Pissed Off Part 2: When you know, but you don't know you know, or you don't want to admit you know.

Sometimes your gut knows but your brain hasn't gotten on board yet. Or, your brain is in line with your gut, but YOU don't want to acknowledge it. This video is a few days later than I had intended because - I didn't want to acknowledge that I knew what to do. Record the damn video. What are you avoiding that your gut knows to be true?

[@ΜΑΡΙΑΛΕΝΑΣΤΑΜΑΤΑΚΗ]

I hesitated to write this message because I am 37 years old. Last year I had a big blockage in my plans, after two years of efforts. Now I am feeling confused and I can't take a decision about what to do in my life. I know that I don't like the place that I live anymore. I have changed a lot the last years I think. I am in the messy middle, as you said. Greetings from Greece! ☘️

[@bold-women]

Thank you for your note. I'm glad you pushed through your hesitation. Confusion is understandable given that what you thought would be, is not. That leaves a big, fat hole. It can take a while to set a new direction - and even longer to make sure that new direction is in alignment with your values and your true self. Get to know your true self and make sure you are clear on your values in life so, when you consider new directions you can make sure they are all in alignment. Journaling and meditation/mindfulness practices will help you deepen your self-awareness. Good luck to you. I'm glad you're here. ❤️

[@Progressivelyyou]

I feel you friend. I'm 37 and going through the same thing. I'm now questionnig everything, where I lived, the work I do (and put up with), my environment, etc. So many things feel wrong, and I dont even know which way to go first. I'm jammed in place.

[@ΜΑΡΙΑΛΕΝΑΣΤΑΜΑΤΑΚΗ]

You are welcome. Yes, I feel pretty disappointed because my efforts have gone wasted. But I begin to realize that everything happens for a reason. Getting to know myself is necessary so that I can make the right decision and not set just a goal with pressure. I consider myself lucky to have found people like you on the Internet, with a different perpective. Good luck to you, too! 🌷

[@ablanccanvas]

Yeah… 🤔 I think we can be in that “messy middle” part for a good chunk of our life. Yet this is not a part that we even like to acknowledge or talk about… bcos… you know… it’s messy. But these ‘transition zones’ are where a lot of our personal growth happens. Where you might not know whether you should “zig or zag”. We are, I think, mostly programmed in life, to be in a ‘certain state’, 🤔 or maybe in a ‘state of certainty’ because who wants to hear your story of ‘wishy washiness’… no one really. Although, I do think that’s changing. That is ‘our personal journey’ + a place where we need to figure things out. We should go easy on folks in this space, awakening to themselves, knowing that sometime… many times… we will be in the same spot. ♥️ Great post!

[@bold-women]

Yes, Yes, Yes. Thank you for your note. The reason this in between state is so messy is because it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable because, as you say we aren't in control, no certainty or direction. Our brain is all about keeping us settled and safe and works to get us there whether it's in alignment with who we want to become or not. It doesn't care. It just wants to gitterdun. I hope the culture is changing so people looking for something different in life are not looked at as woo-woo when taking the time to do the work needed to figure things out. If we're lucky, we WILL be in the messy middle at times. If we're really lucky we'll recognize it and not race to the next thing blindly, but with self-awareness. I'm glad you're here. ❤️

[@OneyhayAdgerbay]

I’m almost 66 and taking care of my parents. My Mom has dementia and my Dad has macular degeneration. I feel like I’m in total limbo right now. You seem like someone I’d like to be friends with

[@bold-women]

Thank you for your note. I totally understand where you are with the parental care responsibilities. I helped my Mom care for my Dad until the end. Then my Mom was diagnosed with dementia and my sister and I cared for her until her end. In total it was a span of 7 years. It was one of the hardest 7 years of my life yet the most rewarding in hindsight. When you're in the middle of it, it can be excruciating. Sending hugs from France. I feel you. ❤️

[@eddaly4160]

This messy middle thing is very interesting. I think I'm living threw this now as a retirement age guy...many things that were important in the past are not as important now...seems like we need to reprioritize things...also I don't think retirement is like going on vacation...it's transitioning to something else...hopefully more good stuff :-) Cheers!

[@bold-women]

You're exactly right. What was once an important value or objective in life when you're 20, 30, 40 isn't part of your quest when you're 60. The 'rule book' for our 20s, 30s, 40s, is part of the cultural conscious and part of our programming. The rule book for our 60's is still part of the cultural consciousness of our parents' and grandparents'. For those of us who don't want to stop and settle down to a quiet life centered around kids, grandkids, and knitting - we are swimming upstream a bit. It is turning into a movement, like smoking to not-smoking, from women focusing on the domestic front to working along side men as equals, from walking into a bank to get your money to flashing your smart phone or watch to pay for your coffee (separated by the ATM in the middle). Being in your 60s and 70s and older will eventually be a non-issue; just another respected and included demographic. Eventually. Thanks for your note. I'm glad you're here.

[@valeriecp4883]

Thank you for doing what you knew you should do. It is inspiring me to do the same (I’m also afraid 😊)

[@bold-women]

You are so welcome! One foot in front of the other. ❤️❤️ ❤️ I'm glad you're here.

[@chriscampbell8948]

Can’t wait to hear more. I know exactly WHAT I want/need to do. Fear of financial insecurity has me FROZEN

[@bold-women]

That frozen feeling is quite familiar. If you know what you think you want, run it through your value system. When what you want conflicts with something you value, you'll feel like you can't make a move. You mention financial insecurity - so that's the value in your case. Is it a fear of being homeless and on the street? Or, is it a fear of not being able to take the cruise to the Greek islands next summer? Get specific about your non-negotiable and then decide what you can do to take a small step that will move you forward but not risk your non-negotiable. Sometimes feeling frozen is actually you processing the gut feelings into actual words so you know what the hell to do. Sometimes it's just fear of making a mistake. Good luck ton you! Thanks for your note. ❤️

[@cab26]

❤

[@YourForestFairy]

Very true... if I think back to the times I ignored that gut feeling... but it just meant that I was putting off the inevitable!!

[@bold-women]

Isn't that the truth! In 2015 I moved, after yet another major change. Unpacking I found journals going back to 1985. Looking through them I was sickened to notice a common thread recurring over and over. THIRTY YEARS. I threw all the journals in the dumpster and it was another 9 years before I had the self-awareness and the courage to acknowledge what my gut had known for almost 40 years. FORTY years! OMG. Better late than never. Thank you for being here, Ms. Forest Fairy.

[@mandy5370]

Thank you, these are really helpful.. you look great by the way 😊

[@bold-women]

I'm glad you're here. Thank you. ❤️

[@brunfree]

Actually I started something today, yep I know it’s the right time now. 😊

[@bold-women]

Yay you! Congratulations. ❤️

[@msoroosh616]

Hi I am ur 1 k subscriber🎉😊

[@bold-women]

Yay!

[@margarethoadley9525]

Yep....Pisstified! Missed off and mystified about what to do to sort things out😢 Thank you. Great message.❤❤❤

[@bold-women]

I love it, pisstified. Good one. It's not easy, for sure. My first suggestion is always to get to know yourself better so you make decisions based on your truth. That's why the journalling, etc. Deepen your self awareness, first. Then self-compassion and love. It may sound like dribble, but it is THE way to sort things out. Good luck to you. I'm glad you're here. ❤️

[@msoroosh616]

Congrats on 1 k sub. Keep up the good work. Tina😊

[@bold-women]

I can't believe 1000 have signed up here. It's really humbling. AND it confirms my thoughts that I could not be the only one to feel these things. Thanks for your note, Tina and congratulations on being # 1000! ❤️

[@noramyett6422]

I am interested in your prompt list but i can't seem to find it.

[@bold-women]

bit.ly/3XJuVnd Here it is. Thanks for the note!

[@bb581]

Wow! I completely get it! Messy middle is for sure different now. I turned 48 and I’m just shocked about my feelings.Not my first crisis but this one is different.I feel paralyzed with fear.Sitting with my feelings is what I’m doing to understand this but oh boy! What a ride. Need to buckle up 😂 Thank you for doing this! I greatly appreciate your videos! Great job! Sending big hugs to all of you 🤗

[@bold-women]

That's the best thing you could have said, "sitting with my feelings is what I'm doing to understand this..." It took me so long to be able to do that without trying to DO something to FIX it. Yay you. Keep a journal, if you're not already. Good luck to you. I'm glad you're here. ❤️

[@Progressivelyyou]

Ugh, I'm there now, but have no idea where to go, where or what to start. I'm in a whirlwind of disatisfaction.

[@bold-women]

You are in what I call "the loop" - despair; trying something new; disapointment; despair; trying something new; disappointment... It's like being in a washing machine spin cycle. You're just stuck and can't get out of it. For me, to break the loop I had to spend time with myself - lot's of quiet time with honest reflection. It mights sound counter-intuitive but you want to hear yourself - not that voice in your head but the knowing in your gut. Deepen your self-awareness, first. Then you'll have better ideas of where to go and changes that are needed in order to figure out the first steps. Good luck to you. I'm glad you're here.

[@Progressivelyyou]

@@bold-women Beautifully spoken, I will take time, I have to, and never do. Thanks for the reply, so appreciated ❤️