Overthrown: Facing Capricorn’s Shadow to Build Your Inner Kingdom

[@mommabear5663]

Very interesting.

[@richardlees5303]

The "inner critic" is often imposed and well documented by unhappy/unfulfilled parents. At least that was my experience with parents who hated and crushed me every time I came up for air. Basically told at every opportunity how I'd ruined their lives. I consciously chose alternative communication with my own children. I should also saw I deeply appreciate what you'd put forward in this video. Thank you.

[@cafe.cedarbeard]

Thank you Natha, this speaks volumes in my inner man cave, mid Capricorn solar return on the Saturn day yesterday with Saturn rising along with exalted Venus and Moon shows my slow but mighty revival already afoot. It is as you say, all the things about the critic slamming the door shut on my will to shine as the Hermit I am in my bones and beyond them, the AB, seat of my Ka which I feel must have been trained in the old times to strengthen the energy field to be able to survive my childhood and emerge at Chiron return with wisdom and not only traumas. In fact, the traumas are being more quickly released than ever before in recent updates of my energy system. The pain of Saturn as inner master only hurts until you find the teachers who know how to do incremental progress things like sit, stand, lay around and breathe, expand the breath and relax the armored muscles of Roman Catholic brutality systems installed in the European inheritance. There we go, I think about it the energy darkens... To brighter things which is the integration of the shadow which turns the stuff that kept me stuck into the fuel for my dragon's flying capacity, north node galactic center I've always had my lights on inside, and remember vividly being an infant and onward. The time it takes to train is no big deal with the discipline to realize that nothing is eternal but the POV and the kisses and delight of Nuit, mother of Infinite Space, Infinite Stars and every experience there ever was, is or can be. Then enters the drumming rudiments that influence my already well trained musicianship on other instruments with drums on the side always, the Mom monster standing on my dragon's tail becomes the long training that made my dragon strong enough to carry me through the lower astral all the way to the divine Priestess that connects the human to the crown, and then the whole universe is at my back and incremental developments in stick and foot tapping along with intentional patterns and holding for an intentional amount of time without changing increases the clearing of energy blockages I've already been diminishing for 30 years since I learned from the first books that told me there's value in sitting and breathing, and vibrating god names with energy, and deepening and lengthening the breath long before I got the Tai Ji lessons and anatomy training to know how the lungs situate in the body, and the incredible value of the blood, lymph, and Qi circulation that increases by magnitudes when the belly pump is normalized, which for me took until the last 5 years to relax all the way down and my back to relax enough for my lungs to have learned to expand well beyond what I ever knew was possible where when I drone my voice with compression in my throat not the mixing desk I can sound for about a minute or more if only sitting and not moving around. I digress, it's what wizards my age do as our path synthesizes from our decades of training to make us ready at Chiron return to be of great service to humanity. I quit drinking for one thing, and that's exactly what caused Chiron's wound and the catastrophic behavior in the humans of my childhood where the grandparents who didn't booze were as a rock of stability in my wild childhood with tsunami emotions in the fish where I'm naturally more of a bird in air and cat on land. Even the water birds only go so deep. I'm one year off the stupid juice of empires and that's got to have something to do with the level of things clearing up in my inner temple.

[@cafe.cedarbeard]

Old me complains about what barriers have always stood in my way and how do I get Mom out of my head to free my Kung Fu of light from the Catholic dungeons? New me taps feet and sticks along with Set (get it? haha) patterns (pater) to train my skills out of the kiddie pool of jam band freight trains that taught my previous tense habits how to relax enough to improvise, but now the practice pad and the sticks and the Stick Control book provide a scaffolding so I'm not just whacking around my jam band randomness, but challenging my muscles to stick with whatever pattern the book shows and to stay with the click running in the foreground of this kind of practice. It grounds and centers decades of discipline in other things, like meditation, where I can sit for an hour and feel as though no time has passed and no tension, but actually increased relaxation I've never found with any other practice, though it was previous disciplines like Tai Ji that make the new drum wood shedding a real pleasure as when energy is the primary place of identity it's no big deal if it takes until February for me to be ready to test my skills again at a high level jam that's more like a band level open mic with set songs with bridges and parts and not just kiddie trains on circular tracks so the drunks don't get lost.

[@cafe.cedarbeard]

Intentional practice like this is what breaks the jam trap, where when it gets normalized as deep as was in me my inner demons can easily distract me and I'm just swimming in circles in the kiddie pool that smells like my tortured teen spirit darkened by the crap my alchemy required to kick on the lights inside. Holding to a particular beat is the deepening of the relaxation trance, if you can keep it up for 20 minutes without wavering. It took until my Prog Sun has been in Pisces which is my natal 6 from Libra 1 thus; getting my sea legs and learning the ways of the water birds the crows and owls cannot fathom. For this thing to feel actually fun and satisfying is a long awaited success, a blooming of a long underground push of sprout power.