Proper London Underground Etiquette | Mock The Week

What's the worst Tube experience you've ever had? #mocktheweek #daraobriain #london #standupcomedy #hughdennis
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Mock the Week is a British topical, satirical celebrity panel show, that was created by Dan Patterson and Mark Leveson.

[@Ibis117]

On the DLR, but I think it still counts. About 10 years back, train pulls into Canary Wharf on Hallowe'en evening. Doors open both sides, as they do. On leaps a guy dressed as the Joker (full Heath Ledger make-up) with "Ta-Da!", or similar. Nothing. Not a murmur, tut, chuckle, or sigh. Sheer silence. He deflated like a stabbed balloon, and more or less slid off the train back onto the platform.

[@jamiejones8508]

Haha! I’m a Londoner and I’ve often appreciated this. Probably most notably when I was arranging a 3 foot high green marie antoinette wig with stuffed mice in the middle on my head…or when I was dressed as a completely red painted devil with horns for a protest march at 11 am on the train or when I got my mate to help me into an implausible corset on the platform. No one even blinks. You can pretty much do anything without comment...it’s great :-)

[@Lee_303]

They'll wail about it in the Mail, no doubt 😂

[@PlanetoftheDeaf]

Hugh should have played a villain in the last Bond film!

[@ShannonJacobs0]

But KZbin is all about censorship. Noticed all the extra ads lately? You better not DARE say anything about them. The google is so EVIL these days.

[@AShadowinthedark]

He just played a random scientists instead

[@markbrown2640]

He might have been a villain, but he was gone so quickly that we never found out. It's like that Robot Chicken sketch where the guy from the cantina scene in Star Wars turned out to be an architect and his friend was just claiming to be wanted criminals. The architect only spoke in those barks and growls, so he could not give his story before Obi-Wan lopped off his arm.

[@usvalve]

I like to teach this important cultural point to foreign language students by hiding behind an imaginary newspaper, and swaying slightly from side to side while making a "ba-dum, ba-dum.... ba-dum, ba-dum" sound effect. The only time you should speak on a tube train is to apologise if somebody steps on your foot.

[@dancedecker]

Excellent stuff of course, especially from Hugh. Somewhere on KZbin, there's an hilarious fake news report about a northerner saying "Morning" to someone on the tube and them then being totally traumatised by it. Worth a look if you get chance. It's under... "Northerner terrorises London by saying "Hello"." Very funny, especially to someone from T' North like me. Eee by gum, it was reet good fetler. Lol.

[@Vilhelm22]

Unfortunately police had to release him as politeness is not a crime until next year. It’s the Mash Report and is so perfectly London it’s amazing.

[@dancedecker]

@@Vilhelm22 Indeed it was. Excellent

[@ben-9123]

I’ve seen that. I’m told my Grandfather, a proper northerner, would walk through Hyde Park wishing everyone a ‘Good Morning’, and then wonder why they were all being so unfriendly.

[@dancedecker]

@@ben-9123 Well, there you go then. To be fair, I'm in London quite often for work and I have had Londoner's say "Good morning" to me. It's rare, but it does happen and did surprise me a bit. I think it maybe depends upon where you are. Your grandfather and the guy in the "fake news" sketch were in central London. I'm mostly in Richmond or Wandsworth, so maybe it's just a Central London thing? But certainly your evidence backs the sketch up, so thanks for that. Cheers.

[@SaintPhoenixx]

Hugh looks like a Russian prison guard when he does that expression.

[@pencilpauli9442]

Was visiting a friend in London, and he told me to stop smiling and saying thank you to the people in the ticket booths. My thought was, if being polite is not the done thing, then I'm definitely going to keep doing it. It's since been my life's mission To nice Londoners into submission! With a smile and a wink I'll make cockneys think That this Brummie has a facial condition.

[@Ibis117]

Then again, it is *mandatory* to say "thank you" to the bus driver when you get off.

[@OldRaver]

I do that too (Northern parents) I managed to get an entire carriage singing once on the way to Dagenham from the City! Yes, it was the last train🤣 Alcohol helps. But still a great memory! (Can’t for the life of me remember the song tho! Was 3o years ago!!!)

[@pencilpauli9442]

@@OldRaver haha That's brilliant! The singing that is, not the forgetting which song! lol

[@markbrown2640]

Those polite, helpful Canadians.

[@1987MartinT]

That fucking look of disdain on Hugh's face is amazing!

[@razza1171]

"You are a Foreigner" XD XD XD

[@malcolmrose3361]

I remember on the day after the 7th July 2005 tube bombings entering High Barnet Station and the guy at the turnstiles smiling and saying "good morning" to me - I nodded back, thinking that the morning seemed very strange already. Getting on the train and taking my normal seat a couple of the other regulars actually smiled and said "good morning" - as I've always been of the belief that the best defence against terrorism is to return to normal life as soon as possible I ignored everyone as much as possible and read my book.

[@diyatom]

Best comedy series ever ❤️

[@lesleyvivien2876]

And that's why it had to die? 😢

[@einy2crikey]

He was wrong about talking to someone with a dog. I was in London for a week once. The first day I got on a train, a guy got on with a dog and I said, "What a beautiful dog!" The guy asked for money to buy dog food. 3 days later, same man, same dog, on a different tube line. He started asking everyone for dog food money again. Don't speak to people with dogs, either.

[@decodolly1535]

I see a bloke on my evening train asking for money for a hostel because he's just that day been released from hospital after having his arm amputated. He's been on the same train route, at the same time every day, with the same story, for at least two months - so a few problems with this: Even Doctor Octopus couldn't have an arm amputated each day for 2 months. It's a commuter route, during rush-hour. All the very regular passengers recognise him and his scam. His "amputated" arm is very plainly visible tucked behind his back inside his jacket.

[@NotoriousWhistler]

To be fair, Hugh said don't talk to people on the tube unless YOU'VE got a dog, not unless THEY'VE got a dog. Rule seems to still stand.

[@peterdixon6807]

Yeah, how am I going to feed my dog if I can’t ask people for money?

[@TheNeilsolaris]

The dog would only have spent the money on alcohol and drugs!

[@pintpullinggeek]

​@@TheNeilsolaris Captain Pawgon's and grrrrass

[@arataya8706]

All that excellent work, and the points didn’t even go to Hugh’s team.

[@danimayb]

It is an old unwritten rule for sure, usually in peak hours.. I think it was born out of frustrations with conversation flowing when waves of people are huddled up lol (and many don't know each other as they going to work). But it's not an actual rule, And I talk to family/friends on the tube.. But at a respectful level. Sometimes I ride peak hours, And I may speak to someone I know.. But generally those times are very silent among passengers.

[@jack2719]

2:24 but Dara’s foreign too. 😂😂

[@johnburn8031]

True and hilarious!

[@romainsavioz5466]

😐

[@Sameer-Mustafah-Raza1-2-1]

Hugh just kills me @ 2:42 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@just-tess]

you punish him...😂

[@simonrmerton]

A fun game to play on the Tube is the itching game.

[@SidneyBroadshead]

*_Mock the Week_* (S11, Ep12; 11 October 2012) Host: Dara O'Briain Team 1: Andy Parsons (captain 1), Katherine Ryan, Josh Widdicombe Team 2: Chris Addison, Hugh Dennis (captain 2), Milton Jones Katherine Ryan's first appearance. Also the first appearance with Katherine Ryan, Josh Widdicombe, and Milton Jones on in the same episode.

[@david103857]

They look so young!

[@davidv.8655]

As a northerner , i always find it hilarious how utterly miserable londoners are. Particularly on the tube. The only time i felt i was allowed to chat to people normally was when the Olympics were on in 2012. I think London went on holiday to get away from it and normal people came from all over the world. It was brilliant !

[@simonoliver8576]

That was a very good impression of roy Hodgson by Hugh Dennis imo I have to say good old woy Hodgson bless him 🤣

[@WillDraco]

The rule is the same on the New York City subway. Anyone ever ridden a city light rail line with chatty locals?

[@malcolmrose3361]

So why do groups of awful Americans persist in talking on the Tube, impervious to being glared at by every Brit in the car? 😀

[@1258-Eckhart]

I always give tourists the wrong information, e.g. "you have to change at Pimlico".

[@panda4247]

Why?

[@1258-Eckhart]

@@panda4247 Because.

[@TomFynn]

"And the London Underground is not a political movement." - A Fish called Wanda

[@JamesCalbraith]

I miss London.

[@philipmarlowe4682]

Hugh is partially true.

[@Andrewjg_89]

Could of had Geoff Marshall on that show. 😂

[@BucKt0]

lol as a non-londoner who travels to london relatively often i once asked a guy on a tube platform for advice about the next tubes destination. "does this next train go to st. james' park?" "i reckon it does y'know mate" he says back so i got on the train and, of course, it didn't go to st. james' park i'm pretty sure he deliberately told me the wrong thing just because it was funny for him as a local londoner to do that to visitors fortunately i realized before the next stop that i was on the wrong train and i fixed it by getting off at the next station and waiting for the next train, it wasn't a big deal at all, no time lost but the real funny thing is that i saw the same guy on the same tube on the journey back some 7 hours later, and i said "ha you had it wrong mate" and he apologized all like, "aw mate, as soon as you got on the train, i realized i was wrong, haha my bad" but no doubt he wasn't sorry at all and he told me the wrong thing on purpose lol the moral of the story is maybe it's better people on the underground don't talk to eachother much in some cases i have since learned the tube routes myself

[@hip2thabone_da_sticky1]

2:23 poor Katherine! 😆

[@TapDancerDood]

A very unfunny girl.

[@HAWKOBRIAN]

Gods, I miss this show...

[@minibus9]

nice

[@Mattheq]

Don't it make you proud to be British?

[@DomWeasel]

Jimmy Carr is right; Katherine Ryan does now look like Joan Rivers.

[@SaintPhoenixx]

She now looks like the Madame Tussauds waxwork of a sexdoll after a warm day.

[@davidmaxwaterman]

Two of them say they are going to ask Hugh a question and neither of them actually do... both statements.

[@pauls3204]

Beautiful Catherine Ryan before the Botox etc.

[@robbie2894]

@katherineryan , two letters, OG

[@lidbass]

Obstreperous Gynaecologist? Only Goats? Objects Gone? Obey Granite? Offensive Grouting?