Psychotic Super Fans

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[@CountDankula]

Go to tryfum.com/DANKULA and use code DANKULA to save an additional 10% off your order today.

[@dreamman5588]

Love you papa

[@jswets5007]

Oh mate, if you're going to dis on Björk, I'm going to have to train my pug to poop on your doormat.😂😅😢 *Edit* That's a joke not a threat ...

[@NorseGraphic]

Sooo, the Tam. I hope we’ll see the proud Scottish Tam on Dank’s noggin in a video - soon.

[@royroath2440]

Well count we kinda know the security at the palace seemed to be only there to keep the pedos safe and secure lol 🤡🌎 love ur content brother

[@iunnox666]

lol @ the fidget spinner angle they're trying with the marketing. Might want to jump ship bud, she's going down.

[@absurddive]

Nicolas Cage being stalked by a fucking mime is one of the most Nicolas Cage things I've heard.

[@ronly_driver]

Kinda sheds some light on the stories I've heard from my dad when he sold him some lighting about 10 years back or so. Always says he was just a dick to everyone in the store, coulda had some social anxiety wrapped up in that if you're being followed by mimes and conversing with naked men eating your fudgecicles 🤷‍♂️

[@absurddive]

@@ronly_driver "YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND OFFICER. I AM BEING CHASED, BY A FUCKING MIME" Cop: Nic... *sigh* you know what, we're on it **proceeds to not be on it. It's probably another nic moment**

[@ronly_driver]

​@absurddive "Mr. Cage, this is the 3rd time this week you've called us to search your freezer. It's getting excessive!"

[@absurddive]

@@ronly_driver I wonder how his manager must feel every time he starts a conversation with "YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY"

[@thegreatestfallout1794]

​@ronly_driver Too be fair, whenever Nic is in a role he doesn't break character. I can see him getting snappy because he takes the role intensely and breaking the immersion for him leading to agitation. Mix that with people constantly harassing you because you're famous, being a prick to a handful of people is pretty easy. How many people have you flicked off in traffic?

[@natemarx4999]

I am Imagining a psychotic super fan of Dank watching this upload and thinking that he is talking directly to him.

[@thatlittlevoice6354]

Or he could just be tooled up with Jergens and a box of tissue. 🥒

[@JustTryingToYoutube]

We’re called Danks thank you very much

[@retroblue69696]

he wasnt talking to me??

[@user-jc8ez9iw2j]

Tread lightly.

[@stephenpmurphy591]

​@@retroblue69696No, it's always me. Me! ME! ME! Have a nice day.

[@finwik5448]

Daft Punk had the right idea wearing masks when performing.

[@thrashandburn10221]

But are you sure they weren't just robots???

[@dabbnmike7595]

Same with ghost

[@barvelo26]

So true

[@7ItalianStallion]

😁​@@thrashandburn10221

[@Pinkrosesandagraveyard]

If I ever wanted to be a famous performer, I’d hire some younger chick to lip sing and be the face 😂

[@iantaran2843]

Infinite respect to Robert Patterson for trauma dumping on a fan for being aggressively interested. You want me ?! Aight, bet. Here is the REAL me 🤣🤣

[@bluemagician9724]

If you want to be with someone that badly, you should be find it a gift to support them in all their struggles.

[@ferdinand12390]

@@bluemagician9724 some people aren't cut to that, celebrities are sometimes imaginarily put on a pedestal that they're perfect or some shit, she must have thought he would be showering her in flowers, and all tht, just to get the real Pattinson, i have a fuckton of respect towards him just for how he dealt with that psycho

[@MrHidePatten]

Robert Pattinson being an absolute chad trying to redeem himself for Twilight.

[@illeagle9560]

Now he needs to redeem himself from that Batman movie

[@AlexKS1992]

I’m glad I’ve forgotten about that unsavory part of the early 2000s.

[@quidnick]

Seeing him jack off to a mermaid wood carving in The Lighthouse sealed the deal for me 😅

[@frostreaper1607]

Nobody hates Twilight more than Robert Pattinson 😂

[@thENDweDIE]

Imagine it wasn't a stan..as much as a journalist. All he dumped could have ended up in ink..!!

[@bwilkin23]

Standing up to the k-pop community was more inspirational than your free speech court battles

[@HopeisAnger]

Just as life-threatening, too.

[@TinaKim96]

​@@HopeisAnger More. Far more. 🙃

[@Stewyballs]

Lmao, ​@@TinaKim96 you look like a kpopfan

[@Tokito935]

​​@@TinaKim96 how bro felt after that😈😈😈:

[@Deathlobster137]

“Trauma dumping so hard that he left with a blue tinge in his hair.” Bro nice

[@Mrcryptidsarereal]

"They live in Texas, why didn't they pull out a gun?" "They live in Austin."

[@mikemurphy5898]

The term "castle doctrine" has to be the most Scottish thing ever

[@ButtslammerBob]

The Pattinson story really did solidify my like and respect for the man. He really got done dirty by being in Twilight, the man is a fantastic actor.

[@TrueBuddhaCat]

I honestly owe the dude an apology because I got a chance to see the English dub of The Boy and The Heron and…god he did a great job! Also he was great in The Lighthouse and The Batman(though I wish his Bruce Wayne didn’t look like he owned every single My Chemical Romance album; his Batman was great though)

[@AMikeStein]

I agree. Anyone can watch literally any role besides twilight to see he is pretty damn good.

[@kyleadelaide]

Check out Goodtime. That's the movie that sold me on him. Such a gritty and dark performance playing such a sleazy and gross character I felt like I needed to take a shower after.

[@AMikeStein]

@@kyleadelaide not gonna lie I was super impressed with The Lighthouse.

[@ButtslammerBob]

@@TrueBuddhaCat His performance in The Lighthouse (and Dafoe) are two of my favorite performances in film. They did such a tremendous job, Pattinson especially was shockingly good.

[@jsan2548]

“Pending enrichment.” Truth in comedy.

[@CobraDBlade]

That line is so true it was physically painful. Either that or the pain meds I'm on for my back injury are wearing off.

[@LateNightRewrites]

**mourns the once great west in Somali**

[@jimtaylor294]

Hopefully S-Korea will change its mind, or a change in government will do it for them 🤔 . (S-Korean politics is intense stuff)

[@Communistsarentpeople]

When was that

[@corenlavolpe6143]

​@@Communistsarentpeople about 11:54

[@JackOBlades0801]

Normal fans: Can I get a Selfie? Me: Dank, I have my dog here, can you teach him a few tricks?

[@7LeagueShoes]

About the guards silencing alarms: I was in the hospital after having surgery once. They give you a remote with one large button on it to call a nurse, if you're in pain or you need to use the toilet or you're vomiting blood or whatever. At one point, I was in severe pain, so I pushed the button. Nobody responded. A few minutes later, I pushed it again. Still nobody. After about ten minutes, I was just pushing the button constantly as the pain was getting worse. Eventually, I passed out from the pain. Later that day, when I was awake and feeling a little better, there was a nurse in the room. I asked why they didn't come when I pushed the button. She told me... "We thought you fell asleep on the remote."

[@haydencapps]

What she really meant was, "we were on lunch break"

[@scienceface8884]

Sometimes EMS comes rushing in to save the day only to scare the hell out of a confused and naked geriatric that accidentally rolled over onto their emergency alert necklace in their sleep.

[@7LeagueShoes]

@eface8884 I was in a hospital room 20 feet from the nurses station and it was in the middle of the day. One of them should have checked on me after the first button push. And the remote hangs from the side of the bed. You would have to *make* yourself fall asleep on it.

[@scienceface8884]

@@7LeagueShoes Oh, I agree. That wasn't meant to justify their inaction, but I can see how it might come off that way.

[@mikemurphy5898]

I'm not surprised, I was in the hospital and had to have blood work every 4 hours to make sure I wasnt about to die (for real) and at one point I couldn't get anyone to come in and change my IV bag despite a constant alarm blarring for over an hour. Maybe they figure they figured they had 4 hours...🤷‍♂️

[@Gazpacho834]

BY AZURA BY AZURA AZURA! ITS THE GRAND CHAMPION STANDING HERE NEXT TO ME!

[@MyHeadHz]

GOLLY YOU'RE THE BEST I'M GOING TO FOLLOW YOU AND WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON

[@theblancmange1265]

... MOLESTING ME!

[@eldengoat421]

THERE'S BEEN A MURDER!!!!!!

[@Hohenstein1871]

TO WEYNON PRIORY!

[@Cat_Turd_101]

​@@theblancmange1265Finally. A use for them 😋

[@PunXX0r]

"East Asia is still a high-trust society, pending enrichment." Ouch.

[@evanmcc1877]

Masallah habibi you will be enriched soon

[@lucascoval828]

One of his best lines so far. He can be based when he wants to.

[@urishima]

Pending complete collapse, as they will soon lack the people necessary to maintain basic infrastructure.

[@queefqueefington]

@@evanmcc1877 oogoli boogoli you will poop your pants soon

[@obi-wankenobi3790]

Japan and Korea are in their early stages of enrichment now. They're like the west in the 1960s.

[@Zthewise]

The guy who broke into Buckingham palace sounds like a Mr.Bean sketch.

[@MeWhenTheFearHasHunger]

It is technecally a mr bean sketch, when his favourite cup is broken and the shop doesn't have any, he breaks into buckingham palace and after failing to take the replica the queen lets him have it

[@hydromancer4916]

Fun fact: Gavin is a supporter of gun control. Before the break-in, his coworker at Rooster Teeth Joel made comments about how he hopes somebody breaks into his house to teach him the value of the 2nd amendment.

[@FrostbiteDigital]

God Joel was so based. It's no wonder why RT wanted him out

[@sloshed-rat]

Man, poor Keira Knightley. She was literally putting up with cat calls.

[@Pines_Druid]

Brilliant. 🤙

[@dalemoss4684]

Hahahaha

[@azerjinn9160]

🙏

[@theeouroborobelisk5477]

Really folks, must I be the one? OK, fine. BA-DUMP TISS

[@JohnDoe-ic3gt]

"Actually, it IS weird they didn't invoke castle doctrine in Texas. Wonder wh-" *hears Austin* "...that suddenly makes sense."

[@CobraDBlade]

That and Gav isn't the gun-using type. In their earlier slow-mo stuff if firearms were involved he would actually mention how he was actually afraid of them. Not so much any more, especially since they did some stuff with Kentucky Ballistics but Gav wasn't exactly jumping at pulling the trigger then either.

[@LateNightRewrites]

​@CobraDBlade so he's a Nancy. You used a lot of words to say that he's a nancy

[@Synergy7Studios]

​@@CobraDBladeHe was anti gun to the point where he and a pro gun member of rooster teeth got into a fight that ended with the pro gun guy getting fired.

[@theKashConnoisseur]

@@Synergy7Studios What's the source for this? Sounds like an interesting story.

[@fedyno4reviews]

​@@LateNightRewritestakes one to know one.

[@overlorrd53]

Thanks for covering Dimebag. My grandfather served on CPD with the officer that killed Dime's killer. According to my grandpa, he couldnt deal with having killed Nathan Gale and quit his career with the police department. A few years ago I was with my ex in the Columbus area and drove past a place that had a stone out front that had "DIME" spray painted on it. It was Alrosa Villa. I immediately turned the car around and pulled into the lot. I put my hand on the rock and said a prayer. At the time I had been playing guitar for 7 years and to take in that place was something else. I'll always remember his playing and how much it meant to me in the years I first started playing. RIP Dime, man.

[@denisn8336]

Still gut wrenching what happened that day. Rip dimebag…..

[@noanswer1864]

Pattenson has MASSIVE balls. I love it. "You wanna know everything about me? Fine. Here is how I actually think about most things with no soft filter."

[@30cal23]

That almost makes up for twilight

[@aquila4142]

@@30cal23 he made up the difference with Batman tbh

[@rinoz47]

Well... Guess I can retire my Count Dankula Semen Statue.

[@ukwarrior89]

I‘ll take it off your hands if youre not gonna eat it

[@Hippo_Hegemony]

​@@ukwarrior89 why would you make it worse, why?

[@hydra7094]

@@Hippo_Hegemony it was group effort to make it so we share it

[@HFFCANADA]

​@@hydra7094you made it even worse. 😂

[@mr.s9783]

@@ukwarrior89I’m dying right now 😂😂😂

[@KagemaruHitokiri]

How the hell does Nicholas Cage's psycho fan encounter sound like a Nicholas Cage bit in a fever dream movie?

[@tiagobelo4965]

He was simply that in tune with Mr. Cage

[@nothanks9503]

Dude a psycho nick cage fan is a wild concept

[@PumpkinHoard]

"Don't be fucking weird about it." Cuts to *Alex* *Jones* with Dankula in a headlock.

[@mkv2718]

Always remember: “fan” is just a shortening of “fanatic.”

[@palaceofwisdom9448]

"If you ever see me in public, it's okay to approach, just don't be weird about it." Immediately followed by Alex Jones placing Dank in a sleeper hold. Not the best bit of editing. 🤣

[@-TakingSomeLs]

"She poisoned him with superglue" Hearing that with a sore throat makes me shudder. VIOLENTLY

[@TheSm0keP1tt]

the fact this man almost died and let her get off scott free is crazy like that’s a good time to go to jail.

[@alexanderrupert4379]

And I'll be looking over my shoulder for that mime forever.

[@RMONEY2555]

Reminds me of dumb ways to die

[@TRAPedINDAmuSIC]

Rip Dimebag, you were a fucking legendary inspiration. Legends live forever.

[@dio2076]

Pantera rules!!!

[@anomonyous]

🤘🗿

[@bmbmw69]

Paterson is genius. The best way for a guy to get rid of a girl is to complain to them. He basically gave her the ick on purpose.

[@drewishaf]

22:00 If I were the Nick Cage mime, I wouldn't tell anybody. I might act out, but I wouldn't ever say a word about it....

[@Vestaxowner1]

ah yes, the taylor swift fans episode

[@stephenpmurphy591]

Uh oh, a new global threat has emerged Swifties. Should they hire Hugo Boss to design their uniforms were in big trouble. Heil Swift. Yikes..

[@firstnamelastnamethirdname]

they stand next to sports and anime/cartoon fans. .. the internet allowed stupidity to breed faster

[@RemusKingOfRome]

She's currently in Australia, and the media cannot get enough of her, feeding the teenage girl SPENDING frenzy ! Yes, you must buy all the merch to prove your devotion !

[@Trump2024asw]

If they do that I'm buying air pods and ear plugs an join up for that drip.

[@micnorton9487]

Taylor has LOTS of obsessed fans,, supposedly many various stalkers AND the inevitable impromptu visits similar to this example with the Queen of England... I read a few years ago some guy got by Taylor's outer fence/ Wall,, through the outer area that's supposed to have dudes walking back and forth,, INTO the huge house,, looked in the kitchen but didn't grab anything,, and sits looking out this fabulous picture window,, makes himself more comfortable by kicking off his shoes,, lay back with his hands behind his head and fell asleep.... I guess he never met Taylor but a made walking by with tablecloths or dish towels or some s*** screams and takes off, and when he wakes up he's got four huge Gorillas standing over him,, with the guy who had said wake up pointing a pistol at him, and the idiot just smiles, sits up on the couch, and says is Taylor here? I read she was in some other part of the huge house, working out with a workout coach or something and when one of the big apes came and told her, she just laughed and picks up a water bottle and says another one?

[@g0ddamnitjeremy]

"A high trust society." *Pending enrichment*

[@bradesproduction1818]

I once dated a girl 6 years ago, she tried to accused me of things but failed and then wrote my name in period blood on the bathroom wall. Too this day im still to scared to date

[@tiagobelo4965]

Im pretty sure most women aren't like that, might be worth another try.

[@hikingglint9648]

By Azura, by Azura, by Azura! It's the Grand Champion! I can't believe it's you, Standing here, next to mee....

[@OceanbornAngel]

That guy that snuck into Buckingham must have very high stealth stats.

[@halfseamusracing9073]

Nah, he min maxed luck

[@ericv00]

Nah, security had a negative perception stat.

[@thrashandburn10221]

Buckingham? More like Snuck-ingham! 🥁

[@TheMiracleMatter]

@@thrashandburn10221 "Snuck-ingham!" ?? No, Snuck-in-ham ! How did you F this up !??

[@thrashandburn10221]

@@TheMiracleMatter I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ

[@anondeilvers91]

I want to live in the timeline where Michael broke into the queen's room. And when she woke up, Michael immediately started river dancing and singing Irish rebel songs.

[@tiagobelo4965]

That or one where he just bows down and hits her with the "your majesty."

[@DarthSidian]

@@tiagobelo4965 Nah, the first one's funnier.

[@thattinawoman5119]

I live in TX, and Dimebag Darrell's grave is in the DFW metroplex. When my brother decided to finally leave Illinois for a visit, he told me "On the way down, I'm going to finally see Dimebag Darrel's grave." He called me after he visited, and he said people were coming in and out visiting the entire time he was there. The man made an impression for sure.

[@denisn8336]

Rest easy Dime…

[@zacharymcmillan2788]

Dime was one in a million. 👍

[@JoeRogansForehead]

“Pending enrichment” 🤣🤣 I see you Dank even if nobody else did

[@Rekaert]

This is one of those, "Is it the wrong time to state I'm your number 1 Fan until death" moments? Trick question. It's always the wrong moment for that shit.

[@MSinistrari]

Ages back my mom was president of the Christopher Lee International Club. In addition to the usual fan club duties, she'd also help out with handling the fan mail. Little me was all up to help mom with things as much as I could, so I'd be helping with opening the mail and sorting things as I could. Got my first experience with how crazy fandom could be when I opened a letter and the person had mailed a vial of what I hope was their own blood to Christopher Lee. After that, mom did some presorting before letting me help with the mail.

[@ZeroFoxtrotGolf]

"High trust society, pending enrichment", Savage! I love it!

[@riccardodelmiglio220]

Chad pov: dress up as a mime, go to Hollywood, watch Nicolas cage act for free, leave

[@jonnybarnard8578]

Dank got PTSD from the pug situation, he was so scared about saying the name Nigemeyer 😂

[@lunarvision]

How does one pronounce that name?

[@Neo2266.]

@@lunarvisionneej’mahyer?

[@TheG_Boy]

The guard turning off the alarms like some NPC in a stealth game

[@Baz97__]

R.I.P Dimebag Darrell, dude was a hero to so many people.

[@PotterBrony82]

Robert Pattinson: I’m gonna do what’s called a pro-gamer move.

[@Sevenigma777]

It shouldn't matter if that dude wanted to press charges or not for being poisoned because the state or whatever local police force should have been able to charge that girl themselves especially with the overwhelming evidence of her guilt. That's ridiculous! IDC how young she was it sounds like she was old enough to know what she was doing was wrong and not punishing her will not let her learn from her mistakes.

[@vladdracul7810]

I've met a few celebrities. Had beers with Ken Shamrock, crown and cokes woth Lemmy Kilmister, and Bruse Willis on the set of Tears of the Sun. (I was in the F/A 18 squadron that did the carrier scenes) I've found that the best way to meet and actually spend some time with celebrities is to NOT fan boy. Just treat them like normal folks. They seem to enjoy that.

[@pramanabudiman9761]

Of course, they're human. Also, damn, Lemmy Kilmister and Bruce Willis? You lucky to have met Lemmy before he passed away.

[@vladdracul7810]

@pramanabudiman9761 Yes, I do consider myself lucky to have met Lemmy. He was every bit cool as you would expect. Not at all haute. Treated me like we were old friends. I've met a few others that have said the same thing about him.

[@EuTrabalhoParaSagres510]

Admit it: you and Lemmy railed massive lines of speed, and you were left sleepless for 4 days 😂

[@jackdngur6370]

I'm adding 'pending enrichment' into my personal lexicon to be used more frequently

[@joes.8500]

I met Dime in 94. I've never met a nicer famous person. His talent will never be matched. RIP Dime.

[@CertifiedDoc]

30:30 Back in high school I had a guy walk up and stand uncomfortably close to me at a urinal. He sayed there for about 30 seconds before he said "My Indian name is Watch-As-You-Pee" and walked off. I don't think I was in danger, but man I hate public restrooms.

[@LarsOfTheMohicans]

Stalls exist for a reason, fren.

[@oz_jones]

Im sorry i laughed

[@CertifiedDoc]

@@oz_jones Oh, in hindsight it's both funny as heck and slightly disturbing.

[@jk7690]

The Dimebag Darrell one makes me so sad. Pantera was epic and Damage Plan had so much potential. I had no idea that that is the reason we have rails and security guards at concerts.

[@Liam-rf1ey]

The murder of dimebag darrell was such a tragedy. One of the greatest guitarists in human history killed so young

[@Boethius4748]

“…it was her period blood.” Literally just choked on my coffee. Thanks a lot, Dank.

[@Bleda412]

Saw that miles away.

[@liamnehren1054]

that part was very much the tree house of terror meme of the krusty doll.

[@John-om2zf]

To be fair it's "God save the monarch" not "God stop weirdos from approaching the monarch in his or her bed"

[@amateursnake424]

My mom got to see Mudvayne (with Dimebag's brother Vinny on drums, she got to meet him too, he was also drummer of Pantera) and was there when Dimebag was shot. She tried to leave the venue to go to her car and the security told her if she leaves she CANNOT come back in. It's a part of the band's rules ( or was since Vinny died a while ago) because of this exact incident.

[@nathant6655]

i actually met Alex Jones once. I WAS weird about it and he WAS eating. i feel kinda bad but it was in the very last place I’d expect

[@elijahparnell2105]

I remember at knotfest Sydney 2023 me and my mate spotted jarrad wright (creator of the big lez show, Australian animated KZbin comedy show that gets very trippy). Walked up said hello and that his content had changed my life and the way I view things and he gave me a big hug and said it changed his life for people watching. We got a photo together and then went our separate ways to enjoy the rest of the day with all the bands, I didn’t spot him again after that. But it was really good and really wholesome, I felt like a Stan because my hands were deadass shaking tryna give his missus the phone to take a photo😂 but he was super sweet and more than happy to get a photo. He’s said in podcasts he likes getting photos and meeting fans but sometimes I look back on it and hope I didn’t come across as a superfan, I was genuinely tryna be chill about it all

[@daviddavis3939]

I don't think most people genuinely believe they have a chance with their single entertainer of choice. But when you use parasocial relationships to fill the void of actual companions it is an easy thing to break. Most people know they have no chance, but for a couple hours a day they get to pretend someone cares about them. I recognize that these are practically the same thing but I think that there is something deeper that divides the people who are genuinely delusional about their chances and the ones just looking for a bit of comfort.

[@mattheweagle223]

Alice Cooper always took drinks from fans Legend

[@TheAtlasReview]

Don't fuck with mimes. You never know what kind of invisible artillery they wield.

[@jckent101]

20:25 The first rule of Gun Safety: Don't cut me off in traffic

[@daviddavidson2357]

"Then he said something that I'm not gonna repeat" "Mine is bigger" no doubt

[@falcon5751]

My friend who’s in prison literally talks about how he’s making his own liquor in jail over the phone, hasn’t been caught yet haha

[@TheJonesChannel11]

Gavin not owning a gun and/or exercising his rights to castle doctrine? Yeah, I wish I could say I'm shocked.

[@TheSaintedOne]

I love Dankula's writing. He works in puns and nods to such small things like songs from trailers when mentioning specific movies. Feels like he's making these jokes just for me. I love him and if I can't have him, NO ONE WILL!

[@thrashandburn10221]

Thinking that Dankula confused Keira Knightley for Natalie Portman and then looking it up to realize that Keira Knightley was Amidala's body double in the phantom menace has me all messed up

[@alexanderrahl7034]

Today i learned Meg Turney has an onlyfans, and i simultaneously feel bad for Gavin, and also lost a fair amount of respect for him. Assuming theyre still married. Considering she doesnt have a ring on in a lot of her photos

[@RohanSpartin]

I learned about her OF first hand, and it's nothing noteworthy. Gavin cucked hard.

[@carzie9780]

Rooster teeth is full of degenerates anyway.

[@FrostbiteDigital]

Eh, I don't. Gavin, Meg and a large number of RT employees were genuinely terrible people. Ironically Joel was the only one who told Gavin the second amendment would've helped with his break-in situation lol.

[@FaolanHart]

I knew K-Pop fans had a reputation for being crazy......but Jesus bloody Christ I had no idea it was so bad.

[@poopydonkey]

I am so relieved that you brought this subject up... I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN COUNT DANKULA!!! I EVEN NAMED MY DING DONG AFTER YOU!!! Why you may ask??? Because when I play with it, I yell,"COUNT DANKULA, COUNT DANKULA, COUNT DANKULA!!!!" Every time I play with it. A common euphemism for masturbation at my place is Count Spankula.

[@Plus_Escapee]

What if your stalker called himself Count Yankula?

[@GeeMannn]

Count Spankula

[@Neo2266.]

Mount Fatula… no wait that’s just michael meechan

[@baddragonite]

Yknow considering I do security, it is actually kinda funny how often I unironically go "huh musta been the wind"

[@kenrides]

Breaking into the Queens bedroom = 3 months and a psych evaluation Being near the capital on J6th = indefinite imprisonment and solitary confinement. Both of these outcomes seem to be incorrect.

[@tiagobelo4965]

Yet one certainly sounds more reasonable, and it's the one where the charges of stealing wine are dropped

[@Knekten666]

david attenborough will never die. He will instead one day transcend into nature and become one with the world he loved so much. And we will all hear his voice in our heads everytime we look at something facinating in f.ex the woods or in the sea, giving us his undying wisdom

[@culturebreath369]

R.I.P. Dime, my dad loved ya. 🤘 R.I.P. Dad as well 🙏♥️👑🤘

[@iBeHampe]

I knew Christina Grimmie had to end up being on this list. I use to watch her videos a lot, for a few years.. what’s wild is I was at work, with my iPhone playing music from my iTunes library on shuffle, one of her songs had literally just played, a few songs had played after when a coworker told me the news! I was like you’ve got to be kidding me.. when did that happen..?? He said it just happened, and the timeline lined up with when her song had played on my shuffle randomly..

[@BoopaKing]

How in the actual fuck did no one respond to the Queen's bedroom panic button? That is *_THE_* Red Alert situation, and there was no response at all? Whoever was on duty that night should've been charged with criminal negligence. That night would have ended in regicide had it been someone malicious. What the fuck.

[@voided76]

My cousin Danny wrote a lot about being in that crowd at the damageplan show at alrosa villa. I had to pick him up that night because police secured the building and the entire parking lot as a crime scene. probably makes my top ten shittiest nights in my life.

[@BarneyFife1776]

First one was the most tragic, rip Dimebag

[@fishingpatriotisback]

Dankula meowing through my mail box hole is now in my head. I no longer have a mail box hole.

[@nonayobiznez5311]

"So I broke into the Palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner." - The Smiths

[@lindenkendall5001]

Dank name dropping Gavin Free wasn't in my 2024 bingo card 😂

[@lukestover2207]

That shook me. Grew up watching AH yet I forget that Gavin is known more for his SLO-Mo stuff

[@MrMcChuckles95]

Imagine Martin blasting "Baby" in his cell 🤣

[@Cyrus_T_Laserpunch]

The guy who wandered around the royal palace TWICE is an absolute legend, if only he didn't make the mistake of going to the Queen's room on the second day, with his godly luck with staff would he have gotten himself a certified royal meal by accident by ringing a service bell? Just where does the royal family hide all the good snacks?

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

Mark McCatipuss is golden. I know the name of my next khajit character.

[@anomonyous]

That better be Morrowind you're playing.

[@ekimaulthar2044]

"...security didn't think to question the mime..." WTF good is asking a mime gonna be, ya doofus?

[@dreadburnz3522]

Security Guard: wtf are you doing here The mime: 🫷😮🫸

[@Yabanmf666]

R.I.P. Dime

[@5uperM]

31:45 I remember this case! I think Gavin stated to he doesn't like guns and possibly went as far to say that he thought people shouldn't own guns.

[@chrisw6164]

I’m old, so I remember the world before internet. I knew a lot of “big fans” of various things (I ran in nerd circles), but coming across a true obsession was rare. Something changed in society, and it’s probably the rise of internet and definitely social media that’s ruined a lot of minds.

[@MysticOfTheSands]

The guy at the end is such a walking paradox: actually willing to put in the work to become worthy of (initial) attention, but then being rendered unable to face rejection partly due to those very same efforts. Virtue and vice rolled in a particularly volatile combo.

[@scooterdescooter4018]

my late fiancée was supposed to be at that Damage Plan show, she knew Vinny Paul from doing merch on tours, sadly (or thank the Emperor) she was sick as a dog that night. i loved that woman. It's a shame she died.

[@TheKingofSteves]

I feel personally attacked. Why would you do this to me?!?! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!

[@jamesflames6987]

Sounds like there is a bit more to the Pattinson story. Rather than just trying to "annoy" her, maybe he realised she was obsessed an idealised image of him and he was able to dispel that by proving that he was a real person with everyday problems. Interesting guy.

[@doinksinthePM]

I was really hoping that Michael and her belated Majesty would've wound up striking up a nice little conversation before security/police finally came. 😪😀

[@theMightyWhytey]

Respect to Pattinson! That was pretty funny.

[@steveeymann6374]

I used to have a side gig working vìp and stage security for a local concert venue. I worked concerts from Deirks Bently, to Jason Derulo featuring Skylar Grey (who I met personally), to Willy Nelson. The absolute worst, most unhinged, unruly fans I ever dealt with were middle aged white women during a Poison concert. I can't count the amount of drunken insane women we had to drag away from the stage, but I do know we set an all time record for people arrested that night.

[@duffman638]

So wait a minute, is my Count Dankula tattoo that has your face surrounded by the words Absolute Mad Lad on my buttcheek is inappropriate?? Cause I will stand on this island that it is single handedly the Greatest Tattoo Ever.....on my butt cheek.

[@Grritz]

I wouldn't be upset if I had a super fan. I might actually have a friend for once.

[@fortheloveofking]

"No one thought to question the mime." Well, of course not.

[@davidnewman4678]

My cousin was in music journalism and knew Dime Bag. Had some pretty cool stories and was really devastated when he got the news