OCD Secondary Fears and 'What if' Questions

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We not only deal with symptoms of OCD, sometimes we deal with secondary fears that are almost as debilitating as the OCD itself. What if therapy doesn't work for me? What if therapy proves my obsessions are real? What if therapy proves I am a monster? What if because I don't have anxiety associated with the thoughts, that means I like them?!?!
Tune in as I discuss these fears. You are not alone!

[@calebbaker6423]

I swear when I don’t react with anxiety it makes me feel like “OMG why am I not anxious, is it because I like the thoughts” now Ik that I am getting better.

[@dmn4747]

SAME> I was raised in a very conservative and religious community and I was always told that if you have a thought and feel PEACE it means God has given you the thought and it's true/going to happen. That didn't affect me AT ALL. (insert crying and eye roll face). It's only just now that I realized it's just the absence of anxiety.

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

It was like that with me too! Not even joking, that seriously happened to me!

[@AshCash9900]

Everything, literally EVERYTHING you said resonated with me. I have totally derailed my progress by being disturbed that the intrusive thoughts didn't have the same power over me as it once did. Then, of course, I would freak out and wonder "why do I still have these thoughts but not as bothered by them" then followed by "omg they must be true". I also feel depressed and anxious that "what if I find out in therapy that this isn't OCD". Thank you for the encouragement!

[@CureCreation]

What a nice lady, already feeling better just by looking at her.

[@Itachi-rl9xg]

OCD HAS RUINED MY SOCIAL LIFE! I ALSO CAN'T BE PRODUCTIVE!

[@maxwellcooper5359]

YOU HAVE BEEN A GOD SEND!!!!!! I am starting treatment because of you. I used the IOCDF website to find a provider. NEVER would have known about it without you. Thank you!

[@theboogie_monsta]

Thanks Chrissie. I'm about 6 months into therapy and just started to take ERP up a level; it was quite dark before but just got a lot darker. I really appreciate how free and easy you are in your videos, funny and spontaneous. I have a similar way of talking and a side-effect of OCD is a sort of effort to be more serious and intellectual about everything. Like others have said it's just relaxing to watch you reflect back in such a relaxed and cheerful way. One of the media stereotypes of OCD is that people with it are uptight, perfect, with buzz cuts and pens sticking out of their shirt pocket. This was a secondary thought that stopped me getting treatment for a year or two - that I can't really have OCD, cuz I'm always late, broke, saying crazy things for lols. I've been relieved a number of times watching your videos and seeing another nut bag raving at the camera.

[@grandmabertha8724]

you have saved my life

[@karenkalasy8251]

She makes me feel normal!!!

[@Samantha-rt5nz]

i’m 99% positive i have pocd i’m getting therapy for it so i’m not actually diagnosed first (i’ve also had signs of ocd before this but this is the most intense one i’ve had) but my parents (dad specifically) doesnt believe that it’s ocd or anxiety. which i know he’s only trying to help but when i’m having moments where i start spiraling with what if’s and questioning who i am and my intentions and everything that keeps replaying cause obviously intrusive thoughts and ocd hold on to anything they can to make u believe they’re real. i’m only 14, before all this i wanted to be a mom so bad and i wanted to help foster kids and if i was gonna go to college i wanted to go for child development/child phycology. i don’t want any of that anymore i get so uncomfortable around kids i don’t want to be around them at all. it all started cause i watched a dr phil video and then a bunch of videos about that specific dr phil case and then the what if’s came and here we are. i know i would never hurt children that’s not even the last thing i would do i just would never do it period. and i know that but my ocd/anxiety whatever it is, tells me i am it’s super frustrating. when i get an intrusive thought i try “maybe,maybe not” or “damn that’s crazy, anyways” and i try to move on and it does help with the intrusive thoughts but still the anxiety and uncomfortableness is still there. i’m really nervous for therapy but i really want help and to get better. thank you for your videos they’ve been really helpful🤍 (sorry if this comment is kinda everywhere and doesn’t make too much sense)

[@Samantha-rt5nz]

update lol. so i got therapy and i had a few sessions and he recommended me to nocd (which i’m very thankful for) but my ocd is now telling me that he actually thinks that i a pedofile and i’m just spiraling and it’s back at square one but with new themes of pocd, like if i see a kid and say they’re pretty i get freaked out and think it means that i’m actually attracted to them so everytime i see a kid now i keep questioning if i’m actually attracted to them or not even tho i know i’m not. it’s also super hard because this could’ve been avoided and i think about all the things i could’ve been doing so i wouldn’t have seen the video in my recommendation and get triggered and i start to think about how i could’ve been living my normal life right now if i didn’t watch what triggered me. it’s all just a viscous cycle. i really really hope i can finally get the help that i actually need so i can recover from this. like when my ocd isn’t like super distracting and i’m thinking rationally i know that there’s a light at the end of all of this and i know that i can get better and be my old self again but when i’m having ocd attacks it’s the opposite. like i would rather be dead right now cause i really don’t think i’m strong enough for this like it’s the worst thing u could be, and my ocd is trying to convince me of something i would never be in a million years.

[@samsan5159]

Your so good to make these videos. Very very useful 👍

[@winterseyfer9056]

Hey Chrissie, I am so confused. I have been suffering from something since about 7th grade. I constantly have doubts that it is HOCD though when I stumbled upon the description online and cried because I was so happy. There was this huge wave of relief that coursed through me. I used to have this strong voice that said "no you are straight." But I've been doing therapy and my therapist has been telling me that every woman is bisexual. So I've just been doubting everything. I'm 19, and I got out of a breakup with who I think is the love of my life (male) because of my anxiety. I was told to come out as bisexual but when I did I got this huge wave of sadness and it didn't feel right. I just had more questions of "I've never liked a girl, but does that mean all my friendships were crushes?" So. Much. Questioning. What should I do? I don't feel bisexual or gay, and I don't want to be. Every time I spike, I get a varying degree of severity panic attack. I'm in college and everyone is telling me my sexuality will figure itself out. However, I've only had crushes and relationships with boys (I think?). I've had very intrusive thoughts about kissing friends, or picturing their breasts, or thinking about having sex with women and it makes me want to throw up. I feel dirty, gross, and hate them. Every time I spike, it gets really hard to carry on normally and do my homework, go to class, see pretty girls. Is this HOCD? Or am I bisexual? Thank you. I'm sorry that was so long.

[@winterseyfer9056]

Also my sister is bisexual. I don't have a problem with that. I've talked to her about this, and since it has been an issue for such a span of time she thinks I'm probably bi-leaning, because very few people are fully straight in her opinion. That scares me so much.

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

They there Winter, thank you for reaching out. That is not something I can answer, but it sounds like you are having a great deal of anxiety at the thought of being gay or bisexual because it isn't something you innately desire. This is something an OCD specialist will be able to help you with if it is in fact HOCD. If you are looking for a therapist specifically for OCD, please make sure they practice Exposure REsponse Prevention (ERP) therapy. This is the evidence-based treatment for OCD, if a therapist doesn't use this, they can't treat nor do they understand OCD enough to help you find relief. I do consultations to help people find the right therapist in their area or teletherapy at www.treatmentforocd.com or you can go to the International OCD Foundation website at www.iocdf.org and search for therapists in your area. But please make sure the therapists practice ERP therapy if you are pursuing OCD treatment.

[@harunrazak7764]

+Chrissie Hodges/Pure OCD Advocate Hello Chrissie, I'd like to say that I'm glad i found your channel. I suffer from diverse types of OCD. I have ocd behavior of looking at the floor and writing on the floor with an imaginary pen in my mind or throwing mini sized turtle shells at the end of my couch. I have violent thoughts of throwing babies out of the windows or burning alive people and it is extremely disturbing. however, one major one that really bothers me is POCD. I had this since I watched a video on KZbin of a KZbin defending pedophilia and ever since then I went to sleep and I struggled to sleep because my mind kept on protecting images of children doing nasty staff and the thought of that churns my stomach. It's been carrying on for A couple of months, sometimes the ocd goes away and then it returns. Ever since, I involuntary and unwantedly sexualise children and repeat in my mind that I'm not a pedophile and this is not real. Just a few hours before commenting this, I felt suicidal because I couldn't take it. I know my pedophilia doesn't exist because I've seen children on their way to school on their child features just made me think it's disgusting and I'm absolutely no way attracted to this. In reality, I prefer people around the age of 15+ and I'm only 16. I have never experienced a hard erection when looking at a child or arousal so that's good news but my brain keeps on forcing me to think about children. Is this OCD? or am I a pedophile??? :-( :-( :-( I used to have transsexual OCD where I thought about putting female cosmetics and attire. I began questioning my gender but it later went away and no longer bothers me. I need your help to get rid of OCD because I've actually started to feel very depressed and upset. Btw, at the age of 6, I was sexually molested by a 15 year old. I was manipulated into giving him fellatio and it was disgusting. I was also forced to put an electric toothbrush in... yh you can figure that out. Could this have something to do with my OCD. Thank you for reading this. I hope you respond soon xxx.

[@ta_nya5240]

I'm not sure if this will help you at all with what you're experiencing, but I just have to say that about 70% of all people, male and female, have bisexual interests. It's really nothing out of the ordinary. Of course, if thoughts you're having give you a hard time, that's something that should be looked at. I can only share my personal experience and hope that the information can help you arrange your thoughts. I didn't want to be gay. I still don't really. And I still remember that I broke down crying the first time I let myself consider that I might be gay. It felt like a truth was hitting me over the head. I was quite old already, 22, when I figured myself out. Mind you, my sexual orientation is extremely rare. I didn't even have a word for it for a very long time. I don't really remember how I finlly came across the word "girlfag" for the first time, but when I did and did some research on it, I found that "that's me". It was not easy to understand and accept what I was feeling. Am still feeling today. But the thoughts and feelings I'm having do not aggravate me. I will sometimes think "why am I like this?", but the thoughs and urges I'm having don't bother me at all. They are what floats my boat and I can work with that. I wonder if this is helpful for you in any way. 😅

[@alr.3137]

Winter Seyfer my first therapist (a gay guy) basically told me that I should experiment and find out if I'm gay, bi, straight etc. Thank God I didn't experiment, but I did masturbation experiments which was harmful enough. The worst thing one can do Someone with HOCD, is to encourage them to experiment with their sexuality... even the suggestion itself traumatized me to this day

[@lizutz7369]

Do you do consults? Your videos are making me feel like I’m Not alone in this! Thank you

[@fckyouall9895]

I am constantly obsessed with death and dying.. what if I die if I do this.. what if I'm dying but I just don't know it.. what if my death will be painful and scary... what if I'm gonna get an allergic reaction.. what if I have cancer... what if I'm gonna get really sick... etc... I also worry about 'the possibility' of being gay, I worry about not being able to love anyone... I worry about the world coming to an end... I'm an atheist but sometimes I worry that I made the wrong choice and I will end up in hell.. When someone gets sick and doesn't get better I feel it's MY fault, I should be able to heal that person... I worry about the way I look... I don't know if anyone will read this but living with intrusive thoughts is absolutely terrible...

[@erismara9099]

I was scared to watch the video but i feel good now ✌

[@albertfigueroa11]

So on point 💯💯💯

[@soniczforever5470]

I don't think I have ocd but i am very sensitive about articles and I read one that said if I was naturally small I would get brittle bone disease. I have huge fears around being fat and unfit and even being heavy. It has made me quite ashamed of my own body, I don't know what to believe anymore. I have enough on me to have kids but this torments me every day. It has made eating a misery but I am no fool and need to eat to live,

[@stevesanders6855]

Very helpfulness!!!😀

[@cosovic14]

Thank you for the video. I'm currently doing erp and I wonder " why should I choose to not do something about a fear if there's a chance it might be true " ? Logically I don't know how to answer this

[@anno227]

What if I have really caused a car crash? How do you expose yourself to something you think happened in the past?

[@kieranphillips7272]

After I went to court my life was over. I attacked people and possibly left someone for dead so I know where your coming from

[@love4airyka239]

This is not supposed to be offensive, but I think my ocd(if i have it) was triggered just now. I like your videos, keep awaring people😊

[@lauraska95]

Can people without OCD also get the groinal syndrome when having an intrusive thought (but then don't obsess about it?) 🤔🤔🤔

[@RivySara]

Watching from Italy ... Thank you very much for your help

[@from.alaina]

What if your fear is of chemicals? How do you expose yourself to chemicals? Like I’m afraid of paint (which is toxic), pesticides and harsh household cleaners.

[@Jazzzzer456]

I havent found after 50 years of ocd erp, cbt, act, meds, mindfulness therapy from over 15 ocd specialists including 2 top ocd specialists on the ocd foundatio board, that what this nice lady is saying, is true. I havent received any relief from my i somnia, constant panic attacks, bedriddeness, and every time I have talked with Any therapist and done a Full consultation, they insist that the other 12 therapists werent somehow performing erp, cbt, ie correctly, and to start treatment with them. I havent ever fou d one that said, keep your money, I cant help you. Thats just been my experience over 4 hours per day of daily suds level journals, weekly therapy. Eventually, one has to just say, this not only is not helping, its making things worse. I have chronic refractory ocd, so maybe Im an exception, but even after Ive told docs i have been diagnosed several times with ocd, they still wanted to take my money. Take care and god bless Hopefully your experience, recovery will be more favorable. I pray that it will.

[@alr.3137]

lespaul0009 maybe try deep-brain-stimulation I heard that it works with extreme cases

[@broojie8191]

God the Backdoor spikes always kill me. With HOCD and ROCD and I get thoughts that are the opposite of what I’m fearing “oh my god what if I don’t like girls” but then I feel the need to switch it to guys and then I fear I’m gay (I’m a woman btw guys) but then I fear I’m gay bc I had that thought about girls.

[@tommyslamp9227]

Omg yes I have tocd and suddenly I have these thoughts and it messes up with me cause I’m like yeah that’s exactly what I want then why am I scared about it even tho it’s true like im confused, feels so real

[@SianNadine]

Hey Chrissie do you have any information on OCD specialists in the UK

[@tincan444]

Hey Chrissie I'm currently suffering from HOCD and was wondering if you have an email or anything so I can talk to you more about it. Thank you

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

Tanner, I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier, have we chatted via email yet? My address is [e-mail]. I do resource/referral consultations and peer support sessions.

[@sobasically1819]

I always worry, if one thing happens, I think about all the bad things that could go wrong. For example, when I left my lunch bag in a classroom (which is not a big deal) but I began thinking about everything that could go wrong while my friends were just saying “It’s not a big deal”. For me, it was a HUGE deal, it was the BIGGEST deal. I also constantntly have voices in my head that tell me something bad will happen if I don’t close the door or something. I’m 10, should I talk to my parents and ask to see a physiatrist?

[@jimbizzlestudios8223]

Yes!! Hope you got the help you needed bro

[@cortneybocook1849]

I need help!

[@calebbaker6423]

And I have bipolar and HOCD

[@negasonicteenagewarhead5269]

Hi Chrissie, I have a question.. I have harmful ocd towards my family how would I do ERP? FYI in my country we don't have good therapists AT ALL

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

Hey there! ERP works with violent and sexual obsessions. Many therapists will help you learn how to expose you to the things you are avoiding or that cause you anxiety. For example, if you avoid the color red (blood), you would expose yourself to the color somehow until you desensitize to it. The more you would expose yourself to it, the more you can manage the anxiety. Then you'd slowly move up the hierarchy. I am not sure about therapists in other countries, but I do know that there are OCD specialists that will do phone/skype therapy so that could be an option. I would start by visiting the International OCD Foundation website at www.iocdf.org to get some of those questions answered. Also, visit www.ocdonline.com for more info on treatment for violent/sexual obsessions.

[@negasonicteenagewarhead5269]

thank you Chrissie.. I have read about ERP and watched many videos and I want to perform it but the problem is I don't have compulsions just scary thoughts its becoming hard and complicated and I feel like I lost control,, I am in a pickle here because I don't have compulsions to stop them I just sit there with my thought horrified, what should I do, its gotten too complicated to the point that this morning I had this random intrusive thought and I didn't have anxiety towards it and then I got more terrified because I thought that I might get crazy or be a criminal because the fear for this thought was gone for a moment.... HELP PLEASE PLEASE HELP

[@UnknownUser-vr7zj]

Is cbt okay

[@versatilehumanbeing6013]

help me please

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

Hey there, what's going on Randeep?

[@versatilehumanbeing6013]

Sexual intrusive thoughts are disturbing me wherever I go its become daily routine now for last 2 years please help me the way I am living life is living hell but what to do please help me I am not like that chrissie

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

Sexual intrusive thoughts are terrible to live with, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. There is effective treatment for OCD called Exposure Response Prevention which is part of cognitive behavioral therapy. Do you have access to therapists that may be able to provide you with this therapy? Here are some great websites for information: www.ocdonline.com and www.ocdbaltimore.com. The International OCD Foundation may be able to help connect you with a therapist as well. www.iocdf.org. I'm so sorry you are struggling--it is a tough thing to live with, but help is available!

[@versatilehumanbeing6013]

Is it treatable it feels like erection is taking place every time and my penis is moving where I go

[@dundunkamless490]

Should i avoid porn during ocd

[@jacobparson1114]

Always