Outofshapeworthlessloser: A Book By Gracie Gold (TSL Visionaries)

Last month, we started TSL Visionaries - an online book club about people who have changed their art form. We thought it was only fitting to discuss Gracie Gold's new memoir and show everyone a sampling of this project.
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TSL Visionaries Book Club Picks:
Alone: The Triumph and Tragedy of John Curry amzn.to/48StZkR
Nureyev by Julie Kavanagh amzn.to/3Onj1LM
Outofshapeworthlessloser: A Memoir of Figure Skating, F*cking Up, and Figuring It Out - Gracie Gold:
amzn.to/3vXxKH2
The Rodchenkov Affair: How I Brought Down Russia's Secret Doping Empire - Dr. Grigory Rodchenkov
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The Russian Affair: The True Story of the Couple Who Uncovered the Greatest Sporting Scandal - David Walsh amzn.to/3UDGnRx
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Dave's Recommended Reading List
Christine Brennan 'Inside Edge' amzn.to/37YV1cN​
Christine Brennan 'Edge of Glory' amzn.to/302NsNL​
Toller Cranston 'When Hell Freezes Over, Should I Bring My Skates: amzn.to/3bX9FCG​
Toller Cranston 'Zero Tollerance' amzn.to/303xrY8​
Dick Button 'Push Dick's Button' amzn.to/3rLS2MD
Joy Goodwin 'The Second Mark' amzn.to/3rbrbsY​
Ekaterina Gordeeva 'My Sergei' amzn.to/3uJ6DKx​
Scott Hamilton 'Landing It: My Life On and Off The Ice' amzn.to/38y9GvV
Gary Mack 'Mind Gym: An Athlete's Inner Guide to Excellence' amzn.to/2NJBhmJ​
Adam Rippon 'Beautiful on the Outside' amzn.to/3bX9abM​
Grigory Rodchenkov 'The Rodchenkov Affair: How I Brought Down Russia's Secret Doping Empire' amzn.to/3uFdqVT​
Joan Ryan 'Little Girls in Pretty Boxes' amzn.to/2NJBhmJ​
Johnny Weir 'Welcome to My World' amzn.to/2Poqv5I​
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The goal of The Skating Lesson (TSL) is to share our passion and knowledge of the sport with all of you. Whether you call it figure skating, ice skating, Eiskunstlauf, фигурное катание, 피겨 스케이팅, フィギュアスケート, 花样滑冰, 花樣滑冰, patinage artistique, pattinaggio artistico or patinaje artístico, we hope you'll share your passion with us

[@JackAShepherd]

The memoir is truly fantastic. I had assumed it'd be very self-deprecating, like she is in interviews, but it's not... It's not self-pitying at all -- it's just excellent, insightful, beautifully written and narrated. Contrary to what was said/thought at the start of her comeback, her capacity to bounce back after being truly *embarrassed*, to have morphed herself into this dynamic person whose story has meant to much to the sport (and to anyone, really), is, in fact, BRAVE

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Well said!

[@JackAShepherd]

Random little sad-funny tidbit: I Googled (not for the first time) Carl Gold to see if anything was new with his license, and I listened to the beginning of a 2021 podcast he was interviewed for (re: transitioning to a nonclinical career), and he said he had been clean for 30 years, no mention of the 2018 urine saga, saying that a colleague had it out for him and made the whole thing up 😑

[@TheAnnmjensen]

“The” Ann Jensen here - I was so emotionally drained by this. Having her perspective on all the things I saw and heard about during this time. I listened to the Audio book all in one day - still running it over in my head - still examining all of it. So much trauma in the world - and so much amplification of it happened to her. For years I have felt that supporting skating in all the ways I volunteer makes me an accessory to so many things I don’t support. May all the skaters succeed in life after ice.

[@MaryWehmeier]

❤

[@Patsanford220]

Your second to last sentence 😢 oh how I relate! And the skaters around me were all aware of the toxic stuff happening under the surface, and we all felt uncomfortable every time a teammate was “done dirty” by the coaches. But at the same time we rationalized it to ourselves by thinking oh they must have a good reason, they’d never do that to me. Until they do and you realize you were paying $500 a month to be emotionally abused 😢

[@SecondPlaceYuya]

I’m a librarian, I read a lot. This book both gutted me and inspired me like no other book in years. Gracie persevered through so much and could have a successful in so many other ways, but chose her passion even though it was the most difficult path. I hope she gets everything she wants in life, she has already paid for it.

[@topicdel]

Thanks TSL for covering this important book! We need more people like Gracie in the sport.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

[@MaryBP-n8s]

Heehee, i’d love to be a fly in the wall at Tara and Johnny’s house As they read Gracie‘s remarks about them in her new book

[@TheAnnmjensen]

My loudest laugh was at “The Devil’s Lettuce” but that is more because I can absolutely hear Frank’s voice saying that.

[@Patsanford220]

That part is still with me too! Like he got all his references from 1950s society “she looks like Grace Kelly,” “the devils lettuce” was straight out of prohibition era reefer madness propaganda lol Meanwhile it’s legal in half the country and most states have medical programs these days 😂

[@erin6621]

I believe the 4CC example was when Gracie talks about how figure skating after parties can get wild and one country’s skaters destroyed a whole floor of the hotel after one 4CC (my impression was that the party where the SA happened was in the US/perhaps Chicago).

[@ddjr6673]

Thank you Dave and Jonathan. Just started listening to the audio book here in the UK. Very eloquent - very powerful - and agree - hearing her read it herself is very moving. Back in the day the commentators all remarked on the weight of female figure skaters (only the female ones!). I am not going to single anyone skater or commentator out but even at the time I felt it was egregious. Gracie is incredibly brave to confront all this head on. So much respect for her.

[@erinm8067]

I finished Gracie’s book in 2 days. It made me cry, laugh and left me inspired. I am really impressed by how her writing roped me in and I normally don’t like autobiographies.

[@kerryperryman3025]

I am a forever Gracie fan. Her personality and experiences seems perfect to be a coach.

[@sarahb77756]

I think we are very unlikely to see a discussion about this book between Ashley and Gracie - not because they didn’t care for each other - but because I’m sure Chapter 17 adds so many difficult complexities to the mix.

[@KingJasonSlots]

I really enjoyed this discussion! I finally finished Gracie’s book this past weekend and I couldn’t agree more with both of your takes. That book and journey not only shook me but blew me away!

[@julienixon2686]

I read the book in one day. Still processing. Thanks so much for covering this.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Glad it was helpful!

[@julienixon2686]

@@TheSkatingLesson I appreciate the time and effort you both put into TSL. The content has been particularly excellent recently. Thank you.

[@kasiakrasucka]

Lots to process. I just went on KZbin to listen to Tara and Johnny’s commentary Gracie has called out. Truly appalling 😮

[@QQ-wl6yt]

Which event or program is this reference from?

[@kasiakrasucka]

@@QQ-wl6yt Skate America 2016 FP

[@JackAShepherd]

Skate America 2016 -- i.e., not long after 2016 Worlds

[@joanfoley6148]

Just downloaded the book to my Kindle & looking forward to reading it this weekend.

[@kelly9876]

She rightly called out Tara for acting like she had firsthand experience on things that never applied to her due to her age and very short career.

[@JoshuaFazeli]

Who doesn’t want to be Nicole Bobek???? She’s an amazing human being. Girl, get in line. ❤

[@JackAShepherd]

I am not sure Nicole Bobek would be at the top of my list of people I envy...

[@jessford84]

The part about Vincent disappearing was wild. And no one has heard from him since? Curious if she meant no one in the skating world or in general no one has heard from him?

[@krobill2]

I also wondered the same. I love how Gracie was like, “this is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever experienced, and dear reader, if you’ve gotten this far in the book, you know that’s saying a lot.” I laughed so hard.

[@koknesis5226]

He is caoching in France now

[@TheAnnmjensen]

Absolutely agree that agencies/agents need to update their idea of how to market skaters. And the ISU and the National federations. And. Everyone.

[@krobill2]

This book was even better than I expected it to be. So many excellent insights from Gracie on such complex and tough topics. I thought Chapter 17 (regarding her friendship with John) was so well-written and made so many important points. I also liked the chapter about Alex O. because of the nuanced discussion of the situation and, like Chapter 17, pointing out how two seemingly inconsistent truths can exist at the same time: that Alex made her the Olympian she became, but that she also couldn’t have made it to the Olympics with him still as her coach.

[@strawberrylime33]

I had the hardest time finding Gracie's book at Barnes and Noble today. Unfortunately, I don't think it's being "pushed" to an audience outside of skating. Has anyone else had trouble finding her book?

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Audible gives you an immediate download. There is also Kindle via Amazon

[@AuroraR]

Audible is doing 3 month free trial. You get one book credit free a month. I downloaded the app and used my free credit to buy Gracie’s book.

[@wallysvideos]

It's on Spotify Premium as well 💗

[@joanfoley6148]

No pre-ordered it on Amazon for my Kindle and got it day it was released.

[@skatefan9495]

Amazon delivered in one day.

[@lisa-lisa-lisa]

im the one that joined twitter to read her tweets when she was behind me in San Jose. I hope Jeffrey is doing well.

[@saramisthal6658]

Thank you both for this. You both were so honest and open and I hope you are doing some self care.

[@andreagoldstein4070]

I am only a few chapters in, but absolutely love hearing the story read by Gracie herself on Audible. Same with Adam Rippon's book. You really feel like they are talking to you and it's a different experience. Adam's was more humorous than Gracie though.

[@TheAnnmjensen]

OMG. The “beat around the Bush”. Dying. Can you imagine any former ice princess even admitting she understands that pun?????

[@JoshuaFazeli]

I still remember when CBS showed the room Michelle was in when she won silver in Nagano. I felt so sad for Michelle. Then it happened again on NBC in SLC. To be a fly on those walls.

[@ArohaStill]

It was invasive indeed but at the same time, it was still telling you who the star was, regardless of who was wearing the gold medal around their neck both nights.

[@IauraJ]

Excited to read the memoir, and that more of these sides of skating are being brought to light. Love Gracie!!

[@jennybibler9206]

I LOVE anytime you two reference Frank Carroll! It always puts a smile on my face. Thanks for reviewing Gracie's book for us. Can't wait to read it.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

❤️❤️

[@eljj7968]

Thanks for posting this, I think this was my favourite TSL episode in a long time! Seemed a lot more chill and on topic and less focussed on drama somehow. I'm definitely keen to track down Gracie's book - would usually buy on kindle but I feel like this is one that other people I know would also want to read, so hopefully I can find a hard copy. I did a camp and some lessons with her a couple of years back and she was great, super open and candid even then about her struggles.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Thank you for the backhanded compliment.

[@eljj7968]

@@TheSkatingLesson Was genuinely not meant to be - I love your show. I just prefer this more chill format.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Glad you enjoy it and hope you join TSL Visionaries if you enjoy the format.@@eljj7968

[@joanfoley6148]

Plan on reading it this weekend on my Kindle. Having heard bits & pieces about it I'm am intrigued especially after reading the books written by Denise Bielman - I think the edition is only available now in German - and Kirii Korpi's where they talk about eating disorders & parental control.

[@KL-pv7cl]

Thanks to Dave and Jonathan! Loved it!

[@TheSkatingLesson]

❤️❤️

[@krux3759]

I'm so triggered by it as well, I need to read it very slowly. its so incredible and I'm so happy for Gracie for being able to tell her story

[@marycoyne1889]

Thank you for this conversation. I bought the audio book after listening to this. Beautiful done and (I know this is over-used) but brave. Brought up a lot for me as well.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Glad it was helpful!

[@primalcritters]

❤❤❤ figure skating is a brutal sport and eating disorders start young among females. My friend confirmed all this and more in addition to being a afraid of coaches. One coach turned out to be addicted to meth and was particularly brutal with her skaters.

[@verycooltricks8176]

I wonder if it is possible not to have disordered eating in FS. Mental strength and training is important but it’s at the end of the day, a body weight ratio sport. You cannot do certain elements if you are not within that body weight ratio no matter what your body type without either serious injuries or you just can’t… I would love to see a return of “figure” skating but it’s impossible to do todays elements without maintaining a body weight ratio which is unattainable for most and unsustainable long term.

[@Patricia599]

@@verycooltricks8176 perhaps the Russian method of examining body type and directing children into sports their bodies are more suited to might be something to consider. Are eating disorders prevalent in gymnastics? The body type of women in that sport has changed considerably over the last 30 years with the young women being more muscular and being able to compete into their 30's and 40s!

[@skatefan9495]

@@verycooltricks8176 I still wonder if that is true about needing to be a certain body weight. Without mentioning anyone in particular, there are and have been skaters that do not fit the tiny, stick-figure stereotype who have been quite successful. I think there is pressure to look a certain way more than than there is achieve optimal performance. After all, skaters at the top level appear before live audiences and on TV wearing skimpy or tight outfits. They are subject to fans saying they are fat or look like cows or all other sorts of body-shaming. Social media has only made it worse.

[@primalcritters]

​@@Patricia599that is a very astute insight. I know with Russian ballet which obviously heavily influences their figure skating culture, they pay careful attention to the young bodies of potential ballerinas. They even go so far as to look at their genetics and their parents. This is especially helpful in the vaganova method to ensure that girls that are not naturally plump shall we say are not encouraged to pursue the top tiers in ballet because they will inevitably fail. For one, they will try to starve themselves to sustain a thin body type, and secondly, Body Lines are extremely important in ballet as well as figure skating, and a thin body type is much more adept at having gorgeous body lines of course when coupled with technique and artistry. It's just the truth. Even with models, they specifically choose thin models because the clothes look more beautiful on them.

[@ArohaStill]

suicidal ideation is when you think about suicide but have no action plan.

[@val55476]

Just got my copy today! Had to order from the US after not seeing it in the shops and has only just arrived in the UK... looking forward to watching this after I finish. Thanks for all the coverage lately on skating news love hearing your opinions and the guests opinions

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Hope you enjoy it!

[@jackiethompson8384]

Jonathan at 39:52 me too. I had a therapy appointment the day after i finished the book and we discussed a bullying episode I had internalized for 40 plus years

[@mr.balloffur]

Binge reading this weekend 😄

[@elainetyger]

I'm picking up my copy of the book today at Little city books in Hoboken

[@TheSkatingLesson]

I love that book store.

[@JackAShepherd]

Was happy to see that Dave was wrong about Vincent Restencourt pushing her to do Rostelecom

[@TheSkatingLesson]

He definitely did not come off well, but yes.

[@TheAnnmjensen]

The John Coughlin Chapter (17). Was a very tough read. I was shocked by the rape. And horrified, but not surprised but the various agencies letting it fall to the “bottom of the pile”.

[@kristinstrickland1038]

Was it John Coughlin? Why doesn't she say his name? Whoever it is, why can't she say his name? She said "5 years later he is still competing." So it can't be him.

[@kimberlyarlene4094]

It was someone else. She was John's friend and didn't witness his dark side personally

[@kristinstrickland1038]

@@kimberlyarlene4094 Thank you!

[@ariannepine3157]

Hi, Dave, is there going to be a video about the arbitral award on Valieva? I'm going through it with a pen and a highlighter 😁

[@SecondPlaceYuya]

Rusty Cath interviewed Gracie at nationals and she seemed ready to eat him alive. He was not prepared for the interview and she was having NONE of his fakeness.

[@etherealtb6021]

Thanks for covering this! A bit short of cash this month, so will have to wait a bit to read this myself! 🤷‍♀️

[@erikaburns9821]

I found the ebook through my library-maybe you can request an ebook or physical copy for your local library?

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Hope you enjoy it!

[@etherealtb6021]

@@erikaburns9821 Oh, they do ebooks now? Thanks for the tip!

[@corgeousgeorge]

2018 Cup of Russia was terrifying. Does she discuss that event? What it was like to have all those ED children around her from Eteri's camp while she was struggling?

[@EughhBrothereughh]

I think her SA was scarier than that don't be a clown

[@corgeousgeorge]

@sty731 that happened at cup of Russia? I had no idea. How awful.

[@BillyWhaler]

One part of the book that seemed unfair were the “read between the lines” jabs at Med. is there more backstory between the two?

[@MarshaNovak]

Johnathan - yay for doing Feldenkrais- that is my work 😊 - seriously great episode - listening and just starting part 4

[@JohnnyOpera1]

It changed my life!

[@MarshaNovak]

@@JohnnyOpera1 excellent - do you do only group classes or privates? Honestly keep thinking Dave's skating could benefit and there is a good senior practitioner I believe in Montclair, NJ - Karen Donelson.

[@corgeousgeorge]

Who is the Russian champion they're talking about who talked about Gracie's body?

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Maybe she didn’t name him for a reason. It only takes two seconds of critical thinking to figure it out.

[@corgeousgeorge]

@TheSkatingLesson oh my bad, wasn't asking you directly, i inderstand why u and Gracie cant say it but commenters on here from the knowlegable tsl community can without any worry so id just imagine youd have the critical thinking skills and common sense to know i wasnt asking you directly. Apologies for any confusion, but as there are so many problematic Russian gold medalists. I don't know who was working out of Los Angeles at that time.

[@alisonguild5778]

I was assuming Yagudin or Plushenko but also was not sure which one. I do not have critical thinking skills either to know which one was in LA at that time.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

Neither one of them is the skater being referenced.@@alisonguild5778

[@corgeousgeorge]

@alisonguild5778 just the two of us non critical thinkers just shambling our way through life, I guess 😆

[@TooOldForThis]

I dont understand the beat around the bush pun! Someone please explain

[@elizabethm08]

Jonathan, I love junior bakeoff! 😊

[@anusharasalingam7712]

I love Brian Moylan. His Jersey Shore recaps are legendary.

[@TheSkatingLesson]

💯❤️

[@TheAnnmjensen]

I cant even watch any Today show segment - those people are so completely false. I can’t imagine have to talk to them like they are human.

[@Zebbiejw]

Thank you as always TSL ❤ I always appreciate your refreshing approach to delivering skating news. I am stunned and so very amused by the Reddit post reaction. Screw that. Some of us very much appreciate your satire 😂

[@TheSkatingLesson]

It’s supposed to be for a select group and was deliberately cropped. Also, the disclaimer is one of the best parts.

[@Zebbiejw]

​@@TheSkatingLessonI would never have thought in a million years that you would even need to explain this to people. I'm honestly stunned by how badly and wrongly people took it and by how toxic their reaction is in calling TSL out! You just have to laugh at the selective outrage of the Reddit community. 😂

[@ginamontgomery484]

I really love you guys. I appreciate your courage and candor. In this segment however I find you Dave a bit pulled back from your emotions about the book. Almost as if you were strategically trying to bring it back to too much gossip. Jonathan felt very honest with his experience what the book brought up in him. Nevertheless I thank you for what you are giving.

[@mastermargarita3926]

Is Evgenia Medvedeva’s autobiography out yet or is it still in the works?

[@wallysvideos]

That will be a lot. Zhenya sure can spin a tale.

[@etherealtb6021]

​@@wallysvideosI doubt she would or can be as honest as Gracie!

[@wallysvideos]

@@etherealtb6021 of course not, unless she plans on going into exile upon publication 😂

[@EughhBrothereughh]

I doubt it. She has a strong will if she wants to open the Pandora box she will ​@@etherealtb6021

[@skaterboy-cz9wj]

I am sorry I know you love Polina but she doesn't sparkle as a skater or personality to me. Maybe she doesn't have enough cachet. I think we would like to see Nicole Bobek, Tonya Harding, Gracie Gold and sasha cohen in some kind of reality type show.I would have liked to hear Gracie and her apparent preoccupation with being in the lime light, when to say goodbye, Also we need to remember her skating early on until like 2016 or so was paid for by her dad. Look at what happened after she tried to come back and her dresses were cheap. The way you talk it sounds like it is game over for Gracie Gold.

[@yosily]

GRACIE AND JASON BROWN should compete together as pairs skaters

[@lanerobson5530]

Do we think Isabelle isa Gracie 2.0 ? Or on the way to being one.

[@wallysvideos]

Who knows. But honestly, Isabeau's LP from Nationals was one of the most harrowing skates I've witnessed. They definitely both get nervous, but Gracie had better technique. I kind of miss an Ashley or a Polina. There's a certain kind of delusional self-confidence you need to have to keep the meltdowns at bay.

[@specialj67]

⁠@@wallysvideosthe older I get, the more I appreciate that kind of competitor!

[@PhilAlumb]

Gracie Gold is truly a talented skater But I often feel like her persona is..victim. I appreciate her honesty to discuss her most personal struggles, yet I feel like these issues can possibly overshadow her success in the sport.

[@JackAShepherd]

Have you read the memoir? A victim persona does not come through at allllll

[@hdhdhhehe6709]

You don’t seem all that bright

[@PhilAlumb]

​@@JackAShepherd...I haven't read the book, But the Title is in keeping with the Victim mentality she's been known for over the years as her career didn't reach the heights she wanted. Woe is me!

[@JackAShepherd]

@@PhilAlumb Nope, you've got it entirely and 100% wrong. What's that saying... Don't judge a book by its cover 🤔

[@laurelgardner14]

@user-kf8wb2cq4f I think you should read it. You seem to be buying into the narrative that was written about her at her worst. The title is the name of her inner demon. She’s honest about the people who failed her, but writes most of them with a lot of grace. She’s also honest about how she failed herself. It’s a pretty insightful book written from someone who takes accountability for her mistakes but wants to make the sport accountable for its mistakes too.

[@EllenSkeels]

Whinner

[@Ricanuppy21]

1:26:23 “Were on” brooo I’m at work and almost fell off my chair at that delivery 🫨