THOSE WE CARRY | Omeleto

A terminally-ill woman goes to a cabin to die with dignity.
THOSE WE CARRY is used with permission from Rachel Borders. Learn more at rachelborders.com.
A mother and her adult daughter are spending the weekend at a cabin in the woods in California. But the pair are close, but this is no ordinary trip for them. The mother is terminally-ill, and she has decided to end her life on her terms. They're spending one last weekend together before she goes.
In many ways, it's a peaceful, pleasant weekend, though marred by the mother's physical suffering. They enjoy the quiet of the remote setting. But even as mother and daughter spend time together, they're aware that their final goodbyes are on the horizon.
Directed and written by Rachel Borders, this affecting, resonant short drama is a warm and tender portrait of a mother and daughter saying goodbye to one another before the mother makes an irreversible decision after a long period of suffering and pain. Not only is the film a testament to the profound love between a mother and her now-grown child, but it also captures the emotional complexity of its subject matter with great empathy and respect.
Like the secluded backwoods setting of the story, the film has the look and feel of an idyllic, hushed space carved out away from the hustle and bustle of life. The cinematography is weighed by grain and shadows, but it's also dappled with sunlight during the day, bestowing an atmosphere of peace over the film's two characters. Similarly, the action and plot of the narrative are both quiet yet weighty, as we see the mom struggle physically with her debilitating condition and her daughter attempts to help. Yet the mother insists on doing things herself, demonstrating an innate toughness and dignity.
The steady, almost serene storytelling doesn't manufacture a complicated plotline, instead focusing on character and relationships as the drivers of the emotional arc and leaning heavily on the excellent performances by both actors of the film to create momentum. Actor Nancy Travis offers an unaffected, unsentimental yet tender performance as the mother, one lacking in self-pity but still painfully aware of the import of her decision. She portrays the balancing act of a woman who is ready to go, but for the deep and abiding love for her daughter, played by actor Adrienne Visnic with both vulnerability and empathy.
In many ways, Visnic's character has the largest emotional journey to travel in THOSE WE CARRY, for while she attempts to stay positive and loving, she can't help but want to hold onto her mother for just a while longer. Her mother's last living act is to help her daughter learn to let go, to accept her decision and find solace in her relief from suffering. She must learn to find the same kind of peace that her mother did in her acceptance of mortality -- and trust that her mother's love endures within her, even if parted by death.

[@roberthesz2356]

I went through something very similar with my mother, so...I have only one thing to say to everybody ; nobody in the world will love more than your mother; the devotion my mother had for me, a Holocaust survivor ; will never be matched ; and I did everything I could for her ; I however did have a very spiritual moment on her last day though I didn't know it...I came early waiting for an appointment with the nurse as they were going to send her home to me in a couple of days...the nurse never showed up and so i ended up spending the afternoon there and for some reason I was calm not upset and I end up feeding her lunch spoon by spoon as she no longer was motivated to eat and only because it was me...and I felt like I was feeding a baby ; it was her last meal as she past the following morning at 6 am I received a call from the hospital that she past ...my last words to her were "you will always be in my heart as I slipped my hand under hers...I took care off her for 2 years in my house and I was so proud that. I would have never spent the afternoon if it wasn't for the appointment with the nurse... though I didn't know it I realized the next day how fortunate It was for me to be there for so long ...I guess I was given the opportunity to say goodbye in the most pleasant manner... it was also a beautiful clear sunny morning from her room and I am sure she enjoyed the beauty of the view...anyways I have never stopped lighting a candle for her since 2016...

[@SharonNolfi]

Lovely portrayal of a good death, self-determined and surrounded by love.

[@Cartier_specialist]

Not a happy topic but one we all must make peace with.

[@oldhippie81]

I'm getting old and i hope i can go out the same way on my terms, when the time comes.

[@corrado9683]

We all do. Just relax and feel asleep, forever. But enjoy life first.

[@NKdidit.24]

Put it in writing now so no one can choose for you

[@davidowens5898]

Me too. And I intend to.

[@mtaylor325]

I love the phrase "wonderfully insignificant." I'll remember that when my time comes. What a beautiful little film.

[@KLondike5]

There's a comedian who had a final, planned party with his terminal mother in a similar way. Waiting for the body to exhaust itself while in hospice care is brutal and unnecessary.

[@erikkollasch]

The legendary Doug Stanhope

[@emilyemily444]

Beautifully done to a topic that, we all reserve the right to have control over our own deaths and how we choose to go🙏

[@brunan9655]

I cried so much My sister is going through hell with an autoimmune disease and I can’t help Amazing film

[@luxuryqueen42]

@@brunan9655prayers for your sister 🙏💕

[@Deepbluecat]

@@brunan9655 I wish your sister and you all the best

[@ArchRT0528]

Holy cow, if I were the daughter I would have been bawling my eyes out since the drive in.

[@toneenorman2135]

Like I am,right now….

[@NKdidit.24]

You don't know how strong you are until you have to be

[@dominiqueferrari3224]

This right here. I'm not crying, you're crying. A beautiful film on a powerful subject that really resonated personally.

[@corrado9683]

Sad, but a great story. We’re all so lucky to be here and breathe.

[@sticksbass]

better than dying in misery in the hospital being brought back to life 5 times before they finally let u go.

[@gemstar7286]

Yeah Might aswell enjoy nature and be in the fresh air , so many people hate dying in hospitals. It's a very sensitive issue,as you don't want the person to be in pain anymore .... it's difficult . There's was another Omeleto like this ,a couple went to a hotel room .

[@sticksbass]

@@gemstar7286 yeah, i saw that. im conflicted about assisted suicide but really dont c whats wrong w it if one is in physical agony that cant b cured and is dying anyway. i believe mental anguish is something that can b worked through. animals and serial killers get to b put to sleep so why not others?

[@eugenetswong]

We shouldn't be reviving people. If we can let them die quickly and painlessly, then we should take advantage of that. Portraying death as comfortable seems like a bad idea to me. I could imagine some people might not do it properly, and then have a big surprise mess to clean up.

[@the_CEO_of_foxes]

Wow these actors are great

[@soliloquiesbyshailja5416]

Such a brave daughter 🫡.

[@galukya1]

All this beautiful death this, on own terms that, I am just 💔 😭. This is a beautiful done short. 🤲🏾💞

[@GRosa250]

Excellent and touching. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the 90’s and was in terrible pain as a result. He said it felt like someone was swirling a red hot branding iron around in his abdomen. Unfortunately assisted suicide wasn’t legally available back then so he contemplated taking his own life. I talked him out of it and I wish I hadn’t. I remember right before he died the nurse was turning him on his side to change the sheets and he was shaking uncontrollably in horrendous pain.

[@s1234pro]

My father died of AIDS in 1996. He talked about Dr. Kevorkian's work. It worried me. He too suffered so, but he died with all of us surrounding him.

[@GRosa250]

@@s1234pro I’m sorry for your loss and I’m sure your father was grateful to be surrounded by loved ones when he died.

[@luxuryqueen42]

@@GRosa250 sorry for your loss 🌹

[@luxuryqueen42]

@@s1234prosorry for your loss 🌹

[@walterhayley7252]

From the time we're born, we all are "terminally ill." Most of us just don't pick the time and place for our exit. A well done film...

[@MsSherrick]

So beautiful. This should be an option for everyone facing the end of life.

[@aarons7975]

Sadly the religions want to stick their dirty noses into YOUR business and refuse to let you die in peace and will do anything they can to keep you suffering until the very end, and the medical institution drains you of every penny you ever owned that you wanted to leave for the children.

[@kurtjens]

I'd like to be as fortunate as that woman, dying so well.

[@sirlaugholot]

Made me cry so hard it hurt. Life is not fair, to or for any of us. Made me feel like I needed to be held or have a hug or something.

[@sirdannyfarber]

incredibly touching film, great job Rachel!

[@macekreislahomes1690]

One should have the right to die, and live, with honor, dignity, and respect, on their terms, as much as possible.

[@JohnProthero]

The acting is brilliant - in the long silences.

[@daveparkes8539]

I know what it feels like to slip away and die from a widowmaker heart attack 💔. I wasn't afraid. I didn't cry. I knew what was about to happen. I didn't panic at all. I was 40 minutes from the nearest hospital 🏥 It was a tombstone call for the ambulance. He showed up at the last second with one of the few newly approved clot busting needles. I live everyday knowing and accepting that death is a part of living. Please stop reciting your memes and start living them. But most if all, fall in love with yourself. Dave

[@rachelstern5737]

Fantastic short very worth watching!

[@Prizzy999]

So beautiful and powerful. It takes great courage and strength to do it. We should cherish every day we spend on this planet.

[@francescarollins9767]

Damn it! Weeping now. SO beautifully made. Well done!!!!

[@scottjohnson6455]

That rang very true. At my age I consider this scenario every day.

[@meka1896]

It's very interesting how our parents took care of us in our earlier years before it's eventually our turn to take care of them...for those that are unselfish.

[@ozzyktm]

Also how when we are young children our parents lift us up off the floor or the ground for cuddles or whatever reason and then one day some years later without thinking they put us down and never pick us up again......think about it.

[@RPRosen-ki2fk]

@@ozzyktm WOW, you just blew my mind with your comment. Life is full of landmark moments, some we are aware of and some we ignore or don't notice. Thank you for calling that one to my attention. I think few give that one the weight it deserves.

[@ozzyktm]

@@RPRosen-ki2fk Awesome, seems my job here is done. Cheers!

[@Prizzy999]

I'm taking better care on an emotional and empathetic level of my sick elderly mother that she ever did with me when I was a child. Some people shouldn't be parents but they're lucky enough to have children who do not abandon them when they're old and no longer self sufficient.

[@RPRosen-ki2fk]

@@TheAstroflight Your comment really slaps. Imagining your childhood saddens me. I hope your life has improved, and I wish only good things for you going forward. edit - And to you Prizzy, also.

[@AJTowne]

Beautifully shot. Wonderfully acted. I'm following this director for sure.

[@user-ss2yw6cn8b]

So beautiful, and well acted, directed and produced!

[@quinnquinlan]

A beautiful and devastating short. Outstanding acting by both Nancy and Adrienne. The writing was so touching. The line "A beautiful life" had me tearing up! Fantastic job all around.

[@jeseverage-allen570]

I'm normally very indifferent about death, it doesn't make me sad. This was beautiful and I'm ugly crying.

[@erikkollasch]

I’m not crying, you’re crying

[@user-hy9sf2mx7c]

I bawled

[@lee-leesong5941]

Wow they looked like real mother & daughter!

[@jaredcrenshaw7665]

Everything is about the individual. All rights belong to the person. That includes living and dying. Like everything else the state must stay out of it.

[@anastasiachaliman4234]

Wow. That was so beautiful. So beautifully acted, written, shot and directed. That's the kind of relationship I have with my oldest daughter. We're best friends. I'm bawling my eyes out.

[@jamiegallier2106]

Beautiful.

[@ivanbasson982]

Are we all sure she is really TERMINALLY ILL.....????

[@MartinRoddis]

thank you

[@sdotyall]

Is the mother Nancy Travis who played the mother of the baby in 3 Men and a baby movie...she was in a bunch of other things too

[@luxuryqueen42]

She was also on a show called “Becker”

[@sdotyall]

@@luxuryqueen42 was Ted Danson in that?

[@luxuryqueen42]

@@sdotyall yes Ted Danson was “Becker” lol

[@cleliaparnell8743]

Tim Allen's wife on the show where family owned a sporting goods store

[@wiliamsantana572]

Amazing

[@Jo-yp8wy]

I wish my Mum could have a dignified death. But she has very bad dementia. I miss her so much already...

[@Amy2024x]

😢

[@zeroceiling]

I’m dealing with it right now. They called me that her blood pressure dropped from 105 / 60 to 65 / 30…by the time I got there we really thought she had passed away…but they said that she was very dehydrated from a UTI….so somehow we let them bring her back…buying temporary time to decide what to do next time. Yesterday I played her some of her favorite classical music next to her ear…and she seemed to smile and grow peaceful…..so for now we carry on. I’m sorry that you obviously had a similar tough experience.

[@dandeliondreamer3365]

I am assuming this is about legal assisted suicide, legal, in only a few states in the US, in California called the California end of life Act. I know it’s controversial, I think it’s humane in many cases if you have ever seen anyone die a slow painful death…still what a painful decision, I don’t know if I would have the strength the daughter, nor the mother in this film had, great film though, beautiful, so sad, realistic.

[@PeterMurphyComedy]

No spoilers in the comments please.

[@luxuryqueen42]

Don’t read the comments before watching the film lol

[@eugenetswong]

It's a predictable ending. I agree about no spoilers, but these video tend to share the same political views.

[@davedunbar8884]

At 12:00, did she just put her hand on poison ivy? Nice short!

[@MSKR111]

Who else answered Insignificant before she said it.♥

[@HopefulMathGirl]

You're not insignificant, none of us are. We are all the same, we are love.

[@philwilliams5465]

I had guessed why they were there by then, but thought she was going to say “……alive”.

[@durasaxon5131]

To LIFE It is precious The love between a Mom and child can be irreplaceable. To the memories Superb acting. Palatable and believable. + Durasaxon +✝️

[@balainblue]

💌 "wonderfully insignificant" :)

[@user-gq6bq5vt2g]

Beautiful portrayal of a loving family relationship and the inevitable universal experience: death. I look forward to Ms. Borders next project..

[@ablarousse5273]

I wish it could be that way for me. But will the law permit it?

[@carolynhughes9205]

Why did she give her death toast in honor of her daughter?

[@spicybrown75]

Why not?

[@Summerdee223]

In my mind it is because her daughter was the most important thing in her life. She was actually giving a gift to her daugher in a way. It is so very painful to watch your mother die a slow and difficult death.

[@princessdorsei576]

So sad 😢 when I go I want a nice fat blunt I wanna go higher den ever nice n at peace . My fav meal n music playing in da background n best off all my kids dere with me till the end.

[@adriannathegreat9890]

lol@ nice fat blunt

[@Zainygreenstone]

Weird relationship dynamic

[@conniehanses]

Choice....💙🌎🤟

[@blueanima8623]

Society does not understand what it has given up in surrendering the sacredness life and the heavy taboo of suicide. I guess we will have to learn the hard way.

[@VeretenoVids]

We've given up nothing. We've enabled those who choose (strong emphasis on CHOOSE) to end their lives to have dignified deaths on their own terms to rather than dying a long, slow, agonizingly painful death.

[@crystalvera9560]

What was in the cup she drank to end her life?

[@marinaneary7502]

Mother and daughter look like they are 15 years apart

[@gmanlance8027]

Promoting euthanasia?no shame from these actors,we don't know what tomorrow holds, could be more bearable, maybe the day after better, maybe in time a cure or some relieving treatment

[@marinaneary7502]

I am like super uncomfortable with normalization of suicide.

[@lizziem]

That's such a shame. We wouldn't leave a dog in agony with a poor quality of life, we would choose 'to put it out of its misery'. Can we consider allowing humans to do the same and with dignity?

[@rebeccalynn7795]

i agree. very slippery slope that could easily take us from accepted to expected.

[@lizziem]

@@rebeccalynn7795 I think it should always come down to freedom of choice.

[@VeretenoVids]

@@rebeccalynn7795 I want this to be legal everywhere, with very well thought out regulations about consent. I don't want to put my family through the horror of a body slowly eating itself from the inside.

[@rebeccalynn7795]

@@VeretenoVids have you ever heard of anyone being charged for attempted suicide? do you really think cancer will be the 'reason'? have you researched the 'reasons' where it is already being promoted ?

[@annatullison1482]

I still do NOT agree with taking our lives.....our souls were bought with a HEAVY PRICE....IF one believes in that sort of thing but it is still good story about acceptance of what was going to come .

[@luxuryqueen42]

People have free will. They’re still gonna do what they want. Just focus on ur own life.

[@annatullison1482]

@Luxury Queen OUR lives are not ours to take had a brother who committed suicide. So yes you have free will, but all choices we make do have consequences

[@eugenetswong]

@@luxuryqueen42Don't say that! People are going to do what they want, so focus on your own life. Let her say what she wants!

[@cathyheston3029]

To anyone that thinks this is ok, GOD'S time is not man's.

[@VeretenoVids]

Your god, perhaps. If you believe your god demands you to suffer horribly to the end of your life, then you go right ahead and honor your god. Your beliefs are wholly irrelevant to those who do not follow your god.

[@luxuryqueen42]

Well my God gave us free will and whatever we choose he’ll be with us. My God doesn’t want us to suffer.

[@eugenetswong]

Finally! Somebody says this in the comments. These types of films give the topic a warm fuzzy feeling. It's dangerous for society. Death shouldn't be warm and fuzzy. I support the use of pain killers, and something to take away pain and other discomfort, but nothing to end the life unless guilt is part of the decision.

[@hummingbird027]

Our life doesn't belong to us. We belong to Yahweh who determines our departure from Earth, not us. Suicide is murdering what Yahweh has made and we have no right to take away what the Almighty has created. Where will you spend eternity? Just saying.... Maranatha everyone, Yeshua is coming soon and the righteous will inherit His Kingdom forever!!!

[@adriannathegreat9890]

Yes, but does God prefer us to suffer a slow and painful death? I know suicide is not His will, but if you are the one suffering you might feel differently.

[@Hopeful168]

Euthanasia is wrong and no amount of replies to this comment can prove this wrong

[@saramatthews7159]

I disagree it is not wrong if a person has a terminal illness/in a state of constant pain.

[@KLondike5]

Even if it's part of your religious beliefs, I don't understand why so many try to apply those beliefs to protect others who don't.

[@CharemTheShadox]

@@KLondike5 Because some cannot find security in their beliefs unless they can push others to follow them as well. It's sad.

[@ipadista]

First of all, Euthanasia is the wrong term in this context. It covers all actions/inactions ending a patient's life, be it suspending treatment, giving a lethal injection of a pain killer, etc. This is about Self-administered euthanasia, where a conscious person chooses to exit on their own terms. You might not think it's your way to end a terminal illness, and that is your choice. In the same manner, you should grant others the freedom to choose how they exit their terminal illness.

[@michaelfried3123]

Let me guess, you're religious and even though dying gracefully is between a person and God you wanna come in between that because you think you have the right? This is why so many people are shunning religion in America...

[@max-jayderomero7743]

This was raw and real and soooo touching! What acting!

[@jeffreyjablowicz1200]

Very nice

[@jimmyjones9780]

For the first 5 minutes nothing happened .... Terrible actresses and the cabin looks like it's just been cleaned, so I turned this one off !!!