Perception check

Why yes, I have been playing Baldurs Gate 3, how did you know?
I'm also in an actual D&D podcast called "Dragon Friends" with a bunch of really funny people and one of the smartest DM's who has to deal with our shit. I played music for ages and now I'm doing characters. Go listen!

[@AnonymousAnonymous-kq5oc]

I laughed uncontrollably hard when his immediate response to a npc being short was “I cast vicious mockery”

[@WolfbloodJakeWilliams]

In the first session of my first campaign the players fought a dwarf who was poisoning people to sell them the cure, and the bard yelled 'my grandma can grow a better beard than you' and the dwarf was so insulted he had an aneurism and died immediately.

[@kalimaude3532]

And this is what sets a bard apart. Anyone can attempt an intimidate check to lower their rolls. Haha, they're short. What sets this apart as truly Vicious Mockery is a brief and vivid trip into a world where a baby was born and everyone was like "where's the rest of it", and implying therefore the kid has a NORMAL SIZED HEAD. You can come to terms with being short, but if someone told you in verse that you were short but have a pumpkinlike cranial eminance, some real orange on a toothpick shit? Even if you pass your save, that's years of therapy.

[@FShani]

@@kalimaude3532 tbf babies are all born with huge heads, and the bard eventually perceived he was short because he was a kid. He just managed to convince the poor kid that his completely normal birth was a sign of a physical defect.

[@Notius]

​@@kalimaude3532"some real orange on a toothpick shit" fuckin killed me dude

[@BREAKMEKNEES]

Just saying I think I've seen this vicious mockery cast on a child before . . . kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6LclH2mh8mJl7s&pp=ygUgc28gaSBtYXJyaWVkIGFuIGF4ZSBtdXJkZXJlciBoZWQ%3D

[@BenjiJediMaster]

I totally accept TC being a DnD bard in real life

[@XenoflareBahamut]

Isn't that like every musician ever?

[@BenjiJediMaster]

@@XenoflareBahamut nah, only TC is chaotic enough

[@pistachioracle]

It's pretty cool to think a cop has enough of a chill personality that he can unwind with a group of friends and a trusty D20 at the end of the day.

[@BenjiJediMaster]

@@pistachioracle pretty sure he’s not a cop, I could be wrong lmao

[@abookofmatches]

He plays the live music for the DnD show Dragonfriends (which eeryone should watch)

[@user-zb5sq5do2k]

-"Me and my boys are gonna mess you up!" -"I rolled a 1." -"I rolled a 1." -"FUCK." This had me in tears laughing so hard.

[@Cal_The_Stainless]

All I can imagine is someone just wide eyed with a massive grin shouting fuck at his dice 😭

[@wolvie1618]

I had a session like this once. We had a pretty big group but everyone was rolling bad and i think we lost a couple people

[@angelaplays]

Fr

[@ignisofficialgaming]

It’s funny because it’s an accurate reaction. In my D&D group 3 of us all got 1s on roles we made for a fight we were in and we collectively screamed “FUCK” when the third 1 in a row came up

[@Jack-kb5nb]

I feel this implies the bard just straight up wasn’t paying attention until it was his turn to roll lol

[@kenningtonrund282]

The concept of a player rolling a nat 20 perception check, but IRL being too impatient to perceive the result is a great setup.

[@fr0stdr4ke95]

So... ADHD Perception Check?

[@steves.4848]

Literally every session with my kids.

[@susanmclare]

😂 And “… it’s always a kid…” suggesting this has happened multiple times already 👏

[@redfox4220]

“It’s always a kid” I love the idea that Tom has verbally attacks kids without second thought cause he thought they were just short people

[@bruoche]

To be fair I think I've never seen as many child get accidently murdered then in DnD campains

[@ChihuahuainaTrenchcoat]

​@@bruochetrue, someone in my cos party accidentally squished a child to death

[@username172]

To be fair, children are just short people.

[@ANaturalMess]

Absolute menace

[@Bowtiedhillbilly]

I literally used this technique when the players ran afoul of a rival group of adventurers trying to free a dark god. In one of the combats, they killed one of the rivals, who turned out to be a young boy. As the story goes on they discover this rival group is just a family trying to resurrect their dead daughter/sister.

[@mitchellenderson7194]

“My boys are otherwise engaged” is the most relatable part for me, considering my parties are either a completely united front that cooperates flawlessly, or four raccoons with dice engaging in whatever shenanigans activated their single neuron first.

[@erikengerdenglish]

I'll tell you I have NEVER had a party where at a critical moment was NOT off on their own mcgyvering themselves into far deeper trouble

[@epicslayerguy99]

saaame. When it comes to combat there are two parties: "we know what we're doing, we work together and start punching above our weight class"... or "the paladin is picking flowers, the monk is being more useless than (insert useless character here) by trying to punch out the heavy melee, the fighter split from the group, the ranger/rouge is actually helping (but got separated because everyone is dumb) and everyone else is halfway across the map"

[@erikengerdenglish]

@@epicslayerguy99 yes, the last one is the group that would be much happier playing individual open world games on a PC

[@killsode4760]

​@@erikengerdenglish honestly, ive seen the same exact party do both in different encounters

[@epicslayerguy99]

@@erikengerdenglish we somehow made it work (through one or two characters being willing to sacrifice *all* of their hp to either delay or kill strong guys while the fighter eventually learned to play a tank)

[@ZekromAndYugiAndDrago123]

Imagine you're one of these Cloaked Figures. You come across a group of 3 adventurers. The Barbarian fumbles her greathammer onto the floor and the Rogue is hiding behind a bush, standing up. Meanwhile, the Bard is just.. staring you down, and you realize they're staring DIRECTLY and the Child you kidnapped. Oh shit. You realize they've begun casting a Cantrip... And then they absolutely destroy aforementioned child that you were positive they had been hired to find and rescue by calling them short, and in the stunned silence have begun LOOTING THE FUCKING CHILD

[@Princessbuttercupish]

rogue? I keep reading rouge as red

[@blu5907]

Asserting dominance early in the fight is key

[@lautre.]

i would quit

[@jahdielmelendez-medina7]

WHILE playing the flute.

[@donkylefernandez4680]

Called his J's fake and stole em anyways

[@vincenttavani6380]

Fun fact: because the chance of this progression of rolls happening is 1 in 3,200,000, we know divine providence intervened to inspire this song.

[@switters8679]

Fun Fact: The chance of LITERALLY ANY progression of rolls happening over the same amount of rolls (on a D20) is 1 in 3,200,000. You know what the chances of the barb rolling a 4, the rogue rolling a 9, then the bard rolling a 15, 16, then an 8? The same thing. It isn't the math that is the problem, it is the interpretation and application of the results. Trying to apply incomplete results with an incomplete understanding is always going to make you seem like an idiot. Good luck with that.

[@quille1606]

​@@switters8679🤓

[@syressx9098]

I know right? People love to pretend what they understand chances xD@@switters8679

[@Clouded-Logic]

@@switters8679 bro over here typing viscous mockery.

[@SupaDanteX]

Am I counting wrong or were 7 d20s rolled? 1, 1, 20, 1, 1, 20, 20? Because I hate to be that guy But I think that makes this 1 in 1,280,000,000

[@HJ-xw9yw]

“There’s no escaping it, I can perceive you.” Has me cackling so hard every time

[@Othras]

that and his little dance while singing "loot that body, loot that muthafucka-a-a" kill me

[@COAx4nge1killa]

The "you're a short muthafucka and nobody likes you *flute intensifies* SHORT!" has got me fucked up

[@tiggysuwu6773]

It sounded like he said so skibidi

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

@@COAx4nge1killa Legit

[@charlieoldaker2875]

The hand motion he does when he says "I can perceive you" is what really makes that line for me

[@billfisher3054]

I’ve watched this like 20 times. The line that gets me is when he’s like “me and my boys are gonna mess you up.” Immediately followed by “F***” it’s just perfect.

[@jespertobiassen9668]

It’s the immediate little toot after the Fuck! That gets me

[@puloguffeltefush7745]

same, been watching it pretty much every day since it went out, it's personaly the "loot that motherfucka" that gets me (makes me remember too many akward rp moments)

[@siriany]

@@puloguffeltefush7745 I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one listening it repeatedly. It's a shame it's not on his Spotify 😔

[@n8_is_gr8]

@@puloguffeltefush7745 "playin' the flute while I loot that dead kid's bod-aayyy". Absolutely kills me every time.

[@comyuse9103]

i have to rewatch it every single time, it is just so good. everyone who has played utility gets it.

[@SkorgeSlaps]

My favorite part is how confidently the DM says "You notice one is a little 'shorter'" heavily implying it's the child they've been looking for the whole time but it goes right over his head lol

[@brunopagnoncelli975]

for real, DM was expecting a normal response XD

[@tabatalarenas9163]

I’m sorry, but the “loot that body” part is my favorite thing of 2023… he is so happy, so excited… the “Im gonna loot that madafakaaaah” part is just unhinged… I love everything about this 😂

[@Toimu13]

I've watched this video a few times over the past 3 months. Had the song stuck in my head, so during my break at work I listened to the song again. I forgot about "loot that body!" it is one of the best parts!

[@MyFaultyThinking]

*"Please brave adventurers, help us! Our temples sacred macguffin is missing!"* Tom Bardy: "Have you checked your butthole?"

[@stephanymckellip3078]

Omg that’s amazing😂

[@CinnamonQuills]

SKI-DAP, BA-DAP

[@baronnexus8524]

​@@CinnamonQuillsBUTTHOLE

[@thesunwillneverset]

When the monk approaches me, clearly panicked, and asks if we've seen an artifact... I don't say it yet. When he elaborates on what the magical artifact looks like and emphasises its vital importance to their religion and god... I still don't say it yet.

[@MeriqulimStudios-MerrickRector]

@@thesunwillneverset And then he asks me, "Have you seen the artifact." I look at him in his face, and I say....

[@artyomartamonov3752]

"I rolled a 1; I rolled a 1; FUCK!" perfectly describes my Baldur's Gate 3 experience 😂

[@Anon12762]

ANSBBDBDJDN THIS IS THE REALEST COMMENT

[@aud7593]

every time the whole crew fails a perception check while exploring in bdg3 😭

[@AlbertoRam]

F8

[@cooldude999e99]

That’s my luck with everything

[@deandelvin9924]

This but Disco Elysium

[@Aries-ku8uk]

As a flute player I fully appreciate the chaotic energy this has. As a side note, the fake playing is /really/ good.

[@adamska118]

How many perception rolls did it take you to realise he's playing the flute on a drum stick!? 😂

[@andreww.3757]

More than I would like to admit.

[@basbarbeque6718]

Which just makes it that much funnier imo. This guy has all these instruments, and the knowhow to play them, but for some reason either lacks an actual flute to play, or probably has one but just didn't WANT to.

[@lore_shards]

😂😂 FUCK. well now I see it

[@audereestfacere983]

Ha, within first view...nat 20...lets go bitches 😂😂😂

[@Jixxyyy]

The amount of nat 1s for me...

[@thesnakeinurboot]

The split second look of realization on the GM's face before he says "Don't" cracks me up every time lmaoo

[@Zero_D_King]

how do you not have any replies with 1.9k likes 🤔

[@user-vu4fh7nm2t]

I like this part also, the wait what are you thinking face changes to, omg don't do it, but its done.

[@OneBiasedOpinion]

The IMMEDIATE realization on the DM’s part as soon as he says “yes” is disturbingly relatable. You can pretty much sense the avarice and curiosity radiating off your players when they ask questions like this and it’s almost as if they’ve shed their human guises and revealed themselves to be a pack of goblins in a trenchcoat the entire time.

[@enderhx]

😂😂😂

[@ansur1783]

It happens more times than i want to admit.

[@icetide9411]

I can confirm all of my characters are actually just several goblins in armor pretending, this is why we must take deceit bonuses all the time

[@marciocruz4758]

also it's hilarious how both say "child" at the same time

[@jonfehr6147]

I need to make this into a ring tone

[@Odstarva]

There is no way this is just 2 months old, I swear I've been listening to it for 5+ years and it's fully integrated as a part of my personality now

[@MeAnINFP]

It sounds like a song that would’ve birthed during the golden age of KZbin.

[@poguesmahone]

The line "it's always a kid" always gets me. As if this isn't the first time the bard has killed a kid.

[@tobeyg44]

The amount of storytelling this guy can do in 99 seconds is something else EDIT: I can't count

[@TheKastellan]

109 seconds

[@youdonotneedmyname2163]

fr

[@Claego]

threw me for a loop with that math. I thought you were right for a sec

[@angelaplays]

Ong

[@devinmontville1358]

Man rolled a 1 on the comment.

[@JustinChristensen6]

By far the absolute best part about this video is Tom playing a frigging drumstick like a flute and selling it so well that you didn't notice until you read this comment

[@rhiannablumberg4803]

100%

[@X-SPONGED]

Can't believe I failed my perception check without even realizing😔

[@QuoracTheBard]

Welp, you win the internet today.

[@KevinOnEarth_]

How dare you call me out like that.

[@marymystery4427]

Holy shit-

[@rotntv]

I humbly request this either be extended or a part 2 be made. I just need more of this greatness, either way!

[@aleksandram2060]

I need a 10 minute version at least 😂

[@iandooley7390]

Ok, know that I've listened to this ~1MM times, I've decided that my favorite part is when the DM is getting back into it after saying "let's slow this all down a bit." He leans forward, smiles, and is so proud of himself for this part. The whole thing is about to pay off and it makes him happy. Then... Vicious Mockery.

[@droganovic6879]

It's the fact that he *aggressively* plays the flute and yells "SHORT!" while looking like he's having an aneurysm 🤣

[@shadowscp1391]

SAME!

[@Jon3sy1990]

You mean he aggressively plays the drumstick 😂

[@droganovic6879]

​@@Jon3sy1990 lmao i didn't even pay attention to that Yes, i meant "he aggressively plays the *drumstick"* 😅

[@Jon3sy1990]

@@droganovic6879 hahaha it makes it even funnier doesn’t it haha 😂

[@Beanboi420]

The thumbs down to the child right into this was incredible

[@KitchenOnTheLeft]

I cannot begin to tell you how much the “*plays flute aggressively* SHORT!” part makes me cry-laugh every time I watch this

[@ashensilverwolf]

YES SOMEBODY ELSE GETS IT

[@dragonmudd]

I need a clip of just that part

[@brianshocklee2021]

It's a *VICIOUS* mockery, gotta go extra hard.

[@redacteddata]

@@brianshocklee2021 the best DM's base creative stuff on how creative the player is; and whether it's that creative and vicious or that creative and nice... still amplifies it. This guy plays four instruments at once somehow; sings, makes it fit the narrative, and rhymes on queue. That's not only a conscious nat 20 on creativity, but I might give it inspiration automatically as well. Meaning you're basically double critting a child's mind.

[@lills3879]

The constant breaks to play the flute is pure gold

[@iamjohnlocked2532]

I love how from the first Nat 20 the DM already knows this isn’t going to end well

[@AllanaRace]

I died a couple times during this, but specifically the: "Me and my boys are gonna mess you up" "I rolled a one" "I rolled a one" "FUCK" and "Specifically the child you and your party have been looking for for the past 15 days game time and five days of our actual lives" I felt the anger in that line. and the faces of the other party members.

[@eragonawesome]

That one *Fuck* is just so perfectly executed

[@ChemistryTasty8751]

"that is the child you've been looking for the past 5 actual days of our lives" this line, is too relatable to comprehend

[@kristophergreen1903]

😂😂😂

[@dowfreak7]

Shit reminds me of an online campaign I watched AGES ago, where a group of 4 dudes had trudged through one story over multiple campaigns, with huge breaks inbetween. Literal years go by. Then they find out some kid they met in the first few minutes of the very first adventure is kinda part of the mastermind's cronies and they just exchange 3 sentences, leave and never see that kid again. The most anticlimactic, wtf moment ever.

[@NoxLoch]

Every line in this is comedy gold. My personal favourites: “I can perceive you” “My boys are otherwise engaged”

[@DVIs101]

Mine is him shouting SHORT completely unhinged as a prequel to all the other nasty shit he's going to say about the cloaked figure. 😂

[@Preaplanes]

My favorite line is "Fuck."

[@g-unithalstensgard5610]

"SHORT!"

[@Mystic_elf137]

"Me and my boys gonna mess you p! I rolled a one, i rolled a one. FUCK"

[@stancal9249]

I love the appreciation for "I can perceive you". He gets super pumped about a successful perception check, which is just the fact that he sees them. It's like "oh HELL YEAH, MAN! You aint goin **nOwHeRe**, baby! I CAN SEE YOU SO HARD RIGHT NOW!"

[@Satherian]

The very solid and sincere "BITCH" really does wonders to cap off this masterpiece

[@theweirdoproject3172]

1:05 SHORT 😂😂😂 the look of intensity on his face kills me

[@puff222001]

Tom looks the absolutely happiest when he's gonna "loot that body" and his smile is contagious.

[@lanyakronberger6275]

"Loot that body" HAS ME ROLLIN 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@karen175]

@@lanyakronberger6275That’s a natural 20.

[@OrbitalSheep]

I'm seeing nobody else point this out: he only got the child, the bard just insulted the kid to death then looted his body while the other 3 watched him.

[@allanlomas5133]

Loot-tha-mothafackaaAAAAH!

[@sputnikdx]

The one person brave enough to point out vicious mockery prompts a saving throw and doesn't use an attack roll.

[@maxpower8549]

Thank god i scrolled through the comments, i was kinda distracted by that, you are a hero

[@raservesthedinner7620]

Nerds getting baited

[@FelixFFern]

Children are very sensitive.

[@rockleefanlj]

I was literally just about to post this exact thing 😂

[@tomcardy1]

Haha I know! I thought I was gonna get grilled last week by space people for Pluto inaccuracies, little did I know I’d be doing a song for the D&D community! My answer to this inaccuracy is: you try and make a song based on the motif “Nat 20 let’s go” and then find the space to change it to “they fail their wisdom saving throw and have disadvantage on their next attack roll”

[@Phoebe5448]

The fact that Tom Cardy not only plays D&D but is also a Bard, is peak to me.

[@ithaspockets4391]

This is such a master class in comedic timing. Amazing. It's been stuck in my head for two months nonstop. Cannot say enough nice things about this song and video (and subsequent animation).

[@ithaspockets4391]

I think my favorite tiny detail is the very slowly dawning realization that the short cloaked figure who just died is a kid and it hits him at the exact same moment the DM is explaining it because this always happens. Tom is doing four performances in this song and they're all top tier.

[@masteryoda5931]

Didn’t think I’d hear a song about a bard soloing an entire enemy encounter by mocking their height, but here we are. Amazing, Tom, as always

[@christianlavagne6838]

Imagine a team up with the bard who killed a dragon with Vicious Mockery from XP To Level 3^^

[@gauthierchabanne]

They were not even ennemies probably 😂

[@Priestofgoddess]

Did he solo them? He just killed the child they were looking for. They never adressed the other cloaked figures :)

[@crakrok]

genuinely hope this song gets the "mixed messages" treatment and Tom chooses to bless us with a new entire verse to the song about something entirely incongruous with the original topic

[@msthecommentator2863]

Maybe another verse where the DM had a backup plan in case Tom's bard did exactly what he did (feels he does this kind of shit every campaign with the way the DM reacts to all of his rolls) but Tom is an unstoppable force that can't be reasoned with and doesn't take 'no' for an answer

[@jatoarkanen4435]

Like punching that child's dad in the d*ck

[@blu5907]

Hear me out. Tom Cardy and Brennan Lee Mulligan in a movie as a bard and rogue going on an adventure.

[@dialest]

What I can't stop thinking about is that there's no pause between saying he'll be better and him asking about the body. He didn't apologize and then notice; he was already thinking about it.

[@Senriam]

You’re not just a bard. You obviously made a deal with an infernal patron to be capable of producing a bardic inspiration video so powerful as this.

[@tomcardy1]

Bard warlock love it

[@Gnorkadork]

@@tomcardy1 Bardlock

[@Senriam]

@@Gnorkadork “Ayy c’mere girl, lemme show you my eldritch blast”

[@icetide9411]

I mean, Warlocks do have high charisma

[@KitOfTheWeirdWoods]

Tom Bardy@@tomcardy1

[@GameOpus]

The fact the Bard already anticipated the DM saying Child when they both said it at the same time is hilarious.

[@havcola6983]

Yeah, it's like "Riiight, fucking kids, I keep forgetting about those!"

[@kyriltolbert]

@@havcola6983 John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

[@capcom65]

I didnt notice that detail until this comment!

[@zackmcclean7741]

"It's always a kid" implies that this isn't the first child he's murdered with Vicious Mockery.

[@korsekil]

@@zackmcclean7741 Every time he goes for the short guy and it's always a kid.

[@cybercrepidarian]

"But then the Doctor said" has no business going as hard as it does.

[@OriginalSasquatch]

After wathcing this 10 times while laughing just as hard each time, i realized... The bard is playing on a drum stick. Not a flute.. Best video ever.

[@shaden489]

Wow I even missed that then again I think it as too distracted by them rolling for vicious mockery for some reason

[@gullskjeggsoundwizardry]

As someone who worked on Baldur's Gate 3 (I did the flute version of the bard) and kept sending Tom vids to co-workers throughout the production of BG3, this is pretty amazing and made my day.

[@queenofdaggerstarot3060]

Thank you for your work! Flute is the only instrument I use with my bards, it's so beautiful. Letting me live out my flute playing dreams. Especially bard durge. That was the best run I've had!

[@BigVorst]

You've done some amazing work for the game, thank you. :D

[@cheyanne2951]

​@@queenofdaggerstarot3060I literally just started a Bard Drow Durge playthrough yesterday. Haha my headcannon is that she's a heavy metal bard. Lol

[@julilla1]

Great job! Thanks so much for lending your talent to my current bard play through!

[@GamerNationKing]

Can I just ask, who is the weasel who had the idea to let players SEDUCE THE DAMN BEAR!?

[@cc-ms5ud]

the way he sings "my boys are otherwise engaged" singlehandedly absolutely shattered my mind. nobody move. this is a masterpiece

[@Alpostpone]

Natural 20 on Perform

[@AndyMcKeeFanForLife]

The timing and delivery of that line was just perfection.

[@edeng-j7701]

moments like this is why I encourage my players to explain what they say/do to cast vicious mockery. They've been pretty creative with it xD

[@beast0339]

my favourite bit by *far* is: "Me and ma boys gonna mess you up" "I rolled a 1." "I rolled a 1." "Fuck." *toot* had me cry laughing omfg

[@bandiddums]

I didn't notice it the first few times watching it but I realized that the Dungeon Master looks a bit excited and he leaned in a bit when he was about to reveal the first perception check. I think that he was hoping the team would realize that it was the child they're looking for and had something special planned for the encounter before the bard ruined everything lol

[@Awsome2464]

You can definitely tell in his delivery of the "the child you've been looking for the past 15 days" line that he was incredibly annoyed, and I love it

[@lenaboyer6981]

Poor guy was so excited about the big reveal 😂😂

[@tortillachips3911]

He was so hyped 😂❤

[@justaperson4656]

Kinda his fault for having a plan as a DM /j

[@eldantass5576]

nice pfp

[@DecoyZ]

I just realised the DM never says they actually wanna harm them. The bard simply said it and everyone took it as fact, meaning this never had to happen in the first place

[@Bluecho4]

To be fair, the Barbarian player also assumes hostility, and chose violence.

[@Skunkanoid]

yes but they both rolled a critial fail so that cant have been what killed the child.@@Bluecho4

[@part-e7344]

​@@SkunkanoidThe critical fails could've done damage to the child since they were the party's goal. 🤷‍♂️

[@Skunkanoid]

but they rolled individually? only the bard was successful in his goal, even though they all had the same goal.@@part-e7344

[@DragonNexus]

​@Bluecho4 well yeah, cos he's the barbarian character =p

[@donnascookiemonster4655]

PLEASE MAKE A FULL VERSION!!!!!!!! I’ve been listening to this on repeat

[@Eejeww]

This is the full version

[@wangchi_]

I love how into the DM's narration the other 2 players are at the start, they're spellbound

[@spazzymcgee3466]

“You’re a short muthafucka and nobody likes you” *toots and flutily flutes* “SHORT!” Had me DYING on the floor

[@birdsforbrains2]

the most accurate part is the DM's long delay to say "yes" before immediately squeezing his eyes shut in pure disappointment 🤣

[@darenself635]

the realization of what he's going to do. "...Don't." 😂

[@Pudding404]

What did we learn? Gods fall and empires crumble to the power of NAT 20 "emotional damage" Vicious Mockery.

[@Geothesponge111]

I love that the Bard says "child" with the DM at 1:25, just figuring it out at that exact moment.

[@thomasfleming8131]

The follow up of "it's always a kid" raises worrying questions.

[@crakrok]

​@thomasfleming8131 What, you've never thought to spice up your stories with a dead kid?

[@OneBiasedOpinion]

You are a gift to society.

[@adambailey7932]

And how it is clearly not the first time this has happened.

[@emperorkiron3470]

The “loot that body” bit hits especially hard for me as a DM, I have a player who upon entering any new room or killing any enemy immediately tries to loot the room/corpse. They consistently roll low, so It always ends up being “you get four copper pieces and a twine of string” or something along those lines.

[@cptobvius]

The joke turned much less morbid than I thought it would considering we had a bard asking something that was about to disappoint the DM while casting a sly glance. I'm saying its nice he wasn't trying to fuck the dead kid.

[@Droopsnooot]

time to ring tone that shit

[@gabrielgroenendaal3007]

Why do you make them roll each time though? If there's no time constraint, and the corpses weren't trying to hide anything in hidden shoe compartments or whatever, shouldn't the players just find whatever there is to find?

[@greenredblue]

Aw c'mon, low rolls are golden opportunities. "You find three prophylactics and a sponge. Used." "While groping in the dark corners you feel a small sting. Please add one syringe to your inventory." "You find a parchment scrawled with a desperate plea for help. It promises epic adventure and rewards beyond counting. But before you can read too far your foot slips and land in mud. Please add 'ball of wet paper' to your inventory."

[@dbk-red-son]

@@gabrielgroenendaal3007 Roll for loot. AKA the loot is taken from a loot table, decided by what they roll. It's not a performance check of any kind, it's just "hey, roll for a number so i can tell you what spawned in the body" bc for most default enemies you're not going to build an inventory, thing you usually just do for important npcs

[@JimRuel]

Doesn't matter how many times I watch this - still hilarious and makes my day.

[@Avenger-kg5qc]

“It’s always a kid” which implies that this wasn’t the first time this happened

[@sarahtonin6367]

First time I heard that line I thought "...how many times has this happened to you, Tom?"

[@CACTINER]

The fact that the bard comes to the realization that it was a child at same time of the reveal like it’s a constant occurrence is simply icing on the punchline

[@ExpletoryPenguin]

I didn't notice that until I saw this comment, and that is positively hilarious. He nods to himself and mouths 'child' the same time as the DM 🤣

[@RandomEntry13013]

That cracks me up too, it's definetly not the first time this has happened. 😂

[@graymalkin7645]

The timing in this is everything. I love how in the same breath he goes from "I'll be better" to "so the body's just lying there, right?" Which is kind of the opposite of the foregone promise.

[@xCorvus7x]

That question initially almost sounds concerned.

[@alexanderbrady5486]

“It’s always a child” like this isn’t the first time.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

Looting the bodies of the dead in D&D isn't a moral issue, it's a pragmatic one. Dead bodies don't always stay dead; you don't want them getting back up with their stuff.

[@FiLtheThriL]

Great takes guys

[@kyleken8383]

Yeah you've heard of irony right.

[@izzylys]

i've watched this video approximately 742 times over the past five months, but today i watched it at my desk with my nice headphones for the first time and now have a whole other level of appreciation for it. thank you tom

[@iloveloonaandiforeverwill6494]

Perception check: Failed you didn't realize he was actually blowing a drum stick

[@RosileeJe]

I keep coming back to listen to this and I think my favorite part of the video is how excited the dm looks as he's like "Okay so one traveler is a bit *SHORT* like a certain someone you've been ~searching~ for and-" only for it to immediately be ruined. This poor man had so much hope, someone help him lmao

[@jessegax9898]

The smile of a DM who likes actually doing the job. Hurts to see it ignored haha.

[@json_bourne3812]

Hahaha he doesn't even get that far into the sentence! 😂 I love it so much

[@leovk5779]

"I cast vicious mockery!"

[@McLoveskey]

I found the forever DM lol

[@themocaw]

So we all know that Tom rolled an attack roll instead of asking the DM to make a saving throw because it's funnier to have his character bulldoze over the DM, but now that I think about it, Vicious Mockery used a Charisma attack roll vs. Will defense in 4e, and nothing in this song indicates that these guys aren't playing 4e instead of 5e.

[@her04life38]

It's in reference to bg3 which is based on 5e so DONT um actually me m8 im umm actuallying you and him

[@headcheese3]

I love how the part accompanying the kid is just chill with the bard looting the dead kid's body

[@matthewcampbell3146]

I love this detail. Viscious mockery is a crap spell, dealing at most 4 damage. A child in DnD has 4 hit points.

[@sambradley9091]

yes, but he rolled a 20 which is a crit which deals double damage, so as long as he rolled a 2 that child is fucking dead

[@nxtm4n]

Vicious Mockery isn't actually a spell with an attack roll. Also, the spell upgrades in damage as you go up in level - it could do as much as 4d4 damage, meaning a MINIMUM of 4 damage.

[@hitsugatatsuro9978]

​@@sambradley9091Technically, RAW is an extra dice for critting. I do believe the double damage rule is Matt Mercer's house rule for critting.

[@CottonyAlmonds]

​​@hitsugatatsuro9978 it's actually a real common house rule, but Mercer did massively popularise it. Mathematically, it increases the chances of extreme rolls in either direction quite a bit. Good for hype moments, but does actually lower the average advantage of critting in the first place overall

[@Sinnamonsters]

"crap spell" you really underestimate that disadvantage on attack rolls, huh?

[@freshteeth5805]

Your brain doesn’t COMPREHEND how FAST i clicked that notification.

[@shimmyshimster]

RELATABLE

[@tomdunn1512]

Same

[@eveningjaguar]

I came ASAP

[@StarkSpider24]

In spite of how he jumps the gun in a way that ruins good progress, I still admire the bards ability to roll with the punches when something happens 😆

[@CDriggers24]

The DM's face is so full of excitement when he mentions the short figure like "oh Tom's about to figure out that this is the Child" and then he just... doesn't 😂

[@sebastiancollins01]

Let's face it. Vicious Mockery would be banned in every civilized location. The idea you could just have some idiot whisper "yeah, but your mom"and you straight up die would tear the world apart as we know it.

[@codebracker]

It was self defence

[@sck8000]

Imagine being an NPC killed by a bard all because you don't have Sugondese as a known language.

[@comet.x]

the average commoner has 5 hp it takes 2 insults on average to fucking kill a guy

[@charlieterry8506]

whats Sugondese? is that in one of the new books? @@sck8000

[@oscaranderson5719]

@@codebracker”Witnesses claim you said ‘and I fucked your dad too’ in response to the victim saying their mother was dead. Is this correct?” “It is not, I said ‘Ligma.’” _Flipwick Togglenoggin was later sentenced to life for the murder of an ice cream vendor, a prosecutor, two bailiffs, and a particularly tall member of the jury._

[@tomcardy1]

Did you know I’m part of an actual D&D funny podcast "dragon friends"? It’s on streaming or wherever, I played music for a bunch of season and in the last few started playing characters. Check it out it’s very funny, especially the first bunch of seasons before I was there!

[@colinkerosky3520]

Hell yeah

[@carolyn888]

Tom!!! Where's the link or name of the podcast so we can follow? 🫠

[@carolyn888]

Is it called dragon friends?

[@andrewjerome8729]

​@@carolyn888yes

[@whysomy]

dragon friends? no way! i’m planning on running the dragon friends one shot “gribbits detective agency” with my family! haven’t listened to the podcast but definitely have to now!

[@PurpletracksStudios]

For some reason 'SHORT' takes me out every time.

[@SHADOWofJUSTiCE]

this critical hit me with Hideous Laughter... i've been prone for hours...

[@thegreatsaxtonian]

I hope to god this gets a full version for the next album, I want to hear the extended adventures of Tom Bardy

[@Fluffyudders]

All of my this. Annoying I can only like the comment once.

[@odysyr]

I've watched this around 20 times, how did it take me this long to realise Tom's "playing" a drumstick!?

[@awaredeshmukh3202]

I've been playing this on repeat for days and I didn't notice at all XD

[@cagallikushina]

OMG it is!! Been watching this on repeat but never realised it's not a flute 😂😂😂

[@joshuamulvaney792]

Rookie numbers lol

[@snapeinvader6208]

Your brain is a master of filling in the details.

[@msthecommentator2863]

My wife pointed this out on our tenth or so watch and my mind was blown

[@cookiesyruplover]

The fact that it abruptly ends makes me replay this endlessly. Just can't get enough of that sick flute playing.

[@fanfictogirl7178]

tubbo has got me obsessed with this, i come back to it like every other day or so

[@JaakuSan]

I just keep hitting play again and laughing. The fact that the other party members had to reiterate that they Crit Failed their rounds because he wasn't paying attention is too accurate.

[@msthecommentator2863]

Barbarian: **great hammer stuck in a tree after she flung it too hard over her shoulder** Rogue: **tripped and ate shit attempting to hide behind a tree** Tom's bard: "We got em by the ass, fellas!"

[@jcudejko]

I love that "I rolled a one I rolled a one" F

[@leovk5779]

I don't keep hitting play. I simply put "play on repeat" immediately, while I lurk in the comment section.

[@Secret65548]

I took it as they rolled another one when rolling for action. The bard is soaking up all the luck 😂.

[@NickC_222]

"His body's just lying there, right? Right?" "Yes... Don'-" "LOOT THAT BODY!" These are my people. Never change, man.

[@lenaboyer6981]

The DM’s suspicious glare as he’s trying to figure out why the bard asked that question is amazing

[@Crackheadcentral2188]

“LOOT THAT BODY!”

[@kelpklepto]

I listen to this once every couple of days. It recharges me.

[@natefort7294]

This song lives rent free in my head, we need a full album.

[@jacksfacts20]

I don’t know why but the “lets fucking go” after the first Nat 20 is the most realistic reaction to a Nat 20

[@3takoyakis]

He got nat 20 THRICE

[@generalagondray]

@@3takoyakis Trice nat 20 is better when its like a single action like an attack, you end up one hitting anything your attacking. You end up going from sure hit, to critical hit, to coup. Did that to a giant i shouldn't have been able to 1 hit. Paladin among the orcs and ogers running through attacking the town you see hill giants in the distance attacking the city walls. I move into Position for the giant who broke his club to return. He returns wielding a tree for a new club. I roll nat 20 (you hit roll again) Nat 20 double (roll again) Nat 20 (the giant has now dropped his club is desperation of trying to hold his guts, btw you are now covered in giant guts as he sees you emerge from them before his eyes roll back into his skull and he falls back)

[@Croob22]

But the question now, Tom is, how far into Baldur's Gate 3 are you?

[@tomcardy1]

Not even up moonrise baby, it’s a slow burn

[@redhairedsalvien]

Sort your shit out Tom, many vicious mockeries to be cast…

[@Taurusus]

How fuckin' good is it tho

[@stellaroj]

I've never played D&D. This is the best song that I've ever heard.

[@crimsoneclipse5677]

I shall listen to this on repeat in order to properly harness the ability to play a chaotic bard

[@HexIsme]

I'm a 5'10" woman dating a 5'4" man... thanks to this song, every time I glance down at him when we're standing next to each other, I hear Tom Cardy aggressively yelling SHORT!! in my head and have to make an effort to keep from busting out laughing. It's like Tom is bullying him from the furthest recesses of my mind.

[@lenaboyer6981]

😂😂😂 that “SHORT!!!” is so aggressive I love it

[@AziSlays]

Relateable! Im 5'8" & my bf is like 5'1"

[@arkking552]

You didn’t have to say “glance down at him” 🤣

[@TyroneCLove]

Hope he realizes he can do better.

[@HexIsme]

@@TyroneCLove Oh no! An internet stranger said something mean! .... Anyway

[@SonicKing84]

Tom finally realizing that his antics are accurate to a typical Bard PC is the greatest thing I have witnessed all week.

[@noahrii]

I can't stop coming back to this song every time xD

[@greatwhitecatcher]

I love that "It's always a kid" implies that he just regularly goes around casting Vicious Mockery on short people and the victims are often children. Fucking gold.

[@DestructivelyPhased]

DM: this person is slightly shorter than the others. Bard: I brand you the shortest person who has ever existed.

[@conradleviston]

And from now on every D&D campaign is going to have at least one bar of "Loot that body" sung at some point in it for the next 20 years.

[@Feenixfire90GamingTFG]

This and Bethesda games. Loot that body is always an option in those games.

[@msthecommentator2863]

I've been replaying through Stick of Truth and the amount of times I sing, "Playing my flute when I loot that dead kid's body" is astronomical 😂

[@GlitchBoy-ws5in]

POV : You're Lucifer

[@JudeWasHere17]

u saw the Alastor video didn’t *YOU*

[@GlitchBoy-ws5in]

@@JudeWasHere17 r e a l

[@Big_Dai]

Amazing This crew of 1 or 20 rollers should become a weekly thing. This Bard is just too funny and talented

[@zTom_]

"My boys are otherwise engaged" is a wonderful turn of phrase. 😂

[@IrishGirlAnseo]

"A child" "It's always a kid" He's done this before 😂

[@prayformercy4029]

And hell do it again.

[@L0NGSH0T808]

Why yes, I have seen this many times. Will see it many more. Side note: even though he only needs to switch and hold different characters briefly, his acting is still noteworthy. JMHO.

[@sdcurry2]

"I rolled a one." "I rolled a one." "Fuck." I lost it. Too real

[@redbeardsteelskin6723]

The idea of the bard player actually playing their instrument during the game is so fantastic. That's another song for the playlist :D