Oh, The Places You'll (Actually) Go

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A whimsical tale of mediocrity.
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Cheryl B. Engelhardt, www.cbemusic.com

[@KnightofFunnyJunk]

>All social interactions a means to an end I hate how disgustingly real this is.

[@coffee2535]

Iced Shadow 🤦‍♂️

[@coffee2535]

If english isnt your first language i can understand why you wouldnt know but if english is your first language and you have a education then your probably too young to be on youtube

[@aa-co3kt]

It's not my problem. I don't have any friends anyway. You don't scare me, adulthood.

[@anatine_banana_69]

Well... this aged well

[@m3gawither7734]

Woah there buckaroo slow down there with those predictions of yours

[@DiStUrBeDxNaTiOn]

This isn't humorous. This is just depressing.

[@aapeli4824]

that's the good part

[@dylanspeaks597]

My life in a nutshell

[@OnePercentBetter]

If you choose to see it that way then so be it :P

[@dominikciszek7777]

the only thing that hinders you in adulthood is society and the pressure to live an average life. Oh yes, that's a thing.

[@GenerationX1984]

It's only depressing if you're a naive person who has unrealistically high expectations. If you're not naive then it's funny because it's true.

[@brenna6460]

Well shit, I'm having an entrnal crisis after watching an three minute long parody of a rhyming children's book.

[@saramecoolsuper]

same

[@moon-lg2ii]

same

[@lemonke8132]

Lol... You mean internal?

[@percyross7612]

After realizing I'm wasting my life a few weeks ago I sat down and made a half-an-hour by half-and-hour schedule of my entire week. It's been pretty good. I'm in better shape. I don't oversleep. I get all my shit done and more. And I still have time to relax and do nothing if I want.

[@zucchini2442]

+Percy Ross wow how did you manage that? I wouldn't know how to plan my week. hm maybe when to Iearn what, or finally adding some exercise .-. I have no idea. But your comment actually made me want to do a schedule too

[@chaotik900]

wow that sure as hell made me want to die quicker.

[@lieutenantdan8541]

remember, if you commit suicide the lord wont accept you😒

[@miguelfurlandeavila63]

+sean mergner some people say your soul will stay in your dead body forever... this is why i dont kill myself

[@lieutenantdan8541]

+Miguel Furlan de Ávila i dont kill myself because i believe that you dont go anywhere good or bad when you die

[@chaotik900]

lol i'm already going to hell and worse lol, fuck heaven.

[@lieutenantdan8541]

+ENTURNAL SLAUGHTER im an atheist, i dont believe you go anywhere

[@PokeymanTrainer]

I remember watching this when it first came out like "I'll be fine this is just exaggerating". Now 4 years later and I finally see the truth... Except for the fat thing, I'm grateful for my metabolism.

[@jagerbomb7810]

+PokeymanTrainer I was just after dropping out of college when I first found this video. Living with my parents, working a shit job that I hated and feeling like the biggest looser on this planet. This video was like looking in a mirror.

[@JuanAguilar-sl9ow]

+PokeymanTrainer ikr

[@oshietkudafrickinsai1232]

Unfortunately, same here. Fuck.

[@RambunctiousVA]

+PokeymanTrainer damn im startin' to think like that too

[@poptartdom]

+PokeymanTrainer Just wait a little longer for the fat thing to kick in...

[@BrokenKey]

after watching the video you scroll down to find, that your reading the comments in a way that will rhyme.

[@maura_the_rose]

*you're

[@Marcho]

XD

[@diamondemerald116]

Yes how did you know?

[@dccrulz]

+Diamond Emrald. Ik CUz I AM THE MASTER OF TIME

[@izd4]

+DCC RulZ →A↓ →A↓

[@canaryco-op]

well that was fucking depressing

[@sidbell1073]

luv da name

[@faithhill7047]

omg soo right funny but i was thinking "am i going to achive a vet?" then i found this.......oh..by dreams

[@Paperwood]

sadly that was probably the point

[@yourfathersmellsoffarts3624]

Yup

[@katherinepagan4860]

I was laughing until it came to "You'll live with your parents, who love you less and less." Then I looked across the living room at my mom and thought, "Oooh, that hurt."

[@ohwell2088]

are you still living with them

[@antonioruelas8902]

@@ohwell2088 I guess we will never know

[@cecilanahz]

I actually really like this video because it motivates me to work even harder not to end up like that.

[@indoorkite651]

+Cecil Anahz XD well that's definitely one way to take it, i'd say he best actually

[@akshayatandle3596]

you just changed the way I look at this video. Thanks for motivating.

[@mr.mr.moremr.7077]

+Cecil Anahz LOOOL Your pictures dosen't show that.

[@cecilanahz]

Mr.Mr. & More Mr. so laugh out out out loud? what you tryin to imply buster

[@booboothefool759]

+Cecil Anahz konata at the moment what is your favourite game?

[@account_deleted703]

Oh now that was depressing.

[@aubrieseymour4641]

J sorry I had to reply... this comment has been sitting her lonely for 3 years...

[@ethanlotter6270]

J might as well comment on a 3 year old comment as well

[@donicadielingen]

The man doesn’t even know what he’s talking about. He’s just rhyming, man.

[@natalieeuley1734]

I watched this video for the first time when I was in high school, and I'm now working my dream job. How time flies, and sometimes fear of mediocrity is enough to push you to your dream.

[@flamerunnerreviews1163]

Well this comment clearly predates Covid

[@wildfire9280]

@@flamerunnerreviews1163 It could also be post-Covid (except for the date obviously), arguably a better economy in crucial areas.

[@DiamongSuesane]

You'll be even older when this cartoon is done. *Pauses video and never plays it again.*

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

That has to be one of the top 10 best comments ever.

[@michaelbrainard9912]

"When you know you're in love, when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams"-Dr. Suess

[@tesselvandijk3632]

Except for when the person you love doesn't even say hi to you and gives all of his attention to your friend ;__; this hurts yknow

[@michaelbrainard9912]

It's ok it'll work out the way it's meant to. So do what you can to make the person notice you. That's the first step.

[@tesselvandijk3632]

thanks.. I just asked my friend if she liked him she said "I don't fucking know" so this isn't going that well lol

[@thegoddessluna5971]

I wish I had a life like that but instead I have annoying ass people bothering me and huge social anxoety x.x

[@danielleromero4265]

That is now one of my proverbs.

[@BayMom9]

CollegeHumor: Giving people chronic depression since the dawn of time

[@KFC_Official_]

Maybe I'll be ugly, or maybe I'll be a flirt, maybe I'll be poor, boy, does the truth hurt? Maybe I'll be rich, and stacks of money will build up to the sky, or maybe I'll live at home and kiss all my cash goodbye!

[@kiritokirigaya7072]

Maybe I'll be tracer, shes already tracer.

[@proton4938]

I can definitely kiss my cash goodbye.

[@freddie483]

thankyou colonel sanders

[@savag3knight206]

Kirito Kirigaya yea😂😂😂

[@rectaalborween8471]

Is it weird that as a kid i knew all this shit and everytime any of my friends went "When i grow up ill be an astronaut" thought to myself "Suuuuure youll be!"

[@MrTeentitans194]

Same here!!! I was like: Da fuck? I'm probly gonna be flippin burgers or somethin because that seems more doable. Now? I'm flippin burgers haha

[@saltynurd3015]

I wanna be a game developer :P ive even looked at requirments for some of my favorite companys. mostly what i expected, computer science degree, work expirence, ect. but I don't have ANY of those yet! :D

[@rectaalborween8471]

+MrTeentitans194 Don't worry.Just save enough money to buy a gun and you can end it all :D

[@ZoloftZo]

I wanted to be a Computer scammer :)

[@rectaalborween8471]

MrTeentitans194 I dont think it takes that much money if youre going to make a small game. The only problem is finding someone who is willing to teach it to you.

[@rubberpritzell391]

Well that was depressing.

[@gabemerritt3139]

most people dont want to work to acheive what they want. accepting what he is saying makes him right. prove him wrong. assuming your in high school or college you still have plenty of time to do what you want.

[@gabemerritt3139]

+Oskar Lincoln luck has a big part in it.

[@tlgmc1908]

+Oskar Lincoln and if you've come from a good or poor family, people in poor families usually don't move up much that's why i'd never have kids

[@blobzee5438]

+Gabe Merritt im 22 and never wanted to do anything tbh ,i know shocking right never had a childhood dream at all

[@Mclean824]

I thought this was a KZbin comment section not the damn gathering of the motivational speakers

[@Chr0maticAttack]

+Chris McLean Keep searching Chris. Maybe you'll see, that in some comment section are the people you seek. Just never give up, keep looking and soon, instead of motivational speakers, you'll be drenched in poon.

[@conjr4731]

Chr0maticAttack lol

[@fryingpan8973]

+Chr0maticAttack Fucking amazing.

[@missingno3391]

Which means its one of the best comment sections there are.

[@nuclearpugg]

Because they are a bunch of know it all assholes who think they know how the world works just because they made it. People just suck sadly

[@kaygow8184]

By 0:20 I was like please stop

[@cyberustherobot4842]

Kay Gow i just realised what you mean.

[@anishini362]

Huh?

[@molly2991]

What?

[@Blobstermob]

Toxic Ivy Anims what does he mean?

[@molly2991]

I dont understand

[@Styxhexenhammer666]

I do not feel this feel.

[@shandernotpulp]

Never I before seen a verified channel with only 59 likes 4 years ago.

[@ystopgaming3757]

@@shandernotpulp I don’t care about verified people unless it’s pewdiepie or mr beast

[@Poppa]

woah

[@TheCorruptedGhost]

This is more accurate than you think. It's about kids, especially in America, who are constantly crushed down about their dreams. Parents will tell their children to get something more achievable. You'll never become an actor, or a band, they say. So kids wait around for something good to happen, and it never will. You'll graduate, stay at home, get fatter and lazy. Unless, of course, you do something about it. There should have been more in the video, something inspiring. But he's kind of right, you'll end up serving coffee or working in an office with a bunch of robot-like people.

[@TheCommaCapper]

i always hoped i could become a band.

[@brandonboogers]

I want to get a degree in engineering, but I'll probably end up working at a zoo

[@midnightfun1277]

I actually read your comment like a rhyme and with the guy's voice in the video..and it was awesome..

[@Pumagami]

I hope that doesn't happen to me!! What should I do!? Oh no, I wanted to become an artist, but looking around at all the failed artists.... And I'm also looking at my parents, who never really fulfilled their dreams. And I don't think they're happy. But what can I possibly do about this??? I don't want to serve coffee or become a robot! D:

[@brandonboogers]

Simple, learn something not useless

[@seanmetcalfe3580]

Don't base your individual life choices on statistics. The reason those statistics exist in the first place is likely attributable to a cycle of acceptance of mediocrity. If you choose to follow those statistics and give up on your dreams, then you only have yourself to blame. Be the master of your own mind, and your life will be richer and happier as a result, no matter where you currently are. Do not alter yourself based on statistical expectations.

[@rickywilliams1586]

Sean Metcalfe Society makes it impossible for most. They're called the 1% for a reason. There are people who's lives cant be changed. There are people who have struggled and tried to change their lives but weren't able to because of how society only favors those born into success. There are some that have turned it around but those are the exception not the rules. Life is a major bitch. It will find any way to screw you over. People are assholes. If they can literal stab you in the back, get away with it, and get themselves ahead they will take that opportunity every single time.

[@seanmetcalfe3580]

Ricky Williams Not quite. Life may be difficult for most people, and there may be tremendous obstacles, but given enough time and thought, there is always a way to improve your life.

[@socialresearch6625]

Sean Metcalfe the statistics are there for a reason. Many people think they are masters of their minds but they end up as a statistic

[@chrisdoessomestuff4782]

Sean Metcalfe Life never goes they way you want to. If you say that you'll do nothing good for the world and you'll be as worthless as a half-penny, life will turn you into the next Steve Jobs.

[@SheriffWalrus]

+Sean Metcalfe Yeah, by the way, the fact that not everyone can be special "statistically" is bull made by people who don't understand statistics. That doesn't mean anything whatsoever, and it definitely doesn't mean being a failure is the norm. Even taken out of context, it's deceiving. Things can have no correlation, and while everything can't be an outlier, special isn't a statistics word, so you're just fine calling all the points special.

[@elijahpepe]

This is actually pretty motivating if you take it the right way.

[@joelformica8344]

elijahpepe Fear is not a great way of motivation.

[@Terryshowedup]

annnnnnnd..... my existential crisis worsens traumatically 😖

[@Terryshowedup]

I'll just take this as a wake up call and try to change some things..

[@YFZriderdude15]

We all have an existential crisis at some point or another. You'll soon forget about it as you inevitably continue through life. It may resurface, but the way I see it, ending your existence opens up a door to the unknown and I'd rather cross that bridge when I am forced through natural circumstances to come to it. So smile, be happy, and don't worry about anything you don't need to!

[@spear401]

That's fucked up in so many ways.

[@Thesterness]

The most fucked up part is that it's true ;_;

[@antoniomujica534]

Thesterness . ikr

[@swatson5699]

I love how most of the comments are saying how this video is completely fake. In reality, at least some of these things happen to at least some people. And sorry to break your dream but SOMEONE has to do the lower class jobs. And, statistically speaking, there are more homeless people than billionaires in this world, so stop living in denial.

[@TheGreatGameCreator5]

Yes but I'm betting the billionaires weren't told as children they would never accomplish their dreams, and if they did it probably motivated them. If goals where not achievable then we all would be living in a pile of our own filth only using the energy to breath. What people don't like is the tone that says no matter what you do you will ultimately fail. It seems to be a serious issue of people of any kind of status to talk down to those who aren't as privileged to tell them to settle for the mediocre. Those who have the will to do great things will no one is destined to fail.

[@punkst3r]

it's not hard to accept the fact that there are more homeless people than billionaires in the world.

[@TheGreatGameCreator5]

Yes, you missed the point. The point was that people who are successful don't get to that point by believing they will never accomplish anything great a persons success is based on the person not statistics.

[@clowntrooper61]

Well put. I think people's problem is they have unrealistic dreams which are unlikely going to happen like being a billionaire

[@punkst3r]

well good luck being a billionaire, I don't suppose THAT will happen to me, but I dream to have a job that pays well

[@larrylentini5688]

I watch this video every time I think about dropping out of engineering school...

[@miguelfurlandeavila63]

you should because hope is futile you will end up being fucked in your life anyway.

[@iglidor]

I am one of those who actualy completed technical oriented high school and is now working as electrician and let me tell you, after first few years where I worked at crappy jobs just to aquire expertise that is required by law to allow me to get all encompasing licence for my job, I now have almost dream job. Reasonable pay while having great and human bosses and coworkers with only rare overtimes and workload that makes keeps me from being bored without tiring me (and ocasional life threatening moments... but meh that I consider normal now as high voltage electrician) Life is curently so great that I even aplied for university and am studying alongside my job. Quite hardcore timewise but so far managable. So to sum it up: You should not have dropped out unless you got into some better place. BUT! It is never too late to return to school again. Unless you are 50+ years old you still have enough time to educate yourself and find better place.

[@larrylentini5688]

Wow, I just came back to this video again and discovered all these comments. I didn't drop out, I'm still trudging along. I should be able to graduate in a year if I play my cards right.

[@fiona9891]

I've pretty much come to terms I won't be a billionaire, or a well known and respected scientist. The 1% is way too far, but the 20-50% sounds like enough. That should be about middle class or something, right?

[@happypotato42]

Middle class in a first world country is closer to 10%, in reality

[@fiona9891]

happypotato42 Well, the world's pretty shitty.

[@r.pizzamonkey7379]

Hopes of becoming rich? HA. If you weren't born rich the only thing you have going for you is a combination of exceptional skill and luck. Being smart and talented isn't enough to get rich, you also need a big break. If you try to get rich through business you'll find why they say class mobility is down the drain. The rich can rewrite the rules in their favor, and you have to compete with them for business.

[@logangantner3863]

***** Starting a business has a much higher expected rate of return compared with playing the lottery.

[@TraceLight]

Dan it’s not hard to become a millionaire if you think about it. It’s all about retaining that money, which is hard. With a government that is threatening to tax you to the ground, to a bitch who will take all your money in a divorce case, it’s a living nightmare. I’ll give you one advice: watch your back, because neither Uncle Sam nor your “eternal love” will.

[@wj11jam78]

Jokes on you, I don't have any dreams! (No seriously I don't know what I'm gonna do when I leave home. Help)

[@luislara8474]

+Wj11jam Rephrase that to "if I ever leave home."

[@wj11jam78]

Luis Lara :/

[@CombraStudios]

+Wj11jam You'll work your soul of body

[@wj11jam78]

CombraStudios Wait, I don't understand...

[@CombraStudios]

+Wj11jam Me too .D

[@aadfg0]

If you want to achieve your goal, just keep trying until you die...

[@clowntrooper61]

You'll get there eventually and do it one step at a time.

[@thecensoriouscritic9358]

clowntrooper61 No, you wont. Everyone wants to become a president and only VERY few people actually even have a chance of becoming one. Stop giving people falls hope.

[@clowntrooper61]

kurasa otaku You can still be a congressman though and most people dream of money and fame which is people. Those are possible you just need to know how to do it. You tell that to people fighting cancer that it's falls hope you're going to beat this

[@thecensoriouscritic9358]

clowntrooper61 No, you can't. There are more than 300 million people in America and only a few hundred congressman jobs. Stop fooling yourself! Not everybody that wants to be famous can become famous, for every popstar there are like at least 10,000 people that worked even harder to become a famous musician but failed to become one. Most people will just end up with some 2000 to 3000 dollar a month 9 to 5 office job. And that's okay, be happy with that! If you act like it is very possible that will become the next Justin Bieber and you end up failing like 99,99999% of the people who want to be a musician the blow would be even bigger and you wont have anything left since you spend all your time trying to be a popstar instead of looking for a realistic job! Some of my friends who graduated did the highest possible level of education in the Netherlands and now they are working at the Aldi, stop fooling yourself, we live in a terrible economy right now and you are lucky if you even get a job let alone the specific 300 grand a year job you wanted!

[@clowntrooper61]

kurasa otaku I'm not even American friend. I just said congressman because you said president. That's because they haven't had their big break. It might be good for someone people, but unless you do something about that, that's where you're going to end up. If those people don't try and find something they love doing, they won't know what might be. I don't want to be the next Justin Beiber, I don't even like him or even a pop star. If I was a musician I would want to play the blues and hard rock and show this generation what there missing out on. I'll do it as a side project. Also why do you have to crush people's dreams.If everyone had a bleak aspect to life that you have, there wouldn't be people like Steve Jobs,businessman,Martin Luther king etc. If I thought like you, I would be dead long ago. What country are you from?

[@theZinator]

I first saw this video as a teenager and thought it would be ridiculous that I’d be living with my parents as an adult. Now I’m 24 and you’ll never guess what I’ve been doing for the past couple years.

[@eswarjuri]

COVID stole like at least 2 years of our youth though!

[@kulrigalestout]

My dreams were quashed in youth, so I had never set my sights high. When I hear "dream big", I ask myself "why?". Being around kids makes me want to heave, I can't believe so many are all so naive! Shoot for the moon, land among stars? Hah! Better chance of being stabbed behind bars! If you cry as your dreams lie shattered on a shelf, just remember; Life sucks. Get over yourself!

[@kroissant5601]

Kulrig Alestout beautiful bro

[@AliTheAllStar]

Oh this rhyme is a shame. It makes life seem so lame. While not many can grow up with money or fame, to say it's impossible to achieve one's ambitions and to imply the pointlessness of personal missions is not a notion I want to entertain. We all have our goals and all have our dreams. and while we may not all have the same means and most of don't have fancy machines, we can change the world and we should and we will cynicism is the disease and we are the pill. We must reject our constraints and our limits and our boundaries and rely not on our establishment or our foundries but rather on the possibilities of our minds and what WE choose to do with our time so I say to you now I reject your statement as everybody should across all our nations. This is all our world and we can do as we please together we can bring the system to its knees.

[@NymphGrimfall]

10/10

[@hansdug3072]

Nice. Here's my counter: They tell you with hard work that you can obtain whatever everyone wants and desires lots of money or even much power or fame, but the truth is, that they were all misinformed liars. You see, humans were built to survive life's hurts, its brambles and thorns of sorrow and blood, for nature is cruel, and the way to survive, is through brutal decisions that rarely end good. And though our conscious mind may have evolved, our subconscious mind, it seems, has not, for societies problems remain unresolved, as the system bulges with ruin and rot. Yes, I agree, the systems to blame, but it’s we who created the system, humans will never have quite perfect aim, at our goals, as we always have missed 'em. The only way forward is through stepping back, and accepting our many imperfections, merely saying that we can improve what we lack, will not point us in the right directions.

[@JFrameMan]

Hans Dug Argue for your limitations and they become yours The accomplished need not weep or use locks to block doors You've had a million chances to change and be brave Yet you chose whims and fun as comfort before your grave.

[@Tatsuyoujo]

Hans Dug You didn't do a good job of rhyming.

[@Tatsuyoujo]

BRAVO!

[@sirithova]

Thank you, CollegeHumor. I'm fighting depression and that video really "helped" a lot.

[@Spyko-]

today it's halloween, i've watch and read a lot a scary thing, but i'll be honest and say: this video is, by far, the scariest

[@jeffbrehove2614]

Prime example of why Halloween and Horror don't "do it" for me anymore

[@carolineb.456]

...This was a depressing 2 minutes and 12 seconds... But, I've never liked being told what to do soooo I guess it just makes me want to try harder and do something amazing with my life.

[@germangamingvideos6069]

That realistically wont get you anywhere

[@JangoFox]

I thought you guys were CollegeHumor for a reason...

[@defrte]

Bomber Jac dark realistic humor. CH has evolved since then, going into some more serious shit. Check the date of this vid man

[@tobiaslumi2488]

@@defrte Now it has devolved into feminist SJW "politically correct" humor.

[@MohammedMuaawia]

**existential crisis intensifies**

[@skalamsiddiqui]

I had that book as a gift from someone when I was moving from one country to another. Everytime I felt insecure, reading those inspiring words got me through. Somehow watching this makes me lose all hope and is a manifestation of my insecurity

[@Matrixpandagamer]

Those 6,800 dislikes are from junior high school students who want to deny the truth of life

[@colingznetwork781]

MatrixPandaGamer_22 because that’s not the truth

[@Kazuk0100]

Life is mostly meaningless because of this one simple thing. The universe is so big that it doesn't matter what you do it will eventually be forgotten.

[@googleisawful1473]

MatrixPandaGamer_22 The likes are from people who think that “cynical” means smart.

[@user-mq1ng6sj7b]

@@Kazuk0100 The meaning of life (just like anything that has no objective meaning) is completely based on the person. And meaning isn't based on how long something is remembered. If you don't believe me, ask yourself this question. If humans were immortal, would that make life more meaningful? If you ask me, I personally think that would make life have even less meaning because what's the point of managing your time well if you have an endless amount of it and can thus do anything at all. And do you really need to be remembered by everything ever in existence and have an impact that changes the face of the universe to find meaning in life?

[@Kazuk0100]

@@user-mq1ng6sj7b A person can't be immortal... But they can biologically live forever, they will still die just not from aging.

[@UnchainedEruption]

The trick is to end wishful thinking and be honest with yourself. How much can you ACTUALLY achieve by specifically doing something? Your life won't change till you do. The world evaluates you the same way you evaluate anyone else: by how much they're worth. So make yourself worth something.

[@sleepyleftie]

Nah. Sure, that can be good advice, but we should be careful blaming ourselves for systemic or societal problems that can be fixed if we work together. If you are poor, that’s probably not your fault, it’s to some degree the fault of the wealthy, who rigged the world in their favour.

[@bigasspockets]

Yeah my main takeaway was a lot of the time your expectations aren’t met, so don’t stress about that since it’s not realistic. Instead of working towards a far off future ideal, do what you can to make your current situation as ideal as possible

[@EqualsThreeable]

My coworker or should I say EX-coworker started out fine. He had a wife, a kid, a job, everything good. Now he has no wife, no job and barely gets to see those kids. He started gambling, cheating on his wife, now he's paying for it quite literally. He also had a car and a house, both of those are gone too! Now he's going bald but staying skinny, probably from all those prescription drugs he's taking. His new girlfriend actually beats him up, she's a psycho bitch that had a troubled childhood. He denies it and saying he's trying to help her, but he can barely help himself as he sleeps in his parents house. 40 years old now and as miserable as ever, I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I'm just left with the image of a sad sad man who you pity. How sad is it that I was the one that had to fire him.

[@wj11jam78]

+EqualsThreeable Holy shit, man. That's heavy...

[@EqualsThreeable]

Wj11jam it's a family business too, so we've known eachother for like the longest of time. he went lost is 15,000 in just under 1 month. I had to let him go.

[@nickeon2]

+EqualsThreeable best wishes for the unfortunate person :(

[@XKT035]

can you repeat that in Dr Seuss-like rhyme?

[@EqualsThreeable]

XKT035 *deep breath* Here we go! I'll call this one X-marks the spot. X marks the spot. The spots you see, they are everywhere you see from a to z. A coworker of mine, who I say used to to be just fine. Before I go too deep, let me just beep, a wife, kid, job, things he had to keep. Cheating is bad, he did not listen, that how he lost his wife whom he had been beating. Don't go to his house, Even if someone you Find someone Grieving at Home. I know what you must be thinking, we are not nearly halfway down this twisted hallway. Just look now, his bald balding head, Keep talking like that and he'll find out appauld and this so-called Lad will be. Maybe he'll change we though. no no, he just couldn't Outgrow he just throws dough at Prescription drugs he's been written a fake memo. We can't Quit now, we are almost threw in a few. Right now a new girlfriend that actually beats him up. Sexy isn't adequately defining her perplexity. She's a psycho bitch that had a Troubled childhood, that doesn't rhyme Ugh, can I just finish this already. I've spent at least V minutes on Writing this, V being the Roman numeral for five, because really needed a V and that's all I could think of on the spot, . He denies it all, all he can do now is bawl. He sleeps in his parents house. 40 years old now, older than a mouse, I don't know if I'll ever see him again, but do I really need to again. Grinding to a steep halt brings us to the end of our story, not nearly a compelling as Finding Dory. X is a fitting end for this sad lonely condescending man. He can look at his Ex-wife, Ex-house, Ex-car, I can't stand to talk about him anymore. I tried, it went okay.

[@tacocactuscomedy4876]

isnt it sad that this is very accurate?

[@SomeOne-gs7sy]

Yes :(

[@insertname7032]

Me : trying to be positive... KZbin : Me : you seriously not helping...

[@scubasteve68419]

Jesus Christ, do you people have any idea what "satire" means? The original book was very optimistic and whimsical. They are satirizing that view with a much more darker, pessimistic view. It's for HUMOR, for fuck's sake.

[@ignemuton5500]

*puts on shades* CollegeHumor, YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[@tifforo1]

Are you certain that's all there is?

[@pinkymii072]

What's funny to you isn't funny to everyone else

[@RANDOMGUYBRO2763]

@@pinkymii072 bro is passive-aggressive in text

[@LukeAaronMarsden]

No way, fuck that in any which way with my life and my dreams; *I* have last say I'll keep moving and pushing until I'm at my best because success stories are just that, not at all like the rest.

[@OpenParenthesis]

How did you make that "I" bold?

[@LukeAaronMarsden]

Place *'s around whatever you would like to make bold. That should be shift-8.

[@hansdug3072]

Your rhyming is awful, Luke Marsden my friend, Your syllables jumbled, and your grammar too, Poetry ought to flow up to its very end, Keep trying and maybe one day you'll come through. I loved this vid, because it does show, The problems that our western culture does face, It’s a reflection on life, and most people know, You’ll most likely end up in that place.

[@builderdex]

Then fourty you'll turn, Your dreams crash and burn.

[@HadBabits]

I'm not good at poetry, but it's sucks to get old. God is dead like your dreams. *bold* *bold* *bold* *bold*

[@mileshamby1845]

Sit back relax and... Smoke some weed

[@dervam5903]

Actually weed doesn't kill you sooooo

[@FallingStary]

I won't have to remember things clearly each day. I'll mix smoke and reality and do nothing but lay. My years will move quick, it was June now it May? I'll watch my dreams die but you say it okay. As I drift with the aliens, lmao ayyyye. I'll realize life suck and it's better this way.

[@ahundredbroken4644]

FallingStary aaawww you just made one of my dreams come true thanks!

[@bobbyfish8417]

now im fucking paranoid dude

[@SwordsmanMercenary]

Yeah? Screw you! I'm too stubborn to give up on my dreams! I'm going to keep writing my stories. (1 Publised!) I know that whatever I do to pay the bills does not define who I am! I am a writer! Also I haven't given up on my acting dream, it's never too late to become an actor and community theatre is just fine for me. I served eight years active duty too, it just gave me more material to work with.

[@SteveJobzz]

Hows it going brother?

[@SwordsmanMercenary]

@@SteveJobzz Pretty good, I got two shorts published so far.

[@wallywallendo]

@@SwordsmanMercenary what’s the story you got published? Self published or by a company.

[@SwordsmanMercenary]

@@wallywallendo It's a short story called 'Comes A Hunter' featured in Bardic Tales and Sage advice VOL8. Published by a company called Bards&Sages smalltime, but it's a start.

[@wallywallendo]

@@SwordsmanMercenary cool!

[@Andreazor]

It's depressing, because it describes my 27 years of life perfectly.

[@kristymelinda9799]

Never rely on fate or your own mind telling you to "do it tomorrow." You can go to college and pursue your dream job but you have to work for it. In the real world , you don't receive success. You earn it. In other words, there are no elevators in life. You have to take the stairs. I may be a teen, but I know adults who learned that the hard way. I'm just glad I was able to learn it the easy way.

[@gabemerritt3139]

i really hope i dont blink and let opportunities pass me by.

[@tlgmc1908]

+Kristy Melinda and you can fail in college, some people find success other's find out they need jobs to survive and when you're working 2-3 part time jobs your grades will begin to plummet

[@lernernernerdicapricorn6914]

you can make your own opportunities

[@VTH223]

Before video: *plays smash mouth's all star* After video: *CRAWLING* *IN MY SKIN*

[@someguywhohasareallylongus6314]

The best thing about being at rock bottom, is that the only place to go from there; is up

[@kovyvuri]

@Scott Stamp It's also a quote outside of that dumbass. (just in case you weren't joking, mostly sure you are tho. just wanting to make sure since some people make an idiot comment and are actually serious unfortunately.)

[@muhammadferdianrizki1640]

@@dansnohere8602 you can't mine bedrocks

[@zaarongaming8174]

@@muhammadferdianrizki1640 *Goes into creative mode*

[@kovyvuri]

@Quarter 55 indeed, i have.

[@nuclearpugg]

Oh it can always get worse and you can always get uglier this is what I wish I told my younger self

[@sadlobster1]

This may make the (satirical) jab at the idea that you'll never achieve big dreams. Like acting, music, cooking etc. I say, you CAN achieve these dreams. Provided you make smart decisions in getting there and that you never expect immediate success. For me, I published my first book back in 2007 and have thus written several others afterward. While I've yet to publish anything new, it's mainly because there are so few companies with reasonable prices to find. Regardless, my inspiration continues to flow and I still find time to help my family or friends. All those who desire immediate success by going on Millionaire or American Idol are the true delusional types

[@clowntrooper61]

What was the book called/about?

[@sadlobster1]

clowntrooper61 From what I can recall, it basically emphasizes the endless possibilities of one's future. This parody is saying we should never set our standards so high

[@clowntrooper61]

sadlobster1 Do you have any PDF of the book that I could read, copies or anything like that? It sounds like an interesting book

[@sadlobster1]

clowntrooper61 Sorry, I don't have a copy of my own

[@clowntrooper61]

sadlobster1 That's shame. Also a bit of a personal question, but did your book/s sell well?

[@catch3588]

If this is how you say life will be, then I challenge that theory, just wait and you'll see. I won't ever give up on my dreams because that's how I am, I'm going to prove you wrong, just wait and you'll see. ~By some random narutard

[@katie-st8nx]

+Mr. Insane DAT NINDO THOUGH but in all fairness most people will end up like gamatasu [spelled incorrectly] that little frog who ya.......well was a failure

[@catch3588]

katelyn ast Didn't he grow tho into this huge thing 

[@nonuvurbeeznus795]

+Mr. Insane nice rhyming just kiddin fucking idiot

[@catch3588]

Nonuv Urbeeznus K

[@falco5824]

+My57 Love that show though the ending sucked

[@simij7350]

Think like this and that exactly how you'll end up! :D

[@laurenpinkiepie8663]

(not to anyone just my brother ur fine)fucking hate u (this might be a reply tho).-.crap

[@lunanyberg4779]

So believing that life will be easier than it actually is for people helps people according to you then?

[@ddavis5708]

@@lunanyberg4779 Its better then not at all

[@baacloud]

I clicked on this while procrastinating and it actually motivated me more to work hard...

[@Phi24]

Dr.Seuss Was Mute.

[@iamgay6207]

Liar

[@VTPPGLVR]

To those with dreams a little more meager, this video should make you all the more eager to reach out and grab those simpler delights: like a place of your own, and a job to keep on your lights, with enough money to catch a movie or two. A life of simple joys CAN be achieved by you!

[@tanookitoad979]

Wow, what clever AND creative comedy, not to mention, subtle. I NEVER would have thought to make a fun children's story actually dark and cynical! This is truly the cutting edge, nobody has ever made it this far in the history comedic content. Great moves, keep it up.

[@menicman7044]

Video: So sit back, relax, and... Me: Enjoy a healthy dose of *P R O L O N G E D E Y E C O N T A C T* .

[@StrykThaScene]

Bo burnham gang!

[@GengarTheTroll14]

This is actually somewhat true...

[@TabalugaDragon]

only somewhat

[@ThanksIhateyoutoo]

Cynical realists unite! This is probably accurate for most people. No shame in having a job in a cubicle.

[@adampettus2893]

I beg to differ, and honestly will never understand how anyone could except such a meaningless existence. ( know I won't)

[@ThanksIhateyoutoo]

+My57 probably a long time since being a cynic has no connection to severe depression, and is not generally considered to be lethal. Being cynical doesn't mean you can't be happy, it just means you asses things as they are, and always look your gift horse in the mouth. That kind of grounded reality can keep you alive for a long time.

[@adampettus2893]

That is rather mean if that's what it means. Cant anyone disagree anymore without one trying to goad the other into suicide?

[@darwinxavier3516]

+Nicholas Musser "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin I too was once bright eyed and hopeful, until I learned how cruel and apathetic the universe is. But such revelation did not make me depressed, not for long at least. Instead it freed me from the lies of unreasonable expectations. I was free to be content with myself, to be satisfied enough with my life. I saw all the good things I had instead of forever being hungry for the things I didn't have.

[@Starpilot149]

+Adam Pettus I'm actually aiming for a calm, boring, financially secure office job. During my off hours, I'll be piloting star fighters in virtual reality, and pursuing any one of countless hobbies and interests accessible to people in modern developed countries.

[@ufcnewsdaily]

My parents: what did you do today Me: gave up on my dreams

[@tsuwumugi3617]

RIGHT IN THE HOPES AND DREAMS

[@MasterChild117]

I'll re-post this for new viewers to read. Keep On Dreaming Look fellow commenters there's no need for sorrow. You may be down now but there's always tomorrow. You may not be rich or financially secured. But that's no reason to give up or end up detoured. So keep your head high and follow your dreams because those who believe shall surely achieve or so it seems. It may be hard and you might want to quit you might think to yourself is it worth all this shit. But think back to when you were just a wee kid, your dreams are what motivated you and all that you did. To sit back and just let them die without putting up so much as a fight is wrong in so many ways it could never be right. Now I'll end this chat with a word to all you dreamers, keep dreaming and dreaming and never stop. Let your dreams motivate and carry you all the way to the top. Then dream higher and higher and higher and higher. P.S. Don't let this vid extinguish that fire.

[@braniacc]

Yes, the world is a bad place, Of this we all know And base expectations just grow grow grow grow Everyone's been to college, everyone's got XP. There are hundreds of people more qualified than me. At the end of the day, though, you must realize that the one gaining status does more than just "tries" Do or do not, there isn't a "try" You'll need to do crazy, stupid things to get by. Join the army for 4 years, and hope you see action If only to give your resume some traction. Go big, go outrageous, go over the top. Cause really, it's the only way to be sure your dream catching won't flop.

[@traj07]

You can either look at this as depressing or motivating.

[@SqueegeeLuigiVR]

I was expecting a comedy run, but all I got was an existential crisis

[@thatguycalledphil6808]

My point is... While I can't see the future, so I can't guarantee, But knowing your yourself can control where you'll be. You may not be strong or your mind not so bright, But you have an instinct, a will if you might. A spirit that has you driven to work hard for an honest living. Whether it's at school, studying in class Or chores at home, busting your...oh...how crass! I was once like you, or you once like me, both pondering," where will we be?" The years go by, the thought returns another day with the worries of challenges blocking our way. The obstacles however, you may not even know it, can be varied by the goal and how you go for it. With passion comes effort and with effort you may find success, though sadly ,with some things, you can only try your best. A goal is but a tool, one to get you in the rush and a dream can only do so much. While the odds aren't always so fair, the chance to take another step in life is always out there. That could mean extra chores or overtime, though extra schooling is a favorite of mine. You may not think you gone vary far, but it's whether you'll go for that step that defines who you are. Everyone, no matter how much your pay shared a thought at one point, were curious one day. I can't see the future, so I can't guarantee, just find your will and take a step, and you'll see where you'll be. Oh! And another thing, perhaps the most important I'll say, cling to the people you have, life is easier that way.

[@gino14]

Don't worry too much about what was or what will be. The present is... well, a present. Just focus on making it count. Make the best of today, and who knows? Maybe tomorrow won't be so bad.

[@missingno3391]

"Maybe tomorrow wont be so bad" Today is great. Every day is great. Life is great.

[@zakosist]

+Reginald Uy I think you will usually regret not planning or working for a better future

[@uh7554]

Stop. I'm only 11 and you make me feel old.

[@Valmont334]

This hits home for anyone born in the early 80's or after :) (I'm not saying "millenial" because I have no idea what that exact cut off is anymore, but basically the last 30 years this has been the case)

[@ethangray8527]

This obviously doesn't apply to me. Instead than getting fat I am probably going to die of some horrid disease.

[@Zacho789]

Mr. Pumpkin More likely you'll get gravely injured couple weeks from now when someone carves your face out to make a jack o'lantern

[@ethangray8527]

Zacho789 Sounds good to me.

[@EariosRandomness]

Eh, try eternity as the Daedric Prince of Madness. CHEESE!

[@saneledlamini3219]

EariosRandomness Sheogorath !

[@smproductions7141]

1:19 to 1:25 School in a nutshell.

[@forsakenchannel7816]

true story

[@ActionYakPolice]

my 6th grade teacher read this to me to inspire me and it did make me feel better. I'm 36 and have a part time job at fazolis lol

[@thatidentitythief8962]

Oh well that's just life isn't it? It kicks you when you are down, it spits in your face when you are crying and it holds you back any way it can so just remember if you can get close enough take your 2 fingers and hit life in the neck and you will be fine.

[@drunkmoons3133]

This is making me read comments in the same rhyme Only to realize that wasn't the plan, maybe next time

[@TwctlccGM]

Drunkmoons I do the same but I cannot rhyme your comment for the life of me

[@nonamer741]

Well this is depressing

[@Ultrasun-fv5de]

I didn't even learn from this. Then again, my mom did achieve her dream of being an architect, and even went on to become a management professional at IBM.

[@Emcroy]

0:00 - 0:37 is when you're 18 and under 0:38 - 2:12 is your late 20's, when you finally figure all the shit in this video out.

[@josel317]

If someone showed 18 year old me this video, he would have flipped and told you how wrong you would be, but 28 year old me currently knows how low you can be.

[@GeneralChickenPiece]

Actually that end part may not be true. Dr Seuss is actually a philosopher. You may notice a lot of his books tackle serious philosophical dilemma's's, as well as having a child friendly moral. I'd say that the advice Dr Seuss gives you about life would be pretty sound actually, that is, of course, assuming that in this video you are imitating Dr Seuss.

[@HVACSoldier]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If only “Doctor” Seuss told us the truth back when we were kids.

[@pinkymii072]

no, this really isn't the truth this is what a lot of richer folks wish was the truth, but really your worth isn't just based off of what you can achieve and parents aren't supposed to stop loving you if you can't move out by 30

[@HVACSoldier]

@@pinkymii072 Luckily, most of us here were probably born in the US or Western Europe, or some other developed country. It’s a lot easier to pursue our dreams of making it big in a country like the US. In developing nations, you have to bribe a local government official.

[@rosskardon7195]

We do not live in the parallel universe of The Brady Bunch and we do not live in the parallel universe of The Partridge Family! Unfortunately, we live in a real life, tough-as-nails universe, that is exactly just like the tough-as-nails parallel universe of Game of Thrones!

[@jcrowley1985]

Growing up sucks. That's why I'm a babyfur.

[@jcrowley1985]

***** You said a naughty word, I'm telling!!!

[@jcrowley1985]

***** I know you are but what am I? *sticks tongue out*

[@mthzb]

You and your kind are the perfect argument for NOT stopping bullying.

[@jcrowley1985]

mthzb why? for being different?

[@hansdug3072]

Oh god... Do I stand up for a furry, or not stand up to a troll? Both are equally hideous options....

[@AuraDesruGaming]

Blame Capitalism

[@n0denz]

Because socialism and a larger government is better, right?

[@AuraDesruGaming]

tetrisclock no Smoke weed ervyday

[@harriffanconshertini8804]

TetrisClock It actually is

[@germangamingvideos6069]

@@harriffanconshertini8804 If it would work it would be better yes

[@blazetino5713]

Nah I think a virtual reality world would be better.

[@kuzeydemir910]

this crap will only happen if you give up

[@SomeOne-gs7sy]

Yep

[@antomov1072]

Kuzey Demir and if you don't

[@juliendacoolien3454]

If you tired of starting over, stop. Giving. Up. JUST DO IT

[@kuzeydemir910]

Antonio Gallardo​ well if you dont give up you potential to take over earth

[@iamacowhello5910]

Kuzey Demir no, it dosent work like that... it probably will happpen anyways even if you try

[@urmysunshine9492]

This is what our world has come 2, and here we r watching a documentation of it and laughing.

[@treyjackson2038]

You shot happiness in the face with a shotgun

[@withyoctopus]

This video is for 20somethings. My former school friends self-worth and happiness crumbles because they didn't get the good jobs and education. Others toil and are nearly as unhappy. I think that's what this video is about. We need to feel worthy of happiness even without the high status. Elsewise we might be incredibly sad and lonely for a long time or forever.

[@Abc123______]

This video actually affected me.. wow, I was so motivated before seeing it lmaooo, whelp time to work twice as hard.

[@Dianagibbs33]

While in Animal Crossing, you arrive at your new town and randomly get elected mayor

[@VoraXYZ]

NOOO way I'm letting this happen to me. Uh uh. Nope.

[@VoraXYZ]

I'm not so sure I believe in fate. I'm gonna fight it. This is not happening to me.

[@svenrolphsen5736]

+Vora Z In America you can choose your fate, up to a point. The trick is to be joyful wherever life takes you.

[@JayXIsSad]

Yeah keep thinking that.

[@Pleaseunderstand]

+Vora Z "This is not happening to me" - Every single human being ever. RIP.

[@joesr31]

+Vora Z thats what every say, everyone believe that they are the special snowflake but there can only be so many. I wish you all the best, but don't get too down if you are just...average

[@evunee]

Is everyone in the comment section an idiot? The video was for humor! Whether you say this video is completely true or false, it's a parody!

[@glykos5035]

Hits hard during Quarantine

[@frootsnacc6790]

I became a rich artist and photographer who travels the world, who would give up on their dreams?

[@doejhonny]

I did.

[@cornbreadloverrr]

Judging from your crappily drawn pfp I highly doubt it but ok

[@altoclef4989]

You sell Younique products.

[@amyro5562]

Damn you D. Seuss

[@GatesOfAvalon1]

Seriously this ruined my childhood when I watched it when it came out

[@Emberilliance]

The odd thing, however, about these high goals you've set // Is that they'll actually thrust you deeply into debt // You'll spend years and years paying off your loans // Worth more than the whole budget for "Game of Thrones" // And oh, another twist: what you've worked so hard for // Is not the career that will make your heart soar! // You see, society tells us that in order to be content, // We need to be rich, have lots of dollars and cents // So you're pushed into training for a job that pays well // Even if your morals are shot straight to hell // So when you're in college, do what is smart // And listen to the voice inside of your heart // This voice knows best, and trust me when I say // That you will be much happier this way.

[@LindeusTheBaum]

I am fifteen and you have just shattered all my dreams. Thank you very much. Edit: hmmmm i do not care live kannot surprise me if i Stay cool Another Edit: I'm now seventeen and life is getting weirder and weirder

[@LindeusTheBaum]

third edit: made it to eighteen!