Psychopathy and Sexual Fantasy

[@GS-st9ns]

This is very insightful. I realize now why my husband behave the way he did during the twenty-five years I was married to him. He could not get that sexual satisfaction any more than he could get the emotional satisfaction so he went from one to the next to the next to the next and it was miserable. I wouldn't want to be in his head for any reason.

[@staceykersting705]

The Milky Way is only one galaxy.

[@KoolT]

Not your fault, their sick minds.

[@taraarrington2285]

He could have also been secretly gay and you could have been his beard 🤷

[@GreenCanvasInteriorscape]

I was only vaguely familiar with that term and your meaning does not come up easily upon searching A beard relationship is a romantic or platonic relationship where one person is used to conceal the sexual orientation or infidelity of another person. The term can be used in any type of relationship, but it's most commonly used in LGBTQ+ culture. People may enter into beard relationships knowingly or unknowingly. It really should be used more as it describes a whole lot of people doing a lot of things

[@saber8560]

almost like a hungry ghost...

[@aroojaziz]

My psychopath ex said that I was his world, but after sometime I realised that he was creating a solar system & I was 4th planet in it. ✌🏼😂

[@smackdashitoutchu7755]

Quick talking $h!+ about your ex. Grow up ffs. Have some class.

[@andresandres1666]

So he lied, you were mars not earth, learn your planetary order girl.

[@yakno3493]

Is he a psychopath because he left you? If so, are you a narcissist who's tryin to create a twisted image of your ex because he left you? If not then what a twat he was..lol

[@aroojaziz]

@@andresandres1666 lol… sorry my mistake 😝

[@tstjstlikecandy]

😂

[@mountainmermaid8]

Your channel is the most helpful mental health channel I have found. Thank you again.

[@martinkarp9298]

I agree

[@cindyrhodes]

This is a difficult topic, but Dr. Grande delivers the information with dignity as always!

[@bradlycarpenter1960]

As someone who raised to believe there was no such thing as mental illness this is so eye opening

[@LeonCouch]

I was raised this way too. I was basically told to be "logical" about every goal, decision, discussion, and action. Yet, I have observed real mental illnesses and evil, as well as experienced anguish myself. Yet, it still hard to convince parents who value "scientific thinking" about the existence of mental illness and investigators to describe the workings of the human mind and brain. That is, they don't really believe in psychology and psychiatry, basically by how they constructed their social circles and professions. I had more curiosity about the unbelievable variety in this world.

[@loveandletlove8529]

Sounds like you grew around a bunch of narcs ,it tends to be an idea of theirs that everyone is like them but somehow inferior cause they don’t do the same decisions.

[@lauraantic1384]

As a kid nobody never spoke about that too ,they were very perfect and lovely family

[@shannane5171]

Mental illness is very real.

[@nugget6635]

Tell your parents to look at a Schizophrenic person for at least 300 hours to see what they think about their """"science"""".

[@StarFyodperor]

No one is sweeter than a psychopath that is grooming you...

[@mzgg9826]

Creepy.

[@rebeccawrite1614]

I still think they show red flags even when being sweet.

[@AIwaysRight]

Yeah...and to be honest, once you've experienced it, you don't want anything but that

[@cheridehart7771]

Sarcasm

[@jessestewart169]

Scary but true.

[@genevab.5316]

You just answered my final question. My ex-Psychopath (clearly full on Factor 1) was so violent and forceful after a while. I was forced into things I can’t write. My confusion was that you’d only ever mentioned the sexual nature of this (in your videos that I’ve watched so far anyway) as a Factor 2 level issue. So I was confused there... but you described him to a T once again. He’s one of the bad ones. I am afraid every day of what he will do or have someone else do. Psychopaths never go away (especially when you have a child with them).

[@smackdashitoutchu7755]

Quit talking sh!+ about your ex. Grow up ffs, have some class.

[@lisap3344]

@@smackdashitoutchu7755 she’s here for help

[@cyropower7808]

Are you out of a relationship with them?

[@genevab.5316]

@@cyropower7808 I am. We're safe. He still lives close and still won't go away, but I'm getting help to make sure we'll be safe from him for a long time. Thanks. I hope you are safe, too.

[@vs4571]

Can you recommend some more of his videos to watch on this subject? I’m sure I could just search but I know there’s 1 or 2 that you’d want others to watch. I’m trying to learn about psychopathy, antisocial and sociopathy and of course narcissism. Are there different types and levels to all and where do they all tie in and what’s the core term? I know antisocial replaced the term psychopaths (at least that’s what I heard)?

[@MR-tx7ig]

Dr Grande your content is pure gold

[@morguetie1899]

I LOVE YOU DOC GRANDE

[@cartergomez5390]

Thank you for saying his name, I didn't even know it!

[@ralfphilipp]

clear case of Love Bombing. Are you narcissistic ?

[@suzanned5859]

I was married to a man with type one psychopathic tendencies that I didn't recognize at the time. I just thought he was very strong and in control of his emotions. He was eventually unfaithful and got into recovery for sex addiction. He became a very prominent and respected member of the program and was a pretty decent husband for 17 years but once that recovery fell apart he got into the poly amorous S&M movement and we went our separate ways. That was over 10 years ago. We have 3 kids and he does give us some financial support and sees the kids a couple times a month. Our children are now almost grown up. The kids and I ask for his help whenever we may need it and are sure to be very grateful when he gives it but we don't expect it ever. I have been very careful over the years and never allowed the kids to be alone with him. Ironically they all know exactly who he is and what he is capable of without me explaining it to them. It sometimes makes me so sad that my kids didn't have a loving caring dad. My girls are not particularly interested in a relationship with a man which also makes me sad but they may still find someone who changes that. I can only hope.

[@tovenrvik6336]

Madsen who killed the Journalist in the Submarin, was also into the BDSM community ‼️

[@MsRuneGirl]

Your girls aren’t interested in a relationship with a man but you hope someone will change that? What does that mean?

[@Indusxstan]

Bless you. You protected your kids from him successfully

[@sneak9407]

How did kids find put by themselves that the dad was a "$ex addict" sounds very improbably for 6 year old children to know what sex was, or even know he commited such. Sounds like it was explained to them.

[@suzanned5859]

@@sneak9407 They didn't at first but they eventually saw stuff. He let one of them play with his ipad and she saw some kind of meet up app. At first he tried to have them meet people he was involved with and there were a lot and some of them were kind of sketch. My oldest also remembered the days when he was in recovery and used to go to meetings and stuff. They figured it out. All my kids are over 18 now and he barely talks to them. They mostly think he doesn't care much about them which is sad. The kids and I are pretty tight but I still wish they had two caring parents.

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

I once read in an article that the psychopath might engage in the abusive sexual behaviour as revenge. The partner made them somehow jealous. So they punish them

[@aurav1376]

But do psychopaths feel jealousy?

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

@@aurav1376 l cannot seem to find the article. Forgot where I read it. Maybe it's part of the mind games Or because they view people as possessions

[@joanlynch5271]

That sounds plausible.

[@joanlynch5271]

@@aurav1376 I think that is like the chicken and the egg argument. The psychopath wouldn't say I felt jealous so I acted out. They would say I acted that way because I was angry, or I didn't care about the consequences at the time. Remember that psychopaths wear a mask of sanity, they are acting normal, seeing all their behavior as normal.

[@taraarrington2285]

Yes I guess. Idk Would leave me alone. I guess they figure I'm an easy target and they're predator cluster B's 🤷

[@michelleking7938]

You just described my husband. Why did it take me 25 years to put a name to the abuse I’ve endured? I have brain tumors and he recently punched me in the side of the head. He had zero remorse and really tried to blame me. I’ll never get away without being financially wiped out and destroyed by his fantasy things he tries to say about me. He tells me he’s going to make sure I’m homeless and I have two houses. One I owned before I was with him. I’m now fighting the battle of my life making me weaker. He’s like an opportunistic blood sucker trying to prey on me while I’m down. He tells people I’m a gold digger. When he moved from his moms to my house and lived there over 25 years. He bought me a house while we were separated for taking over my house pushing me out.he’s trying to take that now. He has a girlfriend he lies about.

[@monalischen1746]

Are you still together with him?

[@beingpallavi3272]

Do psychopaths hit?

[@reneeevans8864]

Im so sorry im also so damaged god bless you

[@GreenCanvasInteriorscape]

YES Why would you question that?

[@swindler1570]

I can't recall, have you done a video yet on "successful" psychopathy? If not, I'd love to see that at some point.

[@DrGrande]

This video touches on that construct: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hYC8eqhvaahseZo

[@swindler1570]

@@DrGrande Thank you! Really enjoy your content here. It's nice to see someone actually taking the science seriously, rather than trying to go for a sensationalistic approach.

[@karagraham9764]

Its probably the ones who aren’t in prison

[@commissaryarrick9670]

Just look at high level bankers , lawyers, record company execs , Hollywood producers , actors and politicians . I would bet most of them are successful psychopaths

[@e.thomas2475]

@@commissaryarrick9670 Reaserch doesn’t back that up. Psychopaths can only typically end up in positions of power for long periods of time if they have say: a family member who put them their and keeps them their. Psychopath are just too impulsive and erratic to maintain anything for long periods of time It would make more sense that Machiavellians and Narcissistic individuals end up in positions of power and stay there.

[@n.c.6211]

Thank you Doctor Grande! I'm doing a psychopathy marathon! 😂It is probably in line with not being able to connect to the other person. It seems like there is another level, but it is only during the idealisation phase. It is a vicious cycle.

[@louisecooper1532]

I am now experincing isolation, which is devatiting to me. Phyopath are cunning and not remorsful. They just do not care about their victums.

[@MrPokerblot]

You are a psychopath

[@LeonCouch]

I appreciate these videos, not merely for their dispassionate (in a complimentary way) summary and basis in theory and practice; but, because it elicits great comments from people who either suffered from others with these issues or they themselves get a chance to offer personal testimonies on how they think, feel, and/or act when they have these traits. Rather than suppressing these people, I think it's better they talk with others. First, those suffering from these traits/disorders can get a better sense of how the rest of society views the traits and how they are affected by them (when expressed), and thus how to change behaviors for their and the greater good. Secondly, the rest of society can come to empathize with their issues, rather than merely demonizing them, and ideally come to solutions that work for as many individuals in societies as possible with the least damage. // What I'd like to see is the recognition, acceptance, and even appreciation of the huge variety in human personality, behavior, etc., moderating the ill effects of deviance rather than enforcing conformity. (I value core American and Western values, as opposed to authoritarian rule of every behavior and thought that we see becoming possible in China with modern technology, with the great loss of creativity and true ideological, social, and technological progress.) At this time in human history in our Western society, perhaps some of these traits are not useful or merely useful in certain professions. For instance, I suspect that psychopaths -- when put into balance by others or laws or such -- might be better surgeons, CEOs, etc. Put in the most hopeful light, perhaps there's a place for nearly everyone somewhere in our society at some point in time, if we could just figure out how to find the appropriate people for the appropriate places. Maybe this is too optimistic, but I'd rather live with hope and to work for a better future, than give up in defeat before trying sincerely.

[@hn6187]

thanks for sharing the science / evidence. relating to Bowlby's Attachment theory, I think the key is how you mentioned 'insight' as in, maybe all of us have deviant fantasies at some stage, but they instantly alarm healthy people, where health here is defines as having a rich internal narrative, sufficient to parse the malevolence and steer it towards loving. i've watched a few presentations about pyschopathy / narcissism and the word that stands is the feeling of 'emptiness'. from the world of literature, art, what makes for a soulful generative narrative. also there's the idea of 'extrinsic drift, that if psychopaths are made, then the culture of constant distraction, oversimplication, the double-speak of positive-thinking, shallowness, general brutishness of rule by oligarch / hypermasculine might is right etc. ... could be a factor - psychopathy visualised as nepalming the forest of mind, fascist blitzkriek of society.

[@hyperbolicterms]

It’s like shining a bright light on cotton fabric, exposing the chest. Thank you for the information Dr. Grande.

[@sedtar]

Thank you Dr. Grande very helpful video! Your time, knowledge and effort doing these videos and answering our questions is greatly appreciated. Kind regards from Sweden!

[@DrGrande]

You are most welcome!

[@CodyWright-pq3eq]

King of Sweden? That sucks.

[@meekking3999]

I think the person I once entertained falls under this umbrella. I didn’t know a lot about psychopathy at the time but the more I learn about it, the More I think so. I abandoned that situation bc things were getting worst and worst and I think what kind of wieirdness was going on when I wasn’t watching.I just know I began to think he hates women bc of ways he was starting to treat me. I pray he never shows up in my reality anymore.

[@carlineboyd274]

I'm seeing someone who has been upfront honest with me about his sadism he has a really caring side and he says he wants me to know he's a really nice person - we talk and message about sexual fantasies and they overlap although not completely I believe he is and wants more extreme things - we have not yet been intimate and I think your message here is clear that I'm more craving the submission with intimacy and there is a risk he's faking it because his sadistic fantasies are only what he seeks to carry out - keeping my eyes open and moving forward slowly with this one 💯

[@GreenCanvasInteriorscape]

as someone who is aware of life on the edge and alternative communities, he's telling you who he is. Those who don't dwell on the fringes of those communities don't tell you who they are. Too bad bad folks dwell within both of those communities. Discernment and time and even observant folks get burned and mystified, enjoy your solitude until then

[@GreenCanvasInteriorscape]

Curious how things turned out?

[@stellar52]

I've been with a Don Juan Peter Pan Psychopath. He had dysfunktional erectile issues and I think it has to do with his inability to be in a real relationship. One time he had four affairs at the same time and smiled me in my face when he told me about how good it was. Any time we were out together, he flirted and even changed seats to have a better view on women. He visited all his female friends all the time, etc. His father was exactly the same, the second husband of his mother as well, and she liked it. She excused her son's behaviour and she didn't leave the husband for cheating, but for his lifelong infantikity. I found both behaviours in her son horrible. Btw- he was almost pervertely admired my adult women and aquaintances right from puberty, because he was so good looking. He used this pattern to be treated nicely, because the truth is- he is f....afraid of everything.

[@im19ice3]

well expressed. they way i'd put it is the usual barriers between a person's mind and their actions are sometimes missing in an individual with psychopathic traits, like impulse control maybe, or that lack of empathy which is considerate of whoever is on the recieving end of the behaviour, and i guess the antisocial disregard for social norms, which i think is what drives up the consumption of porn since there's no socialised shame to buffer urges. Seems like in a relationship setting what is most important is managing expectations, hoping for changes that were never verbally manifested as goals is a recipe for disappointment and when dealing with a narcissist i might even call it a waste of time, the benefit of empathy is knowing whether what one gives to somebody is likely to be recieved as a gift or as a debt and with narcissists its usually the latter, they think they not only deserve all that they want but that it is owed to them. my only remaining question is whether there's any trend in emotional disregulation with psychopathy, since some comorbid conditions are flat affect-inducing while others go in the extreme opposite 🤔

[@LeonCouch]

My impression of the psychopaths I've observed and tried to understand informally as an academic in a non-psychology field is that intelligence, personal restraint/control, etc., are different factors (perhaps correlated). The dumber the psychopath, the more likely they were to think they could get away with bad behavior and thus do it. The smarter the psychopath, the more they could manipulate under the radar and people would only realize aftewards the damage they had done. // one thing we forget is to consider psychopathy as a continuum rather than a binary (psychopath or not). And, I'm thinking of the most extreme cases I've seen -- and, in a way, the least successful psychopaths (kind of dumb men, really) // My feeling is that we should identify these traits early on and train individuals explicitly in societal norms and laws, whether or not they feel bound to them, as they can often obey these if it's in their best interest. Our laws are based on what people *do*, rather than how they think. Secondly, I think we should train them to be more empathetic and at least to read other people's emotions and the results of their positive and bad behaviors. For nearly everyone, it's possible to grow one's empathy, if one's interest is sparked and there's sincere motivation & dedication. Lastly, I think we should more explicitly teach psychology -- not in a theoretical way, but in a very practical way -- to all children. Working with people, identifying traits, knowing oneself, and how oneself and others fit in this world, all would help children be successful in friendships, romantic relationships, and their professions. People who are good with people go further than solitary people who simply work hard .

[@ivanrobles1695]

Wow you described like 100% of my sexual mind. Even the kinks matched up perfectly! I think the behavior and traits happen at the same time and the fantasy occurs after and you fantasize more because it’s not something you can’t do.

[@nobody8328]

I fantasized about that sort of sexual behavior long before I ever saw porn or had sex with another person. For me, the traits and the fantasies started before everything else.

[@portiaclark4748]

Thank you Dr. Grande for this insightful video.

[@lovelyella]

I disagree about the archaic ideas of general fantasies... there are several studies reporting that women also think of multiple partners.

[@Chefgrlangel]

🙋🏻‍♀️

[@reeyees50]

At the end of the day, they also want to pass their traits as much as possible through all means

[@beingpallavi3272]

Psychopathy is not gender biased bro! Chill!

[@udukhai]

i had implications of my mental illness my entire life and no one said anything. i only got diagnosed with depression at age 27, even though i know i suffer from PTSD, ADHD, which lead to my Anxiety and Depression. It has been projected on me my entire life to just be apart of society, work an honest job, make a living, be responsible. yet i could never simply do these things. they never lasted. I am so self destructive, sitting here day in day out having pity parties, because i gave everyone all of me at all times. whether it was dark or light, it was all me. I am now a felon with mental illness. i would really like to be exiled from my country, leaving everything I've ruined behind, and be left to be a lonesome monk in nature.

[@udukhai]

i do not think i will ever love people. The self awareness has led me to recognize my own abomination i can not depart from. Fibonacci. I am doomed by all means of physics and chemistry,

[@LoveOneAnotherHeSaid]

Overall, these are people who want to not give, but take, and take only what they want in that form. This is knowledge to have before looking for a connection, whatever aim you have. They do not like risk, which is opposite to what I had thought.

[@meghancass3187]

The most interesting thing about a psychopath is the closer you get to them the more there is nothing there. There is really nothing there. It's a breathtaking shallowness. Which makes the high esteem they hold themselves in, and the contempt they hold everyone else in so much more baffling. How did they come to hold themselves in such high esteem without possessing any qualities that would justify such ideas? In fact possessing only qualities that should logically cause self contempt. They look human and put on an act designed to seem human but they are really more like an AI representation of a human. With no actual understanding of what it is to be human.

[@HollyMaysHarshAwakening2024]

My husband cheated on me with his sons wife. His son and wife committed suicide and im still in recovery. Please any advice would be used, I'm in Trama councling but I would love to have more help. This video and comments has helped but maybe my story is relatable to someone else's I'm extremely embarrassed about this

[@marlanaferro1558]

❤❤❤

[@I14Realok]

😢❤

[@198tave]

I am so so sorry I hope you know you deserve happiness. That is tragic it really is I’m so sorry

[@GreenCanvasInteriorscape]

That's a heavy trauma, may your recovery continue. My empathy is with you

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

My wife and I decided to try S&M. You have to have a safe word. You know what a safe word is, right? Mine was "Boring."

[@npcnpc3047]

Mine is - keep going 😂

[@timg6176]

S&M is not S&M with the use of safe words..

[@Renaissance-Hell]

How about a video on psychopathy and plagiarism? Let's give Norm MacDonald his due credit for this joke, Mr. Frank Stallone.

[@Mysikrysa]

:D

[@musictravellife392]

50 shades of grey

[@cdjtft]

It's not just men that do this

[@annchurchill2638]

Just 95% of the time.

[@cdjtft]

​@@annchurchill2638if the picture is of you, then 95% is true of your generation for the balance of cheats ( male vs. Female ) the age of social media has made this worse [ the grass is always greener ] Envy is a horrible thing

[@tettazwo9865]

Sources, ​@@annchurchill2638?

[@sneak9407]

​@@annchurchill2638 were you good at maths back in your days? Please do a little Google search and correct that number from 95%.

[@rich00273119]

Thanks Doc. One of the most helpful uploads for me to date.

[@chrisdavies73]

Interesting, thanks. Is voyeurism, such as stalking or deception, associated with this condition? For example, if an individual placed devices such as cameras etc. in somebody's property without their knowledge?

[@sarahalderman3126]

Amongst other things…

[@LizEarthAngel3]

Yes the coldness that’s the biggest one, even though he was my husband, it was a transaction most times no emotional connection just sex and forced etc or triangulated and the open addiction and cheating and abuse

[@harleye2323]

It's almost as if he knows what my questions are and my thoughts.

[@freyashipley6556]

Is it known whether introversion and extroversion are equally common among psychopaths?

[@smackdashitoutchu7755]

Psychopaths are far more likely to be extroverts.

[@ruelvandijk6854]

@@smackdashitoutchu7755 yeah they’re very likable among people but deep inside they hate people or even interacting with them, they only use extroversion to get something from people

[@AnayaRapRock]

Depending on why type of psychopath the person is. I'm diagnosed as a charismatic psychopath. I often attract and hunt for extrovert empaths.

[@AnayaRapRock]

I would play the introvert card in this case for opposites attract and I'll use that to my advantage.

[@smackdashitoutchu7755]

@@AnayaRapRock Lmao Your message had so much edge it cut my thumb as I touched my smartphone screen.

[@CharlotteWinslow]

Incredible educational video - thank-you Doctor.

[@stefannikola]

Pornography can be beneficial and therapeutic. A young man or woman who is wheelchair bound but otherwise physically, intellectually, and emotionally healthy probably won’t find a sex partner easily, so the use of pornography can be a way to explore and enjoy sex and sexuality. A man or a woman with an STD like HIV may not want to engage in sex anymore due to safety concerns and instead choose to explore and enjoy sex and sexuality through pornography. Pornography doesn’t always indicate narcissism or psychopathy. Digital technology and the easy access to pornography that it allows has fundamentally changed the societal norms of sex and sexuality. Psychology needs to catch up; it’s behind the times.

[@jessaroo3291]

Thanks for the interesting videos!!! This video made me think of the Peter Madsen case from a couple years ago. I'm pretty sure he is a Psychopathic narcissist, but the thing I was wandering was why was he so violent toward the object of his sexual desire? I know he was abused as a child, but i'm not sure to what extent. The brutality that he showed toward his victim, along with his complete lack of sympathy for her boggles the mind. Maybe you could do a video on where this guys brutal, sexual behavior comes from. By the way this is one of the most disturbing cases I've ever heard of. It shows the extremes of human behavior. Thanks again.

[@taraarrington2285]

I think that's what I'm dealing with like one of those guys that I didn't give my number to one time and so he decided to be a psychopath or something 🤔

[@fredashepherd5013]

​

[@pocoeagle2]

Fascinating video 👍 Thanks Dr. Grande 😃

[@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091]

I haven't watched this video yet but I'm pretty sure it boils down to the priesthood requiring sexual abstinence combined with the previous hard-indoctrination against homosexuality. Its a recipe that attracted gay men and lesbian women who took society's shame out on the kids. I doubt it will occur nearly as often now that the social stigma is lo longer, plus I highly doubt priests and nuns actually maintain that vow when they can sneak out( in regular clothes) to a stranger using Tinder or Grinder. The actual true exclusive-pedophiles will still be attracted to places where kids end up under their control, especially moral influence which gives them a chance at internal and projected justification - to call it love that God always endorses. Finally another point that just struck me is undying regard and unlimited respect for religion to the extent of devoting one's life to it requires maintaining a sense of wonder.. or emotional immaturity... that aligns itself with the mental traits of pure-pedophiles...but that's just throwing something out there don't hold me to it I might disagree with myself in five minutes.

[@DrGrande]

You are most welcome!

[@alohacountry4556]

Dark triade! Yep u described him perfectly every point!

[@derstoffausdemderjoghurtis]

Doctor Grande es un doctor grande!

[@KoolT]

5:12 these are restless unhappy people I promise, run.

[@qiuwbr091]

Do you think that people who act out organized (sex clubs) Sadism and Bondage have been numbed to generalized sexual behavior? I was thinking that it might be a way to stop themselves from taking that next anti social violent step. My fantasy of any type would be like imagining him pay the electric bill.

[@taramay8174]

I believe that if you continue watching anything that's quite violent in nature youre mind becomes desensitised to it. That's facts. They don't get the dopamine hit from regular porn, so they go onto harder stuff and end up acting out their fantasies

[@antoniosciara7322]

The problem with the DSM is that it has all these classifications, but the cause and treatement is largely the same. It still comes down to early attachment trauma, abuse, and dysfunctional families. How it manifests itself of course has to do with genes and other factors, but it doesn't matter the disorder...the root is the same. The DSM spends too much time and thought on differentiating SYMPTOMS of the same neuroticism. Regardless of your genetic predisposition, if you are raised in a mostly loving home, with a high level of acceptance of feelings (including anger, rage, sexual feelings, etc) with no physical abuse (including spanking) and minimal verbal abuse...you are not going to end up with extreme mental illness. You HAVE to have environmental input.

[@Jimmy-fy3oi]

As a psychopath porn is to relief pressure from within. The pressure builds up and that’s anoying, because the loss of controle over youre feelings. Porn or sex helps maintain controling feelings.

[@gamleskalle1]

Say that to Ted Bundy

[@slconley]

Try running instead?

[@fooled_twice4668]

@@slconley or cleaning your house

[@srmillard]

Is there anything pathological when there are 2 honest (non-deceptive), consenting adults, regardless of the number of partners?

[@csmelen]

If two psychopaths were having a normal conversation, would each be able to identify the other as as a fellow psychopath since both are masters of deception?

[@belalnoor9686]

Yes, because there's no one out there that they find relatable but they will know when they find one.

[@Mysikrysa]

It´s a good idea for a movie: two insane psychopathic killers who try to kill each other and at the same time to camouflage their intentions from each other.

[@Rawyalty220]

@@Mysikrysa I would watch that movie❗️

[@jamiemackie3994]

Beware of a strange love for cats. Sure sign. -fellow psychopath.

[@osmankovacevic6135]

@@Mysikrysa dexter? Not sure which season

[@TheFriendlyPsychopath]

I use to hop from female to female because I get bored with them easily, but then I found a recurring type. With this type I don’t fantasize I do everything I want to do, I’m a magnet for narcissistic females and borderline personality disorder females. Those two type of females I do whatever I want with them. The narcissistic females there’s a timeline with them and the borderline personality disorder females the timeline is a lot longer with them and they can handle more of anything I want to do to them. What I mean by a timeline is the narcissistic females I do mostly what I want in the beginning up until she finds that new friend that she pretends to idolize obsessively. That’s the stage where I ghost them on everything. The borderline personality disorder females you have to deal with all their cycle of paranoia, questioning, rage,physical fighting, then the crying and begging you not to leave. When they start being sneaky trying to be with other men or women behind your back that’s when I know the gig is up and I ghost them. When either of the two types find me and want me to take them back I tell them: “In order for me to take you back you have to give me $800”, when they ask why? I tell them: “This way i know that you're fully committed". I know im going to get rid of them again in 2 weeks anyways but this way i got one last thing out of them.

[@strongdan1]

Thanks amigo Todd. The big

[@debraanchante3661]

Is there such a thing as an asexual psychopath? My husband is at least a malignant narcissist, but I suspect he may be a psychopath.. he is very asexual and never interested in sex. But I believe he uses the lack of sex and intimacy in our marriage to torture me. I believe he enjoys the pain it causes me. Do you know anything about this? I also suspect he may be a closet homosexual. He would never admit to that because of his strong religious belief that it is a sin. If you know the answer to these questions please make a video.. thank you so much for your help

[@susannec659]

Sam Vaknin talks about this in a number of his videos.

[@juneingram669]

My husband is exactly the same

[@gamleskalle1]

There is a thing called divorce

[@changinitupmcgee2397]

My husband was a narcissist covert, Malignant, all of it. Pretended to love me and we never had sex. He left for for his mistress. They have sex, it’s just not with their wives

[@kariann3198]

This is exactly how psychopaths abuse, they withhold affection and sex

[@miminewmoon8187]

What is behind the mild choking thing? Both sides: choker and chockee?

[@Raring93]

For a lot of people it's probably a domination/submission thing. And for the chockee there's things happening in the brain during oxygen deprivation that can lead to pleasure.

[@Coelacanthimorpha]

Being choked / oxygen deprivation intensifies the orgasm a lot, you don´t even need a kink for it to work ^^. On the other hand, yes it´s a very powerful symbol of power. You´re practically holding someones life in your hands

[@dollyrama1132]

It intensifies orgasms.

[@Mysikrysa]

Dark side Force users. :)

[@gothicgirlfriend7375]

I don't know but I love being choked. I love being slapped and dominated in general. And I end up falling madly in love with my dom. Surprisingly I've never had a dom cheat but they are mean in other ways and sometimes flat out abusive. Ive never found a man that's into that that isn't a narcissist. I've learned to accept it because I can't live without good play time.

[@Sunset553]

I never understand how psychopathy isn’t a mental disorder. I understood that it’s because the lower range of exhibiting a feature of psychopathy would be normal behavior. Also something something about a separation from Anti Social Personality Disorder. It seems like there is a lot to determining what is or isn’t a mental disorder when it seems like a disordered person. Is there a recommended book on this topic? Will I forever believe psychopathy is a mental disorder?

[@definitiveentertainment1658]

I’m curious what your opinion is on Robert Hare’s PCL-R as you seemed to suggest there’s no ‘test’ you find satisfactory for labeling someone a psychopath. I’m a student and I was discussing this with a practitioner just yesterday. Anyway thank you very much for all the information you put out. There is value in your channel for students, practitioners, armchair psychologists, anyone curious about psychology! Ps: I would love to see you do a video about mental health portrayal in popular media. That would probably perform well also!

[@getemgotem1173]

Oh yes I'd love to hear this opinion too!!!

[@Theinsomniac826]

This video made a lot of sense. Thanks!

[@MatimoreAgain]

Can you PLEASE do a post on the ProDrome phase of schizophrenia, specifically in children?

[@alfredoibarra4592]

Thank you very much for your videos. I find them very helpful. Especially for people who do not hava the means to seek prosessional help. Thanks again.

[@littledoface]

Thank you Dr. Grande.

[@jerrymarshall2095]

Dr.Grande,i have a question or topic for discussion. I watch you tube videos on wildlife,sharks, lions,all types,anyway it's scary to me to read all comments about how the evil humans are the enemy to the survival of just about everything, including the planet itself. It seems to me that the loathing of humans is a nasty state of mind,suicidal,homicidal,genocidal. Maybe im over thinking thing,but it I think it could devalue humans and pave the way for bad behavior. I like the creatures of the earth and believe they should be looked after and treated with care,but some of the comments i read are distubing to me. Just a thought,thanks

[@Geshtafshnifka]

knowing this is scary.😥

[@celesteisneat]

This one scares me too

[@KoolT]

This doc is fabulous

[@rslack7]

I usually feel whatever the person I'm with feels

[@rslack7]

Even when it's bad

[@claudeducharme2490]

What about the sexual life of a convert narcissist?

[@gothic-rosenovorossiya5740]

I have solution here. Love and compassion are hardly possible to psychopaths but trust, loyalty and care are possible and it can feel the same so instead of asking psychopath for something they can't physically give, maybe it would make sense to ask for something they can 'on demand'? Mental connection is still a connection and it could be even more stable. The problem would be trying to rid of a psychopath AFTER such committment. I think psychopaths understands ''till death do us part' very much literally... And act accordingly?

[@mrvalvet9856]

1 view and 4 likes! Thanks for the vids, Dr. Todd!

[@CeciliaHovrin]

You,r very right about the fantasies, there dark, disturbing and a real horror show. But everyone don’t act on them, i don’t act out my fantasys even if it’s hard. Freedom is more important to me then my fantasys. /cecilia with psykopati

[@premier69]

oooh! where did you get that tie?

[@davidsweeney111]

Please could you recommend a good introductory text book that approaches mental health in the excellent scientific/critical way you present this fascinating subject area.

[@chuckyray1273]

can personality disorders be more common in ppl who've been born with brain trama and developmental trama like being born premature and with a brian bleed.

[@precogunitking]

Dr. Grande, is it possible for a patient with Paranoid PD to be confused for a psychopath? Thanks for all the videos ❤

[@precogunitking]

@Diogenes TheDog ty for the input, and I agree multiple sessions with a professional would help differentiate the two for sure. I guess my question was really... Could a patient with Paranoid PD be mistaken for a psychopath by common folks without education on the topic. Like, would the average person think a Paranoid is a psycho? As far as mental health professionals and their diagnoses, I'm sure they would identify the differences rather easily. P.S. good luck with your journey in education!

[@kimlarso6622]

null Gr8 question!

[@arq.margotcueto9524]

Thanks again dr . Grande Are all people who rape or molest or have sex with children psychopaths? Are parents who have incest with thier kids psychopaths? Or mentally ill? If so how? Do they know the harm they are doing to their victims but just dont care? Or are they unaware?

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

I want to know this too.

[@LeonCouch]

I'm a PhD in a completely different field than psychology, but I have developed an interest in psychology, due to the psychopaths and (well, honestly) strange males I've encountered over the years during my travels (platonic aquaintences or friendship as long as they could last with their huge troubles). And, when I've gained the trust of these men, they've admitted their actions, thoughts, and reasoning. And, I've watched numerous interviews of convicted men, etc., out of morbid fascination. So, that said, I'll tell you my impressions, as a non-expert. // I'm going to only talk about male offenders, because motivations of women usually seem quite distinct in motivation. The men seem divided into a couple groups: (1) some men don't have the ability to think in another person's shoes, specifically children, and don't understand how their actions hurt children, (2) most men, I believe, just let a thought or fantasy grow inside until some situation occurs where they transgress boundaries, such as being drunk or ending up in #3, because their desires have grown so large, (3) some men are able to rationalize their behaviors for specific cases -- the children they abuse -- as something exceptional from the norms of hurtful behaviors, (4) some men wish to harm others or have power over others (psychopaths). Of those convicted pedaphiles I've heard in interviews, it appears to me that the group of #4 is overemphasized compared to the normal population with greater than 50% being psychopathic. There is a significant number of #1, who could have been informed, educated, and trained on emotional ability, impulse control, and societies norms, such that they didn't lose their life to prison nor would have hurt so many people. Of the #4, they still could be educated about the legal consequences misbehavior and convinced it's just not in their best interest (since that's all they care about). But, I think the majority of these cases are in category #3, where it's some normal interaction -- family relations, friendly neighbors, helping out in social clubs -- just starts with a thought and grows unmanageable for that individual. In these cases, they need to be taught to recognize bad thoughts and discard them early before they're unmanageable. That is, keep fantasies as fantasies. All this is made harder with the demonization of pedaphiles. They cannot talk publicly, among friends, among family, nor even to counselors/psychologists. So, to get past just making stronger laws and social punishments to the destruction their lives and everyone around them, we will need to start by having sympathy for offenders (this doesn't mean condoning nor holding back punishment for any misbehavior) and giving them the tools to be successful in society before something bad happens -- rather than silencing them. And, to help them as well as all types of criminals reintegrate into society, rather than become worse in prisons before being released. Those are my current thoughts as a non-expert and I invite opinions and research that might refine or even change my opinion.

[@LickerOfAnuses]

@@LeonCouchYou’re absolutely right. People need to learn that demonising will only promote the rate of sexual assault victims of children. It’s a controversial, emotional topic. Not an easy issue but one step is realizing these people as disordered and getting all the help they can get will reduce the amount of cases.

[@catherinepattinson4756]

Doctor Grande can you do a video..on what it is like to be in a relationship with a borderline or sociopathic Male ( if you are a female or I guess a pro social Male as well) and what are the differences.. how you could tell which disorder they have...and what you should do when things start deteriorating after the love bomb? Is it possible for relationships with either of these types can be saved?

[@DominionMovementDotOrg]

can antisocial personality disorder be mistaken for schizoid personality disorder? particularly if evaluator unaware of person’s sexual deviance and high iq

[@kthor2271]

Thank you for your scientifically grounded and straightforward presentations. One question. When repeat criminal offenders with high levels of psychopathic traits fantasize about and then realize/commit murder that is nonsexual in nature (no overt sexual engagement with victim), does that still qualify as deviant sexual behavior (ie sadism)? Thank you.

[@taraarrington2285]

I mean I think some of these guys are probably gay so maybe there is a sexual component

[@omarelghoul9256]

English is not my 1st language. And the turms u use are above my levels even in my mother ton. So far from my understanding I meat all criterias of all the psycho disorders u mentioned in u vedios. Thank u doc for letting me know 😂

[@thekindacooldad]

so many disorders so little questions to test for them

[@thisisnotausername]

The common denominator in a lot of these descriptions seems to be the instrumentalization of others-that is, using people solely as tools to achieve your own ends. Doing this excessively is rightly abhorred in private life, but it's what every employer must do to every employee to accumulate capital. The employer must always get more than he gives. In a word, he must exploit the employee. Is it surprising that people who're used as pure means to the end of accumulating capital then go home to use their partners as pure means to the end to their own satisfaction? I think treating one's relationship with someone as a game in which one tries to get more than one gives is just extending the ethos of exploitation from the workplace to the home.

[@WonderAffirmations]

My abusive ex is factor 1. Thank you for this video

[@genevabecker8441]

Can you educate us regarding public masturbation. I had a dear friend, years ago, who had a high level position with the Federal Government. During his lifetime he was arrested twice for public masturbation. He was genuinely worried that he would lose his job, and eventually spent a lot of money getting his record expunged. He would refer to is as a compulsion, and indicated that he would best be sexually aroused simply by feeling the cool air on his thighs. He also indicated that the first behaviors started as early as age 10. The last time we spoke (I recommended "The Safer Society" to him) he indicated that he had been seeing a therapist for over six months and had reduced his 'cruising' for, at least, 6 months. I'd love your opinion on these types of disorders, or if you could recommend any books that delve into the psychology of wanting to expose himself, or as he put it "I want to be seen."

[@OvaryThetanCluster]

I have fantasies about Dr. Grande that some clinicians have called "strange," and "bizarre."

[@yourenough3]

Thanks Dr. G.

[@lilj8356]

Dr. Grande does drug addictions like "meth" have any influences in the person forming psychopathic traits? I noticed my ex has numerous sexual partners even at the same time, along with discarding of our daughter which she wants nothing to do now.

[@CJ-CANADA]

My ex had a meth addiction before he met me. I was told through my therapy, that meth changes the brain on top of pre existing mental issues. For example, my ex was insatiable in his appetite to get into one form of trouble or encounter .. he slept less than 3 hours a day and would be in and out all the time. The meth creates this increased craving for astronomical levels of dopamine and serotonin, unbelievable energy because their addiction trained them to never sleep .. even after they 'quit' using. They do the most disrespectful things right under your nose. I can't believe the small signs I missed early on about the secret sexual side.

[@idontlikesycophants8012]

Could you speak specifically about the female psychopath doctor?

[@ninajohannessen5138]

Very needed topic! Thx Doc🌹

[@twilightsprite1]

What about someone who is just not sexual, and/or they r just cold and disconnected?

[@Mohammed122kj]

What about border line personalty thay can be psycho bath ?

[@TheRealDebbieH]

This is extremely accurate

[@Arun-cb4xc]

Does it have a cure?

[@aprilrose2389]

This was so helpful!!❤

[@CarlaSnowflake-bu8vs]

I went on a date with a boy and he asked me do I think he is a psychopath ? What do you think about this one thanks

[@jessestewart169]

Sure is interesting to try and figure women out.

[@ethangors8201]

Personally I'd say that it is not having more fantasies, it's that I don't see any reason why I should feel bad about pursuing what I want sexually. Shame is just a form of regret, I don't regret anything so why should I feel ashamed for pursuing what I want sexually? My fantasys are posible and I only pursue the legal ones, but most people would still feel bad just for having them, the difference is that I don't have that hang up.

[@ethangors8201]

I'm not saying I'm for sure a psychopath but your vids on primary psychopathy describe me probably 9 out of 10 of what you say on the topic. I don't have any problem with the idea of being a psychopath, in fact it explains a lot about how other people think differently than me, very helpful.

[@dande_lion]

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with it - as long as you find someone, who enjoys the same kind of sexuality. With that I mean that you don't try to manipulate your (sex) partner into doing something you want. (No, I don't think that you, or other potential psychopaths, do that necessarily. Just wanted to mention it.)

[@ethangors8201]

@@dande_lion at what point does it become a manipulation to get someone to experiment with something I find enjoyable? At what point is it my partner's responsibility to say no to something that they don't want to do? When is my ability to talk someone into doing something inappropriate? There is no clear line in the sand, every situation requires judgment in the moment. I'm not looking for your acceptance because it doesn't matter to me, but just making a point from the other sides perspective. Playing devil's advocate, something that I am good at.

[@demetriusmiddleton1246]

First, i say this with respect - bc i actually have gained a new found respect for individuals such as yourself bc of someone i dated recently. And in a way, i admire and even envy the no shame / regret you (and my ex) had. I don't know you personally, but i imagine you and my ex think and act similarly based on your messages. With regards to my ex... First, concepts of right and wrong are based off of YOUR individual morals and preexisting value constructs. So, when you ask questions like "what's wrong with ____" - only YOU can answer that when you compare that action to your value constructs. However, what I PERSONALLY find troubling is the fact that it seems individuals like her and maybe yourself don't feel shame / regret bc there seems to be NO value constructs to compare any actions to - other than the basic "am i hurting someone else or forcing anyone else to do anything against their will". Some see that as freedom, but to me this loosely defined set of values IS the "problem". So the action isn't what's wrong, imo it's the lack of certain values that is "wrong " and worrisome. The "nothing is off limits as long as nobody was forced or hurt" mindset. I respect that in many ways, that means you all actually have more integrity then most people with well-defined values... but as I stated, the problem is just a different problem to me, because there are no values to compare things to other than the simplistic nature of what I referenced. Do I think that makes you a bad person? Absolutely not! I feel my ex was actually a very good person in terms of her integrity and in comparison two other individuals, even to myself, with well-defined values. However, it's still unnerving, worrisome, and scary to meet someone with seemingly no moral compass. If I were to give advice, and if Ithought someone like that would actually listen, LOL, I would suggest not to focus on is a particular action right or wrong but take a step back and evaluate why the lack of a moral compass exist in the first place. And then from there figure out if you were to have a moral compass what would you want that to be and why? For example, it was scary to me at this individual so nothing wrong with some of those sexual fantasies and acting them out, as well as when I asked her what would she think of her fifteen-year-old daughter approach her with those same fantasies. If there was nothing wrong with the fantasy and acting it out then what would her opinion be if her daughter wanted to do the same things. At 15 years old. Her response was that even for her daughter It wouldn't be a problem, other than the fact that her daughter would be labeled by society as being a slut. That line of reasoning to me seems to be common amongst individuals with no moral compass and to me that, not the act or fantasy, but that line of reasoning that as long as an individual has no problem with it there is nothing wrong with it. It just seems like humans should have a moral compass that goes above the simplistic if I'm not hurting anyone or forcing anyone there's nothing wrong with it line of thought.

[@olivialiamiller5998]

@@ethangors8201 I see a bit of myself in these descriptions too, minus the harm. I don't have violent or deviant fantasies. Mostly, I like everything and I have no regrets about my adult choices. Actually, I don't regret anything that I can think of now. Maybe I'm somewhere on the low end of the scale.

[@staceydelbucchia2576]

Thank you...very interesting🙏

[@Rachaelshaw7]

Thank you for the insight that people do want to give in so to speak to the sexual fantasies hoping there's something else underneath. This was my exact feeling. My ex partner was quite giving.. I'm assuming that is not a psychopathic trait. But his fantasies were violent - so I don't know what to make of that.

[@mpv9866]

Described her to a T again Dr Grande. Thank you for sharing info

[@BatEatsMoth]

I once took a dark triad test and it said I scored lower than average on dark triad traits. Can that be an indicator of a disorder, or does it just mean I have more moral fiber than the average person?

[@t.rok13]

@@pain5835 moral fiber for a total psychopath, yes.

[@FrancesShear]

In the most scary cases of someone practising psychopathy isn't sexual fantasies along with their sexual activity oriented more towards selfishness in looking for gratification, status,, power and control over others. Isn't it true that people like who are born into a family with a long history of adhering to strict traditional values then their uncomitted behavior will be practised at the same levels of time in their life only in different ways than people who are born into a family without a long history of adhering to strict traditional values..

[@kyliewilson2911]

I love your videos it's like as close to the truth as you can get

[@thesportswarehouse8853]

I love Dr. Todd