotions or mental hurtles. Hope you will always keep trying and continue to find strength within yourself. Take care of yourself, love.

[@uthblapanope5802]

Thank you so much for posting this. For keeping us updated, and for normalizing not being okay. Just as you're rooting for us, we're rooting for you. Know that even when you're feeling floating and stuck, you're really not! Working on coping with your conditions and finding your balance is still a movement, you're still moving forwards, towards feeling better. Also, I don't think you need to apologize to us for your uploads: do what you feel like doing! If one week you need more time for yourself, take it! We'll understand!

[@Lokingh5086]

You have a friend in all of us and it's all understandable where your coming 4rom. Much love and patience. I know we all appreciate what you do and when reality hits you in a certain way always the time you need 2 yourself.

[@mikeyangyang8816]

I can’t assume why you are feeling so anxious, but your videos sure helped other people to feel comfortable, like me : ) If you need break, understand that your channel and you created a little community that support you, and it’s ok to stop a bit.

[@gustavomontaguth923]

Aunque no me entiendas, espero que puedas superar este momento complicado, yo sufro de ansiedad y se lo dificil que es vivir con una enfermedad mental, mucho animo, eres mi youtuber favorita.

[@ticopv284]

Esperemos que se encuentre bien :)

[@MattyJamesNorth]

Love the messege. Being fairly new to the channel I've been watching the bloodborne series and imo you're very personable enjoying what you're doing which definitely attracted me to watching you play. I clicked on this video not really sure I was going to be able to connect but I feel you on so many levels. It's one thing to be extremly sad then be happy, but it's another to constantly be lost and consistantly sad then have to find enough strength to be happier and pull yourself out of it over and over. Curtian things in life just will bring you back to where you started and it's just a journey of knowing what was worth it against those unknowns. Want to thank you for caring to try to turn a video about you into also helping others. Opened up my eyes on alot of things that bring me down just listening to you, maybe not solutions but paths and ideas and also being at piece with a choice(s). Thanks your trying to encourage people through struggles. Keep that head high! Love your weekly vids will definitely keep watching! -your fan Matt

[@BringMeThatHorizon2000]

I'm a bit late here as I only just recently discovered your channel but I really resonated with your depiction of yourself having and not feeling grounded. I hope you find your way and know that we, your viewers, will support you nonetheless. If you are going through hell, keep going.

[@thenonillusive1769]

The battle against that darkness is exhausting. I know that when fighting it's easy to forget that we're experiencing life through a veil and that there is a better way to see this existence. I feel for you and know how draining it can be to keep up the battle. You are not alone, and can overcome this. You're a badass.

[@shakycam3]

KZbin creators have really helped me during this pandemic. I never would have believed it. But I’m coming up on a year of being isolated with my two cats. You guys make me feel less alone. Plain and simple.

[@TheLanguageSponge]

In situations like this, whether it be the pandemic or anything else that may be bringing you down, just focus on yourself and getting from one day to the next and don’t pressure yourself to keep to a schedule. I know channels that have disappeared for years, but the second the person decides to come back, it’s like they never left. Record when it makes you happy and only then. You seem like a really genuinely lovely person and I like your videos a lot. But, I personally don’t ask how you are because I don’t know you personally and I therefore don’t feel like it’s any of my business. That part might come from the fact that I have Asperger’s, which often gives me the feeling of ‘for God’s sake give me some bloody space!’ I sometimes feel like when people ask you how you are all the time, it highlights the problem for that person. So I don’t ask. Cheers Nuka. Good luck :)

[@manospapad2087]

The algorithm recommended to me your first Bloodborne video so even though it does recommend weird stuff from time to time it helped me find your channel and I've really enjoyed your playthrough and your personality so so much. I understand what you're going through since I'm in a similar place mentally and I sincerely hope you get better.

[@whitecrow4982]

There are so many things in life that we have no control over & there are just as many things that we have to do...but don't want to. This is why, when it comes to the things that we do in our free time, they should NEVER be the source of stress or anxiety. Like others have said, sometimes taking a break from the things that you can, when they're bringing you down or making you feel confused & conflicted is the best thing you can do for yourself. If at some point you miss one or more of them then just take your time & ease back into them. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Btw, if one of the things you still feel drawn to is your channel, just know that there will always be a whole lot of people here to support you.

[@AudioXVNVXTheNightLife]

Nothing but love and light for you Ele!

[@yukiyukari77]

I kinda understand how you feel. I have trouble feeling like everything is meaningless and going to bed at night hoping to not wake up in the morning. Hope you feel better, homie. Keep your head up.

[@karolytakacs214]

We are in same situation with this pandemic and really makes me happy when I watching you play my favorite game Bloodborn. Do it when you filing yourself ready, don't need to rush. I will be patient. Hard to see upset a beautiful nice girl like you.

[@movienaut]

I wanna thank you, Nuka, because Im not feeling okay either. Many times Im don't feel okay with my life, but mostly its allways because I think Im the only one that is having a problem, but hearing from other people that they are not living in a perfect bubble, makes me feel more okay, since Im not alone with my problem. But still, whenever you don't feel good, allways reach to the ones that are ready to listen to you!

[@hf117j]

I love watching your RvB reactions. I know how copyright is rough on RT stuff. Yet you still do it. It's great to see, I'm still noticing new details. Also I absolutely love that you know the gear. There are people I've seen that don't pay attention to what they're supposed to be reacting to, and it's frustrating to see that. But you actually notice things when you watch. You seem like a great person. Do what you have to to stay well. Also, I would kinda love to see you play through Halo, even though it probably won't be a blind playthrough

[@mooglesandwich8312]

Im newer to the channel but dude if there's anything we can do as a community please don't hesitate to ask. I can't speak for everyone but I get the feeling we just want you to be happy. I love your channel and exploring your vids while working or building my stupid gundam models or even just relaxing has been dope. Just take care of yourself we shouldn't come before your health and happiness. Nobody's gunna die if you lax a bit and upload when you can on a less strict schedule and if anything that will make us more eager for when your new videos come out to dive into them. Thanks for providing us with awesome content but please take care of yourself as well. We gotchu homie 😁👌🏽

[@calvnc23]

I have always enjoy watching your videos from the past to the present. Stay strong, and in due time hopefully everything is well in place with you.

[@tombrown1352]

Its videos like this that shows people there is a person behind the persona, and people feel, have emotions. @Nukaele Mental health isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign you tried to stay strong for too long, you have a great fan base we all wish you well In all aspects, I'll always send fan art too. Keep well we are with you

[@the5thmusketeer215]

My Daughter goes through the same thing... I’ve often asked her to contact me whenever she’s feeling down - any time, night or day - because I’ve been there myself at different times in my life, and almost took my own life more than once, so I know how it feels... I even joined ‘The Samaritans” when I was younger, for that very reason - so people who felt down, desperate and alone, could talk to someone who really cared and understood... But, for whatever reason, my own Daughter never seems to take me up on my offer - which makes me feel kind of useless and redundant, considering I’m her Dad and all... 😔

[@ethanhaymond4457]

Your videos are one of the things that make my days just that little bit brighter that can turn a bad day good. But more than that I just hope you can find peace and true happiness. Life is a journey and a struggle at times but I truly believe that you can do it!!!!!

[@onesquirrel2713]

Stay strong. From my personal experience, things might not get any better, but you get better at dealing with the shit that life throws at you.

[@Oddlydew]

I’m your friend🤍 Hope you’re okay Ele, I can relate to so much in this video. Uploading and editing at this time is so draining and my upload schedule has been all over the place too because I don’t wanna record while I feel rubbish. Everything’s just been all over the place, overthinking things and comparing myself to others. Content creation is really tough and it’s a lot harder than others make it out to be. Thank you for making this honest video. I hope we get the freedom we all want soon. One day we’ll be back out there and doing what we feel like. Hopefully one day I’ll be there doing some of that with with you💕

[@kurtcobain1981]

i just finish last of us 2 and got recomended that video two. just take whatever time you need or maybe slow down on your schedul. plez just take care of yourself don't push yourself too hard and i don't know much about mental breakdown but i feel like being around love one (whoever they are) can help. stop hiding in your house im sure a lot of people would love to know you better or spend time with you. sending you good vibe from canada !! :) take care

[@jaymorales4724]

I hope so!

[@TheWannaramble]

I am sending my support - you have the most relaxing/soothing voice, I'm sure my heart rate and blood pressure has gone down since I started watching your video - thanks.

[@xking2476]

First off you don't nor did you ever look bad at all. Secondly, I hope you feel better about things. I can def relate to how you feel..take care of your mental health. Nothing but prosperity and health upon you. Ps Thank you for the work you do on this channel. Love ya!

[@bladedwillus7121]

Nuka you don't have too go though this alone, your fans will always have your back though these hard times, the video's you make bloodborn, RVB & others videos gives them joy & laughter though this pandemic, never give up Nuka

[@chinothepony]

Ele, thank you for being so honest. This is not easy for you to admit whatever internal struggles you're still going through. Would you mind sharing what your dreams are? So that we can all be here for you in whatever capacity to help you make these dreams into plans. Much love, Jack. P.S. One thing I suggest you do if you aren't doing it already, is go on a walk and spend some time with yourself. Sometimes we think we are facing ourselves when we work on our lives. But really it takes actually just spending some moments in the quiet with yourself to help clear through the clouds.

[@bena.3763]

Sorry to hear your story will be praying for you!!! You are amazing always know that!!!

[@drb6771]

I struggle with social anxiety and depression as well. Everyday is a struggle, some are worse than others. I want you to know watching your videos helps me so much to get away from all of it. Stay strong Ele, you are an extremely talented and beautiful woman.

[@tinysophie2566]

I was nodding my head for 99% of the things you were saying, I understand completely. Don't push yourself to record and upload if you're struggling, put your health and safety first over everything (which I know can be hard af but we gotta do it). You got this

[@yxngbasq2042]

INFINITE LOVE TO YOU ELE! love every vid, the effects of lockdown has been crazy. time becomes blurry repeating the same actions over and over specially with no security. it sucks tbh. i relate. nothing and nothing but love to you tbh. We all gonna support from all the medias. find a way you call your own and feel comfortable in. life's a rollercoaster, you're an amazing streamer, you've got me through bad times more than enough

[@rcp225]

As a recent subscriber to your channel, please allow me to say this: I am not intimately familiar with the video to which you are referring, but as a former teacher and fellow human being, there is nothing wrong with the way you communicate or articulate - AAMOF, it's the main reason I joined your channel (I was absolutely blown away by your "The Last of Us" play-through...don't know why it took me so long to subscribe). I am deeply sorry you are going through this. I think all of us are feeling it in some way or another. I've been somewhat depressed myself. But just know this - there are a lot of people that love you. Think of it this way; We'll all go through this together...YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE!!!

[@tombra3059]

I found your channel by your resident evil 8 demo walkthrough. I subscribed because your exactly my type of individual. Im looking into most of your uploads since than. Im from Germany and wish you the best of everything possible over there. 🇩🇪🌍🌏🖤

[@pagoda11]

Thank you for your words. Keep the great work. Greetings from Mexico.