People’s Reaction to being a black woman who is 40 and child free

[@marciamahlaba1255]

I love this channel & this is such an important topic to discuss. I am 42, going 43 and happily childfree. It's so refreshing to find other childfree people. I would love to hang out with you all childfree ladies and hopefully finally make childfree friends. I have great friends who are mothers, but I would love to meet other childfree women

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much Marcia. I’ve never actually thought of having child free friends. But now that you have mentioned it and praying that I make friends like that. Friends who are intentionally child free, that would be something 🤗

[@HopeLee527]

40, single and child free is a refreshing and interesting subject. It's rare to see a relatable black woman in SA glowing and thriving while single, 40 and child free. Your contribution to having such open and honest conversation is encouraging to other black women who might also choose a similar lifestyle. Thank you for your vulnerability. Looking forward to seeing more of your glow❤.

[@tkhlongwane]

Thanks you so much Hope. I appreciate your feedback

[@Queendollar83]

40 going on 41, childfree life. Good to see am not crazy (as I have been told) for choosing this life. Sibaningi. Definitely subscribed❤

[@tkhlongwane]

Welcome to the club. You are definitely not crazy babe

[@LadyT06]

You're not crazy but content including joyful😊!!

[@onkarabilekagiso4966]

I’m 25 and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this ❤ there is an alternative to life rather than the traditional things that we are used to. Loved every moment of this

[@Naizabae]

I'm 41 no kids yet enjoying this conversation keep them coming

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your feedback

[@ziintle]

I’m childfree in my 20s and plan not to have children. It’s so hard finding a partner with those values. Yes I am still young so I can escape that. But I know there will be a time I won’t be able to considering we live in a conservative society. People are under the impression women like us hate children and I relate to what you spoke about (the disgust) hence I never share that part of me anymore. I can share I was very excited to find your channel some time back, this is not a topic we talk about in SA a lot

[@tkhlongwane]

Hey Zintle. I know exactly what you mean by not sharing your desires because of judgement, I live through that, it’s so exhausting. I pray you get a partner of your heart’s desires. I’m so glad you found my channel, happy to have you here.

[@theoschoendube]

As a guy, there's a lot of us that don't want kids. So far it's been my intellectual friends that have shown the least interest in having kids. Those are the kinds of guys I'd recommend you consider. All the best. Much love from Australia

[@mariammary4685]

Hi, I'm also child free by choice and I have been married for 8 years and been together with my husband for 17 years. Find someone who also doesn't want kids, it's easier that way and don't be afraid to be vocal about not wanting kids, it's a choice., no one should be forced into motherhood

[@tkhlongwane]

@mariammary4685 thank you for this. That is what I have started vocalising. It has made my pool smaller, which I’m grateful for. I’m happy to remain single until I find what I prefer

[@mariammary4685]

@@tkhlongwane yes, don't settle . I also wanted to thank you for making this channel. I have been reading the comments and it's so nice to listen to women discussing being child free by choice especially black women and your subscribers are so mindful and non-judgemental. I saw some were mothers but were so respectful to ones who didn't want kids. There was even one woman who said she wants kids so much and some ladies prayed for her in the comments. I love when women come together and are supportive to each other even when we have different opinions and lifestyles. You are doing a great job, thank you ❤️

[@Slindo_M]

I truly enjoyed this ❤. I love it for you! So relatable. In my entire adult life I’ve only been broody for like 10% of it. I don’t ever remember being desperate for marriage or motherhood. Im so fulfilled with my life choices. It’s crazy that you’d be happy with your choices but other people be pressed about it. Im turning 35 this year and when I look at my life, I feel grateful because this is what I’ve envisioned for myself.

[@tkhlongwane]

Oh I love this. You raise a important point, you may be happy with your life choices, but people get pressed🤣

[@gigif169]

Hi!!! Im 39 turning 40 this year. Childfree. Finding my community

[@tkhlongwane]

Welcome Gigi, so happy to have you here🫂

[@LadyT06]

Have some friends both over 40 with no children and they seem content even enjoying life!Thanks for sharing hun and continue doing you Boo😊!!

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much Lady, I appreciate your support, more than you will ever know.

[@LadyT06]

@@tkhlongwane *BearHug!*

[@faithmabasa]

I love love love children, am in my early 40’s and still trusting God for two Boys. I love and enjoy my time with my husband, but I know having those boys will complete us❤. Thanks for the video TK we need to educate our people to stop asking sensitive information from couples and putting pressure on people

[@tkhlongwane]

May God grant you your Harare desires babe. You would make an awesome boy mom.

[@LadyT06]

May God hear your cries and answer you like Hannah.May you be fruitful like Sarah and find favour in God’s sight like Esther!It is well sis and surely God will come through for you.

[@joeydlaminivlogs]

I pray that he Lord will give you your heart desire

[@faithmabasa]

Thank you so much Ladies, it truly is my cry to God. And yes God is faithful thank you Ladies 🙏🏾

[@LadyT06]

@faithmabasa Amen and God is forever faithful.Never loose hope nor faith!!

[@thandimzamo4946]

What I am taking and loving from this Is when u said u r at peace / Content and working towards your own goals at your own pace TK that's the best place to be sis and that's where u genuinely appreciate life and become content❤ love this for u

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you Thandz🤗

[@thatsbahle443]

Oh my word we have such a similar story accept I did not get married but was engaged, I turned 40 last year and I really do not want to be intentionally a single parent.

[@tkhlongwane]

Hey Babe, so happy to have you here. Thanks for watching and yes being a parent is tricky but I think being a single parent is even harder.

[@hlobsiledlamini6516]

I love being here. Currently 42 widowed with 1 child. I also enjoy being alone

[@tkhlongwane]

So glad you enjoy my content. I appreciate the feedback.

[@yolzsincerely]

Oh my word Sis, this topic! Totally relatable, I just turned 40 & also a divorcee. I wanted kids in my marriage but God said No. Now single, I'm not so sure if I want them.😢

[@simply_333]

Wow! I thoroughly enjoyed this video. I love seeing more SA KZbinrs break out of the usual make up, lifestyle and showing off type of content, and it's even more refreshing that you're 40. So very different and relatable. Thank you for starting this journey and mostly, thank you for sharing with us so openly. May your channel grow 🌷

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much. Your feedback is encouraging. And thank you for the well wishes

[@basathumbongwe1386]

I instantly subscribed as I bumped into the channel with a topic that I relate to. Am over 45 and living alone and no kids. Most people judge when you say you don't want kids before marriage

[@tkhlongwane]

Welcome babe, I’m so glad you can relate. We need to have more of these conversations. You are more than welcome to suggest more topics

[@LadyT06]

BoJudge Judy always have something to say and they don't even supply you with oxygen!Continue living for you hun and enjoy every moment😊!!

[@SelepeR5579]

So glad I found your channel. Thoroughly enjoyed this segment as someone similar in outlook. Nothing as liberating as owning your truth and being in alignment. Love conversations that explore alternative perspectives, life isn't as black and white as we've been led to believe.

[@sinegugundlovu1984]

I can so relate to loving your own space and being a present auntie. I love that they are not my kids but I can interact with them, then say goodbye!

[@tkhlongwane]

Exactly babe, ‘I love you bye’ 😂

[@mphohleza4039]

This was beautiful. As a woman over 40, I find your content very relatable and I see a bit of myself in you. I like how you think and can almost see us talking for hours 😂.

[@tkhlongwane]

Oh hey Mpho. So you must be the twin I never met😉I’m so glad you enjoyed the video. Being told ‘I love the way you think’ is such a cool compliment. Thank you.

[@jey4567]

This is so beautiful,sometimes we think we(over 40s) are in our own bubble but there's a lot of common ground we share. I love the sense of self love that comes with being 40+ and not minding what adds no value to your life. Thanks for sharing with us,may you be abundantly blessed. Lovies❤❤❤

[@phumzilenkomo9571]

Beautiful background nicely decorated ,the blue is absolutely stunning ❤❤❤

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much. I think I’ll make this corner my sit down corner.

[@tumibaloyi2915]

As a mom of 3, I need like 5 working days to recover from peopling also😂. Nice topic sis❤️🌹

[@tkhlongwane]

I know exactly what you mean🤣thanks for watching babe

[@thandimzamo4946]

I remember you calling me about this 😂😂😂 now let me watch and hear what you have to say ❤❤

[@tkhlongwane]

🤣🤣

[@Makhotso_]

I love this topic because it’s an alternative narrative to what has been the “traditional” route. For many of us, it gives insight into what else is possible ❤

[@tkhlongwane]

There are so many ways to do this thing called life. And we can all be happy doing whatever works for us .

[@Bonakelephumo]

I thoroughly enjoyed this video! I love how you don't subscribe to the conventional way of doing certain things, but rather choose to do things the way it makes sense for you.❤❤ I also enjoy living alone now that my children are grown and living by themselves, being by myself has given me so much time to do things for ME.

[@tkhlongwane]

So lovely you get to have your time alone l, now that your children are grown. Thanks for watching

[@bluebird4815]

The youtube algorithm gods have done a brilliant job today by suggesting your video.😂😂😂 Subcribed i have now.

[@tkhlongwane]

You are welcome here🤗thank you KZbin algorithm 👊🏽

[@PrettyOmnificent333]

We support you my love and look up to you aswell .

[@evodiamashamaite9556]

I love the topic as a young mom of two,i never want to sideline women who have chosen a different experience from mine.

[@thandimzamo4946]

The date with that guy till today I can't believe it He was definitely rude To be honest I also feel like it's rude to ask someone why they don't have kids ..its like when u r single why are u single all those questions bores me ke sana❤

[@tkhlongwane]

I have blocked him sana, no time for rude people.

[@Naizabae]

I'm people-ing a lot LOL I feel you

[@tkhlongwane]

I’m weak🤣I can’t people hard

[@phumzilenkomo9571]

Ka nnete being content is the No.1 goal,the rest will fall into place. Enjoyed this video on point always,Lots of ❤❤for you.😉

[@tkhlongwane]

Thanks Phumzile, being content is everything

[@nomfundomatshika]

I love your honesty 🤣🤣❤️❤️

[@tkhlongwane]

🤣🤣

[@mslettiemathibe71]

I love you already ❤.. New subbie here!!! Let me watch 🤓❤️

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much and welcome babe

[@Makhotso_]

This was such a wonderful video TK. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you ❤❤❤

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much for watching Makhotso

[@mollyassegaai]

You just got yourself a new subscriber 💜

[@tkhlongwane]

Welcome Molly🤗

[@joeydlaminivlogs]

Hey Tk ❤️ I'm here for the deep conversations my kind of tea

[@joeydlaminivlogs]

Lol interesting that you wanted kids more than marriage 😅

[@joeydlaminivlogs]

Bathong he was offensive

[@joeydlaminivlogs]

As a Mom of 3 who love her kids but I see why being child free is good. Also I don't like that society projects having kids to everyone. And most of us our reasons for having kids are no so pure

[@tkhlongwane]

Ya , I saw myself more as a mother 🤣so interesting

[@tkhlongwane]

Waitsi keng🙆🏽‍♀️

[@Ke_Lesego168]

Thank you🌻

[@Makhotso_]

Being more strict 😂 looking forward to it 😎

[@tkhlongwane]

Babe🤣the men are going to be even more scared, one thing about men, they are scared of a strict babe.

[@SekaSetswana]

25:59 very important question, please think back to recall the guys who were grntlemenly ie spontaneous, flowers, etc. Were they your age or 5 to 10 years older? In mu personal experience that was the difference in my 20s. I had a view that they viewed 20 year old as still into romance, I thought they viewed it as a quick effective way to win a young female over while they saw their peers as more challenging looking for more than flowers or romcom at cinema. In other words, I wonder if you got flowers from 23 year old guys or 30 year old.

[@tkhlongwane]

You bring an important point. When I was younger I attracted guys who were 2-8 years older than me. Now that I’m older I attract guys who are 8 years younger than me to 5 years older than me. So maybe it’s the older guys who get the romance thing.

[@nomfundomatshika]

You are so beautiful TK ❤❤❤

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much

[@faithmabasa]

Kind serving and selfless man is so damn sexy. Yes they are there, very much existing TK ❤

[@tkhlongwane]

Babe, a man who serves is Top tier, love it.

[@Makhotso_]

Hey TK ❤❤❤

[@QueenShaz-oc3qg]

me and you can talk about this all night, i am also 40 going on 41 and still dont have children, it was by choice

[@tkhlongwane]

We are twins babe 🤗

[@QueenShaz-oc3qg]

@@tkhlongwane yess, lost my husband to death in 2010

[@tkhlongwane]

So sorry about that babe🫂

[@LouisaMothoa]

Now I can start my Day 🎉

[@Tha_Hlatshwayo]

This is great content. Definitely subscribed. Please keep it going!😀 Tired of watching the same ol' same ol' from SA youtubers.

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much.I appreciate your feedback.welcome 🤗

[@Lebo_11]

I'm 31 years old,yoh some women sana they will bore me why are you not having kids, you will have complications when you give birth, you will have a disable child. You are getting old now. The list is long honestly i get bored sometimes, because I have to defend myself.

[@tkhlongwane]

I wish people would stay out of business. Next time one asks you, ask them why do they have children 🤣 are they planning to support you financially and otherwise once the baby is here

[@ziintle]

We live in a very conservative country still. I’m still escaping these questions because I’m in my 20s but I know they will come in my 30s because I’m child free

[@portiamogale3465]

I have a male colleague who is child free, in his late 30s😊

[@tkhlongwane]

How lovely, that’s rare. Is it by choice or does he desire to have children?

[@portiamogale3465]

@@tkhlongwane by choice, may change his mind later

[@jacquelinemothibantwa2035]

❤❤❤💐💐💐

[@missp6663]

🏃 🏃 🏃 we love here😊

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you so much babe

[@zandy_gunu]

❤❤❤❤

[@veliswamdzinwa1795]

I'm turning 36 in a couple of months and have no interest in having kids. I feel like they will inconvenience my life physically, financially, emotionally and and... I do however want to get married to a man who also doesn't have kids nor wants them. I get lauged at all the time and asked where I will find such a man 😂 Thank you for this chat, TK.

[@tkhlongwane]

Hu Veliswa. What I know for sure is that, there is nothing new under the sun, so your preferred husband does exist. He might be in your immediate circle or current environment, but he is there and one day you will meet someone whose values align to yours. People can laugh all they want, we don’t want the same things.

[@tumibaloyi2915]

I'm thinking the men you dated in your 20s are the same pool trying to date you now. The only logic is that they've picked up bad habits🤭 from over the years of being in the game. I think every body (both men and women) have a lot of unlearning and relearning though.

[@tkhlongwane]

You are so right, there is so much unlearning to do from both genders.

[@ThembeLoum-vc1sj]

You run your own race at your lane .God's plan

[@tkhlongwane]

Most definitely 🙌🏾

[@ladypoppietheentrepreneur139]

🩷🩷🩷

[@DeeDaKaang1]

The reason that women who are single & childless by choice bother the community is, because at the end of their lives they end up the old auntie that the family ends up stuck with.

[@tkhlongwane]

Okay

[@khetimthembu8465]

Please don’t lie

[@olwethugoqwana4903]

Loved this topic, that time I'm a 42yr old single mom with 2x kids from different fathers 🫣 this is really refreshing but I still believe in love ❤

[@tkhlongwane]

Thank you for watching. Love is beautiful, I also truly believe in love.

[@kgomotsomagabe5535]

❤❤❤

[@tiyiselanin]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@zandilendhlovu-og3de]

❤❤❤

[@kedibonemathekga-oq2sm]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@sibulelepoto442]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤