Proceed with Caution: Navigating the Risks of Embracing Traditional Wife Roles

[@wick3dwords]

Honestly, almost never see women in their 40s and 50s advocate for this lifestyle. These young women gonna find out.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

I think a lot of this came from women seeing older women in their life being the “mule”, and they don’t want to age rapidly and be tired like them. They see the “glamour” of staying home and not have the stress of work, but they don’t know how to do it right, which is why they’re getting surprised pikachu faces when their hubby trades them in when hubby is bored and he leaves them broke. They don’t know how to protect themselves in case things go wrong (having their own bag that doesn’t count as marital assets and CONTINUING to have their own bag, having a prenup, making sure that their name is on investments and real estate, making sure they’re in the will).

[@sidni.d5989]

Weren't 1950's housewives strung out and addicted to opium?? 😂😂 They left out that part!

[@marieo305]

​@@sidni.d5989 what's the name of that popular diet again? The one in which all meals get replaced with a bottle of sherry a day?😂

[@deirdremorris9234]

​@@sidni.d5989Diazapam! Aka Valium. Women were dubbed 'hysterical'. Probably had undiagnosed PPD, depression or going through premenopause and menopause.

[@IFSpecialist]

Valium was taken by millions of housewives in the 60s and 70s because their lives were so miserable.

[@michellejarvis7878]

I saw a story where the husband wanted her to become a traditional wife. She said she would think about it. Then she asked for 50% of his company. Her point is that if things ended in divorce, she would be protected. Her husband called her selfish. So...he keeps 100% of his company legally, takes no risk, and he's the one asking for the traditional life. But he doesn't want to give her half the company he is building with her support.

[@lesliewit]

And that is the biggest red flag of all. Because even if he accepted that she was not going to be a traditional wife, he still is not trying to plan for her security and her future. I hope they didn't get married

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

That guy makes the mistake of thinking that traditional living is the same as having the wife be completely financially dependent. It's not. You can be traditional and still be smart about your finances. It's fair that he didn't want to give her half of the company, but it wouldn't be fair if he still demanded that she not take care of her financial future. That is just a recipe for abuse, because what incentive would he have to treat her with respect if he knows she's completely financially dependent on him and can't leave? I hope that couple came to a good agreement, otherwise she needs to run while she still can.

[@BlackandBlessed100]

And the fact he couldn’t do half the things in life without her tell that boy bye

[@vikki8699]

Smart girl. Hope she turned him down ❤

[@annnee6818]

Showing he doesn't see her work as valuable

[@ashassassin]

I grew up seeing traditional marriages and they scared me. My aunties were miserable, my cousins were sad, and worse, but we wont get into my cult-leader uncle right now. I thank God I got to see that stuff and learned the red flags. It always makes me laugh when the men in my family ask why I'm not married. The women never ask, they know why I'm not and refuse to.

[@Cynophileandavianenthusiast]

Same here. Grew up observing and learning 🚩and learned how I didn't want to be.

[@jenbodhi1133]

It scared me too watching it

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

Young ladies better take heed. These women are sharing their stories to save you from unnecessary heart ache, abuse, drama and other atrocities. There are women who are really trying to save women and aren’t hating on y’all.

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

These women are better than me, because personally I've stopped trying to convince certain women that having a financial back up plan isn't distrustful or hateful against their families. A lot of them see this kind of advise as being jealous or hateful, when it is the exact opposite. Well fine, take that gigantic risk with your financial future. I truly hope it all works out like you'd hoped. I prefer to get my bag and keep it.

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

@@ZBM-jj1xr you are correct. I have had a couple of incidents of trying to advise folks of things one related to avoid being sued for millions for violating a law and one who believed some shady lawyer had the right to collect a client’s home as payment for shady legal representation. Neither person listened. They know everything. So they can FAFO. The government doesn’t provide financial help in these situations. Neither do family or friends especially in this economy.

[@BlackandBlessed100]

Yep Don’t let these men steal your youth away from you I don’t have kids I have my own home I always look 15 years younger than my real age Every year ❤️

[@deirdremorris9234]

​@@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis Right. My husband and I had a somewhat Trad life. I did work on and off. We had kids. Now grandkids. Everyone is healthy. Our last child is high on the spectrum: sweet, kind, mild mannered, but will most likely live with us forever. No big deal! But, our single 25 year old son also still lives with us. He is great. Pays rent. But the rents around town are sky high! Our daughter endes up breaking up with her LTR because he was lazy in every way. She is now a single parent of one kid. Doing well. But also got tubes tied and ditching all men. She refuses to sacrifice her peace🎉 There are so many risks.....

[@kekef3620]

Facts! I'm a girls girl. I'm frightened for them but they insist on being arrogant and unable to see our concern.

[@anwarpine6797]

When I was young, me and my husband both thought we liked the idea of this lifestyle. It lasted one year before I went back to work, it almost destroyed our relationship. We were both unhappy. I will never allow anyone to have that kind of power over me ever again. Never.

[@ShortSindrome]

My husband urged me to live like this, too. I said I'll try it for a year. Didn't last six months. I've got a job again and we're both so much happier. I feel like I'm contributing and get regular outside stimulation and interaction while he doesn't feel crushed by the full weight of our finances anymore. Life is so much more interesting when you let things happen naturally instead of forcing yourself/others into a preset mould.

[@unturned6066]

This kind of "division of labour" also makes having disagreements much harder, since even if you have split accounts and are given money from him, you know that you're without a job and job-experience, which will colour your relationship, and if he's a reasonable bloke, it will affect him as well.

[@JadeTokier]

Even if you marry a wonderful man, there is always the possibility of that man losing his job, getting seriously ill, getting permanently injured, or dying. Then what are you going to do?

[@roreo1612]

They expect the kids to take over and provide for them

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

This. My parents, especially my dad, promoted finding the guy that is a provider and protector, but at the same time, be able to make my own living and know how to do things in case things go wrong.

[@unicorn73212]

Here's the thing though you don't have to provide for them if the situation is abusive they could rent a hotel and live down the road somewhere and not give them your location if they need food, or someone to run an errand for them drop by one or twice a week to check on them to make sure he's functioning usually old men don't need that much care and if they wind up getting that sick you can put them in a nursing home or hospital or see if your medical insurance will allow them to have a caregiver to take over for you so you don't have to deal with them at all.. just because there old there still not the same as children. They don't need constant supervision unless there some kind of fugitives and in that case they would probably be in jail. You have to remind yourself that you are not a prisoner to your parents the older men get the less threatening they become so it might even benefit.you to care give for an old man if hes receiving benefits and your not looking for a serious relationship just dont marry them and some of them will just hand you money without thinking about it.

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living My dad was the exact same way. He was a proponent of traditional values, but he also wanted me to have important life skills like being able to make a good living. He saw how much his mom struggled after my grandpa died, and he struggled himself with physically taxing jobs because he didn't have to opportunity to get an education. Thankfully our dads loved us both enough to not want to cripple us in life and wanting to give us important life skills to be able to take care of ourselves and our families.

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living My dad was the exact same way. He was a proponent of traditional values, but he also wanted me to have important life skills like being able to make a good living. He saw how much his mom struggled after my grandpa died, and he struggled himself with physically taxing jobs because he didn't have to opportunity to get an education. Thankfully our dads loved us both enough to not want to cripple us in life and wanting to give us important life skills to be able to take care of ourselves and our families.

[@multicrafter639]

The "I don't want a job" thing blew my mind. Housework is WORK! Balancing the household budget, planning meals, preparing those meals, all are work. You just aren't collecting a paycheck. What's worse is that it counts for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING if you have to re-enter the job market. No social security points (if that stays around. A convo for another day, lol.) No savings, no credit score. Your "trad husband" has a paper trail to fall back on. You have zip. Protecting yourself isn't a rejection of the "trad wife" lifestyle. Go for it. Just make sure you have a backup plan in case that man gets hit by a bus or something.

[@Kim-vw4nx]

As soon as them kids in school 🏫. Women better get back to work

[@Reallythough]

Or cheats or leaves- they like to do that.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

It's multiple jobs...

[@celesteadeanes4478]

the way to equalize this situation "traditionally" is to give the finances over to the one who stays at home.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

@@celesteadeanes4478 the Japanese do that.

[@overtremendouslyblah]

Even in the 1940s and 1950s almost ALL women worked. People really need to stop believing this lie. My mother grew up on a farm in rural Minnesota. Her mother (aka my grandmother) was technically a housewife. However, she worked on that farm just as much as my grandfather. Everyone worked, even the kids. My mother speaks about picking rocks of of fields as a little girl. And this was in the 1960s and 1970s. There truly is no "easy" life. Life is hard no matter what. The only difference between my grandmother and women today is thay she didn't get to have her own money. She couldn't even drive a car because women of those days weren't taught that. I'm so grateful to all the women before us who worked for our freedom.

[@islandgirl8067]

True, my grandmother in the south had to work in the farm & inside the house.

[@kathiaserrano7740]

The madmen aesthetic never really existed. And if it did, it didn’t apply to the VAST majority of us. And that period of time was very short lived.

[@azuredystopia3751]

You're 100% correct. In fact, this has been true for all of human history and in the case of paid work since the inception of feudalism. The idea of a woman staying 'at home' was initially a Victorian idea and was a way to delineate class in an era with an increasing, upwardly mobile middle class. Women have always had jobs PLUS all the domestic labour.

[@unturned6066]

Absolutely..often they worked shittier jobs as well, since society allowed them to be grossly underpaid and underappreciated. Couldn't open bank accounts, or own property. Funny how women started refusing marriage and "trad" wifing as soon as they were literally able to. Almost like it's unnatural to be treated like a houseelf.

[@beepbopboop7727]

I don’t want a job. I also don’t want to clean. I want to just be rich and do nothing. We can all dream.

[@dianaprince3176]

Sounds boring as hell

[@Reallythough]

Right, rich men hire maids and chefs for their women. People like to forget that. They want to be labor for a man who can’t afford all that for them.

[@PandoraBear357]

​@@dianaprince3176 not really. I have a lot of hobbies. I would rather go hiking and camping or knit a sweater than go to work.

[@celiashen5490]

@@PandoraBear357 Yes!! I have dreams of bougie days of brunch with guava mimosas and chilling at the museums and downdrrty days at $1 flicks at the cheapseats with the sticky floor.

[@PandoraBear357]

@@celiashen5490 right? Once a month I take myself out on a me date. I go out for lunch or brunch, go browse my local yarn shops or book store, go for a walk in my favorite park if the weather is nice, do some sketching. I would love being rich and doing that more than once a month.

[@msteach3082]

My father, who happened to be a wonderful provider, always told me to never, ever rely on a man no matter how much money he has.

[@CitySlickerButtKicker]

It is always the good men and good fathers who are involved in their daughters lives who tell their daughters not to depend on men for money. It is usually the half ass deadbeat financially abusive fathers who push marriage on their girls.

[@SR77736]

My dad makes 6 figures and told me the same. He did say find a guy with money but have your own. Hed never dste a woman who didn't have a job or at least not for long.

[@monsterous6152]

I grew up watching the SAHM's around me trapped in unhappy marriages. It was painful to see, knowing these women gave up their hopes and dreams for a selfish-ass man and ungrateful children.

[@sharonharris9782]

Growing up, my stepdad who made alot of money, told my mother that she coukd quit her teaching job if she chose to since he coukd afford to support all of us. She was adamant that that was not going to happen. She had her own bank account, as well as sharing one with him. She also had him draw up a prenup detailing what SHE was entitled to should they divorce. My mother made sure that she was taken care if should they divorce, which they did twenty five years later.

[@JordanWilliams-ix2td]

wow lol

[@itscalledlogic7]

To all the Trad Wives: There's a reason Feminism exists.

[@annjean8709]

Exactly!!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@hubabaloop]

I absolutely kill it at work, and every night I make myself dinner… Homemade dinner I also make myself breakfast, and also lunch! And Yep there are sides!!! no husband, or child needed 👍🏽

[@HarmlessComment]

I'm happy CNN picked up the story, I want stories like this to reach a wider audience, especially men.

[@sarahrobertson634]

These ladies are delusional.

[@Babygirl-vt2gl]

​@@sarahrobertson634 And the men manipulative. Bc they're just gawking at the power play/ imbalance and looking to glamourize having a personal slave with possible sex appeal.

[@dfya3294]

*sigh* unfortunately the men (& a few women) in the comments still don't get it

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​@@dfya3294The women will realize their mistake when hubby hits mid life crisis and gets a younger side chick.

[@laceykanda995]

The religious to tradwife pipeline needs to be talked about, and we need to talk to young girls and women asap! The more we know, the more time we'll save in therapy 😂! I'm so glad I renounced religion in high school. My biggest flex is not getting married young and pumping out all these kids 😅😅! Protect your womb ladies, always have your OWN STUFF, never rely on a person to have it all for you. We got this. Thanks for sharing @Burb&Bougie❤❤

[@misspriss2482]

No need to renounce religion to escape this. Just go to a church that doesn't push this mess. On the other hand, I had to leave a church because the pastor kept pressuring me to get married and have kids. I'm also still looking for a church that doesn't push misogyny so you're probably the smart one. 😂

[@ruthmchuwen]

@@misspriss2482I almost called you delulu 😮 Yeah, there’s not a church in sight, that isn’t pushing all this crap 😅

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

Religion is patriarchal. Religion was created to control men by catering to their codependent nature. A wife feeds this nature of men.

[@CitySlickerButtKicker]

​@misspriss2482 I am a Roman Catholic, but I had never heard my priests ever pressure this. If anything, I see our parish celebrate the lives of religious women who were single, but served God with their whole heart. But they do take marriage seriously, even including telling wives not to submit to demands from husbands that goes against God. God first always.

[@LedePat]

We really don't have a choice because most males want a "traditional partner" but want 50/50 which is an oxymoron

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

In my experience being a trad wife turned me into a slave. I worked for room and board 24/7 and was expected to give sex to the master or else he would get moody and mean and stop helping with anything in any way. It didn’t even matter that we talked long and hard about it and what the expectations for both of us were. I never agreed to do even 75% of the housework when I agreed to be a SAHM because I was homeschooling 2 neurodivergent kids and trying to start a home business. But what I realized is that he was willing to promise anything without ever having the intention to follow through. He didn’t even do any yard work or fix up the house. He just sat and played videogames most days and created more of a mess in every room than I have ever experienced before. He truly believed that since he brought in a paycheck he didn’t have to do anything else. And all the money was his that I had to ask if I needed anything. Usually being told no. Never mind the power gets cutoff and the account is always overdrawn. Not worth it.

[@BurbNBougie]

How long did that last? How old are your kids now?

[@Marivi247]

Yes you’re so right it can be just working for having a place to stay and some food while you have tons of responsibilities. My father was similar, he also expected my mom to clean after him, he liked to watch TV after work and he didn’t clean his dishes on the TV table before he went to bed. My mother wanted to stay at home but still she complained about that behavior, leaving all the extra work for her. It has something disrespectful about it, like you are the servant he is the king. Also for us children it was strange because our father told us to clean sometimes but I found that hypocritical because he didn’t clean anything himself neither. It always made me feel strange as a child.

[@denesejamerson2356]

​@@BurbNBougie Burb, I want to take the opportunity to Thank you, for your posts! I'm an "old hen" who was raised by both parents who taught me what you're attempting to impart to women in your space. I may have "hit the wall" as CERTAIN men say, but at least I've got my wits about me and have been handling my business, (or standing on business as the youth say now!) for over 60 yrs now!

[@dharma6481]

In the 70’s, many of my friends moms were divorced (I think it had become easier to divorce around that time). They had no work experience, 4+ kids and the fathers paid no child support or alimony (they didn’t garnish wages back then). The kids were hungry and in virtual rags, the grandparents did what they could. All us girls vowed to not be in that position ourselves.

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

This still happens now. My cousin married and decided not to complete her education. After a few years her husband decided to leave and never come back. He even fled to another country to avoid paying child support for their kids. She thankfully had parents that could financially support them until she finished her education and built up her business, otherwise her and those poor children would've been forced to live in absolute poverty. They don't live in a country where there is any kind of governmental support for single parents either.

[@annt7384]

I remember when this happened and divorced moms remarried, the new husbands almost always adopted the kids because divorced fathers had deserted the family. There were no custody fights. Men moved on and started new families. Yikes.

[@dharma6481]

@@annt7384yes, the mothers frequently remarried quickly. Unfortunately the “new fathers” were often abusive to both the mother and kids and the mothers believed they had no choice but to accept being abused and ignore/deny the child abuse. I had a friend who slept with a pocket knife because of the new father, she ran away at 13. I don’t understand today’s young women ceding control of their own and their children’s lives. We fought long and hard for opportunities for ourselves and our daughters.

[@dianaprince3176]

@@ZBM-jj1xrA country like the US?

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

@@dianaprince3176 No, a country on another continent entirely.

[@Itsallaboutlove52]

When I hear a grown woman say she doesn’t want to work and pay bills, it’s saying I don’t want to be an adult. This is crazy. Edit: Based on the responses below, I want to clarify that of course nobody want wants to work and pay bills, but to hear an adult totally want to depend and trust that someone else to do it is crazy.

[@Lambeh]

I mean, let's be real, how many people would still even do a 9-5 cushy office job if they came into enough money to support themselves and their kids for the rest of their life? I would rather be rich, but I'm not. So I work. I make it as pleasant as possible, but I don't want to work a traditional job. But that is what pays the bills. My pipe dream of buying a bunch of land for a dog sanctuary isn't exactly gonna pay the bills.

[@ann3923]

Who the hell wants to pay bills?

[@HunterLvyiXIII]

If I could come into enough money to not have to work and be able to hire someone to manage my estate/ affairs that'd be awesome. I find that it's not wanting to regress in age/ shirk, rather it's about wanting to decrease stress and uncertainty

[@briajewel121]

Right nobody wants to pay bills, lol. Unfortunately, you have to, depending on your level of survival skills. I remember I was tired of paying bills, and I purposely became homeless. I had money from working. I stacked so much money. I'm good now. Didn't have to do it, but needed to reset. Ain't nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but women have make sure their position is secured that's all. We can loose it all being single, married, with and without children.

[@limo5724]

​@StarryWaters-gq1oj YES! It's basically saying "I only want 1 job and not 2 full time jobs." Problem is that when they go the trad wife nonsense, it weakens the push to get men more socialized into housework and childcare. It emboldens the idea that it's women's work. Too bad. Maybe they will realize this one day.

[@annt7384]

Nobody’s talking about how kids growing up with a stay at home mother have almost no relationship with their breadwinner fathers because of all that breadwjnnjng.

[@GardensFlowers-f7k]

"Bread winning"... studies have already shown, males on put about 35% of their income back into their families. How many women & children suffer because "daddy" drinks, gambles, has women on the side etc.

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

Yup. Theses breadwinners don't even want to spend time with their kids

[@DeannaBaileytheRavensFan]

Facts. These bread winners can't spell their kids' names, they don't know their birthdays, and other important things about their own kids. I've seen one dude who couldn't even tell you what color his kid's eyes were.

[@deirdremorris9234]

Young ladies HAVE to look at this the way men look at things: logically, strategically and without emotion. Having a partner is a HUGE liability! Ive heard it all. Children are not a "problem or bother". They are precious. But there is No guarentee they will be healthy. They may grow to hate you!! Do you really want to bring a sweet innocent person into this hell hole?

[@dianaprince3176]

😂😂 Males are emotional as hell. They aren’t “logical” at all

[@limo5724]

Well. Children are actually pretty awesome to have. But you're right, they introduce vulnerabilities. We need to be very strategic and smart, and even more so if we want to have children. They are absolutely both a bother and incredibly precious.

[@deirdremorris9234]

@@limo5724 Right. To clarify: kids are not the problem. I have several. All are wonderful. The last one is high on the spectrum and may be with us forever. No biggie: she is fantastic. But imagine severly disabled children that need 24/7 care. Our govts are not helping the most volnerable. Its just best to Not get with a guy. Maybe if he is fully vetted, transparent and tested by outside sources. And its way better to not have kids. We are birthing them into misery. My adult kids may never be able to buy a home. Rents are demonic. Heck I cannot afford a dog!

[@limo5724]

@@deirdremorris9234 I hear that so loud and clear! And I get it. I have no idea about what we will do about housing. Honestly I don't know how there won't be some kind of collapse. And you're right about vetting. I guess this is why arranged marriages are a thing in some cultures. Though I'm sure those are terrible in their own way, at least the families recognize just how serious bringing kids into the world is. Or even sex is. Here in the US people are totally oblivious.

[@riw203]

Despite divorce so many other things can go wrong; what if your husband is disabled or heaven forbid he dies and there just isn't proper provision for you and your brood of kids to maintain that lifestyle? You will still have to accept the reality that you will need a back up plan, you will need to work and that trad life dream goes poof before your very eyes. Ladies have your own money, have a plan B and C in the works. Nothing is constant but change.

[@corpsehandler5321]

back in the day, if your husband died, you got his pension. nowadays nobody has a pension!

[@propainaccessories]

​@corpsehandler5321 the pension is gone and over. Most guys aren't even saving yet alone, mathcing a 401k or life insurance. A spouses death can literally bankrupt a family. People refuse to plan for that.

[@iceprincess2134]

There is insurance for that. Some often provided by his employer, some not. Then there's savings, investments, spousal IRAs, etc.

[@corpsehandler5321]

@@propainaccessories in my own case, it's almost impossible to save "for emergencies" cause every few months i'm emptying that acct to cover.... the latest emergency!

[@riw203]

@@iceprincess2134 This I know but I said when "there just isn't proper provision" its never assured that these men made sure to secure all or any of these things and in that event you are still left holding the bag.

[@whitneyrful]

My grandmother told all of her daughters to have their own money. She was told not to go to college and had to get married and be a traditional wife. She did that twice and both men cheated and left her with the kids. While her ex husbands left and started new families. The traditional housewives I know now are all working part time or full time jobs as their kids got older. They have all at one time been told by their husbands it’s their money and have gotten in an argument over it.

[@Philosophicalpaperti]

The saddest thing about trad wives is how predictable it all is. 😕

[@beepbopboop7727]

Tbh this is common sense. The fact that this needs to be explained is mind boggling.

[@BurbNBougie]

But if your common sense is being born into a religion like the evangelicals, Jehovah witness, 7 day Adventists, Mormons, or Catholics or whatever, your baseline for common sense ain't common

[@laceykanda995]

​@@BurbNBougie Exactly!!!

[@maam-yj8ph]

I both agree and disagree. I don't understand how girls and young women can look at their mothers etc. who were housewives and not see the grueling expectations that are either self-imposed or imposed by society. At the same time if your father/mother was a good provider with good support, I can understand how modern conveniences could have colored the perceptions of what full-time child rearing etc. was like for your parents.

[@ruthmchuwen]

@@maam-yj8phthey think they’re special, it will never happen to them. Time is the master, and life experience the best teacher. Not everyone can be saved

[@cloud9beauty]

@@BurbNBougiethx for having compassion for those of us who learned these lessons too late. I too fell prey to prioritizing love and family over money. I was taught that chasing money is greedy and empty, and I lacked love and connection growing up. I prioritized what I thought was “loftier” than chasing soulless, shallow money. I now understand the world is soulless and shallow, and so are most of its ppl. No room for love and family anymore (for many of us), just gotta bury our souls and worship money IG.

[@empressierra]

I am a “religious “ person, as some may call it. I remember dating and talking about marriage with my husband. He wanted a traditional wife and would quote the Bible verses that stated a wife should do this and that. He knew that my desire is to please God above just being married, for the sake of saying I am married. Anyway, at the time we were dating I had a mentor in the church I attended, and asked her questions on this and everything. What she explained to me and showed me in scripture is that the Bible actually supports a balanced relationship. People (especially men) tend to cherry pick the Bible to fit their narrative. I am so blessed she showed me that, because there was absolutely no way I could give a man control over me that way. My mother raised me strong and independent & the idea that I’d completely relay on my spouse was then and is still a dealbreaker for me. I’d happily stay single if I needed that. Note: my husband did I state he wanted the traditional lifestyle, but also said he would be fine if I didn’t want to. So he wasn’t pushy, and I was glad he wasn’t so set in his I’m the man ways.

[@misspriss2482]

This. Thank you for this comment. I'm getting tired of people blaming God and religion when it's actually pastors and men who twist Scripture to benefit them.

[@Lambeh]

​@@misspriss2482 I think it's very difficult to separate the leaders of the religion from the religion. I don't begrudge anyone who is religious, but certainly I take their opinions with a huge grain of salt. I grew up in an episcopal church that slowly became a bunch of catty drama among the congregation at the same time I was really coming into questioning the world as a middle schooler. At first I was in the tenuous position of "God loves me and doesn't care if I attend church as long as I am a good person who does no harm" and finally landed into being an atheist by the end of highschool. Because I saw how easily organized religion manipulated and othered people. Sure, it's the leaders of this church, but it is also the blind faith that religion often calls for.

[@I.am.hooked]

Please share those scriptures. ❤

[@empressierra]

@@misspriss2482 you’re welcome. The reason I wanted to share was because I am sick of “religion/christians” being the scapegoat for this

[@FourEyedOwl]

Would love to know the parts of the Scripture your mentor shared with you. ❤ Going through something similar myself, where I have super religious family members demanding that I lower my standards because God wants women subservient to men.

[@daughterofyemoja]

Tbh, I kind of stopped caring about these trad wives/sahm and their stories because a lot of them will call women like me who question this lifestyle bitter, jaded or jealous even though most of us are genuinely concerned for these women. So yeah good luck and I wish you the best. 👍🏿

[@bellavega8048]

This comment here 👆🏽 A lot of these SAHWs are these judgmental Christian types who are delusional in thinking that “God is going to provide” and they tend to think their husbands are the prize until they find out later that God didn’t provide or protect them from their husband’s cheating and abandonment of them. They think they know it all so it’s best to leave them be.

[@OnandUpward111]

It's not genuine. Why the concern for a decision that doesn't involve you?There are a myriad of problems worth being concerned about that doesn't get the attention it needs.

[@daughterofyemoja]

@@OnandUpward111 Probably for the same reason that I, despite being childfree, care about the health and safety of children which is why I've literally chosen a career that focuses on protecting children from harm.... Idk why you're confused? Anyway, no need to worry about me genuinely caring or not because like I stated I've stopped caring about this whole subject. Nevertheless, I wish trad wives/SAHM the best. Also, B&B talks about various subjects on this channel so yeah people are able to care/talk about multiple things at the same time.

[@OnandUpward111]

@daughterofyemoja not the same. All adults have due diligence to the youth one way or another. A marriage and how it operates isn't anyone's business but the people in it.

[@daughterofyemoja]

@@OnandUpward111 OK 👍🏿

[@islandgirl8067]

Some of the tradwives on tik tok are in higher income brackets. They can afford to pay nanny’s & housekeepers, so they can film videos in glamorous clothes with makeup & perfect hair. Your average housewife is actually doing all the housework & childcare, so it’s far from being a glamorous life.

[@ragingrn8342]

The person who makes the Gold also make the Rules. Ladies, if you want to Rule over your Life then make sure you are making the Gold!

[@Vanessa-ii7cc]

"A time when most women were homemakers"... The world is not the US.🤦‍♀️

[@the.masked.one.studio4899]

I grew up near Templeton. Most people are evangelical and this is one of the MOST conservative areas of the country. I hung out with more of the punk types and they’re still shockingly traditional (or at least they were when I was a teen). It’s amazing how going back there is like time traveling. To be honest it’s not terribly different from the Mormons in Utah. Needless to say I F ing hate that place and will never go back 🤣 I won’t even let my daughter go there.

[@annmarieknapp]

I live in an Uber conservative area. I moved here for a job. The people in this area think I'm an alien with massive eyes and a grey-green complexion, given my independent views. I'm from the Northeast and am a professional woman. I am stunned by the oppressive right-wing views peddled by the folks in my community. My students feel sorry for me because I'm alone with a cat. These Boso's don't get that I am actually pretty happy living alone. There is zero shame involved because the price for living with another person is too high to pay.

[@monicawitherspoon6627]

I'm 47. I've always had older friends so I could learn from their experiences. My good friend, now in her 70s, went through something similar 10 years ago. Her husband passed away after a prolonged illness and the rebound from her trad wife lifestyle was not pretty. The financial aspect alone was enough but the reality of many other of her life's sacrifices were heartbreaking. Talk to older women about their experiences it will help you avoid some of the traps and pitfalls in life. Be mindful.

[@blairslife2293]

You always see women making videos about how awesome it is to be a trad wife but you never see the men saying it’s amazing to be a trad husband. Like why is none of the men saying how they love leaving home at 5/6am to exhaust their body for their family and pay every single bill……😅😅😅

[@corimoon3360]

You act like women aren’t exhausting their bodies having kids and managing everything for more than 8 hours a day….

[@phijona]

I heard that sometimes men grow to resent their traditional wives for not bringing home money, even though it is usually the husband who proposed said arrangement.

[@starlingswallow]

I'd be way more inclined to be a somewhat SAHW with my now husband. Staying at home, taking care of kids, cooking, baking and cleaning BECAUSE my husband is my equal and we are a team~ and I actually love doing these kinds of things because* My husband treats me like a human he delights in, and he is constant, not a single bit of wavering in how he acts & treats me for over 6 years. And~ he helps run our house too! I'm not alone. My last marriage? PAH!! Trad wife all the way and it almost killed me. Working 60+ hrs a week alongside my ex and he _still_ insisted I do everything with the house alone, because I was "the wife". I was used and abused for 14 years 😢 I learned a lot, so I don't regret it....maybe just regret how submissive I was when inside my head I was screaming 😩😢😤🤯

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

Your ex-husband didn't want a partner, he wanted a slave. He built his career and wanted you to still help pay the bills and do all the things that he didn't want to do as a grown up, under the guise of being "traditional".

[@vikki8699]

Oh your current marriage is beautiful ❤🎉 congratulations!! Equal partnership IS the goal. Well done!! 😘

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

How does that song lyric go from Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her”? For 15 years she had a job Without one raise in pay Now she’s in the typing pool At minimum wage For modern audiences, we can replace “typing pool” with “checkout counter” or “customer service pool”.

[@dfya3294]

I read another article (I can't find it at the moment) that talked about the model that became a mormon & had several kids before 25 (I think her name starts w/ a N) & it pointed out that these trad wife only post videos of them cooking & not the other stuff that comes w/ the territory like washing clothes & actually cleaning because A) it's not glamorous & B) they still had outside help like a cleaning service. So the article explained that tradwife lifestyle is connected to classism & it only benefits those that has money to outsource the "dirty stuff". I really hope these young girls see the bigger picture so they won't get trap.

[@donabeth4561]

Even if you get a judgment for alimony, it doesn’t mean your exhusband will pay it. I know from experience.

[@sammijo125]

If you want the trad life do it safely. Every entity should be joint: House, cars, businesses, investments, and bank accounts. He should give you a set amount for your retirement and, a prenup giving you cash for the number of years married. If he balks or is uneasy doing any of that, you know he isn’t willing to protect you and give you security for the duration of the relationship. If he dies or leaves you will have something. Also if he can’t afford to do any of that you can’t afford to be a trad wife.

[@GodWokeMeUp]

Always have something to fall back on... Don't ever fully depend on a man. I went through a horrible divorce and had to put myself through school and take care of my child. Always protect yourself and have something you can do to take care of yourself.

[@samuelzulu9731]

God first and all these things will never happen

[@neneosei7168]

why didn't you get a settlement from your ex husband ?

[@lesliewit]

It's the woman still married and the last women's comments that I think these trad wife people need to be listening to. Even if you are still in a happy marriage, what you wanted in your twenties will be totally different than what you want in your 40s and 50s. Believe me, who I was in my twenties is not who I am in my 40s. And to sit there and say,"well you picked this lifestyle so you have to live with it", as if human beings aren't supposed to change and grow, is yet another indicator to me that this is an attempt to fetishize women into participating in a world that existed for 2 1/2 decades tops! It's weird and it's very dysfunctional.

[@LondonLady24]

It's funny. I've only seen women in their 20s advocating for trad wife lifestyles. Women in their 40s and 50s know all that glitters is not gold.

[@mslindadoll]

Been there, done that. Take my word for it- DON"T DO THIS.

[@prettybrwneyez7757]

I concur!

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

I was a stay at home wife and mom and it's a lucky thing that's what I wanted because both of my kids have high functioning autism and the fact that I was able to be there for them constantly in their early years is what helped them get a bit of an early "boost" to relate/connect to the world sooner. Now, that is not the life for everyone and I've never looked down on working moms; my mom was one and so were most of my friends' moms when I was a teen. In fact, I LOVED being the mom that could be there for the working parents if they and their kids needed my help after school. I loved being the warm and welcoming house where all my kids friends knew they could come over mostly any time. LOL, it was actually EASIER on me when I had a house full of kids because having their friends around made my children more grounded/focused and all I had to do was supervise and provide snacks. When my kids were 9 and 12, my husband had been out of work for a while and it lead to a to me having a complete mental breakdown. (Partly because I kept my fears inside and was trying to protect my cowardly husband from worrying about me). So, eventually, things fell apart.

[@deirdremorris9234]

See. We need stories like yours! The stress of having a child with special needs can become overwhelming. Throw in a sick parent, job loss, mental health...you are just a click away from things crashing. I too was/still am a sahm. Our youngest is on the spectrum and may very well be our 'forever child'. Not complaining. People must consider realities! ❤

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

​​@@deirdremorris9234 Yes, and I was very happy, even though I had a few extra stresses. But we had A LOT of family support, including his mom gifting us my ex's childhood home. I was the one that felt it important to be a SAHM, and my ex simply agreed even though it wasn't exactly what he wanted. But, then the kids having special needs made him super glad I was a SAHM. There were other traumas and stresses and one more thing to look out for ladies, when you marry the "nice guy", they are often extremely cowardly and I'm too nice and protective for my own good. As Melanie Hamlet discusses, he was literally killing me slowly even though he wasn't trying too. He's likely undiagnosed on the spectrum too so that made him a difficult partner. He's also very sickly and it started at a young age, so I believed any extra stress would cause a heart attack and then my kids would go through the same devastation that I did by losing a parent before reaching adulthood. It is VERY HARD to love an extreme coward, especially one in less than good health. Now that we're no longer together, he told me he found out it's very possible he's a candidate for early onset dementia, even though the two grandparents of his that had Alzheimer's were already in their 90's when it happened. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So, it's just another reason I'm glad we're not together anymore, because I would have been the very devoted wife that would take care of him and if I couldn't do it and had to put him in a home, I would have been checking up on him every day. So, he would have basically continued to kill me softly even though he isn't worthy of such devotion. I'm still not 100% well and I'll never be my old self, but I'm thriving and still look younger than 53. (He looked 50 before we were 30). I bounced back because even half black don't crack. (Terms and conditions apply)😂😂❤️❤️

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

We were 51 when he told me about the possible early dementia. It was right after one of my friends, that was our exact age, announced to a bunch of us he was already declining due to early onset dementia and that he'd known for a while and focused on living as normal life as possible until he couldn't anymore.

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

One of my replies was deleted 🤷🏻‍♀️ But one of the things I said in that post is I'm glad I'm not going to have to be the one to take care of my ex because he isn't worthy of my life force and never was. I would have continued to be the devoted wife and now I feel blessed that I won't be the one having to deal with his care or making sure a retirement home is good. He won't be unaliving me slowly anymore. We don't hate each other. We still see each other as family, but if he starts to decline mentally whilst still relatively young, he'll have to get someone else to do it. Either his current GF, or someone. I'm not sure his brothers are capable of doing all he'll need when the time comes.

[@RaqueLauren]

I just wish they'd left out the wife part. Traditional womens work should be celebrated and valued. They need to rebrand it in a way that decenters men.

[@MsStrange1526]

The world rewards everything that it values with money, respect, tributes, accolodades, trophies, statues, memorials etc...and regardless of how many men tell us how special and important being a mom and especially a SAHM is, you will notice that there's exactly zero rewards for it.

[@misspriss2482]

Zero rewards? What do you mean? Why would a woman need rewards? It's a woman's greatest joy to push out children, cook and clean, and be married to a man-child that she has to sleep with no matter how sick and tired she is. It's a woman's nature to be fulfilled by this! 🙄🙄

[@awg7068]

As an older woman who was religious and was from a culture where I expected to be a tradwife, once I became one, I experienced everything in this video. I endorse the overarching message in this video 100%, it was incredibly hard to restart my career that I stopped when I started having kids, and I had to be extremely clever to get the money together to get a lawyer to protect myself. I have known women who were also tradwives, from my culture and others, who experienced the same thing. Think long and hard before you attempt this. It's an intense amount of work that is thankless, and never ending. You get no social security of your own, and unless you have a decent war chest set-aside, you will get a rude awakening in divorce court. A regular marriage is tough, a tradwife marriage is impossible.

[@phoenixxsoul]

Giving your everything to a man that you love and being played and left like that is the biggest horror story for any woman What was the exact reason for divorce in the case of the first woman? General unhappiness and exhaustion, neglect...or there is more?

[@roarnell]

I have an unpopular opinion, which deals with the homeless with kids. IF I were to have children (I actually don't want any) with my husband, and he divorced me, I'm releasing all my parental rights to him or make him have primary custody of the children. The courts would agree in my favor. Why? Because he has the finances to take care of the children.

[@tashasc1]

But what if he does not want the kids at all, what will you do then?

[@BurbNBougie]

I have a story that speaks to why some moms don't just relinquish their kids. Whew. I'm working on it now

[@roarnell]

@@BurbNBougie I'll be sure to watch it, of course.

[@roarnell]

@@tashasc1 then he will have to go to court about it, which these men are too lazy to do.

[@BurbNBougie]

This case is terrible 😭kzbin.info/www/bejne/nnOpYZ-wityAea8

[@rowdybliss]

A man is not a plan.

[@sanara77]

It’s not enough well rounded respectful men out here to even want to be a “ traditional wife.” Most men get into these situations and take advantage of the power dynamic, they think their wife’s contribution is nil compared to what they do, they think that you’re replaceable. It’s too dangerous for this lifestyle. Even when it was the norm, the abuse, and infidelity was insane.

[@FallacyBites]

"A man can rest from dusk 'til dawn, but a woman's work is never done." THAT's the problem. These fucking guys just turn off as soon as they get home, instead of being partners with their SO's. If they just stayed mentally 'on the clock' for three hours re: dinner, dishes, and childcare (trad situation or not) things would be much more equitable.

[@shesagoddess3592]

How it impacts your children is such an important comment. What ever happened to getting alimony and 50/50 in divorce? Has that time now passed?

[@Tauruses.Love.Luxury]

I have a best friend who was raised 7th day Adventist. Her parents divorced and she and her 2 siblings were left with their dad. The mom had mental health issues after the divorce and during the marriage. She said they lived in filth with their dad. Eventually My friend was sent to the west coast as a teenager to be a nanny for another 7th day family and once she was 18 she left got a job and moved to the east coast for her work. She struggled for a long time with finding a religion that best suited her but at 43 she still hasn’t and just follows faith in her own way. She’s kind of estranged from her family but she also struggles to try and keep them in her life. Religion really destroys people. I think the successful happy stories are far and few in between and that’s another thing we need to talk about ✨💗✨

[@jacijune]

Honestly the few "traditional wives" I know of all had a side hustle. They didn't work outside the home but did things like grow and sell vegetables and herbs or sell food on the weekends or kept a village shop onto the house or made jewelry to sell. But I grew up in the Caribbean so I don't know. I think you should always have ways and means of making your own money.

[@BIVESNUMBERONEFAN]

I enjoyed this.

[@Soleilsorrel33]

You're financial and physical (think homelessness) safety as a sahw solely depends on him loving and or liking you. That doesn't account for death, illness or job loss. No a good deal any way you look at it.

[@lorrainejurdana-land3782]

My paternal grandmother who raised 6 boys had a teaching certificate in case anything would happen re: need for employment, money, divorce etc My ‘ Oma’ ( Dutch for grandmother) was born in the early 1900s.

[@lilwater3279]

Alternative career: just become a chef! Case and point. 😅

[@ZBM-jj1xr]

@StarryWaters-gq1oj Not if your name is Brooklyn Beckham. You can just wake up one day, decide to call yourself a chef and then proceed to do fuck all.

[@denesejamerson2356]

I'll gamble on some things but NOT my womb nor ability to "feed myself"!

[@TKOin2life]

I would NEVER trust a man enough to be dependent on them. They can be a prince that turns into Legion. No thank you.

[@denesejamerson2356]

What I keep reading is: "The hand that feeds you can starve you!". Umh, HELL TO THA NAWH!

[@hubabaloop]

10:49 thank you to that commenter sharing 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽!!!!!

[@louisachalarca6494]

I was there when my mom was rebuilding our lives and my dad had passed, you have to move mountains and nothing makes me prouder of my mom when she acknowledges yeah I moved mountains and kept my children in school! Wasn’t fair but she did it and no one can ever take away the bag she gained for herself

[@JukuduB]

There is a hypergamous relationship (where the husband pays all the bills and puts things in place regarding his possible death or illness) then there is this traditional wife thing. A hypergamous relationship can have a woman who has her own aspirations and hobbies and works if she chooses. The trad wife situation, in my opinion, seems extremely different and more controlling.

[@shantavanee]

I say this all the time! It is not wise to have only one paycheck coming into a household! Or not have your own. Anything can happen to the breadwinner. then before you know it..your house is in foreclosure and your car is being repossessed. It’s always smart to have a 2nd income if possible so that If the worst happens…you can still stay afloat.🙌🏽💯👌🏽

[@raywhite7179]

The worst part of this is how, after these men leave them, everyone (mostly men tbh) then go "but you married him!☕️")

[@NeptunesHorses5909]

Everyone needs to be able to make a median range income of their own plus some extra for each child. How couples/families work out early childhood is an area of temporary flexibility, but be prepared for life changes.

[@clrpurple20]

Cousin, I just wanna say thank you for showing us an array of Dusties! This is awesome!

[@BurbNBougie]

No problem!! And I never run out of content.

[@BlackandBlessed100]

4:26 that’s that sht right there lol 🤣🤣 These men see that and they ready to take ALL your youth away Don’t let him 😠

[@thelastshallbefirst6036]

Men are co-dependent by nature. Majority of men are not supposed to have access to women, they are supposed to earn you and the best men are supposed to procreate

[@annmarieknapp]

Why would any woman sign up for this life? Do these women not know about how miserable women were in 1950's?

[@JenniferBoyatt]

I mean, if you love homemaking as the way to "do you", go for it. But if you think it is a man-keeping strategy, it's just not. It's just not.

[@camiba6773]

I never felt the pressure but then i always thought for myself and knew i did not want that life. It looked so miserable.

[@Vanessa-ii7cc]

Part of me believes that there are so many girls choosing that kind of life because of the current state of everything. All over the world men and women are exhausted, overexploited, without money and prospects for their own home. No matter how hard you work, most of us feel paralyzed, unable to move forward, feeling betrayed after being promised that we only had to graduate from high school and university for everything to be okay, and wanting to leave everything and feeling that life was easier before (I feel like the world went to shit in 2012, so maybe the Maya were right and the world we knew really ended). It is socially accepted that women take care of children, which is why I feel like some are "leaving it all" but letting someone else take care of the stress because they still need a roof over their heads... It's a risky bet, but I guess everyone He is so fed up that there are people willing to do it. If it were socially accepted, men would do it too. By the way, a rather die than depend on a man.

[@limo5724]

At this point, after divorce in states like CA, a wife who doesn't work get more than a wife who does. Many women are now having to pay the husbands alimony. Also, I never understand the connection between being a trad wife and bread making or cooking. Making sourdough bread takes like 20 minutes a week total. I do it with a full time job and make our meals from scratch too.

[@Lysistrata2025]

The Wifey to WIC pipeline!

[@theinvisiblewoman5709]

I don’t believe in saying I told you so but I’d happily say it to young former trad wives who advertised that life. They will say you are too masculine, speak of the Bible and glorify the past but then after they’ve done everything “right” and they are still abused, loose him to unfortunate events, or discarded for the younger woman they are suddenly enlightened. You were warned by everyone! But you thought you knew better, so told you so.

[@caleahhhh]

i wish some tradwives wouldn't look at a backup plan as 'what if he divorces/cheats on me' because they could very well marry a wonderful man but he could pass unexpectedly, get into an accident, get laid off, etc. and they'll be in the same predicament

[@mpazinambao2938]

I'd give him custody of the kids. Why would i keep them if i can't even afford them meanwhile he's on vacation?!

[@gitaiyer7480]

I'm happy my parents were anti-marriage and anti-kids... and they never switched up... The only reason they got married and had kids, was because they grew up in a time and a place where that was not an option, period. But they never misled me. Even my father who is traditional by most standards... would always roll his eyes and scowl when I was young and would playfully say, "I don't need to be a CEO... I just need to marry a rich man." ..... I am 37. Never been married, never had any kids. Men are not what they used to be, and not in the good way... young women don't realize the actual burden they are signing up for.

[@SenatiaA]

When living the traditional wife style, she most likely voted against all the social safety nets she needs right now.

[@soniachambers6460]

Who is benefitting from men and women working til they nearly drop ? Lots of kids are virtually orphans nowadays, their exhausted parents are barely home or when they are they are checked out from exhaustion and lack bonding with their kids as they hardly see them. This is all a social construct, which other people who have the lions share of wealth in this world constructed for their ultimate benefit.

[@helena3631]

This but staying home and not atleast doing a part time job as a women will mess u up in the long run .. men opperate in thier own self interest and when they find a new girl and they will they out the door men are temporary ur lively hood is forever

[@mznaeture]

Pursue Passions 💯 Passionate Pursuits 👏🏾🤸🏾😘

[@raynemaxwell2000]

I can totally understand her excitement. When I called police in Omaha, NE to have my ex convicted for statutory rape, they asked me if I consented. The officer could not understand that the definition of statutory rape is that a minor cannot legally give consent. When I reported my story to one of their local news agencies, he suggested that I was making it up to get back at my ex....Sir, a child was conceived before I was old enough to give consent to the activities that make that possible...how do you fake that? None of them could math the math, though. The female prosecutor just decided not to prosecute....my eldest female child was kidnapped by a know SA, but no one wanted to act. It makes me wonder how many people I share my story with that will capitalize on this information, and increase these illegal activities in that area, because they now know they can get away with it. The police, news people, and prosecutors will obviously take their sides over the victims....so disgusting.

[@Erintii]

Tradwives are rich girls colsplaying being a traditional wife. They remind me of Marie Antoinette playing peasant women in the theatre of Versailles in pre revolution France. As others mentioned: women always worked through history either on a farm along husband and kids, or in a factory in 19th century or selling carrots on medieval markets. In my country, Poland, due to turbulent history of several wars and uprisings women learned centuries ago how to be in a charge of a house in men were absent or died in a war. Widows worked and were in charge of houses to feed their kids as candidates of next husbands did not pop up on a doorstep. Since 19th century women fight alongside men for independence and got voting rights in 1918 because they fight for it. Those rich content creators and right wing grifters are just colsplaying 50s and 60s commercials and get money from those buying their fantasies.

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

Commercials is right. The dream the influencers are selling NEVER EXISTED. It’s Cold War propaganda and Hollywood. Only rich women have ever been able to be “housewives.” Commoner women have always worked. Medieval women were known for making beer!

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

Yeah, neither my husband nor I ever envisioned either one of us "staying home with the kids" while the other earned a paycheck to support our family. That's just how it turned out, and I am the one in the "traditional wife role."... The reason it works for us? Because neither of us even thought about doing things this way until we decided to have kids. We looked into childcare and realized that my income would just cover the childcare expenses for both of us to continue doing what we were doing. I was the one who made this very difficult decision to be a stay at home mom. He saw the reason in it, but told me that it was fully up to me because staying home all day with children rather than being out earning money seemed like a pretty tough way to live. ...that it was totally up to me, with my husband's support either way is WHY it works for us.

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

Oh,and, no, I do not waste money on dresses and nice matching aprons in order to do housework...part of most stay at home moms' lives is saving money whenever possible and doing a lot of home maintenance and yard dirty work. It is impractical to do these things in dresses and full makeup.

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

Also,when he gets paid, I also get paid. I do not have to ask for money because a reasonable portion of each of his paychecks gets direct deposited to my account. This makes it easy for me to do all of the things I need to do without the demoralization of having to ask for money. It also helps us both see where our money is being spent and budget better for big goals we share.

[@luckylady123100]

I just couldn’t imagine having to ask my husband for maxi pad money or can I go outside. I believe in balance in a relationship, just bc you work doesn’t you mean you should know how to wash your own clothes.

[@wyntresorrow403]

It’s called baby trapping women. Don’t fall for it. Decentered men. Live for yourself. If he wants kids, give them full custody and watch him have a meltdown

[@Lokian_Mermaid]

Yes, "Trad Wife" isn't for everyone. I felt right about it, however, I also realize the humans are INDIVIDUALS. I say it all the time that we have different desires and NEEDS from life. Something A LOT of ppl don't realize is that many of the "50's Ideal Housewifves", relied on "Mother's Little Helper". So, ppl need to see that alot of women, not all, were dealing with a lot of depression and felt very unfulfilled. Men especially, need to stop talking about their mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers living that life and being happy. No, only some were, the unhappy ones simply didn't admit things to their children, even when those children were grown.

[@jaifyre702]

I'm a trad wife. I have three children from seven years old to four months old. I've been married for ten years. One thing I've learned and did over my decade of marriage was too get a degree in business and work temp jobs and even at home jobs here and there to keep my skills set fresh and my knowledge current. I'm also pursuing a degree in film as well. I don't plan to get divorced but God forbid anything happens to my husband I can pull his weight without issue. As the women who runs her home I make sure my King can be set up right if anything happens to him. We don't know what tomorrow can bring. I've been injured very bad before and I know it can happen to anybody so I do my best to set my family up for better financially if my hubby can't or decides he won't (you never know what's in someone's mind). Also it only makes sense to keep your own education and knowledge. That's self love.

[@BurbNBougie]

Thanks for chiming in. Whew girl. This is what I am trying to say. We never know. Be prepared. Dassit

[@felis1224]

Read The Femine Mystique by Betty Friedan

[@ann3923]

"Several tradwife influencers have stated they don't see a necessity to having a backup plan" Well they're lying then. Them being "tradwife influencers" is a backup plan. They aren't "tradwives" they are "tradwife _influencers_". This grift is a full time paid job.

[@helena3631]

This they get paid a lot to sell you a fantasy even though they staying at home they making income from content

[@stephaniemartin9253]

Bag ladies are real and so is becoming a widow. No back-up plan????

[@beautyandbrains1695]

I am very warry of people who blindly push the traditional marriage, especially the woman's role. Because they promote it as if it is just this perfect way of life or guarantee of happiness, but very rarely talk about the disadvantages associated with it. Like what man would really be that bothered by a woman having a job or money, expecially when it can come in handy if he cannot work anymore for some reason. Look at the Duggars, Michelle had all them kids and was traditional, but now her husband is serving time and she is struggling to support those kids. She has no real job skills to rely on. Like why would anyone promote that life style while being oblivious to the potential risks? Also, any man who has a problem with a woman having her own is problematic in my eyes. Yes, I will have a stash of money just in case you start acting a fool or wanna cheat. Every woman, married, and unmarried in my life have told me to have my own.

[@Luckimee]

Have a pre-nump that benefits you so when he does leave your covered

[@ruthmchuwen]

They can be disregarded quite easily 😢 Educate yourselves on this ladies. As an adult take pride in having your own, other women are doing it. You can do it too ❤

[@TKOin2life]

It's a must for assets if you have any but NOT a guarantee. If he starts making less money or dies without insurance you are still hurting. Have a skill and keep it current for your own protection.

[@TheCYW]

Definitely should get a prenup before becoming a trad wife where 50% of all income is deposited into an account belonging solely to the wife. In case of divorce, 50% of ALL assets goes to the wife if she bears any children (or becomes pregnant at any point during the marriage) with the husband. If she does not become pregnant with the husband, then 50% of all assets acquired during the marriage is fair. Why this arrangement? Because pregnancy is so dangerous and impactful to a woman’s health. It also greatly increases her workload. With any other arrangement, trad life makes no sense and is too great a risk for women.

[@masumi1990x]

I believe that most people in the world are pretty happy to fulfill their traditional gender roles, but if these gender roles become a household chore, there is a lot of room for building resentment. Then there is no room for gratitude and joy, because certain things are EXPECTED from the partner. Gender does not matter here. A man doesn't want to feel like an ATM all the time, and a woman doesn't want to feel like an unpaid cook and cleaner. And that pressure to be perfect...

[@dianaprince3176]

If most ppl in the world actually wanted that, there would literally be no childfree movement, no 4B movement, not MGTOW movement, etc. And yet, all of those movements are growing every day

[@masumi1990x]

@@dianaprince3176 The problem is that gender roles are expected.

[@erobinson5942]

I don’t know why women see their marriage is bad and add children. She would’ve been better off with one child young and divorced or at least with her name on everything

[@blairslife2293]

Until I see trad wives who is 30 and up with a couple of kids I will not take anyone seriously. I need to hear from them. They have the tea and the experience. Plus if they tell their story, tell it like how ressa tessa told hers. Good, bad & ugly.

[@propainaccessories]

They are back at work. Divorced. They are the managers of fast food and retail stores. Those women aren't lazy. Those are the only jobs they could get with their skills set.

[@misspriss2482]

Older tradwives stay quiet because they don't want people to know what they're putting up with to stay married. Many of them are married single mothers who are getting cheated on if not also verbally and mentally abused. Those women do everything while the man mows the lawn, maintains the car, cleans the gutters, and fixes stuff around the house. Everything else is her job.

[@iceprincess2134]

I'm not quite sure what definition of "tradwife" people are using lately, but I might qualify. I'm 39, 3 kids, been doing it for 12 years.

[@LGrian]

A lot of the most popular trad wives are in their 30s with a few kids. Check back in their 40s though…

[@Fatima-zs3mo]

My question is why do these women think they have to have soul custody of their children go 50-50, or let the dad take custody so you can get yourself back together so I see them choosing struggle with them in their kids when they can give that burden to their father

[@gitslover9834]

I used to work with a woman who never married the father of her son, but he would take his son for a week sometimes two weeks.

[@lovelyA933]

I grew up with parents in a traditional marriage.... it's enough evidence for me to not want to pursue this lifestyle in the future

[@gothkid1011369]

9:49 I don’t know where any of this stuff went, and I don’t even have kids yet… this relationship is poison for me.. it sucks, cause I love him, but like not enough to kill myself, because the stress will actually end me I have started noticing physiological responses to it that are really bad like the sweats are awful. My muscles will contract by themselves like a literally start twitching at random like I am having muscle spasms my heart rate fluctuates. Sometimes I feel nauseous like my body is literally fighting me either him or me at this point and I gotta choose myself because I have to be here for my mom, I have a family that I was born into that need me.