Planned Family Vacation From Months But At Very Last Moment They Gave My Ticket To My Druggy Brother

[@karenhathaway9028]

Why does OP's family think it's ok that the person who arranged and paid for the trip doesn't go ??????

[@etacas1412]

What a family, sheesh.

[@robingibson6561]

They're f'ed up, point blank. They purposely wait until it was too late for OP to cancel everything to excluded him from something he planned and PAID for. Unbelievable, smh

[@lostharmony27breaker98]

thats what I dont get why he wouldnt just cancel for everyone

[@Dreamerlighting]

This is messed up !!! Mega messed up

[@AofFL]

Entitlement

[@jackchop1576]

Instead of wasting that money on a vacation, he should've just moved out. I wouldn't want to live with an active drug addict or their solar system of codependents enabling them.

[@carlosravanellisousarios910]

So true, OP lacks a spine

[@NessaEllenesse]

OP could not get his money back

[@sierraguru6942]

​@@NessaEllenesseHe must have had other money if his parents were trying to borrow six grand. And he needs to get laid which he can't do in his childhood bedroom.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Just because his parents wanted to borrow six grand, doesn’t mean he had six grand, though, does it? He refused. Maybe not because he didn’t want to fund anymore of their vacation. Maybe he didn’t have it? Maybe he did have it, but refused the send it because he already had plans for his new place in the pipework.

[@sierraguru6942]

@@juliemcgugan1244 Maybe he just said no because he'd already paid for a vacation they didn't want him on and was losing a month's pay to sit at home as a result. If people treat you badly you're under no obligation to let them continue to take advantage even if they're family.

[@seshasatyakrishna5016]

Op is the biggest door mat I've heard of in the recent days.. hope he comes out of that phase

[@largol33t12]

He doesn't have a chance because he's such a door mat.

[@HomeMain]

This is spot on. If OP is a real person and this story is true, whatcha want to bet he's either dead by his brother's hand or still being used as a servant/ATM for his so called family.

[@lisadelgado228]

I hope he realizes they made him a fool

[@msjay5084]

I would have moved out that month they were overseas on vacation & never looked back. You paid for the trips & everyone excluded you. You are the ah for staying there to keep being belittled & letting them expect you to pay for everything!

[@frosthounded]

This really would have been the right move

[@user-hr5pc3rt2n]

OP when are you going to realize you are only the family ATM and are no further use to them. Please get out of there and move far away and leave your family to do their thing.

[@dulcilass]

Right When is a family not a family? When they are toxic as hell and think someone like OP is their ATM. OP, your family gives you headaches which is a sure sign that they not loving, caring, or decent people. Get away from them quickly as "gaslight" is not good for your mind, body or soul. Being around your family causes you stress, creating anger and fear in you. Find another family of friends who will treat you like decent people should.

[@outbackfirefly1154]

He had a month to move and still look after those pets or place them in boarding kennels. After moving out, no contact with anyone who excluded him. Not a big deal according to his cousin.

[@flamelily2086]

OP's family is appalling! How could they have the nerve to exclude OP from a vacation that he paid for? Why is his family favouring the drug addict brother who isn't making the slightest effort to recover from his addiction? The family members on his mom's side can pay for his family to return! OP was right to let thrm struggle. OP needs to get away from his family and let them stew in their own juice.

[@nooneofimportance2110]

I'm more pissed off that OP hasn't sent them the bill for the vacation.

[@karinaashmon]

He needs to send them a bill or let them get on the plane then cancel everything else. Let them get there and have mo place to stay or anything to do. Let them have the junkie and see.

[@YayWei320]

They’re mad that OP “left them stranded”, when they literally left OP stranded at home from a vacation he planned?! The family makes me so unbelievably angry. Chad’s mental illness isn’t his fault, but it is his responsibility. He’s not even trying to get better, and the whole family is somehow deluded that OP is the bad kid in all of this? I’m so confused…

[@Allantitan]

Like they say “don’t bite the hand that feeds you

[@RavenKnighthawk]

Not just planned,....PAID FOR.

[@sierraguru6942]

You can't help an addict get better if he doesn't want to get better.

[@iswearinveggie5394]

This right here

[@raybanks4446]

Why didn't OP just didn't move out. If he could sponsor a family vacation for a month on the other side of the world then surely he can just get his own place

[@chayah_luv]

This why OP’s brother hasn’t changed because of his family enablers.

[@MrJanglooos]

This story is a huge example of “what will people say”. The whole family is a drama unfolding on an hourly basis!

[@KandNSmith]

You’re not the AH OP, the best way to handle this is to go on your own and take care of yourself. I’ve dealt with addiction, and the best thing to do is let them hit rock bottom to realize they need to make a change in their life instead of believing they are entitled to do what they want with your kindness. If you continue to give, give, and give they will expect you always to come to the rescue. You need to get independence for your self you won’t stress out so much. Trust me. 👍

[@brandypebler2054]

I've been clean and sober for 9 years and it took being at rock bottom to stop if my family had enabled me I wouldn't have stopped

[@KandNSmith]

Same here it’s been 9 years since I’ve been sober I also had to hit rock bottom being homeless in Oregon for 4 years and with the grace of God I had a chance to make my life worth living. Live and learn.

[@KandNSmith]

I’m proud of you 👍 too God bless you

[@krystalfloods6197]

OP should’ve immediately canceled everything the moment they found out they were replaced! What a doormat

[@cherylsorrell74]

It's very clear that Chad is a bit of a golden child to their parents and the parents are enablers. What family in their right mind would make the person who paid for the vacation stay home while they take the drug addicted brother who did nothing but cause issues! That just blows my mind. Glad OP is moving out!

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Idiot parents, that's the kind of parents that do that.

[@elincarlsson6388]

Why not just cancel everything and get a refund? I'd do it in secret, give them a real flightnumber (but fake tickets) that was early departure, so they'd go to the airport super early and then get denied entry at security check, having to go back past everyone. And also no contact with all of the family forever.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Because his Mother only kicked him out of the vacation three days before they were leaving. The deadline for changes or refunds had long since passed. OP already checked with them, before the deadline. They kept quiet, because they wanted to force him into this. They knew he would cancel on them if he knew what they planned and they wanted to get their way. The question to ask is, how to morally bankrupt, emotionally abusive people like this exist without anyone in their extended family pulling them up about it? Answer is probably that they are just as bad as OP’s immediate family. Abuse begets abuse. I hope OP eventually removes himself from this and breaks the cycle.

[@kathymills3476]

Story #1: OP, you owe your ungrateful family ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! You paid their AIRFARE, LODGING, AND I'M ASSUMING SOME ACTIVITIES. They then SHAFTED YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN VACATION, TAKING YOUR DRUG ADDICT BROTHER, CHAD, WHO DOES NOTHING BUT CAUSE ONE PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER.

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Yeah, he needed to send them the bill for the vacation since you know ... HE PAID FOR IT!!!

[@LadyGeckoFoot]

This 100%

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Drug addicts enthralled in the throws of addiction are not welcome to access to money or anything that can be stolen and traded/sold. It’s too dangerous with temptations around when they can’t control themselves. He sounds like a monster IMO

[@Animeaddiction]

OP's family called him selfish for leaving them stranded. Well, they didn't have any problems leaving him at home and go on a vacation that was PAID by him. So yeah, that's their problem.

[@BeverlyNaquin]

I’d tell her I’ll never loan them a single dime and I’d not claim them as family any more.

[@hvymax]

OP should have blamed Mom for Brothers Condition. Tell her to stay home with him

[@susangamble6888]

Good stand up for yourself

[@katherineelhagar9737]

Why are you still living at home . You need to move as far away as possible.

[@hvymax]

OP should have eaten the cancellation fees or find a few girlfriends to take and leave the family behind.

[@daishawilliams8301]

Op cut off the family😮

[@zeoinfinitneospace2134]

He should. If there's no family about love. Or support you. Then don't see them ever again.

[@torgiebride8558]

"You're ruining the vacation, just get over it!" My response: "Oh, you mean the FAMILY vacation I solely paid for and then got kicked from? I'm within EVERY right to ruin the vacation because I. Paid. For. It." 🤦‍♀️😡

[@brianjones3760]

I was an addict myself. Everywhere I went, i left a trail of destruction even tho i never tried to. You can't help an addict help themselves. It doesn't work

[@ravenfox926]

I'd have sued them for any money I lost from the trip. And SCREW CHAD! I've known too many like him to feel much pity.

[@Kristen70365]

I'm glad that OP had the chance to go on a trip with his colleagues.

[@vickilundy7089]

Cancel all reservations and get as much of your deposits back as possible and let them all fly there to have no reservations when they get there.

[@dawny2985]

Oh my gawd! that family was just like mine. I had a drug addicted brother like OP. He stayed in their house, screamed and fought with my parents (his favorite was yelling downstairs for everyone to be quiet in the middle of the day to be quiet because he was sleeping. He would be gone for days and my parents would be worried about him. He could never keep a job. He would call in the middle of the night for my father to come get him because he ran out of gas. The ending was he was found in his car dead. Cause of death, enlarged heart and cocaine...

[@Noboybutyou]

NTA! Serves them right for kicking you off a trip you paid for then they tried to gaslight you into feeling guilty after they shot themselves in the foot.

[@elizabethbrokenbourgh-walt1533]

CNcel all the tickets....they don't deserve it

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Personally, I’d rather cancel it all and lose the money, rather than watch those scam artists enjoy the holiday I planned.

[@elizabethbrokenbourgh-walt1533]

OP.....go on your own.. cancel their hotels...cancel everything

[@seashellstt]

This story pisses me off so bad omg. the urge to throw the phone across the screen is real and I'm just halfway through! OP also needs to learn how to stand up for himself gossshhh

[@susangamble6888]

Never ever pay for your family to go on trip

[@Gems-of-Hope-Rocks]

If I pay for a trip then IDC what "the whole family" says, I'm going. If they don't like it then they can stay home, without me.

[@nicholawebster6184]

To move just 10 minutes away......nah his family deserves hours away distance.

[@julife.ka.3899]

OMG THE SPIDER!

[@rockaddicthamburg8599]

I'd have have gone on that vacation myself, and alone if they didn't want to come. But I'm sure, at least a few of them would have come, if he stayed firm. My money, my trip.

[@benjaminwood5620]

I am actually a little pissed off with OP. If I was in this situation, and the entire family did this to me 1.) I would be sending them each an invoice for the portion of their ticket / accommodation. 2.) I would have moved out there and then, and cut all.contactnwith every single person. 3.) spread the word around the town, and explain exactly what the entitled family all did. Believe me, if all the neighbour's werento discover what the family is actually like they would be mortified. 4.) Your employer not allowing you to come back to work, fine I quit. Go look for something else elsewhere. 5.) Tell your parents that the junkie is all theirs now and that they no longer have 2 sons. They can deal.with his BS. But I do have to agree, the OP let them all walk all over him. Bugger the expense, cancelation entire trip. If they want to go let them pay themselves.

[@RogerBondie]

tell the whole family to duck off. and cancel the whole thing

[@samanthalacroix2687]

I had two brothers who were addicts. I don't have them anymore and I don't miss them one bit. I regret what could have been but they made their choices and I couldn't do anything to change it.

[@beebee0417]

Someone gave an alcoholic a job making cocktails 😂😂😂

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Right?! It reminds me of another story, saying that that is like giving a pyromaniac a job in an explosives factory! LOL! Worst idea in the world.

[@RavenKnighthawk]

He wasn't an alcoholic. He was a drug addict. Two completely different things. Yes both can be addictive but not all drug users are alcoholics and not all alcoholics use drugs.

[@markwagner4909]

It is best to distance yourself from your brother, we have been there with my brother and it’s not worth your efforts to help your brother

[@CareyBilley]

I feel so bad for OP, I grew up in a family of narcissists and I eventually had to go no contact with family except my mother who was also a witness to everything but didn't do much (self preservation) we only talk once a month to make sure everyone is still alive otherwise I want nothing from any of them. It even led me to go no contact with anyone and spend my life peaceful but alone because I don't really trust anyone.

[@tracygardner6318]

I would yell back at them I paid for the trip. You kicked me out at the last minute and you expect me to cover your butts because you didn’t bring enough money. No I will not put up with that. You put yourself in that situation all because you want your golden child to be there well you got your wish. And with that wish comes consequences. I am not someone you can walk over like that.

[@noxumbra173]

OP needs to move out and go no contract with family.

[@annewilliams5527]

OP, how, in the name of Heaven, did your family expect to go on a month’s holiday without SAVING any money??? Was it always their plan to get YOU to pay , even if you weren’t there???? Oh, oh, oh, no , of course, the golden boy(dear Chadders - sarcasm!) would stand his hand!!! What a load of total NUMPTIES. I’m just making my way through this, I think I may just be back to add to this.

[@lisadelgado228]

My sister is ToXIC and I literally just distanced myself from her after she fought me and my daughters. So all my family has isolated me and my kids. I’m a single mom. I only have my mom left on my side. It’s soooo peaceful

[@met999000]

Honestly , I was expecting that the drug addict brother would get himself into trouble overseas, tossed in jail and they couldn't get back lol

[@WardenSpectreCommander]

Hard to feel sorry for OP. He should have moved out, changed his number, and blocked them on SM. Some things require a lifetime cutoff. This is one of them.

[@Restrictedeightteen]

As an ex addict, they're enablers.

[@GoddessDiv]

Who needs enemies with family like that.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.

[@rad00rad]

What a little punk. Should have cancelled all their tickets and gone solo

[@pbiffy1535]

Should have canceled the vacation. I can’t understand why he still lives with them. , move out.

[@JD-yz4kr]

OP is an enabler of his family's bad behavior He should have just used the ticket and left everyone at home, and then moved out after he came home. And if his parents try to get him back, he should have given them the ultimatum that either they force his brother into the rehab center or he will stay out.

[@stevetalley5800]

What a DOORMAT! I would've eaten all the cancelation fees and moved TH out. Went no contact!

[@evelynberrios8164]

NTA don’t send money. Also, you made the arrangements, reservations and purchased tickets? You owe them absolutely nothing. Move out of the house!!!! Let your parents support your druggy son. As for the extended family they can pay for them. Time for to stop being a door mat!!

[@christinesinclair6938]

If I were OP, I'd have said "Ok, you think that the leech deserves a trip, then he can pay for it or you can. As for this trip? It's cancelled." Because having someone swoop in and take a trip YOU planned without you is an awful feeling (and while I didn't lose any money on my version of this, I do know how much it sucks to have something you put energy into be sniped by others). OP should have just moved out while they were gone. As for his druggie brother-it's clear he's the golden child/grandchild of the mom and grandpa and OP is the scapegoat and the bratty sister is a bratty teen who doesn't want to be the new scapegoat and behaves accordingly.

[@elizabethhinton6781]

The whole story I’m saying “why doesn’t OP just MOVE OUT!” I hate it when people are gluttons for punishment and always looking for sympathy instead of solutions

[@princessmarlena1359]

True. You deserve what you tolerate.

[@melissatorrey3910]

I am an addict in recovery. I was addicted to drugs after a doctor gave me way too many pain medication at 17 for my endometriosis. I was 22 I had lost my daughter to State, was homeless, and full grown addicted to everything! I’m gonna tell you right now the way he acted is definitely drug induced and the way the mom is acting is absolutely ridiculous. All she’s doing is is enable the addict. You don’t replace the child that’s doing good with the one who is doing drugs that’s like rewarding somebody for burning down a building and punishing the person that put it out. What the fuck is wrong with this family! Sometimes when I hear these stories, it blows my mind that people have to go through this shit

[@kimberlysymonds7517]

1st off OP gave in to his family’s demands The was the biggest dumb move he could of made It’s HIS vacation He should have went on HIS vacation Alone!!!!!

[@Danarchy3]

11:32 who cares about a refund if you dont get to go

[@reginafetty6374]

I would have told the family they can stay home and I will take a bunch of friends.

[@Danarchy3]

@reginafetty6374 exactly. I paid for it, if I'm not going guess who else isnt

[@ladyv5655]

Exactly. I would have waited until they were on the plane and canceled the return trip and hotel reservations. I would then block all of them. Then I would have used the month that they are away to find a new place and move out.

[@68jroche]

Don't reveal the address to the parents, a mailbox centre allows your box to be referred to as "Flat 72" or similar, and that would be preferable than revealing the address, because you know the brother will be at the door as soon as he needs to obtain free stuff.

[@bethsmith8720]

Mommy is gaslighting OP. Mommy is so dysfunctional with addictive brother. OP is getting shafted.

[@Monkeywrench542]

An addict will never want to quit until they are ready to quit.

[@TheTweetybird1122]

I'd worry brother would steal from me while on vacation, mom needs to stop enabling the druggie brother

[@inita228]

They can go, pay and leave me the hell alone, forever. Hope they have fun.

[@NessaEllenesse]

OP needs his own place ASAP and go no contact

[@conniecondra4535]

This is STUPID! The family is telling the person who was paying for the trip that he couldn't come. Of course you could do something. You CANCEL the trip!

[@ansariansari3190]

It's too late to cancel the trip it's not refundable

[@AutismTakesOn]

This was insane. For OP's family... What did you expect? You disinvited the person who PAID FOR YOUR TRIP! Of COURSE OP didn't pay for a trip for a person who was CLEARLY a danger. And for not making sure you had enough money to pay yourselves?! YOU DIDN'T THINK OF THIS!?!? I'm willing to bet that they told OP late on purpose so they could have the trip their way. Sorry, life doesn't work that way. If you want something your way, do it with YOUR money. OP shouldn't have to pay for a trip he doesn't go on. It's like paying for a product you'll never receive, which NOBODY likes. I also don't get why the family always rescued Chris. Alright, you love him, but bailing him out of every situation will only make him comfortable to continue the habit. No punishment, no deterrent. If you make a threat, you go through with it. Otherwise, it's not really a threat to begin with. As for calling OP selfish... Um... Chris hurt other people too. Why don't the other family members hate Chris? I don't understand how one can be okay with someone who insults and steals from them. The whole family needs a mental exam, save for OP. I hope OP does well in his new home, that his family realizes how horrible they were, and how they were always impeding Chris's progress by siding with him. Had they sided with OP, who was clearly in the right, Chris would've gotten better sooner.

[@lucillepfundt6757]

If the family want the Druggie to go on the vacation that Op is paying for then they should pay for Chad's ticket and expenses.

[@AutismTakesOn]

@@lucillepfundt6757 Exactly!

[@RJ-sb5qr]

RUN OP RUN! Your supposed family is absolutely insane. They forced the person who paid for the trip to stay home and take the drug/alcohol addict abuser. No reasonable family would do that, right? You are better off without them.

[@stephanieguthrie1624]

Why are you still living with these selfish people? You obviously have the means to live on your own. Move out and go no contact

[@karimylo4002]

Who in tf gives an alcoholic a job with alcohol?! If he hast been sober for at least a few years that's way too much way too soon. What planet do people come from these days?

[@silveritea]

OPs family doesn’t deserve him. I would have spent the month alone moving out, then going no contact with everyone but the little sister, and having a guest room ready for her. The elder brother is a bag of shit, and the mom is a nightmare.

[@ladydais]

I hate that phrase, “I’m sorry YOU FEEL THAT WAY.” Ugh just grinds my gears.

[@kessiawright1710]

I would have moved out before they came back. His family is entitled. They should have taken some money with them. He sent his entire family on vacation and told him he wasn't wanted and it wasn't enough for them.

[@aleksandarvil5718]

to OP’s _"family"_ = *Play Stupid Games, Win STUPID PRIZES !!!*

[@ctsbathory8867]

Why on earth eould he pay for the trip instead of cancel everything and go by herself or take a friend. This is insane. OP stop being a doormat!

[@marlene1708]

I hope he didn't take him to SK, they are very strict about drugs.

[@emiliagolden4441]

His parent put themselves in that position. Op brother needed to stay home and fix himself and his addiction. Hes not the ahole

[@jamesdiamond820]

Your the problem not your Junkie brother , man up up move out and take nothing to do with him.

[@elizabethmaart6950]

I have just one question: what is he still doing in that house?

[@melissaclark1051]

OP needs to move out and take the pets with him

[@tracygardner6318]

OP is paying for this trip people need to be grateful and not be a holes, Chad’s not even trying to get better. The family needs to stop enabling him and give him some tough love.

[@paulaoshinski2991]

No leave them there

[@j.w.1182]

Op should find his own place to live and don’t look back to his toxic family

[@rochellelarie]

First off your family is the AH. I have boundaries with my family on purpose. I too have an addicted sibling. He is very much enabled by everyone around him. I try to stay clear from him and any situations that may escalate.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

He should have cancelled the trip. Full Stop! Edit: Man! This family is the worst! OP needs to get out of there pronto.

[@annnichols3091]

I'm the 69-year-old adult granddaughter of an alcoholic. My paternal grandfather died before I was born, but my dad was 33 when Alateen was founded. Adult Children of Alcoholics was a small regional group when Dad died. He died the same week I became a medical librarian, so all of the information I found at work was too late to help HIM. It did help ME understand that I'd grown up by alcoholic family rules even though my parents were tobacco addicts, not alcoholics. An alcoholic's effect on his/her family can outlive the alcoholic. I'm so glad there's help for the families these days.

[@melissawittman]

I had to put a close family member into rehab. The whole family needs to go to a counselor that deals with intervention and help them understand not only the gaslighting and manipulation and lying of the addict, but how their own enabling, denial and manipulation are part of the problem. There is a saying in NA: "jails, institutions, or death". Without tough love, this is the reality of OP's brother. The parents are not doing the brother any favors. Also, I don't understand how the brother is allowed communication with any of them. That was part of the rehab rules for the first 2 weeks in my case. No communication, no visitors. It takes years to make amends for the behavior and the brother shows no signs of even acknowledging his faults in this entire situation. He absolutely is not ready to leave rehab for any reason. I wish them all good luck.

[@BlackLotus30]

Op is such are doormat.

[@esm82ify]

If I were OP and I paid for multiple people to go on vacation overseas, I'm going no matter what. If they don't want to go because Chad wasn't invited then THEY would stay home...especially since they didn't actually have any money for travel. Good for you not sending them money!! He ended up alone and off from work anyway.

[@prin0428]

OP! Your family is toxic and will continue treating you the way they do until you draw boundaries and stick to them! This is the most outrageous story I have heard in awhile. Family forces you to give ticket to your drug addict brother after all your hard work in paying and planning this trip. I would have cancelled everyone else's trip that decided not to go because selfish, entitled, narsassistic mother tells everyone not to go if you go on the trip YOU paid for and planned! Outrageous! They knew you would back down with enough pressure and it worked. You deserve so much better OP. Leave these ppl and surround yourself with people who truly love and care for you. You sound like an amazing, loving individual. There are so many good people in the world who would be happy to go on a trip with you, cover their own expenses and pay their own way on top of it! Be strong...just because you are united with your family at the moment on brother and rehab, make no mistake, they have shown you what they believe your status and position is within the family. They do not deserve you! Best of luck to you OP!

[@slyjetprime5614]

Dude thinks he’s tough but he’s a baby.

[@tashastout7343]

Op need to move out for their own sanity. Because the parents also needs therapy for the shit they are pulling.

[@sherlocksteve9109]

OP.. grow your wings and get out of your parents' house. It's time. You are not safe with a drug addict brother. Your Brother is gone and there's no way he'll be back. Grow, learn, and be healthy! Your family abused you. Go LC with your parents or NC with them for a while. They owe you money for that trip!!

[@user-vg5pj8uv5o]

Why would you take a drug addict so he can land in jail in Seoul.

[@charlotteosborne9717]

I would have paid the fees and transfer all tickets to friends and acquaintances, hell strangers rather than give it to those ridiculous entitled ungreatful FOOLS!