Parents blindsided by daughter's suicide hope her story helps others

[@decembercloud7355]

Depression is scary. I feel like you’re just fighting it everyday until you finally just get tired. Some people last longer, some people don’t.

[@karlamay_]

December Cloud yeah, I agree. Some people lasts longer while other don't. It feels like there is a huge dark clouds hanging over your head. Sometimes, when I am in class or at work or at home, it just- happens. That feeling that nothing in this world will ever make you feel better, it sucks. And it's all in your head, there is no escaping.

[@decembercloud7355]

CampBuddy Chick anxiety is terrible as well. I get anxiety about doing things but also anxiety because I’m not doing things 😭.

[@decembercloud7355]

Karla May Exactly. It’s true it really never goes away. You just get really good at ignoring it on on a daily basis but it’s exhausting sometimes.

[@yesenia5612]

True

[@floatyseagull9472]

It’s also something you can have power over, but is very hard to break through

[@justicewillprevail1106]

Depression is a monster. It slowly takes away your goals, motivation, drive, happiness and soul and sometimes life.

[@xx_caramel_xx5857]

True every 40 seconds someone commit or attempts suicide

[@antdx316]

It's better to censor certain things from ever becoming known.

[@nicolem2040]

Sophia’s Vlogs why do i feel like this

[@scooby2181]

It does, it's evil and darkness that's hard to get out of.

[@scooby2181]

@Monica Merino not saying I don't believe but tried that and it didn't work.

[@truckerharold1151]

They say "just talk about it" but when you try, nobody want's to listen.

[@ApexSystem3675]

Yes!

[@tammiepage6489]

Exactly or they say don’t say that I don’t say that I don’t say this because they don’t wanna believe I guess when you tell him the thought that you get or whatever but that’s you trying to ask for help because sometimes you know who even happy will listen to you and talk to you then it probably would help a lot because sometimes you know you just need somebody to shut up and listen to youthat’s all you need sometimes but you know if you don’t do that like at least therapist or whatever all they do wanna do is medicate you and medication that just makes you worse

[@Guys_Love_Each_Other]

hmmmmmmmmm, actually they want to listen optimistic things

[@matthewglenguir7204]

The father retelling how he found his daughter is chilling

[@jeffthepileoftrash1946]

It actually made me cry :(

[@labelmelola368]

I still don’t fully understand how he found her body or what happens there I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I just don’t understand what happened

[@princesskitkat7061]

She jumped from a overpassed and hit her head and died I'm guessing hopefully he doesn't have any to do with it​@@labelmelola368

[@user-zg2bs7yy3e]

She is weak

[@caseyjoyvoss]

@@user-zg2bs7yy3eso are you

[@xoxocasey9968]

Depressed people aren't weak. They don't give up easily. They fight long and hard. But like anyone would physically, they get exhausted mentally and so they give up.

[@robertabasheer9526]

Very ,very true

[@jalalmacarambon7412]

Prayer is what we need.... Because only GOD knows what's goin on with us.

[@theloquaciouslady]

@@jalalmacarambon7412 I prayed and God told me to go to a therapist and take medication.

[@spaceshido6124]

@@theloquaciouslady god will never tell u to go to a doctor cause a doctor will never know the problem like god ..he knows you more than youreself.

[@555Trout]

They are actually done if the toughest human beings there are. Immensely courageous and strong to survive with constant suffering.

[@sikenahodkinson7669]

Asking a depressed person why they are depressed when they have so much to live for is like asking an asthmatic "What do you mean you can't breathe? There's lots of air in here!"

[@yoonari9840]

i remember i kept on repeating “i can’t breathe? i feel like i can’t breathe.” when i was going through depression

[@aliyahximena1466]

Good point

[@vickysloan4746]

Omg yes that explains it,so many ppl think u can pinpoint it .if that were true it could be more easily fixed.if only

[@tos100returns]

The average person believes that depression is a form of sadness, and that it is linked to being sad about something, like a job or an outcome. Those of us who LIVE this depression, day in and day out, understand that depression is THE ABSENCE OF SADNESS, and every other emotion. It's that 800-pound invisible gorilla that sits on your chest and informs you that you're not going to be doing anything today, so suck it up and lay there. My mother always approached my Major Depressive Disorder as "just a funk" that I "need to snap out of." You don't want to know how they treated my undiagnosed Autism, which I only learned about four years ago. Physical abuse was their answer, their cure, for all of my ailments. I'm really surprised that I'm still alive.

[@yoonari9840]

@@tos100returns hey, i understand you. you’re not alone. if they don’t care about your well-being, I am here and I care about you. keep going strong my dear

[@iammckenna]

“She was such an achiever” This is part of the problem. There’s such a pressure in American culture to be successful, achieve, achieve, achieve. Combine that with the way that mental illness is still not an openly discussed subject and this is the result. 😔

[@calichan3245]

This is actually in part of almost every culture, the asian culture especially too.

[@tothepoint4080]

Than a non achiever is better than her , if this is what a achiever does. Right

[@tothepoint4080]

Only moon dont have any pressure ,you can move to any part of the world , stress pressure will always be there.

[@tothepoint4080]

Lets make them.victim.with mental.illness , if they are sick take them to psychiatrist, but many people look and behave normal.and then take extreme step

[@lisasu7094]

@@calichan3245 yeah, that's why suicide rates in Asia are highest in the world

[@lisatraveloften3706]

Depression is so debilitating. You just can’t “snap out of it” and people say they understand but they really don’t.

[@potter5647]

I want to know your story

[@michaelamay9714]

It’s a way at looking at life that you can’t easily unseen

[@EvanandDevan]

People just get tired of life. It doesn’t matter about achievements, family, food, work. Feeling fatigue and tired makes u eventually leave

[@crazypete3]

It's more like feeling useless and invisible in life.

[@averygrimreaper6321]

It's exactly the way I feel 24?7 and for the last 5+ years....it's just time to go now!

[@coin2039]

@@averygrimreaper6321 are you sill. There? :(

[@inceptionsd]

So you're saying a teenager who still went to school and had no major obligations and responsibilities in life is somehow tired of life? You sure about that?

[@deaddreamawakened6835]

Existential anxiety has a lot to do with it to, at least for me. You could work so hard and in one split second everything you've built could be destroyed. Either by a distracted driver, criminal, random brain aneurysm, so many messed up things could happen in life. Sometimes not existing anymore seems more appealing than living with anxiety and depression.

[@jamesr1703]

I knew at a young age that I could never handle the responsibility of marriage and a family. So I chose not to do it. I consumed myself in work. Then one day I wanted to end it all and for some reason I ended up getting a dog. Now whenever I look into his eyes, I see that he needs me. In the morning when I don't want to get out of bed, he is there begging me to get up and play. He has helped me a great deal. He is my emotional companion now.

[@suzeeh2216]

Hi, I am so sorry to all those who go through depression...Sometimes what people need is true companionship whether by humans or animals...But an unbalanced work vs personal life balance can make you deeply depressed. Try taking time off and go find a new hobby...set a goal to learn something new and please dont stay alone too long...seek out your family or friends...

[@shirleycole7854]

My little dog is my emotional support.

[@constantdarkfog49]

Your blessed this dog found you, happy for you.

[@underthestarsoverthemoon4259]

Aww😭❤️❤️❤️

[@keyanna2633]

Aww that's soo sweet. 🤗😊❤

[@k9khodi363]

Thankfully she is now free of pain and suffering. ❤

[@imaniberrios3647]

Not even a min in, mom says "she was such a happy girl"... like she still doesnt get it. Parents need to see thier ACTUAL kids... not who they believe/want them to be. This girl was an actor, her parents the directors who could take credit for success of the show. The daughter knew her what her parents wanted to see, who she " should" be. It killed her.

[@TheFaithfulRedeemer]

Precisely. All of the things she wrote in her notebook, someone clearly put those ideas into her head. I wonder who they could have been?

[@sleepyy6332]

I hate it when I see someone say I’m depressed and someone else says “but you have a good life, at least you have your parents and food” or something like that.

[@jasmineaurora3144]

Why do you hate that?

[@scottcharney1091]

@@jasmineaurora3144 People who say that don't understand the situation. Also, that response just makes the depressed person feel guilty.

[@vivibuffy3352]

What would you rather hear instead in order to feel better?

[@sophiegail7133]

me too like that has nothing to do with it

[@updownstate]

It's ignorant and it makes the ignorant person feel superior to the depressed person. Ignore those people.

[@eddemania4676]

When she wrote “I hated it” and “I hate myself for that” that really hit😥

[@asvj]

I hate myself infinite times more than the times that people hated on me

[@Bradmhj]

Jey-arr1427 nice

[@cordzetsmccants1360]

Couldn't figure out happiness

[@PK-bp2my]

Ithouht she might have been scisofrenic

[@barbraking1819]

I hate these concerts too......

[@Gwimbleyooo]

When I was younger and dealing with depression, the school counselor told me I was too young to be depressed. That was in the 90s. Hopefully there is more recognition of this horrible disease. Very sad to see a bright light taken too young.

[@coleworld4385]

I am this child. Even as an adult, it’s a struggle every single day. I’m so sorry for this family’s loss. She was a beautiful soul.

[@GooniesGirl]

I was her as a high achieving teenager. Straight As and full scholarship. I couldn't do it to my parents so I didn't. But my dad died 12 years ago and my mom passed away 7 months ago. Every day is a struggle to stay here. 😢

[@mlzotter6405]

@@GooniesGirli’m so sorry ❤️

[@eden_aumakua]

We're ALL this child.

[@niahoward1920]

@@eden_aumakua I don’t think you get what she’s saying.

[@niahoward1920]

I know it’s easy for me to say, but hang in there.

[@MONi_LALA]

She achieved so much and have a loving family. And she still call herself a failure, lazy, and a burden. Depression is very scary.

[@lxlx7941]

As someone with depression, in my experience, it blonde you :/ You can have everything and anything, but it still engulfs you until it kills you ._.

[@legendkillersshittyduffleb932]

Yea I'm sad and have no parents it really sucks

[@fairygal8223]

You are loved just by being you. I needed to give you this message. God bless.

[@kimberlybrowndiaz9293]

You said she has a happy family......you don't know that...stop judging....that's the problem !!!??! You can't see inside her home .she might've been molested or abused....you don't know

[@yyg4632]

yes. its horrible. to think maybe thats part of why she pushed herself and acheived so much, because she never thought she was good enough in the first place.

[@imbroken3860]

My friend was just like her. She was successful. She was smart. But she was just so depressed. So on may 26th 2018 she took her life. I miss her every single day.

[@mohammadfj9342]

How did she killed herself Becca?

[@imbroken3860]

@@mohammadfj9342 she shot herself. With her dads pistol. He is a cop.

[@mohammadfj9342]

@@imbroken3860 Im sorry for your loss. The world has many people who loves to see other people suffer. The dangerous ones are those who stays in the dark and devour the people. Be patient. The world also has many good people fighting oppressors.

[@fahoodie1852]

duct tape bandit That’s one day from my birthday, exactly a year later was my first suicide attempt... I’m not proud of it

[@mnvlogs134]

I’m so sorry do you have any tip on how to get through it

[@bumbabees]

I say this a lot, but, depression is an extremely hidden disorder. That's why it's so deadly. I don't care how much you think you know someone, you really don't. They could be suffering in silence and you would be none the wiser. So please, check on your loved ones as often as you can. Make sure they're doing okay. Make it known that you love them.

[@Shay_TheUnpopularOpinion_]

I’m revisiting this story 2 years later after battling depression myself, and I have to say this, depression is very complex, but calling her “Awesome Alexandra” sounds like they had too much pressure on this child. I totally get it. I’ve had a lot of pressure on me until I decided to let it go!!! We must listen to our children! Don’t just EXPECT EXPECT… LISTEN!! Ask them how they are REALLY feeling!! I see in the diary she wrote nothing but how she was afraid to disappoint her parents 😢 Very, very sad!

[@bUrRiEdaLiVe6]

I really think sometimes we put that pressure on ourselves. Loving parents will praise their kids, and it looks like she WAS awesome and exceptional. But they surely would love her without academic achievements, or high IQ or whatever, but depression and anxiety and other mental problems cause such a distortion on how we see things, that maybe for her those loving praise words were a burden, a constant reminder to be perfect or else, and not being ALWAYS awesome terrified her, and didn't let her see she WAS awesome just being her

[@jennajtxx]

Yeh I gave my daughter a day off yesterday coz she seemed stressed. She says school is horrible place and it’s destroying kids.

[@Sandra-fc8pc]

@catherines_castle16we don’t really know, do we? We can call it the fault of the society!

[@firebvrd]

sounds so similarly to “Amazing Amy” from gone girl

[@jillrouton4097]

“Sounds like.” Thx for sharing your opinion of what the parents did wrong that helped her want to commit suicide. 😒

[@sanny-nk9re]

Never neglect your children's emotions when they are babies NEVER tell them to stop crying because when they grow up to be teenagers they will not tell you how they feel. Because if you try to shape your child's to be a certain way and denied their emotions at a young age when they are struggling they won't show anyone because it is against what society expects you to act.

[@TofuTeo]

100% this. Give your kids space to express negative, painful emotions. And validate those emotions.

[@candacedawn357]

I agree & this especially needs to be done with young boys!

[@henloworld514]

aha my parents would hit me and scream at me if I cried

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

@@henloworld514 same. My mother would beat me and then beat me to stop crying

[@isobel64]

but unlike most teens, she still talked to her parents and they listened so really there wasnt much else THEY could do unless they would have snuck into her room and read her journal and suggested therapy but then yall westerners would have called that invasion of privacy so..

[@patricke8627]

“What will I miss about dying tonight. The possibility of getting better.” I’ve been suicidal many times and the ONLY thing that keeps me is the possibility of getting better. Touches me to the bone

[@dicksdrugsanddebutantes9305]

Yeah it does get better! It's a matter of treating your body and mind well, sleeping properly, eating well etc. It's not quick or easy but it works.

[@Laura-Yu]

Same, also the pain isn’t appealing either... thought about falling, hanging, sleeping pills but they all sound so painful... so really there’s only hope

[@JFoch8014]

@@dicksdrugsanddebutantes9305 tell thus to someone who is dying of cancer. Same thing.

[@Sky37533]

Yeah me too... I also want it to get better but it often doesn't feel like it is getting better. :(

[@katherinejones850]

My beloved kitty kept me alive because I knew he wouldn’t understand. I loved him so much. Now I have other kitties & a husband! But it’s scary, not easy to get over.

[@manarmarzouk8595]

She tried so hard. I love her, god bless her soul.

[@alison__16]

"she was such a happy girl". Her parents need to look at those videos again

[@inisen1469]

For real her eyes have no joy in them whatsoever

[@vibsking21]

I'm in bed thinking about taking my life, did a quick search on KZbin this is the first video that pops up, think am going to go see a doctor can't keep it no longer ....

[@amylivemusic]

I'm glad you're considering getting help! You don't have to suffer alone.

[@melissab9639]

I hope you feel better. I'm glad to know you're seeing a doctor. If you have a out, go hug her/him. I'm wishing you the best. ((HuG))

[@MackManning27]

@@melissab9639 No one cares about me. I have done horrible things and I don't deserve to be happy

[@vibsking21]

Thanks alot guys it has been hard after leaving the army fighting many demon, plus find out my gf cheating,.... life just suck at the moment, ...

[@kelseyalvarado4278]

Your life is special you are here for a reason and I’m so glad push those bad thoughts away

[@gone7777]

Ppl don’t want to hurt anyone by leaving permanently; but they can’t take the permanent personal pain anymore by staying alive

[@JF32304]

Yup! Struggle daily.

[@irenehernandez1715]

Tyler Parisi Exactly... bingo. thats it...

[@asvj]

I struggled to keep on living for almost 14yrs now since I was a 2ndyr high school until now that I am 27yrs old I still feel the same

[@gothdeathk9201]

This comment hit me hard ,this relates!

[@Jennifer-ex5wy]

Omg..very well said. So true!! 😊

[@gumigummies2505]

My health teacher told my class about this girl. It's so so important to put your mental health first. May she rest in peace.

[@ParkJimin-xq9hp]

I'm literally holding back tears. I've been going through this same thing since I was in 5th grade and I'm still battling myself till this day. This honestly speaks out for so many people. My condolence to the family and her friends😇🙏

[@arytonandretti3785]

youre tougher than me im crying

[@dhoryy6244]

i'm soo proud of you! sending a biggg hug ❤

[@trangng3384]

Stay strong💖

[@janetrogers4738]

Hold on and reach out for help. I'll pray 🙏 for you. You are beautiful and perfect the way you are!

[@ot9twicee117]

Stay strong, I hope your life gets better soon

[@rachel_elizabeth3152]

Depression is basically a war between you and your brain. And sometimes you just can’t win a war.

[@niraj5251]

But if u win u can achieve everything u want ..✨

[@Octavia-nd3br]

@@niraj5251 Yeah not really. Life has a lot of limitations when ur not rich.

[@redstarseed514]

Depression is not always about you and your state of mind. Not living up to people’s expectation, not succeeding, being in a abusive family, being bullied at school, your environment, bankruptcy, stressed out, your job, your situation, being elderly, abandoned and alone, homeless, crippled from an accident, always sick, being in constant pain, etc. There’s a lot that comes into play. It’s when the person see no way out and death is the only escape.

[@Octavia-nd3br]

@Olivia K Yeah no.

[@Madinaash]

I really appreciate how her mother said “because it’s written right here”. She realized and validated her daughters feelings. I wished someone got to her...and she felt loved 😞

[@aj-sz8mu]

often times, thats not the issue. As she said in the journal, when someone took her to something she'll love. She said, she hated it, and she hated herself for that. She knows she's loved, but her mind is telling her otherwise. She had personal expectations that she couldn't overcome. And unfortunately, she never spoke about it to anyone, so maybe they can try to help.

[@paulrodriguez8852]

It isn't that she didn't feel loved. In her mind? She was thinking that she didn't measure up? When we are young? We don't feel we are as good as others. Which everyone knows is not true. She put too much stress on herself. Which is very sad. God rest her soul.

[@brendagallegos3042]

I believe that when they are in that extreme darkness, they do not even think about all the people who love them. The pain that they have lived with for so long overshadows any thoughts of other people. They are just desperate to not feel that pain anymore. It is not about us who love them. In their world, it is simply about stopping the pain.

[@paulrodriguez8852]

@@brendagallegos3042 The sad part about it is that she was a smart popular girl. But even talented famous people think these thoughts and wind up killing themselves. She probably thought in her own mind no one could help her. The sad part is that her parents were and are really ggod people..

[@kyleenoldham6242]

​@@brendagallegos3042 based on the brain development of an adolescent they struggle to see past the present moment and grasp long-term and the concept that the pain may not be forever or that there is hope or that they will get out of their current situation eventually. It's all here and now and intense emotion and impulsivity and thats a powder keg for something bad to happen when in that depressed state

[@jassydenean9947]

I can't talk for everyone since everyone has different perspectives and situations , but when I was depressed it was mainly because I felt alone. I felt like I couldn't express my emotions without being punished or dismissed. I was taught that emotions ARE SCARY. So I grew up with no coping mechanisms. Listen to your children , children are always speaking to you ,even without saying anything . Teach your children to express there emotions , and show them your emotions too without crossing boundaries. Believe me , it truly helps .

[@Georgie63]

I can’t believe these parents are so loving that they can set their grief aside, and actually be concerned about others. What a selfless act. It’s also an extremely healing thing to do. I think their daughter would be incredibly proud of them. I’m very proud of the fact that this couple is staying together and working together for a greater good.

[@skateranddancer]

They are also opening up their daughters most private journals to the public. Imagine, you die and your loved ones publicly share your private diary or password protected documents. It’s a violation of privacy and gives insight into her life and why she may not have felt comfortable bringing her struggles to her parents. Her dad was making her death all about his trauma too. They need therapy.

[@cujkklcghimd2676]

When he said he was just hoping for warmth....that was the saddest thing I ever heard

[@Smoove_J]

Those parents were in so much pain. I hope they’re getting some good counseling.

[@eminemilly]

She was stressed she felt she had to be an overachiever to be loved. I had the same feeling I was a loser and a failure and couldnt love myself if I wasn't good enough. Give unconditional love your kids no matter what, but reward positive hardworking behavior even when they fail sometimes like we all do. No blame to the parents because they were doing their best.

[@elfglow4557]

Yes absolutely. IMO she just lacked feeling loved

[@TofuTeo]

To add on to the previous comment, I think it was difficult for her to feel truly loved and seen because she couldn’t show the hurting, vulnerable part of herself.

[@eminemilly]

@@TofuTeo right.. when you have to hide your sadness you inadvertently hide some of your happiness too

[@actual_doge3221]

Yes, her whole life was adults all around her deciding for her that she would do well and how dictate how she should feel. I think she felt FORCED to feel the success part of it and it kinda backfired. Like you're only truly happy, truly successful if society DECIDES that's what you are and she wasnt allowed to feel sad or express it. I thibk thats what happened and why the suicide rate for teens is so high. There are so many expectations to meet and fears that the moment kids mess up it's like they're shunned and shamed hardcore for not being perfect.

[@lanylane130]

@@actual_doge3221 this is what i feel. i feel like a burden and shameful for not being perfect

[@jessethedutchie9649]

As someone who struggles with passive suicidal ideation, it’s not the fear of death that prevents me from going through with it. It’s the thought of how it’ll affect the people close to me that stops me.

[@threeblessings575]

This is so disturbing..it mirrors my own teen daughter , a high achiever too and I was shocked to find in her journal thoughts of self loathing with a drawing of feet on the edge of a chair and talks of suicide . I didn't know what to do but confront her and admit to reading it..she was so angry at me but atheist it opened the door for a very important conversation and an appt with the Dr..

[@gracegotthis3704]

Prayers being said.

[@threeblessings575]

@@gracegotthis3704 thank you

[@almighty9539]

"every 90 minutes, someone from 15 to 24 takes their own lives" it could be anyone of us in this room

[@ryokokirchhoff782]

I know right!!! :((

[@scottcharney1091]

Besides that, suicide rates are highest among the elderly and/or ailing.

[@lilith-4687]

Yes

[@crusty_]

it could be you, it could be me, it could be anyone!

[@shiloh1181]

Someone in the comments has probably killed themselves...

[@juliet2021]

i feel like apart of this whole thing just by the way they describe her is she killed herself because people expected way too much from her

[@lauraroberts8203]

just me .That's exactly want I think too.This is so sad

[@hypnotherapy69]

same :(

[@afiqjais8855]

True

[@cherrylm2]

Yes l think so too

[@michelemoline5984]

Not always.. sometimes achievements and perfection are placed on themselves

[@bgipper4109]

I am a parent who has suffered from depression my entire adult life. I am now a parent and I can tell you, there are signs. We as parents MUST look for the signs, they are there.

[@blakedevitt6948]

She was the opposite of what she wrote in the notebooks, but that doesn't have to make her feel any less like those things. The mind is cruel when it negatively alters one's perceptions of self, others, and other things. Disease, physical handicaps and body damage, and mental and emotional health issues are evil.

[@MollyMcBooter]

“You are broken, you are a burden, you are lazy, you are a failure.” oh my goodness thats the exact same thoughts that go through my head when I’m in that dark place 😔 It’s a struggle every day to not think that way. Poor girl. I understand and I’m so sorry 😔

[@sarahkreitz2467]

and no you are not keep strong you deserve. A beutiful life and you dont need to stay broken sending prayers that you feel better

[@dishokaur1410]

I feel like this

[@johnrimmontaquiso6018]

No youre not. JESUS died for you. That means you are precious to Him.

[@estelleschneider9033]

@@JF32304 Yes the devil the father of lies works in planting lies in the mind..is his field Children need to know they are loved for who they are not for performance...deeply rooted and emotionally..is the area of neglect. That they know they can come to Mom or Dad with everything..good and pain and will be accepted The message sent when this is inconsistent from childhood is we love only when you perform well It is a silent unspoken message.. sent We always love all of you the good and not good and will help and listen The enemy loves darkness He tempts souls..in suicide. Self hatred... All negative thoughts are from the devil I reiterate THE LIAR

[@ericl8407]

Do the reverse mantra technique and apply action: "fix yourself, become a asset, stop being lazy, start succeeding"

[@bella.beauty]

The most achieved people are the most depressed, the ones with the least good mental health. Sometimes those are the ones to look out for and ask “are you ok” because they are the ones who smile the most just to hide their sadness.

[@sootuckchoong7077]

But why should she be so unhappy when she had achieved so many things everybody's wishing to achieve. She's not bullied or anything like that, so what can cause her to wish death? Really unimaginable.

[@bella.beauty]

Soo Tuck Choong In my opinion, people sometimes don’t feel good enough. They are harder on themselves because of it. Maybe that’s why..? Saw this on the internet but it’s debatable as the article I read said, “Smarter individuals tend to analyze their lives, and that leads them to become hypercritical, it leads to worrying and overthinking.”

[@sasha7475]

@@bella.beauty You are correct 👍

[@sootuckchoong7077]

@@bella.beauty If they succeed in education but still think too much, it may be due to , well, still feeling not good enough in some areas like making good friends, family closeness, capable enough?

[@10RBREEZY]

Wow your post read right through my soul. I am like this in real life. but mask it. Ever heard of Robin Williams?

[@sqquiddy]

I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was a little girl. I’m in my mid 20s now and I’m still struggling with it. Just two weeks ago I decided I was going to end my life and I finally felt peace. The only thing that keeps me from going through with it is the damage that it would give my family. I can relate to her and her pain.

[@mariaparra8785]

The suicidal thoughts that you have are from the enemy you need to find Jesus he will take that pain away..when you have evil thoughts read the Bible or pray to God...I hope that you can heal soon..remember that is a sin only God decides when you leave this earth..God bless you

[@GodSoLoved.Yeshua]

Death doesn't remove the pain. Jesus died for our salvation. If we die without repentance and without receiving his gift of salvation after death it's eternal torment. It's complete separation from God. Here on Earth we benefit from his goodness. Your life is valuable, your enemy would love nothing more than for you to take your life, to believe there is no hope. There is hope for you, his name is Jesus. He can heal and deliver you.

[@hectorrodriguez7002]

Im so glad you didnt.🙂

[@alanis0533]

Y'all are disgusting using her struggles as an excuse to preach about god. I hope it gets better for you, though.

[@tbunnyshy1]

@@alanis0533 How do you know it’s an excuse? Isn’t that an assumption on your part?

[@audreyking5315]

The pain it took to stay, was greater than the pain it took to go. My cousin did this to me. 16yrs gone by this coming July. It's a pain like no other, it never goes away, only dulls with time, but never fully goes away. I age, but he doesn't. He will forever be 29.

[@Jen-ks9yn]

You can have anything. A loving and caring family, friends and all that. But If you are depressed. That doesn’t make you happy. Nothing will make you really happy. You can laugh. Smile. And make jokes. But you can not be fully happy..

[@margaritabulos]

True happiness don't exist.

[@SamuelGlover]

Jen I hate when it when my mom says look at what you have. Like that’s supposed to make the pain go away.

[@sentientbeinggg]

that is,,,so true

[@darksideofthemoon5364]

But why?

[@titianmom]

I had a rough high school. Was abused by others. What got me through was accepting Christ as my Savior. Jesus changed my life. I knew that I was loved, no matter what. Jesus said, "I came that you might have life, abundant life." Our society today is trying to get rid of Jesus, but He is the one we need so desperately. If you want to know real Truth, read the gospel of John and ask Jesus to be in your life. He will set you free.

[@vibingwithjess9920]

Student: *Walks in to counselors office* Counselor: Hey how can I help you? Student: *I’ve been really depressed* Counselor: Oh honey your not depressed your grades are terrific and your always laughing with your friends. Just keep up the good work here’s a pass back to class.

[@rociobany290]

Most counselors are totally clueless 😞

[@someonethatexists2776]

@Rainbow Master hi

[@user-hx9cc1qh3h]

This isn't even an exaggeration lmao When I was 15 I told my school psychologist "I think I have depression" she dismissed me because she said depressed people's eyes were not like mine)???

[@saylerwhitlow2729]

Fr

[@sydney.s]

My counselor instead takes me out of class when I’m trying to GET my grades up-

[@aricmackenthun329]

Depression really sucks. I've been fighting it for decades, I really wish I could get over it. I don't think that I ever will, but I keep trying.

[@kagaminek]

People really don't talk enough about the very common symptom of depression called anhedonia. It's when you stop feeling pleasure, like you literally can't feel true joy. So you go out with your friends or family, you achieve great things, and yet you feel miserable. It's terrible and makes you feel hopeless. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and it's sad that an amazing girl like Alexandra had to suffer from it.

[@dragonflyy000]

As a mother who has lost a child to suicide also, my heart hurts for this family. ANY death of a child is the worst, but when it happens by their own hand, it puts completely different spin on the tragedy. May God bless this family, and may Alexandra be at peace now in her Heavenly home.

[@marleywenzel3207]

i'm so sorry for your loss

[@mariflores4938]

So sorry for your loss. God Bless

[@florencemiller7826]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss ,I lost my daughter almost six years ago and the pain in my heart is with me every day

[@randshahrour6157]

Ameen

[@TheLauren3305]

I’ve had thoughts before but seeing the face of my mom and dad doing cpr on my brother when his heart stopped changed my mind. I was in a lot of pain but the pain in their face killed me more. I’ll never forget it. Life is hard but it’s worth it.

[@chess4727]

What happend to your brother do you wanna share...?

[@TheLauren3305]

Harsimran Kohli he overdosed and found him blue faced in the bathroom after kicking in the door in. Foam coming out of his mouth he was making a gurgling rattle sound it will forever haunt me.

[@isasecret]

Think about your family thats the only thing that matters

[@TheLauren3305]

Xaris Mitoglou it’s hard when your family is the problem

[@sandovalpaul]

Hi sweetie glad you found that suicide is not the way to go and found the love your parents have for you and your brother made you realize that

[@jennf9981]

This is so scary to me. She reminds me so much of my 14 year old daughter. My daughter has been hospitalized, she self harms, but at the same time she is so smart and motivated. I read her journal only when I feel afraid for her, for our family. I don’t want to invade her privacy, but I have to protect her. Sometimes she seems so together and happy, but my brain screams for me to “PAY ATTENTION “. I try. I do, but I’m so afraid one day I might not be vigilant enough, or busy with my other children, and we will loose her forever. I’m so so sorry for your loss. She seemed to be such an amazing person. Thank you for drawing attention to an issue so many of us struggle with, but have nowhere and no one to really turn to. Keep up your amazing work. We all need support when it comes to our children’s depression, suicidal ideation, and we need to know there are other people who understand and care about what’s happening with our children and our families. God Bless

[@abstract3213]

Get a therapist!! A good one! If your child is depressed the parents or someone else is doing something wrong! Something VERY wrong! I am speaking from experience, because I myself am a child of too critical and success- oriented abusive parents, and I opened this video because thinking about suicide. Get help until it's not too late!

[@Nobody-yx8og]

You really sounded like my mum. I hope your daughter gets better 🙏

[@andreawhite6585]

Man this is just gut wrenching. My 13 yr old son is already starting to battle depression. Unfortunately it runs in our family. Getting him counseling and praying that helps him. There’s several personal factors as well that’s effecting his mental health. It breaks my heart for all these youngins. I myself have battled severe anxiety, social anxiety, depression and self harm since I was a young teenager. I’m 36 now. Still battling but definitely have learned coping skills. It breaks my heart for everyone who’s suffering in silence. My brother in law committed suicide back in August, he was 33. No letter. We didn’t see it coming, he was a naturally quiet, very kind, man. Anyways, God bless anyone who reads this. R.I.P. to those gone way too soon.

[@eldavanzyl7131]

I battled depression and severe anxiety for 40 years. I went to psychologists etc. Was diagnosed severeral times but no antidepressants worked for me. It was getting worst and worst over the years. My life become an empty shell. I isolate myself and at the end I never shower, get out of bed or connect with anyone except my dear husband who took great care of me. I thought of suicide many times but only because Jesus Christ the Son of GOD in my life I never act on the thought. A few months ago I heard of a certain antidepressant. After a few weeks I gradually started to begin living again. Now I am back and feeling great. I will never stop using it. Antidepressants doesn't cure depression but it help to balance the chemicals in your brain to be normal again. The problem is to get the right combination of meds to work for you as a individual. I do hope this can help somebody who read this. ❤️

[@avishasrivastavaxi-e7255]

I hope you and your son are doing well now

[@cm.e.3146]

Her voice when she sings omg beautiful....

[@yesyou8441]

just because someone is percieved as happy on the outside, doesn’t mean they’ll feel the same way on the inside. I can personally say that I can feel guilt or embarrassment from sharing my pain or insecurities with others. Bottling things up feels safer than being open to judgement. Praying for this family and wish them all the best. 💕

[@aj-sz8mu]

Its exhausting to take care of someone depressed (making them depressed too in the process). and thats mostly what people want to save their loved ones from, by staying silent. and they dont think anyone can really help. and sometimes thats true.

[@wylier]

that is what professional counseling is for, it seems to me. There are doctors and others who can give medication to those who need it.

[@kdelka81]

@@aj-sz8mu You know, you should think about a suicidal person who feels like a burden reading your comment. What a horrible thing to comment.

[@aj-sz8mu]

@@kdelka81 so youre saying only those who are victims are who matters? You dont think that those taking care of them are hurting too? Are they not allowed to be hurt or depressed as well? Is this a competition of who is better at showing who is more depressed. Or is it a vompetition of who can hide it better? Your family loves their depressed family member absolutely, but thinking that they dont have a hard time taking care of that someone is not going to solve problems. Its going to cause one. There is no need to keep quiet about it. Everyones situation is so different. I happen to think that not everything in the world has the solution we want to have. Thats just the reality of it. Or do you say that these REALITIES of some people are a horrible thing to say. Cause you cant acfept its possibility. Way to deny peoples problems.

[@kdelka81]

@@aj-sz8mu You are making an argument I am not making. I never said your feelings/mental health don't matter. It's a nuanced discussion point that shouldn't be left at "It's exhausting caring for a depressed person." It's irresponsible and unthoughtful of everyone.

[@AlexandraBolz]

I'm an Alexandra myself and I have bad depression and I have had suicidal thoughts before too. It hurts seeing these parents in pain and heartbroken.

[@Cupcake40]

How are you now sweetheart? I hope you a doing well❤️

[@AlexandraBolz]

@@Cupcake40 I'm doing a little bit better but still dealing with loneliness

[@titilolaayetigbo8033]

@@AlexandraBolz pls keep fighting. Don’t give up. Talk to someone. We love you

[@Cupcake40]

@@AlexandraBolz I hope you find a good outlet, try a new hobby just to get your mind on something else. I’m wishing the best for you my dear, sending huge virtual hugs! 🫂you keep hanging in here!

[@Niagarapopo7.]

Depression is very scary. I battled depression for years and it was horrible.. Your mind fights to die while your body fights to live. It’s like you’re trapped behind millions of doors not knowing which door is the one to true happiness… It true what they say, “The people who smile the brightest and laugh the hardest are the ones who are the saddest and yearn for the pain to go away.”

[@traciandrews5770]

I saw the stars, I saw the moon...makes me cry

[@blackestcat1111]

TL Andrews yes ❤

[@davenc8527]

As the father of a 17 year old daughter who is a great student, I thank Alexandra's parents for the courage to speak out to others. God Bless them.

[@johannessguten2527]

I don’t think it’s worth it

[@j.3779]

Who cares if she is a great student?? No one. In the end it doesn't even matter. Be proud of something else than stupid grades

[@thishere9839]

@@j.3779 Exactly. As long as you're a good person it doesn't matter what you achieve.

[@baazinews1027]

Hi sir, do u have any life advice. I'm in my late 20's struggling alone for the last 12 years. I'm not able to manage life or things. You got any advice to on how to manage life.

[@J-sv9dp]

@@j.3779I think you are missing the point... Many resources describe things such as educational disengagement, slipping grades and general underachievement as classic signs of depression, without acknowledging that some people simply do not show the commonly known “classic signs” at all. Many people are unaware of just how unhappy seemingly happy and perhaps academically gifted people can be underneath all the smiles and laughter. Some people are unusually sensitive to the extent that they may feel that it is their duty to avoid burdening other people with their inner misery, and so the misery continues until they just can’t take it any more and figure others will be better off without them. These people can all too easily slip through the net without anybody even realising that anything is seriously wrong. The point is: depression is complex and can affect anybody, including those who might not typically be considered particularly at risk. That is why it is so important to reach out to everybody, not just those who seem troubled on the outside.

[@AfraidMonsters]

During the happy birthday singing I could see there was sadness on her face. I’m sorry such a beautiful person was lost to this cruel world.

[@stormyalice]

I'm in my early 30's but have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since middle school. It's hard and it's a challenge everyday to find some anchor to keep you grounded. I use my pets- especially since I live on my own (and have since I was 17.) If it weren't for them, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here. I have medical issues, no insurance, struggle to work and live paycheck to paycheck. I'm done with this life. It's not fair. But I want to be here to take care of my cats because I don't think others would.

[@j.3779]

Same. Stay strong. Ur cats need you.. So do my dogs.

[@m3kbeatz]

Same. I am in early 40. Same story same health problems. I am thinking to get a dog. I really dont know what ppl see in this life. What is so special?

[@cathymartin777]

Parents nowadays seem more concerned with social status than the mental status of their kids and that is the reason you have such a high suicide rate among teens. I'm not being malicious bc I have had someone commit suicide but had I looked deeper and ask more questions that person may still be here

[@salmandrame4280]

Cathy Martin only care when it’s beneficial for them

[@carmenl163]

Do you think these parents were like that?

[@lilith-4687]

True

[@tarantulabunnydog]

I struggled with depression for a long time until I finally got proper treatment, learned that I had value in the world, and now have a joyful peaceful life. My parents just had no idea how to help me...they thought I was fine as long as I got good grades and was achieving. They didn’t realize that I only thought I would be good enough to live if I was perfect. An impossible feat. It’s too much to bear for anyone. I wish I had understood that back then.

[@sierrachoco5271]

I don't really think anyone is to blame. There is that one moment in time where you just had enough and end it - it's that specific moment.

[@barnabascollins4625]

I lost my sister to suicide my heart goes out to you both

[@sharonbaulch]

So sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my brother and his son a year later. There is a part of your sibling within you and it's so precious,cherish your memories.❤️

[@barnabascollins4625]

@@sharonbaulch ♥️

[@leoalbppri80]

My condolences

[@amcbride710]

alexandra went to my highschool i didn’t know her personally but my school since then has become very serious about suicide and depression, they do depression screenings a few times a year! rip alexandra 🕊

[@latinasawntop]

watching this made my stomach turn. In 2018 i lost my little sister who was 11 to suicide after losing a battle to depression and anxiety. Every morning I wake up and can’t help but blame myself because I missed those signs. She didn’t come out of her room for atleast 2 weeks, and little did I know that was because my poor baby was suffering and couldn’t take it no more :( please check up on your loved ones everyone, even if they show the happiest sides of themselves, because even behind a smile could lay hurt.

[@minilamma4879]

11??? That was young.. Rest in peace your little sister. She was a battler, you can't be blamed for not seeing the sign

[@latinasawntop]

@@minilamma4879 yes :( around when she first turned 11 she got diagnosed with depression, but she had it very minor, and it wasn’t till just before she turned 12 that like I said, she started staying her room for weeks straight and would refuse to come out.. so even that there makes me sad that I didn’t notice :/

[@wildswan221]

If she was prescribed psych meds, many of those lead to suicide in children/teens. They were never tested on that age group properly. I am so sorry that you lost her.

[@idktbh.2421]

@@latinasawntop that's terrible, I'm so sorry :(

[@kingofswing3000]

I was a straight A student. My folks used to reward me for good report cards. I got a B in 4th grade. I cried. Then my parents rewarded me more for the B. They taught me that life isn't perfect and Bs and Cs and even Fs would happen in life. So I always strived to do well. And I still do. But I learned early on that life will kick you in the teeth every day. That's life. It sucks. But you cry and move through it. Work through the pain. Life doesn't get better or easier. But you do get stronger. You can make it as long as you keep your eye on the prize, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep plowing ahead.

[@frankie1012]

kingofswing3000 😪 excellent advice

[@vivaciousmyosotis]

I strive to parent like your parents when I have children of my own

[@itsarali]

What is there to keep plowing ahead for if life doesn’t get better?

[@user-of2hm4yz6h]

@@itsarali it will get better. I promise

[@paulinarios3665]

Nice parenting... they gave you a preview of life and that’s good

[@patricke8627]

“Cars kept driving by.” That’ cuts deep.

[@cooleenw]

I drove by it I saw a body bag and I thought it was a motorcycle accident

[@Phospoppylickalick]

I heard someone's therapist once say "suicide ends your pain, but starts another pain for someone else"

[@brandondaniels2198]

Well that person has no business being a therapist.

[@thetruthwillsetyoufree855]

"It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society". You can tell she was a beautiful soul who was too good for this place. I hope the parents find comfort in knowing that.

[@shana2712]

Yes. In Kabbalah (as taught by Rav Michael Laitman) they teach that our world needs to change. That we can use the wisdom of the Kabbalah to help us change ourselves .

[@MotorcyclePhaedrus]

The young see through our hypocricy i think, they sense it. These parents dont get it, CBS doesnt get it. Dont underestimate our youngsters, i think thats the take home. Ive felt it all my life, the unsustainability of modern society and the over emphasis on sucsess and competition. "leave them kids alone".

[@arytonandretti3785]

spot on i think depression is side effect of intelligence and understanding too well how the world works

[@stillwavesmusic8854]

@@arytonandretti3785 i agree not to be boastful or anything but I've always just seemed to think on a deeper level and see things a way others when I try to explain it to them have no idea what I'm talking about and it's it's very deep thinking that has been part in what has lead me into this existential dread, can't even explain to my family what's in my head they think they understand but don't

[@stillwavesmusic8854]

@@arytonandretti3785 honeslty just wish I could have a simple mind

[@fearless4371]

My sister took her life January 26,2023. She was on antidepressant. My changed for the worst when she started taking the antidepressant. She the isolated herself even more. She decided the only way out was by taking all the antidepressants she had. My sister was in the Marine Corps she was a high achiever also she a a beautiful son. Why?

[@the.seagull.35]

I'm sorry 😔 how are you doing

[@Brackish09]

I’m sorry for your loss. Certain types of medication can do that to you. I wish your sister peace, and you yourself

[@gregorteply9034]

She didn't left any pills? How greedy of her.

[@seph4667]

Life is tough. If a person chooses to leave, respect their choice.

[@ryanwaidalowski9221]

I am so sorry . I have three kids 16,14 and a 9 year old boy and I always wonder if they are really happy or what's really going on in their life. Love your kids and tell them how wonderful they are every day . And for other kids if you see other kids being left out or alone don't think their weird just say hi or ask them to come sit with you . It could make a huge difference in their day or life.

[@lilyp6949]

Oh my god, I am 16, my sister is 14 and my lil brother is 9 WTF ARE YOU MY MUM LMAOOO

[@redlilly2584]

Hahhahaha

[@lusio2515]

@@lilyp6949 hahhahaha

[@veprezo9043]

I don't want to die. But I'm in so much debt it's driving me crazy please pray for me😥

[@ManiacalViolet]

@@veprezo9043 You are not alone. Capitalism is the problem and it is NOT YOUR FAULT that you are struggling.

[@alexisk360]

“I was just hoping for warmth. Do you know what I mean? But there was no warmth. It was done” I felt the pain in his voice.... my heart hurts

[@takethisguntandshoveit]

I read my youngest daughter’s journals periodically, throughout her teen years. It was something I did because I worked with suicidal people daily at my job, and knew that statistically, my daughter was at risk. It helped her, knowing that I cared enough about her, to check in on her, and talk with her about her journal entries. My heart goes out to this family. I know that their daughter died years ago, but she seems to have left so many unanswered questions.

[@thecasualchic]

To anyone struggling- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You can get through it. It may not seem like it now, but PLEASE PLEASE STAND. You are loved. ❤

[@choukoooo]

it hits me when i see her journal look very similiar to mine. she's been holding on so much. no one really deserve the pain depression gave. sending hug for everyone hurting rn.

[@water3252]

hey, i hope you’re okay and still holding up 💛

[@TearsofRainbow01]

And this is a prime example that even though people may look happy and successful and always bright....there might be a dark and depressing side to them and no matter how much you talk to them or how well you know them they know how to hide....

[@katherineellen3215]

TearsofRainbow01 very true...

[@rick3747]

I am 57. I was neglected and raped from 1973-1978. It severely affected my mental health and physical health. I am 100% determined to live the longest and healthiest that I can. I still have passive and active sucicidal ideation to this day. Depression, anxiety, dissociation all have been horrible. Prayers, forgiveness and a superb therapist who is now like a family member, have helped me a lot too. I eat well and I have kicked the alcohol and horrible psych drugs too(took me 3 years to taper off with the help of my awesome family physican). BTW, Your thoughts, actions and diet have a profound effect on your body. You are your own best doctor and remember, you hire your medical experts. If you do not think they are doing their best for you, then seek second and maybe third opinions. Be well and enjoy within reason each day like it is your last day. RIP Alexandra❤

[@NoName-mr8tr]

Such a beautiful soul in that young lady, absolutely heart breaking to see such a bright light that this world so desperately needs gone. I have a teenage daughter who deals with depression and I simply couldn't imagine the pain these parents feel. May God bless this family & may this beautiful angel rest in peace

[@anastasiaproft6295]

My parents where that oblivious too. Then i told them and they sayed they where disapointed in me and how i dare could be depressed because my Life is great.

[@mintwilliams4070]

Stay strong, i'll pray for you. Cry when you feel like it, get help if you feel the need to, you're doing a great work by keep breathing every second. You're doing a good job by fighting your depression. Life is unpredictable. Keep fighting, who knows? Maybe life are turning you into heroes that one day, you'll be able to reach out to others who in the same state and proudly tell the world how you survive.

[@sharoncrawford3042]

Doesnt matter if life is great. Depression can be a chemical imbalance in the brain. No one can help that. People do not have any idea if they have never experienced it.

[@LoveAddictionRecoveryCoach]

Picachix - That was a sick response by your parents- you were vulnerable, and what you deserved was a loving caring response, instead you got a response (undeserving)they personalized and felt like a failure; this is not your fault nor responisbility, it is theirs (aren't they the adults). Know you deserved compassion. You are not a disappointment when you share soemthing vulnerable, never accept it and see people who respond like this as "they are very insecure within and this is not about me"

[@mebcn5850]

I totally understand you! My pare ts do day the same to me! And nos am 41 years old,

[@Vic-hy4tb]

It is difficult for people understand depression. They can' t understand it. See a doctor please.

[@Shay_TheUnpopularOpinion_]

She didn’t die in vain at all! Her story is so touching and it’s so painful to see her smile knowing she was in so much pain! I understand how that feels , it’s insurmountable! Depression is real and we just numb ourselves and smile , but on the inside it HURTS SO MUCH! Rip Alexandria 👼🙏🏽💜

[@dalegilliland5929]

Clinical depression is the worst. I've had it my whole life

[@ianmounts1869]

So sorry for everyone in this story, thank you for highlighting and humanizing problems that where ignored in the past.

[@underthestarsoverthemoon4259]

She grew up wanting to be perfect with everything she’s done so every little thing that wasn’t “perfect” to her, she beat herself up about it. 😞 R.I.P. sweetie

[@nikeyaa2614]

I hate how after someone commits suicide the family claims they were good to her and that she was happy and successful, like CLEARLY something was wrong, otherwise she would still be here. I just wish they would be honest and explore her reason for why she did it.

[@Z_ayy]

As a straight A all honors student I really felt this video. I’ve thought about suicide so many times because I’ve been so sick and tired of being perfect. I’m tired of stressing out over every little thing. But no one would believe me if I told them, just because I get good grades. And if you get good grades I guess that means that you can’t have anything wrong with you.

[@akat3628]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. Please know that you are so much more than your achievements and you are a worthwhile person simply by existing. I hope that you can find an adult that you can trust to talk to about this. If someone invalidates you then they are not the right person to talk to. These feelings and thoughts can change but only if you stay around and work through them. Things can look very different a year from now. I wish you well.

[@xKellogsx]

my deepest deepest condolences to this (still) lovely family. I can feel their pain so strongly through their speech, it brought me to tears. She seems like she was such an awesome kid. I have absolutely zero doubt you will see her again and all will be answered. Keep doing what you are doing and being the wonderful parents you are.

[@joshua_sykes]

To the Valoras family, Thank you for opening up and sharing Alexandra's story

[@hypnotherapy69]

I'm not really sure they shared hers... Their story of loosing a daughter yes, but not hers.

[@miryamishot]

I have my daughter see a psychologist. I didn’t think she was that depressed but I do see it now. Sometimes you just need help. It’s ok to ask for help. And it’s ok to not always be perfect.

[@frankie1012]

Miryam Hernandez yes. Good for you. Such stigma regarding mental health.

[@Joeladgra]

It reminds me of my now 35 year old daughter. When she was 16, she was always so happy but there was a hunch that something could be wrong I can’t explain the feeling. She went with friends one night and had a get together and it was my chance to look around her room and found a journal also. I was shocked and almost didn’t recognize that this was how she was feeling. I went into mission of doing whatever possible I could for her to survive that roller coaster age. She made it and went on to marry and have her own child. That changed her perspective in life. It must have given her a reason to continue her life. To this day, I am very active in making sure that she doesn’t go into deep depression again. It’s so hard. I never can be off guard even to this day 20 years later. 😢

[@the.seagull.35]

🤝 hey I'm 35 myself and I've had thoughts like this in the past. For me the last thing I'd want is for my parents to live in constant anxiety because of me. I know they've worried a lot about me before, and it genuinely would cause me pain to think about it. I think at 35, as a fully grown adult my choices are my own. I'm responsible for my actions, whether good or bad. My mom has always been a good support, she's there for me. But she knows its up to me to decide what I do. And she's seen me get better over the years... she's always going to be my Mom and worry about me but she has good reason to be hopeful about me. and from my own perspective, only Jesus is the Savior, not me. I can't take on the responsibility of saving someone's soul. only Christ can do that. He died for my sins and rose again. With Him in control of all things I know I can trust God to take care of me and my family. I just have to let God be God. Philippians‬ ‭4:6‭-‬7‬ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ✝️

[@Joeladgra]

@@the.seagull.35 Thank you for this wonderful message. I really appreciate it. I sent her name to all churches I know and even overseas all the way to Jerusalem for prayers as I know the power of prayer. Deep inside I knew the Lord have already answered before I asked. I had so much undeterred faith in Him! God bless you! 🩷

[@pennybenton5607]

As the Mother of a suicide attempt survivor, I feel for this family and anyone struggling. 🙏

[@stephenchristian3636]

Mental illness is real. Pray for me guys. I'm currently contemplating suicide. I suffer from Clinical Depression/anxiety

[@hattieinthehat4876]

things will get better. And even though I don't know you, I love you ♥️

[@lalla1262]

I know you are a awesome and beautiful person, so, please,don't do it. You can make a huge difference in this world because nobody is just like you. Listen I am 19 old girl, maybe a suicide surviver cause in my middle school and high school I was always bullied and for this reason I feel you. You are such a great human being and you deserve only the best

[@stephenchristian3636]

@@lalla1262 Thanks so much God bless

[@nekodragon1249]

Lighting a candle on your behalf. I may not know you or never meet but you are loved probably more than you realize. Hugz

[@stephenchristian3636]

@@nekodragon1249 Thank cuz lord knows I was gonna end my life a few days ago

[@gelbweisslilaschwarz]

Journals are helping to clear your head. But I would recomment a second journal where you only right down positive quotes, lyrics, write about good things, and at least one thing you are grateful that day. Make it two and then add more things. You need to program your brain to good and positive thoughts. Stop punishing yourselfs. Life is already hard enough

[@queenmisanthrope]

queer boii I keep a journal of all the good things that happen to me throughout the day and I plan on doing that for the rest of my life.

[@alinatheresa702]

❤️

[@allengina1091]

Yes, your right i did it.

[@catia4908]

this is such a good idea, thank you

[@yuckyducky1701]

I write whatever I think that time and never read then again... it just helps me I feel that I'm freed

[@John-xq4xb]

Thank you for sharing this story, everybody wants to say that they want to recognize mental health but then no one is there to help when you go to get help. I’m so sorry for your loss but the battlefield of the mind is real

[@ddajani45]

Chemical and hormonal changes especially at that age are terrible..I remember being that age its not easy ..im sorry for this loss may she rest in peace

[@immkenisha]

depression makes you tired of life. no matter how many accomplishments you make, you lose everything. you lose your smile, you laugh, and you strength. i was lucky enough to get through but many do not. many cannot take it and just leave. everyone experiences depression differently but i realize that a lot of us teens laugh, smile, and speak like our normal selves but on the inside we are dying. praying for this family, their story will stick with me.

[@SteelRhinoXpress]

sometimes the most happiest people that you run across in life can be the most depressed people behind closed doors.

[@maryrobie4752]

I'm so very sorry for their loss. Depression is very real and so misunderstood.

[@potter5647]

I want to understand it, let me understand please!

[@emilyhedrick2851]

This hits hard. It hits especially hard knowing that she felt like she couldn't talk about it. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety not too long ago after going to therapy for help. I was dealing with some intensive symptoms, including dark intrusive thoughts, and I didn't know why because they didn't make sense. I'm so glad that I told my parents and got help and that I'm recovering so well, and I hope that others dealing with mental health struggles will feel less alone and tell someone that they need help. Recovery is possible, and it is worth it, not matter what happens to you before, during, and after the healing process. It can take time, but there's no rush. You have to heal at your own pace in order for it to last. My heart goes out to Alexandra's family and every family who has lost someone to suicide. I know Alexandra loved you very much.

[@virgohottie7018]

Her journals remind me of my younger year journals.. I’m 27 now but man, I got a flash back. It was like reading my own diaries... so sad poor girl.