Overcoming Judgment | How to Handle when Someone Judges You

[@mmommo10]

"if someone uses your vulnerabilities against you, they gotta go." loved that.

[@jean-lucc9591]

yeah, but what if the person who is judging you experienced that and that experience is causing them to be guarded? How are you supposed to get passed the guarding?

[@mileenasgift8970]

Sometimes people judge you just to make themselves feel better about but at the same time they have no idea the stuff in life that you've been going through

[@miamanning7871]

Derrick Greene most of the time they are unhappy

[@TheMeghajoshi]

Thtsy it is said when u judge it is not about them it's about you

[@niahwilliams7227]

Thats deep ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@i..am..]

I needed to hear this, thank you... My friend judged me when I needed her help too. My romantic relationship was on the rocks, I was needing a friend my friend decided I'm manipulative and controlling and toxic from a few text messages. I never even gave her the whole story of my relationship and she's acting like I'm toxic. She destroyed 4 friendships over those text messages. It's sad they both act like how I felt was so significant it's worth trashing two supposedly meaningful friendships. I feel sorry for her because she's very delusional to believe her actions make sense. All I did was confide, she had her husband try to break us up over what I said. Her souls become rotten from alcohol, I'm sad for her kids and her future life. I know it's hard in my life, but at least I'm open to growing from what she did and my relationship issues. I've become a stronger person from that at least...

[@paulagonzalez1721]

When someone judges me, I see it as a blessing in disguise. It's the perfect opportunity to look into the relationship and see if this is a relationship worth having. To me, it's the first sign that maybe this person isnt someone that can understand my essence as a human being.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Beautifully said!

[@TonyaA7]

Good point.. thanks for sharing that.

[@LittleBird888]

Truth!

[@Golden-Eagle781]

Thank you. That is very true.

[@kathymaslowskibrightflower9638]

I love that, yes our essence. xx

[@unleashingpotential-psycho9433]

We must understand that people’s judgments of us does not determine who we are.

[@miamanning7871]

Very true

[@Lpetq]

Yes. It's TRUE. Though people don't know how to remove those comments from sticking.

[@terefloresca8909]

Sometimes u need to fight and stand up for urself Not just accepting

[@terefloresca8909]

Especially when its too much

[@sophiadavenport3959]

For so many years of my life I was terrified of sharing my experience with depression and overcoming it because I always believed that people would harsly judge me the same way my mother has. I understand a person's behavior and action is an inward perception of how they see themselves and the world, I no longer feel ashamed to tell people I struggled with depression for six years after losing my father . Sharing my experience has helped me gain a strong sense of pride/strength within myself.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

And that’s what makes you a strong self-loving woman 💗

[@mayraorozco9974]

So many friends I have lost because of this. Now it's hard for me to open up and make friends. This video helped a lot. ❤️

[@LittleBird888]

Same here in my forties I lost tons of friends even had to get rid of a bunch of people from highschool due to their negative and untruthful judgments of me. It hurt me deeply at the time but it also releases me from a lot of abusive people. I’m also healing from abuse so I don’t let anyone mistreat me or make me feel bad about myself or my life. Life is too short to allow others to hurt you over and over again.

[@lauragadille3384]

I've learned the hard way, never ever share anything at work. They can use that against you and fire you. Always trust a very close friend and that's it.

[@freshclean7036]

Be careful with the very few. Anyone can turn on you. If need be talk to someone who job is to keep your information private. Listen to your body warning signs before taking action.

[@saschaspring2198]

Agreed. And if your field is ministry, trust even fewer with your vulnerabilities.

[@jean-lucc9591]

Care to share what happened?

[@lauragadille3384]

@@jean-lucc9591 no

[@bobhunley8794]

Awesome! When one judges. They don't define the person being judged. The one judging is defining themselves as ones who need to judge.

[@PeterKaitlyn]

I had someone who mentored me, though I never met him in real life. It was the Sci Fi writer Robert Heinlein. In one of his books he had a notebook of things he'd learned. A kind of rule-book. It's called the Notebook of Lazarus Long... One of the things I learned from his was what you are saying in this video. So, basically I trust until someone gives me a reason not to. Once someone abuses my trust I stop trusting them. They can gain it back, but that takes time in is conditional. The whole reason I mention this is that the basis of this rule is to be open to other people. By giving them the benefit of trusting them first, you can get to know them and then they will either be someone that honors your relationship or not. But knowing that is only possible if you interact with them to begin with.

[@LittleBird888]

Thank you. I needed this. As an outcast whose been covered in bad lies from some evil hurtful people because so many people judge me for being an artist, being able to come up with unique ideas, having high intelligence, being under 5ft, being petite, been shafted for my real name being Karen, being pretty, having triple curves Scoliosis having unique life experiences, my mental health history and being misdiagnosed and mistreated and being an abuse survivor. Even in my family. But I’ve learned through being outcasted and bullied so much and attacked with other people’s jealousy to love myself and embrace my unique life. Rejection is Gods protection.

[@livinggood6876]

Some of my extended family are judgey toward me bc I had the courage to divorce an alcoholic narcissist. I avoid them completely.

[@jillygaysuasin7968]

Sometimes true friends will tell you the truth... Even if it hurts a lot!

[@jamieb7989]

This was so helpful. You’re brilliant in your simplicity.

[@traceychapman4825]

This is great. I had the opposite problem where I would trust too easily and same issue- it can lead to vulnerability and judgment. I recently ended a long term friendship because my friend would judge me and call me things like damaged.

[@isabelmota4546]

Yeah. I've had the same experience. Because i trust and open and expose my emotions and wounds i get people judging me as week or traumatized when actually it takes a lot of courage and awareness to do so. Or maybe there is still some naivity in me for i always though mankind to be essencially good. I am 35 now and i'm changing my mind about this, i think mankind is mainly bad now. But this is not out of evilness (tho its a sort of evil) or bad intent, i find it is mostly because the majority of people are extremelly unaware of themselves and not very good at not having a maniqueist view of other people

[@jean-lucc9591]

Doesn't that just add to the problem? @@isabelmota4546

[@isar.1322]

Well said!! There is nothing to fear because the right people will respect you. You’ll get to KNOW who has the best intentions for you. Thank you Steph. 💛

[@ankushdhawale4628]

you are the most comprehensible and sensible person to have given such an advice that have completely removed all doubts and what if , questions plus a lovely person too.

[@rsaug]

What a blessed soul you are Steph! You are a life savior to many silent spectators like me 🤗 Have wasted half my life just getting carried away with other's judgments, overthinking, re-rewinding the past over & over, and getting anxious again & again due to those experiences. My asian family, friends, myself included occasionally are so judgmental.

[@orlandocabrera6269]

Sad part is that a lot people think we are judging them. How about when we are just telling them the truth . Telling it them how it is. I always appreciated when someone is HONEST with me. I might not like what I hear but I want a friend who tells me the truth and not let me live in lalaland . Is not judging. Is a wake up call. Be responsible for your actions. I don't gain anything from telling you the truth. As a friend I care about someone. I rather tell it how it is because is breaks my heart seeing them hurt or upset because the decisions they keep making. I want you to quit making dumb choices so you can be at peace. A true friend will tell you how things are. Is not always "judging "

[@fatmabahri1315]

6:55 got me into tears. That's exactly what happened. I am on my journey of healing now thanks to you, Stephanie

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Ohh.. let the tears flow! Someone once told me “nothing can grow without water.” 💗

[@fatmabahri1315]

This is so true ! 🌸🌸❤️❤️

[@hienienguyen6766]

Yeah that is so true. you will be okay, for sure. ppl are always freaking out when someone leaves you behind. i am fine without abusive ppl

[@aarenlynn7939]

Thanks so much for this. Something I really struggle with is accepting that I can’t deeply connect with everyone and “categorizing” my relationships. I’ve gotten much better as I’ve gotten older and learned more about myself. It’s hard when you are an empath type person to accept this! Lol

[@StarLightPlanets]

Sometimes the people that you thought know you the most , can be quick to judge you, the truth is we can't really rely on no one fully emotional or other .

[@SF-pm1ov]

I chose this particular video because of a ‘jokey’ comment someone who’s otherwise nice and helpful made to me today... I felt vulnerable and somewhat small because of the type of help I needed from the person and the comment they made triggered feelings of shame in me... I felt ‘judged’... however in the end this video turned out to be beneficial in a huge way for another situation I’m currently going through, where I’m trying to make sense of something that happened to me as a teenager and what that meant and what it means now and what it means about the other involved party... the insights and wisdom you share from 7:05 hit me so hard and filled me with such a sense of relief about my ability to process this and heal from it. Thank you.

[@uce_bagoose9094]

True coaching at its best. Thank you Stephanie

[@صبراجميل-ض3ص]

They didn’t live in my body! They didn’t experience the situation I have lived through WITH all the assets I have in hand, with my set mind, wih the same way of thunking and previous experiences I had! So I dont give them right to judge me ever!

[@rishitagupta1397]

Can you please make a video on how to deal with hypocrite people and those who snatch our freedom but maintains their own ,always makes us feel unheard!

[@Toyz3578]

Sipping my coffee in the AM and listening to this makes me feel soooo much better ☕️❤

[@beckybrown6880]

I've been hurt so many times till I am having a hard time trusting. My own family has turned on me. I'm really thinking about just moving away from all of them and never looking back.

[@Marella2024]

I have a friend who judges everyone that she meets. Every single coworker, friend, etc. Like, she really sits, examines, and remembers every move that her coworkers make and waits for them to make mistakes so she can feel superior. Even comparing the skills to their LinkedIn profile to the skills that they exhibit in real life. To me, that is extreme. Her life isn't that great but she acts like she is perfect and can do no wrong. That's one hell of a mental prison to force yourself to live in.

[@AkatsukiClash]

THANK YOU! OH MY GOD I JUST WENT THROUGH THIS TODAY! ❤

[@veritasliberabitvos454]

Great points. Been finding out just how good it can be to have those deep connections. Were past experiences can be talked about, current relationships, etc. Was a long time without due to a toxic relationship.

[@butterflyqueen9260]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾facts!

[@striker2298]

You are amazing and everything you said really struck me down like Darth Vader strikes down old Ben... You made me more powerful than you can ever imagine.... Lol.... But for real, you just gave me back my power and my self control from the constantly being judged by my cover, from people who are so lazy it's just easier for them to cast you off as a bad person way before they took the time to really know just the bare basic things about me... It's horrible because most other people also listen into this judgement and they too become a chain reaction of everyone I ever helped crumbled to dust... All the good things I ever did were instantly forgotten because of a very small single thing they didn't like...

[@kmajor7474]

Thank you for explaining this lesson. Social Skill knowledge is Power. It is going to take practice to grow and be able to heal. There is hope. ☺ Grateful for Self Parenting skills. I'm a late bloomer at loving myself. ❤

[@grannyp5723]

Awesome video, the information you shared about judgment could benefit so many teenagers as well as us adults. I truly wish there were classes at school covering this material. It could change lives for many struggling students dealing with these internal struggles. Your delivery is perfect and you are inspiring to all of us.

[@sele8235]

Great video!

[@mindayabusiness3383]

I'm dealing with a group of people. This small town is something else.. I knew my driver was acting weird. Asking me so many questions. Some many people are in my business! It's all rumors.. All I know is God is with me

[@Jody-vu4go]

I don’t have any safe person to share what I’m going through w/my mental heath.

[@kimieshadyer6006]

For a empath this is hard even though you know all of this

[@personhere9810]

your channel is one of the best things i have ever found

[@LiLi_healing22]

Nobody has power over me, I control me! Only me but 100%

[@kathymaslowskibrightflower9638]

This was so well put, needed to hear this, I want deep connections & am open about myself yet my friend of 8 mths judged me last night which really hurts especially when he says he loves me, yet i realise that what he thinks iv portrayed is just his perception but I know I can't change what he thinks I can only change how I feel about it. So sick of peoples attitudes & judgements. xx

[@justjess4602]

Have you noticed though in today`s world everybody is like this when you try and open up and talk to them? You can be like me and find you go 45 years having to treat others the way you want to be treated but for you , you may never receive that!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Are you saying you feel like you never get what you give? If that is the case two thoughts.. do you feel perhaps you give too much to others and why do you “over give?” Secondly are you excepting to get from someone what you should be giving yourself?

[@yarazard]

Yes, I've noticed that as well. People trust in me so much, and I end up doing the same, only to have them abuse or ghost me. Feels like I'm constantly dealing with betrayal and/or rejection. In response, I've definitely built some walls. Can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results...

[@freshclean7036]

For the most part when a person wants one to trust someone they are saying you need to allow yourself to be controlled, used and/or abusived. Yes, there is a possibly the person may not be abusive in some way. If they are, one will not put themself in such a situation again. Then one is told that was them and this is me doesn't cut it. If a person does not trust, they have their reasons. Accept and support their reasons. One will know if someone's dersive their trust and will be willing to take that chance. No, no one has not hurt me, I will go with my feelings and if I feel anything in your behavior or your actions, one will not get the opportunity. I will not dismiss my feelings(warning signs).

[@maratillett2752]

Hey Stephanie! It is misleading when this friend who judges you severely, has called you crying; in a raw moment of theirs. This just happened to me. I mistakenly thought my friend and I had that kind of trust, of connection.

[@nishaniruwanthika5033]

I want do what I wanted. But when it comes to society, all of them were staring at me like I'm a ghost. Sometimes it scared me that something happened to my clothes or not. Some of stares are disgusting. But now I'm learning to take turns. And I decided to fight for myself.

[@amandalang6926]

It would help to have more context of this judgement. I hope my friends feel comfortable with pointing out when there is opportunity for growth. If her life situation she was sharing was caused by herself and she just didn't see it, a real friend would want to help.

[@user-kw1ej7jb2n]

This is why i just wanna be cold hearted

[@go-goakins1489]

Thank you Stephanie ! 👍your videos are great and enlightening 👏💐

[@jcat7553]

Sometimes you need a pointer to set your compass. Thank you

[@kavishinde2970]

I loved this topic for me!! Especially when I am in my narrow minded relatives!!

[@vladimirkolovrat2846]

Nice. Wise woman.

[@israeliamidnight]

This brought me peace, your amazing thank you 💜

[@sachadeciderius2569]

Well, I dont like when people tries to judge me, because I feel like they want to control me - so my defense/coping mechanism is to be quiet or doorslam

[@javierjaime9386]

People are always afraid of me until they talk to me and find out im actually a nice person.People are so judgemental it really reveals who they are and you probably dont want to talk to them to begin with

[@Doodlefisher]

There’s a team of highly sophisticated saboteurs waiting to destroy any progress you make and you being a self saboteur makes it all too difficult especially if you were raised to self sabotage! Judging others is assuming they are judging you and gives them that are power! Do good to your self and be vulnerable!

[@gilbrook]

Always sensible advice here...

[@kinglui3981]

Learned a lot. 💎 thank you!

[@TrippiePineapplz]

Its not that I dont want ANY deep relationships, its that I have not found those I WANT to have deeper connections with.

[@georgexarchakos685]

Thank you, every video is made with passion and love:)!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Thank you so much!

[@susanwarner6994]

Thank you for this!

[@dogansahutoglu2073]

Thanks a lot good points

[@legzfalloffgirl5148]

I quote Sarah from the Labyrinth... YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!!!!😊

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

🙌

[@go-goakins1489]

Jennifer Connolly!👍😎

[@annelim1784]

Thank you! This helped me alot! ☺️😇🥰

[@mendingmandy869]

I think this is probably good advice for people without childhood trauma. With trauma I think it's a little different.

[@lovelyheart4883]

Thanks! That helped me a lot!

[@dorothysnyder7014]

Love your video. Thanks for making it.

[@bobhunley8794]

You are all wonderful. Bob

[@icequeen5551]

7:50 very inspiring and powerful🌹

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you, it has helped me.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Don’t cast your pearls before swine

[@ceciliaguevarra7761]

Let them be We cannot define their own feelings or my husband’s feelings that’s their attitude shows itself , he is in-charged of his emotions...

[@rik-keymusic160]

The more i know about the human psyche, the more i want to be on my own… I just have difficulty to trust others completely so i act kinda distant towards them and i guess they can notice and feel that from me.

[@MISSPHOTOGENICBABY]

Is telling your friend the truth because you honestly love/care about them; judgment? If so, I'm guilty.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Who’s truth.. yours or hers?

[@kkbb19]

People fat shame me 😢 And it hurt🤕

[@ceciliaguevarra7761]

We cannot please everybody that’s what they think lot’s of drama, I don’t engaged in drama and I’m Not a people pleaser...

[@andrewmass1414]

so cute. great info. Thank you.

[@TonyaA7]

Can you make a video on how yo deal with a sister who twists your words and then manipulates to make you feel like you are wrong and she flips your words then makes you look like the bad one while she plays victim and acts innocent. She even brings drama and is super negative and because you dont want to be mean you deal with it and dont say much. Yet I'm to the point of had enough.. help please . How do I deal with this .. Then After she does her dirt and make me look bad I try to defend myself against it ..

[@munequa81]

look up videos on narcissm and gas lighting.

[@cianajames55]

How to do that in the moment especially when it happens in the work place?

[@richmon_channel]

How did you deal with the situation where you were discriminated and judged without basis by other people

[@HangryKitchen]

I find your videos very interesting, new sub :) bench watching all your videos now lol

[@farhad6100]

you are true angel

[@latrecelockett4930]

If it triggers you that’s what needs to be healed

[@confettybetty]

Thank you.

[@btrixlestrange]

My co worker is super judgemental. I'm not sharing anything anymore.

[@tanyakashyap6944]

Dangerous 2 judge yourself.. stop 💔

[@Archieventures]

What if own mom has judged all my life until 22 years 😢 pathetic feeling .. I can’t Express my feelings to anyone cos if that😢

[@d2svpcfp]

Sometimes our most valuable friends/relationships hand it to us real…and we may not like the “judgement”…, but it’s integral to our growth. Sure, cut them out because they’re “abusive”…and risk never learning or taking ownership of our experiences. To many are quick to “judge” the messenger…instead of having the strength to look inward on ourselves. Only God can judge, but we all have the right to discern. Learn, grow, and your perspective may change. Peace.

[@sachadeciderius2569]

Maybe you can’t gros if its negative judment and constructive critism

[@namifernandez]

I watch this after i judged 5mins ago Hahaha lol i wanna cry

[@atikshakandel9929]

People have alot to say about the lives they never.

[@gwenoickle3584]

This!

[@2lbsTrigrPull]

Sie haben da was am Hals.

[@bobhunley8794]

Emotional Sobriety.

[@pedromartins3783]

BUT, if it is your mother...?!??

[@jazzyjennshighway]

That’s exactly what’s going on with me

[@mariamistretta3860]

People say that there shouldn't be no need to be accepted by others that you should only accept yourself that stupid and there so wrong, because its so true that there should accepting by others how do you think people make friends or meet people it not self accepting yourself only by letting people in your dam life. deep connections bounding with the right positive people either if friends or relationship or family memembers even a fanship. Be youself doesnt make any sense Create yourself be what you should be not how others say you should be. Who give a dam what other people think or say. They have issues they need to solve stop taking out on me. Good example mj and eliziabite Taylor they had to accept each other before they became good friends right. It didn't matter to him what he black and his friend was white. They love each other like family. Mrs. Taylor was like a second mom to mj. I don't get is why is so strange for other people if I makes friends or date anyone. It should be my choice who I let in my life without being presured for it either. Love is stronger. Why is strange if I should ever fall In love? I deserve to be loved and hopefully find love respect as well. Follow my goals and dreams even if it take time. Rushing don't solve anything it just messes things up.

[@CherryBerryFashion]

0:42

[@antihackergrlnow]

Sometimes I feel people judging me, I feel people talking about how stupid and slow I'am and to be honest it really hurts my feelings, I don't even know how to address anything, or deal with any of my anger or sadness, I fight to shut it out. But I think what gets to me the most is when people can tell I'm upset at work or at home, and it's like they just don't care, there in their own little worlds, sometimes I jump to conclusions about people, but I feel overwhelmed, I don't want to tell my boss that I have ptsd because they will use it as an excuse to push me on anti-depressants that I can't have, I'm allergic, my jaw locks up every time I take that crap and I'm just sick of it, people pushing pills on me to solve my misery, but honestly I just don't know anymore I can be really happy, and with it one day, and really miserable the next, the sad fact is I almost passed away last year, I lost my baby, and it shattered me, I wanted it to be me that passed away, I wanted the baby to carry on, but they couldn't save him/her because it got trapped in the wrong spot. I just haven't been the same sense and there's just no amount of therapy in the world that can erase the lonlieness that I've had to go through and it's hard to move on from stuff, I don't even know why I'm on this planet at times.

[@1jw298]

antihackergrl 31now32 God made you the way that you are for a purpose , keep your eyes on Christ and his light will shine from you. Your outlook on life will change dramatically.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

A few things I would like to offer to you… You said you feel that people judge you… Is that really the case? Or are you judging yourself and are projecting that judgment onto other people thinking that they’re judging you when in actuality they’re not. Something that I’ve learned is that it’s not really that people don’t care that you’re upset it’s that they have an inability to sit in a space for you. It’s almost like they don’t know how to take care of you if you’re upset most likely because they don’t take care of themselves in the same way. Think about it If I know how to do something for myself then I can most certainly do it for you and if I’m healthy and happy I want to do it for you. Don’t look at it as a reflection of you and them not caring it could just be there in ability to not be able to do something for you when I don’t do it for them selves.

[@glowinthadark]

It has been said there is a time and a season for everything let yourself feel the emotions they are real and let them past you have to deal with them or they will keep coming up and trying to run your life remember your head is at the top for a reason it controls everything even your feelings God must have known that you needed an action Angel waiting for you try to do your best while you were here you were definitely set with a mission in a perp remember feelings are just feelings they don't Define who we are who cares about other people's opinions anyway even if they are judging you we are all unique if we were the same that be boring nobody or anything will ever make you happy but yourself you have to find what makes you happy you have to learn to be grateful cuz it could always be worse I guess being content is what it's all about always stay true to thyself

[@dobrevdobrev1757]

Stephanie, I wish you were my neighbour.i would talk to you.. i feel so lonley

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

Women swear they know everything about everything and often issue judgement based on their feelings and not truth - to me that's what makes most of them irritating and no one to deal with.

[@MS-ns4ki]

I didn’t appreciate a jealous woman over flowers bc she brags about her husband - my life is harder please back it up now .