People is so dumb! #1 Reciprocity

Reciprocity - People is so dumb!
One of the most basic principles of human behavior is the tendency to reward the kind behavior of others. The reverse is also true; we are inclined to punish those who are unkind.
In perhaps one of the first documented statements of the Golden Rule, Confucius said "do not do to others what you would not wish done to you."
This is called reciprocity, or in layman's terms, payback!
This concept sounds obvious, but there are interesting implications when these principles are carefully crafted to affect the behavior of others (like your coworker, boss, client, friends, or even your enemies).
Some really smart scientists have developed experiments where 2 players were expected to share a sum of money. In the most basic form of the game, the first player is allowed to choose a portion of the total pot of cash for himself. Let's say there is $10 on the table and he chooses to keep $6. The remaining money goes to the second player, who can choose to accept the remaining $4 or reject it. If the second player rejects the money, neither player takes home any cash. If the second player accepts the money, both players go home a little richer. A rational second player should accept any amount of cash because no matter what, she makes some money in the deal... Even if it is only 1 dollar or 1 cent. But this isn't what happens. If the amount taken by the first player seems unfair, the second player will punish the first player by rejecting the deal, even though she is punishing herself as well. Human pride and a sense of fairness clouds our judgement. This experiment demonstrates how reciprocity directly affects human behavior. Humans like to retaliate.
Similar experiments have demonstrated the reciprocity of kindness. The old saying "you scratch my back. I'll scratch yours" rings true.
So how can you use this human weakness to your advantage? Simple. Give a gift when you don't have to. This may be as simple as complementing your coworker in front of others or thanking your boss for looking out for his employees. Giving a complement costs you nothing!
To really stir the pot, give your annoying boss or coworker a chocolate bar or even a dozen donuts at the beginning of your next business meeting. With the donuts, he will have to acknowledge your kindness publicly and will feel compelled to share the donuts with everyone, forcing him into a sharing mood. This is when you strike... "So boss, would this be a good time to reconsider the purchase a new copy machine for the front office?"
Here's the trick. The gift does not have to be big and expensive... In fact it shouldn't be. Humans are compelled to return favors, even if they are very small. Perhaps you remember the guy who washed your car windshield and asked for a handout? Or how about the junk mail that arrived with free address labels along with a request to donate to a specific charity? Or the free lolly pop at the bank? Or the free coffee mug that you received for signing up for another credit card? These small gifts aren't really free. They are carefully chosen tools of manipulation.
Professional marketers are well aware of the power of reciprocity and the act doesn't have to be secret or disguised. Studies have shown that doctors are more likely to prescribe specific medications when provided with free meals or other trinkets from the associated pharmaceutical company. Reciprocity is a very powerful tool.
Reciprocity isn't only for big business. It can be equally useful in day to day circumstances. The gesture may be even more powerful when it comes at an unexpected time. There is no better way to trip up your enemies than to send them an unexpected compliment or thank you note when they expecting you to attack. Remember the Trojan horse?
The power of reciprocity. Perhaps it is time for you to pick out the person who annoys you most and give them a small trinket with a compliment. But don't forget to ask for something in return!
Michael K. Davis, MD, MBA

[@ArneBab]

important caveat: punishing the unfair first player (1:30) might not seem rational for a single person, but if you look at it on a strategical/societal scale it is perfectly rational: It ensures that the first player will share fairly. That means: People accept short term pain for long term gain - which does not fit the title of this series since it’s pretty clever within communities.

[@kimcham9949]

👍🏾 I agree. Had the 2nd player accepted the lesser amount, she would have been mad at herself for the rest of her life for allowing herself to be cheated by him. Who needs that? This way she stays mad at *him* for the rest of her life. And, I can live with that. 😀