Oddity Archive: Episode 105 - Home Shopping Channels

[@Larry]

There was a documentary over here a few years ago about people obsessed with shopping channels and a lot of them are old women who don't know how to use the internet and lonely people who leave the channel on all day as they feel like friends are visiting.

[@MistaSpookie]

Bundy Jr! Of course you watch Oddity Archive... Wicked videos lately by the way.

[@ScumSookar]

+Weegee The Famous Larry is literally everywhere, no matter how obscure.

[@jameslaidler4259]

Christ, I'm lonely, though not THAT far gone.

[@jameslaidler4259]

EAS TONES careful kid, might cut yourself on that edge.

[@ScumSookar]

EAS TONES What's your beef with Larry? Your free to your opinion, of course, I just find it strange. It's very hard to hate him.

[@warpedlogic1603]

I know you say in the show that people don't like the history segment, but honestly it's my favorite part

[@norbertoniebres1615]

Warped Logic I also love the history segments.

[@ChuckD79]

Same here...it's always fascinating, and more often than not, I end up finding out something I didn't know before on the subject in question!

[@louiseogden1296]

Mine too.

[@robertcarldecker]

Same

[@MrWolfSnack]

21:17 Just in case anyone doesn't know, the QVC pitchman is Mike Rowe, decade before his "Dirty Jobs fame.

[@cbehr91]

So is the guy on the box.

[@MrWolfSnack]

cbehr91 2.0 Yeah,he took a screenshot from that section.

[@crabbyoldgamer3028]

I copied Mike Rowe's pitch from this video in an audition for QVC. They didn't hire me.

[@Fuzy2K]

I heard they fired Mike Rowe three times. :P

[@artistwithouttalent]

I read that in the credits and was thinking, "THAT Mike Rowe?"

[@richardmyers3851]

Given how Ben introduces the history lesson, I must be among a minority who actually enjoys them on OA.

[@frankcabanski9409]

Everyone enjoys them.

[@daftoptimist]

Yeah, we all like them. Self-deprecating humor is Ben’s shtick.

[@meansquaretech]

Using the old support number for DIXV in your Home Shopping spoof was a nice touch.

[@JonesMediaMan]

meansquaretech You better believe I jist called it to see what would happen. As expected, it's disconnected.

[@8bits59]

I suppose that you mean DIVX?

[@VSigma725]

I'm kind of surprised you didn't mention one of the more interesting things about QVC: that they moved into the former headquarters of the Commodore computer company.

[@CrossoverGameReviews]

Got curious about QVC so I went to search to see what KZbin will turn up. Right at this moment, they are having a live stream with 35 people watching. Yeah, they ain't going away anytime soon.

[@ABCEasyas--]

Seriously, I’ve seen youtubers with 4-digit subscriber counts pull in more viewers in their live-streams,

[@BlackFlagHeathen]

Just looked them up and their stream has 336 watching right now. Probably all old ladies and Karens.

[@soonerterp]

1. Baby Ben (?) at 1:37 seems fussy. 2. I think I want the rabbit. 3. In the later years of her life, my mum kind of got hooked on QVC and just left it on the TV when there was nothing on she liked. She didn't buy a lot of stuff, though. My impressions of it were a. This stuff is crap; and b. It's overpriced and c. I would be more inclined to find the same thing locally and keep my money in town. As a result of this exposure when I'm programming my TV (no cable), I block out all the shopping channels. 4. Ben you've not made a terrible episode yet in 105 tries. Thanks always for your hard work.

[@Macho_Fantastico]

John & Johnny are legitimately entertaining.

[@TeeVeeGames]

I will always remember the Home Shopping Network as the company that took over my beloved U68 (a very low-budget music video channel here in the metropolitan NY area that used to be subscription-based WHT back in the early 80's.) But I can't say the random "toots" the on-air personalities gave callers wasn't bizarrely amusing.

[@JL-sm6cg]

I remember that goofy shit, too.

[@otaking3582]

11:26 As Marty McFly once said, "All the best stuff is made in Japan"

[@Launchpad05]

Like manga, which continues to kick DC, and Marvel's ass in comic sales.

[@okokoked]

To bad America's Auction Network didn't get included. It was always super creepy watching those guys try to auction off jewelry at 3am with no one calling in to place bids. The auctioneers would sometimes get pissed and start talking down to the audience to get them to call. Sleazy sales guys. Ah well, keep up the good work!

[@linkrulezall]

I can't decide whether this or that one Sonic livestream is the most spectacular live audio fuckup of all time

[@JL-sm6cg]

I used to remember the Telephone Auction Shopping Network. That guy blew through products. Thankfully, unlike HSC/HSN, just write down the item # and call in and you had a chance to get the product.

[@Kodocha7]

I lost my shit laughing at the hair stylist announcing that he "fell on his booty"

[@littlejon333]

You missed such a obvious joke with the pickle. "You can use this hole right here to tickle your pickle" I now need said pickle to throw at people and say that XD

[@ChuckD79]

Great episode...the clips were hilarious, as were the "ASC" wraparounds, and am impressed you actually gave a nod to the Home Shopping Game (which is largely unknown nowadays, except among hardcore game show fans like myself!).

[@velvetpilot2008]

15:53 I must be losing it cause I can't stop laughing at a porcelain jack rabbit with toothpicks for ears.

[@vivaeljason]

The guy breaking the sword is my all time favorite clip. Thank you, Benny Boy!

[@charliecatsantos8412]

In South Korea there's a Home shopping channels owned by the CJ E&M We called O shopping (Based in Seoul South Korea)

[@ThePhantomSafetyPin]

At 7:01, suddenly vaporwave.

[@Yeen125]

Fun fact: The co-founder of the Home Shopping Club/Network went on to try and create a "family friendly" television network. But that's a discussion for another episode.

[@AtlantaCommercials96]

Yes, it's called the PAX Network. I personally grew up with it and while it had some pretty cheesy shows I thought it was better than the re-run farm that it eventually became. But at least that shows some decent movies every once in a while.

[@atomic7196]

The same PAX Network that ran the Super Mario Bros. 3 cartoon?

[@newstarcadefan]

Yup that's the s ame PAX, who also had Supermarket Sweep, and Shop till you Drop.

[@TimelordR]

PAX Network became extinct soon after, it became Ion Television.

[@newstarcadefan]

TimelordR Yup...between Pax, and Ion...they were branded i: Independent Television.

[@1000huzzahs]

what do you mena "gotta" do the history lesson? And that you gotta keep it "brief"? Um, History Lesson Time is the BEST PART

[@procommentr]

Yet you call yourself Riff Chick. gg

[@daviddavenport1485]

Live, from some nondescript building in downtown Eugene, Oregon, it's the KZbin Shopping Network, where you can buy crappy stuff you don't even need at ridiculous prices from the comfort of your own iPhone!

[@rjskillz92]

apparently "wearing your pickle" is frowned upon at the local shopping mall.

[@Dannypuck]

I was half-expecting the phone number to be a phone sex line.

[@copperhamster]

I work for a cable company and I am asked why we have 2 shopping networks in our smallest cheapest package of 24 channels. Because we get paid for every customer who we deliver the service to. We also get a small percentage commission on all sales (split based on relative customer counts between every cable company and the dish companies covering our areas).

[@dallascurran]

this was the oddest oddity archive yet and I like it

[@TimelordR]

I'm sure had Ralph & Norton form The Honeymooners been around when the AVN was in business, they would have tried to sell those "Kitchen Handy Helper" gizmos on that very channel & still fail.

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

That old show Talk Soup, then later just The Soup, RIP, used to show insane clips from home shopping on cable TV. There was some reeeeal wacky stuff on those networks. The Soup was such a damn good show

[@DawnLynnCat]

I believe Home Shopping Networks are still alive because of the areas where people has trouble with high speed internet. Also my favorite blooper although not shown was the horse bit. Where they printed off a picture of a butterfly and thought it was a picture of a horse at first.

[@HappyJigg]

That was the best intro Ive ever seen one one of these episodes. Nice work!

[@TimelordR]

All those crass shopping channels not only plague Cable & Satellite TV, but also on Digital TV as well. It's only a matter of time those channels will accept Bitcoin.

[@GibusGang]

I have 7 lava lamps. Yes, they do get extremely hot at the aluminum base.

[@bethdibartolomeo2042]

I can remember watching HSC on channel 60 in the Chicago area back in the 1980s, it was interesting when there was nothing else to watch. I can still remember those Capadimonte (?) vases.

[@LuderSatan1]

That ladder-guy...... a legend!

[@celestemangonya]

Why does he have a ceramic pickle... that sounds like something my mom would have

[@unklejohn8575]

I called your 888 number, and DIVX had no clue what I was talking about.

[@huskobonsarune]

LOVED The Archive Shopping Channel. Great episode!

[@svinjamaria]

"How to get Pregnant- Step by Step" is one of the Up Next videos. Dear lord.

[@JayDee284]

the Ceramic Pickle doesn't help much lol

[@otaking3582]

It's either they learn it from their parents or from the internet. The internet is far less awkward.

[@norbertoniebres1615]

Svinja I would like to see that. Me and my female avatar (s). :)

[@newstarcadefan]

As a kid...I thought a lot of the Home Shopping Networks had a ton of stuff I wish I had...for example those 100-1 game consoles, the NES, etc. Now it's all clothing, jewelry, hardware and etc. Interestingly enough, J.C. Penny (yes that J.C. Penny) had their own shopping channel in the late 80's early 90's. However, it got folded in. Also the 90's QVC had two branch channels then, QVC 2 (rebranded Q2, and QVC Fashion that was a thing in the mid 90's).

[@JL-sm6cg]

I recall seeing a lot of things like that, like the Commodore SX-64 (the portable C64) which was being sold for $683 or something. God, I wanted that thing!

[@StinkyBlack1]

its an old king coal shotglass, very rare, very valuable. ive seen these go for over 3000 dollars at auction.

[@daftoptimist]

The comedic timing of the practice katana accident is flawless. You’re given JUST enough time to realize what could go wrong, and it promptly goes wrong.

[@kkatmartin1]

I used to use these channels in my bedroom at night muted to read books with

[@otaking3582]

The best shopping channel is definitely Precious Roy's Home Shopping Netwerk. "Precious Roy, Precious Roy, Making lots of suckers out of girls and boys!"

[@AirknightTails]

Sifl and Olly FTW!

[@RedBlackGlass]

I miss Precious Roy!

[@TeeVeeGames]

The mannequin hand - often times mangled in some awful way - was the best.

[@frankcabanski9409]

You can use the pickle ash tray as a backup for the bunny toothpic holder if you have too many toothpics. Let's say you're having a lot of street thugs over for cards. They will all want to chew on toothpics as they play. The rabbit doesn't hold all the necessary toothpics. Send in the pickle!

[@visaman]

Good archive. I wish you could do one on Shop@home exclusively featuring Don West. I used to watch him every weekend between 3 and 5 Am.

[@MrWolfSnack]

11:48 The number for DIVX.

[@MrJohndoakes]

Ben forgot that there were earlier non-shopping, non-ad TV shows where merchandise was shown to the camera; KTLA-TV (channel 5) used to have this late-night parade of goods in the 1950s where they would go to an appliance store and show off the fridges, washing machines, TV sets, radios, etc. that the store had for sale, and it would change locations from week to week. I'm guessing the program filled a hole and trained the crew in doing live location video broadcasting.

[@MrJohndoakes]

Forgot to add that this was in Los Angeles. KTLA later gave us the "Movies 'til Dawn" format.

[@bluetheta]

HSC even bought a frequency in Chicago to run the first ever over the air shopping channel. I remember the old news report and watched on a black and white TV as it was switched on. The on-air host even "welcomed" Chicago by giving instructions on how to "join" the club!

[@markanderson350]

Ben this was the funniest by far. good work on those bloopers! Poor aspiring salesmen!! Loved the ladder and vacuum that was not aspiring at all!

[@markanderson350]

I agree, loved those bloopers. A salesman is the most un handy person.

[@TheApoohneicie]

With the pickle figurine, you could do a twist on the Christmas tradition and hide it around the house and give a special gift to whoever finds it.

[@pipedonetimes]

why always so down on the history lesson? i love the history lessons, it's the best part!

[@talesfromthelotuspodcast]

I like them too

[@ChuckD79]

Same here...always fascinating to get the backstory on whatever the episode's about!

[@LightTheUnicorn]

Got to admit that watching the bizarre products and even more bizarre actors on these kind of channels was a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, they really are very strange!

[@waterandafter]

I like the way you smack that pickle.

[@DrRawley]

I love that Mike Rowe was on QVC back in the day.

[@DanTheMan1985ful]

7:01 ""Thank you for calling!" "We appreciate your patience." "Please stay on the line for the next available representative." "This call may be monitored or recorded." Para Espanol, marque neuve.

[@DoctorKandosii]

The porcelain pickle also has applications as a sex aid. Ben was clearly too classy to go down that road, but I'm not.

[@ThisGuyFrritz]

7:00 to 8:25: Try Playing that at half-speed.

[@henryjohnson1071]

Even more A E S T H E T I C

[@DanTheMan1985ful]

That's the kind of music I expect to hear while being put on hold on the phone.

[@mortyweirdland7121]

7:27 is this proto-vapourwave?

[@SailorMaxie]

Yes. Much yes.

[@IAmNotAFunguy]

The inTV network was the precursor to PAX TV or today's ION Network.

[@ChuckD79]

We got HSN around 1986 or so, though competitor CVN didn't arrive until the following year (and its spot on our cable system was naturally taken over by QVC after the 1989 buyout)...I remember my parents ordering a few things from them, such as a juicer and a set of perimeter lighting for our deck stairs.

[@sawbonesquad4876]

7:00 A E S T H E T I C

[@ScumSookar]

Glad I'm not the only one who felt the V A P O R flow through me.

[@goatprince1]

C A N C E R

[@TheGamerWithMore]

Very aesthetic!

[@ibrahimorhan2215]

Sawbones Quad A R C H I V E S T H E T I C

[@8bits59]

7:00 is exactly 420 seconds. Coincidence? I think not.

[@MarindiaProductions]

It's been two months, and I'm still saying "Do you love my plump and thick?" and "I fell on my booty!" So well done on that catch-phrase thing! Other suggestions from this episode: "Whoopie-ding!" and "But seriously, just order my damn pickle already!"

[@imrustyokay]

You know what's kinda sad now? HSN and QVC are now owned by the owners of online retailer Zulily (Qurate Retail Group)

[@MALAKYT]

I'm SO not kidding when I say that I WOULD LOVE to work for one of these channels... it would be the most cheesy, yet entirely FUN job on the planet!

[@jameslaidler4259]

John and Johnny were genuinely funny and entertaining. I'd have watched them.

[@chrysanth.5700]

I think I would have watched them too. They seem like real upstanding individuals who know how to entertain the masses in the best of ways.

[@alman54]

I don't remember if Oddity Archive has covered Crazy Eddie, but even if it has, he's still worth a mention in this episode. I used to watch him in the early 1980s just for pure entertainment. Among the millions of home shopping shows mentioned, does anyone remember "Greensheets?" It was a no-budget home-shopping show done by a satellite installer named Shaun Kinney and his assistant Lolita (a dark-haired lady who wore huge glasses). He was a huge advocate for satellite TV (in the 80s) that wasn't so regulated. The show was on satellite someplace and my dad used to watch just to see what Shawn was selling that week. Shaun and Lolita were funny together, since she would always get mad when he dropped prices on things he wasn't supposed to. I assume, anyway. Anyhow, Shaun died during the run of Greensheets when he fell off a roof, and that was the end of the show.

[@Yeen125]

Ben briefly covered Crazy Eddie in the Local TV Volume 4 (Local Commercials) episode.

[@Dirtnation2]

I do enjoy watching QVC just to have some background noise. Also Country Cason is freakin' cute.

[@skykitchen992]

In the early 90's we got the Cupid Network on our system. It was a adult shopping channel, that sold lubricants, vibrators, panties and other adult stuff. It was fun to watch. Parents taped it on vhs.

[@ChuckD79]

Didn't get ValueVision until 1994, when my cable system added Bridgeport, CT station WHAI...these days, it's WZME (formerly a Me-TV affiliate, now carrying Heroes & Icons). UPDATE: At the beginning of 2020, WZME returned to home shopping by switching its affiliation to Shop LC, and this past November, switched to ShopHQ.

[@feltongailey8987]

I am looking at my pair of Ferrari Folding Sunglasses complete with leathertte case, as we speak. These babies are circa 1983-4ish. Gorgeous!

[@id513128]

I like your history lesson! Keep going!

[@knd1379]

hearing some good vapor wave in the background...and if you look up AVN now, you will find something completely different :p.

[@loganmacgyver2625]

my parents told me that ads calmed me down so they recorded a tapeful of as seen on tv ads we re recorded Winnie pooh on it I watched the tape a lot when I was little

[@Not-TheOne]

21:29, is that you Mike Rowe?

[@HappySnoutHour]

I still need to archive an old VHS tape I have where it was a late night shopping show that sold knives, swords and other weaponry from the late '90s. I just remember it for being absolutely bizarre even for a HSN rip-off.

[@JoshCraver9000]

I think I've seen something like that before recently.

[@superorangecat6937]

Its from Adult Swim. They do some awesome fake infomercials sometimes at 4am. Its probably on KZbin.

[@HappySnoutHour]

No, what I have on VHS is real and I know it is because my brother actually bought stuff from them back then. I seen that thing on Adult Swim before that you were talking about and they were parodying those late '90s sword infomercials that I referenced earlier.

[@HappySnoutHour]

Just remembered it was called The Cutlery Corner Network and they have a YT channel and they do livestreams all the time.

[@akaihys]

there's a very low production value thing called Cutlery Corner that pops up late at night. I've recorded a couple clips of them hawking assorted knives in bulk with names like Fists Full of Blades and Christmas Shopping Done. hilarious.

[@honey_bee65]

Was Jessica Simpson drunk??? and Did that lady seriously just ask Liza Minnelli that she has overcome so much DIVERSITY??? hahaha and I want that percussive pickle :-(

[@LoveusSlothus]

“Thank you so much, you’re my mentor too” 🤣🤣 Ah, there’s nothing better than watching a drunken Liza slurring her way through a HSN gig Were Mariah and Jessica (wow...what a airhead! 🤦🏽‍♀️) both drunk?! Seeing former pop stars frm my childhood up there with the Susan Luccis n Joan Rivers’ hawking there “special collections” on QVC or HSN make me feel old...👵🏽 I also laughed too hard at those jumper cables on fire 😂 And I’d totes buy the shot glass, earless jackrabbit, and ceramic pickle ! 🛍 🛒

[@JepMasta]

I used to work for a Home Shopping TV Network...oh the stories I could tell...

[@SerialGothQueens]

Time Warner Cable here in NYC used to (or perhaps still does) broadcast something from the South-at least I think it was from the South- called "The Knife Show". It was basically a 4 hour block of home shopping for knives and swords. The hosts were a bunch of nearly identical guys, who spoke in nearly identical monotones. The most hilarious aspect of the show was that the hosts would more often than not run out of things to say about whatever sharp object they were supposed to be selling at the moment, leaving enough awkward silence to make a viewer think that the network was experiencing 'technical difficulties'. Even more awkward, as well as a bit creepy, would be the sudden appearance of a pair of hands on camera, which would then begin to lovingly, and somewhat disturbingly, caress the sharp object being sold at that moment. How no one ever lost a finger, or at least a fingertip, is beyond me (at least I think no one did!). I cannot tell you how many times I've fallen asleep watching TV, only to wake up at 3am and find "The Knife Show" on. More often than not, I'd just leave it on and wait for it to lull me back to sleep, because in that late-night stupor we're all familiar with, I couldn't be bothered to make the effort to search for something else to watch. I'm now left wondering if "The Knife Show" is still on....looks like I'm going to have to try and wake myself up at 3am one night this week to find out.

[@krisstarring]

You forgot about the shortlived JCPenney Channel.

[@Kodocha7]

Oh man, that ska pickle was pretty tempting! I'd buy one!

[@charliecatsantos8412]

But in Japan (if you watched TV5 In the Philippines you get Japanese hospitality in TV shopping) We called it Shop Japan (which is the Home shopping Infomercials in Japan)

[@hdofu]

"If you get stuck in a dark room with that emerald, you're gonna be able to get out with that emerald" nooooo…. you're not, you'll be missing that emerald by the time you get out, possibly your finger it was on in the process.

[@DrewberTravels]

The liza ones are AMAZING!

[@VictorCowo]

19:08 And I think to myself... That was the funniest shit I ever seen

[@EvaFull]

Still a Top 10 Favorite Episode all these years & added archives later. Do you think you have enough clips for another one by now?

[@OddityArchive]

Honestly, I haven't really seen any more amusing Home Shopping stuff since I made this.

[@altfactor]

You left out the most infamous shopping show of them all---"Telephone Auction"!

[@JasonBoon02]

21:05 Jeez Ben! If somebody wants to order your pickle, wouldn't that hurt? 😂

[@InsanePsychoRabbit]

21:16 I have a very similar looking lava lamp and it is warmed up and running as I watch this.

[@daveb5041]

*Four easy payments of $49.95 that you can put on your credit card with low 24.95% APR!* Of course the product breaks before the second payment you forget to pay get a huge late fee and ultimately damage credit paying thousand in interest and security deposits you don;t get back over the years.

[@JL-sm6cg]

BTW I am stunned you couldn't find the original theme music for HSC. "Happiness is shopping with us."

[@MrBillmcminn]

21:15 is that Mike Rowe from all those Discovery Channel Shows?

[@bunnybismuth]

It is

[@atrainradio929]

One of the funniest episodes yet!

[@imrustyokay]

Thank you Ben, I needed a visit to the archive during a stressful week. Also, you looked like you have stuff around your mouth, no wonder you hide it

[@TennantJunkie1993]

I was watching one of Linkara's videos and he brought up the Home Shopping Club and I IMMEDIATELY thought of you.

[@ChairmanChico]

“Order my pickle.” GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!

[@zack41564]

That's the Divx number, I want the midevil shotglass

[@MelhodRiperton]

Is Liza Drunk? 13:34

[@bryankollmorgen2696]

Was that Mike Rowe burning himself on a lava lamp?

[@thekidfromiowa]

4:50 Fortunately the letters in the second row were arranged carefully

[@rockvilleraven]

I remember when Home Shopping Club, almost aired 24/7 on Baltimore's WHSW Channel 24.

[@spybomber6499]

Yeah boy! let's watch these channels!