Using Your 6th Function To Break A Loop - Part 4 (INFJ - ISFJ - ESFP - ENFP)

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk with guest host Christian Rivera about using your 6th cognitive function in your stack to break a loop. This episode (Part 4) covers the INFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, and ENFP personality types.
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[@ivykazan5220]

*IxFJ* Ni-Ti/Si-Ti loop. 6th function is Fi (validates everybody's individual subjective human experience) 4:00 In this loop Hyper critical Ti to yourself or others (that they're not socially acceptable). IxFJ in a loop doesn't make space for humans' uniqueness. 07:14 Misused Ti may make the criteria for getting into my world so tight that no one can get in. Fi broadens the criteria, understands that everybody's got uniqueness and it need to be validated. 8:58 the IxFJ's resistance to Fi is that it's selfish and they think you shouldn't be that. If they make space for Fi they can allow themselves and others to be a bit selfish (good thing) and less critical. And then go Fe will kick in and they'll start thinking of people and themselves in terms of compassion rather than criticism 10:45 use individuation of your thoughts to get to individuation of your identity 13:18 *HACK* : look into the mirror and tell yourself the criticisms that you tell yourself or others. Notice the changes in your body and facial expressions. Catalogue these feelings. Listen to songs that help to get into those feelings to wash them out. 15:10 what's my motivation to criticize? Fi helps to answer why you do what you do. Fi is the access point back to Fe. So Fe will start accept more people, ideas etc. Overtime with developing Fi you start to understand your identity: what motivates me, who am I and you will build a real relationship with yourself, not just understand who you are as reflected by others. *ExFP* (18:00) Ne-Te/Se-Te loop. 6th function is Fe. In this loop ExFP dehumanize people, being too goal-oriented , too impersonal, bulldozing. 20:35 when looping we use the 2nd function in service of the 3rd. So we avoid it unless it's useful. IxFJ criticize people for not being socially acceptable: Fe is used to serve the criticism of Ti. ExFP use their understanding of Fi (what motivates people) to manipulate them into getting something done. They also may trick themselves into thinking they have good motivation for it 26:20 *HACK* : send a text "I appreciate you because..." with the only goal to humanize that person, get a hug or something, tell them "if I'm in this state get me out of it", take care of your unmet needs and something something. 30:50 long term benefit of Fe for ExFP is better relationships, and you become more impactful. *Review* 31:37 the pattern of using 6th function for different types: 1)for sensing functions (ISxP, ESxJ): brings reality check. 2)intuitive functions (ENxJ, INxP): brings possibilities, meaning, implications 3)thinking functions (ExTP, IxTJ): helps depersonalize and create distance 4)feeling functions (ExFP, IxFJ): helps reconnect to humanity 32:42 It's important to develop 1st and 2nd functions first and only then go to 6th function for more nuanced development 34:59 our 2nd function is a path of liberation

[@vixenvalenzuela]

I’ve been stuck in this loop for so long now that I’ve wondered why I always seem to have people at an arms length, I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m now taking responsibility for my part, all of the friends that I wanted to get closer have been so receptive to this new way of my being they are constantly asking me to go over and just hang out just because, they are offering to take me out to dinner just because, breaking out of this loop has completely changed my life. Thank you so much for sharing this

[@vixenvalenzuela]

It was like they loved my unique perspective, they love my philosophical outlook on life as an INFJ, there were many things that they loved about me however I felt like I was constantly hurting them by not allowing them to completely get close to me due to my lack of understanding of what true intimacy was. However they stuck in my life and never completely gave up on me and I’m seeing now my good qualities that they see but I’m also seeing the negative ones

[@hopeinhumanity.]

My roomate is an enfp. Recently wanted to continue working on a personal project (not paid work) that’s been going on for the last four years. This required people he was working with coming into the home and using bathroom facilities and during a growing number of virus cases in our city . I have an autoimmune so I’ve been extra careful and mindful. I can say I was taken back by what I felt as thoughtfulness into this decision esp when the project wasnt imperative at this time. I wasn’t consulted on the decision. And I felt like his goals appeared to take precedence over someone else’s well-being. When I make decisions I ask myself how will it affect those around me. So I suppose I was perplexed by the others thought process especially after taking in as many variables and perspectives I possibly could.

[@BenTheMiller]

Why does this make so much sense thank you

[@Tumi_2000]

I have a friend who I think is in an ni-ti loop right now Understanding personality really creates room for compassion

[@maryann2600]

I did love this podcast. Need to re-listen.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

28:55 great real-life example. I’m an ESFP married to an ENFP. We are both super guilty of these moments of using urgency to make something happen. We’ve really worked on that and are finding that our family is so much more likely to be on board when we slow down a bit and take into consideration what we are actually doing.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

Christian- this episode HAS been a banger! I have loved listening to this. Thank you 🙏

[@w0j-tech394]

13:25