ONN's Autistic Reporter II

At the scene of a train accident.

[@averroesmuthalib1611]

"the train is fine" "but the person is dead" "THE TRAIN IS FINE"

[@spectre2891]

Aristotle will be very proud

[@elyria9788]

@@spectre2891 Aristotle sucks ass. He is so overrated and was wrong about nearly everything.

[@qpol]

@@spectre2891 the train is fine

[@definitivedatpoodlenoodle5366]

Poor guy. But at least the trains ok

[@senorita-qh6bm]

As an autistic person myself the train provides so much value both to the community and the city while that man only provided value to maybe 3 mom neighbors

[@kl3321]

Him infodumping about the train while the image of the victim was shown had me dying

[@cordan305]

As dead as the guy who got hit by it?

[@PlayWaves1]

@@cordan305 The train is fine don't worry.

[@cordan305]

@@PlayWaves1 Oh thank God

[@mariahmayers8869]

@@PlayWaves1 Had me worrying for a second there

[@TheHorseOutside]

Had the man dying too

[@WAVE0025]

"Reporter Michael Falk has the story" "I have the story" That straight up just killed me

[@placeholdername0000]

But the train is in perfect condition.

[@mattmathematics3591]

Same😂

[@OrthoKarter]

the train is fine

[@evelyngomez9944]

The reporter does indeed... Have the story

[@juanleon3875]

The good thing is it was a person and not something damaging

[@pum6454]

the fact that this satirical video depicts an autistic person better than the good doctor is hilarious

[@Mignon15]

I couldn't get through 10 mins of that show. It was so shit.

[@UtterlyClueless1]

That show was a joke

[@catscanhavelittleasalami]

I AM- I AM A SURGEON

[@tankhuncarps]

Watched the 1st episode and then I went back to kdrama version because I need to reset my brain

[@junkiedropouts3186]

​@@tankhuncarpsDoes the Korean version quickly turn into a liberal propaganda machine, celebrating abortion and pregnant men?

[@TheEuroboss]

The fact they had the audacity to even write "autitsic reporter" at the bottom is even funnier

[@ProjectMoff]

Well yeah it’s part of the joke

[@parkaller7959]

This is the Onion.

[@Lola_Nico]

It’s giving Family Guy when they say “Asian Reporter, Trisha Takanawa”.💀

[@ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb]

Someone ate the Onion

[@Joshua429]

I saw that too like I think they were trying to get this to go viral for the lol’s

[@od3910]

The way he runs away from people when he's done talking is just beautiful. That used to be my go to action

[@alqaeda9841]

Literally me if i have to do presentation, "ok thank you, any question? No question. Bye"

[@YeahButCanISniffUrPantsFist]

why would autism make u run away?

[@Dimitri88888888]

@@YeahButCanISniffUrPantsFist because you have no need to stay there anymore, so you want to move on as quickly as possible.

[@kateb2643]

@@YeahButCanISniffUrPantsFist Social anxiety. Loathing small talk, particularly with strangers. The near constant urge to just go home. Obviously exaggerated, but Michael Falk is weirdly of the one of best autistic representations we actually have in media. Most are painfully inaccurate. This feels informed by experience.

[@Play_Now]

​@@YeahButCanISniffUrPantsFist He simply has nothing left to say

[@shikanosuke8898]

this is genuinely the most satisfying way to have news delivered, you get all the details you need and a bunch more you didnt

[@sfsaviation]

autistic people are genetically superior, they are only brought down by big pharma because they are scared of the superior genes ridding the need for modern medicine

[@applesandgrapesfordinner4626]

@@sfsaviation Sir, this is walgreens

[@bigfloppa5731]

@@sfsaviation this sounds like something an autistic person would say...

[@dtrox0271]

@@bigfloppa5731 that sounds like something a non-autistic person would say...

[@GoyFromFinland]

@@dtrox0271 Great.

[@Henry-kz4gn]

why is that weird guy obsessing about a person being dead, i mean the train is fine

[@nickhempenius9451]

Had a Uni roomate with Autism, and he had some interesting concerns in every situation lol

[@seaninherts]

It’s not a real news report.

[@kotindustrie5584]

@@seaninherts no shit sherlock

[@seaninherts]

@@kotindustrie5584 Dude, I’M REPLYING to someone who thinks IT IS REAL. I know you’ve heard that terribly amusing phrase, but much like Peter Griffin keeps quoting Lethal Weapon pay-offs out of context, I think you are too. “ROADHOUSE!!!”

[@kotindustrie5584]

@@seaninherts bruh im too stoned to read dat

[@Piclue44]

I love how his character actually seems to be based on more realistic symptoms of ASD instead of him only having the “insane memory and much smart” thing that most tv shows have.

[@Piclue44]

Btw this is the onion(a satirical news station) and the actor isn’t autistic

[@nappa3550]

Autistic people usually have good memory? It seems each day I realize how mild my Autism is, and how much more my ADHD (inattentive type/ADD) with additional cognitive impairment is. I'm pretty smart, but I learn a lot slower and my "internal processing speed" is a lot slower than usual as well. Otherwise, just the way he starts out I can relate to because that's where my mind would go to first as well.

[@Piclue44]

@@nappa3550 photographic memory is just a stereotype tv shows push to make autism seem like a superpower instead of a normal, yet different way of thinking. You can’t be any less autistic than another autistic person; Everyone experiences autism differently. Btw I would recommend seeing the onion’s other videos with this reporter. The video where he interviews a prisoner is very realistic and fun to watch.

[@JohnRNewAccountNumber3]

​@@Piclue44 I wouldn't call it normal. There's not much of a historical precedent to draw upon when talking about severe autism, and very mild autism can just as easily be misdiagnosed when someone is a bit quirky in their habits and interactions with others.

[@somerandomguy5977]

Photographic memory and autism is a thing in one thing The Big Bang Theory. It's not a trope.

[@davidmcgarry7207]

The moment he said "I have the story" I knew I was not prepared for what this man was about to hit me with

[@daizdamien1409]

The man got hit was not prepared either

[@INRamos13]

"Thank you Michael" "YES"

[@to-ur1ri]

this is me 100% of the time

[@buccos2324]

it's now time for business news

[@bulbasaurlol]

Alright. OK

[@Bongus_Bubogus]

Thank you Ramos

[@htsgm]

YES

[@wakkowarner8810]

before it came to a complete stop it ran over three trash bags, a piece of gum, a man, and a glove. **loved it**

[@TheSassi14]

@Joseph Mason If it was a KitKat, it would be a tragedy. But Snickers taste disgusting and deserve to be run over by trains.

[@runningthor1999]

You forgot the Snickers wrapper you forgot the Snickers wrapper you forgot the Snickers wrapper.

[@brandonknight431]

@@runningthor1999 lololololololololololololffkthfhkgfdhgdgyyfgggghuuhggghgggdddr

[@Loccyster]

@@TheSassi14, you're a bad person and you should feel bad. Snickers 4 lyf.

[@Mike_inspector]

Can these items be stacked

[@thelivingdrawing2262]

I like how The Onion had a more accurate portrayal of Autism than Music did.

[@AquaFan1998]

Exactly

[@ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb]

What's Music?

[@AquaFan1998]

@@ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb its a movie that portrayed the autistic character like she was brain damaged

[@EmilyKimMartin]

@@AquaFan1998 The movie's trash but tbh it's not like every autistic person is the same. The spectrum is pretty big and there's bound to be all kinds of behaviors.

[@AquaFan1998]

@@EmilyKimMartin i know im on the spectrum, but even then for the movie to not say theirs a spectrum and to portray her like that is like telling the audience that everyone on the spectrum is like that. Ngl a vast majority of people who hasnt got a autistic family member or who dont know much about autism think that its ether "unable to do anything" or "quirky super genius" (this is from personal experience) The movie didnt help to dispell or enlighten anyone that their are people who aint like ether of those

[@oloibonjnr]

"The train is fine" "Human debris" 😂😂

[@yeldarBkereD]

Human debris is one of the most wonderfully dark phrases I've ever heard

[@tfp3163]

The way he delivers “dented” after pausing is comedy gold.

[@funnygerp03]

"...a snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove." I love how he added "a man" like it was just another object.

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

He's right to be concerned about the train, it could have derailed running over that stuff.

[@Stillreal312]

All objects matter

[@FLS96]

It's even funnier considering how unvaluable those objects are.

[@_Pike]

It was

[@Mike_inspector]

@@SmallSpoonBrigade that could have dented the train

[@onkelpappkov2666]

It saddens me that there aren't more than a handful of videos featuring the autistic reporter Michael Falk. This is something I could binge-watch. I want to see him in all kinds of situations, correcting people and changing focus. This is luxuriously good comedy in my opinion.

[@mace8873]

Agreed, they should make a hell of a lot more of these videos, whoever portrays that Michael Falk dude, is doing an awesome job!

[@mrbisshie]

They got bought out.

[@Sahbab11]

Although I'm really happy this guy was featured in Broadway, is a playwrite, and a famous actor; I really just wish he made more Michael Falk content for us

[@TheSassi14]

@@Sahbab11 What's his name?

[@paloalto5965]

@@TheSassi14 John Cariani

[@nizhoni3339]

i kind of like the onion videos because they include little things from autism like immediate echolalia, special interests, and stimming. this is obviously done by someone who is autistic or knows a lot about us.

[@SightForMemories]

I think he knows alot about "it" not us.

[@marinewelsh9927]

@@SightForMemories the fuck are you implying by saying it

[@jjabbott7249]

@@marinewelsh9927 They mean to call autism an it, not autistic people.

[@melissacooper8724]

The actor who is playing the reporter with autism does he have it for real?

[@dewilew2137]

Yes. That was the entire point.

[@I1like1wood1ash]

I wish more stuff like this was made- comedy based on a condition without being degrading. it's not like Sheldon Cooper, it doesn't shy from the fact that the comedy stems from the effects autism, and the autistic guy in question isn't villanized. It's just a guy being extremely autistic in funny ways. He even did the "run away from the conversation" thing I do! Whoever wrote this is either autistic or has someone close to them who is autistic because it's got insider knowledge.

[@kookamunga2458]

Great guy . There is someone similar where I live . He's called Frankie the weather man and he has a popular podcast. Have you read any of Olliver Sack's books ?

[@MrLind87]

Sheldon wasn't autistic, they made him checked according to Leonard, also all that show was written by the same guy who wrote Two and a Half men, so you can imagine he's not the greatest authority to write "nerdy" characters, still if you put apart the obvious stereotypes is a fun enough show to turn off the brain for a while.

[@FireHam]

@@MrLind87 huh

[@elyssabarajas3554]

​@@MrLind87Sheldon was checked for crazy, not autism

[@lunatheluma3804]

@@MrLind87 despite what they try to say to cover their ass, the writers clearly intended for Sheldon to be at the least autism coded

[@artgremlin2847]

“Do you know anything about the man the train hit?” “He’s dead now Brooke.” His delivery is just golden. I love Michael :)

[@letsreadtextbook1687]

That had me too lol. I mean, he's perfectly correct.

[@Yggi11]

I am on the spectrum myself, and this is freaking funny.

[@wizardcat2232]

Its almost like the good doctor quality

[@fermentedspidereye5607]

Me 2 bub

[@TheSassi14]

Me too, but I only found out a few weeks ago and I am 25. So either the psychologist I went to last month misdiagnosed me or all the psychologists I went to as a child and teen were bad at recognising autism in girls. I heard it is more difficult to recognise in girls/women.

[@Rose_Butterfly98]

I'm on a different spectrum. But I'd also care more about the train. If I was a passenger I'd be annoyed that we have to stop.

[@StickgeneralArmy]

Same. It’s comedy written for autistic folks rather than the shitty stereotypes allistics usually have of us

[@realadrieno]

as an autistic person myself, this video absolutely had me in stitches Edit: 1K LIKES?? wowww

[@realadrieno]

what

[@charkobi8708]

@@CH-mv4mkare you slow?

[@lunantix]

​@@charkobi8708no he's autistic

[@Bluyiia0]

@@charkobi8708you

[@ME0WMERE]

haha same

[@R-R3DH34D-X_X]

As an autistic person, i am now thoroughly obsessed with the way he delivers information Edit: god damn what happened in the replies edit 2: my god im literally this close to deleting the comment

[@Dznts1234]

same

[@R-R3DH34D-X_X]

@@Dznts1234 👍

[@caden4858]

what's the flag in ur pfp? /genq

[@R-R3DH34D-X_X]

@@caden4858 oh, uh, made it myself. I should really change it though, don't like it anymore lol

[@caden4858]

@@R-R3DH34D-X_X but what is it? unless you don't wanna say? xD

[@Goinmach8]

He doesn’t keep the info vague he tells you every single detail about the train, and I can respect that

[@AlbanianThrash]

"that camera man told me to talk to the people who saw the train get hit" incredible

[@cattysplat]

Well, he's not wrong.

[@fluckter_600]

Nice detail is they said "train get hit", putting the emphasise on the train. Funny stuff

[@sneadh1]

Not realistic. The reporter would note that the engineer drives the train, not the conductor !

[@dirkgently120]

Autistic people tend not to be very good at understanding social structures, human roles, etc. It's PERFECTLY consistent that the AUTISTIC reporter would be interviewing the conductor and confusing him with the engineer.

[@autisticacceptance9700]

@@dirkgently120 , actually being autistic myself, I understand perfectly well that the engineer and not the conductor drives the train. What makes these videos hilarious is they are making fun of the stereotypical non-autistic view of autistic people. So the fact that you actually think autistic people would be confused about something like this is hilarious. To put it another way, you are taking an autistic person's struggle with social structures too literally. We wouldn't understand more nuanced roles like friendships vs. acquaintances. I thought autistic people were supposed to take things too literally, but there you are, off and running....

[@ryanstenberg8505]

Yo Snead wassup, its been a good 3 years amigo

[@Ryan-sw4xy]

I think conductors can also operate the train if needed.

[@MansonX]

Snead Hearn you got triggered, because your people aren’t represented properly?

[@vonkruel]

I was really into trains when I was a boy. Once I was riding the train with my family, and the train made an unexpected stop. My Mom told me that the train had run over a man, who had committed suicide. My immediate reaction was concern for the TRAIN. I was worried about whether it had been damaged, and whether they'd be able to properly clean it. Suffice to say I was more into trains than HUMAN LIFE !!! Anyway this is hilarious, but it also hit home for me :)

[@dirkgently120]

I was on a train a few years back. Late at night, outside of Jackson, Michigan.... sudden hard application of the brakes... sparks flying past the windows. Conductor comes through to inform us that we hit a car. Everyone is dreading the worst. Conductor announces that a tow-truck has arrived to pull the car out from under the front air of the air-shround and protruding parts of the chassis. Conductor comes through again. Announces that the tow-truck driver has identified the vehicle which was empty and sitting on the tracks motionless.... was his car. Must have impounded the wrong car.

[@dakat5131]

it would probably be a little more concerning if it was someone you knew. but if you didn't see it happen and didn't know the person, it's easier to focus on what you do know is there; imo.

[@dakat5131]

the car belonged to the conductor? that would be a crazy coincidence. "not to worry guys the car I ran over was my own. (...damn)"

[@Bri11bri]

Home isn’t the only thing it hit

[@sexysputnik]

So how was the train? Were they able to properly clean away the human debris?

[@woodychelton5590]

dude this guy perfectly mirrors how I think before I adjust whatever I immediately think to fit societal norms man that's crazy its like a more primal level of deduction

[@The1andonlyAbber]

He reminds me of a younger version of myself.

[@transmascmess.68]

yeah this video is basically how i want to communicate and how i would if i didn't have to heavily mask when at school and stuff

[@namenl2205]

@@The1andonlyAbberew

[@namenl2205]

@@The1andonlyAbbergross

[@bartek1887V]

@@namenl2205 wtf are you talking about

[@alarmlessRifleman]

When I was a kid, I used to watch a show about trains hosted by a clearly autistic man, who was *really" excited about trains, like heck, he always acted like a hyped up child when he talked about trains, when he walked around trains, when he was inside trains etc. I also used to have a childhood friend Daniel, who also is autistic and had had trains as his special interest for the most of his life. If there is a stereotype about autistic people that is actually true sometimes, it's their obsession with trains. As a neurodivergent man myself, I wish every neurodivergent person to find a job related to their special interest. It must feel like pure bliss, to dive into your most favorite subject on a day-to-day basis and be paid for it. Languages have been my hyperfixation for half of my life, and I wish I could study them for the rest of it.

[@abyssdrawssomestuff]

“Do you know anything about the man the train hit?” “Oh, he’s dead now Brooke.” Straight gold there.

[@richp3580]

By far, the funniest part of this to me was at the end: "It's now time for business news". Underrated line.

[@SightForMemories]

yes, reporters worldwide flicking in their beds, waiting to be resolved..

[@dewilew2137]

I don’t get it.

[@michaelmaier7262]

BUT ARE WE SURE THE TRAIN IS FINE? WHAT IF THERE IS MICRO-DAMAGE?

[@FASTERLANEDisBACK]

+Michael Maier Or maybe a microagression?

[@InsertName125]

After they hose off the blood and human debris, they can polish off the blood and human debris, and the train will be fine again.

[@professionalshitposter6897]

@@InsertName125 YES

[@cpu_1292]

There is a 3mm scratch on the windsheild

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

Imagine how good journalism would be if all reporters were Autistic. Just pure emotionless facts.

[@MrBernardthecow]

This is humour at its most darkest. A man has died and I'm laughing.

[@hanshintermann1551]

How about another onion video, Murray?

[@cumbershit9838]

Hmmm

[@mariahmayers8869]

Is the train okay though?

[@ZemplinTemplar]

You should console yourself with the fact that the man was only fictional. :-P

[@MrBernardthecow]

@@ZemplinTemplar Fictional people have feelings too! I read about them all the time!

[@sylvie39]

as an autistic i low-key love this. like same dude, i love unnecessarily infodumping and being uncomfortably curt.

[@wow1574]

I love how this guy put a whole human life on the same level as three pieces of gum, a snickers wrapper, and a glove. And on top of that, the person who died was put in the MIDDLE of his list of things the train ran over, which means if he put it in order by things he finds most important to least, the three trash bags snickers wrapper, and piece of gum hold more value than a persons life

[@myautobiographyafanfic1413]

Yeah, that's the joke. I heard him say that.

[@klondike3112]

The list of items was in chronological order.

[@michaelstewart7036]

He listed them in the order that they were hit because the exact way it happened was important to him

[@Shrani_Blind]

i’m friends with a lot of autistic kids and i can say they are the absolute best people you’ll ever meet, they have a variety of interests, know a lot about everything, very energetic, and funny as well! one of them is obsessed with trains and has a model track and the attention to detail is insane

[@killherqueen]

but the train is fine

[@jessetrueba9578]

“I like trains”

[@killherqueen]

@twixisgodandsoaremacerator9285 😯

[@lafonteynm]

@twixisgodandsoaremacerator9285he train is fine

[@Idiotic_B_Purcell]

​@@jessetrueba9578 *(is also run over)*

[@pocketsand76]

Honestly, If we had a Michael Falk on every news network the world would be a better, more harmonious place.

[@JJ-if6oe]

Literally

[@jermfanaccount]

as an autistic guy i would so do the news like this. if the story's got anything even slightly to do with my special interest, you bet your ass i'll hijack the entire report with extremely intricate details about the history of Garfield and it'll just turn into a history channel at that point

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

If you wanna infodump to anyone I’m always open to hearing about other people’s special interests! 😊

[@Silvia.Araujo]

Jetpack Joyride

[@FFL3001]

"...before the train came to a complete stop it ran over three trash bags, a piece of gum, a Snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove." lmao

[@maxim-mum-power4492]

I spat my coffee out at “this was a very lucky day for the train.”

[@notallthatbad]

"Thank you, Michael." "Yes."

[@DefextOfficial]

"It's, now, time for business news." That was the perfect ending.

[@SightForMemories]

Seeking knowledge from others is all an autist really craves, that they can decipher, because their souls are in such disarray. Nothing good can come from an autist, they are speakers of a dying world.

[@Sushi_bar]

YES

[@idlesquadron7283]

@@SightForMemoriesok

[@Abominable_Intelligences]

Gotta love him he's like living in 4 different spacial dimensions and possible futures at the same time

[@valx7586]

As an autistic person this is the best and my favourite depiction of autism

[@katrinna8426]

He’s the type of person that would make watching the news relaxing. No fear in his eyes. Only excitement for trains.

[@ShannonAhern]

From a family of Aspies, I can say this is hysterical! A sense of humour is crucial for being happy in a world of confusing neurotypicals!

[@SightForMemories]

yes, what is a candlestick but a luminescent wax stick. I am reminded of an old poem, Let me sit with you and listen, then when I've heard the truth, let me put it out to others, that this is it. Shall I devour the heart that it was made from, or put to gentle the skin I have? No, I shall make it my soul, that all living is dying within me.

[@BeeEatingOrchid]

A candlestick is not a candle. A candlestick is what a candle is placed on.

[@CandiceGoddard]

@@BeeEatingOrchid I think that most people tend to think of a candlestick as a candelabra possibly because the candles are stick like and thus it's difficult to comprehend that the word "stick" in this context means to remain embedded in, to stab into etc not stick as in a branch or similar object. People just use words, they don't care what they mean or even what their etymological origin is. It's the basis of talking shit IMHO.

[@bronkobjama3154]

This comment thread is full of aspies

[@MortusSweet]

Oh dear, a deficient bloodline.

[@odess4sd4d]

The Pulitzer Prize was established in 1917 in the will of Joseph Pulitzer. The Pulitzer Prize is normally awarded to 21 people per year. Michael Falk should receive the Pulitzer Prize. Joseph Pulitzer died aboard his yacht, the Liberty, in Charleston Harbor at 1:40 o'clock on the afternoon of October 29, 1911. The yacht was undamaged and was able to continue its voyage.

[@thequeertelope7941]

Thank you odess4sd4d

[@joeywaters5559]

AM or PM? Also, which time zone? Thank you.

[@SightForMemories]

@@joeywaters5559 That! is irrelevant. *Looks at train*

[@SightForMemories]

@@joeywaters5559 He already gave you the time in the afternoon, and the place where it happened, why do you ask stupid questions?

[@dielaughing73]

I guess he wasn't an excellent sailor

[@df_degenerated7001]

I love how he only feels empathy towards the train

[@taureon_]

the train is more valuable than the human

[@themanlyman91]

Who needs CNN when you have ONN

[@SightForMemories]

We've gone that far, from satire to actual news?

[@SightForMemories]

I guess when the news is more ridiculous than satire, we crossed the bridge, and burden everyone behind it..

[@geoandpenn]

I have aspbergers and I have 3 kids with autism this is hilarious love how it shows the child like honesty of what the reporter is saying . I take no offense to it after all the train is fine.

[@RXdash78]

+Lisa Franklin But what if it his something heavier? Like a truck full of people. That would take longer to clean.

[@RXdash78]

+Lisa Franklin But what if it his something heavier? Like a truck full of people. That would take longer to clean.

[@ratmach]

Thank you! That's what I've found too, with friends and relatives who have various conditions or disabilities. They're all fine with jokes and such, as long as it's done in a good-natured way.

[@GnosticAtheist]

I am worried. Maybe the conductor lied. Maybe its not ok.

[@dirkgently120]

@ RXdash78: Brooke: "That's a terrible accident, Micheal" Micheal Falk: "No, Brooke. Ths was a lucky day for the train. If it had been hit by a car or a boulder or a large animal, it could have been ... dented." PAY ATTENTION for crying out loud.

[@Siaiqpqkrjanxnc]

“ Are you angry cos ur train ride is over??”

[@gabingston3430]

"No, I didn't even get on the train."

[@stultusmcgee9099]

(On the Spectrum) This reminds me when I was like 8 or 9 where I had this weird phase where I hated Germans, not because of WW2, but because they used U-boat torpedoes to sink the ships Britannic and Lusitania. Not concerned for the people’s lives onboard of course, just the destruction of the two ships.

[@Thignot]

best representation we will ever have. nothing can top this

[@mnkeymasta]

"Oh Oh Oh - I talked to the conductor - " ......... lmao!

[@HanadiH]

00:02 He replicated the end of her sentence to make sure there was no disconnectedness in speech. This is so freaking genius 😂

[@canuck2444]

The obsession with trains is something I've seen first hand a few times in elementary school. So accurate!

[@Oh.its.multiple]

This precious human needs to be protected at all costs. Just facts, no feigned emotions and straight up telling how it is. I, as a fellow autistic being, absolutely LOVE him. 🤣💜

[@BertieW0oster]

As a (probably, but not formally diagnosed) autistic person who also, unironically, loves trains... I can confirm this is pretty accurate.

[@turbomonkey7]

I love how casually he puts the man between the snickers wrapper and the glove as though he’s literally no more important than them🤣

[@barbiehagen8838]

Yeah. The list did it for me too.

[@basicsimp1870]

As someone on the spectrum, of the spectrum, I approve this funny video

[@MissxLariz]

The visible spectrum

[@bloxstarluke]

Yeah bro, I don't know what you're saying honestly. I was diagnosed by professionals with level 1 autism at an early age (3 years old).

[@viktoriyat6131]

Bet part was the headline that said "Poll: 70% of the world not even trying anymore"

[@user-vp9lc9up6v]

F u c k

[@reillymercer5949]

I didn't even notice that, lol

[@juntingiee2602]

i mean it aint wrong

[@r.mcdonnell8614]

Supreme Court rules 8-1 that Scalia cannot bring a snake to work

[@aaroneckardt5514]

Best reporter ever. He should have his own show

[@mannibimmel09]

best reporter ever

[@TheGojira84]

That's the point. Its not really making fun of people with autism. Its making fun of how people perceive them.

[@of_the_Word]

Persons aperson no

[@lwh2113]

Yes

[@bsquared4604]

no, it's actually making fun of people with autism.

[@user-xu7rp3kw3z]

@@bsquared4604 But not in a disrespectful way. I have aspergers syndrome and especially when I was younger, I acted almost exactly like this. This is hilarious, and I've gained a lot of respect for the onion after watching this

[@SightForMemories]

I don't think its making fun of anyone, but the media.

[@julienewbry6553]

As someone with an autistic sister whom I love very much, this brings the biggest smile to my face!!

[@BinocularRivalry]

This actor never got enough credit. But these are immortal...

[@zhouwu]

Damn. His lack of concern for human life really hits home for me. I got really angry at my dad for not letting me get to the top of both of the twin towers, and only one of them. He just didn't get it. I got even more angry when the terrorists drove two planes into the twin towers 4 months later. My dad told me I could go back to Boston to go up the other twin tower in my own time when I'm older. Even though I know he thought he was right, I had a gut feeling we had to do it right there and then, or I'll never be able to do it again. I'm a bit older and a bit more mature now, and I feel a bit bad for the people who died in the building and jumped out of the window and for the people who died in the planes and for the terrorists who committed suicide because they thought they did the right thing or whatever they thought. I don't know, I don't believe what they believe, so I don't necessarily understand their thought processes. But I'm sure they thought they were doing the right thing, even if most people think they were murderers, or whatever. But I'm trying to feel more bad for the people who died and for the people who lost important relatives and friends in that incident than for my lost opportunity to brag about going up both towers of the twin towers. Now, all I can brag about is going up one of the towers of the twin towers 4 months before it came down. And so, I guess I kinda succeeded in being one of the last tourists to do that and still survive to tell the tale. And maybe the lost opportunity adds a bit of poignant tragedy to it. But mostly to me, because why should it bother anyone else I didn't succeed in getting up both towers, just so that I can get 💯% completion instead of a pathetic 50% completion? And dad wasn't happy about me thinking it was cool to see a burnt up car by the side of the road. I just thought it wasn't everyday I saw something like that. He was more worried about the driver. I just thought statistically, stuff like that would happen all the time, and the likelihood of me stumbling upon something like that was very rare. But he appreciates the life of the driver, even though he didn't even know the guy. I wish I was more like dad, caring so much about people I've never met. I'm kinda selfish, just wanting to brag about doing and seeing stuff nobody else has done or seen. But this video kinda reminds me that people don't really care about the stuff I care about and care about the people I don't necessarily care about, and, well, look, it takes a lot of work to put a train 🚆🚂 together, but it takes even more work to get a human being to become who they are, and neither should be taken for granted. But, I guess, on balance, a human life is worth more than the integrity of a train structure, because human beings can just make another train, but you can't use a train to bring a human being back to life. So the value of a human being is related to their sentience, which is something a train doesn't possess. And because a train doesn't possess sentience, unfortunately, it doesn't have a life, so it doesn't matter as much to other people as it does to me. Because a train can be repaired, but a human being can't just be repaired the way a train can be repaired. So we have to value human beings, because they are more vulnerable and fragile. And we have to protect the vulnerable and fragile from the invulnerable and strong? Sorry, I've lost it. What's the advantage of being strong or trying to be strong? To better protect others, maybe 🤔? Sorry, this philosophy isn't going to be watertight, so it's pretty hopeless.

[@Celatra]

Calm down this video is from the Onion

[@Impala101]

This is a joke video its not real

[@calvinjenkins6900]

Thank you for sharing that, really. I‘m autistic and rather low-empathy so I sympathize with child you being more upset about not being able to fulfill the planned objective (only being able to do 50% of a task is so frustrating, isn’t it?) instead of the loss of life.

[@Dobader]

As someone moderately autistic: this is the most autistic thing I have ever read in the best way. Thanks for having the courage to put your lack of empathy out there so maybe people can start to understand it. My brain works in a similar way, but I learned long ago that humans generally don’t react well to me truthfully saying that I don’t see much value in a human life. Humans die every day, and we’re all gonna die anyway, so why make a big deal of it? Of course, I also don’t give a fuck if I go to cool places or see cool things. I know they exist - there’s no need for me to personally witness a car wreck or the view from a tall building. Glad we differ in that way; seems like a lot of effort to want to do all that stuff. Anyway you have a good day homie. Keep on keepin on

[@MuzikBike]

The video may be a joke but this comment is not. I'm far too tired to process this right now, so I'm marking it for later rereading.

[@NotDuncan]

NO BROOKE! This was a very lucky day for the train

[@abdul-kabiralegbe5660]

That "oh oh oh, I talked to the conductor"! The accuracy with which he portrayed the zeal!😂😂

[@DarthDimmadome]

As someone who isn’t on the spectrum, I find this hilarious

[@moonshroom711]

As someone who also is not on the spectrum, I find this hilarious

[@hopeboyherewithyourmcdonal3634]

As someone who is on the spectrum, I love the fact that we have all collectively understood that this is hilarious

[@ChrisSuperDude]

As someone who is maybe on the spectrum I find this hilarious.

[@nullbeyondo]

As someone, this IS hilarious.

[@StarHeaven07]

He's such a a good and concise reporter. So happy it wasn't a boulder or a large animal.

[@Natedawg38]

I gotta admit that anchor lady is damn supportive

[@richp3580]

Might I add, of the Michael Falk videos I've seen, the acting here is the best. He exhibits many of the subtle microexpressions that I am not seeing to the same degree in his other reports. That must take a lot of work.

[@Psychedelic-City]

LMAO "he's dead now Brooke!" had me dyin😂

[@imjhope5190]

I have two autistic brothers and go to this place where they support Autism and this is the most accurate I have seen so far. It's amazing to me!

[@jena.alexia]

"He's dead now Brooke" 😂😂😂 I just loved the delivery of that line.

[@johannessmithenstein]

This is absolutely brilliant. The acting and production is just so nuanced and perfect. The way he says "three trash bags, a piece of gum, a snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove" is just the most hilarious thing I've ever heard from that point when it was first released 15 years ago until now. Timeless.

[@swiftsylveon4918]

I love trains so I'm glad the train is fine.

[@lizzyisgreat]

as a person with autism, a reminder that it’s a spectrum. not all autistic people are like this

[@lizzyisgreat]

@Soulless486 you can’t agree or disagree, it’s a scientifically proven fact

[@Lumiiify]

​@Soulless486well, you're clearly on the unfortunate side of the spectrum sadly

[@nekuromant]

@Soulless486 As someone wit autism, they are right everyone is different

[@fastbreak333]

I can totally relate to Michael.

[@dnm3732]

me too

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

Same

[@JackDD]

I'm glad they brought on someone knowledgeable on the subject. Incidents involving trains happen all the time.

[@limediamond4595]

He’s good at looking at the bright side of things, that’s a good quality

[@MzKegz]

Im embarrassed to say it took me a while to realize this is satire

[@phoenixocm]

it took me this comment

[@ReeseGilbert-sc8ei]

i love how he doesnt give a shit about the guy just the train

[@TheCoreyHodges]

“Ugh, just a terrible accident, Michael… …NOBROOKE.”

[@Syclone0044]

The most amazing part of this is how the comments are autistic people unanimously laughing at this and themselves and nobody is upset or offended! 👍🏼

[@craig1538]

I find it very moving that news corporations are now employing such wonderful people as Michael Falk. May he have a long and happy future in the media business.

[@oneofthe12sionmains70]

Nobody here's talking about the poor snickers wrapper that was probably shredded into a million pieces.

[@WereSpecialStudios]

I wish to extend this man a job offer, we need this man dominating the media

[@Yana-tf1he]

I AM A REPORTER! I AM A REPORTER

[@notfamedtvpersonalitydrphil]

As an autistic person this is hilariously accurate tbh

[@feraltaco4783]

I'm dying!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 He's right though, that train could have been dented. That would have been terrible!

[@SoggyDoritosmemes]

“ I am a reporter! Dr. Connor”

[@pikpik42]

"Thank you Michael." "Yes." ❤

[@orangeedo]

This is so well done. The way news has become deliberately emotional, this is unironically needed

[@Whammytap]

As a person with a love of trains and a dim view of humanity, I'm favorably impressed by this guy's knowledge.

[@autumnanim]

I am a reporter! I am a reporter.

[@Supuhstar]

I'm autistic and I love this so much 😹 Watching this like, removed my filters and masks for a few minutes ❤‍🔥

[@LuckSpinner]

Thank you, KZbin, for suggesting this video to me. I thoroughly enjoyed it, keep em coming. I, too, want to drive the train. 🤣

[@luvlivygaming5780]

This reminds me a lot of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory who was also obsessed with trains, and had the exact personality. I loved Sheldon and this man is great 💗