Love Is Blind - Season 5 - #34 - (Stacy Calls Izzy Insane) - Therapist Reacts

[@yaizarodriguez159]

Didn’t Stacy tell Lydia in the pods: your past is a map and who really cares about you won’t use it against you but to know how to love you?

[@devochkadee]

Oh you’re so spot on 😂funny how people ignore their own advice

[@ms-corleone]

I had conveniently forgotten about that…

[@kaytlinirwin8426]

@@azac9627that ain’t the focus of this video

[@AllyMack23]

I don't think she's holding it against him that he's had sex with other women, I think she's assuming he kept those things to show her that he's a player or something.

[@nbucwa6621]

@@kaytlinirwin8426 then he PRESENTLY has no cutlery or crockery, no nightstands and a drawer full of exes' mementos.

[@kaybey406]

Stacey is looking for a man to replace her father. She wants to be spoiled and taken care of. It was unfair if her to continually make Izzy feel bad for not being that person. That’s my opinion of her.

[@maddiefaye696]

Agreed

[@fruityeva]

I agree. I wanted the same in my first relationship😅

[@stephaniesilvan3526]

Even her father wants to replace her father. :D He explicitly told Izzy he needs to pay for her airconditioning (or whatever her house needed), so he - the father - doesn't have to. Apparently, her paying for her own stuff isn't even an option.

[@BfromSF]

I think Izzy is insecure with Stacy (money, confidence, life experiences, etc) and he wants her to know he's had a lot of women / is desirable to others.

[@ckwanita907]

I think what is really upsetting her is that she feels like Izzy isn't trying to impress her, and it makes her feel insecure. I totally felt like this at times as a teen, i thought everyone was like me and carefully planned everything to try to impress people. Which is actually pretty uncommon and unhealthy lol, i know now.

[@elizabethdunn2788]

Personally I feel like Stacy has been making Izzy feel inadequate and “not enough” a lot, mostly because of their different lifestyles but also with her expectations in a relationship which I think really comes through in later episodes. So with that in mind, maybe keeping the drawer and showing her is Izzy’s way of showing Stacy that he is wanted, that other women are attracted to him and that “he has that going for him”. Perhaps it can make Stacy feel a bit insecure, just like he feels insecure towards her. It levels the playing field in a way.

[@ChelseaSeachel]

I couldn’t agree more.

[@ff2154]

Oohhhh...didn't consider that. Izzy showing that he had options and that Stacy should feel "Lucky" to have him

[@alenaftw]

Oooo damn this is an interesting take

[@amara560]

This is a very interesting theory

[@maybememory1]

I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but it was hard to watch a rich woman try to justify her (in my opinion) spoiled behavior by saying that two generations ago, her family struggled, ‘And not just vacations’. A year and a half ago, I was going to the food bank. Vacations aren’t even in my vocabulary. Yet she’s using it to justify her classist behavior. I’m sure that she grew up with her father trying to keep her grounded, but she herself never had to suffer in that way. It just made it sound like the only adversity she’s faced was having to fly in business class.

[@tessasusanna]

Too bad the "lost and found" didn´t contain any cutlery🍴

[@devochkadee]

*spoiler alert* If Izzy kept the ‘lost and found’ box out of honesty, then he has a very selective honesty streak 😂 because he has no problems omitting other very important bits of information later on

[@Tcab96]

@SeventiesLeoyep. Especially if he had already told Johnie in the pods that he had bad credit to the point she was talking about it openly.

[@tb89117]

He might be acting like this because the women he was talking to seemed so judgmental and a lot of people in the public eye don’t give the benefit of the doubt. He was honest about the paper plates and the lost and found drawer, and look where it got him

[@Bree5three]

@@Tcab96 But that narrative of progressively closing off doesn't work when Stacy's scrutinizing ways didn't show up until now. They had a chance to address it in the pods when she was the "fun girl". He chose not to say anything while being an open book to Johnie. I think he sensed/knew Stacy came from money or was better off than most in the pods and knew to hold back that one thing to not interfere with her chances of picking him.

[@devochkadee]

@tb89117 but I also believe Stacy mentioned asking him about his financial history as early as in the pods. I think he definitely was nervous to reveal this information to her but that's not really a viable excuse. I think if you're going to marry someone, you have an obligation to disclose and be honest when they specifically ask you

[@devochkadee]

@@Bree5three yep

[@Nita_Key]

Having a lost and found drawer is a red flag for me. Looking at the drawer and deciding not to throw the items away before your fiance visits is a bigger red flag. Bringing a lost and found drawer to your new place (according to Johnny he just signed a lease) is a red sheet set.

[@WhitLin31]

Yes! He specifically kept it and brought it with him. What was the intention? I hate how when he is asked to explain anything he just says he didn't mean to. Ok-what DID you mean by it?

[@mannyapp9095]

😮

[@Bobojuno]

A red sheet set 😂

[@MarianneElizabeth00]

That’s so interesting to me, because I feel quite different about it. I used to often find girl t shirts/scrunchies/loose earrings under my boyfriend’s bed when we started dating and we would just laugh about it? I would find it funny to keep that kind of stuff as well as Izzy

[@lexmarkx75]

Why is it exactly a red flag? What does it indicate to you, and the story you're building in your head?

[@vania5298]

I also don't like her materialism. But I respect how smart she was in reading inconsistencies in his behavior through clues in his apartment. Seeing how things unfolded in the last few episodes, she smelled right when she doubted his credibility. There was a moment at her house when she showed him her collection of wine glasses, cutlery, etc., and he didn't open his mouth to say that things were different in his apartment. He waited for her to open the cabinet and see the disposable stuff. Exactly as happened with the credit issue.

[@lomarss1589]

My thoughts exactly. I understood the lost and found discussion to be her noticing inconsistencies and wanting a narrative that made sense to her. Izzy’s narrative didn’t really make sense because he kept saying conflicting things (it was intentional, it was not intentional) and his narratives don’t really make a ton of sense for this reason. Stacy is really tuned into this, imo. And I still see that she’s critical and such.

[@Peanut_taco_muffin]

I don’t think that’s necessarily fair. Most people have glass or ceramic dishes and I’m sure he knows that. He didn’t think she would care as much as she did that he didn’t have them, so why would he mention it beforehand? To him it was a non-issue. Honestly, I wouldn’t have cared and a lot of other women wouldn’t either.

[@teeveeclub]

@@Peanut_taco_muffinAbsolutely. He should have just told the truth: “This is an AirBnB…so no, I didn’t buy plates because I don’t have a permanent place for myself.”

[@andedom]

@@Peanut_taco_muffinyeah, assuming that he purposely didn’t tell Stacy about his paper plates seems like a bit of a stretch to me but who knows, I guess…

[@andedom]

@@teeveeclubhave you been to an Airbnb? They never have paper plates. They almost always have ceramic plates and metal utensils…

[@paryagiagorji909]

Not a big Stacy fan and I don’t necessarily agree with her comments but I can see why she’d feel uncomfortable with the lost and found thing and I keep thinking how Izzy might react if the situation was reversed, if she had a lost and found in her bedroom. How would most people feel looking at items left behind by people your partner had sex with. I’m willing to bet most of us would be uncomfortable with that. Some might even feel disgusted by it or feel angry about it, not really sure if it makes logical sense, it feels like a visceral reaction. Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way.

[@onedirectionlover317]

That's a very fair reaction, and you're not the only one who feels that way. On the other hand, Dr. Honda's analysis about Izzy wanting to be transparent and not acting out of fear also makes sense to me. Different people have different definitions and expectations of transparency vs. privacy. For me, I'm naturally an oversharer, and am very much the "I don't want to have to hide my past" kind of person, so I have made it a point to at least allude to my exes, talked about past crushes, etc. in initial pre-dating stages (my relationships tend to arise out of friendships, so they're more natural topics of convo, but I'd make a point of doing that when I noticed myself getting interested in a guy), and I'd tbh want to know that stuff about a guy as well. Relationships are crucial (and I wouldn't date the hookup type of guy at all, tbh, but if I did, I'd at least want to know a bit about what that stage of his life was like and what headspace he was in then), and they shape who you are today, so I'd feel like I didn't really know a guy unless I knew at least a bit about that stuff. In Stacy's shoes, I'd want to know that Izzy was the type who had a "lost-and-found drawer", and why, so for me, if he'd thrown it out and not mentioned it at all (and, say, I managed to find out after looking in the dumpster for whatever reason), then I'd find that a little deceptive, as if he were deliberately trying to paint himself a certain way, and if he threw it out and did mention it in order to be "somewhat transparent", I'd probably wonder "well why did you throw it out only now? Were you worried about what I'd see?". Idk. Ofc I'd want him to donate the stuff moving forward, but if I were going to date a guy who'd hooked up with tons of women in the past, and who had a "lost and found" box that he'd kept until the day before I was supposed to come over (even if it was just b/c he forgot about it until then), then I'd rather see it. The hooking up would be incompatible with my values and the type of guy I'd want, to be quite honest, but if I could get past that, the box wouldn't necessarily make me uncomfortable because I hate throwing stuff out even for myself, and as someone who keeps losing her earrings, I'd be grateful to get a lost item back lol. So all of that is to say that I definitely get Stacy's discomfort, but I also get people having different expectations and desires around "transparency" and what they want transparency about, especially w.r.t. a partner's past, and so I think that's a discussion that has to happen in order for both partners to make sure they respect their partners based on the partner's definition of respect.

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah, being concerned is totally understandable.

[@deadlypouliche36]

The transgenerational trauma talk, especially about immigrant parents reminds me of a beautiful scene in the TV show Sex Education. When Eric’s dad is dropping him off at a school dance and is worried for his openly queer kid. He says something about working so hard to feel like he belongs as a black man in a mostly white environment and that he is afraid that his son is making his own life even more difficult by being so different. Eric then says I’m going to suffer either way so l’d rater be myself… then his dad tells him how courageous he is. ❤ Gosh I love this show.

[@Sough]

The difference here is that Stacy's family are rich straight white people😅

[@andedom]

@@Sough i kinda get where you’re coming from but wealth doesn’t shield people from most types of trauma. Many people in fact pursue wealth at the expense of their children and end up with very wealthy, very damaged children who would have led happier, more fulfilling lives with much less money and much more love and attunement from their parents.

[@andedom]

The way Dr H that is able to perceive/intuit Stacy’s father’s reaction to trans generational trauma and the way he is able to intuit the cause of Stacy’s maladaptive behavior is beyond impressive. Their obsession with wealth/class is so destructive and leads to so much bad behavior and bad outcomes for society and the environment. I really hope that he breaks down the first time Izzy meets Family Stacy on this show!

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah. I've seen this before. Poverty and class oppression can affect later generations.

[@Eilvain]

​@@PsychologyInSeattleUnfortunately very common in many clients and people

[@LaurynJuhl]

So true! I think Stacy’s Dad’s comment about, “Sometimes love wants to fly first class” just further cements this hypothesis.

[@cheery-hex]

lmao

[@M.K12144]

I agree! I had really little empathy for Stacy because she seemed so spoiled and out of touch, but framing the trans generational trauma helps me understand and be able to empathize with her and at least see where she’s coming from.

[@mannyapp9095]

Honestly I relate to Izzy's perspective. Not all guys want to play that role of "provider" because it isn't as important to them. I know I feel kinda devalued when I am valued because of my money or status. I also feel like the expectation for a man to pay for everything cheapens the gesture, especially when its an act of love. Being present and emotionally available matters more to guys like Izzy. When you have a single mother and you see how she survived without financial support, but struggled without the emotional support of a partner, as her son, that could be seen as more important in a relationship. Plus, Izzy may not have been told by a male figure (socialized), or even accepted, the messaging that "the man pays".

[@katarinasinfamy]

I hate that in 2023 there is still an expectation that ‘the man pays’. If we as women want to be seen as equal, we must also treat ourselves as equal.

[@carissarosalieshillingford1571]

I love everything about this comment. It is thoughtful and vulnerable. I resent the superficial expectations of partnership in this society. I never expect a man to pay for me. My husband paid on the first date and I paid on the second to set th expectation that we should share costs equally and that I expect a partner not a provider, I can provide for myself and he can provide for himself and then occasionally we like to provide for each other as romantic gestures, but never based on gender.

[@nicoler5511]

I feel like the only charitable explanation for Stacey’s behaviour here is that she’s upset he showed the “lost and found” to her in front of the cameras. She maybe thought he was trying to appear like someone who gets a lot of women and implied he wasn’t super serious about her and the experiment? It’s a reach but worth considering

[@nessapalmer5316]

That's fair. She should have said that then in order to more clearly communicate

[@AllyMack23]

@@nessapalmer5316I don't think they're allowed to acknowledge the cameras

[@ff2154]

Yes! Stacy is very image conscious and this is not a good look for Izzy and by association her. She is not a laid back go with the flow, so this triggers her loss of control

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah, that seems likely.

[@kaligriffin]

The drawer wasn't about her and she's making it about her. It's called "lost & found" meaning if someone contacts him about losing something he would like to be able to give it back. It's not his and he felt he shouldn't put it in the garbage. If we're being charitable, maybe he's just that kind.

[@rosewein]

Exactly my thoughts. I'd feel wierd throwing out someone else's things.

[@k.ambriz9789]

Yeah. I would feel that way too. He probably didn’t know what to do with them.

[@katarinasinfamy]

I like this interpretation… but even if it’s not that, I like keeping trinkets that lovers have left behind… it’s a nice memento and I think not problematic at all. (haven’t we all kept a boyfriend’s hoodie..? 😅)

[@naru2512]

GUYS IS NOT AN AIRBNB. The leasing office employee confirmed he lives there. Additionally, some neighbors have come to Reddit and denied the claims too.

[@modernwarpaint]

Stacy is reasonable to question the motive of his keepsakes; however the manner in which she ridiculed him for his lifestyle and decor choices was out of line. I just can’t get on board with the females judgements of their male partner’s apartments. Just plain rude. Like gtfo if you don’t like it that’s why it’s “MY apartment.” I would NEVER walk into anyone else’s home and pick it apart.

[@teeveeclub]

Yeah, especially when it’s clear that Izzy doesn’t care about it and would be happy to have her make all future decisions about home aesthetics, etc.

[@jaymidiaz5126]

Or it’s his Joe Goldberg drawer 😅

[@ElderMilennial]

The way Izzy presented the drawer came off as bragging to me. Like a trophy or knotch in the bed post. Perhaps that's not the case, but it's how it came across to me. Izzy deserves to be loved for who he is, but it's also ok to grow and change to a better version of you. And it's ok for your fiance to challenge you in that way.

[@DaylaS]

I had a boyfriend who would put my earrings, that I left there, hanging from the leaves of a big plant. 😂 I'm glad I never saw anyone else's earrings on there while we were dating!

[@sydneyandrae5265]

I'm confused about what the "right answer" would've been that Stacey was looking for. She told Izzy what she thought his motives were. He said no this is what my motives are. Then she couldve said "well thank youbfor elaborating because really didnt feel that way. I appreciate you trying to be honest but I didnt really want to have seen that. My feelings are hurt. Can we get rid of that stuff." He wouldve said of course. The end.

[@acisner1]

The presentation of the box of stuff seemed like he was showing off his trophy case. He is an fboy whose convidence is shaken because of status.

[@sarahmunson1778]

💯

[@gray_7]

Seriously there is obviously no good reason for him to keep that stuff

[@StorytimewithK]

I'm kind of on Stacy's side on this...cuz his "honesty" proved to be "selective" during the show, and I've had experienced similar situations where guys think is a flex to let youn know they are or were "desirable" by showing you things girls left at their house, likes on posts, girls who gave them their number and to me it always felt they wanted praise for honouring the basics like loyalty hahahaha " omg babe, thank for not cheating today" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tb89117]

You are telling a long story about a person who isn’t Izzy. Sounds like you are not giving the benefit of the doubt based on a past bad experience, with someone completely different. If Stacy doesn’t give him a charitable interpretation about something she don’t know anything about, maybe Stacy isn’t right for Izzy

[@StorytimewithK]

@@tb89117 that's true, I'm basing my read of this scene on past experiences (more than one guy). Not that deep, it's a show. But thats my read on this. "total speculation" 😂. Unfortunately is something that I see happening to friends too, it sucks even for the guys cuz the notion that you have to have lots of girls to be a "Macho" isn't cool... Maybe that's not izzys case, but yeah... Who knows? 😂

[@crayker]

Am I the only person who thinks it's strange to throw out all of your old photos? Also, I'd be more worried that so many women are in such a hurry to leave his apartment that they leave so much stuff behind. Are they all leaving things there as an excuse to come back? So many questions

[@Humanessence778]

Maybe she is afraid that the owners of the jewelry are coming back but she does not want to say she's scared. For his side, I would feel bad throwing out someone else's jewelry.

[@loveleyeyes1654]

This scene was tough for me. Stacy definitely could have been kinder and presented her objections with a "lesson" on why she feels a specific way about the items or lack thereof. If having a nice dinner with her pareneris an important ritual to her, she could easily see his lack of dishes as an insult. The lost and found box is kinda tacky for him to keep around if it wasn't intentional.

[@prettymesmerizing]

Maybe it’s because I am in a similar situation as Stacy but I don’t think her expectations are high at all. We have a house, a car, a growing career, zero debts, we travel, etc. If I can get there on my own, working two jobs I definitely expect my partner to be in very similar situation. I need to share this mindset towards success and ambition with my partner.

[@teeveeclub]

Makes sense. It’s so shocking that none of this stuff that’s clearly so important to her (money, class mobility, ambition) wasn’t discussed in the pods.

[@prettymesmerizing]

@@teeveeclub I absolutely agree with you, all this should have been addressed prior to getting engaged! It’s so strange 😅

[@WhitLin31]

I cant imagine theres any way I wouldnt be turned off by this lost and found drawer and his attitude about it. Its just weird.

[@sarahmunson1778]

Yeah, I think people are being way too charitable here. All the evidence is pointing towards him being a fboy, from his words to his tone of voice to how he laughs to his facial expressions to how he behaves towards other women, to even his mom's comments about him. I think many women who have dated in the modern world see exactly what this is, as it's surprisingly common.

[@gray_7]

@@sarahmunson1778I think so too, I was so surprised hearing this and reading the comments. I am totally with Stacy here and Izzy has so many red flags.

[@WhitLin31]

@@sarahmunson1778 very much agree! I think a lot of people aren't able to equate a nice guy with a player or at the very least a thoughtless partner, but they really can be. It's like a conquest graveyard and he thought she would find that cute. I can only imagine why his previous encounters were one night stands with the way he mugs about it. Add this to the dishonesty about finances and it's like, yeah. He's cute. He's nice. But is he someone I can respect?

[@daniellei.9821]

I think Stacy was going to say no and she was just trying to find reasons to sabotage their relationship so she wouldn’t be judged as the one who broke off with someone bc of their financial status. I can be wrong but that’s my perception.

[@gray_7]

It’s totally a trophy drawer and Izzy likes the keepsakes of his conquests, it’s weird.

[@rubiirae]

Apparently Izzy's apartment was an airbnb, yet he claimed that he's been living there for 1.5 years, whilst telling johnnie that he just signed a new lease, yet he has nothing to show except for the lost & found bin. I don't like Stacy's delivery in a lot of things and she's condescending for no good reason, but Izzy is no prize either and does indeed showed his immaturity from time to time again.

[@ChelseaSeachel]

How’d you find out about the air bnb? Did I miss that in the episode?

[@Kristin_MommyBreakdown]

Is that a rumor or confirmed?

[@mehere1482]

Confirmed by a realtor

[@ChelseaSeachel]

@@mehere1482 is there proof somewhere? A website?

[@lallana2882]

There is no proof of this at all from what I can tell. Just people saying shit on the internet.

[@103bribri]

I think Stacy feels like second choice even though she technically wasn’t. She seemed to have stayed in the mindset that she was competing with Johnnie rather than loving Izzy. She kept looking for evidence to say “I can’t take him seriously/ he doesn’t actually love me so I must reject him” Izzy seems to have a low self esteem because I did not find her loving nor accepting towards him. Her entitlement and “status” clouded both of their judgment to assess the situation accordingly. Because of society standards she’s deemed more successful. This made her input taken into account first and foremost between the two of them.

[@David-gw8lz]

Given Izzy's background as a JW, he seems very sheltered and underdeveloped when it comes to serious relationships. He acts like a young man who just moved out of his parents' house and scored a few hookups, while Stacey is (or wants to appear to be) very grown-up, responsible, and matured out of the hook-up scene.. She is upset because she views the Lost and Found items as trophies/attachments to past women. Izzy doesn't see how having these physical, tangible items could represent current preoccupations with past women. If he isn't attached to those past women anymore, he should have thrown away the Lost and Found items. Even just calling them 'Lost and Found' implies he is saving the items so those women can find their way back to Izzy.

[@freyaday6076]

I feel like Stacy just wasn’t ready to commit and used all of these little “issues” in the end as a reason to disqualify Izzy instead of just admitting to herself, and to Izzy that she was afraid to commit.

[@teeveeclub]

Yeah, it’s really ironic that she says she wants someone who just wants her for her when she clearly isn’t interested in being married to someone who is not wealthy. You’d think a wealthy person wouldn’t need their partner to have money. Which begs the question…is she? Seems like she doesn’t have a lot of money either.

[@lallana2882]

I don't even think it's about committing. She's just not that into him.

[@Coastpsych_fi99]

I would be afraid to commit to someone like Izzy when I contrast him to all the husbands on the show who have decent and stable careers from Brett, Kwame, Zac, Cameron, Barnett, Milton. It’s a huge risk to marry someone that doesn’t have a stable career, or finances unless you are both super young or early career. Izzy would likely scare many partners.

[@laurenbrown5865]

For whatever reason I found her reaction to the lost and found to be... baffling. Not worth a second glance, much less an argument. Not saying she shouldn't have felt that way, I just didn't understand the significance of it at all, or why she might have felt upset or reactive about it. Thanks for shining an interpretive light on that situation, Dr. H!

[@coconutpandanlatte]

I really believe he kept it there because he thought it was funny and he thought she would laugh about it. I believe when he says he didn't think about it. Some people really just don't put much thought in certain things, if not, most things 😅

[@adrianamartinez8092]

I grew up in a hoarder house, so I am super sensitive of how my space is percieved. I try to keep my house tidy and clean. I'm not a clean freak or overly obsessed with cleanliness but i do try to keep a tidy house. I hv a friend who i use to invited over all the time. He's a very DIY kind of guy but he's also retired and like 20 years older than me. So when he cames over and starts pressing me on different home improvement projects like " when are you re-doing ur mantel" or "when are u repainting the livingroom" or "just say the word and I'll help u paint the house" i fell like hea criticizing me. I stopped inviting him over. I am very sensitive of my home being percieves as unclean or messy...i hv a lot of trauma and shame surrounding how I grew up and being bullied by kids in my neighborhood because of our childhood home. Anyway, Stacy's attitude triggered me. That was not nice. U dont go to someone's home and criticize how they live.

[@shivvypoppy]

The Shins were my favorite band for many many years (too sentimental for me to listen too now) but my FAVORITE Shins song of all time would have to be Caring is Creepy.

[@comediansruinthebacheloret4433]

He said he has 3 dates a week. That apartment is a train station.

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

🤢

[@KaytchC1790]

Okay, seriously... I would feel the exact same way about the "lost & found" drawer. In fact, I'd probably freak out more -- it's like a trophy drawer; the way a serial killer would keep trophies of their victims... It's weird and creepy AF, not just immature and shows his insecurity. It's like he felt like he had to show her how desirable he was, like, oh, look how many women have slept with me 🤢

[@magikenzee]

3:17 when my so and i started dating i saved every single snap message especially our goodnight ones. As ive become more secure in the relationship i find myself saving less.

[@onedirectionlover317]

I appreciated the tangent on immigrant families. My parents came here better off than what he described, and I had less pressure than the most extreme, but it was still all very relatable. Also, I definitely interpreted it like Dr. Honda did, because I’m definitely an “I want to be honest and transparent” type of person. So I can relate to the charitable interpretation. I’ll admit, I probably wouldn’t want to date / be with someone who does engage in the hookup lifestyle because that wouldn’t match my values around relationships and intimacy, but if I were, then I wouldn’t mind the existence of the box as long as he threw it away now that I’m in the picture. I’d actually respect that he didn’t throw ir away out of fear if it had been there so recently, but I’d only worry if he didn’t want to get rid of it now. I’d personally feel shady if I threw it away without showing my partner that I HAD had them (especially if it was discussed / came up so soon. It’d be different if it’d been months). And I might delete photos off of social media but I wouldn’t want to be forced to get rid of them altogether personally.

[@GopherCakeStuff]

Some dude trying to make you think he's honest by showing you something off putting is typicallly hiding something even harder for you to accept.

[@Pat_notacat]

Re: not throwing out stuff It could be he doesn’t remember what belongs to whom, but because he came from a not super rich place he’s like “these things cost money and they aren’t mine to throw out” subconsciously, and is waiting for people to message with a “DUDE I’m missing my grandmother’s ring, is it at your place?” At least, that’s where my head would be.

[@Aalisrocklist]

regarding the box of lost jewelry, you missed one hypothesis: Serial Killer.

[@cookie_dough_hangover]

Man, I am so glad I am married and not dating anymore.😅😂

[@nope7560]

Your thoughts about it at 8 minutes is probably spot on. 🙌🏻

[@kaylove4507]

These two were just not a good match. I feel like Stacy should have been more serious in the pods she came across as the fun girl that take it. Easy type of girl and the experiment is intended to be serious. I'm not blaming her. I just think that she might have given too much of the cool fun girl energy and it may have opened the door for people like Izzy to slide on through. I am not a fan of Izzy. I think all the girls dodged a bullet and I only think that she ended up with him because she didn't want to take it to serious and I think this backfired for her.

[@julest5767]

I wonder if that's actually an Airbnb, then maybe those things aren't even lost and found items and that was just a quickly made up story???

[@TheTeacherMuse]

I think this analysis is a bit too much 😅 She saw the “lost and found” and she knew it was of “other women” and she felt that he was careless for leaving it there for her to see, which means she will imagine him with another woman, which means she is worried he is not done with the past and not fully committed to her NOW, which makes her afraid he will not give her emotional security and she is not “enough” for him to fully commit. He on the other hand is a dude and either didn’t think about it, or he wasn’t ready to let go of these items that do remind him of some “great times”

[@lololololauren]

THE SHINS!!!

[@jessicabick1280]

Just wondering if given his upbringing, I'm assuming he would have been raised in purity culture. Do you think keeping the peices left behind would have a attachment/sentamental value that lessens his religious trama and guilt for living a lifestyle that was so looked down on? I dunno, I've only experienced the purity culture from a feminine point of view. Im just curious.

[@BfromSF]

Sorry I think my last comment was wrong. Given the plates I think you are right Dr Honda that he just wanted her to accept him for himself. He's already detected that she's pretty judgy.

[@daisyo.6666]

Since it was an Airbnb, maybe it didn't come with plates 😅

[@LenaL146]

Wow, she is so my way or highway!!!

[@lanagustafson1700]

I don’t understand why this bothers Stacey so much. Personally I would feel weird about throwing away other peoples things. Especially jewelry which can be expensive

[@spiritofcoco]

Maybe Izzy just did not want to through away someones valuable objects. For him to have respect for someones jewelry could be positive, as he is not wealthy and therefore worships someone elses possessions.

[@143Shayx]

Stacey has a similar voice to Zainab from season 3. Their talking style etc

[@freaksparade7451]

The Shins! 🖤

[@KS-hi8vi]

Why not go off what you see not make up scenarios. Who has a lost and found draw?? If someone left something at your house call them the next day. Return it or get rid of it. Don’t start a draw like you are keeping TROPHIES.

[@annie_charcheologist]

About 10 years ago I briefly dated a guy and loaned him some records LP that were not easy to get - The Legendary Stardust Cowboy and the Love Kills soundtrack - I do wonder if it’s worth getting in touch to see if maybe he’s hung onto them because I would love them back - I bought them when I was 16. Thoughts anyone?

[@jeremysmith9694]

Maybe Izzy isn't Izzy is he?

[@DrammensterapeuteneAS]

Here we go😅👀

[@kicikicikicikici]

😅😅😊😊

[@Sunnyday069]

Love the Shins ❤

[@Carmendot2]

26:11 I think they insane she Mormon, normal in those types of situations I would usually also exaggerate what I see in the behaviour as a way to lighten the mood so like that’s crazy of you to just me and like oh that’s something that I don’t see is typical not, but the person is legitimately crazy

[@Twirlingbarbie]

I really don't think it's that deep😭

[@monchiquita25]

I was wondering if I was only one thinking that.

[@rosewein]

Same she mentioned earrings, he mentioned earrings. He clearly just felt weird throwing out other people's things or at least I would.

[@katherinefiorentino7799]

It’s giving… serial killer lol

[@Sough]

Transgeneratipnal trauma 😂😂 sorry but this is only Stacy's rich person PR campaign. Hey my life is hard I work for every inch that I got, like once fifty years ago my grandpa had a minor financial problem

[@joannawrzelikowska3273]

2:30 wait for it 😏

[@Freee479]

It’s been revealed that the place Izzy presented as his apartment was actually an Air b and b

[@naru2512]

What credible source has revealed it? His neighbors posted on reddit that it was his apartment.

[@MarianneElizabeth00]

Why does Stacy constantly talk like she’s mad? Even if she’s happy she sounds annoyed

[@lankanainen]

I can’t stand most of the female voices on this show 🙉

[@mehere1482]

I do also want to include that it was confirmed that is he was staying in an Airbnb during filming… So that wasn’t actually his house which calls into question the whole Lost and Found situation

[@lallana2882]

Where is this "confirmed"?

[@daisyo.6666]

He is clearly a twat if he just moved to an airbnb and made sure he took the box and showed it to her.

[@lanagustafson1700]

Given Izzy’s background I wouldn’t be surprised if he started dating a little later than other people and felt a certain pride when he found out that he had game. So these are mementos but not in a creepy way

[@h.sowandegray2913]

My take on him not cleaning up his hookup draw. These guys are both extremely immature. We know this because every single scene prior we always saw them talking about sex and rods and poop over and over and over. Izzy simply thought that it was going to be a joke, or any other thing that they could laugh at.

[@trafficcontrol2420]

Everyone making excuses for Izzy 🤢

[@drifamagnusdottir2170]

its just toxic.behaviour. No matter. Í believe It’s his past, He is neither a priest, nor a virgin. She knows that. yet she is shaming him for having had sex with other women. As it has something to with their relationship today. In additipn to that It might be valuable for the owner 🤷‍♀️ It’s not his own. Don’t like how she speaks to him or others

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yeah, the shaming is upsetting.

[@nessapalmer5316]

I think if you are triggered by things your partner has from previous relationships you may not be ready for a relationship

[@kicikicikicikici]

Lets go:)

[@YoYoWaddupBro]

I don't think Izzy sleeps with girls in a d-bag way, but I think he likes to think of himself as a d-bag player because it satisfies his "male ego". Toxic masculinity at its core.

[@YoYoWaddupBro]

Like he told Stacy about it like he was talking about it with the bros

[@daisyo.6666]

The charitable perspective is a bit too charitable knowing that he was supposedly ready to get married to her and just a week later kisses another cast member. Wth

[@gray_7]

All these videos have been so charitable to him

[@andedom]

So the fact that he kissed another girl while he was single means he’s a player? I guess we are all players then! Unless you’re a part of LDS or some other conservative religious sect and you don’t kiss a girl until you’re married 😂.

[@arozeisarozie]

Idk about this argument. People cope in different ways.

[@thevillagejoke]

90 DAY FIANCÉ???? What about Ed???

[@Revolver55334]

Dr Honda, I want to say that I genuinely love your content. I’m an avid watcher of all your videos. That said, I want to express some concern about your bias against the right wing. I feel offended when we are categorized as a whole as racist, sexist, white supremecist, full of hate, arrogant etc. I myself am not racist or sexist. I condemn all of those on the right who are. I love all people equally. As a right winger, I simply believe in the principle of limited government and value freedom. I am a big supporter of the constitution and bill of rights. I ask that you please not pidgeonhole us as a group based on what is said by certain (biased) media outlets. Thank you for understanding.

[@daisyo.6666]

As the right wing stands in the US it is mostly racist and misogynistic, aimed at limiting the decision making of individuals who are not white males.

[@sarahsmith3682]

This is something you should take up with your own political party, not Dr. Honda. Don't fault him for having the opinions that he has when the most prominent and vocal members of your party are racist, sexist, white supremecist, full of hate, arrogant etc.

[@gray_7]

😂😂 Please with the poor oppressed conservative schtick. Right wingers are pro forced birth, you absolutely are sexist and support the structures of racism, xenophobia, misogyny and extremism. You have no right to get offended when people properly categorize right wingers as the extremists they are. ✌️

[@WhitLin31]

The right does not stand for just limited government anymore. See January 6th.