Paris Paloma - Labour (Lyrics)

Paris Paloma - Labour (Lyrics)
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
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🎤 Lyrics "Paris Paloma - Labour"
Why are you hanging on
So tight
To the rope that I’m hanging from
Off this island
This was an escape plan
Carefully timed it
So let me go
And dive into the waves below
Who tends the orchards?
Who fixes up the gables
Emotional torture
From the head of your high table
Who fetches the water
From the rocky mountain spring
And walk back down again
To feel you words and their sharp sting
And I’m getting fucking tired
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
If our love ended, would that be a bad thing?
As the silence haunts our bed chamber
You make me do too much labour
Apologies from my tongue
Never yours
Busy lapping from flowing cup
And stabbing with your fork
I know you’re a smart man
And weaponise
The false incompetence
It’s dominance under guise
If we had a daughter
I’d watch and could not save her
The emotional torture
From the head of your high table
She’d do what you taught her
She’d meet the same cruel fate
So now I’ve gotta run
So I can undo this mistake
At least I’ve gotta try
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
For somebody I thought was my saviour
You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
If our love ended, would that be a bad thing?
As the silence haunts our bed chamber
You make me do too much labour
All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant
Just an appendage, live to attend him
So that he never lifts a finger
24/7 baby machine
So he can live out his picket fence dreams
It’s not an act of love if you make her
You make me do too much labour
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[@thevibeguide]

Where are you listening from? 🌎🌍🌏

[@vanderschyffveronica2004]

South Africa

[@ddelixatw]

italyy

[@MahaLakshmi-wn1fy]

singapore

[@ESMagicalChannel]

_Brazil!_ 🙋‍♀️🇧🇷

[@thedeeprot]

UK

[@randomheadful7190]

I’m older and divorced from an abusive man. I’m so appreciative of this generation of women for taking this on. Keep fighting. It’s the fight for your life!

[@katienielsen7715]

I'm sending you lots of healing, but most of all, love and light. ✨️💛✨️

[@Lulu-ju9ye]

We all fight this fight. We all fight.

[@bizarrebunny5579]

We fight each other’s fight together hand in hand

[@Lulu-ju9ye]

@@bizarrebunny5579 We are one and we are all.

[@sparkyFNaF]

​@@katienielsen7715 ❤

[@melb4250]

Dear dad, this one’s for you. Mom worked her fingers to the bone till death and you never appreciated her. Rest in heaven mom, you deserved the world.

[@Laurasophiesmith]

I‘m sorry for your loss, I hope you’re alright 💕

[@erikamiller272]

Many of us can relate... God bless your mother, she was so strong ❤️❤️

[@brodie-leighstark3415]

Your mum loves you 💗

[@Untied.Shoelaces]

My mother dated a man for 8 months at 17, her parents decided that they did not want to take care of her anymore and signed her off to marry him at 17. He was abusive to her, first it was verbally and then he got physical. He did things like hitting her randomly to ripping off her clothes because he did not like them. And during all of this she was still in school. She started to see a counselor that would come in for her, the counselor the. showed her the statistics that people (male or female) who want to marry before 1 or 2 years of dating is abusive, when my mother heard this everything started to make sense to her. She ended her first marriage off and divorced him but she did give birth to his child(my oldest sister let’s call her J). A year and a half later, my mother has been dating another man and gives birth to her second child (his first and my older sister and let’s call her A). She then married that same man who becomes the father to J (by adopting her).When A is four years old ,my mother announces that she will have another baby (AKA me). My mother has told each of us this story because she doesn’t want us to fall into her fate of abusive relationships. My mother is the strongest person in the world, I have no words to describe the relief that she made it out alive and the appreciation for what she sacrificed for us. And she is treated correctly by my dad, or else he would have three girls hunting him down 😂. I also understand how it feels to have someone close to you to die, what u can say is your mother is looking down at you from heaven and is proud

[@Bryna..]

The best part of this song it starts so soft but as it goes on, you hear the anger come out. The line about saving the daughter is haunting

[@katienielsen7715]

I bawled my eyes out while staring at my daughter watching her sleep while listening to that line.

[@danigodbout3306]

This is going to sound bad but im glad i had a miscarriage when i was with my abusive ex because if it was a girl, i wouldn't want her to go through what i did.

[@leahholaway9872]

I think it starts soft because we usually try telling the problem before we escalate.

[@randomheadful7190]

I saved my daughter hopefully before it was too late. He was a monster and didn’t deserve her precious soul in his life.

[@itiswhatitis1883]

Female rage at its finest

[@mahganwilson3543]

"false incompetence is dominance under guise" "it's not an act of love if you make her" some of the best written song lyrics I've ever heard. Powerful.

[@saladcaesar7716]

Sadly, weaponize incompetence is a thing. 😔

[@spectre9340]

I agree. Lots of women want to be doting housewives that do traditional housewife work. But if it's """expected""" then it's not exactly consensual on their part.

[@tauraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I know!!!! This song is so beautifully written with such powerful lyrics

[@nothuman3083]

Be me incompent man, be also me carrying girlfriend when she got to sick to walk and made her soup. I am dumb but my heart and back are strong. And all the others things around the house so she didn't worry.

[@honinakecheta601]

My dad would always do that: pretend he didn't know how to do something around the house in order to get my mom to do it, or pretend not to understand how his behavior could be perceived as insulting in order to not take accountability for what he did. The best decision my mom made was kicking him out, it was like a heavy shadow left our house and we were happier. We could talk, joke and laugh whiteout having to worry about him ruining our happiness

[@nopetheworld977]

this is my feminine rage song. i’ve grown up watching my mother carry our family on her back. my dad did work, he did. and im grateful for him. but my mom worked too- and then came home to take care of the house, the kids, the food, the laundry, the cleaning. i dont know how she did it for so long. for years. im so glad im an adult now so she can finally take a break and i can take care of her. the rage in me is against society, and myself who realized later than i should have and was brainwashed to thinking that this was normal, a given. it shouldnt be. ladies, women, girls- *it shouldnt be.*

[@kittydream_4717]

Exactly!

[@blinkeuisaswiftie8397]

That brainwashed part was so true, i was so convinced that it was normal but *it shouldn't be*

[@livvy.doodle]

​@@blinkeuisaswiftie8397 i feel you I was convinced that housework and cooking was a woman's job but it is equal work

[@shotoxx7608]

Let's talk about it, please allow me to add my two cents in this conversation. Maybe something to think about. First of all, I'm grateful that your emotional maturity doesn't release in a form of hatred towards your dad, but rather it releases as a form of compassion and sympathy for your mom that she wholeheartedly deserves. But maybe consider this: What if that was the life she wanted? And her reward is simply her children's acknowledgement, which may I assume she got plenty of. That's the ultimate "trophy". She did a little extra, and therefore you love her a little extra. Many people's love language is act of service. Furthermore, what you are describing as "an ideal relationship" is nothing more than co-dependency which on paper seems reasonable but in practice it's sickening & miserable. Love isn't about equality, love has nothing to do with the way chores are divided. and once you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, trust me you don't have time to spend thinking about how many days in a row you had to make dinner. If you are complaining about chores being divided unequally, you are not in love. It doesn't matter who takes the trash out, or does the dishes. All of them could be done by one person. What matters is whether healthy foundations for the relationship is set. Imagine you dad complaining about him doing "100% of the plumbing, 100% of law mawning and most of the driving on family trips" since he moved in with your mother. When was the last time your father received a little gift of appreciation? Such as a bracelet, a mug or even flowers(yeah)? When was the last time he had the whole check covered by your mother(or you, if you are employed) in a restaurant? Did you guys celebrate father's day last year if so what have you planned for this year? The last time you kissed or hugged him? Asked for his advice or listened to what he had to say? In my opinion once you move past the feminine rage, that is based on trivia things you'll be able to love and be loved.

[@cielonehellofaservicedog4648]

​​​@@shotoxx7608 it wasn't the life she wanted...did u read they said their mother worked just like the father during the day, but when they got home she was EXPECTED to do the housework and rearing, that is a reality bashed into little girls minds since the time they can even pick up a baby doll. It isn't a want when u are brainwashed into thinking it is an expectation, yet it is ruining ur health, rest, and sleep when the other person in the relationship is working in the main market equally, but refuses to do so in the private market of the household. And it is indeed LOVE when ur partner, who is male, in a cis hetero relationship, shows he is responsible for household and children. Some of us have icks, that we hate, so it is also healthy and LOVE to have communication and to be able to divide up chores equitably, equality can be felt when partners have equity in the work that needs to be done to be in such a relationship with kids. You admit service is a love language, then in the same breath claim it isn't love. You are so confused, maybe u are just a child who lacks life experience, but JFC at least notice when u contradict urself. And the final paragraph is just showing ur misogynistic and sexist view of the world. Men get cards, they get father's day, they get father Christmas presents, they have their kids ask what to do (if they as a father are actually emotionally intelligent enough not to be a toxic masc man who cuts his own kids from him cause he shows aggression or oppression of "soft" emotions, like so many do), etc. He gets kisses when he gets home, haven't u ever heard of the line "Honey welcome home! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨😘", before? Your questions at the end is clear u don't even understand history nor gender roles pressed onto us all, particularly from Christian trad gender roles. Asking "what about him" is whataboutism and it is just a distraction and pick me behavior. Do better

[@CrankItLikeAZombie]

For me the most powerful line is “it’s not an act of love if you make her” gives me chills

[@KHBogWitch]

Same here…it sets out the relationship dynamic so perfectly. Image (it’s an act of love) vs. reality (not if you make her).

[@catso7236]

I agree!

[@leavemealone853]

Typically women being allergic to any self responsibility and hard work. The world would fall apart without men. The world would be fine without women!

[@GerbestOfNerbs]

@@leavemealone853​Work as in careers and what not is not what this song or comment is about. It’s about work in a relationship/family. It’s about love, though I’m guessing people like you wouldn’t know much about that. And the world would not be fine without women, because the species would die out. Sometimes you misogynists go so far to hate women you completely forget simple knowledge, it’s hilarious.

[@its_urfavlana]

fr

[@Lovely_129]

The fact that you can hear the children in the background singing with her makes it so much more emotional and sad.

[@adit_eeee]

Yes 🧿💔

[@madisoneckhart2447]

Unfortunately it’s not children

[@christymckeown2650]

My divorce from an abusive 15 year marraige was finalized the SAME day this song was released!!! Felt so seen and validated and POWERFUL! My 12 year old daughter listened too. She looked me dead in the eyes and said; "Don't worry momma, I'm gonna be a alright" Sending infinite amounts of love to all the women/mommas breaking free and finding their power.

[@Winter_Rose_]

And your daughter will be alright. Because the women of this generation will not see the next one end in the same way the last did. We'll make sure this generation is heard and seen. Keep fighting! You are validated and seen. We know of the pain, and we won't see our children raised the same!

[@whitneysmith9078]

My God I needed this comment. I'm leaving my abusive husband. I'm looking for a divorce lawyer so I can keep my two year old son from my husband's abuse.

[@Winter_Rose_]

​@@whitneysmith9078 I'm barely about to finish high school but I am wishing you the greatest strength. You are beautiful and strong! Your son is lucky to have such a strong woman in his life!

[@faristasairuv5143]

Amen, congratulations. I wish you and your daughter infinite healing from that bastard.

[@catso7236]

Awwww this song is for you, and your daughter!❤

[@zerosashes]

“24/7 baby machine” … “It’s not an act of love if you make her.” Truly powerful and sad.

[@CosmicHannie]

This song makes me cry for my mother, grandmother, sisters, myself, and all women who relate to this. For my family, it was my father who was mentally and physically abusive. I thank God that we no longer have him in our life, after so many hard years of fighting and enduring his cruelty. I am also thankful that this powerful song was released

[@ladymire]

I wish this were my case. Unfortunately, my mom is still with my emotionally abusive father. I can’t help but love him, but I hate the way he treats my momma.

[@IhaveSOMETHINGagainstDogs]

Why tf do I relate to this comment so much? Still looking for that son of a you-know-what who hurt my mother all those years ago and abused my sister.

[@leahchanadycampbell8255]

To all the little girls, that watched their mothers, and sisters and self get emotionally physically and verbally beaten. That little girl wants to let you know you are so strong. And you are safe now. Hug your self a little tighter today

[@Indomitable_Alykat]

Needed this 🥺

[@catso7236]

Aww thank you. This comment put me in tears!😢❤

[@ihavenoideawhatimdoinghere6285]

The little girl inside me says thank you

[@chuuchuuutrain]

guys get abused too

[@Indomitable_Alykat]

@@chuuchuuutrain No shit, Sherlock. Water is wet. 💁🏻‍♀️

[@taylaa-leelanigan]

I pray women worldwide use this to stand their ground and finally show men we are not objects we are human beings

[@cielonehellofaservicedog4648]

In the USA we needed this song...the attack on women and LGBTQAI+ rights show this fight is not close to over.

[@ritvikaneesh5980]

@@cielonehellofaservicedog4648 facts

[@fionawaymire3198]

@@cielonehellofaservicedog4648 it’s not a right to abort your baby or transition children’s genitals

[@chuuchuuutrain]

​@@cielonehellofaservicedog4648women have rights in the USA what r u talking about

[@preachingsarcasm2213]

​@@chuuchuuutrain abortion rights were taken away.

[@Regrettable-Username]

"Apologies from my tongue, but never yours" I'd missed that line, but boy is it massive! We're raised to apologize for everything, even things that aren't our fault, and just accept when other people act like them disrespecting us isn't a big deal. We're being dramatic. It's in the past. Etc.

[@louiset2218]

It’s ridiculous the shivers and tears this song brings. I think every woman can feel this song to their bones whether it be for themselves, mothers, sisters, aunts anything

[@chuuchuuutrain]

I don't feel it that way wdym

[@leavemealone853]

🤣🤣🤣 enjoy your house full of 50 cats keep crying you baby!

[@siouxzqz1]

I do--I do feel it in my bones. I heard a shortened clip and immediately came here to find the whole song. It echoes so many stories, old and new that you read about women. And I grew up with a kind father who did a lot of the housework and I'm lucky to have a good husband who does more than his fair share (because I've fallen ill) but I also know many women who don't have this and it gives me the chills. So many women are abandoned when they become sick, I consider myself very lucky. This is a song about most women throughout all of time. I sent a link to my daughter because even if she doesn't experience many of the lyrics in this song herself it's important to recognize it's pretty much a universal condition 🥺

[@r0ckmom]

Same with trans men. We’ve lived these experiences too, we’ve been fed this rhetoric all our lives the same way cis women have

[@athenaheralaufeyson367]

This makes me think of my grandma. She was so beautiful and she caught my grandpas eyes and he gave her no choice that she was “his”. Had her first child at 17 and then 8 other pregnancies afterwards, two of which didn’t make it. Abused and made to fend for herself and children while my grandpa drank and only came home to beat her. She survived and my mom talks about to to this day. About how strong she was and how persevering she was. She never gave up. They lived in a house with no running water on the country side of our community. She survived. She has a hard life. Nothing but serving people and a God that paid her no mind. She had the purest heart and lived a life of suffering. She moved onto the next part of her journey almost 3 years ago now. Wherever she is I hope she’s being the bad ass warrior she is. I take peace knowing she’s free from this hell of a world we live in now.

[@Psyche1226]

if there is any justice in the hereafter she is in valhalla seated at the head of the table with the mightiest warriors ever born. surviving all of that....

[@athenaheralaufeyson367]

@@Psyche1226 thank you. You have no idea how much your comforting words help. ❤️

[@oliwiastanisawska6545]

I know what you’re talking about. If I only start to think about how much my grandma went through, it doesn’t end. Or my mom. Women in my family are warriors. I don’t want to and don’t have to repeat the same cycle. Time to break it.

[@RawOlympia]

Knew a lady who's mom escaped horrible abuse, she was Canadian and caught a plane to Hawaii but had no money. Pearl Harbor happened a week after she got there! They needed help and she strapped the baby to her back and tended to soldiers and she ended up becoming a beloved doctor in Honolulu. She lived to almost 100. I met her a few times and she was a hero to me, she just ran away and her life opened in the most awesome way!!! I feel sickened for all suffering abuse.

[@Evija3000]

The beginning sounds like my grandparents. She was very beautiful and gentle and he quickly married her. He ended up being a horrible abuser (not just beatings, but straight up torture, he'd been through kgb training). In stead of her having tons of kids though he made her have tons of abortions instead. They lived in deep poverty. Running away also wasn't very realistic because of his connections. It was too much for my grandma, she got an illness and refused to properly treat it ending in her early death. So she got the abusive side to the extreme, while my other grandma got the labor part to the extreme. She alone took care of a farm, her own three kids, a neglected neighbor's girl and sometimes other kids (like relatives or her kid's friends) while her drunk trucker husband was mostly away working or living with his second family. No running water, all meals from scratch, farm animals to take care of, gardens, fields, at one point she'd get into the plough and do the work of an ox ploughing the field because that was the only way to get it done. Her health plummeted in her 60s and now she doesn't recognize most of her family. My parents' marriage was also bad. So needless to say I'm very careful with my partner selection.

[@MaggieRosethe6ix]

After 26 years of an abusive marriage I’m free. ❤started drinking at 43 when I left. Didn’t take me long to become an alcoholic. I’m 4 years sober and still single. Ten years now. I’m truly truly free at 52

[@JustyMe]

Similar age to my mother, also single now and so so happy. I'm crying happy tears for you ❤

[@sweetlikemilkAMSR]

Powerwoman ❤

[@DarthFurie]

Congratulations on your sobriety and your freedom! May love and light lead the way for you

[@Momma_birb]

I’m so glad your free

[@Cecilpedia]

I am so proud of you. You deserve so much better than what happened to you. I hope your life continues to improve

[@danigodbout3306]

Please tell me im not the only one who can close my eyes and start crying because i started realizing that one relationship was so abusive and this song was the thing that brought it to light.

[@essimathews9056]

It's horrendous how much this kind of abuse is normalized. There are so many posts about how hard women work with the caption "Women are amazing!". We are, but we shouldn't have to be.

[@tastelesscourage7296]

Yep I stayed 3 years too long I was his slave in basically every way and he would ask his mum " shouldn't the one at home do the cleaning and cooking" we both were with jobs at the time but she agreed and he used that agreement to his advantage would also threaten to leave me constantly but when I tried to leave be pinned me to the wall and said no ( more than that went on but that's the gist of his attitude)

[@dannieden5049]

I've been healing from an abusive relationship too. I sing and cry every line to the version of myself from the past, as I watch each lyric happening in my mind. It feels like I am sending the building defiance and strength to them.

[@majesticdreams240]

Mostly emotional abuse, but probably because I’ve never lived with him. The amount I’ve sacrificed though is infinite and catering to all his needs… I relate deeply, and yes, I began to tear up listening with my eyes closed

[@steph7d]

Its definitely a light bulb moment

[@kimberlyvaughn6870]

I'm here before this becomes an athem for a generation.

[@Swiftie_130]

Me too

[@liztellez5375]

Same

[@The_Satanic_cat]

Me too

[@mizzy2813]

It already is lol 😂

[@michellelovesanberli]

Gen x and YES

[@sleepyowl2284]

Even as a man, I feel the power of this song, can only imagine how you gals feel about it. Stay strong everyone and find yourselves a lover and a partner, not a slave-owner!

[@mammon_is_god]

If you're a man and you don't love this song, it's probably because it hits too close to home.

[@blacksheep9144]

[@TheOncelersTruffulaTree]

You, sir, are a good man. I applaud you.

[@stella_fnaf]

you dropped this 👑

[@kimberlee440]

👏 👏 👏

[@taigaleto890]

using this as my personal case study in media for my sociology coursework. this is a masterpiece and I absolutely adore it

[@borrow4654]

What's your coursework about?

[@taigaleto890]

@@borrow4654 media's effects on society and it's functions

[@anayaweick7964]

"Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother’s fate." The artist makes a lot of references to this quote in probably my favorite way. The quote addresses the way the daughter will feel, but her song addresses how the mother is bright enough to realize what is happening and yet she still cannot save her daughter.

[@essimathews9056]

I am so proud of the men in my life for listening to me when I point out that I'm always the one who cleans up after company, the one who makes the tea, and that I have to wrap my whole schedule around baking the bread they finish eating in one day. They've been making a lot of progress, simplifying plans and doing more to help so the division of labor is more even. I have also made progress in realizing that it's not my sole duty to cater to everyone around me. But it takes a lot of conversations and work to subvert the social programming that has been there for hundreds of years. Progress is possible though.

[@yeos_angel_]

don't be proud. it's the bare minimum

[@essimathews9056]

@@yeos_angel_ Programming is hard to break. I don't expect them to be perfect, and I don't expect them to read my mind. They care a lot about me and just as often ask if they can help just out of courtesy. I'm just as proud of all my gals who stand up for themselves after being in the role of care for too long. I can be proud of men for putting in the work and growing. Plus I find it more useful to phrase my response to this as "I appreciate your progress" rather than "Finally, the bare minimum."

[@blinkeuisaswiftie8397]

@@yeos_angel_ their reason to be proud is valid tho, they aren't saying someone like "I'm proud of my husband for being a babysitter for his own baby, for doing his laundry and dishes" but i understand that it really is annoying when some people gets proud of men for doing the normal, unusual thing.

[@yeos_angel_]

@@essimathews9056 programming to ignore you? You're happy that they finally see you as a person?

[@essimathews9056]

@@yeos_angel_ Let's put it this way. One can be proud of someone for their progress in becoming physically healthier when they were unhealthy before without disagreeing with the fact that they probably shouldn't have had unhealthy habits in the first place. I feel like it's just the same in this case. I don't think they were outright ignoring me, more like I had been encouraged to take on traditional responsibilities while growing up without question or complaint, and they were encouraged to see that as the norm, and for lack of contradiction, thought my contribution was wholly voluntary, and not simply what I had been taught was my responsibility. When they saw I was overwhelmed they would help even before we decided to focus on these things, but now we are communicating to avoid me getting overwhelmed in the first place. I am proud of them for having perfect intentions, if not perfect understanding. I don't feel abused or like they consider me less than a person in general. In fact I think my guy friends and fiancé have actually encouraged me to speak up for myself more than my family did.

[@buttercup9133]

Raising a daughter and a son right now. They are young, and I’m so glad they both are growing up In a generation where their mother Isn’t brainwashed like mine was

[@Evija3000]

I feel like many women have woken up to this nonsense. The issue is that many men still haven't and it still sets a bad example. Even if the mother wants to raise the next generation more equal, if the father lets say never cooks, it might complicate the process.

[@thevibeguide]

Her voice is otherwordly ❤️

[@michellewingard4757]

Its hypnotic

[@justagalwhocomments]

@@michellewingard4757 yep

[@AceGT117]

Agreed

[@chelseahurd7373]

It has a haunting quality, it delivers the message so beautifully.

[@chezsrandombs]

The younger female voices echoing through the background showing the generations dealing with the man's actions was so well done!

[@Just_Steph.]

There will not be a single woman who hears this song and feels it in their bones

[@taylaa-leelanigan]

It's such a powerful song and is going to touch every woman in such a powerful way x

[@sebastiantails1937]

No, but we feel it for our mothers.

[@queerantine69]

The wording you've used is confusing

[@enterthefreak3491]

@@queerantine69 they mean that the song reminds them of their mother instead of their own experience

[@queerantine69]

@@enterthefreak3491 oh thank you

[@Ruler_of_theUniverse]

“It’s not an act of love if you make her” is such an incredibly powerful line, especially in a song like this.

[@Squiggums799]

I am a man who escaped an abusive relationship with a woman. The parallels found in this song are heartbreaking. My heart goes out to everyone escaping an abusive relationship, no matter who they are. Keep on fighting, no matter what.

[@1013toto]

I'm glad that you spoke up. Too many men stay quiet about their abusive relationships to try and be "manly." Whilst the issue isn't quite as prominent for us men, it's still a very real issue. I'm glad you're doing better. Keep your head up, brother.

[@1013toto]

@dcarrenob89 this song, whilst it being written from a feminine perspective, is at a basic level about abuse and being treated as though the only thing of value about a person is what they provide or do for another. So this space and song is for whoever can relate to that. Go be butt hurt somewhere else.

[@kodi.9242]

@@dcarrenob89 its ignorant of you to assume that this is a woman-only youtube video. it is not. music is up for interpertation and this man did nothing wrong by speaking up on the shit he went through, this song is about abuse and being treated terribly. which both men AND women can experience (crazy right?) you, my dear, are the reason why men feel they cant express their feelings, or speak out about r4pe or abuse.

[@towhee3400]

​@@dcarrenob89gross! I dont think the woman who wrote this song would agree with you whatsoever. Abuse is abuse, no-one deserves to be shamed or ridiculed for having experienced it, and unfortunately men's AND women's experiences are silenced all the time, *by people like you.* How dare you try to gatekeep someone taking comfort in a song about ESCAPING ABUSE?? Like. What do you get out of that? A superiority complex? Bc it's not a good look pal. Figure out your priorities.

[@zeehow8998]

I am proud of you for escaping. Keep your head up! Never settle for less. I hope the best for you.

[@samanthajordan7745]

I do have a daughter which is why I ran. This song hits soooo hard. Thank u ❤😊

[@randomheadful7190]

Same, girl, same. All the love to you and your daughter.

[@ShilohSmith]

“If we had a daughter? I’d watch and could not save her” makes me want to violently vomit. Far TOO relatable.

[@thevibeguide]

One of the best tracks this year!

[@justagalwhocomments]

Yes! And the message is deep too

[@catso7236]

By far!

[@melissaCgreenwood]

My mother, at the age of five, taught me that I can't cry or show weakness because men will take everything from you and leave with less than NOTHING.

[@melissaCgreenwood]

I learned from her mistakes and I am free today. Rest in peace mother... your sacrifice will never be forgotten

[@catso7236]

@@melissaCgreenwood 🙏✝️

[@chuuchuuutrain]

men don't do that at least not al of them, there's nothing wrong with showing your feelings

[@coffeekat5066]

Jeez, sorry your mother was so toxic.

[@matthewbates9629]

Sorry to say this but men are not allowed to show their emotions ever and it’s why women live longer

[@alecrunner7914]

The evolution of the lyrics are super interesting. She goes from saying “if our love dies, would that be the WORST thing?” to asking “If our love dies, would a bad thing?” She goes from questioning ‘if I leave this relationship, would it kill me?’ to basically stating ‘if I stay in this relationship, he will kill me’ and that realization of the abuse and sexism is so powerful. Stay strong, all or my AFABs and MtFs out there!

[@ravenqueer5295]

hey i know this was not your intention but saying “afabs and mtfs” when you mean women is super dysphoria inducing for both trans men and trans women

[@solarchaotica]

I feel like it does depend on the person. But as someone who is afab, it's easy to pick up fears relating to your sex growing up. I absolutely feel the hell out of this song. Because I saw the situations depicted in this song. The contexts of my feelings changed over the years. But growing up I absolutely felt fear of ending up in these situations. It eventually switched to feeling the fear of being the toxic guy in relationships that I saw so much of growing up once I realized that I don't have to be a woman just because I'm afab (this just wasn't a common concept I even started hearing about fully until my later teen years) But regardless of gender, many afabs do grow up being taught to be responsible for households (this doesn't start as an adult). . And socially this is an experience closely linked to your sex, because this is something that commonly starts being taught well before we have full knowledge of gender as a concept. Like, it being uneven with having girls do housework and help with cooking and looking after younger family members, when this expectation isn't pushed on boys of the same age. I can't and won't try to speak for people at the other end of this, because it's not my place and I don't have their experiences But I feel like this kind of socialization negatively effects everyone involved

[@blacktigerpaw1]

Love how despite all this BS about women's oppression, you still have to include males. Transwomen DO NOT GO THROUGH THIS. They can't even clean their own bedrooms. Do you really think a husband beats them for not sweeping the floors?

[@blacktigerpaw1]

​@@ravenqueer5295Transwomen are male. Transmen are men, right? Well then they're part of the patriarchy.

[@blacktigerpaw1]

​@@solarchaoticaInteresting you say this and transwoman aren't expected to keep house despite them being 'real women.' Almost as if they just want to be f.ucked as a woman.

[@thevibeguide]

It doesn't get better than this.

[@catso7236]

Exactly my thoughts! Best song ever. It’s all you could want in a song!😅

[@leavemealone853]

Lmao yall are so lost in the sauce its amazing you found your way here 🤣 keep living in clown world 🤡

[@º№™ºc™]

e

[@kimdelrossi2902]

The “capillaries bursting” is also a double meaning- like she’s so enraged they burst, but also that happens when someone literally strangled someone. How many men have strangled their partners to death?

[@L-pq3ki]

This song is my life! Hope it reaches women everywhere. Cautionary tale and anthem that we’re worth more!

[@celticwolf8123]

Went viral already on tiktok before full release

[@thevibeguide]

Finally full version! ❤️

[@mikeyjoshua1846]

An hour after the premiere. You really went out there and put your entire soul into this huh. Amazing.

[@christinapape4817]

As a mother of two kids with a man who only works and does nothing when he comes home this hits way too hard..

[@s0lstic3]

Girlie... He may not be the one for you. Talke to him about trying to help him around the house. If he doesn't change or becomes WORST... LEAVE HIM!

[@trusttheprocess5618]

If he didn’t work you wouldn’t have shit🤣 bet if he never married you he would be soooo much better off

[@JustyMe]

​@@trusttheprocess5618 look who statistically lives longer, married men or single men - spoiler, it's the married men. For women it's the exact opposite.

[@epicaunleashed8764]

Is he supposed to do anything after working all day? What are you for?

[@oanaion4899]

​​@@epicaunleashed8764 do you realize most women work too, right?

[@katrinaasmrr]

Almost married a man who would have expected this from me. He went to work, but was so lazy otherwise. Now I’m with a new man and having his little baby girl - he doesn’t demand me to work if I don’t want to. And understands labour is a partnership, not an expectation from a female. I get chills thinking about the life I could have had if I didn’t walk a few years ago…my intuition knew something wasn’t right. Listen to yourselves. I’m happier, blessed and I feel safe ❤

[@pilarerika3196]

I have no words. You are portraying me with your beautiful voice and words. Beautiful and so terribly true! Thank you for fighting for the rights of women, Paris Paloma :)

[@italias861]

This song makes me angry for all the women I never knew.

[@ettaetta439]

If you get to know me and my mom, you could be angry for us lol. And for my brothers too, they were harmed in different ways.

[@italias861]

@@ettaetta439 I’m so sorry you and your family went through harm. My family and myself did as well. I’m so tired man. But this song makes me angry and gives me hope.

[@ettaetta439]

@@italias861 it's such a contradicting feeling to be helpless but at the same time feel empowered.

[@willowwilliams498]

Good you need to be, everybody has to or nothing will change.

[@chloemayne6865]

You don’t know them, but the generations of women who came before you are still a part of you. Your mitochondrial DNA can only be passed down from the mother, so you’ll always carry a piece of those women with you

[@-N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y-]

This song reminds me of my mom, My mom(B) got married to a guy who I will call R. He was manipulative, he made her think he was a good guy. But he was an Evil and Abusive man. My mother didn't know till I was born. He started showing his true colors, getting angry at the tiniest things. When my brother was born premie that's when it started. My mom was on bed rest throughout my brother's pregnancy. He didn't care he didn't want to deal with her so he forced her into the car and drove her to my grandma's house. I was a quiet but happy child until one day he started yelling at me in my highchair. I wanted to be cleaned I was 3. My mom was feeding my brother. She rushed in front of him and he threw her into a wall and destroyed her shoulder, my grandfather got us out. My mom is my hero!

[@shadowm2k7]

My favourite cop out guys use to get out of household labour is "oh but i work so therefore i don't need to help around the house since im paying all the bills" Okay, but if i wasn't here you would literally still be doing that. You haven't sacrificed ANYTHING. I gave up my body to have your child. I gave up my free time and my love of drawing, acting, dancing, playing videogames, my entire social life and so much more to look after YOUR CHILD and YOUR home. Yeah you work but again YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THAT ANYWAY!!!! YOU WERE ALREADY DOING THAT BEFORE YOU MET ME. YOU HAVEN'T SACRIFICED AT ALL, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WASH A DISH

[@clownetto981]

And you're also working

[@science1644]

It always got to me to see my male coworkers getting served and not having to do chores (their wives did everything). I think it's unfair to a woman and her career (and interests) to have to balance both. I feel like you get farther if you have the time. Compared to my male coworkers, they always had way more time because of it.

[@novamarrie6397]

I absolutely bawled to this song I cried for all the woman before me who had to yo through this. The generational rage thus song gives me is astronomical

[@zenith7958]

The lyrics resonate with women since the dawn of human civilization for centuries

[@wifey09]

I always thought it said "less than a servant" and both lyrics means so much when you look back and realize that until now there are still many people who think they own you once you tied the knot

[@lunar_wolf6699]

I was in a 9 month relationship with my abuser. He sexually abused me and he made me do a whole lot of shit and he even wanted me to get pregnant and the line about the daughter really broke me because what if I had a daughter? What would he have done to her? I was 15-16 at the time and I stood my ground towards the end. I’m now 19 going on 20 and I’m a hell of a lot better knowing I don’t have to worry about that anymore. To all of the women out there, you are strong no matter what and I am proud of y’all ❤

[@ENIXXTTIME]

This song just makes me think of my older sisters... their husbands never do anything for them and expect so much from them anyways. One sister never wanted children. Because of her husband she now has 3. She loves her daughters but she never wanted to be a mother. My other sister works full time, takes care of their son all the time whether her husband is home or not. He sits on his phone while she works day in and day out for them. He's cheated on her twice but she stays for her son. This song is amazing and hopefully they'll hear it and realize they deserve better

[@katienielsen7715]

Been waiting for this. The amount of souls she's speaking into, can you feel the fire rising within ladies? 🔥

[@roelinkabek9286]

The fire is getting huge in all women

[@chuuchuuutrain]

no

[@chuuchuuutrain]

​@@roelinkabek9286no

[@korok0_086]

​@@chuuchuuutrainwhy are you such a hater bro, get a life.

[@HelloAwesome94]

I will cheer any woman who escapes this type of relationship. No one should be forced or convicted to have a child. To be a mother to a man and her children. I love this song.

[@lollipoplexey650]

This hit me harder then I realized, till today. I was thinking of the lyrics and my last relationship. This song is just… spot on

[@sweetdee2957]

For me this is the exact conversation we’ve been having on TikTok and I could never find the right words for the frustration I felt before that. This song sums it all up so beautifully

[@mikespidle9770]

This song enrages me in the best way. Spectacular verses combined with that slow, heart pounding build up and a message that rings so terribly true. Absolute chills.

[@LunaMarss-ke4mj]

This was absolutely worth the wait, I heard the teasers and counted down the days 😍 there's so much rage I feel singing this song and In the best way possible

[@ArtsiProductions]

Balling my eyes out dont mind me

[@katienielsen7715]

Same ❤❤💔💔

[@katrinepedersen9660]

This song is so powerful, because it rings true in so many people. Not only from abusive homes, but simply from the cultural misalignment of workload. Its about one partner not even thinking about the tasks they always rely on the other to do. My parents were never abusive as I could tell, my father is a decent man. They both worked, yet at home my mother did 70% of the cleaning, 90% of the cooking, 100% of the shopping, laundry, helping me and my brother with homework and dealing with our after school activities. In the last few years my father came home from work, went to watch TV, ate dinner when mother called for him, then went to watch TV the rest of the evening. They divorced after 20 years, and it wasn't a surprise

[@braltimore3995]

Once a little old lady told me she was proud of my for going to school because women didn't have the chance when she was my age. She was just a passing stranger. But now I have to make something of myself because it's not about me. It's about all the women before me who have wasted away.

[@Iffondrel]

I love this song to bits. It's so powerful and compelling! ...But it's also the kind of song that I hope my mother never discovers. She'll probably say that she resonates with it, despite being an absolute narcissistic that didn't care for her children past the baby stage. It was a relief when my parents finally divorced because then she wasn't around to scream obscenities at my dad. I chose my dad in the divorce because he raised me. He did everything and never complained. He built my mom gardens and bookshelves and a walk-in closet at her request, despite working long weeks, and tried his best to spend quality time with his family. My mom still thinks to this day that I went with him because he manipulated me. She has no sense of wrongness.

[@SL-fd5fp]

I feel this song in such a visceral way. My gut wants to scream this song out. I lost years, years to a man like this. RUN AWAY and run screaming from this kimd of life.

[@SkyGodHQ]

Alot of men are pissed off whenever they see women praise this song. These boys never knew what its like being groomed and being told by their parents/society that you are a second class citizen, you have to pretty youself up, the social pressures, the expectations of being everything (pretty, talented, smart, kind and/or sociable) only to have your whole life reduce to being a wife and a mother.

[@darkb4light06]

It's about time us broken women got an anthem. Thank you.

[@lidijam.5331]

this is an absolute art; the lyrics, the music, the message it sends... it made me sad, heartbroken, angry, crying and then screaming and throwing things... ahhhh LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!

[@Miraculoushero]

I've been waiting for this to come now that it is out I'm like yay!!!!! My favorite line would have to be, " It's not am act of love if you make her. You make me do too much labor." ❤❤

[@jaywitwer7003]

I love this line bc it can be interpreted so many different ways. You can see it as in “making love” or how I hear it as in like little “acts of love” like making dinner for your partner. It’s not an act of love if you force her to cook is it? I love this song.

[@jinxxgames9885]

This is blaring in my house non stop now I love this song

[@birb7353]

To all the women show have lived through this, you are so damn brave. Fighting back and escaping from an abusive relationship is so, so much harder than people make it out to be. Know if you're still trapped, there are so many women sending you love and strength. You are worth so much more than what you can do for other people. You deserve to be happy, too.

[@crazy8286]

I’m blasting this at all hours now

[@my_little_crush_on_life5430]

It's so sad. I'm only 22 years old but I can relate to this song so hard. This society is fucked up. I can understand my mother a bit more now. Also I am so happy to be not with my ex anymore. I did so much emotional labour and spend money and time with him so so much just to get barley anything in return. ❤ Love goes out to my sisters!

[@alias4506]

This gives me chills for all the women around the world, sold and literally sold into the idea of marriage today. “You’re pretty enough to be my slave and laborer” I don’t want to work at my job and at home. cook, clean, give labor, raise children, be a mans therapist.. for him to bring what? Money only? We’ve been fooled. Worst part is, we go into it hoping we get love, but what does love compare to all this labor.

[@saikur0n]

'It's not an act of love if you make her ' , that hit hard

[@arturialivre3826]

Am I the only one who's getting Florence and the machine vibe at the beginning?

[@timberwolf7105]

"The capillaries in my eyes are bursting", it clearly expresses how I feel after witnessing how women are treated

[@nooneinparticular1685]

Girl I just cry myself sick over it every so often. You're all my sisters and I will look out for you as such until the day I die.

[@lucia4916]

@@nooneinparticular1685idk if I’m just really high but I really needed to read this and this made me tear up. Thank you

[@HadesAddams-qs1wd]

As someone who’s escaping from a very abusive household with horrible parents. I relate to this song so much it makes me feel so much emotion.

[@elii448zz4]

this will be forever the womens anthem ✊🏻

[@angelaclark9226]

Dammit this hurts. My US History class “teaches” about women as an after thought, if you can even call it that. I needed to get this out. We are erased in history, and our stories are ignored now. I am only in high school and I’m tired of this.

[@cielonehellofaservicedog4648]

I encourage you to read about the great women of the tribes that were here and still are...what those warrior women did and how our cultures' are gynocentric in nature. Take the Iroquoian Participatory Consistutional Republic, The Great Law of Peace. Our Consistution is where the USA "founding" fathers got their ideas about equal branches of government and others...they left out the feminist parts though.

[@rebeccalacroix4629]

Right, it sucks that women aren't talked about as much. If you're interested in learning about women in history, I recommend rejected princesses.

[@spookystarlet3743]

The daughter part... Generational trauma 😢

[@DylansPen]

Amazing how a song can carry meaning and a message far better than just saying something out loud.

[@_Ash_98]

I watched the premiere… such a beautiful song.

[@olive5366]

This could not have come at a better time. I broke up with my ex a week ago and this is exactly how I felt

[@reiayanami6290]

I feel like all us women can relate this song to ourselves or our mothers, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, daughters and female friends.

[@PoisonPinkASMR]

My soul has been screaming for this

[@ruthwellington4454]

I hate how accurate this song is. I am burned out from being married to a man that has had 10 years of a happy marriage, when I have just been surviving it day by day.

[@thekidkazoo]

The way this song hit me. I haven’t found a song that has leveled me and healed me at the same time, in a long time. I’m a survivor of abuse, some of my abusers have NPD, and I have PTSD due to domestic violence. I never thought a song I heard on a tiktok reel would spark my interest, but here I am. One of the hardest life lessons I’m learning at 34, is that I AM CAPABLE. I just was wasting my capabilities on terrible men, vying for their approval, validation and affection. Now I’m finally throwing that capability into myself. The abuse was so awful that showering was a chore. So I wake up between 5-6am, and make time for me. Man or woman, if you’re being abused, please know you can get out. Please know it is better, and please know they’re lying to you and saying anything they can to get you to stay or take them back. You are TRULY loved and you ARE CAPABLE.

[@danmoraru8743]

Just curious...how much of the bills did u pay in these "abusive" relationships?

[@thekidkazoo]

@@danmoraru8743 all of them, and they were abusive, so I suggest you sit. If someone speaking out about the abuse they went through, triggers you, then it may be time for you to seek therapy.

[@AtiredHumanBeing]

Waited so long for this masterpiece ❤ Was absolutely worth it

[@recklesswolf636]

I need this on loop ❤️‍🔥

[@jennsname]

To many of us are suffering in this patriarchy!!! I cant breathe anymore!

[@nooneinparticular1685]

They've made this world hell for everyone including themselves and so many of them can't comprehend that fact. We need to start working on some kind of female only underground city or like figure out a different planet to go to some shit. Enough is enough

[@angimercury4531]

This song will make history.

[@officalastro9959]

I LOVE THIS SONG!!

[@Chirpy-eo8jq]

I love the repetition of “if our love died, would that be the worst thing?” “If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?” She may not realize it, but she’s already searching for a way out. She’s fighting against the notion that love is forever and that fantasy of marriage. As the song goes along, it gets worse. She starts to picture her daughter and what she would have to go through, and then after that, the realization that she has to leave. “At least I have to try” I feel like the repetition of the chorus gets more disturbing as the song goes along because the reality and the unfairness of it sets in, and then the bridge happens, where she yells about the injustice of it all And it builds and builds, with more voices joining her, maybe it’s all of her evidence building up, maybe she actually gets outside help to leave, but she can’t ignore it anymore

[@missy3941]

“It’s not an act of love if you make her” goosebumps

[@catso7236]

Absolutely!! That part of the song played as I read this comment.

[@mizkatie3]

I lived through horrific abuse. I have 2 sons and they are awesome men. I don’t speak to family who looked the other way. This song is my rage!! And my sign I bought that says… We are the granddaughters of the witches you couldn’t burn!!

[@LunaMoon-nq8uo]

I have not felt anything like this, but im sorry for every mother, sister and daughter that goes through this... stay strong! ❤

[@emilybadman660]

This is SO powerful it feels like everything all at once. It makes ME feel powerful

[@nuriaiglesiastoribio7159]

My favorite lyrics are "so that he never lifts a finger" bc of this double meaning...

[@aubreesdrawings1020]

See, I was the outcome of a abusive marriage.. my mom left and made sure I knew what my dad did was wrong. As I got older, he started to do the same to me as he did to my mom. At 14, I finally fought back and ended his abuse for good. This song is something I'm gonna introduce to my daughter and teach her what a man is supposed to do and what he shouldn't. I never want my daughter to go through what I did. I do thank my mom for saving herself and myself. She deserves everything in this world.

[@agayclownnamedjack]

We living the same life??

[@fatimzahra_q]

“ITS NOT AN ACT OF LOVE IF U MAKE HER”‼️‼️

[@samiew]

3:28 gives me goosebumps like chills down my spine

[@alexisshaw1949]

Yes! This is our song now!! Thank you for this masterpiece 🥰☺️

[@osielone1]

The final chorus is so catchy, fantastic song 😎👌

[@mizuniki66631]

Been waiting for this full version!