Playing Ride to Hell: Retribution: Don't

[@deceptiveauto]

This entire plot could have been skipped if they just said younger brother found the jacket at a thrift store or pawn shop.

[@Nicky.Slunsky]

The best thing about this game is watching the reviews

[@Tehsnakerer]

It is the gift that keeps on giving

[@TheNewBerser]

And that it has Rival Sons in its soundtrack.

[@dwightdeisenhower929]

lol at his thought process: I can't get through this electric fence so instead of going around it or disabling the fence I'll go to my local hydroelectric dam and blow it up so there is no electricity for it to operate upon.

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

Dwight D Eisenhower Not to mention most electric fences would probably be run by a generator or something, you don't just plug them into the wall lol

[@vetreas366]

Funniest part isn't that that is a plan or that it works but that that was plan A! Plan B probably included weather machines, resurrecting Rasputin and casting a teleport spell to contact the Martians and recruit them for aid.

[@dardanik]

@Vetreas Yeah but that would make this game better, we can only dream...

[@randomguy-randomness]

Plan C: 1. steal a tank. 2. Take down burger king. 3. Use magic to turn the tank into a titan. 4. Repeat number 2 5. Use the titan to pick up the now abandoned burger kings and throw it at fence then attack every dam in the U.S 6. Fuck it nuke everything.

[@user-ow1bc4sx2r]

Run for local office, build up support, run for state office, pass legislation outlawing electric fences in non-agricultural scenarios, and you’re in.

[@Xiroxys]

"How do these sex scenes replenish my ammo?" Had me dying haha

[@graycard668]

man wore protection

[@press_x_tojason]

Man’s been shooting blanks

[@johns8369]

Man left one in the chamber

[@xyoyogl]

Their hands are huge

[@gavin9088]

THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS

[@Jarumo76]

OOH, HERE IT COMES ! HERE COMES THE NIGHT TRAIN !

[@ProductionsBAB]

Wreck it Ralph hands

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

@@gavin9088 I heard this from a Noah video, and am unsure if he was just referencing something else or making the joke himself. You need to put the spork in the sprocket to turn off the demon locket.

[@Popebug]

@Fuzzy, it's from the Doom comic.

[@red_cosplay]

12:32 That's, like... deep. But "People die when they are killed" is still deeper.

[@peppermillers8361]

Valikdu We got to go deeper, though.

[@idealsurrealism9587]

''Shirou is a deep character''

[@lolhacker767]

"The Archer class really is full of archers." Or "just because your right doesn't mean your correct."

[@DragnSly]

This city really looks like a city!

[@vetreas366]

​@@lolhacker767 I posit that both are perfectly rational phrases. I mean both Archers poor Rin has ever encountered eschewed the bow as a main weapon and resorted to chucking swords and spears at whoever and whatever they didn't like that much. The other one is just "Fun with alternative word interpretations starring the 'people die when they are killed' guy!" It checks out is what I'm saying and FSN writing is sublime and also seafood makes great metaphors! The eggplant did nothing wrong!

[@marihampton7028]

the electric fence bit where he kills all the workers who are innocent as well as dealing drugs this is not a guy I would want to play as. Makes me not care about his brother.

[@nitromagilou597]

Not to mention all the _other_ possibilities to handle the little "fence" situation. If he had the common sense.

[@trevordavis6830]

You know, I wonder what his thoughts are about his father dealing in sex trafficking.

[@slayertakim1]

Mari Hampton I learned of the fence scene from angry Joe and laughed my ass off.

[@peppermillers8361]

Something like that would be hilarious if it was done on purpose.

[@nogidoki3325]

Micheal has an heart? good joke

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Every character in this game has _extremely_ funny giant gorilla hands big enough to close round a bowling ball.

[@Valdetiosi]

Oh my God those facial animations are golden. Not to mention the grunt sound that comes when you activate the QTE. I can't believe really who could actually make this game with straight face. This is more like a fanfiction.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Fanfictions require fans

[@Valdetiosi]

Even Sonic 06 has its fans, so why not for this one?

[@Tehsnakerer]

I've puzzled with a funny answer to this for a day now, but considering I am friends with a fan of 06 I got nothing.

[@DanielAvelan]

27:40 NO! NO! Noo...!

[@peppermillers8361]

It's too good.

[@Megaritz]

23:39 I love how the pool of blood just materializes next to his corpse.

[@Techn1colour]

This is easily the best and funniest review I've ever seen.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Really glad you enjoyed it

[@skalty9868]

Wait, if you need a faster engine and they have it so you have to beat them in a race, don't you already have a fast enough engine?

[@ieuanhunt552]

Not necessarily. Maybe they have a better Gearbox, Aerodynamics, Breaks, Tires and Suspension. There is a lot of things that go onto winning a race. Despite what Petrol heads say.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

@@ieuanhunt552 You're too good for this game. You deserve better.

[@rewenemp]

I’m gonna be real, the fact that I’m on this review 10 actual years later, and becoming a huge fan, (got hooked in by your Brigand reviews), shows the absolute cesspool that modern KZbin content has become. Same with Ahoy.

[@turnkey_hole]

I don't think that this is as complementary as you wanted it to be. Snek's reviews are good and *were* good.

[@rewenemp]

@@turnkey_hole Was making a comment about the age of the video and how modern content is less watchable. I never said they weren’t always good, just found it interesting that I was watching 10 year old content when everything on my feed failed to interest me. Thanks for weirdly defending the content you consoom from a non-attack though. Super cool and not gatekeep-y at all.

[@turnkey_hole]

@@rewenemp I see soy and I must CONSOOOOOOM NO NORMIES REEEEEEEEEEEE (That's you, that's how dumb you sound.)

[@Landbeforetime1992]

DSP loved it. True story.

[@peppermillers8361]

LandbeforeTMZ1992 Oh god...no surprise there, though.

[@ginogatash4030]

How the fuck did he even finish it? You're telling me that he's so bad at proper games, that he can actually play broken trainwrekcs like this?

[@vetreas366]

@@ginogatash4030 Yes, actually. While he can miss a hole in a fence for 8 minutes or so, he has a real talent at finding his way through idiocy. Must be the familiarity that's helping him.

[@dodojesus4529]

@@vetreas366 having seen a few tihydpg its probably because the game has two sections so he never has to adapt to anything.

[@ubermorpth2208]

Even your older videos still seem to have the same consistent high quality of your latest works, very impressed in general since I started watching you from your Dead Rising 4 vid.

[@mongee3614]

That profile picture of your friend looks familiar

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

Blaze Yeah I've seen it somewhere :[]

[@ev5837]

Myeh

[@posthumano8679]

Yeah

[@CapnJigglypuff]

I can't believe Mack went Ultra Instinct four years before Goku.

[@Egalitariat-likesecretariat]

"All in all, the driving isn't particularly fun to begin with, and then it keeps happening" made me crack up. What a perfectly polite way to express such deep disdain

[@fornalotta8767]

Well he is British, generally the only people who are more polite are Canadians.

[@m.streicher8286]

​@@fornalotta8767have you ever met a British person?

[@StateBlaze1989]

What amazes me about this game's story is that the entire thing could have been avoided twice: by simply lying about where they got the jacket when the gang members had them cornered, and at the very beginning by having Mikey not wear it in the first place! If Mack just told him that the Devil's Hand had a grudge against the gang name on the jacket, Mikey would have been more cautious about wearing it out in public where he knows devil's hand is lurking.

[@DBZking119]

you know what I wanna see I wanna see a prequel game to this about jakes dad bc that sounds a HELL of a lot more interesting than the plot of this

[@pantheman2842]

I heard the original cancelled project, which was ambitious, was about basically the dad.

[@axis1247]

@@fatisdead7150 So, nothing wrong eith playing a piece of shit. Just has to be fun.

[@E1craZ4life]

I’ve contemplated making a prequel focusing on Caesar and a sequel focusing on a detective investigating the aftermath of Jake’s rampage. As a social experiment.

[@DBZking119]

@@E1craZ4life no that would be intaresting

[@thatdude3938]

Gotta say, menus in this games are really neat. That's all positive that I have to say about this game

[@vladimirpishchalnikov6154]

“AGHHHHHH!” - Jake

[@renzonovatore5859]

I'm sort of amused that Eutechnyx Customer Support is in your contacts.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Aye, they were the first bunch I sent an email off to asking for the original Ride to Hell script. They told me to ask Deep Silver, and DS weren't much help.

[@StateBlaze1989]

Kind of surprised he didn't talk about a few things. Like how Jake knew Ceasar's real name, even though no one had ever mentioned it. Or how every gun seems to be loaded with tracer rounds due to every shot leaving a clear smoke trail. Or how the ending credits are glitched out and have a 50/50 chance for the music to not play at all.

[@theOriginalRudeDude]

Funny thing, Mafia 3 also has a PTSD scene after Lincoln gets home. He wakes up from a nightmare and it’s never seen again.

[@petershalashaska7886]

Another amazing review of another ridiculous game. Absolutely love your content. Thank you so much for this

[@petershalashaska7886]

24:20

[@petershalashaska7886]

6:35 "Yeeaahh.. Jake would've done that cooler.. Now go back and honor him properly. Cunt."

[@petershalashaska7886]

17:50 I really really really hope that the way you summed up this sequence was accurate to what happened and no details whatsoever were glazed over. Inexplicable and gratuitous group sex? Why not?

[@petershalashaska7886]

22:23 LMFAO

[@Temascos]

I've been around that area shown, I shall track you down and play Ride To Hell. Jake Conway is truly the greatest protagonist of a 2013 game, Joel and Ellie (Not this game's Ellie, the other one) are nothing compared to his rage and anger.

[@Tehsnakerer]

You say that, but I've got a Ride to Hell dungeon all prepped and I'm going scouting in that park tomorrow.

[@milliman4]

As an Austrian, I apologise for my viennan brethren. We have been trying to get rid of Vienna for the longest time, but they can't be rid of.

[@KiwifruitPixie]

...Why do all the Obvious Bosses have different accents? Why are they all terrible? Is that this game's idea of deep characterization?

[@Popebug]

Because this is a game set in California, made by British people.

[@ultracrab12]

The most memorable thing I took away from this was that Jake Conway sounds exactly like the guy from the Dr Squatch soap commercials that KZbin inundates me with.

[@ToastMasterGuy]

22:38 That dude saw his opportunity to gtfo of this game and took it

[@TheNexDude]

I unironically like the attempt of an artsyle for this game. One piece of minor credit i can give.

[@VictorBalaguera]

Moral of the story: never trust Skeletor.

[@agent-xqj3733]

Does the 1% on the cover show how much effort was put in this game? (Yes, I know it’s a biker thing.)

[@vetreas366]

Nah dude, it's a biker thing! (Yes, I know you know.)

[@agent-xqj3733]

I don’t know how to feel about a comment on a year old post of mine lol

[@vetreas366]

@@agent-xqj3733 Honored, of course, for you have not been forgotten, nor have your contributions to this, the most holy of KZbin comment sections!

[@trollbreeder2534]

this game is an actual ride to hell

[@ieuanhunt552]

The most frustrating thing about this game is that the core concept has a massive amount of potential. An open world game where a Vietnam vet returns home and tries to put his life back together by rejoining/creating a biker gang while also getting revenge, set during the 1960s 70s. Like a mixture between Rambo and Sons of Anarchy.

[@dragenfire68]

Yeah, but that would have made a somewhat decent game, and who ever made this obviously didnt want that

[@ieuanhunt552]

@@dragenfire68 I know, talent is an asset. I hate it when a good idea is wasted on a bad game.

[@unicorntomboy9736]

@@ieuanhunt552 I wish Rockstar could have created a 1960s biker game like this. Get the Red Dead redemption 2 Devs to create it and we'll get a masterpiece

[@WaddleDee105]

This was a fantastic review. I also recommend you all check out the Let's Play done by Men Drinkin' Coffee. It goes through the whole game and it's glorious.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Just after I finished editing this review (about two sessions of editing for six hours) and having played through this game twice, I did actually pop their LP on and realised I couldn't actually take any more of this game. I've started watching them since mind. Really funny blokes.

[@TheVolginator]

Tehsnakerer three years later, but thesw1tcher lp of this is beautiful, includes dlc too!

[@czechpatriot2230]

They made DLC's for this game? Lol.

[@collinmclaren6608]

Why does it look and sound like he's beating him with the knife, rather than actually stabbing him

[@ImTheMan725]

Found this on Metacritic =)).. 10/10 for this game.. :)).. woohoo ... anyone want to bet that it's one of the developers? "Beemo Jun 26, 2013 10 Absolutely and utterly captivating from start to finish, this game not only plays extremely well, seldom breaking the action for exposition, but it is also a stunning and innovative leap forward in graphics technology, it actually felt like I was speeding down the highway in Texas at 200m/h, and the blood seemed to real that I genuinely felt bad for maiming my AI enemies. Story-wise, this game captures and manipulates some extremely shocking themes, and provides the player with several ethical and political quandaries and debates. The sex scenes in particular are rather tasteful and well-done, and the protagonist is a rich character whose astonishing voice actor only aids in the creation of one of gaming's most beloved characters. In short, buy this game, it is one of the best out there, and one of the very few games that actually attempt to push the boundaries of what we have come to expect as gamers. A masterpiece from start to finish"

[@bruhbbawallace]

It's an obvious joke. You've been baited.

[@jackhazardous4008]

I think they're meming

[@christophersmith8848]

Sounds shitposty to me

[@ItsRawdraft2]

It's too perfect

[@miguelcondadoolivar5149]

It's sarcasm, it perfectly explains many issues of the game. The score is ironic as well.

[@ArtHollow]

The cutscenes in this game are freaking hilarious.

[@frankhorriganenjoyer]

Jake looks like the stereotypical Homer Simpson balding with a stubble with a flat face it's just so funny. Although he isn't balding.

[@theblacksheep1000]

HOLY COW! I cant believe you beat this POS! Bravo, yoar patience is LEGENDARY!

[@NuclearSpring]

After years, I realized this game is just Brutal Legend, but shit and it takes itself seriously.

[@CruelPizza213]

You are criminally underrated as a channel

[@d.n5287]

Your friend's pfp perfectly embodies how he felt seeing you buy ride to hell

[@Megaritz]

SPOILER: Jake kills what's-his-name

[@trz1259]

Blood appears like a PowerPoint 2010 animation

[@satqur]

Damn fucking shame. 60s Biker GTA should be literally a foolproof idea, and yet somehow they managed to fuck it up. And not just fuck it up, but fuck it up _spectacularly._

[@Phoebe5448]

Fun Fact after watching this great review about this crappy game, I just realised Tehsnakerer is a Londoner too!! :D

[@unicorntomboy9736]

I wish Rockstar could have made a 1960s biker game like this, only make something that is actually good Get the Red Dead redemption 2 Devs to create it and we will get s masterpiece

[@runningcommentary2125]

I just noticed that part where he wanders around looking for a place to dump the game is near where I live. I thought that park looked familiar.

[@Mace907]

The best things about Ride to Hell are the Rival Sons licensed song, and the Best Friends playthrough of it.

[@mikezhou7901]

Plot twist, this game is an SCP

[@metatronblack]

The main character looks like John Stamos from Full House

[@fasthandsz]

Just found your channel not so long ago , cool vids

[@fatfuckingneckbeardlol7508]

is your friend skeletor ?

[@Mikki-Moo]

I'm pretty sure they just dropped eggs on the ground to get that punching sound effect

[@EmeraldLavigne]

12:32 "Bleeding isn't the same as dying!" He sounds like Ben Fucking Shapiro here and it's fucking hilarious to picture him playing Jake....

[@EmeraldLavigne]

Completely explains why he never takes off any clothes....

[@atticusrex9468]

Don't talk shit about Greasy Steve, he's the fucking best.

[@jasonbiggums]

Aged like fine wine

[@cpt.shmitt7387]

What's sad is that the concept isn't bad... just implementation, writing, voice acting, gameplay.... etc...

[@lurksnitchtongue8986]

"Bad Games -- DOTA 2" fucking mad lad

[@Mr.Pallanza]

Just the first 7 seconds of this video is enough to show me that this is going to be one hell of a masterpiece... ...of shit.

[@Journey_to_who_knows]

Eutechnyx make a lot of shovelware, they were responsible for that pimp my ride game. No clue why deep silver thought it was a good idea to make a ambitious game with them.

[@vetreas366]

Pretty sure the thought process went like: Pimp my Ride > cars > cars have wheels > motorcycles have wheels > ??? > "Fuck it, what have we got to lose?" > Industrial quantities of rubbing alcohol injected directly in the retinas of each and every Deep Silver higher-up > Eutechnyx can make game about wheels with motorcycles attached to them!

[@frank8917]

The full name of the game is: Ride to Hell: Retribution 1% (ironically being the score of the game)

[@ghostoflazlo]

"Dodgy Swedish bloke" That describes all of them

[@LucasRazorBlade]

Great review! :D

[@Mikki-Moo]

Thank you for that review, I haven't had this much fun drinking and playing a game with friends in a long time. This definitely is the best worst game ever

[@comreadeette514]

Ride to hell: Retribution: im a bad game Hunt down the freeman: hold my Free-man

[@GreenEyedDazzler]

Gamerz835 this is almost a joke

[@moredetonation3755]

I watched this video while dehydrated, which i think is probably the closest I'll get to the headache this game no doubt produced.

[@Ike_of_pyke]

Turret segment can work like the spec ops the line

[@bruhbbawallace]

So how exactly was he riding his bike without his hand on the throttle?

[@James-qk9ql]

Wow Days gone 2 looks great

[@unicorntomboy9736]

Lol

[@brandonmorel2658]

Leaving Ride to Hell in a kid's playground will qualify the guy who did it a child abuser.

[@LittleWittleKitty]

This is brilliant!

[@milliman4]

Wait, DS Vienna? My people were responsible for this? I always knew the viennans are weird

[@Bobby14]

This game really had potential!

[@unicorntomboy9736]

I wish Rockstar could have created it instead

[@visassess8607]

I remember when this game came out and it sounded like a cool premise so I got it. Welp, you know how that turned out lol

[@VenomGamingCenter]

I know I likely wont get an answer considering how old this review is, but, whats the music that plays during the parts where you're taking the game outside? :P Also, good review, I love watching these.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Thank you, and the track is Lightless Dawn by Kevin Macleod

[@VenomGamingCenter]

@@Tehsnakerer Oh wow, thank you for the answer! :)

[@iamstewpit6740]

JUST GIVE EM THE BOOT!

[@tylerh2548]

Rainbow Apocalypse V1 = Perfect

[@Robsonski96]

22:12 - Jason Voorhees? Is that you? :O

[@Zelix678]

Anyone else notice how Colts face looks like a stretched sweet potato?

[@Insanegrox]

Am I going crazy or does that pistol sound exactly like the glock from Counter Strike Global Offensive?

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

Insanegrox Probably a paid sound effect from some online suppository. So it very well could be, but I haven't touched CS for quite a while so not much help :P

[@stevenseagull4990]

Sooo... nobody is going to question the fact that, in game characters always have sex with their clothes on?

[@WanderingKumquat]

Ride to Hell 2

[@Tehsnakerer]

Hell yeah

[@gemmareid7929]

2 Ride 2 Hell

[@MattHall]

Greasy Steve

[@marianogamer6261]

whats surprises me the most is that eutechnix made "hotwheels beat that" before this,and that game isnt a masterpiece,but its awesome! how do you fuck up this badly?!

[@andrewjustice4810]

Dude went from shitty motorcycler to moses by 3:10. Oof.

[@AidanRatnage]

How is Ellie's left hand completely fine at 29:59?

[@mrwoodchuck94]

It says on the box 1% is finished

[@LostLarz]

This game looks solid

[@m.streicher8286]

I want the old steam UI back 😢

[@AlucardRo]

Was this video edited at some point? i remember it being differently and i don't know if I imagine it being different or the video does have new footage.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Nope

[@zoidsfan12]

Aight was 'avin me a good old chuckle till I saw that bad games folder. *Zooming sound effect* Borderlands 2? *Eyes light up red* Boi, you wanna tussle?

[@Tehsnakerer]

It's a bad games folder, the only reason it's not in an awful games folder is that I try and keep things simple.

[@louissteyn6871]

I would have shoved the game into a wood chipper honestly

[@PapaScho]

I wanna buy this for the lols but I can't find a key

[@jackjeager8785]

I’ve managed to play thu this once..bought it knowing how bad it was...what a ride lol

[@kamikazemelon787]

The graphics in this look like the original Guitar Hero somehow

[@bongchoof]

i think this is the best bad game ever made

[@vargakristof3555]

20:20 "Several hours in... " This man needs help