Parents stress me out... and it shows in their surgery

#parents #stress #mentalhealthmatters
Parental stress is serious and impacts my patients in surgery. Learn how to identify these stressors and what to do about them!
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This video/speech/channel DOES NOT CONSTITUTE MEDICAL ADVICE. Patients with medical concerns should contact their physician. If your concern is an emergency, immediately call 911. This information is not a recommendation for ANY THERAPY. Some substances referenced in this content may be illegal, and this content is not a recommendation for, or endorsement of, their use in any way.

[@DeathImpacto]

I would love to know how psychological stress can effect the heart as much as a run on the treadmill, I am a curious bean

[@vincentkingsdale8334]

It can be worse. Panic attacks can trigger a heart rate of 80-90% of max heart rate. Feelings of impending doom, constant stress from family, work, lack of work, also raise cortisol levels which is released by the adrenal glands in a "fight or flight" episode. These episodes can be prolonged. The stress also causes inflammation, over time causing damage to the arteries of the heart and brain. This can lead to a heart attack or stroke. Your immune system can suffer as well due to prolonged stress. Look up videos about stress and effects on health

[@DeathImpacto]

@@vincentkingsdale8334 he was telling us to let him know if we wanted a video of that, so this was my encouragement, thanks though

[@vincentkingsdale8334]

@@DeathImpacto I heard that as I was typing. As a doctor and one who experiences stress quite often, I figured I would give you a very basic answer. I would like his take on it too.

[@DeathImpacto]

@@vincentkingsdale8334 I see, certainly not mad about an early response, lol

[@rsh793]

@@DeathImpacto sounds like you need the video :)

[@Sushi2735]

You would have loved our family. When our 13 yr needed emergency brain surgery, we all acted like she was going to the dentist and stayed completely calm. Even when walking with her to the OR. She loved the “Whooie” meds they gave her prior to surgery. Once she was in surgery we were put in a private family room where we just went to bits. We hadn’t had time to absorb it in the two days since we were told. Fortunately she didn’t remember that first week in ICU in the children’s hospital. We were bound and determined not to make the doctors or ourselves nuts, She 22 now, just graduated from the University of Toronto. A smart beautiful young woman, We, aged twenty yrs. But she’s great. That’s all that matters 💕

[@MedicalSecrets]

I'm so sorry to hear about what you all had to go through, but I am grateful that everything turned out okay 🙏

[@carolgibson-wilson4354]

My eldest was diagnosed with the same tumor that killed her daddy, my husband. I lied, telling her it was a 1, 2, 3 operation. She turns 55 in early March. She can see and walk and is a mom herself.

[@Sushi2735]

@@carolgibson-wilson4354 OMG, how wonderful your precious girl survived and thrived AND made you a grandma! Life can throw us some curve balls, but I don’t think there is anything better than someone’s child healing and living. My very deep condolences on the loss of your dear husband. But ever so thankful you still have your girl and grandchildren.

[@Sushi2735]

@@MedicalSecrets , thank you. What does not break us makes us so much stronger and much more empathetic to the struggles of others 💕

[@sherilynn1310]

The self control involved in not going to bits in the presence of your daughter--whew! That has to be a genetic trait that you inherited from ancestors who made it through crises with what the French call sang-froid. You hold it together as long as necessary--TWO DAYS! That's amazing to me. I don't have that. Mostly I fall apart when I have to wait for a crisis to mature! So glad your daughter did well.

[@janeschreiner5000]

I cannot think of many reasons to drink alcohol that aren't self-medicating. I worked in a chemical dependency until and quit drinking myself when I realized that. Humming helps stress.

[@MedicalSecrets]

Yes! Humming can slow down exhalation, similar to other stress relieving breathing techniques

[@jmc8076]

🙌 Agree. Still a drug (as is caffeine) just a legal and more socially acceptable one esp in some cultures. Sad as many don’t get help due to this IMO. Best wishes

[@vincentkingsdale8334]

Punching a body bag as a workout helps reduce stress too

[@paisleyjane9606]

At first glance, I thought you were going to talk about dealing with parents whose children were having surgery. That topic could be interesting too.

[@wendydomino]

I'm not a parent but I don't think that parents who are worried about waking up are accusing you ahead of time. They're just worried about the risks of surgery and probably just need to be reassured.

[@janeschreiner5000]

I just had surgery on my hand. I advocated for what was in my best interests and was told by the surgeon that I was a difficult patient in front of his medical staff. I was humiliated and crushed. I was crying as they wheeled me into the OR. I don't even want to follow up with him to have pins taken out.

[@lesa2094]

What a jerk!

[@juliewander3234]

no kidding

[@sherilynn1310]

You have to have the pins out! Now that the worst is behind you, you need to get another surgeon to do that when it's time. Don't trust your health again to a guy who is emotionally a 19-year-old Dairy Queen manager, whose best management tool is humiliation of employees and customers alike. Bah. Some people get far more responsibility than they can handle. Best wishes Jane.

[@janeschreiner5000]

@@sherilynn1310 ❤️ I won't be flying the friendly skies with that “airline” again for sure.

[@suebissell6717]

My fil was having a heart attack and was so scared to go into the hospital that he drank a lot waiting for his son to come get him.

[@garyfrechette8689]

Hi Doc. Love your videos. I've had a few surgeries in my life, from removing a brain tumor and most recently a prostatectomy. I've always gone into surgery with a sense of humor. Even telling jokes to the anesthesiologist. One time i told half a joke and let them know they have to bring me back intact in order to get the punch line. And they did, and i gave them the punch line post-surgery. I try to have fun with the process. After the prostatectomy, when they were wheeling me to my room, we passed a waiting room full of people, and i exclaimed, 'wow, a welcoming committee'. I'm not sure those folks appreciated my sense of humor. Have a great day!

[@MedicalSecrets]

I love your attitude! I hope the surgery recoveries went well

[@larameem7104]

I’d LOVE to hear more about how chronic stress adversely affects health. Pretty please!

[@MedicalSecrets]

These are very good questions, have you seen my video on this?

[@KSDVLmom]

Funny timing for me since I'm a single mom and Nana to 9 about to get a C1 to T1 fusion. Everyone is worried about me cuz I take care of everyone but I'm extremely calm person. Hope I don't get accused of drinkng and taking drugs lol

[@MedicalSecrets]

I'm wishing you the best for your surgery!

[@sherilynn1310]

Whew. That's a BIG fusion. Wishing you well. (C6-C7, L5-S1--they're definitely nothing compared to yours!)

[@KSDVLmom]

@@sherilynn1310 I know. I told my internist that I want a second opinion which I'm going for today, cuz I haven't found ANYBODY that's had a total neck fusion. She's like so looking it up lol her and her husband both used this Dr recently for fusion and she's like, your neck is really really bad. Don't fear. I have a only one half disc left in between 5 and 6 the rest is already natural fused

[@sherilynn1310]

@@KSDVLmom It sure sounds like you need something pretty drastic. Naturally fused makes me wonder if it fused badly? I wish I could know how it's going for you. It sounds like the only thing a second opinion could do is find a possibly less invasive option? Maybe? Here's hoping it comes out as well as it possibly can!

[@poepflater]

I've taken my daughter for surgery... She was 7, tonsil and adenoids removal, as she had hearing problems, as well as grommets fitted. Children have no concept of what these things are so I put my calmest most ag this is just normal, face on, while I walked with her to the OR.... Inside I was shot mess...but nobody could tell...That is what being a man is about. See the patient who says "don't mess up" simply as the opposite of the one signing DNR. I'm going to be an arsetronought tomorrow... colonoscopy at 8:15am

[@Straighttalk95]

It’s so strange even in my dreams i am so stressed! I see myself just running away from everyone 😂 i wake ip feeling like i have ran a marathon! 🏃‍♀️

[@juliewander3234]

how awful!

[@paulacoyle5685]

Wish I had caught it live - astronauts get soft bones. It’s the phenomenon of anti fragility

[@cherylkat2342]

I have both knees legs messed up they lock up I have to use hand to move them one I can understand I shattered it up lower knee. Iwas suppose to have 2 surgeries after it healed . I didn’t I can still walk with walker .afraid my aunt was my age shenever walked again . Plus all the ones at our church who have it done there good for a year if that long then they can barely walk.

[@sherilynn1310]

We're getting older, and therefore worse candidates for surgery, but as time passes the procedures get better. They can do stuff through the tiniest of incisions now. It's amazing. I have three tiny clawmarks on my left shoulder and they did remarkable things rebuilding it, everything short of replacing the joint, and I tell people it was a young mountain lion that did it. :) Check back in with your orthopedic surgeon (specializing in the knee) and find out if there are better, cheaper, less invasive procedures now that you can heal from faster and end up with better mobility. That walker is stealing health from you...if you could walk without it, and without pain, you will live longer and in better shape! Wishing you the best Cheryl!

[@chrismann6290]

I have pain. My knee is messed up!! My anxiety is sky rocket high. You are so informative on this subject. The mind and body are connected!!😢

[@MedicalSecrets]

I'm so sorry to hear about your knee pain. You're absolutely spot on about the connection

[@Jen_385]

My oldest son was oddly calm. And when I would ask how...he said I trust you and dad and you trust the Dr so I trust the Dr. Simple answer.

[@cnlights2]

I've been my folks' caretaker for the past 6 months by myself. It's been incredibly difficult. But I'll tell ya - smoking a j before bedtime or after extremely stressful situation- helps alot. I always felt going into surgery was like a brief vacation😉😂

[@htmc2022]

Took care of mother to age 90 at her place & Mother-in-law lived with us to age 101.5 - our life was just taking one or the other to a myriad of Dr Appt’s & Lab Tests & Hosp surgeries, etc. Years & years of stress with no break - sorry you are going through all that. Our reward - we both developed serious medical issues and they are ruining our retirement - wanted to travel but can’t. Take care of yourself. We skipped our own Appt’s if they conflicted with mothers’ - don’t do that! You have to try to keep yourself healthy! All the best! ❤

[@cnlights2]

@htmc2022 I've already had 3 heart attacks. It wouldn't be so bad if they'd show some gratitude. The disrespect just buries you. Doing what you did is like having 3 full time jobs with no benefits, no pay (although I've heard medicaid does pay for hhc) and no time for yourself. I guess the time spent doing it could be considered Christ-like (if ya know what I mean. He didn't get a break either) or blessing but i see my life slipping away and wasted.

[@cnlights2]

@htmc2022 you tc too! That goes for all care givers. You need time for yourself. 'Steal' it if you have to.

[@htmc2022]

@@cnlights2 wow - you’re so right! I tried to rationalize the insults away thinking they are old and in pain and didn’t sleep well but the verbal abuse is the worst thing about caring for the elderly! My M-I-L was bad enough but my own mother - she played some dastardly tricks - I’d say “After all I’ve done for you!” The stress of it all is so much that I am not surprised you have had heart attacks! So sorry - I used to go to the Y - pager in locker and work off the stress - leave my hubby to deal with M-I-L and hopefully siblings would take mothers calls. You got to go AWOL for a bit or you’ll go crazy - go sit by the lake and let the waves soothe you! Took care of M-I-L for 20years - went into terrible depression when it was all over because lost my purpose in life! Please care for yourself - you’re no good to anyone else if you’re in ICU!

[@dzymslizzy3641]

Your 2 arrows/darts analogy reminds me of another such philosophy; this one from Native American tradition. There are 2 wolves inside you. A benevolent one, and a mean one. Which one will survive? The one you feed. I suppose the 'need' for stress stems from some shots of adrenaline it provides, which can keep you focused and alert. (But too much of a good thing is a bad thing.)

[@MedicalSecrets]

Very, very well said!

[@SanOKeefe]

Thank you for being here. I am thinking about this and how to respond without fear.🙏

[@MedicalSecrets]

I hope you learned something new to advocate for your health 🙏

[@marshajanulis6092]

This was a great video, thank you Dr Kaveh.

[@MedicalSecrets]

You're welcome! I hope you learned something new to advocate for your health 🙏

[@darriontunstall3708]

Great live stream man, I learned a lot, about stress, I don’t have stress! I really enjoy donating to the anesthesiologist Foundation, since it was hard for me to go to college because of my cerebral palsy, I really wanted to be a anesthesiologist , I could handle the stress of anesthesiologist it’s not stressful to me! It takes a special person to be an anesthesiologist or CRNA and you’re one of them, I look up to all anesthesiologist and CRNA! You rock! You been hocking loogies?😂! You’re right anesthesiologist and CRNA run the show, it’s very important but a fun job!!!

[@MedicalSecrets]

Great to see you!

[@darriontunstall3708]

@@MedicalSecrets you welcome!!

[@lillyfair8816]

Nice you support anesthesiologists! Could you explain the hocking loogies reference? 50 yrs ago when I was a school kid, hocking loogies meant spitting at someone. Maintained the same meaning for decades (reg: Seinfeld "Magic Loogie" episode). Are you suggesting the doctor is spitting at people or has the phrase since acquired a new meaning? Just curious.

[@darriontunstall3708]

@@lillyfair8816 thanks, and hocking loogies means coughing up mucus and it doesn’t mean spitting on people 😂, hocking loogies is a guy thing lol

[@cherylkat2342]

Hello hope you had a blessed day !😊

[@MedicalSecrets]

Thank you!

[@bernardofitzpatrick5403]

Wow! Nice to hear you remind us of the “two darts” metaphor! Very Buddhist 👍 Interesting to hear about stress and immune system.

[@MedicalSecrets]

They are VERY tightly linked! It sounds like I need a dedicated video on this

[@bernardofitzpatrick5403]

@@MedicalSecrets yes , please do one 💯

[@disqusrubbish5467]

My mother had me when she was 45, and lived several years beyond 100. I knew the astronaut answer but was in surgery when it was asked. I have a few things to say about it, but I'll try and find the appropriate video to comment. (Home now doing well...)

[@bdogg20101]

I think healthcare workers can be worse. They usually make the worst patients.

[@sherilynn1310]

I just had surgery, and they had to put me on the ventilator on 100% O2, which seems rather drastic to me. They put you in restraints so you don't pull the tube out. I'd have promised anything (including, "I won't pull the tube out") if I could have spoken, to get those restraints off. It was terrifying. I had delusions and hallucinations, complex and scary, mostly involving the ceiling I had to stare at, and my father had had the same thing after his last surgery. The restraints were awful. I gather that they want you sedated like the Three Bears oatmeal, not too little, not too much. The whole experience taught me a lot about myself (including, I do NOT like restraints! and, sometimes, all you can do is just decide to go to sleep!) but I would not do it again for anything. I don't know if you read these but please if you do, comment about restraints and ventilation and the scary experiences that can go along with being awake under sedation. Or whatever the **** they were giving me....

[@mhenderson9311]

I agree restraints are horrible! So they don't want you to fall off the table. And here I was thinking they were afraid I was going to try to hit the anesthesiologist? Silly me, I did try to test the restraints and they held strong. I really don't want to disclose the other thoughts running through my head at that time. Afraid I'd end up in a psych ward after the operation if I did! Lol.

[@sherilynn1310]

@@mhenderson9311 I'm sure they had to do that to me as part of saving my life. But I am scarred inside, even though I was sedated enough to go to sleeo despite great fear.

[@tori8380]

I’m a parent. What’s wrong?

[@cherylkat2342]

They know I have allergy to dye ! They put it in my stomach they say it won’t hurt me if not put in iv. I got so sick at stomach had diarrhea for 4 days every few min. Trying to puke still sick at stomach It was up in tube. I did itch after they put it in but I didn’t say anything is that dangerous.

[@sherilynn1310]

Terrible. We get so intimidated that we don't say anything. I had an IV last year of Remdesivir.* INSTANT feeling of doom, shaking, feeling I was blowing up, powerful itching sensation of mouth, nose, my entire circulatory system--I could feel the vein it was going into getting HUGE all of a sudden as if trying to get away from the stuff. I said "Turn that off, please!" but without enough emphasis because the nurse hesitated and said "It's for your Covid, you need--" and then I said with every possible ounce of desperation in me, "OH you need to TURN THAT OFF it is going to KILL me!!! Something is really wrong!!!!" and before I could start wailing he did turn it off. Relief from every symptom began to kick in. Skin that had turned very very red, even purple, began to fade again in a few minutes, and then I turned gray, and whew. It was such a relief to have that intense feeling go away. If that's what severe allergies feel like, wow. I never had a reaction like that before and will be so grateful if I never do again! *It's for Covid, an anti-viral, but I was probably getting it way late, as I was the only patient in the hospital coming down with it, and they thought it was just a cold, then just bronchitis, for a little bit too long.

[@mercedeswarrenash5929]

I may now be a medical Ali-corn Phoenix Dumpster fire of genetics and Trauma. My spine is a set of dominoes & after years of providing my spine isn’t not broken a specialist said if he touched it surgery wise it would collapse. I feel as if I have a knife in the FUBAR section of my spine & trying to dull the electrical storm in my carpal box😢🎉❤

[@jodyljohnson8515]

Hello there Dr Kaveh 👋 I actually enjoy being under anesthesia as it is a short time in my life that I don't worry about anything and have no pain! I don't have many procedures done, but when I do, it's "happy time!" 😁 The last time I had anything done, I used the breathing technique that you shared with us. Worked like a charm! Thank you for sharing all this wonderful information that helps us to be advocates for our own care! Much appreciated! Love ya Dr Kaveh 💞✌️

[@Sandra-vg1jn]

Doctor, please address physical stress, mental stress, cortisol levels, etc. I have been on high dose antidepressants for roughly 15 years, with no hope of stopping them, mainly due to three negative major life events. Because of sensitivities to changing medications in the past, I will never use cannabis or ketamine (no to ketamine because I cannot be that patient that has a “bad trip”). I am not a drinker, nor a smoker. My body has not tolerated different medications I have been given. One time while in the ER, I was given prednisolone, and had a quick and severe anaphylactic reaction. I remember the doctor being surprised and saying she had never seen that before. One of my life events is ongoing, with no end in sight. When something happens to remind me of that event, I feel as though someone punched me in the stomach. I don’t think it’s anxiety all that much, as it great sadness and hopelessness. People who don’t understand say things like “just get over it”. I truly wish I had that “something” that some people have, which enables them to weather the bad things in life. I feel like I have lost years of my life, because of being unable to live in the moment for so long. I don’t think I’m special and I am not wallowing in self pity, nor am I a drama queen. I have never expected life to be a bed of roses. I believe in God, but haven’t been able to find the solace to relieve my grief.

[@Lranee]

referring to astronauts needing stress, it reminded me of Disney film Wall•E how humans didn't have bones I need to watch that movie again I love it

[@climb_high_]

@MedicalSecrets Doctors stress me out especially after arthroscopic labrum repair with a rim trim that resulted with a error being made which left me with hip dysplasia. Sounds bad but I had to undergo a total hip replacement to correct the previous surgical error. A error was made during the total hip replacement which resulted with a leg length discrepancy and iliopsoas impingement after a total hip replacement. It took 9 years to rule everything else out to pinpoint the correct diagnosis. Associate professor of a medical school performed my hip replacement but yet made the error and denied it repeatedly. Are surgeons always deceptive and unable to admit they made a error that has prolonged the severe pain and suffering of their patient. Doctors like the 2 I had the unpleasant experiences with shouldn't be surgeons.

[@BeeWOWdbyAprilLee]

Thank you for everything you post. It's given me alot of info i find useful since i trend to have alot of procedures (that use some type of anesthesia or surgeries. I know that i can trust the information that you provide. I have a question im truly hoping you will answer. I have daily chronic pain which i take oxycodone for. I try to still take a med prior to a procedure even if i know ill be receiving some type of pain medication. Should i do that? Or will that create issues with the anesthesiologist figuring out the correct dose for my anesthesia?????

[@mhenderson9311]

You should be telling the anesthesiologist, or better still, the medical team should be asking you ahead of time, that is, at a pre-op clinic about your meds and if you can still take them or not. For example, I was told to taķe nothing. But if I had asked, I believe that Tylenol would have been ok, just not Advil.

I have always wondered. Are surgeries filmed? If something goes wrong or if patients want to know what happened during their surgery, is there a video that can be viewed? If so, are those surgeries videotaped used to train surgeons, beside participating in surgeries? Thanks

[@KxNOxUTA]

That would vastly differ depending on your country, hospital policy and even surgeons :'D

[@chrismann6290]

I am 77 and do not want surgery on my knee!!!

[@michelelindseth8250]

I am 77 and don't even want doctors anymore, but sometimes must.

[@chrismann6290]

@@michelelindseth8250 I know what u mean.

[@nickydaviesnsdpharms3084]

I once admittedly took around 25mg of oral Diazepam about 30 minutes before surgery and general anesthetic but wouldn't this compliment the drugs used in induction of anesthesia?

[@cindywells9119]

My grandfather was someone who understood before many the importance of stress on the healing process. Early on in his career as an orthopedic surgeon, he used to have conversations with people most orthopedists didn’t, in his case the bone setters that were ubiquitous as he was starting out his medical career. They impressed upon him how crucial the stress of gravity was on healing bone injuries, so as my grandfather was also a budding inventor, he went into his workshop and invented numerous “monkey ropes” traction devices for patients in the hospital who were incapable of being on their feet, or for bones that were less affected by gravity such as fingers. I was lucky enough to watch him at a medical convention trying to explain to the physicians the principles of physics involved, and why they were so crucial for healing.

[@Dennis_856]

I had an experience where the anesthesiologist came in with a couple different masks for the child to smell and ask him which one he liked. He picked the bubble gum one. Then when we ( they let me in for the sedation) got in the procedure ( he was being scoped 10yr old) and he put the mask on my child started fighting and I actually had to hold him down until hew went out. Very hard for me to do to my own child. Anyway, I asked him what the problem was when we got home and he said it didn't smell like bubble gum at all, it was yucky.

[@MedicalSecrets]

That is what we do with children, indeed

[@Sushi2735]

@@Dennis_856 bless you. A terrible experience for you both. How awful. I hope he is doing well, and you too. You just must have been a wreck.

[@dorenescrima5982]

Hi from Oregon

[@MedicalSecrets]

Hi back from SF Bay area!