Overcoming Addictions | Iman Cave with Sh. Abdullah Oduro

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Yaqeen Institute

Yaqeen Institute

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@yaqeeninstituteofficial
@yaqeeninstituteofficial 8 ай бұрын
For more resources on how to overcome addiction, please check out our paper on the subject. Link in the description of this video!
@neymarzam9297
@neymarzam9297 8 ай бұрын
This show is not just for men..I personally enjoy it Alhamdulilah 😊 it's general knowledge for all .thank you team yaqeen❤
@Nadia-wo2sx
@Nadia-wo2sx 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for speaking on this. I am unmarried F28 and I am finding it difficult finding a spouse while navigating asking about this. I am very fearful of marrying a man with this issue around my age, because it will ruin the halal intimacy I deserve and saved myself for. I pray Allah gives me someone who guards his chastity through all channels (eyes, mouth, and physical)
@genericman4078
@genericman4078 2 ай бұрын
Sister in Islam Nadia, I make du'a that Subhanahu wa ta'ala give you a righteous pure spouse and gives you both endless barakah for guarding your chastity. Ameen ya Raab. I am a 34 year old unmarried man and I ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala to give me a wife who has also guarded her chastity, as I have mine. Ameen ya Raab. One way to ask about it might be to speak about yourself and that you expect the same from your prospective match and hold him accountable if he lies. This gives a brother oppurtunity to back out without "confessing" his sins to you. This is my plan when I get to speak with potential matches, in sha Allah. May Allah help us. Ameen. Some folks advise about not inquiring about people's past. However, I do personally feel that "inexperienced" folks deserve each other, if that thstvis what they desire. Allahu 'Alam. I would be remiss if I did not take this oppurtunity to inquire if you might be interested in a respectful exchange of information between us, if you are still looking. I do apologize for any indignation. If you've found someone, I congratulate you both. I look forward to hearing from you. 34M, Never married, USA
@ameira2903
@ameira2903 8 ай бұрын
As a mom of a boy, this show is a blessing. Alhamdulillah 🤲🏻 May Allah reward you my brothers in Islam.
@sufianhaq
@sufianhaq 8 ай бұрын
Great advice... One thing I would add is to learn about your triggers for any kind of addiction and try to eliminate them. For a lot of young people being bored is perhaps the biggest trigger so just try and engage yourself in other stuff and in sha Allah you will get out of it.
@adam9841
@adam9841 4 ай бұрын
Don't stop this series!
@Disaster3nby
@Disaster3nby 5 ай бұрын
Not a man, but even this video has helped give me so much insight. It’s not lacking haya to talk about these things and it’s very much needed. So thank you for opening up the discussion because people can’t seek help if they’re only faced with shame by their community over and over instead of support.
@christinathreatt749
@christinathreatt749 6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for having these discussions. I really appreciated the response that as parents we may go over board. My 2 oldest sons when they were 21 they both started drinking and with the first one I was hard as a stone. Don’t come home if you have been drinking ext… he went into the army and had a very hard time with alcoholism but when the second son started drinking it was Allah put me in a bubble and said” stop.. you have given it me so be quiet. If you say anything he will be fighting you and will not hear me” so as hard as it was I stayed silent through crazy calls in the middle of night when had been drinking… it lasted for 3 mths and o e day he came to me and said” I am not going to drink anymore… did you know iot does not make since… I spend all my money, endanger myself, am sick and don’t remember anything.” I had to nearly bite my tongue hue but I didn’t say anything just hugged him. To this day he does not drink!!! Alhumdulilah, Sapanallah!! Thank you for shedding light on what men need to do be good men and what women can see they should be looking for to have a good man. It’s all so last in our society today. May Allah Bless you and the words you are saying and bring a bountiful harvest back to our Umma🤗🙏
@RedinRose11
@RedinRose11 8 ай бұрын
Great discussion. A lot of these addictions also come from unhealed trauma or abuse. Promiscuity is often a cause of some traumatic experience. Hopefully, with these conversions, it will open doors for proper healing for all issues.
@Disaster3nby
@Disaster3nby 8 ай бұрын
So true. I’m recovering my addiction to pr0n too and it’s very difficult. Like any addiction, if something lewd accidentally comes up on my fyp for even a second, I feel like I’m spiralling. I feel incredibly guilty after. I’m trying my hardest like all my other brothers and sisters who are struggling with this. Allah is most Merciful.
@RedinRose11
@RedinRose11 8 ай бұрын
@Disaster3nby may Allah make it easy. It takes small, firm steps. Self battle . Yes, you will go three steps ahead and four back sometimes, but you don't realize how much you're progressing by trying. Make the intention that you want to do it to please Allah and trust the process. When you're doing and trying for the sake of Allah and fighting yourself one day, it comes like a switch. And you realize you're better. The healing from traumas comes with it, too. It takes releasing, facing, and lots of courage. But most importantly, you strive to want better because you know that you deserve better. Good people trying to get rid of bad habits :)
@fishbarbeque8540
@fishbarbeque8540 2 ай бұрын
SubhanAllah, Im 17 and this video hit it ON THE HEAD.
@Jonida1
@Jonida1 8 ай бұрын
Thank you to everyone! With this discussion we reinforce more that we are not out of this world, where drugs are legal and common things but it is the opposite. Very helpful for our kids.
@Alex27784
@Alex27784 7 ай бұрын
May Allah reward you guys. I reverted to Islam last year and as a 23 year old in this world everything you touched on is things I been struggling with since I became Muslim. Maybe you guys on the next podcast can speak on someone new to Islam who is still struggling with sin and for example I try to pray my 5 prayers but some days if I smoke weed I feel almost embarrassed to pray I know our prayers are not valid for 40 days after consuming Intoxicants but my lord is the most compassionate and most merciful as he reminds us often so soon inshallah I completely stop smoking but if I do smoke should I still pray that same day. And before I reverted I was in haram relationship but now I want to make it halal and I’m just not financially ready to be able to marry and take care of a family now what’s some advice you can give a young person who wants to get married but not financially ready. May Allah protect and reward you guys.
@ayrat_davlet
@ayrat_davlet 7 ай бұрын
Whatever sin you do, still pray! Thoughts about not being worthy of praying are from devil. Some of scholars said that it is like as if to say, i will not take a shower, because i am too dirty. This is exactly opposite, just keep praying with as much humility as you can, even if you sin the same say of even hour, and eventually God will pull you out from sins completely! I am also yet only on the way to become pure eventually and completely, by His permission, only the prayer will give the strength. After that, fasting also the amazing tool
@mohamedumar8110
@mohamedumar8110 7 ай бұрын
I think it was the best advice that i got was, Whatever you are doing, just keep praying, on the days you slip up keep praying. Quitting an addiction is a process that takes time, don’t quit on quitting. You will have ups and downs, but the general trajectory will be positive. Allah rewards those who struggle in their path for goodness may allah reward you abundantly for your efforts. Ameen.
@Alex27784
@Alex27784 7 ай бұрын
@@mohamedumar8110 Very nice of you to respond and give sincere advice this is what drew me to the religion such a way of life and true and sincere people Alhamdulillah . Thank you may Allah protect and reward you ameen
@Alex27784
@Alex27784 7 ай бұрын
@@ayrat_davlet Very nice of you to respond and give sincere advice this is what drew me to the religion such a way of life and true and sincere people Alhamdulillah . Thank you may Allah protect and reward you ameen
@hassaankhan24
@hassaankhan24 8 ай бұрын
Exposure to pornography starts from cartoons/shows/billboards with just a little bit of skin of women here and there. Sleeveless dresses advertisement. This gets effected in a child's brain. And he starts wanting more and more and more. There is practically no guidance in this regards from parents (speaking from Pakistani perspective) We never just go full in porn, it always starts with some seemingly innocent things on television. I write this as someone who has struggled with this addiction. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, by the grace of Allah SubhanWaTalla, I have been distant from that disgut for some time now, and these observations that quoted are from my experience. The level and subtly of faheesha that exits. Aadhubillah. May Allah save us. Save you kids from this. Be wary of the advertisement. Be wary of television.
@YUSSUFXVI
@YUSSUFXVI 4 ай бұрын
I have to disagree about the “my mom wants me to be here” there’s not much we can do; I was taken to a sheikhs congregation by my mother a few years ago with a hardened heart and a stubborn head, and the story of the prophets hijrah(pbuh) was exactly what I needed to hear without knowing, and helped me opened my heart to the truth again.
@MuslimLifeHackers
@MuslimLifeHackers 8 ай бұрын
Jazakallahu Khairan for this important discussion! May Allah guide us to healthy habits
@semiraali7870
@semiraali7870 7 ай бұрын
addiction to screen itself is impacted maney young and adult to mental health issue .finding councilors who has the same value is very hard. Make duaa for the kids who is going through tough situations.
@kekkeigenkai8701
@kekkeigenkai8701 7 ай бұрын
Beautiful conversation between brothers, learned a lot.
@asrbekmirsoatov7664
@asrbekmirsoatov7664 5 ай бұрын
Thanks you! This discussion was very useful
@EquinoXReZ
@EquinoXReZ 7 ай бұрын
Please help us and take this seriously, this is the worst issue affecting us
@jodierizky-
@jodierizky- 8 ай бұрын
Jazakallah for the beneficial knowledge
@Demistification
@Demistification 8 ай бұрын
Great discussion
@YellowDragonFruit2.0
@YellowDragonFruit2.0 4 ай бұрын
P*** ruined my marriage! I used to feel extremely hurt by my ex-husbands behavior around this! But after knowing more about how P*** and M******** addiction hijacks someone's brain, I feel sad for him now because I loved him and he refused therapy since he believed he is beyond recovery after 16 years of addiction! I wanted to believe otherwise! I know there was nothing else left to do from my end and his behavior made me question my own beauty and self worth which took a toll on my mental and emotional health! I wish and pray that Allah help him recover from this and have a better life forward! I pray that everyone who has this addiction can get out of this and have a healthy married life and be able to enjoy what's halal and please Allah! May Allah protect us all. Please don't get into marriage before fixing this issue. No one deserves to be devastated like I was.
@HafsaAlvi
@HafsaAlvi 3 ай бұрын
May Allah heal you
@YellowDragonFruit2.0
@YellowDragonFruit2.0 3 ай бұрын
@HafsaAlvi Thank you dear. Ameen! Allah has healed me Alhamdulillah.
@speakjustly
@speakjustly 8 ай бұрын
Allah bless you
@perpetuallymoon
@perpetuallymoon 7 ай бұрын
Need a social media detox and that’s why I am watching this. Although I have never personally watched pornography ever in my life
@kausamsalam8543
@kausamsalam8543 8 ай бұрын
Excellent and open discussion on a topic few discuss in a religious forum. May Allah bless the good Muslims on this forum. Ameen. (From observations on some people’s lifestyles and family life: Men who indulge in such things will never have a happy marriage or relationship with their Partner or even with the God they say they believe in. Women who subject themselves to cheap lifestyles, allowing themselves to be objects of pornography will never have self-compassion or self-respect due to their lowered standards. Teens who engage in these addictions will never fully mature nor will they have a happy future or respect for women--unless Allah guides these people towards good manners and love for Allah before anything else. (Many nihilistic misogynists who later do mass shootings have had such addictions). A fragmented home life is no excuse to become a violent or misogynistic or abusive personality. After the age of 18, people of civility can transform themselves, or blame their fragmented childhoods. Islam teaches no intoxicants or magic or witchcraft or gambling or alcohol for multiple wise reasons. Allah knows what is good snd what is shameful for the human soul, (unless the violent one is meant to be beast-like by destiny as an example for what not to be like). The California misogynist who stalked women and hated himself is an example of what not to be. Understatement, but it is a common phenomenon). To the still-good youth: Be strict on yourself before you are swept away by poor, evil and addiction-infested lost souls. Islamic prayers are definitely a life-saver. 🌴
@MariamTalks
@MariamTalks 8 ай бұрын
ALLAH BLESS YALL JIDAN JIDAN JIDAN
@RahmaARahma
@RahmaARahma 8 ай бұрын
Allahu Akber.
@ibrahimhamman3391
@ibrahimhamman3391 7 ай бұрын
Alhamdulillah
@fawziabheekhun2214
@fawziabheekhun2214 8 ай бұрын
I would like to say thank you all. This is sensitive subject matter. However the impact of psychological, emotional distress on the brothers who engage in porn- enactment in their relationship which has an impact on their wife, girlfriends. This also creates a behaviour of secrets , lies and this also can cause confusing of the brothers sexual identity. There is a psychological distress on the body and this also triggers to have unhealth sexual acts that are unclean. One suggestion is to maybe be a little more implicit of the impact porn on the whole existence of a man life, this also triggers power and control in their relationship. There is also the cases where brothers have this mindset ' oh this is not a big deal'. The beauty and humbleness of pure intimacy and understand the sacredness of intimacy and the blessing that blossoms when it is halal. Secondly, having the detachment from the illusion of the purpose of our this life and detachment to be in a the peaceful of salah, deep reflective process of daily observation of your thoughts behaviours and ego and really being honest of the external power of validation by another. The brother that was speaking to provide a safe space for brother to come and express their attachment of porn, I remember once saying to a group activity if all these thing is good why is their the shame to be able to speak about the challenges that we all may face in our life, we are human and fallible. As a sister I listen to Imam Cave, I am inspired to the openness and knowledge of each brother that flow through the dialogue to respect and integrity, To give yourself the space to seek the support and you're not alone. The psychological trauma of addiction of porn is real in society. Thank you so much, this much appreciative.
@thestraightpath2909
@thestraightpath2909 7 ай бұрын
اللهم صل وسلم على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين وسلم تسليما كثيرا إلى يوم الدين
@HafidHussein-hz1kh
@HafidHussein-hz1kh 8 ай бұрын
ALLAH Akbar ❤❤
@MamaKT245
@MamaKT245 8 ай бұрын
Disagree with the therapist brother’s opinion on video games. Muslims have a higher calling.
@AB-ql1vu
@AB-ql1vu 7 ай бұрын
Maa shaa Allah tabarakallah Allah humma barik. An eye opener. Subhanallah. Great topics. I think it's also important to understand, sometimes children who suffer sexual abuse may go on to watch pornography or develop haram relations. So there should be somewhere where they are able to reach out and seek therapy. In shaa Allah. Jazak Allah khair
@husainmohd6377
@husainmohd6377 8 ай бұрын
Marriage, if not fasting but not work for long term. Able to subdue at day but at night need some urgent bed.
@Hacker-fh1ft
@Hacker-fh1ft 8 ай бұрын
ALLAH IS ONLY WAY TO SAVES US IN WORLD OF MADNESS THE TRUTH COMES FROM ALLAH ONLY ALLAH KNOWS BEST FOR US 🙏☪️☪️☪️ ALLAH MASHALLAH SUBNANALLAH ALLAHU AKBAR ALLAH
@ispartali3210
@ispartali3210 8 ай бұрын
@Pms398
@Pms398 8 ай бұрын
Im addicted to porn for a long time IDK how to stop it and where do I find a support group
@Jaiho-cl1jr
@Jaiho-cl1jr 8 ай бұрын
how old are you?
@Pms398
@Pms398 8 ай бұрын
25
@Jaiho-cl1jr
@Jaiho-cl1jr 8 ай бұрын
@@Pms398 okay this is the solution, read quran more, if you love reading quran (the holiest thing u can see or watch) you will feel disgusted watching porn (the most disgusting thing u can see) its A VS B
@hudaabdelklalik9701
@hudaabdelklalik9701 7 ай бұрын
My Tazzkiya
@Khwaab
@Khwaab 4 ай бұрын
Have you considered this strategy? Every time you fall into sin, pay charity after. And pay an amount that "bothers" your stingy side! Punish yourself financially. ALSO, pray two rakahs of tawba/repentance. CRY to Allah and ask Him to give you strength to stop this weakness. Insh´Allah, you will get tired of losing money AND degrading yourself through this sin. Listen...BE NON-COMPROMISING in this strategy: You sin, you pray 2 rakahs and pay! 😤 Also, when you do feel the urge to watch it, know that angels and others may be watching you and that you are not only disappointing Allah swt, but also yourself (and you´re opening yourself to spiritual attacks!). Honour Allah, and honour yourself. You were meant to be so much more than a slave to lower desires...we all were. P0&n was designed to STEAL our noor, our highest ability, our peace and our DIGNITY. Do not sell your dignity...think of yourself lying in the grave, regretting it bitterly and begging Allah to send you back so you could show that you´re much stronger than the devil´s traps. Listen to Islamic lectures, look into the effects of dhikr and once again..honour yourself.
@seamus4055
@seamus4055 7 ай бұрын
Danger of unrestricted access
@teddycabana
@teddycabana 8 ай бұрын
الليلة سترفع الأعمال لا تتعجل واقرأ *٤٥ إستغفارات جميله جدا* *تعال استغفر معي ..* *استغفر الله العظيم* من كل ذنب أذنبتـــــه *استغفر الله العظيم* من كل فرض تركتـــه *استغفر الله العظيم* من كل إنسان ظلمتــه *استغفر الله العظيم* من كل صالح جفوتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ظالم صاحبتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل بر أجلتـــــــــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ناصح أهنتـــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل محمود سئمتـــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل زور نطقـت بـه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل حق اضعتــــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل باطل إتبعتـــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل وقت أهدرتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ضمير قتلتـــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل سر أفشيتــــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل أمين خدعتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل وعد أخلفتـــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل عهد خنتـــــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل امرئ خذلتـه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل صواب كتمتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل خطأ تفوهـت بـه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل عرض هتكتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ستر فضحتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل لغو سمعتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل حرام نظرت إليـه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل كلام لهوت بــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل إثـم فعلتـــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل نصح خالفتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل علم نسيتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل شك أطعتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ظن لازمتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ضلال عرفتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل دين أهملتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل معصية عصيت بها ربي *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ما وعدتك به ثم عدت فيه من نفسي ولم أوف به *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل عمل أردت به وجهك فخالطني به غيرك *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل نعمة أنعمت علي بها فاستعنت بها على معصيتك *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل ذنب أذنبته في ضياء النهار أو سواد الليل في ملأ أو خلا أو سر أو علانية *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل مال إكتسبته بغير الحق *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل علم سئلت عنه فكتمته *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل قول صالح لم أعمل به وخالفتــه *أستغفر الله العظيم* من كل فرض خالفته ومن كل بدعة إتبعتهــا *أستغفر الله الذي لا إله إلا هو الحي القيوم وأتوب إليه* *استغفرك ربي لتقصيريّ وقلة صبري* *استغفرك ربي حتى تغفر ليّ وترحم ضعفيّ* *استغفرك ربي حتى ترضى عني وتدخلني جنتك إنك أنت التوّاب الغفور* *ملاحظة :* *إذا استغفرت الله الآن باذن الله يكون لك أجر.. وإذا أرسلتها من الممكن ان يكون أكثر من ألف واحد يستغفرون الله بسببك فيكون لك مثل أجورهم دون أن ينقص من أُجورهم شيء.* *رجاءً إرسالها و لا تجعلها تقف عندك.* *بل اجعلها صدقة جارية لك ولوالديك و لمن أحببت و لمن أحبّك، ولجميع من أخلص لله في الوحدانية، .* *فذكر فان الذكرى تنفع المؤمنين* 💗
@malikaeastonAllahfirstanfamily
@malikaeastonAllahfirstanfamily 8 ай бұрын
Allah Akbar
@Hacker-fh1ft
@Hacker-fh1ft 8 ай бұрын
ALLAH IS LORD 🙏☪️☪️☪️ ALLAH MASHALLAH SUBNANALLAH ALLAHU AKBAR ALLAH
@johntravis7304
@johntravis7304 8 ай бұрын
@12:00 I could have used one of those back in 2010>2020 era @49:10 This is a central curse, porn will destroy the natural desire you have for your life. PS: replace weed with fast food, and you have the modern dark triad. Porn. Gaming. Fast food. Why would you bother with anything else? Replacements I found: A) FFood > working out/lifting, cooking my own healthy food. Body builder level. B) Gaming > programming/writing/career 'side projects.' C) Porn > Won't be fixed until I get married I know. I just try to: 1. Get tired. 2. Think of my deceased mother. 3. Stay in public spaces. 4. Hard cut off speaking to women, including online. 5. Hard cut off content with skimpy females.
@nasimbilal6703
@nasimbilal6703 7 ай бұрын
Great advice and I agree with almost all of your points and advice brother, But contrary to belief porn addiction wont be fixed with marriage, in fact many people find it destroys marriage & is one of the biggest reasons for divorce; because people have conditioned their mind to become aroused by the things they have consumed throughout the years so much so they dont have the same attraction to their wives and rely upon extreme dopamine hits from porn their wives cant compete with. Dealing with the underlying causes of addiction which can typically be: stress, depression, unfilfillment, lack of self confidence/self worth, anxiety, boredom, lack of ambiton etc, and becoming more disciplined, having a routine, fasting , praying etc and everything you are currently doing Is the better way, build yourself up to the man you are supposed to be so that when you meet the right woman you are the best version of yourself. All the best! May allah make it easy on us all Ameen
@catladyAR
@catladyAR 4 ай бұрын
​@nasimbilal6703 Agree with you 100%. It is the reality of today's society. Porn and Masterbation habbits/addiction will not be fixed with marriage. Rather, it will cause a devastating marriage ending in divorce. Facts! Fixing the issues before marriage is a must!
@johntravis7304
@johntravis7304 4 ай бұрын
@@catladyAR I keep hearing this everywhere I go so I will pay heed to it inshallah. This really makes me think though. What is "normal" sexual activity between couples? Going from astagfirullah daily masturbation habits to complete abstinence for a year or two before marriage sounds like what you guys are advising? But then after marriage what is the frequency of intimacy? Once a week? Twice a month? What is normal? what is not? Like you marry someone who has never indulged in anything and has zero libido, and you yourself have curbed a crazy addiction...you meet them in the middle frequency path but what IS THAT PATH? Exhausting questions subhannallah.
@catladyAR
@catladyAR 4 ай бұрын
@@johntravis7304 The biggest question is, what's your end goal? Isn't it to make Allah happy? Marriage is just one part of life. First and foremost we should stay away from anything sinful/harmful for the sole purpose of not earning the displeasure of Allah. Secondly, when we marry someone with an existing issue, that can hurt/destroy someone else. Speaking from personal experience. About the issue of sexual compatibility/frequency, You would be surprised both genders suffers from mismatched libido with their partners, regardless of their previous experience! But Alhamdulillah there are help/resources out there. Premarital counseling can help you answere these difficult questions and help you find out if you have compatibility. Then again, if Allah has tests written for someone, it cannot be avoided. We have completely submit to his will because this world is temporary. Keep asking Allah and do the right thing. Don't worry too much. Everything will fall into it's place insha-Allah. Have Tawakkul. Strive for his cause, he will reward for sure.
Masculinity Through Allah’s Names | Iman Cave with Sh Abdullah Oduro
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